{"id":304422,"date":"2017-03-16T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-03-16T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/four-types-of-mothers\/"},"modified":"2017-03-16T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-03-16T15:00:00","slug":"four-types-of-mothers","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/four-types-of-mothers\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Types of Mothers"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hettie Brittz describes four different types of mothers, and how each type is uniquely equipped to be the perfect mother for the child or children God has called her to raise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-16.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.66M","filesize_raw":"25859624","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2881],"tags":[6225,4353,4535],"podcast_series":[8198],"cwp_profile":[3203],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304422","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-young-children","tag-becoming-a-mother","tag-raising-children","tag-starting-a-family","podcast_series-unnatural-mom","cwp_profile-hettie-brittz","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304422\/four-types-of-mothers","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304422\/four-types-of-mothers","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ZsyMM13uZg\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/four-types-of-mothers\/\">Four Types of Mothers<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/four-types-of-mothers\/embed\/#?secret=ZsyMM13uZg\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Four Types of Mothers&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ZsyMM13uZg\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-16.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-16.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the best things you could do, as a mom, is to develop the confidence in Christ that you can be the mom your children need you to be. Here\u2019s Hettie Brittz.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>You know, when you take a flight, they always tell you: \u201cIf there\u2019s a loss of cabin pressure, the oxygen mask will\u2026\u201d\u2014that story. Then they tell you this important thing: \u201cPut the mask over your own face first before you help the kids.\u201d Understanding yourself is like that. A mom, who is still struggling with herself, wondering: \u201cWhy can\u2019t I do this? Why is this hard for me? Why do I not do this thing naturally?\u201d\u2014this mom, who is so busy with herself \/ wanting to <em>change<\/em> herself\u2014cannot be a mom who shows unconditional love to her child. She needs to make peace with how God has designed her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is confidence that comes, as a parent, when we stop and realize that God gave our kids to us because He knew, if we remained dependant on Him, we could do the job. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re talking about motherhood today. I love the description of natural motherhood that I think creates a phantom that our guest has talked about. The phantom here is that every mom thinks that to be the right kind of mom\u2014she must be naturally maternal; she must get pregnant naturally; give birth naturally; must be natural at breast-feeding; a natural homemaker; she must find parenting natural; and must keep all things unnatural from the family table. Moms are going: \u201cI feel that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes; I feel like, if I\u2019m going to be successful, this is what\u2019s required of me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the thing\u2014that phantom doesn\u2019t live here in the United States at all\u2014that\u2019s from South Africa\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s where you find those moms!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014which is where our guest lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know the truth about this\u2014there is the same phantom, here in America.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHettie Brittz joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis \/ thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hettie is married to Louis since 1992; they have three children. She\u2019s a speaker and author, and she does live in Pretoria, South Africa, which is the capitol of South Africa. By the way, I\u2019ve been there three times\u2014delightful city \/ delightful people\u2014a country in process but is making progress.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your husband\u2019s a worship leader.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>That\u2019s right\u2014and a music producer. He loves the church and he loves families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We put a link on our website, at FamilyLifeToday.com, if our listeners would like to hear your husband sing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Oh, great!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have one of his YouTube\u2019s pulled up so that everybody can go and hear Hettie\u2019s husband do some of this music. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe does a great job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hettie has written a book called (un)N<em>atural Mom<\/em>. You\u2019re really calling moms out to embrace God\u2019s call on their lives and to realize: \u201cYes; you\u2019re going to have some deficiencies, but God\u2019s going to use those deficiencies as you raise your kids.\u201d One of the ways that you kind of organize your book\u2014and you talk to moms around four different styles of parenting\u2014you compare this to trees; is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. When I first realized that I had a personality clash with my daughter\u2014a therapist helped me understand that\u2014I read a book about temperament. I didn\u2019t like the labels that they used to describe people, and I don\u2019t want to be put in a box. I thought, \u201cI want to develop something that\u2019ll describe a person without denying the uniqueness and the diversity in people.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrees, to me, are like that; because they go through seasons. Sometimes they\u2019re very fruitful \/ sometimes it\u2019s wintertime. And they can grow\u2014that\u2019s so important for me when we talk about describing people or profiling them\u2014to allow for that possibility of transformation, and growth, and a new season, and a new beginning. So that\u2019s the idea behind the trees. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, we can see predictable behavior in certain personalities when we understand them; but the idea behind this was not to diagnose, but to describe. I love the verse in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians 1 that says, \u201cI want your love to grow,\u201d and then it says so beautifully [paraphrased], \u201cI want you to use your head and test your feelings so that your love will be sincere\u2026not sentimental gush,\u201d\u2014I think that\u2019s the way it says it in The Message. If we can describe a person accurately, we can love them better. That\u2019s true for moms, and kids, and everyone\u2014so that\u2019s the idea behind the trees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to take a quick detour; because in order to have a mom, you have to have a dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo have a dad and a mom, generally speaking, the Bible teaches us we need to get married first. I\u2019m looking at your wedding ring, and I\u2019m wondering: \u201cWhat kind of stone is that wedding ring?