{"id":304424,"date":"2017-03-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-03-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/equipping-leaders-in-the-local-church\/"},"modified":"2017-03-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-03-17T15:00:00","slug":"equipping-leaders-in-the-local-church","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/equipping-leaders-in-the-local-church\/","title":{"rendered":"Equipping Leaders in the Local Church"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Bob Lepine, and Ron Deal provide solid biblical answers on questions concerning different ministry opportunities for lay-people within the church.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-17.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.9M","filesize_raw":"26109066","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2867,2821],"tags":[6226,6227],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3052,3142,3048,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304424","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-involvement","category-reaching-out","tag-equipping-leaders-in-the-church","tag-raising-a-new-generation-of-leaders","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-bob-lepine","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304424\/equipping-leaders-in-the-local-church","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304424\/equipping-leaders-in-the-local-church","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"7jyuNkq5R5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/equipping-leaders-in-the-local-church\/\">Equipping Leaders in the Local Church<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/equipping-leaders-in-the-local-church\/embed\/#?secret=7jyuNkq5R5\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Equipping Leaders in the Local Church&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"7jyuNkq5R5\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When there has been a major breach in a marriage relationship, it\u2019s going to take some time before there can be true reconciliation. Here are Ron Deal and Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> The guy who says, \u201cOkay; forgive me and get over it,\u201d is not really repentant. He doesn\u2019t understand the depth of the pain that he has caused to his wife in that scenario.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Usually, where there\u2019s sin, like infidelity or pornography, it\u2019s layered\u2014the deceit is layered. As a result, we have to give time for the relationship to peel it out and to repent all the way through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If you had a chance to sit down with Dennis and Barbara Rainey or Ron Deal\u2014or any of us, here at FamilyLife\u2014and ask a hard question, what would it be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what happened recently as we got together with some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. You\u2019ll hear how it went today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know what? We have some of the best listeners of any Christian radio program\u2014I don\u2019t know the other programs\u2019 listeners\u2014I just know. I\u2019m going to be out, in a couple of weeks, at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways, speaking in Branson, Missouri. I will get a chance to see <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners \/ Legacy Partners, who help support the ministry. It\u2019s so much fun to meet these folks. It\u2019s just always a great time to get together with them!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is! Barbara and I are going to be in Atlanta toward the end of April at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway with friends, Crawford and Karen Loritts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJeff Patton\u2019s going to join us, who\u2019s a pastor of a church outside of Nashville. We\u2019re going to have a great time, Bob. It is great to meet our listeners. I agree with you\u2014I just always enjoy meeting them. In fact, we were with a bunch of them last summer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014in San Diego\u2014had a chance just to spend a couple of days with them and say: \u201cThanks for being Legacy Partners. Thanks for being stakeholders in this ministry.\u201d We got a chance to have some Q&amp;A with those listeners. Bob, it was a real privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They asked great questions. They asked questions about stuff they deal with in their marriage and their family, but they also asked questions about what we\u2019re doing as a ministry. They believe in our mission to effectively develop godly marriages and families who change the world, one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe thought our listeners might enjoy hearing you, and me, and Barbara as we responded\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and Ron Deal, by the way, was there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014heads up our blended family outreach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. We thought it would be good for listeners to hear the conversations we had as we were with some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Legacy Partners\u2019 Q&amp;A Time]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Spencer:<\/strong> My name is Spencer. I\u2019m wondering if you have some thoughts\u2014in today\u2019s culture, we have young men who\u2014maybe it\u2019s the Millennial-thing or whatever\u2014but they are struggling to launch. Great kids\u2014a lot of them\u2014but lacking initiative. I know a lot of parents, who join us in the struggle of: \u201cHow do I encourage these young men, without infusing upon them a culture of achievement, that\u2019s really contrary to the gospel?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great question. Do you want to take a stab at that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think the problem starts when they\u2019re in junior high and high school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do not believe we are challenging our youth to truly be Christ-followers and counter-cultural in their faith, then\u2014when they\u2019re at home, with their friends, in the culture\u2014so that they are running against the grain and into the grain, as young people growing up, at home, where parents can coach their kids in their faith when they fail and help them get back up. As a result, when they graduate from high school, they\u2019re not on mission. A lot of young people today are leaving the church after 18, 19\/20\u2014they\u2019re abandoning the church. I think it\u2019s because their parents didn\u2019t help them establish the right mission when they were at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happens is\u2014as they grow up into their 20s\u2014and we see young men extending adolescence into the 20s and 30s\u2014they\u2019re allowed to not have responsibility when they need to be assuming adult responsibilities and an adult mission\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and frankly, be about the King\u2019s business, and be rolling up their sleeves, and running to the finish line. I think we\u2019ve allowed this to happen. Parents, I think, have become\u2014at points \/ not every time\u2014have become enablers. They\u2019ve allowed their kids to land at home \/ stay at home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying that everybody ought to do this\u2014but when our kids were seniors in college, we would have some kind of conversation with them that basically said: \u201cYou\u2019re about to graduate. I want you to know that we\u2019ve been helping you get through school. You\u2019ve been hammering out some of your own standard of living issues, as a young adult. But when you graduate, you\u2019ve got a three-month period in there when you can stay at home \/ you can be there. But we need you to begin to think about where you\u2019re going to go to work, where you\u2019re going to live, \u201cWhat\u2019s your mission? What are you doing?