{"id":304510,"date":"2017-05-18T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-05-18T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-beauty-of-planned-spending\/"},"modified":"2017-05-18T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-05-18T15:00:00","slug":"the-beauty-of-planned-spending","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-beauty-of-planned-spending\/","title":{"rendered":"The Beauty of Planned Spending"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Julie Crosson, Russ Crosson | Series: Eight Important Money Decisions | Are you a &#8220;saver&#8221; married to a &#8220;spender&#8221;? Russ and Julie Crosson live a balanced life, especially when it comes to their checkbook. They learned early on to resist impulse buying through planned spending, and encourage couples to follow their lead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Russ and Julie Crosson live a balanced life when it comes to their checkbook. They learned early on to resist impulse buying through planned spending, and encourage couples to follow their lead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:42","filesize":"26.27M","filesize_raw":"27548548","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2807,2851,2808],"tags":[5342,4525],"podcast_series":[8012],"cwp_profile":[9337,9336],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304510","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","category-finances","category-newlyweds","tag-budget","tag-finances","podcast_series-eight-important-money-decisions","cwp_profile-julie-crosson","cwp_profile-russ-crosson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304510\/the-beauty-of-planned-spending","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304510\/the-beauty-of-planned-spending","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5Vy6q9xAgs\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-beauty-of-planned-spending\/\">The Beauty of Planned Spending<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-beauty-of-planned-spending\/embed\/#?secret=5Vy6q9xAgs\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Beauty of Planned Spending&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5Vy6q9xAgs\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Russ and Julie Crosson join us today to talk about how God changed their hearts on lots of things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like submission and like money. We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Let me see if you agree with this guy\u2014a guy writes: \u201cMy experience in working with couples for nearly four decades tells me couples, starting out their marriage today, are in need of training about how to approach the issues of money. Most people seem to be biblically illiterate when it comes to that subject.\u201d Do you agree with that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course, I agree with that statement\u2014I wrote it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You did write it. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s the foreword to a book called <em>8 Important Money Decisions for Every Couple<\/em>. Russ Crosson joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Russ, welcome back. Julie, welcome back, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Thanks, Dennis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Good to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Glad you guys are here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRuss has worked in the area of financial planning all the way back to 1980. He is currently the President and CEO of Ronald Blue &amp; Company in Atlanta, Georgia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this book is filled with all kinds of questions that you think couples need to work through. One of them that I get asked all the time\u2014that I want you to tackle\u2014because this just puts the cookies right on the lower shelf: \u201cWho should pay the bills?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You mean, \u201cWho writes the checks?\u201d\u00a0 Is that what you\u2019re asking?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \u201cWho writes the checks?\u201d\u00a0 Well, it may not be a check anymore, Bob; because you can go online to pay your bills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWho does the\u201d\u2014yes\u2014\u201cthe electronic bill paying?\u201d\u2014okay. So, who should?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, it kind of depends. [Laughter]\u00a0 Do you like that answer?\u00a0 Let\u2019s start off with answering that with\u2014ultimately, because of what the Scripture says about the man is to provide for his family\u2014it\u2019s up to the husband to make sure there is enough income coming in to make sure that the expenses can all be made. Now, when you get down to who is actually going to pay the utilities, pay the mortgage, buy groceries\u2014whatever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, now, you start opening up some other issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could have the wife pay all the bills and the husband is on allowance. We see that sometimes\u2014he gets an allowance every month, and she takes care of the bills. Sometimes, the husband pays all the bills; and the wife\u2019s got some for groceries and allowance. That can be driven by temperament \/ it can be driven by personality. So, all those things have to be factored in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor Julie and I\u2014we have what\u2019s called assigned accountability. We\u2019ve set the budget. There are a few things she is responsible for, and we\u2019ve agreed about that at the front of the year. So, she\u2019ll pay those bills. Then, I pay everything else. There was a time where I thought I was going to exercise my leadership and \u201cWhat if something happened to me?\u201d\u2014I was going to let her pay all the bills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, I thought that\u2019d be a good idea\u2014you know, let her pay them all one month and see how that went. Oh my! It was\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Refresh our listeners how she used to handle the checkbook. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, when I met Julie, I got the checkbook and looked at it\u2014you know\u2014when two become one \/ you get married\u2014you\u2019ve got to merge your financial lives. I looked at her checkbook, and there were never any balances. It was just expenses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just a record of\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>And I said, \u201cWhat is this?\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cWell, I know there is enough money in there.\u201d So, she didn\u2019t even bother to kind of: \u201cLet\u2019s see how much money was in there.\u201d\u00a0 She just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She was not into subtracting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>No; she was not into subtracting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Didn\u2019t like to subtract. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, I don\u2019t know\u2014a few years into our marriage, I thought: \u201cI need to be a leader here. I need to let her pay the bills so she\u2019d know how to do it if something happened to me.\u201d\u00a0 About one month of that was all I could handle\u2014[Laughter]\u2014because I didn\u2019t know if she was subtracting in it. I didn\u2019t know what was really going on\u2014I\u2019m not sure she knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>No. My thinking is: \u201cIf you\u2019re [$]400 to the good or bad, it really doesn\u2019t matter. It will all wash out in the end next time.\u201d\u00a0 So\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s really not a gifting area for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>No\u2014no; because, to me, \u201cWhy should I stress out over that when probably I just added or subtracted wrong?\u201d He likes it down to the penny. So, you can understand his distress. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, back to this issue, \u201cWho pays the bills?