{"id":304486,"date":"2017-05-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-05-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/gods-design-for-sexuality\/"},"modified":"2017-05-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-05-02T15:00:00","slug":"gods-design-for-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-design-for-sexuality\/","title":{"rendered":"God&#8217;s Design for Sexuality"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ray Ortlund says God was intentional when\u00a0He made two distinct genders. He created us male and female not just for reproduction but for the whole purpose of love and romance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:54","filesize":"24.63M","filesize_raw":"25821937","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805,2862],"tags":[6240,5933,2877,6239],"podcast_series":[8206],"cwp_profile":[9452],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304486","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-understanding-differences","tag-genesis","tag-male-and-female","tag-marriage","tag-mystery-of-the-gospel","podcast_series-marriage-the-mystery-of-the-gospel","cwp_profile-ray-ortlund","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304486\/gods-design-for-sexuality","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304486\/gods-design-for-sexuality","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"iwS1fL80Yw\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-design-for-sexuality\/\">God&#8217;s Design for Sexuality<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-design-for-sexuality\/embed\/#?secret=iwS1fL80Yw\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;God&#8217;s Design for Sexuality&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"iwS1fL80Yw\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you want your marriage to thrive\u2014to be all that God intends for it to be? Pastor Ray Ortlund says, \u201cIf so, it\u2019s time to quit posing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Marriage actually relaxes and becomes kind of a fun adventure together when we just admit the truth and just own up with each other and get honest. Let\u2019s not\u2014<a id=\"_Hlk479632113\">I need to say to Jani: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry I must be\u2014I\u2019m a disappointment to you. I know <em>that<\/em>. Let me admit that to you. I\u2019m <em>so sorry<\/em>. What would please you? How can I be a better husband for you?\u201d Then, she very sweetly speaks to me that way. How can that not work?<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How would your marriage be different if there was a little more transparency between the two of you? We\u2019ll spend some time exploring that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I was thinking I should let our listeners know that we\u2019ll be out near the deep end of the pool today. But we\u2019re out there with somebody who knows how to navigate you through the deep end so that you don\u2019t\u2014you don\u2019t need to panic; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. Well, this is not only a lifeguard, but he\u2019s also a shepherd. He shepherds a local flock in Nashville, Tennessee. Ray Ortlund joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back Ray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>It\u2019s a privilege to be here. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He is pastor of the Immanuel Church in Nashville and has written a book called <em>Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRay, I just want to talk about this generation of young people\u2014that, really, the last two or three decades has produced, coming off the college campus\u2014that seem to be taking issue and questioning God\u2019s original design for three things: Number one, first of all, the definition of sexuality and of gender; secondly, the definition of marriage; and third, the definition and responsibilities of husbands and wives within the marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a generation\u2014I think, Ray, as never before\u2014needs a book like yours, just to go back to the biblical blueprints and see what was in God\u2019s mind, originally, when He made marriage and family. That\u2019s really why you wrote the book; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. What we don\u2019t understand today, as clearly as we used to, is that, when we enter into life, we\u2019re entering into a pre-created reality. We\u2019re not making reality up as we go along. We\u2019re walking <em>into<\/em> a template that exists and is marked. For example, the whole Book of Proverbs is all about how God actually made things to work. When we set that aside, it\u2019s like trying to get healthy on junk food. It\u2019s like cutting against the grain and trying to create beauty. It\u2019s like trying to find our way home, but we\u2019re on the wrong road. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason why it doesn\u2019t work is that it <em>can\u2019t<\/em> work. Reality was designed by God, <em>and<\/em> that includes human sexuality. God is not sorry He made us sexual. God is not embarrassed that He created our bodies. He is not awkward about the fact that we\u2019re male\/female\u2014we\u2019re sexual beings. He isn\u2019t wishing He\u2019d never thought of this. He\u2019s not looking for an escape plan. He doesn\u2019t delete our sexuality\u2014He <em>redeems<\/em> our sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In fact, Ray, don\u2019t you think God was very intentional, as He begins the Bible, making it clear He made two distinct sexes, male and female, to reflect who He is to what would ultimately become a fallen earth?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> That is <em>very<\/em> significant in my mind, Dennis. He created us male and female, not just for purposes of reproduction \/ it\u2019s not just about plumbing and so forth. God created us male and female for the whole purpose of <em>romance<\/em>, and love, and coming together in the union of marriage; because we have parachuted into a universe where ultimate reality is romance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Romance came down from above. God is a romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And people are trying to define romance without having the original Creator at the table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> It\u2019s not sustainable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> People are trying to say that their definition of romance\u2014it trumps whatever we claim God\u2019s definition of romance is. There is a generation, Ray\u2014that is not sure that our argument holds water. If you\u2019re sitting down with a group of 20-year-olds today and you\u2019re saying, \u201cGod made gender; and it\u2019s obvious, biologically,\u201d they say, \u201cWell no; it\u2019s really in my mind.