\u201d\u2014and continue to expand what they\u2019ve been about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we didn\u2019t do that perfectly; we had some kids who struggled. But we\u2019ve watched too many kids be bailed out by their parents\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I think allowed to extend adolescence out into their 20s and 30s; especially young men. As a result\u2014here\u2019s the kicker\u2014today, we have the oldest age for young men getting married in the history of our nation. Some of that\u2019s because of co-habitation\u2014they\u2019re taking on the benefits of marriage without the commitment. But I think some of it is a lack of having a mission \/ a lack of being challenged to assume adult responsibilities.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ll just add to that\u2014I think, to Dennis\u2019s point, introducing graduated levels of responsibility when you\u2019re kids are growing up, so that all along, as they\u2019re growing, they\u2019re learning to assume responsibility. When our kids were, I think, 12 years old, we went to them and said: \u201cYou\u2019re going to start buying your own clothes. We\u2019re going to give you an allowance at the beginning of the year, and then, if you want the nice tennis shoes, it\u2019s your call. Out of the allowance that we give you and whatever you want to add to it, you can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBut when you run out of underwear, you\u2019re going to be buying that too. And you\u2019re going to be buying gifts for other family members during the holidays.\u201d We wanted them, while they were still at home, to make some mistakes around how they handled money, but to assume responsibility for those actions so that they were ready for that by the time they got to college and beyond. I think introducing those graduated levels of responsibility so that they own that will help them thrive when the responsibility comes on their shoulders.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I\u2019ll just add that Matt Chandler, who is a pastor in Dallas\u2014we interviewed him for the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series and asked him about this whole issue of failure to launch guys. Matt said most of the guys he talks to\u2014who are in their late 20s and they\u2019re not really sure what to do\u2014he said: \u201cThey\u2019re not proud of that! These guys are not guys who are excited that they\u2019re playing video games until late at night.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said: \u201cSo shaming them out of that is not the way to try to get them to do it. You have to help cast a vision for them, and you have to try to assist them without being the full impetus behind it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just with a young man, and we were on an extended trip together. I was saying: \u201cWhere do you see yourself five years from today? What\u2019s your path to get there? If you could do anything\u2026\u201d\u2014I was having those kinds of conversations and questions, just to spark his thinking. Then I realized, in my conversation with him, there\u2019s a point where you\u2019ve got to kind of back off and let it be his ownership of all of that and not be guiding too hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think we can get with these 27-, 28-, 29-year-old guys and say, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about your future, and about where you want to be, and about how you can really fulfill \u2018the good works that God created beforehand that you should walk in them.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We did the same thing that Bob and Mary Ann did with our kids about allowances, and they started buying their own clothes too. They knew that our allowance was not going to be enough to buy the kinds of things they wanted to buy to keep up with their friends at school. So they needed to find employment elsewhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got all of our kids working for Chick-Fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> when they turned 14. Now, I\u2019ve just learned that that doesn\u2019t work in all states; because not all states allow kids to start working at 14\u2014but ours did at the time. All of our kids started working at 14. It was <em>so<\/em> good for them to have to learn to please somebody besides their parents and to have to reach expectations for somebody besides mom and dad. They learned <em>so<\/em> much in that work environment, besides just making money that could help them afford what they wanted to buy. So that was a really good lesson for them \/ it was a good experience for them. We processed it, because they were doing it while they were living at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Next question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> My name is Rod, from Albuquerque. Rose and I have really been thriving in our relationship because of the materials that FamilyLife has provided. We\u2019re involved in <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> \/ we\u2019re involved in <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We want to spur one another on\u2014we want to spur others on without beating them up. So here\u2019s what we see\u2014we see a lot of people who have the desire and the need, but they just don\u2019t seem to quite step up to the opportunity to get involved in these things. What can you give us that will help us to spur one another on without beating one another up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I would encourage you\u2014and I know you already are on this\u2014be on mission \/ on task yourself. And then just hemorrhage over people what God\u2019s doing. I mean, why would you want to eat a hot dog when you could have halibut?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I can tell you. [Laughter] Put a little chili and cheese on that dog\u2014\u201cWhooo!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> You could try it with a filet. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Filet\u2014now, filet\u2014I can go with filet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Or how about blackened salmon, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, your blackened salmon\u2019s pretty special\u2014yes, that\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But, you know, here\u2019s the thing\u2014Jesus called a lot of guys. Some of them withdrew and \u201cfollowed him no more.\u201d We\u2019ve got to give people the freedom to not get it <em>yet<\/em>, but don\u2019t lose heart and don\u2019t give up on them. Sometimes, they need a guy like you to get in their grill and say: \u201cLet\u2019s go! Come on!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we live in the most opportunistic age that may have ever existed in the history of humankind. The family is in serious trouble; and our country, as a result, is in serious trouble. What\u2019s the best way to do battle? If there\u2019s another way to attack it more strategically and spiritually than the family, then go do it! But if you can\u2019t find a better way, then get on the field\u2014get on the ground \/ get in the game\u2014and commission people to go after it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow many <em>Art of Marriages<\/em> have you guys held?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> We\u2019ve done 20, and we have 3 more in the works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and this is after how many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> Four years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Four years. You knew <em>nothing<\/em> about our ministry five years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So the rest of you guys are just weenies; okay? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014with chili on them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Chili and cheese; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it was you who said someone gave you the advice: \u201cFind the people who want to go and go with it. Move with the movers.\u201d So; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; a follow-up question. We\u2019ll take one more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> It\u2019s funny because\u2014having done so many classes with my husband, one of the biggest things that come out of them is infidelity and pornography and the impact those have on relationships. Of course, my husband, you know, talks to the men \/ I talk to the women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the challenges for the women is\u2014when the men have been unfaithful\u2014is: \u201cHow do you forgive? How do you get beyond that?\u201d You know, it\u2019s <em>me<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s praying and encouraging them\u2014but beyond that, do you have any more answers on how to address those concerns?\u2014because\u00a0 <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>, oftentimes, that\u2019s when the wounds open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s reminding them that they didn\u2019t get there overnight\u2014so it\u2019s referencing the Joel verse\u2014that it takes time for God to rebuild what they destroyed. It will happen, but it\u2019s being patient. I think it is repeating forgiveness. As couples get to know what this sin \/ what this destruction has caused, there are more and more opportunities to ask for forgiveness. I think it\u2019s coaching them with the long view in mind. I think what you\u2019re saying is exactly the right thing\u2014I think it\u2019s just helping them through that process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think we can\u2019t cheapen sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We can\u2019t make repentance cheap \/ we can\u2019t make it this flip of the switch. Usually, where there\u2019s sin like infidelity or pornography, it\u2019s layered\u2014the deceit is layered. As a result, we have to give time for the relationship to peel it out and to repent all the way through. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt every turn, a wife has got to be allowed to be human. I mean, we\u2019ve seen situations\u2014and I know Bob has, too, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014where a woman will come up and say, \u201cMy husband has confessed an affair, and he\u2019s just wanting me to forgive and move on.\u201d Well, he\u2019s dumped out years of unfaithfulness out on the table and expects her to flip a switch in a week\u2014that\u2019s not going to happen. There has to be the, I think, third-party coaching, mentoring, encouraging back to the Bible\u2014as Barbara was talking about\u2014to forgive and what forgiveness looks like when you\u2019re tempted to become bitter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the person who is repenting has to bring forth the fruits of repentance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m just going to ask Ron Deal\u2014would you mind standing up and just speaking to that?\u2014because Ron has done thousands of hours of counseling, and you\u2019ve hit this situation a lot. What\u2019s your coaching here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Let me just start by saying, \u201cAmen,\u201d to what\u2019s been said already. It is multi-layered. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the difficulties with any sort of confession--infidelity, pornography, or some sort of betrayal\u2014is you have the immediate fallout, and then, you have the long-term recovery. Those are two different things. In the immediate fallout, they often have to live on borrowed hope. How do you give them borrowed hope? Well, one of the ways you do that is\u2014in a church context \/ a small group context\u2014if you have another couple who has survived, match them up \/ pair them up. Let that couple be vulnerable in the group setting so that the couple that is hurting is seeing: \u201cOkay, they made it. I guess we can make it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI don\u2019t know how we\u2019re going to make it, but I guess it\u2019s possible.\u201d We\u2019re doing everything we can to just lend them some hope while they don\u2019t even know how to see the day and deal with the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen you begin peeling off those layers\u2014you know: \u201cWhat happened? How it \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thappened \/ what it means.\u201d The long-term recovery is developing a new track record. For the guy who says, \u201cOkay; forgive me and get over it,\u201d is not really repentant. He does not really understand the depth of the pain that he has caused to his wife in that scenario\u2014so working with him to be able to articulate his understanding of her pain shows her he\u2019s getting it. By the way, he probably won\u2019t get much of it. He\u2019ll get a little bit, and then a little bit, and then a little bit. That means humbling himself over, and over, and over, and over, and over. That\u2019s what he doesn\u2019t want to do\u2014that\u2019s the hard part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that, eventually, begins to help her see that maybe he gets it. And if he gets it, then maybe he won\u2019t do it anymore. She may be able to forgive him, but trust is a totally different thing; right? So \u201cI forgive you,\u201d first \/ \u201cNow, I\u2019ve got to decide how I trust you.