{"id":304434,"date":"2017-03-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-03-24T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/learning-through-a-mentor\/"},"modified":"2017-03-24T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-03-24T15:00:00","slug":"learning-through-a-mentor","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/learning-through-a-mentor\/","title":{"rendered":"Learning Through a Mentor"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Kent Evans | Series: Wise Guys: Wisdom From Men Around You | Author Kent Evans encourages men to unlock the hidden wisdom of others by seeking them out as mentors. Evans remembers how a former employer called him to task when he didn&#8217;t have a project finished on time. Evans still marvels at the hard lesson he learned that day and continues to seek out mentors for himself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author Kent Evans encourages men to unlock the hidden wisdom of others by seeking them out as mentors.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-24.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.46M","filesize_raw":"25649809","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2826,2821],"tags":[4698,4052,4096],"podcast_series":[8199],"cwp_profile":[3470],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304434","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-men","category-reaching-out","tag-manhood","tag-mentor","tag-mentoring","podcast_series-wise-guys-wisdom-from-men-around-you","cwp_profile-kent-evans","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304434\/learning-through-a-mentor","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304434\/learning-through-a-mentor","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"27rNegl0LZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/learning-through-a-mentor\/\">Learning Through a Mentor<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/learning-through-a-mentor\/embed\/#?secret=27rNegl0LZ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Learning Through a Mentor&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"27rNegl0LZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you have someone that you can turn to who will help provide you with wisdom, good advice\u2014help you get pointed in the right direction? Kent Evans says there are guys out there willing to help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent: <\/strong>I put a lot of the burden of mentorship back on the prot\u00e9g\u00e9. The reason I say that is because, for anything I\u2019ve ever chased and wanted to learn, I had no trouble finding a guy who would teach me. I remember one of my long-time relationships\u2014I\u2019ve known this guy almost 20 years now, and he\u2019s a great ministry guy\u2014I met him because he spoke at a lunch. He spoke up there; and I thought: \u201cHe\u2019s a good speaker,\u201d\u2014a Christian guy\u2014\u201cHe knows the Bible.\u201d So I called him and said, \u201cCan we have lunch?\u201d You know, I\u2019m not holding myself as the perfect example, but what I am saying is\u2014guys will respond if you genuinely want their help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible says if anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask of God. There are godly men and godly women whom we can be asking for counsel. We\u2019ll explore that subject more today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Who would you say, other than your dad\u2014in high school, was there anybody? Was there a coach? Was there a mentor or somebody, who was a little older\u2014not a peer\u2014but somebody, who was a little older than you, who marked your life and pointed you in a significant direction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it was around athletics. I wouldn\u2019t say there was a spiritual direction to where they were pointing me, but I had a coach by the name of Bud Routh. Bud was a great coach. I played for him, as I recall, from the time I was a freshman until I was a senior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was the sixth man on the varsity squad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was basketball you were playing; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Basketball\u2014right\u2014when I was a freshman. I learned how to compete at a very, very high level with a guy who knew how to win. There are a lot of lessons to be passed on to a young man around that theme.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When we were raising our boys, one of the things I recognized was that I would probably, for good or for ill, leave the biggest mark on their life. Just because of the amount of time they were going to spend in my presence, I was going to mark them more than anybody else. But I also recognized that, for them to grow up to maturity, they needed more than just <em>me<\/em> leaving marks on their lives. They needed other men around them, who were pointing them in the right direction as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. That\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re going to do today, Bob\u2014we\u2019re going to provide a man to stimulate dads, grandfathers, young men to love and good deeds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKent Evans joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Kent\u2014thanks for being the number one draft choice to stimulate all of these men around the country to be God\u2019s man. That\u2019s quite a responsibility! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> This is the first team I\u2019ve ever made! That\u2019s fantastic! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s pretty cool!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKent is the co-founder of Manhood Journey, a ministry that helps fathers and mentors build into the next generation of men. He has been married to April since 1995. He has four boys, and did you say you have another one on the way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014on the way from Ethiopia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got it, sir! I\u2019m looking forward to seeing little Titus get home soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes! That\u2019s cool! He has written a book called <em>Wise Guys: Unlocking Hidden Wisdom from the Men Around You.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, the men around you show up in some interesting places. In your life, you had a guy that you were working for who was a builder of roofs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou actually shared this story a little earlier, but I wanted you to unpack more of the story. Share what your relationship was like with this guy and the impact he had as he confronted you around something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Yes; some guys lead out of being really vocal, and very dominant, and hyper, and loud. That\u2019s kind of sometimes is the path I pick, which is not always a good path. This gentleman, Rick Steinrock\u2014he led from a position of calm confidence. He never raised his voice \/ never got out of hand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI owed him something. I was in the marketing business, and he was my customer. I was not delivering for him. So he kept calling me. True story\u2014I just avoided him. I didn\u2019t return his calls \/ I didn\u2019t return his emails\u2014I just did nothing. The problem with that is\u2014if you\u2019re going to avoid somebody, don\u2019t go to the same church they do. [Laughter] That is just <em>too<\/em> risky; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, we were coming out of church. Rick said, \u201cHey, Kent!\u201d I mean, seriously, guys, I was in such a place, spiritually, that, if I could have hidden behind a garbage can, I probably would have; but he had already seen me. He said, \u201cDo you have a second?