\u201d If you say, \u201cGod made us male and female for the purpose of romance,\u201d they say, \u201cWell, two men can love each other \/ two women can love each other.\u201d How do you bring a biblical framework to a culture that says, \u201cWe get to decide\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>Well, the sexual revolution is <em>very<\/em> effective and <em>very<\/em> successful in its propaganda. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not here, as Christians, to say to anybody, \u201cI told you so,\u201d when they find themselves experiencing the <em>pain<\/em> on the other side of the sexual revolution. We\u2019re not here to point the finger. I\u2019m a sexual sinner. I became a sexual sinner when I entered puberty. If sin were the color blue, everything about me would be, at least, some tint of blue. It\u2019s just running through my veins\u2014I can\u2019t escape it! I\u2019m not a sexual sinner in the sense that I\u2019m living in an adulterous relationship. Sin just touches everything that I am all the time. Right now, as I\u2019m speaking, that\u2019s how pervasive it is. So, I can\u2019t look at anybody else and say, \u201cI\u2019m better than you are.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I can\u2019t look at anybody else and say, \u201cI would never do that.\u201d Of course, I would do it. Every sin I\u2019ve ever seen, I\u2019ve either thought about or I felt that kind of impulse, at some level. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we\u2019re all in this together\u2014we\u2019re all cut out of the same bolt of cloth. We\u2019re not here to be above anybody else. We are here to receive the wounded from the sexual revolution and welcome them into our churches \/ welcome them into our homes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014as fellow sinners and sufferers and bring them to Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If anyone in this culture has a welcome mat that works, it ought to be the church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Amen. I really believe that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because our Savior died for broken people to redeem them from the penalty of sin and to bring them into a right relationship with God and with one another. People are looking today for companionship\u2014they\u2019re looking for community.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, the reason we\u2019re in the place we\u2019re in today is the same reason that Adam and Eve wound up in the place that they wound up\u2014is a lie sounded good\u2014they said, \u201cLet\u2019s try that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re in the same place because people have stood up and said: \u201cWhat the Bible says is repressive. What the Bible says isn\u2019t fully human. Here\u2019s the right way to live your sexuality out. Here\u2019s the right way to express your love for one another.\u201d We\u2019ve all kind of said, \u201cWell, that sounds good.\u201d Now, we\u2019re outside the Garden as a result; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. In this area of human sexuality\u2014manhood, and womanhood, and so forth\u2014the brokenness in that area of life is <em>so<\/em> personal and so tenderly felt \/ there\u2019s so much shame involved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> We can suppress for a while, but it\u2019s really\u2014there is deep pain. I think we, as representatives of Jesus\u2014He was so tender with sexual sinners, and He was so <em>severe<\/em> with the Pharisees. He said to the woman caught in the very act of adultery: \u201cNeither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe gave her her life back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, there are listening to us, people who are carrying around regret \/ they\u2019re carrying around shame. They\u2019re thinking: \u201cWhy did I do that? If only I could relive that moment.\u201d I think what all three of us would want to say to them: \u201cThere is a friend on high who understands. He is not waiting to bring the hammer down on you. He just wants to put His arm around your shoulder. He\u2019s saying to you today, \u2018Tell Me everything and let Me help you.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think back to the story you told on an earlier broadcast of how you met your bride and how you popped the question. She said, \u201cLet me think about it.\u201d After she thought and prayed about it for 20 minutes, she said \u201cYes!\u201d Then months later, you began your journey together. What were some of the first lessons you remember learning, Ray?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh boy; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Again, just being honest and authentic\u2014this is where life makes up its mind. It is as two imperfect people begin the journey of marriage together. As you told me before we came in here, marriage is a profoundly powerful sanctifying tool. It points out our shortcomings and begins to help the image of Christ to emerge from our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Dennis, I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget a really poignant moment with Jani seven years in. I was so selfish. Guys, I never chose to be selfish; I just didn\u2019t know how not to be. It was just the reality\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Laughter] I was getting ready to correct you. Oh yes, you did\u2014you were always choosing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So, I was giving too much attention, and time, and emotion to everything <em>but<\/em> my family. I was taking <em>them<\/em> for granted. I was really excited about work. In fact, I was excited about ministry. I found more <em>significance<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m embarrassed to admit this\u2014I found more significance <em>outside<\/em> my home than with my wife and children that God had given me. I was so <em>oblivious<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJani had a significant conversation with me one day. She did not go into hysterics. She did not threaten, and she didn\u2019t yell at me. But she said very quietly and very calmly one day\u2014that\u2019s how I could listen \/ she flew in under my radar\u2014she said: \u201cThe children and I will always love you. We\u2019re not sure we\u2019ll always have you.\u201d That got my attention. In that moment, in God\u2019s mercy, the words landed on me precisely because she was gentle and respectful. I had no basis for pushing back. I <em>knew<\/em> she was right. I knew, in <em>that<\/em> moment, I had to rethink my life. I had to make some changes. In God\u2019s mercy, I did and we never looked back. It just got better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What about the guy, who is defensive, who\u2014his wife says that to him, he goes: \u201cWait! Let me show you my\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cmy calendar here. I\u2019m here. I\u2019m for you\u2014bringing home the bacon. I\u2019m taking care of you.