\u201d\u00a0 The husband is responsible to make sure there is enough money there. You\u2019ve just got to work it out. For Julie and I\u2014it\u2019s been great in the fact that she\u2019s got areas of responsibility that she pays. I don\u2019t have to worry about it\u2014she\u2019s got it. Then, I\u2019ve got the rest of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I gave her 100 percent of it, I was stressed out. So, I had to take some of it back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Well, and I will say, in my defense, I do love our system; because I do have areas of accountability that\u2014he gives me a certain amount for groceries, and for children\u2019s clothes, and health, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Which, by the way, I didn\u2019t give her those amounts. Early on, one of the mistakes couples make is the husband sets the budget for areas he has no idea what they should be. So, obviously, those amounts, she had\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, [$]12.50 a month for the\u2014and I\u2019m talking about $12.50 for the kids\u2019 clothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s not going to work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, she sets those amounts. I mean\u2014so that\u2019s where part of the communication comes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>But there was a verse that Russ did show, and I didn\u2019t realize it was in the Bible. It\u2019s Proverbs 27:23\u2014says, \u201cKnow well the condition of your flocks and herds.\u201d\u00a0 Well, back then, obviously, they did not have bank accounts. I realized I needed to know where my money was going, and I need to be controlled and know the condition of my finances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we decided to do the accountability, I really actually loved it; because, as I subtracted through the month, I knew right where I was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew there wouldn\u2019t be any surprises. So, it actually turned out to be something I <em>liked<\/em> a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, Julie, I\u2019m going to ask you to comment on this; but I want, first of all, Russ to defend the statement. You\u2019ve made this statement, now, twice in this conversation\u2014that some of our listeners have had the hair on the back of their necks stand up about. You probably know what it is. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Russ: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you\u2019ve made this statement\u2014it\u2019s based on a premise that the husband needs to determine how much money the family needs to have coming in and to manage from that amount. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, Scripture\u20141Timothy 5:8: \u201cHe who does not provide for his own is worse than an infidel.\u201d\u00a0 Okay; so, it\u2019s pretty clear in Scripture that man has been given the responsibility to provide the income for the\u2014to make sure enough is coming in. And that\u2019s my context of this discussion, Dennis\u2014is that he is responsible to provide for the family. The Bible doesn\u2019t say the wife is responsible to provide for the family. The husband is responsible to provide for the family. That\u2019s the context. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, once the money comes in, how it gets allocated should be a joint mutually-agreed-upon decision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; so, the guy who says: \u201cMy wife\u2019s a doc \/ she\u2019s a physician. I\u2019m a carpenter. Here\u2014I\u2019m responsible for it coming in. We\u2019ve decided, together, the way I\u2019m going to fulfill my responsibility is\u2014she\u2019s going to go be a doctor and will make four times as much money as I\u2019ll ever make as a carpenter.\u201d\u00a0 Is that okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>That\u2019s a real interesting question; because, now, you get into the whole roles and potential role reversal and things like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll just tell a story. I had a young lady call the office\u2014she was 20-and-a-half years old. She says, \u201cHey, I need to come in and see you guys.\u201d\u00a0 She came in; and she says, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m getting ready to get married here in about a year. I\u2019m turning 21 in six months. When I turn 21, I\u2019m going to be a recipient of all this trust money.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget what she said\u2014she says, \u201cRuss, I don\u2019t want to have happen to me what I saw happen to my mother and my grandmother\u2014who didn\u2019t really need a man, you know, to provide.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWell, here\u2019s what we\u2019re going to do.\u201d\u00a0 We designed a plan to live off of his income so he felt good about that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he was providing. With the trust money and all that, we used that for some really significant generous giving. That\u2019s always stuck with me; because what she was really saying was: \u201cI\u2019ve watched when the wife has either inherited wealth or makes more money\u201d\u2014your doctor illustration\u2014\u201cwhat that can do to the man\u2019s psyche.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not here saying that she shouldn\u2019t be a doctor, and they shouldn\u2019t figure out how to make it work; but this is uncovering a whole lot of other issues about roles; okay?\u00a0 In the book, we talk about the purpose of marriage is to model correct roles. That\u2019s why it\u2019s kind of interesting. I mean, early on, Julie made more money than I did\u2014I was \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta teacher\/ she was a nurse anesthetist. I didn\u2019t really like the way that <em>felt<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>\u2014because, down deep, I felt like: \u201cI should be doing this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know there will be some listeners that will disagree with that; but I think, if you really have a heart-to-heart talk about it and go back to the Scripture on who is responsible\u2014God is the head of man \/ man is the head of woman. You know, we see that in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 11:3. But the doctor and the carpenter\u2014that\u2019s an interesting conundrum. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, your advice, back to Bob\u2019s illustration, what would you say to that couple?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>I would say that there are all kinds of other issues, you know: \u201cWhat are you going to do, long term, when you have kids and all that kind of stuff?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s very tempting to say, \u201cHey, we\u2019re both going to work,\u201d or the husband is maybe going to stay home; but, \u201cWhat are you going to be modeling?\u201d\u00a0 That would be one of the questions I would ask that couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve got some radio programs with Dennis Rainey\u2014you might want to listen to because he\u2019s tackled this subject with folks. [Laughter] We can\u2019t be categorical\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and say, \u201cHere is the absolute answer for every couple.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But there are some important questions, just as you\u2019ve said, that every couple needs to pray through, consider, get wise counsel, and look at what the Scriptures have to say. In general, what I\u2019ve heard you say, Dennis, is that Russ is right\u2014there is something in the heart and soul of a man\u2014if he is abdicating the provision responsibility for his family, it\u2019s not going to go well in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and if it\u2019s just a season, that may be one thing;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but if it\u2019s over a lifetime, I\u2019ve seen some situations that have not ended up pretty. In fact, divorce has occurred there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to come back to you, Julie. You started this marriage out\u2014you said you had some leanings in the direction of feminism. How did this go down for you\u2014married to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthis man who believes he\u2019s responsible for your financial position in your marriage and family?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Julie: <\/strong>Well, actually, I got that solved <em>before<\/em> I married him; because it would not have gone well had I not. [Laughter] When we met, I was into the feminism-thing, where: \u201cI don\u2019t want children. I don\u2019t want a family. I don\u2019t want to get married,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m not ever going to submit to a man and say, \u2018What would you like to do with the money, dear?\u2019\u201d\u2014that just wasn\u2019t going to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what happened was\u2014as we dated, I would say things to him like: \u201cI don\u2019t like the way you spend money,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t like\u2026\u201d\u2014I mean, I was pretty honest with him; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Mean to me would be a better word. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Okay; I was\u2014yes; I was. But as it progressed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014my dad actually liked him and would say, \u201cHe\u2019s head and shoulders above the rest,\u201d because I\u2019d say to Dad\u2014who never liked anybody I brought home\u2014I\u2019d say, \u201cI think I\u2019m ready to move on.