\u201d I said, \u201cYes\u201d; and I knew this was going to hurt. We walked back into the sanctuary\u2014a big sanctuary. There were just two guys in it\u2014he and I. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cYou know,\u201d and he just looked me in the eye. In about 20 seconds, he just goes: \u201cI get the sense you\u2019re avoiding me. I think it\u2019s because you don\u2019t have the project done. As a business guy, I think you, you know, you should do better. But, as a brother in Christ, I\u2019m really disappointed.\u201d That was it. You know, deep down, I wanted him to get irate, or throw something at me, or yell, or use foul language so I could deflect or do something other than just acknowledge: \u201cYes; man, you got me. You\u2019re right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he closed it by saying, \u201cBut I think you\u2019ll figure it out, and I look forward to getting this finished.\u201d He moved on. Several years later, he sent me a gift card to a steakhouse. We\u2019ve repaired our relationship. So, through his graciousness, he continued to allow me to work with and for him on projects. But, man, that was a <em>great<\/em> example of Galatians 6, where it says, \u201cWhen someone is caught in a trespass, restore them gently so you will not also be tempted.\u201d Rick did a magnificent job of restoring me gently, because that was his heart. His heart wasn\u2019t to ridicule or rebuke; his heart was to restore me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, Rick modeled something there\u2014just in terms of initiative\u2014that I think a lot of guys today shy away from.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re exactly right, Bob. I think a lot of guys, at points, may be fearful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and think, \u201cYou know, the easiest thing to do here is nothing.\u201d So that\u2019s exactly what they do. They don\u2019t realize they may be a key person in that younger man\u2019s life to call him up and out of something that he\u2019s into.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, in fact, one of the reasons that there is not as much mentoring happening as I think all of us would like to see happening is because, I think, guys are a little scared of relationship\u2014a little shy. It\u2019s easier to just go home and watch ESPN than it is to get involved in one another\u2019s lives. We\u2019re going to be exposed \/ we\u2019re going to be found out\u2014we can\u2019t be posers like we all like to be. How do we get over that hurdle so that we can reap the benefits of being engaged with other men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I put a lot of the burden of mentorship back on the prot\u00e9g\u00e9. The reason I say that is because, for anything I\u2019ve ever chased and wanted to learn, I had no trouble finding a guy who would teach me; you know? It\u2019s not because I\u2019m perfect at this\u2014I\u2019m not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what I know is\u2014I remember one of my long-time relationships. I\u2019ve known this guy almost 20 years now, and he\u2019s a great ministry guy\u2014I met him because he spoke at a lunch. He spoke up there and I thought: \u201cMan, he\u2019s pretty good. He\u2019s a good speaker,\u201d\u2014a Christian guy\u2014\u201cHe knows the Bible.\u201d So I called him and said, \u201cCan we have lunch?\u201d You know, I\u2019m not holding myself as the perfect example, but what I am saying is\u2014guys will respond if you genuinely want their help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s important to say, when you called him and said, \u201cCan we have lunch?\u201d you made it easy for him to say, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a guy come to me one time and he said, \u201cWould you mentor me?\u201d Honestly, when he said that, I had these thoughts going on in my head: \u201cFirst of all, I don\u2019t know what exactly you\u2019re asking me to do,\u201d and \u201cIf I say, \u2018Yes,\u2019 to this, I don\u2019t know what kind of a commitment I\u2019m making here,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cI\u2019m not sure what I\u2019m supposed to do. If I say, \u2018Yes,\u2019 I don\u2019t know what Step One is in mentoring you.\u201d And so, I was like, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to answer that!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if he had said: \u201cHey, can we go out to lunch? I\u2019d just like to ask you some questions.\u201d I\u2019m up for that anytime; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you\u2014I went to lunch a couple weeks ago with our former pastor, who was the pastor of our church for 40 years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bob Russell.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Bob Russell, an amazing man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Great guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> He will always give me time if I ask for it. I just asked Bob one question, and I got 90 minutes of advice. Do you know what the question was? \u201cHey, Bob, I\u2019m new at this ministry game. You\u2019ve seen this\u2014you\u2019ve had a wide-angle lens on ministry forever. How can I blow this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got everything from fund-raising, to board development, to personal purity, to you-name-it; right? It was an hour-and-a-half of pure wisdom! It\u2019s not because I\u2019m a genius, but it\u2019s because I\u2019m willing to ask the question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> And I would love to see guys be willing to ask other guys: \u201cHey, man! You know, how did you do what you did?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So who has been the most influential mentor in your life? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Probably one of my early bosses. I\u2019ll say this for a very specific reason\u2014Frank Austin. You know, there are guys who are good at asking questions. You guys do radio, and you ask great questions. He\u2019s like the Mariano Rivera of question-asking; right? [Laughter] I mean, he\u2019s an amazing guy! He does it in a sales context. He\u2019s made a lot of money selling. He taught me how to ask questions, and he taught me how to ask questions in a sequence that, if I needed to get you to do something\u2014if I was trying to sell a product\u2014I could ask you questions in a sequence. But, more importantly, he just taught me to be inquisitive and ask probing questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can sit down with someone, who\u2019s my superior\u2014it\u2019s like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, \u201cEvery man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that, I endeavor to learn.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love that quote, because no matter whomever I meet\u2014if I met a homeless person, who lives on the street, they could teach me how to live on the street; because I don\u2019t know how to do that! So everyone I meet knows something I don\u2019t; and in that, I try to learn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about something there that, if a man is going to be a mentor, he ought to know where his\u2014in baseball terms, we call it the fat part of the bat\u2014where, if the baseball can hit it there, the ball really takes off. Every man, I believe, has got some fat-part-of-the-bat core lessons that they\u2019ve learned in their lifetime that, frankly, they ought to be about passing on to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, that\u2019s a good inventory for any man\u2014especially men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, as they get older\u2014to ask about themselves and take that inventory to know where their messages are, because every man has some life messages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not just a pastor who has life messages \/ it\u2019s not just authors of books who have life messages\u2014everybody has got a story, and everyone has things they can pass on to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> You know, Dennis, in your book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, you listed a bunch of guys who had poured into you\u2014I\u2019m sure the list was even longer. I think one thing we get wrong about mentorship and prot\u00e9g\u00e9-ship is: \u201cI\u2019ve got to go to Bob, and he\u2019s going to be my <em>only<\/em> mentor. He\u2019s going to give me everything! Man!