\u201d I think a guy\u2019s ego gets in the way sometimes of his family\u2014and his accomplishments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Well, so many times in my life, Dennis, when I have <em>not<\/em> listened, it\u2019s because I needed to feel some more pain first that would help me listen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I wish this weren\u2019t true. Wouldn\u2019t it be great if we listened the first time, without more pain? But sometimes the <em>only<\/em> way I\u2019ll pay attention is if I suffer a little more. God, in His kindness, is willing to be patient and take us there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf a guy is listening right now, and he\u2019s thinking that, I would just say: \u201cYou can jeopardize everything that you\u2019re going to care about the most, 20 years from now. Or you can <em>invest<\/em> in those <em>very treasures<\/em> that you have in your hands right now; and 20 years from now, it\u2019s going to be great!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking with Ray Ortlund, who\u2019s written a book called <em>Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve always been fascinated, Ray, by the fact that the first thing that happens after Adam and Eve disobey God is that they start to turn on one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When God comes to Adam and says, \u201cWhat happened here?\u201d\u2014he throws Eve right under the bus and says, \u201cShe\u2019s the problem.\u201d Then he blames God, right on the backside of that: \u201cYou gave me a defective model.\u201d We\u2019re good at saying, \u201cI\u2019m not to blame here\u201d; aren\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. We\u2019re all really good at finger pointing. Isn\u2019t it amazing?\u2014the world is a mess, and it\u2019s nobody\u2019s fault. [Laughter] We\u2019re all so <em>righteous<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarriage actually relaxes and becomes kind of a fun adventure together when we just admit the truth, and just own up with each other and get honest. Let\u2019s not\u2014I need to say to Jani: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I must be\u2014I\u2019m a disappointment to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI <em>know<\/em> that. Let me admit that to you. I\u2019m <em>so sorry<\/em>. What would please you? How can I be a better husband for you?\u201d Then, she very sweetly speaks to me that way. How can that not work?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, Ray, you\u2019ve been married 45 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you ever had a dark season? I\u2019m not talking about a dark moment\u2014you\u2019ve had plenty of dark moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you ever had a dark season in your marriage and family?\u2014even in the midst of doing ministry, where you\u2019re leading a church\u2014doing great things for God \/ being used by Him\u2014where you were going home and it just was testing your covenant \/ testing your commitment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Ten years ago, right now, we were in a dark season; but in God\u2019s mercy, Dennis, Jani and I were allies together in it. We went through an <em>extremely<\/em> difficult season of personal suffering about ten years ago. If Jani had <em>not<\/em> been there for me, I don\u2019t think I could have made it through. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was incapable during that season\u2014it was not a moment, as you say \/ it was a season\u2014I was incapable of experiencing what we mean by the English word, encouragement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut with Jani\u2014what she brought to me during that time\u2014I was so <em>deeply<\/em> dependent upon her to an extent that was embarrassing \/ I\u2019m trying to make it up to her now. She\u2014by her encouragement, by her care, by her listening, by her patience, her gentleness \/ her sort of non-corrective presence\u2014at least, kept me from sinking lower. That was a <em>big<\/em> deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of our listeners, right now, are just going through <em>unbelievable<\/em> suffering. They are in the most <em>profound<\/em> anguish. That can be the greatest season in your entire marriage. That is when the <em>pressures<\/em> of life, the <em>buffetings<\/em> of life, and the <em>sufferings<\/em> of life can draw you together with a tenderness you\u2019ve never known before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us\u2014maybe our marriages are not as profound as they could be because life has been too good to us; but, when we suffer\u2014oh my goodness\u2014to have a partner, a friend, an ally when it seems as though the whole world is against us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But speak to this for a moment, because those same sufferings can build a <em>wedge<\/em> between a husband and a wife. And because we suffer differently, as male and female, and absorb challenges differently\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014we don\u2019t merge together \/ we can be <em>repelled<\/em> by one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>Yes. Something that Genesis, Chapter 3, has helped me understand \/ Genesis 2 <em>and<\/em> 3 has helped me understand is this\u2014inside every man\u2014I mean, God created Adam first and gave him a mission\u2014gave him a job to do \/ a mountain to climb. But we\u2019re all fallen men\u2014we\u2019re enfeebled with sin, and mortality, and weakness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInside every guy is a self-doubt that says: \u201cBut will I fulfill my mission? Am I man enough? Am I actually going to meet the challenge of my existence, or am I going to <em>fail<\/em>?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA wise wife will understand that self-doubt is <em>way<\/em> down inside her husband. She will, by her words and actions <em>every<\/em> day communicate: \u201cHoney, I believe in you. By God\u2019s grace, you can do this baby! I\u2019m for you.\u201d That confidence will breathe life into a man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInside a woman \/ a wife\u2014it\u2019s a different question. There\u2019s another kind of self-doubt. God created Eve <em>for<\/em> Adam. Inside that wife\u2019s heart is the question: \u201cWill he go the distance with me, or will he cast me off? Am I the one he really wants, or is he wishing he were married to somebody else?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bottom line\u2014she\u2019s wondering if she\u2019s loved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cWill you still love me tomorrow?