\u201d Trust comes only when he shows her a new track record of behavior. That then lends her heart to soften more over time, and then she can begin to move toward him <em>if<\/em> and when that happens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that\u2019s a whole lot of <em>ifs<\/em>; right? So, in the meantime, what are we doing? We\u2019re lending them hope. We\u2019re showing them people who have made it. We\u2019re standing with them, and crying with them, and being compassionate about all the pain\u2014helping them learn how to just try to be patient, and hold on, and not give up. Slowly, over time\u2014and I mean, sometimes years, depending upon the level of the betrayal \/ years\u2014they can get there as long as both of them remain in that posture of humility and just trying to walk it out, day in and day out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In the midst of the pain, you can\u2019t necessarily have a conversation like this\u2014but at some point\u2014you can sit down with somebody and say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s where you are. Let\u2019s talk about where you\u2019d like to be five years from today; because where you are today, there are really two paths you can go on. One path is to try to seek to pursue reconciliation and have, five years from today, a marriage where you can share with others about the power of God to bring\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0restoration and to do a healing work: \u201cIt will be powerful and amazing, like this couple,\u201d or \u201c\u2026like this couple,\u201d\u2014others you can point to\u2014to Ron\u2019s point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can be on a path that, five years from today, you\u2019ll be in separate cities. When it\u2019s time for the kids\u2019 marriages, you get together\u2014and it\u2019s awkward\u2014and where the kids are always dealing with the scars of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got a choice you can make here today about which path you want to set out on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, you can\u2019t do it in the midst of the pain, because that feels insensitive. But, at some point, you can try to say: \u201cThere are two options before you. Which path do you want to be on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to a conversation we had with some listeners, back last summer\u2014some great questions tossed our way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Bob, could you have imagined, back in 1992, when you started <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and began to coach me on how to pronounce words and correct my grammar and English. [Laughter] And all of the torture I\u2019ve been through all of these 25 years\u2014could you have imagined\u2014no; I\u2019m not going to live there \/ I\u2019m going to forgive you for all of that! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCould you have imagined that we would have had the privilege, for 25 years, to touch literally millions\u2014maybe tens of millions\u2014of lives\/people?\u2014not only here in America\u2014but because this broadcast is heard in more than three dozen countries and in multiple languages around the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s just fun to meet a listener \/ it really is cool to meet a listener! Can I tell you my favorite meet-a-listener story? I may have shared this; so stop me if I\u2019ve done this. [Laughter] If you\u2019re a listener and you\u2019ve heard me share this, just call the 800-number and say, \u201cYou\u2019ve told it before!!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just tweet us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara and I went to do a series of meetings in Fiji. That\u2019s right\u2014it was Fiji. I know what you\u2019re thinking, but it was a lot of work. We spoke at high schools. We did marriage and family conferences\u2014<em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> all over the country. It was a great privilege to serve Peta and Mary Nathuba, former Speaker of the House of Parliament of Fiji, who now heads up FamilyLife there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, when we finished, Peta and Mary said, \u201cWe want to treat you to a couple of days off on an island.\u201d Fiji has over 300 islands. They set us up at this beautiful island called Castaway. You can look it up online\u2014really pretty cool! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were sitting there, having dinner. Our waiter, whose name, I believe, was Samson, looked at us kind of funny at a point and he said, \u201cMay I ask you a question?\u201d I said, \u201cSure.\u201d He said, \u201cWho are you?\u201d [Laughter] Now, I\u2019ve had this happen in WalMart<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, here in America.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had it happen in Alaska, on top of a mountain, with meeting people; but in a foreign country?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes\u2014on an island in Fiji\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Samson said: \u201cI\u2019ve been listening to your broadcast on another island, where my family lives. I just want to thank you for what you and Bob do for families all over the world. I listen every day.\u201d And he takes a boat! He has to take a boat from his island to get to work. We fellowshipped there for a few seconds and laughed about that. It is like: \u201cWhat a <em>small<\/em> world!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want to say: \u201cThank you. Thank you,\u201d to the Legacy Partners and the donors to this ministry\u2014who make a ministry to people of every nation \/ maybe every tribe; who knows?!\u2014ministering to the most basic unit of every civilization\u2014the family. What a privilege to take the gospel of Jesus Christ to the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The money our listeners invest is money that goes to expanding the reach of this ministry. It goes to taking this message to more and more people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s been that for 25 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As you can help us today with a donation, what you\u2019re actually doing is helping more people hear practical biblical help and hope for their marriage relationship. We want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners. Your monthly support gives this ministry a financial backbone. It doesn\u2019t cover all of the expenses, but it does give us a solid base that we can build on. We\u2019re so grateful for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, or if you\u2019d like to join the Legacy Partner team and start providing regular monthly support for this broadcast ministry, go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com and make an online donation. When you do, we\u2019d love to send you a set of FamilyLife\u2019s popular Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a tool to help you explain the message of Jesus\u2019 death and resurrection to younger children. It\u2019s our gift to you when you donate at FamilyLifeToday.com, or when you call 1-800-FLTODAY to donate. Or you can mail your donation and request your Resurrection Eggs. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today. I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen join us back on Monday. Our friend, Gary Thomas, is going to be here. We\u2019re going to talk about a word that you probably used with your spouse on your wedding day. You may have forgotten a little bit about what it was you promised. We\u2019ll talk about how we are to cherish one another coming up Monday. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.9M"],"filesize_raw":["26109066"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304424.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304424.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Barbara Rainey, Bob Lepine, and Ron Deal provide solid biblical answers on questions concerning different ministry opportunities for lay-people within the church.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When there has been a major breach in a marriage relationship, it\u2019s going to take some time before there can be true reconciliation. Here are Ron Deal and Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> The guy who says, \u201cOkay; forgive me and get over it,\u201d is not really repentant. He doesn\u2019t understand the depth of the pain that he has caused to his wife in that scenario.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Usually, where there\u2019s sin, like infidelity or pornography, it\u2019s layered\u2014the deceit is layered. As a result, we have to give time for the relationship to peel it out and to repent all the way through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If you had a chance to sit down with Dennis and Barbara Rainey or Ron Deal\u2014or any of us, here at FamilyLife\u2014and ask a hard question, what would it be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what happened recently as we got together with some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners. You\u2019ll hear how it went today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know what? We have some of the best listeners of any Christian radio program\u2014I don\u2019t know the other programs\u2019 listeners\u2014I just know. I\u2019m going to be out, in a couple of weeks, at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways, speaking in Branson, Missouri. I will get a chance to see <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners \/ Legacy Partners, who help support the ministry. It\u2019s so much fun to meet these folks. It\u2019s just always a great time to get together with them!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is! Barbara and I are going to be in Atlanta toward the end of April at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway with friends, Crawford and Karen Loritts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJeff Patton\u2019s going to join us, who\u2019s a pastor of a church outside of Nashville. We\u2019re going to have a great time, Bob. It is great to meet our listeners. I agree with you\u2014I just always enjoy meeting them. In fact, we were with a bunch of them last summer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014in San Diego\u2014had a chance just to spend a couple of days with them and say: \u201cThanks for being Legacy Partners. Thanks for being stakeholders in this ministry.\u201d We got a chance to have some Q&amp;A with those listeners. Bob, it was a real privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They asked great questions. They asked questions about stuff they deal with in their marriage and their family, but they also asked questions about what we\u2019re doing as a ministry. They believe in our mission to effectively develop godly marriages and families who change the world, one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe thought our listeners might enjoy hearing you, and me, and Barbara as we responded\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014and Ron Deal, by the way, was there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014heads up our blended family outreach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. We thought it would be good for listeners to hear the conversations we had as we were with some <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Legacy Partners\u2019 Q&amp;A Time]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Spencer:<\/strong> My name is Spencer. I\u2019m wondering if you have some thoughts\u2014in today\u2019s culture, we have young men who\u2014maybe it\u2019s the Millennial-thing or whatever\u2014but they are struggling to launch. Great kids\u2014a lot of them\u2014but lacking initiative. I know a lot of parents, who join us in the struggle of: \u201cHow do I encourage these young men, without infusing upon them a culture of achievement, that\u2019s really contrary to the gospel?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great question. Do you want to take a stab at that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think the problem starts when they\u2019re in junior high and high school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do not believe we are challenging our youth to truly be Christ-followers and counter-cultural in their faith, then\u2014when they\u2019re at home, with their friends, in the culture\u2014so that they are running against the grain and into the grain, as young people growing up, at home, where parents can coach their kids in their faith when they fail and help them get back up. As a result, when they graduate from high school, they\u2019re not on mission. A lot of young people today are leaving the church after 18, 19\/20\u2014they\u2019re abandoning the church. I think it\u2019s because their parents didn\u2019t help them establish the right mission when they were at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happens is\u2014as they grow up into their 20s\u2014and we see young men extending adolescence into the 20s and 30s\u2014they\u2019re allowed to not have responsibility when they need to be assuming adult responsibilities and an adult mission\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and frankly, be about the King\u2019s business, and be rolling up their sleeves, and running to the finish line. I think we\u2019ve allowed this to happen. Parents, I think, have become\u2014at points \/ not every time\u2014have become enablers. They\u2019ve allowed their kids to land at home \/ stay at home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying that everybody ought to do this\u2014but when our kids were seniors in college, we would have some kind of conversation with them that basically said: \u201cYou\u2019re about to graduate. I want you to know that we\u2019ve been helping you get through school. You\u2019ve been hammering out some of your own standard of living issues, as a young adult. But when you graduate, you\u2019ve got a three-month period in there when you can stay at home \/ you can be there. But we need you to begin to think about where you\u2019re going to go to work, where you\u2019re going to live, \u201cWhat\u2019s your mission? What are you doing?