{"id":304412,"date":"2017-03-07T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-03-07T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/my-biggest-problem-is-me\/"},"modified":"2017-03-07T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-03-07T17:00:00","slug":"my-biggest-problem-is-me","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/my-biggest-problem-is-me\/","title":{"rendered":"My Biggest Problem Is Me"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You don&#8217;t first fix marriages horizontally, you fix them first vertically, says author and counselor Paul David Tripp. It&#8217;s disastrous if we forget the Gospel in our marriges.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.8M","filesize_raw":"24960182","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2810],"tags":[6219,2877,5837,6220],"podcast_series":[8195],"cwp_profile":[3097],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304412","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-growing-spiritually","tag-its-the-little-things","tag-marriage","tag-the-gospel","tag-whats-really-important","podcast_series-the-real-root-of-all-problems","cwp_profile-paul-david-tripp","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304412\/my-biggest-problem-is-me","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304412\/my-biggest-problem-is-me","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"AWpS4fBTuc\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/my-biggest-problem-is-me\/\">My Biggest Problem Is Me<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/my-biggest-problem-is-me\/embed\/#?secret=AWpS4fBTuc\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;My Biggest Problem Is Me&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"AWpS4fBTuc\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"You don't first fix marriages horizontally, you fix them first vertically, says author and counselor Paul David Tripp. It's disastrous if we forget the Gospel in our marriges.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-03-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ve heard for years about the silly things that married couples can fight about\u2014like which way the toilet paper should be hung on a toilet paper roll: \u201cDoes it come over the top?\u201d or \u201cDoes it go over the back side?\u201d Paul David Tripp heard that as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>A couple came to me and said, \u201cWe had such a rip-roaring battle\u2014over the flap of the toilet paper\u2014that we called Charmin [Laughter] and asked for a customer representative.\u201d [Laughter] If you are right now wanting to know what he said, you\u2019re missing the point of this illustration! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If you\u2019d like to know what the point of the illustration is\u2014you\u2019re going to hear about it today from Paul David Tripp. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just got back a few weeks ago from the\u2014what was it?\u2014was that number seven? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014our seventh annual <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise. For the seventh year in a row\u2014a sold-out cruise with everyone onboard coming onboard to celebrate marriage, to really enjoy the week together, and to hear from some great speakers \/ some great artists. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, we\u2019re going to hear today Part Two of a message from Paul David Tripp, who was onboard with us and who spoke to the audience on Thursday night. Paul\u2019s an author and a conference speaker. Many of our listeners know him\u2014he was just on recently talking about parenting. He gave a great presentation on Thursday night. That\u2019s\u2014at the heart of the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise, Dennis, there\u2019s great teaching, great workshops, mixed in with all of the fun that we have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>If you join us for this cruise, you\u2019re going to end up getting off the ship, some seven days later, better equipped to do life, marriage, and family because of joining us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You mentioned \u201cIf you join us\u2026\u2014one of the reasons we wanted to come to our listeners this week and let them know about the cruise is because we\u2019re actually 60 percent sold for next year. We have an early-bird rate that\u2019s available through the 20<sup>th<\/sup> of March. It\u2019s possible that this could be a sold-out cruise before the end of this month\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No doubt about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014just given the interest. We\u2019re going to the Dominican Republic next year\u2014we\u2019re going to Grand Turk \/ we\u2019re going to Half Moon Cay in the Bahamas\u2014have great ports, great lineup of speakers and artists, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in honor of my birthday, we\u2019re going to start it on February 11<sup>th<\/sup> and cruise all the way to the 17<sup>th<\/sup>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. You can get signed up for next year\u2019s cruise. You will hear great speakers like Paul David Tripp, who joined us this year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe talked to the audience about the fact that the biggest problem we face in our marriage is not communication difficulties \/ it\u2019s not the fact that intimacy gets complicated, from time to time\u2014it\u2019s not the fact that we have conflict that occurs. The biggest problem is deep inside of us and deep inside of our spouse\u2014it\u2019s our sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Or stated another way\u2014it\u2019s our selfishness. We want to be at the center of the universe, and that doesn\u2019t really work in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Secondly, sin, in its fundamental form, is anti-social; because I was meant to live an upward and an outward life\u2014upward in loving worship of God \/ outward in self-sacrificing love of my neighbor. Sin turns me in on myself\u2014sin makes it all about <em>me<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that\u2019s important to recognize; because husbands and wives, your big problem in marriage is not that you\u2019re married to another sinner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod\u2019s not surprised that you\u2019re married to a sinner. He\u2019s not saying: \u201cAhh! I didn\u2019t know <em>that<\/em> was going to happen! [Laughter] He married a sinner!