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. A wise husband will understand that\u2019s just down there, inside his precious wife. He will want to spend his life speaking into that question \/ answering that question very gently and reassuringly every day by his actions and words, saying: \u201cOh babe, you\u2019re the one I want. I can\u2019t <em>imagine<\/em> my life without you. I\u2019m <em>excited<\/em> about the future, with us side by side. I want you so close to me.\u201d When a wife hears that reassurance from her husband, she feels <em>prized<\/em> \/ she feels <em>significant<\/em> because she is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a man experiences respect, he construes that \/ he experiences that as love. When a wife is prized and valued, she experiences that as love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to go back to your dark season though; because in the midst of it, you didn\u2019t have a lot of reserve to be pouring out much of anything toward Jani.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou were hobbled \/ you were emotionally wounded. <em>She<\/em> had to recognize, in the midst of that\u2014she was feeling pain herself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but she had to put her own pain aside and say, \u201cWhat\u2019s more important to me, in this moment, is that I love and serve my husband in the midst of his pain than I enter into and embrace my own pain.\u201d She kind of forgot about herself and loved you through it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just thinking of how many couples, in the midst of darkness, become so self-absorbed of what they\u2019re feeling, we forgot what the other persons feeling and how God\u2019s put us together to serve one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I think what Jani understood is that God Himself had sent her on a mission in life that <em>included<\/em> this season. God was not surprised by it. His plan was not knocked off course by this. She was not there by accident\u2014she was there on a mission, sent by the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was sustained by His grace, in order to sustain me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of ours, during that time, suggested something to us that meant <em>so much<\/em>\u2014it really worked. He said: \u201cAsk the Lord for a verse of Scripture \/ a promise that resonates with both of your hearts. Make that verse the theme of your life until you get out of all this mess.\u201d The Lord led us to 1 Peter 5:10: \u201cAnd after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you into His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.\u201d God used that verse to breathe hope into both of us. It totally worked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And ten years later, has the God of all comfort restored?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh my goodness. Well, as I was saying earlier guys, I\u2019m embarrassed at how kind God has been. He has absolutely <em>poured<\/em> out his <em>restoring<\/em> mercies on us. I feel so cared for \/ so thought about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is ridiculous\u2014I know I totally don\u2019t deserve this. God has been <em>so faithful<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think of couples, Dennis\u2014who, in the slough of despond,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014cannot see a future \/ they\u2019ve lost hope for a future. When, if they can just persevere, there\u2019s a bright day ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And a part of the bright day is two strong-willed, broken people humbling themselves before God in prayer. Just before I came in to the studio, I had a little conversation with Barbara. She was discouraged about a matter. We\u2019re not talking about a season here \/ we\u2019re talking about a moment; okay?\u00a0 I told her, in that phone conversation, \u201cLet\u2019s just pray here for a second.\u201d You could hear it in her voice\u2014it <em>brightened<\/em> at the end of the conversation, after we prayed together. I think we underestimate our need to take these small matters and large matters before God, when we find ourselves in dark moments or dark seasons so the perseverance\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Bob, that you spoke about\u2014has a chance to germinate and take root.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But that hope comes when we know the God who is the God of hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I love about the book you\u2019ve written, Ray\u2014is you keep pointing us in that direction\u2014understanding the goodness of God in the gift of marriage. The book Ray has written is called <em>Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel. <\/em>It\u2019s a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If you\u2019re interested in a copy, order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the book. Again, the website to order online is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, this is the time of year for a lot of families \/ a lot of our families, where things get busy. School is starting to wrap up. Graduation is coming up for seniors. There are summer trips, summer vacations, or maybe a summer job that\u2019s ahead for some of our children. This is just a time of the year when all of us find ourselves adjusting to a different season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, here, at FamilyLife, as we have been preparing for this time of year, one of the things we\u2019ve realized is we have a number of projects that are underway\u2014that in order for them to stay on track during the summer\u2014we need to ask our listeners to help us out during the month of May. We \u2018ve got a goal of trying to raise $1.1 million this month so that we can continue the work that has already begun on things like <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> video series that we\u2019re working on, some enhancements to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and work we\u2019re doing on our website and some of our digital platforms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn order for these projects to continue moving forward in the months ahead, we\u2019d like to ask you to make a donation today to help us reach this goal, in May, of $1.1 million that we\u2019re trying to raise. If you\u2019re able to give today, your gift is going to be doubled; because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have agreed that they will match the first $150,000 given toward this month-long goal. So, if you make a donation today, you\u2019ll be able to take advantage of the matching gift. We\u2019ll receive double the amount you give, thanks to your generosity. We\u2019ll be well on our way toward trying to reach that goal for the month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can donate by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Or if you prefer to mail your donation to us, you can do that as well. Our address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlease continue to pray for us during the month, that we\u2019ll be able to meet this goal and continue the work on the projects that are in front of us. We would appreciate that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we want to talk about the unique assignment that God gives husbands in marriage and the unique assignment that God gives to wives. And those assignments are different \/ they\u2019re distinct. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:54"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.63M"],"filesize_raw":["25821937"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304486.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304486.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Ortlund says God was intentional when\u00a0He made two distinct genders. He created us male and female not just for reproduction but for the whole purpose of love and romance.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-05-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you want your marriage to thrive\u2014to be all that God intends for it to be? Pastor Ray Ortlund says, \u201cIf so, it\u2019s time to quit posing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Marriage actually relaxes and becomes kind of a fun adventure together when we just admit the truth and just own up with each other and get honest. Let\u2019s not\u2014<a id=\"_Hlk479632113\">I need to say to Jani: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry I must be\u2014I\u2019m a disappointment to you. I know <em>that<\/em>. Let me admit that to you. I\u2019m <em>so sorry<\/em>. What would please you? How can I be a better husband for you?\u201d Then, she very sweetly speaks to me that way. How can that not work?<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How would your marriage be different if there was a little more transparency between the two of you? We\u2019ll spend some time exploring that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I was thinking I should let our listeners know that we\u2019ll be out near the deep end of the pool today. But we\u2019re out there with somebody who knows how to navigate you through the deep end so that you don\u2019t\u2014you don\u2019t need to panic; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. Well, this is not only a lifeguard, but he\u2019s also a shepherd. He shepherds a local flock in Nashville, Tennessee. Ray Ortlund joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Welcome back Ray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>It\u2019s a privilege to be here. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He is pastor of the Immanuel Church in Nashville and has written a book called <em>Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRay, I just want to talk about this generation of young people\u2014that, really, the last two or three decades has produced, coming off the college campus\u2014that seem to be taking issue and questioning God\u2019s original design for three things: Number one, first of all, the definition of sexuality and of gender; secondly, the definition of marriage; and third, the definition and responsibilities of husbands and wives within the marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a generation\u2014I think, Ray, as never before\u2014needs a book like yours, just to go back to the biblical blueprints and see what was in God\u2019s mind, originally, when He made marriage and family. That\u2019s really why you wrote the book; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. What we don\u2019t understand today, as clearly as we used to, is that, when we enter into life, we\u2019re entering into a pre-created reality. We\u2019re not making reality up as we go along. We\u2019re walking <em>into<\/em> a template that exists and is marked. For example, the whole Book of Proverbs is all about how God actually made things to work. When we set that aside, it\u2019s like trying to get healthy on junk food. It\u2019s like cutting against the grain and trying to create beauty. It\u2019s like trying to find our way home, but we\u2019re on the wrong road. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason why it doesn\u2019t work is that it <em>can\u2019t<\/em> work. Reality was designed by God, <em>and<\/em> that includes human sexuality. God is not sorry He made us sexual. God is not embarrassed that He created our bodies. He is not awkward about the fact that we\u2019re male\/female\u2014we\u2019re sexual beings. He isn\u2019t wishing He\u2019d never thought of this. He\u2019s not looking for an escape plan. He doesn\u2019t delete our sexuality\u2014He <em>redeems<\/em> our sexuality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In fact, Ray, don\u2019t you think God was very intentional, as He begins the Bible, making it clear He made two distinct sexes, male and female, to reflect who He is to what would ultimately become a fallen earth?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> That is <em>very<\/em> significant in my mind, Dennis. He created us male and female, not just for purposes of reproduction \/ it\u2019s not just about plumbing and so forth. God created us male and female for the whole purpose of <em>romance<\/em>, and love, and coming together in the union of marriage; because we have parachuted into a universe where ultimate reality is romance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Romance came down from above. God is a romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And people are trying to define romance without having the original Creator at the table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> It\u2019s not sustainable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> People are trying to say that their definition of romance\u2014it trumps whatever we claim God\u2019s definition of romance is. There is a generation, Ray\u2014that is not sure that our argument holds water. If you\u2019re sitting down with a group of 20-year-olds today and you\u2019re saying, \u201cGod made gender; and it\u2019s obvious, biologically,\u201d they say, \u201cWell no; it\u2019s really in my mind.\u201d If you say, \u201cGod made us male and female for the purpose of romance,\u201d they say, \u201cWell, two men can love each other \/ two women can love each other.\u201d How do you bring a biblical framework to a culture that says, \u201cWe get to decide\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>Well, the sexual revolution is <em>very<\/em> effective and <em>very<\/em> successful in its propaganda. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not here, as Christians, to say to anybody, \u201cI told you so,\u201d when they find themselves experiencing the <em>pain<\/em> on the other side of the sexual revolution. We\u2019re not here to point the finger. I\u2019m a sexual sinner. I became a sexual sinner when I entered puberty. If sin were the color blue, everything about me would be, at least, some tint of blue. It\u2019s just running through my veins\u2014I can\u2019t escape it! I\u2019m not a sexual sinner in the sense that I\u2019m living in an adulterous relationship. Sin just touches everything that I am all the time. Right now, as I\u2019m speaking, that\u2019s how pervasive it is. So, I can\u2019t look at anybody else and say, \u201cI\u2019m better than you are.