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>I think this is called\u2014is it tanzanite? I believe so. There\u2019s a beautiful story behind this. I had a Scripture that played a really big role in my life six years ago, from Ezekiel 16. Some people may have read that\u2014it\u2019s a disturbing Scripture that talks about God picking up a little baby, who\u2019s in her own blood, and washing her and clothing\u2014and actually, she grows up\u2014God approaches her, and He dresses her, and He marries her. He talks about this ring with a stone in it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was given this ring by my husband, because my original wedding ring was stolen during an armed robbery in our house. That Scripture that says, \u201cI found you helpless, naked, in your own blood, and I washed you,\u201d became a very real reality that day; because I was physically attacked by the robbers who came into our house, and I was raped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is almost a renewal of our marriage; because God had come after that and gave us a brand-new intimacy and a brand-new marriage, and my husband gave me this brand- new ring. So this is very precious to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I just want our listeners to know that the story of what happened to you is a compelling one. You have shared that; and we have a link to you telling that story, online, as well. If our listeners would like to hear about how God got glory in the midst of that attack, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and hear about Hettie\u2019s story, again, from six years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Absolutely; yes; and God\u2019s faithfulness to our kids through that process was so beautiful, because, running up to that, for two years, I\u2019d been working through a book series about missionaries from around the world, with my kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was part of my kids\u2019 preparation for that night; because the theme that kept coming out of these books we were reading \/ these stories of missionaries, was: \u201cBut if God loves you and you\u2019re working for Him, how can something horrible happen to you? Why does a missionary\u2019s children die of malaria in Africa? How does this work?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had played this little game with our kids\u2014we would say, \u201cThere is the newspaper story and then there is God\u2019s story.\u201d We would look at somebody, like Joseph, and say, \u201cYou know, the newspaper story is \u2018Favorite Son Sold as a Slave,\u2019\u201d\u2014you know, it\u2019s a human trafficking story \/ that\u2019s what the newspapers would have said. God\u2019s story is: \u201cI\u2019ve saved a redeemer to Egypt to save many, many lives,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a God story.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe played these games when we read these stories. We said, \u201cWhat would the newspaper have said, and what does God say about this?\u201d When this happened to us\u2014and it was all over the newspapers\u2014our kids could zoom out and say, \u201cWhat did God say about what had happened here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s so much more to these horrific\u2014so-called horrific stories\u2014that seem like senseless tragedies than what we could ever know; because even a month after the event, my son, who was only nine at the time, said, \u201cMom, by now, Satan regrets having picked our house,\u201d because that nine-year-old could see the profit and the <em>gain<\/em> from what had happened that day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and you\u2019ve seen some of the God-story unveil over the last six years, even with your attacker coming to faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes! It\u2019s this beautiful Scripture that says: \u201cAsk of me, and I will give you nations. I will give men in exchange for your life.\u201d That Scripture just popped up in my mind, I think, two days after the attack. I said to the Lord, \u201cMay I ask that You will save many souls and that my rapist would be one of them?\u201d God granted that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, let me point our listeners to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, where they can hear more of the story of your attack and how God was honored in this very vicious, very horrible attack that happened to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and you know, what I hear you talking about, out of your drama, is to get your identity from the Scriptures and the truth of the Bible\u2014what God says about you\u2014not what the world may do to you or what the world may say to you. For a mom, that\u2019s <em>paramount<\/em>. A mom has to embrace what God has said about her and embrace the design that He has given her. That\u2019s really what you\u2019re talking about with these different types of trees that you\u2019re comparing moms to?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; I have to go back to this, because I\u2019m not an arborist. [Laughter] If we were walking through the forest together, I might know an elm from a maple; but likely not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I could help you with this, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Could you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I could. You help me with music all the time\u2014I can help you with the trees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The boxwood, the palm, the pine, and the rosebush.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I got those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, explain to me these four different plants and why you picked these for moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Absolutely; you know, it\u2019s exactly\u2014because the way you are with trees, I\u2019m like that with people sometimes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI need to know your name so that I know, \u201cIs this full sun, a lot of water?\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cHow do I take care of you so you can survive me?\u201d I needed instructions on how to attune to my kids. I have kids who have all of those trees mixed up in them, because temperament, by the way, means mixture. So don\u2019t for a moment think you\u2019re going to be one of the four\u2014you\u2019re going to be a mixture of one or two, most likely two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo here we go. The rosebushes are those ones, who have the flowers and the thorns\u2014and these are the moms\u2014let\u2019s talk about the moms in these terms. These are the moms who are the go-getters \/ the moms who want to be productive. They want to put their roses out there; but at the same time, they can be a little prickly\u2014they can speak the truth without thinking twice. Usually, they regret about stuff they did in the heat of the moment, that they wish they could undo and words they said they wish they could take back. This is the mom who will struggle when she experiences parenting as an interruption of her life, the way I already confessed I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a lot of rosebush in me \/ a lot of ambition\u2014a lot of, \u201cLet\u2019s get something done today.