{"id":304470,"date":"2017-04-19T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-04-19T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/challenges-of-adoption\/"},"modified":"2017-04-19T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-04-19T15:00:00","slug":"challenges-of-adoption","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/challenges-of-adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"Challenges of Adoption"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Adoptive parents Paul and Robin Pennington talk about the hard realities of adoption. The Penningtons talk about ROOTED, an online training course they&#8217;ve developed to support adoptive and foster families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-04-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.93M","filesize_raw":"27189121","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2860],"tags":[2712,5300,4177],"podcast_series":[8204],"cwp_profile":[9240],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304470","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-hardship-and-suffering","tag-adoption","tag-fostering","tag-special-needs","podcast_series-rooted","cwp_profile-paul-and-robin-pennington","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304470\/challenges-of-adoption","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304470\/challenges-of-adoption","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"U4DJR4R1CZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/challenges-of-adoption\/\">Challenges of Adoption<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/challenges-of-adoption\/embed\/#?secret=U4DJR4R1CZ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Challenges of Adoption&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"U4DJR4R1CZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Adoptive parents Paul and Robin Pennington talk about the hard realities of adoption. The Penningtons talk about ROOTED, an online training course they've developed to support adoptive and foster families.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-04-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For many years, Paul Pennington has been an outspoken advocate for adoption. He, himself, is an adoptive father; but he also recognizes that the decision to adopt may carry with it some deep-rooted parenting challenges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>As wonderful as it is that so many children are getting families and are being introduced to the gospel, it\u2019s equally important that we understand that the church must be prepared to help these families to raise kids coming from this kind of abuse and neglect; or we\u2019re actually heading for a train wreck. In fact, a lot of families are probably there right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, April 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. What can we do to help adoptive parents, when they face some of the challenges that may come their way, and how can they be better prepared for those challenges?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I have some friends, who live out in western Nebraska, and they are farmers. In fact, I know these folks\u2014I\u2019ve had the opportunity to drive the combine\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Harvest the popcorn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in the popcorn fields. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve ridden with Bob in a car. I can just tell you\u2014that was a courageous farmer that gave Bob\u2014what\u2019s that combine cost?\u2014a half million?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was a nice piece of equipment, and those rows were straight when I was done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You actually came back with a couple of bags. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; I did. I shared the popcorn with you. Here\u2019s why I\u2019m telling you about them\u2014because when I was riding out to the popcorn fields with them, they were telling me about the fact that they have an adopted child because they heard us talking about adoption on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> a decade or more ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis mom told me, later, she appreciated hearing Barbara on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> saying that adoption was one of the great privileges of your life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014one of the great joys\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I agree. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but also one of the biggest challenges you\u2019ve faced. A lot of parents think that adoption is going to be a fairy tale\u2014that a child is going to realize the unconditional love, and grace, and mercy that they have received; and they\u2019re just going to be grateful\u2014eternally grateful for it. That\u2019s not always the case. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No; their first words aren\u2019t, \u201cOh, Mom\/Dad, thanks for adopting me.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, I think it takes a while for that to soak in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a pair of friends back with us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014Paul and Robin Pennington. Robin\/Paul\u2014welcome back to the broadcast. Great to have you back in studio. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Robin: <\/strong>Thank you. It\u2019s great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>It\u2019s great to be with you and see your faces. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As we talk about adoption and the story Bob just told\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014humanly speaking\u2014that couple may have adopted that child because of Paul and Robin, from a human perspective. They have been champions for the orphan, here at FamilyLife, for a number of years and give leadership to a ministry called Hope for Orphans. They have six children\u2014five, of whom, are adopted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to start by asking, \u201cWhat are you seeing happen over the last couple of decades?