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I can\u2019t look at anybody else and say, \u201cI would never do that.\u201d Of course, I would do it. Every sin I\u2019ve ever seen, I\u2019ve either thought about or I felt that kind of impulse, at some level. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we\u2019re all in this together\u2014we\u2019re all cut out of the same bolt of cloth. We\u2019re not here to be above anybody else. We are here to receive the wounded from the sexual revolution and welcome them into our churches \/ welcome them into our homes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> \u2014as fellow sinners and sufferers and bring them to Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If anyone in this culture has a welcome mat that works, it ought to be the church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Amen. I really believe that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because our Savior died for broken people to redeem them from the penalty of sin and to bring them into a right relationship with God and with one another. People are looking today for companionship\u2014they\u2019re looking for community.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, the reason we\u2019re in the place we\u2019re in today is the same reason that Adam and Eve wound up in the place that they wound up\u2014is a lie sounded good\u2014they said, \u201cLet\u2019s try that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re in the same place because people have stood up and said: \u201cWhat the Bible says is repressive. What the Bible says isn\u2019t fully human. Here\u2019s the right way to live your sexuality out. Here\u2019s the right way to express your love for one another.\u201d We\u2019ve all kind of said, \u201cWell, that sounds good.\u201d Now, we\u2019re outside the Garden as a result; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. In this area of human sexuality\u2014manhood, and womanhood, and so forth\u2014the brokenness in that area of life is <em>so<\/em> personal and so tenderly felt \/ there\u2019s so much shame involved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> We can suppress for a while, but it\u2019s really\u2014there is deep pain. I think we, as representatives of Jesus\u2014He was so tender with sexual sinners, and He was so <em>severe<\/em> with the Pharisees. He said to the woman caught in the very act of adultery: \u201cNeither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe gave her her life back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, there are listening to us, people who are carrying around regret \/ they\u2019re carrying around shame. They\u2019re thinking: \u201cWhy did I do that? If only I could relive that moment.\u201d I think what all three of us would want to say to them: \u201cThere is a friend on high who understands. He is not waiting to bring the hammer down on you. He just wants to put His arm around your shoulder. He\u2019s saying to you today, \u2018Tell Me everything and let Me help you.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think back to the story you told on an earlier broadcast of how you met your bride and how you popped the question. She said, \u201cLet me think about it.\u201d After she thought and prayed about it for 20 minutes, she said \u201cYes!\u201d Then months later, you began your journey together. What were some of the first lessons you remember learning, Ray?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh boy; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Again, just being honest and authentic\u2014this is where life makes up its mind. It is as two imperfect people begin the journey of marriage together. As you told me before we came in here, marriage is a profoundly powerful sanctifying tool. It points out our shortcomings and begins to help the image of Christ to emerge from our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Dennis, I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget a really poignant moment with Jani seven years in. I was so selfish. Guys, I never chose to be selfish; I just didn\u2019t know how not to be. It was just the reality\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Laughter] I was getting ready to correct you. Oh yes, you did\u2014you were always choosing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> So, I was giving too much attention, and time, and emotion to everything <em>but<\/em> my family. I was taking <em>them<\/em> for granted. I was really excited about work. In fact, I was excited about ministry. I found more <em>significance<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m embarrassed to admit this\u2014I found more significance <em>outside<\/em> my home than with my wife and children that God had given me. I was so <em>oblivious<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJani had a significant conversation with me one day. She did not go into hysterics. She did not threaten, and she didn\u2019t yell at me. But she said very quietly and very calmly one day\u2014that\u2019s how I could listen \/ she flew in under my radar\u2014she said: \u201cThe children and I will always love you. We\u2019re not sure we\u2019ll always have you.\u201d That got my attention. In that moment, in God\u2019s mercy, the words landed on me precisely because she was gentle and respectful. I had no basis for pushing back. I <em>knew<\/em> she was right. I knew, in <em>that<\/em> moment, I had to rethink my life. I had to make some changes. In God\u2019s mercy, I did and we never looked back. It just got better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What about the guy, who is defensive, who\u2014his wife says that to him, he goes: \u201cWait! Let me show you my\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cmy calendar here. I\u2019m here. I\u2019m for you\u2014bringing home the bacon. I\u2019m taking care of you.\u201d I think a guy\u2019s ego gets in the way sometimes of his family\u2014and his accomplishments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Well, so many times in my life, Dennis, when I have <em>not<\/em> listened, it\u2019s because I needed to feel some more pain first that would help me listen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I wish this weren\u2019t true. Wouldn\u2019t it be great if we listened the first time, without more pain? But sometimes the <em>only<\/em> way I\u2019ll pay attention is if I suffer a little more. God, in His kindness, is willing to be patient and take us there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf a guy is listening right now, and he\u2019s thinking that, I would just say: \u201cYou can jeopardize everything that you\u2019re going to care about the most, 20 years from now. Or you can <em>invest<\/em> in those <em>very treasures<\/em> that you have in your hands right now; and 20 years from now, it\u2019s going to be great!