\u201d So that\u2019s the rosebush moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we have the palm tree moms. Now, I don\u2019t know about you\u2014here, in Arkansas, we don\u2019t see that many palm trees\u2014or I haven\u2019t yet\u2014but let\u2019s say Florida and California palm trees. I associate them with vacation time\u2014with the beach, and fun, and pink drinks with little umbrellas in them or something\u2014I don\u2019t know. That\u2019s what these moms are like. They are the party moms\u2014they are the ones who want to make it fun for the kids. It\u2019s about their kids laughing, and having what they need, and being a little spoiled, perhaps. That\u2019s the image of the palm tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we have the boxwood. Now, boxwoods are those shrubs that you can prune into any shape you like. They\u2019re usually used to make these hedges. These moms are the ones who have the boundaries, you know, and the rules. Those are the moms who are going to read the book, you know, because \u201cMaybe here is something that I can use!\u201d They copy and paste from other people\u2019s lives\u2014they have their checklists \/ they want to do it the right way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey usually believe there\u2019s one right way. Like these perfectly-pruned trees, they try and portray this image of having it all together\u2014that\u2019s how they are perceived.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the fourth type of mom, the pine trees\u2014the one I absolutely wish I had more of in my natural design\u2014because like the feeling that comes over you when you step into a pine tree forest \/ that calm coolness, where you want to spread out a picnic blanket, and lean back, and just spend time\u2014that\u2019s what this mom emanates. This is the mom I have when I take my own profile\u2014zero percent of mine! That\u2019s why God gave me a pine tree daughter first, to adjust my idea of what it is to be a functional human being.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So you\u2019ve actually developed an assessment by which people can go online and determine which kind of mom they are? Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Exactly; that\u2019s right. It\u2019s called the \u201cUnnatural Mom Profile\u201d or the \u201cParenting profile.\u201d Dads can take it too\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s not just moms\u2014it\u2019s for grandparents \/ or teachers\u2014anybody disciplining, mentoring, and nurturing children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And by the way, we have a link for that on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow does having an understanding of who you are, as a mom, help you be a better mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>You know, when you take a flight, they always tell you, \u201cIf there\u2019s a loss of cabin pressure, the oxygen mask will\u2026\u201d\u2014that story. And then they tell you this important thing: \u201cPut the mask over your own face first before you help the kids.\u201d Understanding yourself is like that. A mom who is still struggling with herself, wondering: \u201cWhy can\u2019t I do this? Why is this hard for me? Why do I not do this thing naturally?\u201d This mom who is so busy with herself, wanting to change herself, cannot be a mom, who shows unconditional love to a child; because she will want to change the kids as well. She needs to make peace with how God has designed her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what this profile does\u2014is it shows her: \u201cThese are the ways in which you reflect the heart of God. These are the natural, beautiful things that God has put into you and your natural design. These are the things you need to flourish as a mom.\u201d Because if I know I need a little bit of time alone, or I know I need a challenge, I can build that into my family life. I don\u2019t need to go out of the home to get that done\u2014I can say: \u201cOkay; so I didn\u2019t know that ten minutes of this\u201d or \u201c\u2026this particular activity can recharge me, as a mom.\u201d This is what I want to do\u2014I want to build my capacity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe message is never, \u201cThis is who you are, and now everybody needs to give you what you need.\u201d The message is: \u201cThis is who you are. Take responsibility. Make sure you don\u2019t bleed yourself dry. Make sure there\u2019s enough of what we call fertilizer in your life, and limit the frostbite when you can.\u201d Because we also list for every mom the things that tend to make her <em>unnatural<\/em>\u2014the things that tend to make parenting really hard for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tObviously, if this mom needs help and support, she can take this to her husband and to her support system and say, \u201cThese are the areas in which I would love for you to support me, because these are the things that are tough.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Speak to the husbands for a moment and what they can say, do, and what kind of attitude they can display toward their wife, who is a mom, who may be struggling with this thing called motherhood. Coach them a bit, if you would.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>I believe\u2014in all relationships, Dennis, we\u2019re supposed to hold up a gentle mirror that gives a slightly Photoshopped version of the person in front of us. What a dad can do is\u2014he can look at the profile description of his wife, and notice the positive things about her, and hold that up to her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re never going to use these tree types to attack one another\u2014we\u2019re not going to say, \u201cYou are being <em>so<\/em> boxwood right now.\u201d Instead, we\u2019re going to say: \u201cHoney, your high standards have really served us today, because you did not give up until we got this house clean for our guests,\u201d and \u201dThat is a beautiful thing about you that I like,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that is what a husband can do. Instead of putting his finger on what is tough for his wife, hold up that mirror and say, \u201cWho you are designed to be is beautiful.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I like the way you put that, because it\u2019s a slightly Photoshopped mirror. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re not interested in a magnifying glass mirror that magnifies everything, the strengths and the weaknesses. You\u2019re talking about focusing on what she does well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014complimenting her, calling it out, reminding her of the truth. I think sometimes Barbara, as a mom, just needed me to come home and say: \u201cYou know what? I know today was really, really tough. Thank you for doing the main thing and fulfilling your calling as a wife and a mom.