\u2014finances \/ marriage\u2014you name it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo! I look at it kind of like life. I can learn something from Bob, something from Dennis, something from my father-in-law, something from my brother-in-law. I can pull those things together, and I don\u2019t have to submit to one mentor and put the pressure on that mentor to give me <em>everything<\/em> in life that I need! I looked at your list in the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>,and I thought, \u201cEach of those guys had different things they could teach you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And did. And what I encourage young men to do is to go and ask for a year\u2014once-a-month, a meeting for a year\u2014around a topic or around an area of life that they need to be developed in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, at the end of the year, you can decide, like an insurance policy, if you want to re-up for another year or if you need to go in search of another mentor who may train you in another area.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You share a lot of the people who have mentored you\u2014you share some of the stories in your book. Tell our listeners about Jim Hedley and his impact on your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Man, Jim Hedley is a former owner of a business that I worked at. One time, he and I were traveling in St. Louis. We were at a Chili\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> at the airport\u2014I remember it clearly. I could probably take you guys back to the very table where we sat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob can probably tell you the table that you sat at. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I can tell you what you ordered!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You mentioned two key things in that sentence\u2014you said, \u201crestaurant\u201d and \u201cSt. Louis.\u201d He grew up in St. Louis, and Bob has never met a restaurant he didn\u2019t like. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s fantastic!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s like Mark Twain. Did Mark Twain say that? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t know I stepped on a bomb there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You did! You did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I believe I tripped it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we sat there, Jim was\u2014you talk about intentional question-asking\u2014Jim had the ability to ask you questions, and questions, and questions. It\u2019s almost like, by the time you were done, you were standing over the trap door and\u2014poof!\u2014down you go! He knew, the whole time, he was getting you to the trap door. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Jim did for me that day is\u2014he asked me questions about my family, growing up, and he dove in. Here\u2019s the boss of the company that I\u2019m traveling with, just as a sales guy. It could be intimidating; but he stepped right into my personal life and said, \u201cTell me about your family\u2014about your mom and dad.\u201d I told him. I probably still had a little bit of that disappointment or anger in my voice about my upbringing, to a degree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim said, \u201cDo you know what every dad wants?\u201d He just stopped me. I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d He said: \u201cEvery dad wants his children to know that he did the best he could with what he had. And if you could look back and think about most things your dad did do for you, he might like to hear that sometime.\u201d It was powerful; because I had built this life around what didn\u2019t go right and what wasn\u2019t given to me, as a 13-year-old or 15-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Jim taught me was, \u201cYou should probably go back and think about what he did right.\u201d I wrote my dad a letter, and it was liberating for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Is your dad still alive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> He is indeed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got a little assignment for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Man!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And this is going to be an interesting assignment for you. A number of years ago\u2014and, by the way, this is one of my life messages. I came about it, not because I was looking for it, but I started speaking to high school young men and women, and then, college guys. I began to find out the waters were deep around young men and young ladies and their parents \/ their fathers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI began to speak to that out of the Ten Commandments, which, if you\u2019ll re-read them again, the first four have to do with our relationship with God. Number five has to do with our horizontal relationship with our mother and father\u2014it commands us to honor our parents. I gave a practical project to young men and older men\u2014to write a tribute to their dad \/ to their mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack then, when I developed this message, I asked them to\u2014and challenged them\u2014to typeset it \/ pay to get it typeset, and then pay to get it matted and framed, and then present it at a key holiday, or birthday, or anniversary, or just an occasion that is fitting for that, and read it, face to face, out loud.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I like it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve coached a lot of people on how to do this in the book that you wrote called <em>The Forgotten Commandment.<\/em> And you\u2019ve heard from a lot of people the same thing we just heard from you about the liberation that comes when you step across that line and, instead of holding your parents hostage for the things that they didn\u2019t do perfectly, you give them grace\u2014instead, you honor them for what they did well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019ll do, with our listeners\u2014I\u2019ll read your tribute on air to your dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I accept the challenge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Alright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So let\u2019s go back to this idea of the need that we have to grow, and how other guys can help us in that, and then how God can use us in the lives of others. Somebody listening today needs an action point from this program. Would you say the action point ought to be to seek out a lunch with somebody you respect and just ask them a couple of questions? Is that how you start this process?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Yes; I think you could start there. I think one step\u2014that you could even do first\u2014would be: \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u201d One of the reasons I was attracted to that gentleman, who was speaking, was because I wanted to speak in public in a way that was not, you know, clumsy and horrible. I was attracted to him because I knew that was part of what I wanted my future to include. So I would say you can start with the lunch and just start out, right out of the gate. I would say you could also make a short list of two, or three, or four things that you want to get better at. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, there\u2019s a guy across the street from me, guys, whose yard is perfect! Now, I don\u2019t really care that my yard be perfect; but if I <em>did, <\/em>I could walk across the street and get Dan to tell me, all day long, how to have a perfect lawn. So, for me, because I don\u2019t really care about the yard being perfect, I don\u2019t need to go talk to Dan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for me, there\u2019s a step before that that says: \u201cWhat do you want to do? Do you want a better marriage? Do you want better finances? Do you want to be a better dad? Would you like to be a better son, like Dennis was pointing out a moment ago?\u201d Fine! Identify those things, and then you\u2019ll start to see people who are that way. If I want to be a better golfer, all of a sudden, I\u2019m going to notice the guy who has a shirt on that has a country club [logo] on the side. It\u2019s just that God\u2019s going to work like that. I am going to say: \u201cAha! You can teach me how to be a better golfer.\u201d So I think there is a part of this that is just: \u201cGuys, what do you want to do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That reminds me of a proverb I heard one time: \u201cYou can\u2019t raise grass and kids simultaneously.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Beautiful! Amen to that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You had a man who impacted your life, who has been a guest here on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>He gives leadership to TrailLife USA, which is a ministry to boys\u2014dads reaching down to the lives of boys and forming kind of scout groups of sorts. Mark Hancock had an impact on your life that was indelible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> You\u2019ve probably experienced this, Dennis, where you have people who want to corner you on doctrinal issues. They want to have a debate about something in Scripture. I don\u2019t like those debates. I think we end up pretty bad, and I don\u2019t know that we approach them very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, I got a question at a TrailLife event, where we were exhibiting as a vendor. This question was doctrinally-related. Later, I asked Mark Hancock\u2014bumped into him in the hall\u2014and he has become a cherished friend and a true ally in the ministry fight. Mark and his son happened to walk by, and I had one of my teenaged sons nearby. I said: \u201cMark, what do you do with doctrinally-divisive issues. How do you handle those?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of answering the question, he turned to his son and said, \u201cYou know, I have some ideas; but why don\u2019t you tell Mr. Evans what you think first.\u201d In an instant, I learned four or five lessons--right then!--deference, humility, letting a young man give his best answer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, after his young son answered\u2014which, by the way, incidentally, was an <em>amazingly<\/em> articulate and intelligent answer\u2014Mark just said, \u201cMan, that\u2019s a great point.\u201d Then Mark added one idea that he had that did not compete with or overrule what his son said. It was a <em>masterful<\/em> move in how to bring your son into a conversation of manhood that another man was having. It was beautiful. I learned a lot in just a split second.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to exhort every man with a couple of points. Every man listening to this broadcast--whether you\u2019re a teenager or whether you\u2019re a grandfather\u2014every man, listening to us, needs a mentor. You need to have someone that you have named who is building into your life. Then the second thing I want to say\u2014to every teenager, and to every man in between to that of a sage, in the twilight years\u2014is every man needs to <em>be<\/em> a mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the question is: \u201cWho\u2019s your mentor?\u201d And the second question is: \u201cWho are you mentoring?\u201d You ought to be able to name them. You ought to have a couple of guys that you\u2019re building into. For a teenager, you just need to reach down into junior high or into the freshman class of your high school. There are young men who need to be mentored, who need an older guy to look after them and take their influence, as an upperclassman, and make it count for something for Christ. You can have a <em>big<\/em> impact in a young man\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of us who are a bit older, we need to look back over the landscape and think: \u201cWhat\u2019s my contribution here? How do I do this? What\u2019s the best way to do this in the lives of the men that I know?\u201d Then make yourself available. If you make yourself available to young men, I\u2019m going to tell you\u2014God will use you in a powerful way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And one of the things you\u2019ve modeled well\u2014and that I think a lot of us have learned from you\u2014is that, in that role, don\u2019t just talk about your successes; but talk about what you\u2019ve learned from where you\u2019ve messed up in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Some of the most powerful lessons we can pass on to others are the lessons of our failures and how we can help them avoid stepping in the same potholes we\u2019ve stepped in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Kent, I just appreciate you and your book, <em>Wise Guys,<\/em> doing that repeatedly\u2014not only talking about some things that you know a lot about that are successes and what you\u2019re modeling\u2014but also the humility to share, out of your defeats, those lessons you\u2019ve learned. I just appreciate you \/ I appreciate the book. I hope a lot of guys will not just listen to today\u2019s broadcast and go: \u201cThat was entertaining. That was good\u201d; but I hope they will do something about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thank you for being on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> I hope you\u2019ll come back and join us again sometime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> It\u2019s my pleasure. Thank you, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And let me just say that one of the things guys can do in response to today\u2019s program is to get a copy of your book\u2014it\u2019s called <em>Wise Guys: Unlocking Hidden Wisdom from the Men Around You.<\/em> We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy. This would be great for a group of men to go through together. Again, the book is called <em>Wise Guys<\/em> by Kent Evans. Order from FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention Dennis\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>\u2014another great book for guys to go through together. There\u2019s a companion video series \/ a ten-part video series you can go through as well. You\u2019ll find all of these resources on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Or order when you call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA quick word of thanks to those of you who make this daily program possible\u2014what you\u2019re actually doing, when you contribute to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014you\u2019re enabling these kinds of conversations to, not only happen, but you\u2019re making it possible for them to be heard by more and more people every year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not only heard on local Christian radio\u2014but now, via podcast, through our mobile app, through web-streaming on our website, on our Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page. More people are engaging with <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>than ever. You help make that possible when you support this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to express our thanks to you by sending you a set of Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a great tool designed for you to be able to share the Easter story with your children or your grandchildren in a fun and creative way. You can donate at FamilyLifeToday.com \/ you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Or if you\u2019d prefer, you can mail your donation, along with your request for the Resurrection Eggs, to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to start getting you ready for what ought to be the biggest celebration your family has all year as we get ready for the coming of Easter. Barbara Rainey will be here to talk about how you can be prepared and things moms and dads can do so that the kids look at Easter differently in your home. I hope you can tune in for that on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. 