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking with Ray Ortlund, who\u2019s written a book called <em>Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve always been fascinated, Ray, by the fact that the first thing that happens after Adam and Eve disobey God is that they start to turn on one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When God comes to Adam and says, \u201cWhat happened here?\u201d\u2014he throws Eve right under the bus and says, \u201cShe\u2019s the problem.\u201d Then he blames God, right on the backside of that: \u201cYou gave me a defective model.\u201d We\u2019re good at saying, \u201cI\u2019m not to blame here\u201d; aren\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes. We\u2019re all really good at finger pointing. Isn\u2019t it amazing?\u2014the world is a mess, and it\u2019s nobody\u2019s fault. [Laughter] We\u2019re all so <em>righteous<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarriage actually relaxes and becomes kind of a fun adventure together when we just admit the truth, and just own up with each other and get honest. Let\u2019s not\u2014I need to say to Jani: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I must be\u2014I\u2019m a disappointment to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI <em>know<\/em> that. Let me admit that to you. I\u2019m <em>so sorry<\/em>. What would please you? How can I be a better husband for you?\u201d Then, she very sweetly speaks to me that way. How can that not work?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, Ray, you\u2019ve been married 45 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you ever had a dark season? I\u2019m not talking about a dark moment\u2014you\u2019ve had plenty of dark moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you ever had a dark season in your marriage and family?\u2014even in the midst of doing ministry, where you\u2019re leading a church\u2014doing great things for God \/ being used by Him\u2014where you were going home and it just was testing your covenant \/ testing your commitment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Ten years ago, right now, we were in a dark season; but in God\u2019s mercy, Dennis, Jani and I were allies together in it. We went through an <em>extremely<\/em> difficult season of personal suffering about ten years ago. If Jani had <em>not<\/em> been there for me, I don\u2019t think I could have made it through. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was incapable during that season\u2014it was not a moment, as you say \/ it was a season\u2014I was incapable of experiencing what we mean by the English word, encouragement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut with Jani\u2014what she brought to me during that time\u2014I was so <em>deeply<\/em> dependent upon her to an extent that was embarrassing \/ I\u2019m trying to make it up to her now. She\u2014by her encouragement, by her care, by her listening, by her patience, her gentleness \/ her sort of non-corrective presence\u2014at least, kept me from sinking lower. That was a <em>big<\/em> deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of our listeners, right now, are just going through <em>unbelievable<\/em> suffering. They are in the most <em>profound<\/em> anguish. That can be the greatest season in your entire marriage. That is when the <em>pressures<\/em> of life, the <em>buffetings<\/em> of life, and the <em>sufferings<\/em> of life can draw you together with a tenderness you\u2019ve never known before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us\u2014maybe our marriages are not as profound as they could be because life has been too good to us; but, when we suffer\u2014oh my goodness\u2014to have a partner, a friend, an ally when it seems as though the whole world is against us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But speak to this for a moment, because those same sufferings can build a <em>wedge<\/em> between a husband and a wife. And because we suffer differently, as male and female, and absorb challenges differently\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014we don\u2019t merge together \/ we can be <em>repelled<\/em> by one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>Yes. Something that Genesis, Chapter 3, has helped me understand \/ Genesis 2 <em>and<\/em> 3 has helped me understand is this\u2014inside every man\u2014I mean, God created Adam first and gave him a mission\u2014gave him a job to do \/ a mountain to climb. But we\u2019re all fallen men\u2014we\u2019re enfeebled with sin, and mortality, and weakness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInside every guy is a self-doubt that says: \u201cBut will I fulfill my mission? Am I man enough? Am I actually going to meet the challenge of my existence, or am I going to <em>fail<\/em>?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA wise wife will understand that self-doubt is <em>way<\/em> down inside her husband. She will, by her words and actions <em>every<\/em> day communicate: \u201cHoney, I believe in you. By God\u2019s grace, you can do this baby! I\u2019m for you.\u201d That confidence will breathe life into a man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInside a woman \/ a wife\u2014it\u2019s a different question. There\u2019s another kind of self-doubt. God created Eve <em>for<\/em> Adam. Inside that wife\u2019s heart is the question: \u201cWill he go the distance with me, or will he cast me off? Am I the one he really wants, or is he wishing he were married to somebody else?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bottom line\u2014she\u2019s wondering if she\u2019s loved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cWill you still love me tomorrow?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. A wise husband will understand that\u2019s just down there, inside his precious wife. He will want to spend his life speaking into that question \/ answering that question very gently and reassuringly every day by his actions and words, saying: \u201cOh babe, you\u2019re the one I want. I can\u2019t <em>imagine<\/em> my life without you. I\u2019m <em>excited<\/em> about the future, with us side by side. I want you so close to me.\u201d When a wife hears that reassurance from her husband, she feels <em>prized<\/em> \/ she feels <em>significant<\/em> because she is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a man experiences respect, he construes that \/ he experiences that as love. When a wife is prized and valued, she experiences that as love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to go back to your dark season though; because in the midst of it, you didn\u2019t have a lot of reserve to be pouring out much of anything toward Jani.