\u201d He\u2019d say, \u201cNo; I really\u2014this guy\u2019s head and shoulders above the rest.\u201d So, it was like: \u201cI better get rid of him, because I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> getting married; and I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> having children; and I\u2019m not going to be poor.\u201d\u00a0 I really\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What caused you to change, then?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>God is in the business of changing hearts. That is just <em>amazing<\/em> to me, because I had made up my mind to the point of doing something\u2014having surgery and doing something permanent to never be able to have children\u2014because \u201cThat would ruin my career.\u201d But as we kept dating and\u2014he just kept loving me. One of the things that he finally\u2014a month later, [he] asked me to marry him. I said, \u201cNo way. No; no.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWell, if you change your mind, call me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, there was one point where I asked Dad; I figured\u2014my dad and I were very close\u2014I said, \u201cDad, if I sat down and said, \u2018Would you give me your blessing, 100 percent, to marry Russ; would you?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I just knew he would say, \u201cUh-uh.\u201d\u00a0 My dad\u2019s a man of few words\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014sat there and nodded his head, very slowly, up and down. I went: \u201cOh, dear! I\u2019ve got to get rid of him!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, I knew\u2014I knew that Russ would not tolerate certain things\u2014his thing is smoking and drinking\u2014and he has real strong convictions about both of those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what did I do? I went to him the next week and said: \u201cI\u2019m going to take these national boards for anesthesia. Afterwards, I\u2019m going to go out\u2014we\u2019re going to smoke, and we\u2019re going to drink. I\u2019m going to do everything you can\u2019t tolerate.\u201d\u00a0 He goes, \u201cYou know, if you do that, I won\u2019t date you anymore.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOh well!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat Wednesday\u2014we\u2019re going to take the boards on Friday\u2014Wednesday, my heart changed. By the time he got home\u2014I no longer wanted to. When he came down the driveway\u2014which I thought I\u2019d never see him again\u2014he came down \/ he said, \u201cI want to know what you decided to do,\u201d because I knew he was going to leave if I had decided\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cWell, God changed my heart. I decided not to.\u201d I liken it to Jacob wrestling with the angel. God kept waking me up; and I\u2019m a sound sleeper\u2014so, I don\u2019t wake up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, after this continuous wrestling, it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat\u2019s the problem?\u201d I was so confused. The verse about God\u2019s not the author of confusion popped into my mind. So, I said, \u201cWell, if I\u2019m confused, what\u2019s my sin?\u201d\u00a0 What popped up was\u2014I did not trust God for my finances. I didn\u2019t feel like God could take care of me, and I also didn\u2019t trust God with submission. I felt like it was a <em>terrible<\/em> thing. If God had asked me, I would have <em>never <\/em>come up with that idea\u2014where I had to submit to a man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, finally, I told the Lord: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m going to give You submission. I\u2019m going to give You finances. And I\u2019ll marry this guy,\u201d because I began to realize he had everything I\u2019d ever prayed for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>People ask, \u201cWas Julie always submissive?\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cfitting in?\u201d\u00a0 No; she had to wrestle with God on that issue, and it was four nights\u2014it was a Thursday when you told me. So, from Sunday to Thursday, she was driving a stake in the ground: \u201cWas she going to trust God or not?\u201d When she said, \u201cYes,\u201d that\u2019s when she decided to fit into my plans. Then, I take her\u2014a few months later, we move across the country \/ cut our income\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she quits working. And so, that\u2019s how\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you put her right to the test on: \u201cAm I really going to trust God with this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Right to the test. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Absolutely. Well, and I wanted to come back to something that I think, Bob, you said with the wife as a doctor and the husband as a carpenter. One of the things I\u2019m seeing, with a lot of the gals that we work with and stuff, is that so many people\u2014they take the numbers, and they live by that. Because she makes [$]200,000, then, it\u2019s like, \u201cWe <em>have<\/em> to live on that,\u201d rather than looking at eternity and \u201cWhat\u2019s best for the husband?\u201d\u2014which is what this gal did that Russ talked about\u2014\u201cWhat\u2019s the best thing for the <em>husband<\/em> to feel good about leading his family?\u201d rather than letting the tail wag the dog, which to me is\u2014the fact that she makes so much money is <em>not<\/em> a good reason for her to be the provider. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, I think we need to take an eternal perspective. We\u2019re only here about 85 years: \u201cIs this really the best decision?\u201d\u00a0 Yes; it may mean living pretty tight, but God doesn\u2019t have a problem with living tight. He has no problem with gifting and doing incredible miracles if we let Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think there is just a caution there\u2014to make sure that you don\u2019t let the numbers drive the family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>And Julie said a key thing there\u2014that we\u2019ve gotten caught up in this lifestyle, and where we live, and what it looks like. And guess what?\u00a0 Our kids don\u2019t really care. They just care that Mom and Dad are living a biblical lifestyle and that they are around. I think we forget, sometimes, that there is a much bigger issue going on here\u2014that\u2019s our godly legacy \/ our godly posterity that we\u2019re pouring into. Money can\u2014you know, if both spouses are working or, you know, the roles are reversed or whatever\u2014there are long-term implications for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know it\u2019s not popular, Dennis. You said it earlier, and I know people\u2019s hairs are probably standing up; but I would just challenge people: \u201cGet in the Word, and look at it\u2014even look at some experiences\u2014look at older couples and get their counsel. Get mentors.\u201d\u00a0 I think you\u2019ll find\u2014that the more closely a marriage is aligned with what God\u2019s Word says the better. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your kids may grouse about: \u201cWhy can\u2019t we afford this?\u201d or \u201cWhy can\u2019t we have that?\u201d and \u201cAll the other kids have got this\u201d\u2019; but at the end of the day, healthy relationships are what your kids are going to look back on and value and what\u2019s going to keep you connected, as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when your kids are 30, they\u2019re not going to look back and say, \u201cThe thing that made my childhood miserable was we weren\u2019t allowed to have a Game Boy<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or a PS7\u201d\u2014or whatever the new one is on the\u2014you know?\u00a0 They are going to look back and go: \u201cWe were a close family\u201d; and that\u2019s what\u2019s going to matter, at the end of the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I still have to go back\u2014the electric bill: \u201cDo you write the check for the electric bill, or does she write the check for the electric bill?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>I write it. She only has responsibility for groceries, miscellaneous, and an allowance\u2014I think are your categories now. So, I\u2019ve got everything else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You write the check for the electric bill or does Barbara?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary Ann\u2019s written the check for the electric bill for decades at our house; okay?\u00a0 And that way the electricity is always on at our house. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Yes, you would\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And we\u2019ve found that that\u2019s a good thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>I would agree with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>\u2014like I said earlier, Bob, you seem like the personality\u2014you\u2019d probably forget until you froze. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just have other things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014that I would\u2014yes\u2014prioritize ahead. I wouldn\u2019t forget \/ well, maybe, I would. Okay; never mind!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Now, our middle son is that way\u2014his wife does [pay the electric bill], because she is very detailed\u2014but he\u2019s like: \u201cIs there somebody out there I can talk to?\u00a0 Oh, well\u2026\u201d and forget to pay the bills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>So, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, your book is made up of eight questions. We only got to one here; but I\u2019ve got to sneak this one in, because I have a real bias about this question. And it\u2019s\u2014the question is: \u201cHow <em>much<\/em> should we work?\u201d\u00a0 I really like the way you have phrased that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Psalm 127:2 says: \u201cIt\u2019s vain to get up early and retire late and eat the bread of painful labor, for the Lord gives His beloved even in his sleep.\u201d\u00a0 And the tendency is to over-work and think, \u201cThe harder I work\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Say that verse again, but say it a little more slowly; will you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Psalm 127:2: \u201cIt\u2019s vain to get up early and retire late and eat the bread of painful labor, for the Lord gives to His beloved even in his sleep.\u201d\u00a0 Okay; so, this idea of balance. There is no net good that results from the artificial prolonging of the day, at either end. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe tendency is to think, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m just going to work harder and make more money,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s money-driven. The reality is\u2014especially, if I\u2019m a young couple \/ have young kids\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve got to try to get some balance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd here is where it gets interesting, Dennis. The blue collar jobs, in many cases, allow for more family time than the white collar jobs. You know, if you are in a job that you could\u2014a little more time will make more money\u2014the tendency is you can get trapped into this: \u201cI\u2019m just going to do one more deal,\u201d \u201c\u2026make one more call,\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201c\u2026see one more person.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why it\u2019s interesting\u2014you ever wonder why, sometimes, the blue collar folks\u2014they\u2019ve got time to go, you know, they\u2019ve got the bass boat, and they can go fishing \/ spend time with their kids on Saturday? It\u2019s really interesting. Sometimes, the more affluent\u2014the more money you have\u2014the pressure to overwork can even be exacerbated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to decide, as a couple\u2014first of all, this decision we just talked about: \u201cIs Mom going to work inside or outside the home?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, the Bible is silent on that. I think there are some principles around God is the head of man \/ man\u2019s the head of woman, and the idea of posterity that would speak into it; but the Bible doesn\u2019t say. Obviously, in an agrarian society, usually, the wife works right along with the husband; but now, we\u2019ve gone urban, which makes it more difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think it was ever designed to\u2014Mom and Dad get up and both of them take off in different directions\u2014but the Bible is silent on it. So, you, as a couple, just have to decide: \u201cIs Mom going to work outside the home or not?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the first decision. Let me just add a comment on that. The biggest thing we would encourage people to do is make sure you know what you\u2019re really making. Typically, we\u2019ve heard couples say, \u201cWell, we have to have that second income to make it.\u201d\u00a0 That is <em>usually <\/em>not a true statement; because with the extra taxes \/ extra expenses, it\u2019s not near what you think. It may be a gross of 40 or 50 or 60; but when you start netting it down\u2014maybe, it\u2019s not helping as much as you think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the first decision: \u201cIs Mom going to work outside or not?\u201d Then, with Dad, it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay; how am I going to try to get some balance in my life and not burn it at both ends?\u201d\u2014burn the candle at both ends\u2014interesting thing to wrestle through. I knew I\u2019d be in trouble when I\u2019d come home and Julie would say, \u201cHey, Russ, this is Clark, your son.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Well, that\u2019d be her kind of way of helping me realize\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Reintroduce; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>\u2014I\u2019d kind of been overworking. You know, we kind of go\u2014as you said, we ebb and flow and have cycles; but I would try to make sure I didn\u2019t have a lifetime, as you said, of being out of balance. I tried the best I could to have some balance. If I had some long nights or I was on a business trip, I\u2019d try to take some time off; but that was Julie\u2019s subtle way of letting me know: \u201cHey, Buster, you haven\u2019t been around very much.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s a <em>critical<\/em> decision\u2014I think two things: \u201cDon\u2019t think that just working hard is going to make you more money,\u201d and try to do some balance\u2014and then, decide on that second income\u2014whether or not the spouse is going to work outside the home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I know there is another issue that comes to bear on this question of: \u201cHow much are we going to work?\u201d and that\u2019s the issue of debt. We\u2019re not going to talk about that right now\u2014we will talk about it later\u2014but a lot of couples are getting married today with so much debt from education that they\u2019re making a determination about how soon they\u2019ll be able to have children, how many they\u2019ll be able to have, and really, what the course is going to be for their marriage and family for the next decade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need to address that subject of debt. I think most couples need to have a dialogue, Bob, around these questions we\u2019re talking about here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the conversations you guys point couples to in the book, <em>8 Important Money Decisions for Every Couple<\/em>, relates to this issue of debt. I would encourage our listeners, \u201cGet a copy of this book and have these conversations so that you don\u2019t get blindsided later by realizing you were thinking differently about money and credit, and your future, and savings and giving.\u201d These are the kinds of conversations that are explored in this book; and you get good, biblical guidance on how to resolve some of these issues. Again, the title of the book is <em>8 Important Money Decisions for Every Couple<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order by going online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of the discussions that couples have to have around the subject of money is the whole question of generosity. In fact, I remember talking to a couple once and they were not on the same page. He felt very justified in giving money to help support the missionary who had made the presentation at church on a Sunday night. His wife was not at all happy with that decision; because she knew about bills that had to be paid, and she knew how much money there was in the checking account. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife, we are committed to providing couples with practical biblical guidance \/ help and hope so that you can address issues like this, and so that you can pursue oneness in your marriage, and so that your family can thrive in the process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s our goal\u2014we want to see every home a godly home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who, through your financial giving, make it possible for what we\u2019re doing here to reach more people. Every time you give, you open a new door for us to take the content of this ministry and expose it to folks, not only in this country, but all around the world. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the month of May, we are attempting to raise $1.1 million\u2014money that\u2019s need for us to be able to continue forward with a number of projects that are underway, here, at FamilyLife. And we\u2019ve had some matching funds that have been made available to help encourage people to donate this month. You can find out more about the matching-gift fund when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate while you\u2019re online; or you can call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about debt, and about generosity, and all kinds of other money-related issues. Russ and Julie Crosson will be with us again. We hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:42"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.27M"],"filesize_raw":["27548548"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304510.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304510.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Julie Crosson live a balanced life when it comes to their checkbook. They learned early on to resist impulse buying through planned spending, and encourage couples to follow their lead.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Russ and Julie Crosson join us today to talk about how God changed their hearts on lots of things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like submission and like money. We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Let me see if you agree with this guy\u2014a guy writes: \u201cMy experience in working with couples for nearly four decades tells me couples, starting out their marriage today, are in need of training about how to approach the issues of money. Most people seem to be biblically illiterate when it comes to that subject.\u201d Do you agree with that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course, I agree with that statement\u2014I wrote it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You did write it. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s the foreword to a book called <em>8 Important Money Decisions for Every Couple<\/em>. Russ Crosson joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Russ, welcome back. Julie, welcome back, as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Thanks, Dennis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Good to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Glad you guys are here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRuss has worked in the area of financial planning all the way back to 1980. He is currently the President and CEO of Ronald Blue &amp; Company in Atlanta, Georgia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this book is filled with all kinds of questions that you think couples need to work through. One of them that I get asked all the time\u2014that I want you to tackle\u2014because this just puts the cookies right on the lower shelf: \u201cWho should pay the bills?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You mean, \u201cWho writes the checks?\u201d\u00a0 Is that what you\u2019re asking?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \u201cWho writes the checks?\u201d\u00a0 Well, it may not be a check anymore, Bob; because you can go online to pay your bills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWho does the\u201d\u2014yes\u2014\u201cthe electronic bill paying?\u201d\u2014okay. So, who should?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, it kind of depends. [Laughter]\u00a0 Do you like that answer?\u00a0 Let\u2019s start off with answering that with\u2014ultimately, because of what the Scripture says about the man is to provide for his family\u2014it\u2019s up to the husband to make sure there is enough income coming in to make sure that the expenses can all be made. Now, when you get down to who is actually going to pay the utilities, pay the mortgage, buy groceries\u2014whatever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, now, you start opening up some other issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could have the wife pay all the bills and the husband is on allowance. We see that sometimes\u2014he gets an allowance every month, and she takes care of the bills. Sometimes, the husband pays all the bills; and the wife\u2019s got some for groceries and allowance. That can be driven by temperament \/ it can be driven by personality. So, all those things have to be factored in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor Julie and I\u2014we have what\u2019s called assigned accountability. We\u2019ve set the budget. There are a few things she is responsible for, and we\u2019ve agreed about that at the front of the year. So, she\u2019ll pay those bills. Then, I pay everything else. There was a time where I thought I was going to exercise my leadership and \u201cWhat if something happened to me?\u201d\u2014I was going to let her pay all the bills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, I thought that\u2019d be a good idea\u2014you know, let her pay them all one month and see how that went. Oh my! It was\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Refresh our listeners how she used to handle the checkbook. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, when I met Julie, I got the checkbook and looked at it\u2014you know\u2014when two become one \/ you get married\u2014you\u2019ve got to merge your financial lives. I looked at her checkbook, and there were never any balances. It was just expenses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just a record of\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>And I said, \u201cWhat is this?\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cWell, I know there is enough money in there.\u201d So, she didn\u2019t even bother to kind of: \u201cLet\u2019s see how much money was in there.\u201d\u00a0 She just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She was not into subtracting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>No; she was not into subtracting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Didn\u2019t like to subtract. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, I don\u2019t know\u2014a few years into our marriage, I thought: \u201cI need to be a leader here. I need to let her pay the bills so she\u2019d know how to do it if something happened to me.\u201d\u00a0 About one month of that was all I could handle\u2014[Laughter]\u2014because I didn\u2019t know if she was subtracting in it. I didn\u2019t know what was really going on\u2014I\u2019m not sure she knew. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>No. My thinking is: \u201cIf you\u2019re [$]400 to the good or bad, it really doesn\u2019t matter. It will all wash out in the end next time.\u201d\u00a0 So\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s really not a gifting area for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>No\u2014no; because, to me, \u201cWhy should I stress out over that when probably I just added or subtracted wrong?\u201d He likes it down to the penny. So, you can understand his distress. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, back to this issue, \u201cWho pays the bills?\u201d\u00a0 The husband is responsible to make sure there is enough money there. You\u2019ve just got to work it out. For Julie and I\u2014it\u2019s been great in the fact that she\u2019s got areas of responsibility that she pays. I don\u2019t have to worry about it\u2014she\u2019s got it. Then, I\u2019ve got the rest of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I gave her 100 percent of it, I was stressed out. So, I had to take some of it back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Well, and I will say, in my defense, I do love our system; because I do have areas of accountability that\u2014he gives me a certain amount for groceries, and for children\u2019s clothes, and health, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Which, by the way, I didn\u2019t give her those amounts. Early on, one of the mistakes couples make is the husband sets the budget for areas he has no idea what they should be. So, obviously, those amounts, she had\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, [$]12.50 a month for the\u2014and I\u2019m talking about $12.50 for the kids\u2019 clothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s not going to work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>So, she sets those amounts. I mean\u2014so that\u2019s where part of the communication comes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>But there was a verse that Russ did show, and I didn\u2019t realize it was in the Bible. It\u2019s Proverbs 27:23\u2014says, \u201cKnow well the condition of your flocks and herds.