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Kent Evans encourages men to unlock the hidden wisdom of others by seeking them out as mentors.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you have someone that you can turn to who will help provide you with wisdom, good advice\u2014help you get pointed in the right direction? Kent Evans says there are guys out there willing to help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent: <\/strong>I put a lot of the burden of mentorship back on the prot\u00e9g\u00e9. The reason I say that is because, for anything I\u2019ve ever chased and wanted to learn, I had no trouble finding a guy who would teach me. I remember one of my long-time relationships\u2014I\u2019ve known this guy almost 20 years now, and he\u2019s a great ministry guy\u2014I met him because he spoke at a lunch. He spoke up there; and I thought: \u201cHe\u2019s a good speaker,\u201d\u2014a Christian guy\u2014\u201cHe knows the Bible.\u201d So I called him and said, \u201cCan we have lunch?\u201d You know, I\u2019m not holding myself as the perfect example, but what I am saying is\u2014guys will respond if you genuinely want their help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible says if anyone lacks wisdom, let him ask of God. There are godly men and godly women whom we can be asking for counsel. We\u2019ll explore that subject more today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Who would you say, other than your dad\u2014in high school, was there anybody? Was there a coach? Was there a mentor or somebody, who was a little older\u2014not a peer\u2014but somebody, who was a little older than you, who marked your life and pointed you in a significant direction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it was around athletics. I wouldn\u2019t say there was a spiritual direction to where they were pointing me, but I had a coach by the name of Bud Routh. Bud was a great coach. I played for him, as I recall, from the time I was a freshman until I was a senior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was the sixth man on the varsity squad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This was basketball you were playing; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Basketball\u2014right\u2014when I was a freshman. I learned how to compete at a very, very high level with a guy who knew how to win. There are a lot of lessons to be passed on to a young man around that theme.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When we were raising our boys, one of the things I recognized was that I would probably, for good or for ill, leave the biggest mark on their life. Just because of the amount of time they were going to spend in my presence, I was going to mark them more than anybody else. But I also recognized that, for them to grow up to maturity, they needed more than just <em>me<\/em> leaving marks on their lives. They needed other men around them, who were pointing them in the right direction as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. That\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re going to do today, Bob\u2014we\u2019re going to provide a man to stimulate dads, grandfathers, young men to love and good deeds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKent Evans joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Kent\u2014thanks for being the number one draft choice to stimulate all of these men around the country to be God\u2019s man. That\u2019s quite a responsibility! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> This is the first team I\u2019ve ever made! That\u2019s fantastic! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s pretty cool!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKent is the co-founder of Manhood Journey, a ministry that helps fathers and mentors build into the next generation of men. He has been married to April since 1995. He has four boys, and did you say you have another one on the way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014on the way from Ethiopia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got it, sir! I\u2019m looking forward to seeing little Titus get home soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes! That\u2019s cool! He has written a book called <em>Wise Guys: Unlocking Hidden Wisdom from the Men Around You.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, the men around you show up in some interesting places. In your life, you had a guy that you were working for who was a builder of roofs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou actually shared this story a little earlier, but I wanted you to unpack more of the story. Share what your relationship was like with this guy and the impact he had as he confronted you around something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Yes; some guys lead out of being really vocal, and very dominant, and hyper, and loud. That\u2019s kind of sometimes is the path I pick, which is not always a good path. This gentleman, Rick Steinrock\u2014he led from a position of calm confidence. He never raised his voice \/ never got out of hand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI owed him something. I was in the marketing business, and he was my customer. I was not delivering for him. So he kept calling me. True story\u2014I just avoided him. I didn\u2019t return his calls \/ I didn\u2019t return his emails\u2014I just did nothing. The problem with that is\u2014if you\u2019re going to avoid somebody, don\u2019t go to the same church they do. [Laughter] That is just <em>too<\/em> risky; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, we were coming out of church. Rick said, \u201cHey, Kent!\u201d I mean, seriously, guys, I was in such a place, spiritually, that, if I could have hidden behind a garbage can, I probably would have; but he had already seen me. He said, \u201cDo you have a second?\u201d I said, \u201cYes\u201d; and I knew this was going to hurt. We walked back into the sanctuary\u2014a big sanctuary. There were just two guys in it\u2014he and I. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cYou know,\u201d and he just looked me in the eye. In about 20 seconds, he just goes: \u201cI get the sense you\u2019re avoiding me. I think it\u2019s because you don\u2019t have the project done. As a business guy, I think you, you know, you should do better. But, as a brother in Christ, I\u2019m really disappointed.\u201d That was it. You know, deep down, I wanted him to get irate, or throw something at me, or yell, or use foul language so I could deflect or do something other than just acknowledge: \u201cYes; man, you got me. You\u2019re right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he closed it by saying, \u201cBut I think you\u2019ll figure it out, and I look forward to getting this finished.