\u201d\u2014and continue to expand what they\u2019ve been about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we didn\u2019t do that perfectly; we had some kids who struggled. But we\u2019ve watched too many kids be bailed out by their parents\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and I think allowed to extend adolescence out into their 20s and 30s; especially young men. As a result\u2014here\u2019s the kicker\u2014today, we have the oldest age for young men getting married in the history of our nation. Some of that\u2019s because of co-habitation\u2014they\u2019re taking on the benefits of marriage without the commitment. But I think some of it is a lack of having a mission \/ a lack of being challenged to assume adult responsibilities.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ll just add to that\u2014I think, to Dennis\u2019s point, introducing graduated levels of responsibility when you\u2019re kids are growing up, so that all along, as they\u2019re growing, they\u2019re learning to assume responsibility. When our kids were, I think, 12 years old, we went to them and said: \u201cYou\u2019re going to start buying your own clothes. We\u2019re going to give you an allowance at the beginning of the year, and then, if you want the nice tennis shoes, it\u2019s your call. Out of the allowance that we give you and whatever you want to add to it, you can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBut when you run out of underwear, you\u2019re going to be buying that too. And you\u2019re going to be buying gifts for other family members during the holidays.\u201d We wanted them, while they were still at home, to make some mistakes around how they handled money, but to assume responsibility for those actions so that they were ready for that by the time they got to college and beyond. I think introducing those graduated levels of responsibility so that they own that will help them thrive when the responsibility comes on their shoulders.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I\u2019ll just add that Matt Chandler, who is a pastor in Dallas\u2014we interviewed him for the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series and asked him about this whole issue of failure to launch guys. Matt said most of the guys he talks to\u2014who are in their late 20s and they\u2019re not really sure what to do\u2014he said: \u201cThey\u2019re not proud of that! These guys are not guys who are excited that they\u2019re playing video games until late at night.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said: \u201cSo shaming them out of that is not the way to try to get them to do it. You have to help cast a vision for them, and you have to try to assist them without being the full impetus behind it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just with a young man, and we were on an extended trip together. I was saying: \u201cWhere do you see yourself five years from today? What\u2019s your path to get there? If you could do anything\u2026\u201d\u2014I was having those kinds of conversations and questions, just to spark his thinking. Then I realized, in my conversation with him, there\u2019s a point where you\u2019ve got to kind of back off and let it be his ownership of all of that and not be guiding too hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think we can get with these 27-, 28-, 29-year-old guys and say, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about your future, and about where you want to be, and about how you can really fulfill \u2018the good works that God created beforehand that you should walk in them.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> We did the same thing that Bob and Mary Ann did with our kids about allowances, and they started buying their own clothes too. They knew that our allowance was not going to be enough to buy the kinds of things they wanted to buy to keep up with their friends at school. So they needed to find employment elsewhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got all of our kids working for Chick-Fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> when they turned 14. Now, I\u2019ve just learned that that doesn\u2019t work in all states; because not all states allow kids to start working at 14\u2014but ours did at the time. All of our kids started working at 14. It was <em>so<\/em> good for them to have to learn to please somebody besides their parents and to have to reach expectations for somebody besides mom and dad. They learned <em>so<\/em> much in that work environment, besides just making money that could help them afford what they wanted to buy. So that was a really good lesson for them \/ it was a good experience for them. We processed it, because they were doing it while they were living at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Next question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> My name is Rod, from Albuquerque. Rose and I have really been thriving in our relationship because of the materials that FamilyLife has provided. We\u2019re involved in <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> \/ we\u2019re involved in <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We want to spur one another on\u2014we want to spur others on without beating them up. So here\u2019s what we see\u2014we see a lot of people who have the desire and the need, but they just don\u2019t seem to quite step up to the opportunity to get involved in these things. What can you give us that will help us to spur one another on without beating one another up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I would encourage you\u2014and I know you already are on this\u2014be on mission \/ on task yourself. And then just hemorrhage over people what God\u2019s doing. I mean, why would you want to eat a hot dog when you could have halibut?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I can tell you. [Laughter] Put a little chili and cheese on that dog\u2014\u201cWhooo!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> You could try it with a filet. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Filet\u2014now, filet\u2014I can go with filet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Or how about blackened salmon, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, your blackened salmon\u2019s pretty special\u2014yes, that\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But, you know, here\u2019s the thing\u2014Jesus called a lot of guys. Some of them withdrew and \u201cfollowed him no more.\u201d We\u2019ve got to give people the freedom to not get it <em>yet<\/em>, but don\u2019t lose heart and don\u2019t give up on them. Sometimes, they need a guy like you to get in their grill and say: \u201cLet\u2019s go! Come on!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we live in the most opportunistic age that may have ever existed in the history of humankind. The family is in serious trouble; and our country, as a result, is in serious trouble. What\u2019s the best way to do battle? If there\u2019s another way to attack it more strategically and spiritually than the family, then go do it! But if you can\u2019t find a better way, then get on the field\u2014get on the ground \/ get in the game\u2014and commission people to go after it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow many <em>Art of Marriages<\/em> have you guys held?