\u201d\u00a0 Well, back then, obviously, they did not have bank accounts. I realized I needed to know where my money was going, and I need to be controlled and know the condition of my finances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we decided to do the accountability, I really actually loved it; because, as I subtracted through the month, I knew right where I was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew there wouldn\u2019t be any surprises. So, it actually turned out to be something I <em>liked<\/em> a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, Julie, I\u2019m going to ask you to comment on this; but I want, first of all, Russ to defend the statement. You\u2019ve made this statement, now, twice in this conversation\u2014that some of our listeners have had the hair on the back of their necks stand up about. You probably know what it is. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Russ: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you\u2019ve made this statement\u2014it\u2019s based on a premise that the husband needs to determine how much money the family needs to have coming in and to manage from that amount. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, Scripture\u20141Timothy 5:8: \u201cHe who does not provide for his own is worse than an infidel.\u201d\u00a0 Okay; so, it\u2019s pretty clear in Scripture that man has been given the responsibility to provide the income for the\u2014to make sure enough is coming in. And that\u2019s my context of this discussion, Dennis\u2014is that he is responsible to provide for the family. The Bible doesn\u2019t say the wife is responsible to provide for the family. The husband is responsible to provide for the family. That\u2019s the context. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, once the money comes in, how it gets allocated should be a joint mutually-agreed-upon decision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; so, the guy who says: \u201cMy wife\u2019s a doc \/ she\u2019s a physician. I\u2019m a carpenter. Here\u2014I\u2019m responsible for it coming in. We\u2019ve decided, together, the way I\u2019m going to fulfill my responsibility is\u2014she\u2019s going to go be a doctor and will make four times as much money as I\u2019ll ever make as a carpenter.\u201d\u00a0 Is that okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>That\u2019s a real interesting question; because, now, you get into the whole roles and potential role reversal and things like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll just tell a story. I had a young lady call the office\u2014she was 20-and-a-half years old. She says, \u201cHey, I need to come in and see you guys.\u201d\u00a0 She came in; and she says, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m getting ready to get married here in about a year. I\u2019m turning 21 in six months. When I turn 21, I\u2019m going to be a recipient of all this trust money.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget what she said\u2014she says, \u201cRuss, I don\u2019t want to have happen to me what I saw happen to my mother and my grandmother\u2014who didn\u2019t really need a man, you know, to provide.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWell, here\u2019s what we\u2019re going to do.\u201d\u00a0 We designed a plan to live off of his income so he felt good about that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he was providing. With the trust money and all that, we used that for some really significant generous giving. That\u2019s always stuck with me; because what she was really saying was: \u201cI\u2019ve watched when the wife has either inherited wealth or makes more money\u201d\u2014your doctor illustration\u2014\u201cwhat that can do to the man\u2019s psyche.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not here saying that she shouldn\u2019t be a doctor, and they shouldn\u2019t figure out how to make it work; but this is uncovering a whole lot of other issues about roles; okay?\u00a0 In the book, we talk about the purpose of marriage is to model correct roles. That\u2019s why it\u2019s kind of interesting. I mean, early on, Julie made more money than I did\u2014I was \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta teacher\/ she was a nurse anesthetist. I didn\u2019t really like the way that <em>felt<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>\u2014because, down deep, I felt like: \u201cI should be doing this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know there will be some listeners that will disagree with that; but I think, if you really have a heart-to-heart talk about it and go back to the Scripture on who is responsible\u2014God is the head of man \/ man is the head of woman. You know, we see that in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 11:3. But the doctor and the carpenter\u2014that\u2019s an interesting conundrum. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, your advice, back to Bob\u2019s illustration, what would you say to that couple?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>I would say that there are all kinds of other issues, you know: \u201cWhat are you going to do, long term, when you have kids and all that kind of stuff?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s very tempting to say, \u201cHey, we\u2019re both going to work,\u201d or the husband is maybe going to stay home; but, \u201cWhat are you going to be modeling?\u201d\u00a0 That would be one of the questions I would ask that couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve got some radio programs with Dennis Rainey\u2014you might want to listen to because he\u2019s tackled this subject with folks. [Laughter] We can\u2019t be categorical\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and say, \u201cHere is the absolute answer for every couple.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But there are some important questions, just as you\u2019ve said, that every couple needs to pray through, consider, get wise counsel, and look at what the Scriptures have to say. In general, what I\u2019ve heard you say, Dennis, is that Russ is right\u2014there is something in the heart and soul of a man\u2014if he is abdicating the provision responsibility for his family, it\u2019s not going to go well in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and if it\u2019s just a season, that may be one thing;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but if it\u2019s over a lifetime, I\u2019ve seen some situations that have not ended up pretty. In fact, divorce has occurred there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to come back to you, Julie. You started this marriage out\u2014you said you had some leanings in the direction of feminism. How did this go down for you\u2014married to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthis man who believes he\u2019s responsible for your financial position in your marriage and family?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Julie: <\/strong>Well, actually, I got that solved <em>before<\/em> I married him; because it would not have gone well had I not. [Laughter] When we met, I was into the feminism-thing, where: \u201cI don\u2019t want children. I don\u2019t want a family. I don\u2019t want to get married,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m not ever going to submit to a man and say, \u2018What would you like to do with the money, dear?\u2019\u201d\u2014that just wasn\u2019t going to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what happened was\u2014as we dated, I would say things to him like: \u201cI don\u2019t like the way you spend money,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t like\u2026\u201d\u2014I mean, I was pretty honest with him; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Mean to me would be a better word. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Okay; I was\u2014yes; I was. But as it progressed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014my dad actually liked him and would say, \u201cHe\u2019s head and shoulders above the rest,\u201d because I\u2019d say to Dad\u2014who never liked anybody I brought home\u2014I\u2019d say, \u201cI think I\u2019m ready to move on.\u201d He\u2019d say, \u201cNo; I really\u2014this guy\u2019s head and shoulders above the rest.\u201d So, it was like: \u201cI better get rid of him, because I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> getting married; and I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> having children; and I\u2019m not going to be poor.\u201d\u00a0 I really\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What caused you to change, then?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>God is in the business of changing hearts. That is just <em>amazing<\/em> to me, because I had made up my mind to the point of doing something\u2014having surgery and doing something permanent to never be able to have children\u2014because \u201cThat would ruin my career.\u201d But as we kept dating and\u2014he just kept loving me. One of the things that he finally\u2014a month later, [he] asked me to marry him. I said, \u201cNo way. No; no.