\u201d He moved on. Several years later, he sent me a gift card to a steakhouse. We\u2019ve repaired our relationship. So, through his graciousness, he continued to allow me to work with and for him on projects. But, man, that was a <em>great<\/em> example of Galatians 6, where it says, \u201cWhen someone is caught in a trespass, restore them gently so you will not also be tempted.\u201d Rick did a magnificent job of restoring me gently, because that was his heart. His heart wasn\u2019t to ridicule or rebuke; his heart was to restore me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, Rick modeled something there\u2014just in terms of initiative\u2014that I think a lot of guys today shy away from.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re exactly right, Bob. I think a lot of guys, at points, may be fearful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and think, \u201cYou know, the easiest thing to do here is nothing.\u201d So that\u2019s exactly what they do. They don\u2019t realize they may be a key person in that younger man\u2019s life to call him up and out of something that he\u2019s into.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, in fact, one of the reasons that there is not as much mentoring happening as I think all of us would like to see happening is because, I think, guys are a little scared of relationship\u2014a little shy. It\u2019s easier to just go home and watch ESPN than it is to get involved in one another\u2019s lives. We\u2019re going to be exposed \/ we\u2019re going to be found out\u2014we can\u2019t be posers like we all like to be. How do we get over that hurdle so that we can reap the benefits of being engaged with other men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I put a lot of the burden of mentorship back on the prot\u00e9g\u00e9. The reason I say that is because, for anything I\u2019ve ever chased and wanted to learn, I had no trouble finding a guy who would teach me; you know? It\u2019s not because I\u2019m perfect at this\u2014I\u2019m not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what I know is\u2014I remember one of my long-time relationships. I\u2019ve known this guy almost 20 years now, and he\u2019s a great ministry guy\u2014I met him because he spoke at a lunch. He spoke up there and I thought: \u201cMan, he\u2019s pretty good. He\u2019s a good speaker,\u201d\u2014a Christian guy\u2014\u201cHe knows the Bible.\u201d So I called him and said, \u201cCan we have lunch?\u201d You know, I\u2019m not holding myself as the perfect example, but what I am saying is\u2014guys will respond if you genuinely want their help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s important to say, when you called him and said, \u201cCan we have lunch?\u201d you made it easy for him to say, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a guy come to me one time and he said, \u201cWould you mentor me?\u201d Honestly, when he said that, I had these thoughts going on in my head: \u201cFirst of all, I don\u2019t know what exactly you\u2019re asking me to do,\u201d and \u201cIf I say, \u2018Yes,\u2019 to this, I don\u2019t know what kind of a commitment I\u2019m making here,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cI\u2019m not sure what I\u2019m supposed to do. If I say, \u2018Yes,\u2019 I don\u2019t know what Step One is in mentoring you.\u201d And so, I was like, \u201cI don\u2019t know how to answer that!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if he had said: \u201cHey, can we go out to lunch? I\u2019d just like to ask you some questions.\u201d I\u2019m up for that anytime; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you\u2014I went to lunch a couple weeks ago with our former pastor, who was the pastor of our church for 40 years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bob Russell.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Bob Russell, an amazing man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Great guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> He will always give me time if I ask for it. I just asked Bob one question, and I got 90 minutes of advice. Do you know what the question was? \u201cHey, Bob, I\u2019m new at this ministry game. You\u2019ve seen this\u2014you\u2019ve had a wide-angle lens on ministry forever. How can I blow this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got everything from fund-raising, to board development, to personal purity, to you-name-it; right? It was an hour-and-a-half of pure wisdom! It\u2019s not because I\u2019m a genius, but it\u2019s because I\u2019m willing to ask the question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> And I would love to see guys be willing to ask other guys: \u201cHey, man! You know, how did you do what you did?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So who has been the most influential mentor in your life? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Probably one of my early bosses. I\u2019ll say this for a very specific reason\u2014Frank Austin. You know, there are guys who are good at asking questions. You guys do radio, and you ask great questions. He\u2019s like the Mariano Rivera of question-asking; right? [Laughter] I mean, he\u2019s an amazing guy! He does it in a sales context. He\u2019s made a lot of money selling. He taught me how to ask questions, and he taught me how to ask questions in a sequence that, if I needed to get you to do something\u2014if I was trying to sell a product\u2014I could ask you questions in a sequence. But, more importantly, he just taught me to be inquisitive and ask probing questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can sit down with someone, who\u2019s my superior\u2014it\u2019s like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, \u201cEvery man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that, I endeavor to learn.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love that quote, because no matter whomever I meet\u2014if I met a homeless person, who lives on the street, they could teach me how to live on the street; because I don\u2019t know how to do that! So everyone I meet knows something I don\u2019t; and in that, I try to learn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about something there that, if a man is going to be a mentor, he ought to know where his\u2014in baseball terms, we call it the fat part of the bat\u2014where, if the baseball can hit it there, the ball really takes off. Every man, I believe, has got some fat-part-of-the-bat core lessons that they\u2019ve learned in their lifetime that, frankly, they ought to be about passing on to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, that\u2019s a good inventory for any man\u2014especially men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, as they get older\u2014to ask about themselves and take that inventory to know where their messages are, because every man has some life messages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not just a pastor who has life messages \/ it\u2019s not just authors of books who have life messages\u2014everybody has got a story, and everyone has things they can pass on to the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> You know, Dennis, in your book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, you listed a bunch of guys who had poured into you\u2014I\u2019m sure the list was even longer. I think one thing we get wrong about mentorship and prot\u00e9g\u00e9-ship is: \u201cI\u2019ve got to go to Bob, and he\u2019s going to be my <em>only<\/em> mentor. He\u2019s going to give me everything! Man!