\u201d Sometimes, it doesn\u2019t have much of a payback on the spot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>It\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis mirror does not need to be a mirror in which we say things that are not true; because this whole message of \u201cYou are the perfect mom,\u201d is such a dangerous one; because it puts out the expectation that you need to be all of this. People will look at the four trees and go, \u201cOh, Jesus was all four.\u201d Yes; He was all four, but He needed to save the world. He needed to be everything to all people through all the ages. That is not the assignment of a mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe, in Christianity, one of the key principles is His body \/ this diversity that God has put together. He will not give a mom everything she needs to raise her kids\u2014He just won\u2019t! He will give her a husband, who does what she cannot do; and even they\u2014as a couple\u2014will not be everything those kids will always need. There will be other mentors, other spiritual examples, other family members, even siblings, who will need to complete the shaping of the education of those kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it\u2019s alright for me to say: \u201cLord, I am not really great at this particular area of mentoring my child. Please plug a godly woman\u2026\u201d or \u201c\u2026a godly man into that spot.\u201d That dependence on the Lord to send the body to do this is something the Lord, I believe, wants us to embrace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to read seven statements that you make in your book; because what you\u2019re saying right here is that every mom feels the pressure to be super-mom, and no mom can be super-mom. But you also say in your book every mom must be supernatural mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not super-mom, but supernatural mom. That <em>begins<\/em> when a mom has a relationship with Christ \/ when her life has been transformed by the gospel. But then you go on to say, \u201cHere are the characteristics of a supernatural mom.\u201d Dennis, I just think there are some moms who need to hear this today: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows that God writes the story\u2014so she says: \u201cOkay; my desire to control everything. I\u2019m going to have to back off from that, because God\u2019s in control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two: A supernatural mom realizes that the foremost agenda is God\u2019s salvation demonstrated throughout the earth. She keeps in mind the big picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom is delighted to play a part in God\u2019s story, no matter how hard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s particularly poignant from somebody who\u2019s been through some of the things you\u2019ve been through, that you\u2019ve talked about today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows that building her own bright future, while disregarding God, leads nowhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows she can\u2019t fill burned-out lives with new hope, but she trusts that God can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows she doesn\u2019t give her children a place in the sun; God does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the last thing is: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows that her failures won\u2019t stop God from keeping all the promises He made concerning her life and the lives of her children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s good news; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>It\u2019s very good news. It\u2019s such a <em>relief<\/em> that how my kids will turn out is not fully dependent on me. I can make it so much <em>harder<\/em> for them to know and love the Lord \/ I can make it so much <em>easier<\/em> for them to know and love the Lord\u2014but ultimately, God has their future firmly in His hand. Even my mistakes will work towards what He has for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is one of the most heavenly assignments God gives a human being\u2014to be called mom. It\u2019s an assignment to impact the generations that follow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to give you one of the more interesting assignments you\u2019ve ever been given; but before I give you that assignment, I want Bob to tell listeners how they can get a copy of your book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut before we\u2019re done here, I have one last question for you and something I want you to do, that I think your mom is going to enjoy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com, to find out more about Hettie\u2019s book, which is called <em>(un)Natural Mom<\/em>. I also mentioned some links we have there to the assessment that Hettie has developed to help you determine what is your parenting style, and to hear more about Hettie\u2019s story and hear her husband with one of his worship songs. Again, the website\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to order a copy of the book, you can order online or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d We\u2019ll get the book sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019d like to use this portion of the broadcast just to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to our Legacy Partners for making this broadcast possible. Your donations keep us putting broadcasts like this on that remind moms how important they are. Hettie Brittz has done a great job the past couple of days of doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow here\u2019s the assignment, Hettie. You\u2019re not from here\u2014so you\u2019ve probably not listened to our broadcast nearly as much as some of our listeners have. You\u2019re from South Africa.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Although it\u2019s available online\u2014you can download it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can download the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> app and get it on your phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; you can get the app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to ask you to seat your mom across the table here from you. I\u2019d like you to fulfill the fifth commandment: \u201cHonor your father and your mother, that it may go well with you.\u201d I\u2019d like you to give your mom a tribute, as we close this broadcast\u2014for what she means to you today and what she did for you, as a young lady, growing up. Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>I will need half an hour [Laughter] but I will be succinct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom, I got to know the love and the care that is 24\/7, 365 days of the year, by looking into your face. I knew I could trust the Lord to be always there for me because you were. I learned to write thank-you notes to acknowledge people \/ to pay attention to what people need; because you showed me how. I have made sacrifices for my kids, because every single one you have made for us was worth it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have learned to honor my husband, even in those days when I felt like a single mom; because you took care of the four of us many times without the support you probably deserved, but you <em>never<\/em> once said anything about that to us, as kids. You never once complained when Dad traveled, or worked hard, or came home late\u2014you honored him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have prayed for me every day of my life, and you still do every day. It is a <em>big<\/em> part of why I get to live the life I live now\u2014is on the wings of those prayers, Mom, and I know that. I want to give you the assurance, Mom\u2014that every single dream you did not get the opportunity to fulfill in your lifetime, your children, your grandchildren, and your great-grandchildren will; because of the sacrifices you have made. My prayer is that God will put the credit of that on your account, Mom. I love you forever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.66M"],"filesize_raw":["25859624"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304422.