\u201d\u2014because there has been resurgence, within the Christian community, around orphan care, adoption, and foster care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Well, I would start by saying, Dennis\u2014that when we met you and Bob, and we came here to FamilyLife and you took a chance on us, we didn\u2019t know, at that time, that God was calling several ministries and churches to step up and to connect the dots between the gospel and caring for fatherless children. Little did we know\u2014that being a part of FamilyLife and this ministry\u2014that we would see the birth of a movement, exactly like you said. Now, that movement has spread to countries around the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s been amazing to see how God has raised up the church to show compassion to kids who need a mom and a dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You are speaking, of course, of Christian Alliance for Orphans, which was birthed out of a meeting, Paul, that you helped lead back about 15 years ago. I just heard a story, Bob, of a group of leaders, who are associated with Christian Alliance for Orphans, who have gone to Africa and met with leaders of a couple of nations. They\u2019re starting what is the equivalent of Christian Alliance for Orphans in those countries. People don\u2019t realize this\u2014but in a lot of countries, orphan care, adoption, and foster care are really not a part of their DNA. So, this is <em>really<\/em>\u2014this is pioneering work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And the annual Christian Alliance for Orphans meeting is coming up the first week in May. We\u2019ll say more about it later today; but if folks want more information about attending what is the largest gathering of orphan care \/ foster care providers in America\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and probably in the world\u2014you can come join us the first week in May at the Christian Alliance for Orphans annual meeting, which is going to be held in Nashville this year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. There were 2,500 that attended last year\u2014but I want to go back to my question, Paul: \u201cWhat are you seeing happen?\u00a0 Do you think there is truly a movement, and how have you seen this birthed?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>There is definitely, truly a movement. I mean, at our church alone, in Austin, at Austin Stone Community Church\u2014when our pastor asked, \u201cIf you are interested in learning more about how God could use you in adoption, would you just stop by on the way out and fill out a card or come to the table?\u201d\u2014literally, on one Sunday, 2,000 people said they were interested to learn more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But what comes with that great statistic and exciting development in the church is something that\u2019s a little more sobering. In recent years, in particular, most of the kids coming to families are going to be older\u2014they\u2019re going to be coming from trauma, neglect, and abuse\u2014many of them are from foster care. In fact, foster care is the fastest growing part of orphan ministry in the church in the United States now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs wonderful as it is that so many children are getting families and being introduced to the gospel, it\u2019s equally important that we understand that the church must be prepared to help these families to raise kids coming from this kind of abuse and neglect; or we, actually, are heading for a train wreck. In fact, a lot of families are probably there right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and it\u2019s not just the church needing to be ready for this\u2014but moms and dads need to be ready for this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you adopted, Robin, back in\u2014what was it?\u20141984 that you adopted?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin: <\/strong>Yes; our first adoption was 1984. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you have the fairy tale idea circling in your head that this was going to be glorious, and wonderful, and smooth sailing?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin: <\/strong>Yes; I totally believed that, if you got a child as an infant, that it would be everything exactly as you would have with a biological child. I totally believed that the nurturing part\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if you got them early enough\u2014that there would be no trauma\/neglect and that child would be pretty much like a biological child except they just don\u2019t look like you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You and Paul have adopted five children over the years\u2014some of them special needs with physical disabilities that you\u2019ve adjust to. Is it both, for you, the most glorious thing and the most difficult thing you\u2019ve ever done?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin: <\/strong>It is. And it shows me God\u2019s sovereignty like nothing I\u2019ve ever known. I think that we have personally, as a family, experienced the very best of adoption. I mean, we have some adoptions that I could not have had children, biologically, that I understood more, that I connected with, and that I have every feeling for them and ten times more than what I ever hoped for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Robin, I want to interrupt you there, because I want you to go back\u2014you ran by it too fast. How has the sovereignty of God helped you process adoption and its challenges, as well, as its joys?