\u2014finances \/ marriage\u2014you name it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo! I look at it kind of like life. I can learn something from Bob, something from Dennis, something from my father-in-law, something from my brother-in-law. I can pull those things together, and I don\u2019t have to submit to one mentor and put the pressure on that mentor to give me <em>everything<\/em> in life that I need! I looked at your list in the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>,and I thought, \u201cEach of those guys had different things they could teach you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And did. And what I encourage young men to do is to go and ask for a year\u2014once-a-month, a meeting for a year\u2014around a topic or around an area of life that they need to be developed in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, at the end of the year, you can decide, like an insurance policy, if you want to re-up for another year or if you need to go in search of another mentor who may train you in another area.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You share a lot of the people who have mentored you\u2014you share some of the stories in your book. Tell our listeners about Jim Hedley and his impact on your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Man, Jim Hedley is a former owner of a business that I worked at. One time, he and I were traveling in St. Louis. We were at a Chili\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> at the airport\u2014I remember it clearly. I could probably take you guys back to the very table where we sat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob can probably tell you the table that you sat at. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I can tell you what you ordered!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You mentioned two key things in that sentence\u2014you said, \u201crestaurant\u201d and \u201cSt. Louis.\u201d He grew up in St. Louis, and Bob has never met a restaurant he didn\u2019t like. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s fantastic!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s like Mark Twain. Did Mark Twain say that? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t know I stepped on a bomb there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You did! You did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I believe I tripped it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we sat there, Jim was\u2014you talk about intentional question-asking\u2014Jim had the ability to ask you questions, and questions, and questions. It\u2019s almost like, by the time you were done, you were standing over the trap door and\u2014poof!\u2014down you go! He knew, the whole time, he was getting you to the trap door. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Jim did for me that day is\u2014he asked me questions about my family, growing up, and he dove in. Here\u2019s the boss of the company that I\u2019m traveling with, just as a sales guy. It could be intimidating; but he stepped right into my personal life and said, \u201cTell me about your family\u2014about your mom and dad.\u201d I told him. I probably still had a little bit of that disappointment or anger in my voice about my upbringing, to a degree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim said, \u201cDo you know what every dad wants?\u201d He just stopped me. I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d He said: \u201cEvery dad wants his children to know that he did the best he could with what he had. And if you could look back and think about most things your dad did do for you, he might like to hear that sometime.\u201d It was powerful; because I had built this life around what didn\u2019t go right and what wasn\u2019t given to me, as a 13-year-old or 15-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Jim taught me was, \u201cYou should probably go back and think about what he did right.\u201d I wrote my dad a letter, and it was liberating for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Is your dad still alive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> He is indeed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got a little assignment for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Man!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And this is going to be an interesting assignment for you. A number of years ago\u2014and, by the way, this is one of my life messages. I came about it, not because I was looking for it, but I started speaking to high school young men and women, and then, college guys. I began to find out the waters were deep around young men and young ladies and their parents \/ their fathers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI began to speak to that out of the Ten Commandments, which, if you\u2019ll re-read them again, the first four have to do with our relationship with God. Number five has to do with our horizontal relationship with our mother and father\u2014it commands us to honor our parents. I gave a practical project to young men and older men\u2014to write a tribute to their dad \/ to their mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack then, when I developed this message, I asked them to\u2014and challenged them\u2014to typeset it \/ pay to get it typeset, and then pay to get it matted and framed, and then present it at a key holiday, or birthday, or anniversary, or just an occasion that is fitting for that, and read it, face to face, out loud.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I like it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve coached a lot of people on how to do this in the book that you wrote called <em>The Forgotten Commandment.<\/em> And you\u2019ve heard from a lot of people the same thing we just heard from you about the liberation that comes when you step across that line and, instead of holding your parents hostage for the things that they didn\u2019t do perfectly, you give them grace\u2014instead, you honor them for what they did well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019ll do, with our listeners\u2014I\u2019ll read your tribute on air to your dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> I accept the challenge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Alright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So let\u2019s go back to this idea of the need that we have to grow, and how other guys can help us in that, and then how God can use us in the lives of others. Somebody listening today needs an action point from this program. Would you say the action point ought to be to seek out a lunch with somebody you respect and just ask them a couple of questions? Is that how you start this process?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Yes; I think you could start there. I think one step\u2014that you could even do first\u2014would be: \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u201d One of the reasons I was attracted to that gentleman, who was speaking, was because I wanted to speak in public in a way that was not, you know, clumsy and horrible. I was attracted to him because I knew that was part of what I wanted my future to include. So I would say you can start with the lunch and just start out, right out of the gate. I would say you could also make a short list of two, or three, or four things that you want to get better at. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, there\u2019s a guy across the street from me, guys, whose yard is perfect! Now, I don\u2019t really care that my yard be perfect; but if I <em>did, <\/em>I could walk across the street and get Dan to tell me, all day long, how to have a perfect lawn. So, for me, because I don\u2019t really care about the yard being perfect, I don\u2019t need to go talk to Dan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for me, there\u2019s a step before that that says: \u201cWhat do you want to do? Do you want a better marriage? Do you want better finances? Do you want to be a better dad? Would you like to be a better son, like Dennis was pointing out a moment ago?\u201d Fine! Identify those things, and then you\u2019ll start to see people who are that way. If I want to be a better golfer, all of a sudden, I\u2019m going to notice the guy who has a shirt on that has a country club [logo] on the side. It\u2019s just that God\u2019s going to work like that. I am going to say: \u201cAha! You can teach me how to be a better golfer.