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304422.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Brittz describes four different types of mothers, and how each type is uniquely equipped to be the perfect mother for the child or children God has called her to raise.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the best things you could do, as a mom, is to develop the confidence in Christ that you can be the mom your children need you to be. Here\u2019s Hettie Brittz.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>You know, when you take a flight, they always tell you: \u201cIf there\u2019s a loss of cabin pressure, the oxygen mask will\u2026\u201d\u2014that story. Then they tell you this important thing: \u201cPut the mask over your own face first before you help the kids.\u201d Understanding yourself is like that. A mom, who is still struggling with herself, wondering: \u201cWhy can\u2019t I do this? Why is this hard for me? Why do I not do this thing naturally?\u201d\u2014this mom, who is so busy with herself \/ wanting to <em>change<\/em> herself\u2014cannot be a mom who shows unconditional love to her child. She needs to make peace with how God has designed her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is confidence that comes, as a parent, when we stop and realize that God gave our kids to us because He knew, if we remained dependant on Him, we could do the job. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re talking about motherhood today. I love the description of natural motherhood that I think creates a phantom that our guest has talked about. The phantom here is that every mom thinks that to be the right kind of mom\u2014she must be naturally maternal; she must get pregnant naturally; give birth naturally; must be natural at breast-feeding; a natural homemaker; she must find parenting natural; and must keep all things unnatural from the family table. Moms are going: \u201cI feel that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes; I feel like, if I\u2019m going to be successful, this is what\u2019s required of me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the thing\u2014that phantom doesn\u2019t live here in the United States at all\u2014that\u2019s from South Africa\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s where you find those moms!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014which is where our guest lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know the truth about this\u2014there is the same phantom, here in America.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHettie Brittz joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis \/ thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hettie is married to Louis since 1992; they have three children. She\u2019s a speaker and author, and she does live in Pretoria, South Africa, which is the capitol of South Africa. By the way, I\u2019ve been there three times\u2014delightful city \/ delightful people\u2014a country in process but is making progress.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your husband\u2019s a worship leader.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>That\u2019s right\u2014and a music producer. He loves the church and he loves families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We put a link on our website, at FamilyLifeToday.com, if our listeners would like to hear your husband sing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Oh, great!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have one of his YouTube\u2019s pulled up so that everybody can go and hear Hettie\u2019s husband do some of this music. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe does a great job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hettie has written a book called (un)N<em>atural Mom<\/em>. You\u2019re really calling moms out to embrace God\u2019s call on their lives and to realize: \u201cYes; you\u2019re going to have some deficiencies, but God\u2019s going to use those deficiencies as you raise your kids.\u201d One of the ways that you kind of organize your book\u2014and you talk to moms around four different styles of parenting\u2014you compare this to trees; is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. When I first realized that I had a personality clash with my daughter\u2014a therapist helped me understand that\u2014I read a book about temperament. I didn\u2019t like the labels that they used to describe people, and I don\u2019t want to be put in a box. I thought, \u201cI want to develop something that\u2019ll describe a person without denying the uniqueness and the diversity in people.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrees, to me, are like that; because they go through seasons. Sometimes they\u2019re very fruitful \/ sometimes it\u2019s wintertime. And they can grow\u2014that\u2019s so important for me when we talk about describing people or profiling them\u2014to allow for that possibility of transformation, and growth, and a new season, and a new beginning. So that\u2019s the idea behind the trees. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, we can see predictable behavior in certain personalities when we understand them; but the idea behind this was not to diagnose, but to describe. I love the verse in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians 1 that says, \u201cI want your love to grow,\u201d and then it says so beautifully [paraphrased], \u201cI want you to use your head and test your feelings so that your love will be sincere\u2026not sentimental gush,\u201d\u2014I think that\u2019s the way it says it in The Message. If we can describe a person accurately, we can love them better. That\u2019s true for moms, and kids, and everyone\u2014so that\u2019s the idea behind the trees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to take a quick detour; because in order to have a mom, you have to have a dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo have a dad and a mom, generally speaking, the Bible teaches us we need to get married first. I\u2019m looking at your wedding ring, and I\u2019m wondering: \u201cWhat kind of stone is that wedding ring?