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou were hobbled \/ you were emotionally wounded. <em>She<\/em> had to recognize, in the midst of that\u2014she was feeling pain herself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but she had to put her own pain aside and say, \u201cWhat\u2019s more important to me, in this moment, is that I love and serve my husband in the midst of his pain than I enter into and embrace my own pain.\u201d She kind of forgot about herself and loved you through it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just thinking of how many couples, in the midst of darkness, become so self-absorbed of what they\u2019re feeling, we forgot what the other persons feeling and how God\u2019s put us together to serve one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> I think what Jani understood is that God Himself had sent her on a mission in life that <em>included<\/em> this season. God was not surprised by it. His plan was not knocked off course by this. She was not there by accident\u2014she was there on a mission, sent by the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was sustained by His grace, in order to sustain me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of ours, during that time, suggested something to us that meant <em>so much<\/em>\u2014it really worked. He said: \u201cAsk the Lord for a verse of Scripture \/ a promise that resonates with both of your hearts. Make that verse the theme of your life until you get out of all this mess.\u201d The Lord led us to 1 Peter 5:10: \u201cAnd after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you into His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.\u201d God used that verse to breathe hope into both of us. It totally worked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And ten years later, has the God of all comfort restored?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ray:<\/strong> Oh my goodness. Well, as I was saying earlier guys, I\u2019m embarrassed at how kind God has been. He has absolutely <em>poured<\/em> out his <em>restoring<\/em> mercies on us. I feel so cared for \/ so thought about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is ridiculous\u2014I know I totally don\u2019t deserve this. God has been <em>so faithful<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think of couples, Dennis\u2014who, in the slough of despond,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014cannot see a future \/ they\u2019ve lost hope for a future. When, if they can just persevere, there\u2019s a bright day ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And a part of the bright day is two strong-willed, broken people humbling themselves before God in prayer. Just before I came in to the studio, I had a little conversation with Barbara. She was discouraged about a matter. We\u2019re not talking about a season here \/ we\u2019re talking about a moment; okay?\u00a0 I told her, in that phone conversation, \u201cLet\u2019s just pray here for a second.\u201d You could hear it in her voice\u2014it <em>brightened<\/em> at the end of the conversation, after we prayed together. I think we underestimate our need to take these small matters and large matters before God, when we find ourselves in dark moments or dark seasons so the perseverance\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Bob, that you spoke about\u2014has a chance to germinate and take root.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But that hope comes when we know the God who is the God of hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I love about the book you\u2019ve written, Ray\u2014is you keep pointing us in that direction\u2014understanding the goodness of God in the gift of marriage. The book Ray has written is called <em>Marriage and the Mystery of the Gospel. <\/em>It\u2019s a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If you\u2019re interested in a copy, order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of the book. Again, the website to order online is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, this is the time of year for a lot of families \/ a lot of our families, where things get busy. School is starting to wrap up. Graduation is coming up for seniors. There are summer trips, summer vacations, or maybe a summer job that\u2019s ahead for some of our children. This is just a time of the year when all of us find ourselves adjusting to a different season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, here, at FamilyLife, as we have been preparing for this time of year, one of the things we\u2019ve realized is we have a number of projects that are underway\u2014that in order for them to stay on track during the summer\u2014we need to ask our listeners to help us out during the month of May. We \u2018ve got a goal of trying to raise $1.1 million this month so that we can continue the work that has already begun on things like <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em> video series that we\u2019re working on, some enhancements to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and work we\u2019re doing on our website and some of our digital platforms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn order for these projects to continue moving forward in the months ahead, we\u2019d like to ask you to make a donation today to help us reach this goal, in May, of $1.1 million that we\u2019re trying to raise. If you\u2019re able to give today, your gift is going to be doubled; because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have agreed that they will match the first $150,000 given toward this month-long goal. So, if you make a donation today, you\u2019ll be able to take advantage of the matching gift. We\u2019ll receive double the amount you give, thanks to your generosity. We\u2019ll be well on our way toward trying to reach that goal for the month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can donate by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. Or if you prefer to mail your donation to us, you can do that as well. Our address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlease continue to pray for us during the month, that we\u2019ll be able to meet this goal and continue the work on the projects that are in front of us. We would appreciate that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we want to talk about the unique assignment that God gives husbands in marriage and the unique assignment that God gives to wives. And those assignments are different \/ they\u2019re distinct. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304486","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304486"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304486"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304486"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304486"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304486"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304486"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304486"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}