\u201d So I think there is a part of this that is just: \u201cGuys, what do you want to do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That reminds me of a proverb I heard one time: \u201cYou can\u2019t raise grass and kids simultaneously.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> Beautiful! Amen to that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You had a man who impacted your life, who has been a guest here on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>He gives leadership to TrailLife USA, which is a ministry to boys\u2014dads reaching down to the lives of boys and forming kind of scout groups of sorts. Mark Hancock had an impact on your life that was indelible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> You\u2019ve probably experienced this, Dennis, where you have people who want to corner you on doctrinal issues. They want to have a debate about something in Scripture. I don\u2019t like those debates. I think we end up pretty bad, and I don\u2019t know that we approach them very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, I got a question at a TrailLife event, where we were exhibiting as a vendor. This question was doctrinally-related. Later, I asked Mark Hancock\u2014bumped into him in the hall\u2014and he has become a cherished friend and a true ally in the ministry fight. Mark and his son happened to walk by, and I had one of my teenaged sons nearby. I said: \u201cMark, what do you do with doctrinally-divisive issues. How do you handle those?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInstead of answering the question, he turned to his son and said, \u201cYou know, I have some ideas; but why don\u2019t you tell Mr. Evans what you think first.\u201d In an instant, I learned four or five lessons--right then!--deference, humility, letting a young man give his best answer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, after his young son answered\u2014which, by the way, incidentally, was an <em>amazingly<\/em> articulate and intelligent answer\u2014Mark just said, \u201cMan, that\u2019s a great point.\u201d Then Mark added one idea that he had that did not compete with or overrule what his son said. It was a <em>masterful<\/em> move in how to bring your son into a conversation of manhood that another man was having. It was beautiful. I learned a lot in just a split second.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I want to exhort every man with a couple of points. Every man listening to this broadcast--whether you\u2019re a teenager or whether you\u2019re a grandfather\u2014every man, listening to us, needs a mentor. You need to have someone that you have named who is building into your life. Then the second thing I want to say\u2014to every teenager, and to every man in between to that of a sage, in the twilight years\u2014is every man needs to <em>be<\/em> a mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the question is: \u201cWho\u2019s your mentor?\u201d And the second question is: \u201cWho are you mentoring?\u201d You ought to be able to name them. You ought to have a couple of guys that you\u2019re building into. For a teenager, you just need to reach down into junior high or into the freshman class of your high school. There are young men who need to be mentored, who need an older guy to look after them and take their influence, as an upperclassman, and make it count for something for Christ. You can have a <em>big<\/em> impact in a young man\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of us who are a bit older, we need to look back over the landscape and think: \u201cWhat\u2019s my contribution here? How do I do this? What\u2019s the best way to do this in the lives of the men that I know?\u201d Then make yourself available. If you make yourself available to young men, I\u2019m going to tell you\u2014God will use you in a powerful way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And one of the things you\u2019ve modeled well\u2014and that I think a lot of us have learned from you\u2014is that, in that role, don\u2019t just talk about your successes; but talk about what you\u2019ve learned from where you\u2019ve messed up in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Some of the most powerful lessons we can pass on to others are the lessons of our failures and how we can help them avoid stepping in the same potholes we\u2019ve stepped in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Kent, I just appreciate you and your book, <em>Wise Guys,<\/em> doing that repeatedly\u2014not only talking about some things that you know a lot about that are successes and what you\u2019re modeling\u2014but also the humility to share, out of your defeats, those lessons you\u2019ve learned. I just appreciate you \/ I appreciate the book. I hope a lot of guys will not just listen to today\u2019s broadcast and go: \u201cThat was entertaining. That was good\u201d; but I hope they will do something about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thank you for being on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> I hope you\u2019ll come back and join us again sometime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kent:<\/strong> It\u2019s my pleasure. Thank you, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And let me just say that one of the things guys can do in response to today\u2019s program is to get a copy of your book\u2014it\u2019s called <em>Wise Guys: Unlocking Hidden Wisdom from the Men Around You.<\/em> We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy. This would be great for a group of men to go through together. Again, the book is called <em>Wise Guys<\/em> by Kent Evans. Order from FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention Dennis\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>\u2014another great book for guys to go through together. There\u2019s a companion video series \/ a ten-part video series you can go through as well. You\u2019ll find all of these resources on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Or order when you call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA quick word of thanks to those of you who make this daily program possible\u2014what you\u2019re actually doing, when you contribute to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014you\u2019re enabling these kinds of conversations to, not only happen, but you\u2019re making it possible for them to be heard by more and more people every year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not only heard on local Christian radio\u2014but now, via podcast, through our mobile app, through web-streaming on our website, on our Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page. More people are engaging with <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>than ever. You help make that possible when you support this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to express our thanks to you by sending you a set of Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a great tool designed for you to be able to share the Easter story with your children or your grandchildren in a fun and creative way. You can donate at FamilyLifeToday.com \/ you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Or if you\u2019d prefer, you can mail your donation, along with your request for the Resurrection Eggs, to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to start getting you ready for what ought to be the biggest celebration your family has all year as we get ready for the coming of Easter. Barbara Rainey will be here to talk about how you can be prepared and things moms and dads can do so that the kids look at Easter differently in your home. I hope you can tune in for that on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. 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