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>I think this is called\u2014is it tanzanite? I believe so. There\u2019s a beautiful story behind this. I had a Scripture that played a really big role in my life six years ago, from Ezekiel 16. Some people may have read that\u2014it\u2019s a disturbing Scripture that talks about God picking up a little baby, who\u2019s in her own blood, and washing her and clothing\u2014and actually, she grows up\u2014God approaches her, and He dresses her, and He marries her. He talks about this ring with a stone in it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was given this ring by my husband, because my original wedding ring was stolen during an armed robbery in our house. That Scripture that says, \u201cI found you helpless, naked, in your own blood, and I washed you,\u201d became a very real reality that day; because I was physically attacked by the robbers who came into our house, and I was raped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is almost a renewal of our marriage; because God had come after that and gave us a brand-new intimacy and a brand-new marriage, and my husband gave me this brand- new ring. So this is very precious to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And I just want our listeners to know that the story of what happened to you is a compelling one. You have shared that; and we have a link to you telling that story, online, as well. If our listeners would like to hear about how God got glory in the midst of that attack, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and hear about Hettie\u2019s story, again, from six years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Absolutely; yes; and God\u2019s faithfulness to our kids through that process was so beautiful, because, running up to that, for two years, I\u2019d been working through a book series about missionaries from around the world, with my kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was part of my kids\u2019 preparation for that night; because the theme that kept coming out of these books we were reading \/ these stories of missionaries, was: \u201cBut if God loves you and you\u2019re working for Him, how can something horrible happen to you? Why does a missionary\u2019s children die of malaria in Africa? How does this work?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had played this little game with our kids\u2014we would say, \u201cThere is the newspaper story and then there is God\u2019s story.\u201d We would look at somebody, like Joseph, and say, \u201cYou know, the newspaper story is \u2018Favorite Son Sold as a Slave,\u2019\u201d\u2014you know, it\u2019s a human trafficking story \/ that\u2019s what the newspapers would have said. God\u2019s story is: \u201cI\u2019ve saved a redeemer to Egypt to save many, many lives,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a God story.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe played these games when we read these stories. We said, \u201cWhat would the newspaper have said, and what does God say about this?\u201d When this happened to us\u2014and it was all over the newspapers\u2014our kids could zoom out and say, \u201cWhat did God say about what had happened here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s so much more to these horrific\u2014so-called horrific stories\u2014that seem like senseless tragedies than what we could ever know; because even a month after the event, my son, who was only nine at the time, said, \u201cMom, by now, Satan regrets having picked our house,\u201d because that nine-year-old could see the profit and the <em>gain<\/em> from what had happened that day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and you\u2019ve seen some of the God-story unveil over the last six years, even with your attacker coming to faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes! It\u2019s this beautiful Scripture that says: \u201cAsk of me, and I will give you nations. I will give men in exchange for your life.\u201d That Scripture just popped up in my mind, I think, two days after the attack. I said to the Lord, \u201cMay I ask that You will save many souls and that my rapist would be one of them?\u201d God granted that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, let me point our listeners to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, where they can hear more of the story of your attack and how God was honored in this very vicious, very horrible attack that happened to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and you know, what I hear you talking about, out of your drama, is to get your identity from the Scriptures and the truth of the Bible\u2014what God says about you\u2014not what the world may do to you or what the world may say to you. For a mom, that\u2019s <em>paramount<\/em>. A mom has to embrace what God has said about her and embrace the design that He has given her. That\u2019s really what you\u2019re talking about with these different types of trees that you\u2019re comparing moms to?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; I have to go back to this, because I\u2019m not an arborist. [Laughter] If we were walking through the forest together, I might know an elm from a maple; but likely not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I could help you with this, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Could you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I could. You help me with music all the time\u2014I can help you with the trees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The boxwood, the palm, the pine, and the rosebush.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I got those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, explain to me these four different plants and why you picked these for moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Absolutely; you know, it\u2019s exactly\u2014because the way you are with trees, I\u2019m like that with people sometimes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI need to know your name so that I know, \u201cIs this full sun, a lot of water?\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cHow do I take care of you so you can survive me?\u201d I needed instructions on how to attune to my kids. I have kids who have all of those trees mixed up in them, because temperament, by the way, means mixture. So don\u2019t for a moment think you\u2019re going to be one of the four\u2014you\u2019re going to be a mixture of one or two, most likely two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo here we go. The rosebushes are those ones, who have the flowers and the thorns\u2014and these are the moms\u2014let\u2019s talk about the moms in these terms. These are the moms who are the go-getters \/ the moms who want to be productive. They want to put their roses out there; but at the same time, they can be a little prickly\u2014they can speak the truth without thinking twice. Usually, they regret about stuff they did in the heat of the moment, that they wish they could undo and words they said they wish they could take back. This is the mom who will struggle when she experiences parenting as an interruption of her life, the way I already confessed I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a lot of rosebush in me \/ a lot of ambition\u2014a lot of, \u201cLet\u2019s get something done today.