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin: <\/strong>I know that I was not the next name on the list, and the next baby that came up was mine\u2014every one of these children was chosen to be mine. I know, before the foundations of the earth were laid, God knew who my children would be. I had no idea that they were going to come through adoption, and I don\u2019t know how my spirit could be so connected to a child that came from another woman\u2019s womb\u2014but, yet, they are mine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve become more patient; but early on, when people would say, \u201cOh, I thought they were all yours,\u201d\u2014they are all mine. They are mine as much as my biological child is mine. We have been blessed <em>enormously<\/em>; but I know that, for many families, it has been something that has been really the worst thing that\u2019s ever happened in their family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Paul, this is what has led Hope for Orphans to begin to develop material to help families, who have brought in children through adoption or foster care and found it to be very difficult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re trying to provide them information, counsel, help as they face some of the challenges that they didn\u2019t anticipate when they adopted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. We began to realize that, for families that were bringing these kids into their home, they needed training \/ they needed gospel-driven preparation; or they weren\u2019t going to make it. We heard some horrendous stories, where the wheels were coming off for Christian families, who never intended to be in that place; and there wasn\u2019t really very much available for them in the biblical counseling world. Unless the pastor had adopted, himself, there wasn\u2019t a whole lot to help for those families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why Hope for Orphans decided: \u201cWe have a responsibility here. We need to be a part of this conversation. It needs to be gospel-driven because, at the end of the day, we believe that the most\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the only sustainable, transformational power that\u2019s going to heal these children and preserve these families and marriages is the gospel.\u201d\u00a0 So, that\u2019s what <em>Rooted<\/em> is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about what some of the issues are that parents face, because I don\u2019t think you can anticipate all the different ways that an orphan experiences adoption and how they process it as they grow up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Absolutely; all of us here\u2014and most of us listening to this broadcast\u2014we\u2019ve grown up in a family. The rules of the family are that there are people who love you and care about you, for the most part; and they are going to take care of you. You learn that there are adults that you can trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you are an orphan, and you grow up in an institution, and everybody that you ever met is paid to be there, at best, and probably, to too often an extent, has abused or exploited you. You learn the rules of survival. Those are very different than the rules of the family. As a result, when these kids are coming to families at age 8, 9, and 10, what they have learned is that you will say anything \/ you will do anything in order to survive\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that\u2019s very different. Making that transition into a suburban, evangelical, American family is not to be romanticized. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember talking to some friends, who had adopted children out of the foster care system; and it was just as you explained. These kids had learned survival skills, and one of them was lying. You just lied and covered stuff up\u2014it\u2019s how you survived. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, here you have a mom and a dad, who are trying to teach their kids not to lie, and kids, who have learned, \u201cIf I don\u2019t lie, I might die.\u201d It takes a child a long time to figure out, \u201cNo; you\u2019re really safe telling the truth in this spot.\u201d\u00a0 That can be a hard period of time for that family when the kids are lying, and Mom and Dad are catching them in it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>The children that are coming from that context\u2014it\u2019s not just what they have learned from the adults in their lives\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s also a spiritual component to this. What doesn\u2019t always get talked about in our movement is the whole issue of spiritual warfare. These kids are hearing lies before they get here that: \u201cYou\u2019ve been exploited \/ you\u2019ve been abused because you\u2019re not worth anything \/ because you\u2019re not going to amount to anything.\u201d\u00a0 So, when they get to their families\u2014if there is not preparation \/ if there is not gospel-driven understanding\u2014it\u2019s going to be a problem. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, on the flip side, what we also don\u2019t talk about very much is the sin of the parents that are brought into this equation and the motivations for adoption. If we don\u2019t look carefully at where the parents are before adoption\u2014that just exacerbates the problem as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are you talking about the birth parents or the parents who have adopted?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>I\u2019m talking about the adoptive parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But there is also the sin of the birth parents that\u2019s being, also, passed on that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014no adoptive parent can begin to understand how that may be the case here. I know there are some people listening to our broadcast, now, that are going: \u201cHold it\u2014time out. This is too raw for me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But I just want you to know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014this is what Paul and Robin have been a part of in seeing this work its way out\u2014not just among some handful of parents, who were exceptions\u2014but more often than not, there are major issues. It may not be lying\u2014it may be other immoral or emotional behavior that works its way out through the child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s one of the things we don\u2019t want to talk about\u2014is when you mention about the sins that the child has come from \/ the things that the parents were involved in. And I\u2019m not, by any means, saying every child\u2014but there are many children coming into homes that have been exposed to things through their biological parents that they carry into the new home with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilies, often, are scared. I can\u2019t tell you how many moms have called me and said: \u201cMy husband and I take turns sleeping. We keep the knives put up. We are afraid for our lives.