\u201d He knew! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour big problem \/ <em>my<\/em> big problem I had <em>before<\/em> I was married. I\u2019ve had the selfishness sin since birth. I dragged something into my marriage that\u2019s destructive to relationships. I brought it in! It\u2019s not just that you\u2019re less than perfect. It\u2019s not just that you have a bad day. It\u2019s not just that you lose your way. But I have an ability to trouble my trouble\u2014I have an ability to make the natural struggle even worse because of my self-orientation\u2014because I <em>demand<\/em> my own way \/ I demand my own comfort. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI demand my definition of peace\u2014I demand; I demand; I demand; I demand\u2014it is anti-social. I\u2019ve brought that into my marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s where this goes\u2014oh, I pray that God\u2019s Spirit would open your heart right now. I\u2019m going to ask you, right now, to fire your inner lawyer. [Laughter] I can say this because I have an inner law firm. [Laughter] Listen to what I\u2019m saying\u2014this is holy stuff. If Paul is right, and he is\u2014because this is written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit\u2014I have to say this: \u201cI am my biggest marriage problem\u2014it\u2019s me. I am my biggest marriage problem\u2014it\u2019s me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh yes\u2014I understand that, in marriage, you\u2019ll be sinned against. I understand that marriage can go dark, even to the point of being abusive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I understand all of that \/ I would not minimize any of that\u2014but my deepest, greatest, long-term problem is <em>me<\/em>. It\u2019s me! It\u2019s that fundamental me-ism of sin. Listen\u2014hear the gospel: \u201cYes; the power of sin has been broken; but the presence of sin still remains and it is being progressively eradicated.\u201d So: \u201cThis stuff that Paul is talking about is still inside of us.\u201d [Second] thing: \u201cThe DNA of sin is selfishness\u2014means that sin is anti-social in its fundamental form. Third point: \u201cIt will cause me to dehumanize that other person in my life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cPaul, what does that mean?\u201d It means, at some point, that person quits being an object of affection \/ my affection. They get reduced to being a vehicle or an obstacle. If you\u2019re a vehicle, helping me to get what I want: \u201cI love you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI thank God that you\u2019re in my life\u2014cards and flowers, maybe even occasional chocolate.\u201d But if you stand in the way of what I want, I\u2019m spontaneously irritated and \u201cI will strike back at you in some way. You\u2019re no longer the object of my affection.\u201d You\u2019ve been reduced to being a vehicle or an obstacle\u2014how sad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know the\u2014have you ever had someone give you the silent treatment? The person who\u2019s normally talkative in your marriage is quiet\u2014you say, \u201cMy, you\u2019re quiet.\u201d The person says, \u201cIs it a <em>sin<\/em> to be quiet?!\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a clue. [Laughter] You say, \u201cI think we should talk.\u201d The person says, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to talk to me right now.\u201d You say, \u201cI think you\u2019re angry.\u201d The person says: \u201cI\u2019m <em>not<\/em> angry. It makes me so mad when you accuse me of being angry. [Laughter] I\u2019m just being quiet, and I would suggest that you be quiet too.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we think of the silent treatment as a little thing. Let me just change your definition of that: \u201cYou have broken my law \/ my selfish demands. I\u2019m not going to stab you in the chest, but I will ascend to the throne of God and I will act as if you\u2019re dead for as long as it takes to satisfy my vengeance,\u201d\u2014pretty ugly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, if you pay attention, you can see this stuff operating quite young. I want to give you a couple illustrations. I was a kindergarten teacher for four years. The very first day of kindergarten, the most exciting thing\u2014it was an all-day kindergarten\u2014was lunch; because for the first time, children had brought their portable cuisine with them. After we got done praying, the kids tore into the lunch boxes. Little Billy, sitting next to Susie, looks at Susie\u2019s lunch and says, \u201cMy lunch is better than your lunch.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, why would he say such a thing?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014selfishness of sin. He holds up a big, bright chicken leg in a sandwich bag, and looks at Susie\u2019s lunch, and says: \u201cPeanut butter! Ohh!\u201d Susie bursts into tears, because she now knows she has parents who don\u2019t truly love her. [Laughter] All of a sudden, everybody in class\u2014comparing lunches with everybody else\u2014half the class is crying. Billy\u2019s still holding up his chicken leg as the trump lunch. I don\u2019t think he\u2019s ever going to quit carrying it\u2014he\u2019ll carry it for weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout six weeks in the class, mom comes to me and she says, \u201cMy daughter has lost her watch.