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWell, if you change your mind, call me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, there was one point where I asked Dad; I figured\u2014my dad and I were very close\u2014I said, \u201cDad, if I sat down and said, \u2018Would you give me your blessing, 100 percent, to marry Russ; would you?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I just knew he would say, \u201cUh-uh.\u201d\u00a0 My dad\u2019s a man of few words\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014sat there and nodded his head, very slowly, up and down. I went: \u201cOh, dear! I\u2019ve got to get rid of him!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, I knew\u2014I knew that Russ would not tolerate certain things\u2014his thing is smoking and drinking\u2014and he has real strong convictions about both of those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what did I do? I went to him the next week and said: \u201cI\u2019m going to take these national boards for anesthesia. Afterwards, I\u2019m going to go out\u2014we\u2019re going to smoke, and we\u2019re going to drink. I\u2019m going to do everything you can\u2019t tolerate.\u201d\u00a0 He goes, \u201cYou know, if you do that, I won\u2019t date you anymore.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOh well!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat Wednesday\u2014we\u2019re going to take the boards on Friday\u2014Wednesday, my heart changed. By the time he got home\u2014I no longer wanted to. When he came down the driveway\u2014which I thought I\u2019d never see him again\u2014he came down \/ he said, \u201cI want to know what you decided to do,\u201d because I knew he was going to leave if I had decided\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cWell, God changed my heart. I decided not to.\u201d I liken it to Jacob wrestling with the angel. God kept waking me up; and I\u2019m a sound sleeper\u2014so, I don\u2019t wake up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, after this continuous wrestling, it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat\u2019s the problem?\u201d I was so confused. The verse about God\u2019s not the author of confusion popped into my mind. So, I said, \u201cWell, if I\u2019m confused, what\u2019s my sin?\u201d\u00a0 What popped up was\u2014I did not trust God for my finances. I didn\u2019t feel like God could take care of me, and I also didn\u2019t trust God with submission. I felt like it was a <em>terrible<\/em> thing. If God had asked me, I would have <em>never <\/em>come up with that idea\u2014where I had to submit to a man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, finally, I told the Lord: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m going to give You submission. I\u2019m going to give You finances. And I\u2019ll marry this guy,\u201d because I began to realize he had everything I\u2019d ever prayed for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>People ask, \u201cWas Julie always submissive?\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cfitting in?\u201d\u00a0 No; she had to wrestle with God on that issue, and it was four nights\u2014it was a Thursday when you told me. So, from Sunday to Thursday, she was driving a stake in the ground: \u201cWas she going to trust God or not?\u201d When she said, \u201cYes,\u201d that\u2019s when she decided to fit into my plans. Then, I take her\u2014a few months later, we move across the country \/ cut our income\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she quits working. And so, that\u2019s how\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you put her right to the test on: \u201cAm I really going to trust God with this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Right to the test. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Absolutely. Well, and I wanted to come back to something that I think, Bob, you said with the wife as a doctor and the husband as a carpenter. One of the things I\u2019m seeing, with a lot of the gals that we work with and stuff, is that so many people\u2014they take the numbers, and they live by that. Because she makes [$]200,000, then, it\u2019s like, \u201cWe <em>have<\/em> to live on that,\u201d rather than looking at eternity and \u201cWhat\u2019s best for the husband?\u201d\u2014which is what this gal did that Russ talked about\u2014\u201cWhat\u2019s the best thing for the <em>husband<\/em> to feel good about leading his family?\u201d rather than letting the tail wag the dog, which to me is\u2014the fact that she makes so much money is <em>not<\/em> a good reason for her to be the provider. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, I think we need to take an eternal perspective. We\u2019re only here about 85 years: \u201cIs this really the best decision?\u201d\u00a0 Yes; it may mean living pretty tight, but God doesn\u2019t have a problem with living tight. He has no problem with gifting and doing incredible miracles if we let Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think there is just a caution there\u2014to make sure that you don\u2019t let the numbers drive the family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>And Julie said a key thing there\u2014that we\u2019ve gotten caught up in this lifestyle, and where we live, and what it looks like. And guess what?\u00a0 Our kids don\u2019t really care. They just care that Mom and Dad are living a biblical lifestyle and that they are around. I think we forget, sometimes, that there is a much bigger issue going on here\u2014that\u2019s our godly legacy \/ our godly posterity that we\u2019re pouring into. Money can\u2014you know, if both spouses are working or, you know, the roles are reversed or whatever\u2014there are long-term implications for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know it\u2019s not popular, Dennis. You said it earlier, and I know people\u2019s hairs are probably standing up; but I would just challenge people: \u201cGet in the Word, and look at it\u2014even look at some experiences\u2014look at older couples and get their counsel. Get mentors.\u201d\u00a0 I think you\u2019ll find\u2014that the more closely a marriage is aligned with what God\u2019s Word says the better. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your kids may grouse about: \u201cWhy can\u2019t we afford this?\u201d or \u201cWhy can\u2019t we have that?\u201d and \u201cAll the other kids have got this\u201d\u2019; but at the end of the day, healthy relationships are what your kids are going to look back on and value and what\u2019s going to keep you connected, as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when your kids are 30, they\u2019re not going to look back and say, \u201cThe thing that made my childhood miserable was we weren\u2019t allowed to have a Game Boy<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or a PS7\u201d\u2014or whatever the new one is on the\u2014you know?\u00a0 They are going to look back and go: \u201cWe were a close family\u201d; and that\u2019s what\u2019s going to matter, at the end of the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I still have to go back\u2014the electric bill: \u201cDo you write the check for the electric bill, or does she write the check for the electric bill?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>I write it. She only has responsibility for groceries, miscellaneous, and an allowance\u2014I think are your categories now. So, I\u2019ve got everything else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You write the check for the electric bill or does Barbara?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary Ann\u2019s written the check for the electric bill for decades at our house; okay?\u00a0 And that way the electricity is always on at our house. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Yes, you would\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And we\u2019ve found that that\u2019s a good thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>I would agree with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>\u2014like I said earlier, Bob, you seem like the personality\u2014you\u2019d probably forget until you froze. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just have other things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014that I would\u2014yes\u2014prioritize ahead. I wouldn\u2019t forget \/ well, maybe, I would. Okay; never mind!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Now, our middle son is that way\u2014his wife does [pay the electric bill], because she is very detailed\u2014but he\u2019s like: \u201cIs there somebody out there I can talk to?\u00a0 Oh, well\u2026\u201d and forget to pay the bills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>So, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, your book is made up of eight questions. We only got to one here; but I\u2019ve got to sneak this one in, because I have a real bias about this question. And it\u2019s\u2014the question is: \u201cHow <em>much<\/em> should we work?