\u201d So that\u2019s the rosebush moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we have the palm tree moms. Now, I don\u2019t know about you\u2014here, in Arkansas, we don\u2019t see that many palm trees\u2014or I haven\u2019t yet\u2014but let\u2019s say Florida and California palm trees. I associate them with vacation time\u2014with the beach, and fun, and pink drinks with little umbrellas in them or something\u2014I don\u2019t know. That\u2019s what these moms are like. They are the party moms\u2014they are the ones who want to make it fun for the kids. It\u2019s about their kids laughing, and having what they need, and being a little spoiled, perhaps. That\u2019s the image of the palm tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we have the boxwood. Now, boxwoods are those shrubs that you can prune into any shape you like. They\u2019re usually used to make these hedges. These moms are the ones who have the boundaries, you know, and the rules. Those are the moms who are going to read the book, you know, because \u201cMaybe here is something that I can use!\u201d They copy and paste from other people\u2019s lives\u2014they have their checklists \/ they want to do it the right way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey usually believe there\u2019s one right way. Like these perfectly-pruned trees, they try and portray this image of having it all together\u2014that\u2019s how they are perceived.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the fourth type of mom, the pine trees\u2014the one I absolutely wish I had more of in my natural design\u2014because like the feeling that comes over you when you step into a pine tree forest \/ that calm coolness, where you want to spread out a picnic blanket, and lean back, and just spend time\u2014that\u2019s what this mom emanates. This is the mom I have when I take my own profile\u2014zero percent of mine! That\u2019s why God gave me a pine tree daughter first, to adjust my idea of what it is to be a functional human being.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So you\u2019ve actually developed an assessment by which people can go online and determine which kind of mom they are? Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Exactly; that\u2019s right. It\u2019s called the \u201cUnnatural Mom Profile\u201d or the \u201cParenting profile.\u201d Dads can take it too\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s not just moms\u2014it\u2019s for grandparents \/ or teachers\u2014anybody disciplining, mentoring, and nurturing children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And by the way, we have a link for that on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow does having an understanding of who you are, as a mom, help you be a better mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>You know, when you take a flight, they always tell you, \u201cIf there\u2019s a loss of cabin pressure, the oxygen mask will\u2026\u201d\u2014that story. And then they tell you this important thing: \u201cPut the mask over your own face first before you help the kids.\u201d Understanding yourself is like that. A mom who is still struggling with herself, wondering: \u201cWhy can\u2019t I do this? Why is this hard for me? Why do I not do this thing naturally?\u201d This mom who is so busy with herself, wanting to change herself, cannot be a mom, who shows unconditional love to a child; because she will want to change the kids as well. She needs to make peace with how God has designed her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what this profile does\u2014is it shows her: \u201cThese are the ways in which you reflect the heart of God. These are the natural, beautiful things that God has put into you and your natural design. These are the things you need to flourish as a mom.\u201d Because if I know I need a little bit of time alone, or I know I need a challenge, I can build that into my family life. I don\u2019t need to go out of the home to get that done\u2014I can say: \u201cOkay; so I didn\u2019t know that ten minutes of this\u201d or \u201c\u2026this particular activity can recharge me, as a mom.\u201d This is what I want to do\u2014I want to build my capacity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe message is never, \u201cThis is who you are, and now everybody needs to give you what you need.\u201d The message is: \u201cThis is who you are. Take responsibility. Make sure you don\u2019t bleed yourself dry. Make sure there\u2019s enough of what we call fertilizer in your life, and limit the frostbite when you can.\u201d Because we also list for every mom the things that tend to make her <em>unnatural<\/em>\u2014the things that tend to make parenting really hard for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tObviously, if this mom needs help and support, she can take this to her husband and to her support system and say, \u201cThese are the areas in which I would love for you to support me, because these are the things that are tough.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Speak to the husbands for a moment and what they can say, do, and what kind of attitude they can display toward their wife, who is a mom, who may be struggling with this thing called motherhood. Coach them a bit, if you would.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>I believe\u2014in all relationships, Dennis, we\u2019re supposed to hold up a gentle mirror that gives a slightly Photoshopped version of the person in front of us. What a dad can do is\u2014he can look at the profile description of his wife, and notice the positive things about her, and hold that up to her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re never going to use these tree types to attack one another\u2014we\u2019re not going to say, \u201cYou are being <em>so<\/em> boxwood right now.\u201d Instead, we\u2019re going to say: \u201cHoney, your high standards have really served us today, because you did not give up until we got this house clean for our guests,\u201d and \u201dThat is a beautiful thing about you that I like,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that is what a husband can do. Instead of putting his finger on what is tough for his wife, hold up that mirror and say, \u201cWho you are designed to be is beautiful.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I like the way you put that, because it\u2019s a slightly Photoshopped mirror. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re not interested in a magnifying glass mirror that magnifies everything, the strengths and the weaknesses. You\u2019re talking about focusing on what she does well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014complimenting her, calling it out, reminding her of the truth. I think sometimes Barbara, as a mom, just needed me to come home and say: \u201cYou know what? I know today was really, really tough. Thank you for doing the main thing and fulfilling your calling as a wife and a mom.\u201d Sometimes, it doesn\u2019t have much of a payback on the spot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>It\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis mirror does not need to be a mirror in which we say things that are not true; because this whole message of \u201cYou are the perfect mom,\u201d is such a dangerous one; because it puts out the expectation that you need to be all of this. People will look at the four trees and go, \u201cOh, Jesus was all four.