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> We\u2019ve done 20, and we have 3 more in the works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and this is after how many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> Four years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Four years. You knew <em>nothing<\/em> about our ministry five years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rod:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So the rest of you guys are just weenies; okay? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014with chili on them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Chili and cheese; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think it was you who said someone gave you the advice: \u201cFind the people who want to go and go with it. Move with the movers.\u201d So; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; a follow-up question. We\u2019ll take one more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female:<\/strong> It\u2019s funny because\u2014having done so many classes with my husband, one of the biggest things that come out of them is infidelity and pornography and the impact those have on relationships. Of course, my husband, you know, talks to the men \/ I talk to the women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the challenges for the women is\u2014when the men have been unfaithful\u2014is: \u201cHow do you forgive? How do you get beyond that?\u201d You know, it\u2019s <em>me<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s praying and encouraging them\u2014but beyond that, do you have any more answers on how to address those concerns?\u2014because\u00a0 <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>, oftentimes, that\u2019s when the wounds open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s reminding them that they didn\u2019t get there overnight\u2014so it\u2019s referencing the Joel verse\u2014that it takes time for God to rebuild what they destroyed. It will happen, but it\u2019s being patient. I think it is repeating forgiveness. As couples get to know what this sin \/ what this destruction has caused, there are more and more opportunities to ask for forgiveness. I think it\u2019s coaching them with the long view in mind. I think what you\u2019re saying is exactly the right thing\u2014I think it\u2019s just helping them through that process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think we can\u2019t cheapen sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We can\u2019t make repentance cheap \/ we can\u2019t make it this flip of the switch. Usually, where there\u2019s sin like infidelity or pornography, it\u2019s layered\u2014the deceit is layered. As a result, we have to give time for the relationship to peel it out and to repent all the way through. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt every turn, a wife has got to be allowed to be human. I mean, we\u2019ve seen situations\u2014and I know Bob has, too, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014where a woman will come up and say, \u201cMy husband has confessed an affair, and he\u2019s just wanting me to forgive and move on.\u201d Well, he\u2019s dumped out years of unfaithfulness out on the table and expects her to flip a switch in a week\u2014that\u2019s not going to happen. There has to be the, I think, third-party coaching, mentoring, encouraging back to the Bible\u2014as Barbara was talking about\u2014to forgive and what forgiveness looks like when you\u2019re tempted to become bitter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the person who is repenting has to bring forth the fruits of repentance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m just going to ask Ron Deal\u2014would you mind standing up and just speaking to that?\u2014because Ron has done thousands of hours of counseling, and you\u2019ve hit this situation a lot. What\u2019s your coaching here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Let me just start by saying, \u201cAmen,\u201d to what\u2019s been said already. It is multi-layered. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the difficulties with any sort of confession--infidelity, pornography, or some sort of betrayal\u2014is you have the immediate fallout, and then, you have the long-term recovery. Those are two different things. In the immediate fallout, they often have to live on borrowed hope. How do you give them borrowed hope? Well, one of the ways you do that is\u2014in a church context \/ a small group context\u2014if you have another couple who has survived, match them up \/ pair them up. Let that couple be vulnerable in the group setting so that the couple that is hurting is seeing: \u201cOkay, they made it. I guess we can make it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI don\u2019t know how we\u2019re going to make it, but I guess it\u2019s possible.\u201d We\u2019re doing everything we can to just lend them some hope while they don\u2019t even know how to see the day and deal with the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen you begin peeling off those layers\u2014you know: \u201cWhat happened? How it \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thappened \/ what it means.\u201d The long-term recovery is developing a new track record. For the guy who says, \u201cOkay; forgive me and get over it,\u201d is not really repentant. He does not really understand the depth of the pain that he has caused to his wife in that scenario\u2014so working with him to be able to articulate his understanding of her pain shows her he\u2019s getting it. By the way, he probably won\u2019t get much of it. He\u2019ll get a little bit, and then a little bit, and then a little bit. That means humbling himself over, and over, and over, and over, and over. That\u2019s what he doesn\u2019t want to do\u2014that\u2019s the hard part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that, eventually, begins to help her see that maybe he gets it. And if he gets it, then maybe he won\u2019t do it anymore. She may be able to forgive him, but trust is a totally different thing; right? So \u201cI forgive you,\u201d first \/ \u201cNow, I\u2019ve got to decide how I trust you.