\u201d\u00a0 I really like the way you have phrased that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Psalm 127:2 says: \u201cIt\u2019s vain to get up early and retire late and eat the bread of painful labor, for the Lord gives His beloved even in his sleep.\u201d\u00a0 And the tendency is to over-work and think, \u201cThe harder I work\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Say that verse again, but say it a little more slowly; will you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>Psalm 127:2: \u201cIt\u2019s vain to get up early and retire late and eat the bread of painful labor, for the Lord gives to His beloved even in his sleep.\u201d\u00a0 Okay; so, this idea of balance. There is no net good that results from the artificial prolonging of the day, at either end. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe tendency is to think, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m just going to work harder and make more money,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s money-driven. The reality is\u2014especially, if I\u2019m a young couple \/ have young kids\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve got to try to get some balance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd here is where it gets interesting, Dennis. The blue collar jobs, in many cases, allow for more family time than the white collar jobs. You know, if you are in a job that you could\u2014a little more time will make more money\u2014the tendency is you can get trapped into this: \u201cI\u2019m just going to do one more deal,\u201d \u201c\u2026make one more call,\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201c\u2026see one more person.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why it\u2019s interesting\u2014you ever wonder why, sometimes, the blue collar folks\u2014they\u2019ve got time to go, you know, they\u2019ve got the bass boat, and they can go fishing \/ spend time with their kids on Saturday? It\u2019s really interesting. Sometimes, the more affluent\u2014the more money you have\u2014the pressure to overwork can even be exacerbated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to decide, as a couple\u2014first of all, this decision we just talked about: \u201cIs Mom going to work inside or outside the home?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, the Bible is silent on that. I think there are some principles around God is the head of man \/ man\u2019s the head of woman, and the idea of posterity that would speak into it; but the Bible doesn\u2019t say. Obviously, in an agrarian society, usually, the wife works right along with the husband; but now, we\u2019ve gone urban, which makes it more difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think it was ever designed to\u2014Mom and Dad get up and both of them take off in different directions\u2014but the Bible is silent on it. So, you, as a couple, just have to decide: \u201cIs Mom going to work outside the home or not?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the first decision. Let me just add a comment on that. The biggest thing we would encourage people to do is make sure you know what you\u2019re really making. Typically, we\u2019ve heard couples say, \u201cWell, we have to have that second income to make it.\u201d\u00a0 That is <em>usually <\/em>not a true statement; because with the extra taxes \/ extra expenses, it\u2019s not near what you think. It may be a gross of 40 or 50 or 60; but when you start netting it down\u2014maybe, it\u2019s not helping as much as you think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the first decision: \u201cIs Mom going to work outside or not?\u201d Then, with Dad, it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay; how am I going to try to get some balance in my life and not burn it at both ends?\u201d\u2014burn the candle at both ends\u2014interesting thing to wrestle through. I knew I\u2019d be in trouble when I\u2019d come home and Julie would say, \u201cHey, Russ, this is Clark, your son.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Well, that\u2019d be her kind of way of helping me realize\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Reintroduce; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Julie: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Russ: <\/strong>\u2014I\u2019d kind of been overworking. You know, we kind of go\u2014as you said, we ebb and flow and have cycles; but I would try to make sure I didn\u2019t have a lifetime, as you said, of being out of balance. I tried the best I could to have some balance. If I had some long nights or I was on a business trip, I\u2019d try to take some time off; but that was Julie\u2019s subtle way of letting me know: \u201cHey, Buster, you haven\u2019t been around very much.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s a <em>critical<\/em> decision\u2014I think two things: \u201cDon\u2019t think that just working hard is going to make you more money,\u201d and try to do some balance\u2014and then, decide on that second income\u2014whether or not the spouse is going to work outside the home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I know there is another issue that comes to bear on this question of: \u201cHow much are we going to work?\u201d and that\u2019s the issue of debt. We\u2019re not going to talk about that right now\u2014we will talk about it later\u2014but a lot of couples are getting married today with so much debt from education that they\u2019re making a determination about how soon they\u2019ll be able to have children, how many they\u2019ll be able to have, and really, what the course is going to be for their marriage and family for the next decade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need to address that subject of debt. I think most couples need to have a dialogue, Bob, around these questions we\u2019re talking about here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the conversations you guys point couples to in the book, <em>8 Important Money Decisions for Every Couple<\/em>, relates to this issue of debt. I would encourage our listeners, \u201cGet a copy of this book and have these conversations so that you don\u2019t get blindsided later by realizing you were thinking differently about money and credit, and your future, and savings and giving.\u201d These are the kinds of conversations that are explored in this book; and you get good, biblical guidance on how to resolve some of these issues. Again, the title of the book is <em>8 Important Money Decisions for Every Couple<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order by going online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of the discussions that couples have to have around the subject of money is the whole question of generosity. In fact, I remember talking to a couple once and they were not on the same page. He felt very justified in giving money to help support the missionary who had made the presentation at church on a Sunday night. His wife was not at all happy with that decision; because she knew about bills that had to be paid, and she knew how much money there was in the checking account. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife, we are committed to providing couples with practical biblical guidance \/ help and hope so that you can address issues like this, and so that you can pursue oneness in your marriage, and so that your family can thrive in the process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s our goal\u2014we want to see every home a godly home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who, through your financial giving, make it possible for what we\u2019re doing here to reach more people. Every time you give, you open a new door for us to take the content of this ministry and expose it to folks, not only in this country, but all around the world. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the month of May, we are attempting to raise $1.1 million\u2014money that\u2019s need for us to be able to continue forward with a number of projects that are underway, here, at FamilyLife. And we\u2019ve had some matching funds that have been made available to help encourage people to donate this month. You can find out more about the matching-gift fund when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate while you\u2019re online; or you can call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us again tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about debt, and about generosity, and all kinds of other money-related issues. Russ and Julie Crosson will be with us again. We hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304510"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304510"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304510"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304510"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}