\u201d\u00a0 In one of the families, I remember in particular, the child was from another country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey brought him home as a three-year-old. By the time he was four, they were terrified for their family. That child has now been through three adoptive homes and has not made it in any of them\u2014and respite homes that cannot control this same child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about this for a moment, Paul. What happens when an adoption doesn\u2019t work out?\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014there are parents who can\u2019t handle it. I mean, they literally have to turn the child back into an agency or back into the foster care system. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>The hard facts are that most of the kids that are coming to American families now from international and foster care are going to be older\u2014they\u2019re going to have probably experienced abuse of some kind. Dr. Bergstrom in <em>Rooted<\/em> has pointed out that studies demonstrate that these kids, who have neglect, actually have worse outcomes than those who have been abused. When those kids are coming to these families, their families are not prepared for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd when there are issues in their own family\u2014as I said earlier\u2014that makes it even worse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe net result is probably\u2014we believe 25 percent \/ maybe more\u2014of the kids that are being adopted right now are not going to make it in their first family. When those kids don\u2019t make it in the first family\u2014when the wheels come off, and the marriage is in trouble, and the wife and the husband don\u2019t know what to do, and their church doesn\u2019t know how to help them\u2014they basically don\u2019t have anywhere to turn. What happens to those kids, in a best-case scenario, nowadays, is they get re-placed. It\u2019s a relinquishment adoption, and they get placed in another family. Robin, you probably could add to that a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin: <\/strong>Well, these are the families I work with, and I can tell you that\u2014I mean, there have been a handful of people that I\u2019ve worked with that are really unusual people and probably should have never had a child placed in their home\u2014but the vast majority of families that I work with are <em>amazing<\/em> families. They are people who love the Lord, who never dreamed they would be in the place they are in. I have to say\u2014in support of them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the majority of those are families who, they were no longer safe with that child in their home or that child was no longer safe to be in that home for reasons that we don\u2019t understand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, one family, in particular, that I worked with\u2014the child was from India. The family that adopted her\u2014they were also Indian \/ they lived here in the States\u2014wonderful family. That little girl, literally, screamed every time the dad walked into the room. She would not let the dad touch her \/ near her. The friends that came over\u2014she would not let any of the men touch her or be anywhere in close proximity. They loved her. They knew that whatever was going on here\u2014they were not good for this child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, she went into the home of another family. The first thing that the original family said to the dad is: \u201cBe prepared. She\u2019s not going to let you touch her. She\u2019s going to be terrified.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, so, the first time they met this little girl, she ran <em>immediately<\/em> to the dad\u2014the new dad\u2014and let him pick her up. He held her. She put her head on his shoulder, and it was over. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what we saw in that\u2014that something went wrong there that was not the fault of the family that had her, and the new family didn\u2019t do something magical \/ they weren\u2019t better parents. Whatever had happened in this little girl\u2019s life, previous to coming into their home\u2014that just could not meet up with the family that brought her home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s because of these challenges that you all, after being in this arena for the past 20\/25 years, developed a program called <em>Rooted<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. <em>Rooted<\/em> is a collection of speakers, who all speak to this topic in different ways. The basic idea of <em>Rooted<\/em> is that\u2014what these children need and what these families need\u2014is to understand what it means to be loved by God and the gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s the opportunity, in understanding how God parents us, to make a real difference for those families who are planning to adopt, as well, as for those families who have already adopted and are struggling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn <em>Rooted<\/em>, we teach them a basic framework by which we should approach these children, especially those who come from neglect and abuse; and that\u2019s basically to see our children for who they really are\u2014to really hear their heart, and to know them, and then to act. That\u2019s what God does with us. Then, the rest of the speakers are building on that topic with things like spiritual warfare. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that Robin has identified in her work\u2014is there is a real correlation to outcomes for children in homes based on whether the husbands are passive or leaders. Of course, Dennis, you talk a lot about the role and the importance of men being leaders in the home. Well, turns out\u2014the kids that are high-risk kids\u2014when they come into homes where the husbands are really passive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014their outcomes aren\u2019t very good. We don\u2019t think that\u2019s just a scientific observation; we think that\u2019s a biblical and spiritual observation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, here is what I\u2019m hearing: \u201cAdoption is glorious and can be very hard. It may be that, in as many as 25 percent of adoptions, there is going to have to be a re-placement. If there\u2019s not a re-placement, you can expect challenges that are going to be related to spiritual issues \/ emotional issues. There may be safety issues engaged. And if you are going through that, as a family, there is some help and there is some hope through the resources you\u2019ve put together.\u201d\u00a0 You said it\u2019s a collection of speakers. Are these sessions that you can watch, online, or is it something that you watch\u2014how do you access this information?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Well, the way <em>Rooted<\/em> is set up is\u2014we wanted to leverage technology to be able to help the most people in the most efficient way. There are 14 videos in this resource, and each one is an individual session. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is a printed study guide available from Hope for Orphans that goes right along with each of those videos. The speakers include folks like Voddie Baucham, who is an adoptive dad\u2014some people don\u2019t know that\u2014Paul David Tripp, who is an adoptive dad. We have Dr. Larry Bergstrom, who is the founder of Complimentary Medicine at Mayo Clinic, who is an adoptive dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have some very wonderful speakers, that God has provided, who all are tying their unique perspective into this question of: \u201cWhat does gospel-driven parenting look like?\u201d\u00a0 At the end of the day, one of our biases is that the Scripture teaches that, ultimately, what\u2019s going to deal with the sin done against our children, their own sin, and ours is only the gospel. That\u2019s why it\u2019s important to be gospel-driven and science-sensitive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s why we\u2019re featuring this ministry, here again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014is to address the needs of adoptive parents; because adoption is one of the highest and holiest privileges you can ever engage in, as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI promise you\u2014both Barbara and I, if we had it to do all over again, it would be one thousand times out of one thousand times; okay?\u00a0 But you need resources that help you understand what\u2019s taking place, because it\u2019s not as simple as you may think it is. It\u2019s why Hope for Orphans exists\u2014and this program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d encourage our listeners to check out <em>Rooted<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get some information there. We can give you a link of how you can connect with Paul and Robin and Hope for Orphans there; and perhaps, bring this to your church, along with\u2014by the way, what I would always continue to encourage\u2014which is starting an orphan care, foster care, and adoption ministry in and through your local church. This is where it needs to be happening. Those who champion the cause of the orphan need to step forward; because there are, literally, tens of millions of orphans who need a forever family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and again, you and I are headed to Nashville, here in a couple of weeks, for the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit that\u2019s going to be held at Brentwood Baptist Church, just south of the Nashville area. That\u2019s the place to start if you are looking at launching something in your local church. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and there\u2019s a link there for information about the upcoming summit in Nashville. It is happening \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay 4<sup>th<\/sup> and 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com for more information. There\u2019s also information about the <em>Rooted<\/em> program\u2014the curriculum that Paul and Robin Pennington have put together. You\u2019ll find it at FamilyLifeToday.com; or if you have any questions, give us a call at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, quickly, let me say a \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are helping us, here at FamilyLife, reach more people than ever before. Actually, what you are doing\u2014those of you who help support this ministry\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014our Legacy Partners, who support us each month, and those of you who, from time to time, will make a donation in support of this ministry\u2014you\u2019re helping us pour into the lives of more couples \/ more families than ever before. The reach of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is more significant than it has ever been through an increasing number of channels through which this radio program is heard. Our website is reaching people. Our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> events have been growing. And we\u2019re creating new resources, all the time, to provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you\u2019re partnering with us to take this message to more and more people; and we appreciate that partnership. You can make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk more about children who have been through emotional trauma and then find themselves in a brand-new home\u2014often, in a brand-new country\u2014in a place that looks very strange to them. We\u2019ll meet Dr. Mary Bennett, who has worked with a lot of children like this. She\u2019ll be with us tomorrow. I hope you can tune in as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304470","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304470"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304470"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304470"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304470"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}