\u201d Yes; He was all four, but He needed to save the world. He needed to be everything to all people through all the ages. That is not the assignment of a mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe, in Christianity, one of the key principles is His body \/ this diversity that God has put together. He will not give a mom everything she needs to raise her kids\u2014He just won\u2019t! He will give her a husband, who does what she cannot do; and even they\u2014as a couple\u2014will not be everything those kids will always need. There will be other mentors, other spiritual examples, other family members, even siblings, who will need to complete the shaping of the education of those kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it\u2019s alright for me to say: \u201cLord, I am not really great at this particular area of mentoring my child. Please plug a godly woman\u2026\u201d or \u201c\u2026a godly man into that spot.\u201d That dependence on the Lord to send the body to do this is something the Lord, I believe, wants us to embrace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to read seven statements that you make in your book; because what you\u2019re saying right here is that every mom feels the pressure to be super-mom, and no mom can be super-mom. But you also say in your book every mom must be supernatural mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not super-mom, but supernatural mom. That <em>begins<\/em> when a mom has a relationship with Christ \/ when her life has been transformed by the gospel. But then you go on to say, \u201cHere are the characteristics of a supernatural mom.\u201d Dennis, I just think there are some moms who need to hear this today: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows that God writes the story\u2014so she says: \u201cOkay; my desire to control everything. I\u2019m going to have to back off from that, because God\u2019s in control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two: A supernatural mom realizes that the foremost agenda is God\u2019s salvation demonstrated throughout the earth. She keeps in mind the big picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom is delighted to play a part in God\u2019s story, no matter how hard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s particularly poignant from somebody who\u2019s been through some of the things you\u2019ve been through, that you\u2019ve talked about today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows that building her own bright future, while disregarding God, leads nowhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows she can\u2019t fill burned-out lives with new hope, but she trusts that God can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows she doesn\u2019t give her children a place in the sun; God does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the last thing is: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA supernatural mom knows that her failures won\u2019t stop God from keeping all the promises He made concerning her life and the lives of her children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s good news; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>It\u2019s very good news. It\u2019s such a <em>relief<\/em> that how my kids will turn out is not fully dependent on me. I can make it so much <em>harder<\/em> for them to know and love the Lord \/ I can make it so much <em>easier<\/em> for them to know and love the Lord\u2014but ultimately, God has their future firmly in His hand. Even my mistakes will work towards what He has for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is one of the most heavenly assignments God gives a human being\u2014to be called mom. It\u2019s an assignment to impact the generations that follow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to give you one of the more interesting assignments you\u2019ve ever been given; but before I give you that assignment, I want Bob to tell listeners how they can get a copy of your book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut before we\u2019re done here, I have one last question for you and something I want you to do, that I think your mom is going to enjoy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com, to find out more about Hettie\u2019s book, which is called <em>(un)Natural Mom<\/em>. I also mentioned some links we have there to the assessment that Hettie has developed to help you determine what is your parenting style, and to hear more about Hettie\u2019s story and hear her husband with one of his worship songs. Again, the website\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to order a copy of the book, you can order online or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d We\u2019ll get the book sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019d like to use this portion of the broadcast just to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to our Legacy Partners for making this broadcast possible. Your donations keep us putting broadcasts like this on that remind moms how important they are. Hettie Brittz has done a great job the past couple of days of doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow here\u2019s the assignment, Hettie. You\u2019re not from here\u2014so you\u2019ve probably not listened to our broadcast nearly as much as some of our listeners have. You\u2019re from South Africa.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Although it\u2019s available online\u2014you can download it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can download the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> app and get it on your phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; you can get the app.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to ask you to seat your mom across the table here from you. I\u2019d like you to fulfill the fifth commandment: \u201cHonor your father and your mother, that it may go well with you.\u201d I\u2019d like you to give your mom a tribute, as we close this broadcast\u2014for what she means to you today and what she did for you, as a young lady, growing up. Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hettie: <\/strong>I will need half an hour [Laughter] but I will be succinct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom, I got to know the love and the care that is 24\/7, 365 days of the year, by looking into your face. I knew I could trust the Lord to be always there for me because you were. I learned to write thank-you notes to acknowledge people \/ to pay attention to what people need; because you showed me how. I have made sacrifices for my kids, because every single one you have made for us was worth it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have learned to honor my husband, even in those days when I felt like a single mom; because you took care of the four of us many times without the support you probably deserved, but you <em>never<\/em> once said anything about that to us, as kids. You never once complained when Dad traveled, or worked hard, or came home late\u2014you honored him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have prayed for me every day of my life, and you still do every day. It is a <em>big<\/em> part of why I get to live the life I live now\u2014is on the wings of those prayers, Mom, and I know that. I want to give you the assurance, Mom\u2014that every single dream you did not get the opportunity to fulfill in your lifetime, your children, your grandchildren, and your great-grandchildren will; because of the sacrifices you have made. My prayer is that God will put the credit of that on your account, Mom. I love you forever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. 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