\u201d Trust comes only when he shows her a new track record of behavior. That then lends her heart to soften more over time, and then she can begin to move toward him <em>if<\/em> and when that happens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that\u2019s a whole lot of <em>ifs<\/em>; right? So, in the meantime, what are we doing? We\u2019re lending them hope. We\u2019re showing them people who have made it. We\u2019re standing with them, and crying with them, and being compassionate about all the pain\u2014helping them learn how to just try to be patient, and hold on, and not give up. Slowly, over time\u2014and I mean, sometimes years, depending upon the level of the betrayal \/ years\u2014they can get there as long as both of them remain in that posture of humility and just trying to walk it out, day in and day out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In the midst of the pain, you can\u2019t necessarily have a conversation like this\u2014but at some point\u2014you can sit down with somebody and say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s where you are. Let\u2019s talk about where you\u2019d like to be five years from today; because where you are today, there are really two paths you can go on. One path is to try to seek to pursue reconciliation and have, five years from today, a marriage where you can share with others about the power of God to bring\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0restoration and to do a healing work: \u201cIt will be powerful and amazing, like this couple,\u201d or \u201c\u2026like this couple,\u201d\u2014others you can point to\u2014to Ron\u2019s point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can be on a path that, five years from today, you\u2019ll be in separate cities. When it\u2019s time for the kids\u2019 marriages, you get together\u2014and it\u2019s awkward\u2014and where the kids are always dealing with the scars of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got a choice you can make here today about which path you want to set out on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, you can\u2019t do it in the midst of the pain, because that feels insensitive. But, at some point, you can try to say: \u201cThere are two options before you. Which path do you want to be on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to a conversation we had with some listeners, back last summer\u2014some great questions tossed our way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Bob, could you have imagined, back in 1992, when you started <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and began to coach me on how to pronounce words and correct my grammar and English. [Laughter] And all of the torture I\u2019ve been through all of these 25 years\u2014could you have imagined\u2014no; I\u2019m not going to live there \/ I\u2019m going to forgive you for all of that! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCould you have imagined that we would have had the privilege, for 25 years, to touch literally millions\u2014maybe tens of millions\u2014of lives\/people?\u2014not only here in America\u2014but because this broadcast is heard in more than three dozen countries and in multiple languages around the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s just fun to meet a listener \/ it really is cool to meet a listener! Can I tell you my favorite meet-a-listener story? I may have shared this; so stop me if I\u2019ve done this. [Laughter] If you\u2019re a listener and you\u2019ve heard me share this, just call the 800-number and say, \u201cYou\u2019ve told it before!!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just tweet us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Barbara and I went to do a series of meetings in Fiji. That\u2019s right\u2014it was Fiji. I know what you\u2019re thinking, but it was a lot of work. We spoke at high schools. We did marriage and family conferences\u2014<em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> all over the country. It was a great privilege to serve Peta and Mary Nathuba, former Speaker of the House of Parliament of Fiji, who now heads up FamilyLife there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, when we finished, Peta and Mary said, \u201cWe want to treat you to a couple of days off on an island.\u201d Fiji has over 300 islands. They set us up at this beautiful island called Castaway. You can look it up online\u2014really pretty cool! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were sitting there, having dinner. Our waiter, whose name, I believe, was Samson, looked at us kind of funny at a point and he said, \u201cMay I ask you a question?\u201d I said, \u201cSure.\u201d He said, \u201cWho are you?\u201d [Laughter] Now, I\u2019ve had this happen in WalMart<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, here in America.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had it happen in Alaska, on top of a mountain, with meeting people; but in a foreign country?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes\u2014on an island in Fiji\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Samson said: \u201cI\u2019ve been listening to your broadcast on another island, where my family lives. I just want to thank you for what you and Bob do for families all over the world. I listen every day.\u201d And he takes a boat! He has to take a boat from his island to get to work. We fellowshipped there for a few seconds and laughed about that. It is like: \u201cWhat a <em>small<\/em> world!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just want to say: \u201cThank you. Thank you,\u201d to the Legacy Partners and the donors to this ministry\u2014who make a ministry to people of every nation \/ maybe every tribe; who knows?!\u2014ministering to the most basic unit of every civilization\u2014the family. What a privilege to take the gospel of Jesus Christ to the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The money our listeners invest is money that goes to expanding the reach of this ministry. It goes to taking this message to more and more people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s been that for 25 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As you can help us today with a donation, what you\u2019re actually doing is helping more people hear practical biblical help and hope for their marriage relationship. We want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are monthly Legacy Partners. Your monthly support gives this ministry a financial backbone. It doesn\u2019t cover all of the expenses, but it does give us a solid base that we can build on. We\u2019re so grateful for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, or if you\u2019d like to join the Legacy Partner team and start providing regular monthly support for this broadcast ministry, go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com and make an online donation. When you do, we\u2019d love to send you a set of FamilyLife\u2019s popular Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014a tool to help you explain the message of Jesus\u2019 death and resurrection to younger children. It\u2019s our gift to you when you donate at FamilyLifeToday.com, or when you call 1-800-FLTODAY to donate. Or you can mail your donation and request your Resurrection Eggs. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today. I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen join us back on Monday. Our friend, Gary Thomas, is going to be here. We\u2019re going to talk about a word that you probably used with your spouse on your wedding day. You may have forgotten a little bit about what it was you promised. We\u2019ll talk about how we are to cherish one another coming up Monday. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304424"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304424"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304424"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304424"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}