\u201d Well, I ask around; and six children had lost their watches. I knew I had a little larsen in the class. So I asked around. I finally came to Jimmy. Jimmy\u2019s the tallest kid in class\u2014you have to look at my posture\u2014I said, \u201cJimmy, do you know where those watches are?\u201d He said, \u201cNo.\u201d Well, he looked guilty. I didn\u2019t even debate with him\u2014I said, \u201cWould you take me to those watches?\u201d He had just denied all knowledge of their existence. He did this\u2014[posture demonstration] [Laughter]\u2014walking down the hallway, up the steps, into the boys\u2019 bathroom. Across from one of the urinals was a door for the water meter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOpened the door; and over the water meter were six watches. That\u2019s how sinner little boy couldn\u2019t abide that somebody would have something he doesn\u2019t have. Hear what I\u2019m about to say: \u201cEnvy is always shockingly selfish.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout six months in the class, mom says, \u201cMy daughter\u2019s going to have her birthday, and I\u2019d like to use the classroom for her birthday.\u201d I said: \u201cSure! You can have a party in the classroom\u2014just invite all the children.\u201d So she did. It came time for the party. That same table we all sat around\u2014at the end of the table was the seat for birthday girl. She had an inordinate pile of gifts. In front of everybody else\u2019s chair was a bag of party favors\u2014two Tootsie rolls, two pieces of gum, a lollipop, and a plastic whistle. The purpose of party favors is to remind you it\u2019s not your birthday. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLittle Johnny is sitting directly across from party girl. He\u2019s looking at her big pile of gifts and his little measly bag, not worth 59 cents. He\u2019s feeling totally ripped off, and he begins to harrumph: \u201cHmph! Hmmmph!\u201d [Laughter] Finally, one of the mothers had enough\u2014she walked down the length of the table. She turned little Johnny\u2019s chair to her, and she got down on her knees, and she waxed theological. She looked Johnny in the face\u2014she said: \u201cJohnny, I want you to <em>hear<\/em> what I\u2019m about to say. It\u2019s\u2014not\u2014<em>your<\/em>\u2014party.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWives\u2014look at me! Ladies, it\u2019ll never be about you; because you\u2019ve been born into a world that, by its very nature, is a celebration of another. If you make it about you\u2014\u201cMy wants, my needs, my feelings, or else!\u201d\u2014you\u2019ll never travel a pathway of happiness, and joy, and unity, and peace; but of anger, and hurt, and recrimination, and desperation, and hopelessness, and ultimately you\u2019ll say: \u201cThis is too hurtful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u201cI don\u2019t want to do this anymo<\/em>re.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHusbands, it will never be about you; because you\u2019ve been born into a world that\u2019s a celebration of one greater than you. If you make it about you, you\u2019ll never move toward love\u2014you\u2019ll never move toward joy; you\u2019ll never move toward peace; you\u2019ll never move toward that sweet happiness of dwelling with somebody that you love\u2014but acrimony, and judgment, and condemnation, and arguments, and finally, you say: \u201cIt\u2019s too painful! I don\u2019t want to do this anymore.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t take much; does it? You walk into the bathroom. There\u2019s a wet towel on the bathroom floor\u2014probably, shouldn\u2019t be there\u2014but you say: \u201cI can\u2019t believe it! I can\u2019t believe that he would drop a wet towel on the floor! If he loved me, he just would never drop a wet towel on the floor. My dad was a dropper! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cI told myself I\u2019d never marry a dropper, but I have!\u201d [Laughter] Listen\u2014if you make that big of a deal out of a wet towel on the floor, your problem is not just that you have a sloppy husband\u2014your problem is you\u2019re full of yourself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you say: \u201cWhy do you drive so jerky? [Laughter] Everywhere we go, it\u2019s so jerky. [Laughter] Look at everybody else\u2014they\u2019re going Mmmmm. We never go Mmmmm. We just Mm. [Laughter] I have to take Dramamine<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> just to drive with you.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you have to be the grammar police: [Laughter] \u201cThat\u2019s not the way that word is <em>used<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you have to be the history police\u2014a person can never tell a complete story without you jumping in!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a wife say to me: \u201cI can barely go out to eat with my husband, because he chews like this\u2014ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.\u201d [Laughter] She says, \u201cHe has a short upper lip and his teeth show.\u201d I have been thinking, \u201cHe didn\u2019t go to the lip store and say, \u2018Give me the short ones\u2019?!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI can\u2019t deal with the way he holds his fork,\u201d\u2014seriously? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you\u2019ve heard of the illustration of the toilet paper\u2014I gave that particular illustration on a Friday night. At the end of the time together, a couple came to me and said, \u201cWe had such a rip-roaring battle\u2014over the flap of the toilet paper\u2014that we called Charmin [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cand asked for a customer representative.\u201d [Laughter] If you are right now wanting to know what he said\u2014you\u2019re missing the point of this illustration! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen\u2014I\u2019ve told this in a funny way; but what I described to you is the sad, dark, mournful music of marriage gone bad\u2014the joy\u2019s gone, the unity\u2019s gone, the love is dented and broken. You\u2019ll never, ever get beyond that unless you humbly say, \u201cWe do that to us,\u201d because there\u2019s something inside of us that says, \u201cI have to have my way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe tonight you\u2019re thinking, \u201cWell, Paul, this has been encouraging.\u201d [Laughter] I do want to encourage you. I love this passage\u2014this passage gets me up in the morning \/ this passage is a dear friend to me\u2014it says this: \u201cThat Jesus came\u201d\u2014oh, I love this\u2014\u201cprecisely to deal with what we\u2019re talking about right now.\u201d Listen\u2014husbands and wives, listen to this: \u201cYour Father harnessed the forces of nature and controlled the events of human history so that at a certain point His Son would come and live the life you could not live, and die the death you should have died, and rise again, conquering sin and death, so that you would have help for this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow here\u2019s what this means\u2014wives, I\u2019ll start with you: \u201cJesus came\u2014not so much to rescue you from your husband\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014Jesus came to rescue you from you. That is good news.\u201d [Applause] And husbands: \u201cJesus didn\u2019t so much come first to rescue you from a wife, but to rescue you from you.\u201d Why is that so important? Because hear this: \u201cI can run from a situation; I can run from a location; I can run from a relationship; but I can\u2019t run from me. I find, whenever I try to run from me, I show up with me at the end of the run.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo God is able, in His Son, to do for you what you could not do for yourself\u2014to break your bondage to you. But get what that means! It doesn\u2019t mean\u2014now, first, you live for husband\u2014no! That\u2019s not what it says. It says Jesus came so that \u201cthose who live would no longer live for themselves, but for Him who loved them and gave Himself for them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen\u2014my problem has never been first that I don\u2019t love Luella enough. My problem is I don\u2019t love God enough; and when I don\u2019t, I insert myself in God\u2019s position; and I make it all about me. Here\u2019s what this means\u2014we\u2019re the only ones who would ever say this\u2014but it\u2019s the only place where a solution is found. You don\u2019t first fix marriage, horizontally; you fix them first, vertically.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHusbands, you are unkind and impatient with your wife because you put yourself in God\u2019s place. Wives, you\u2019re bitter, and demanding, and critical of your husband because you\u2019ve inserted yourselves in God\u2019s position. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat bondage to your way\u2014you can\u2019t break on your own \/ it\u2019s only broken by grace. You see, I\u2019m on this cruise, not first because I like boats, but because I think it\u2019s disastrous if we forget the gospel in our marriages. Listen\u2014there is no one in this room that is a grace graduate. Everyone in this room needs to run\u2014run again and confess that selfishness that\u2019s inside of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the good news\u2014I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve thought about this\u2014but the most horrible moment of suffering in the life of Jesus was not physical \/ it was relational. It was that moment when the Father turned His back on the Son, and He cries out in torment, \u201cEloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?\u201d \/ \u201cMy God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus took every piece of your rejection so\u2014in your weakness, and failure, and sin\u2014you would never again see the back of God\u2019s head. That means we can run to Him for His mercy and His grace in our time of need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to end with this\u2014I just have a couple seconds here. I want to give you an assignment. Before you go to bed tonight, how about taking a moment and confessing the selfishness that has made your marriage an uncomfortable place? Instead of pointing the finger, how about acknowledging that selfishness? When your husband or wife does that\u2014how about granting forgiveness? How about celebrating the transforming grace of the Redeemer? And then, how about praying that God would work in your heart to make service of Him more valuable and more beautiful to you than getting your own way? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you have a husband who does that? \/ Do you have a wife who does that? They\u2019re on the road to glorious changes in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod help us. Let\u2019s pray:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLord, we would confess that me-ism that\u2019s inside of us. We would cry out this evening: \u201cOh, won\u2019t You, once again, deliver us from us? Help us to find greater joy in surrender to You than we would ever have in finding our own way\u2014that only is ever the result of Your rescuing, delivering, transforming grace. Oh, pour that grace down on us once again.\u201d I pray that couples would have marriage-transforming conversations this evening before they go to bed. In Jesus\u2019 name, amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod bless! [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening again to Part Two of a message from Paul David Tripp\u2014a message that he presented recently onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. I talked to a lot of couples the day after this message was presented. They just said: \u201cThat nailed me. That reminded me of the fact that the core of our marriage problem, whatever it is, is deep inside of me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s my own selfishness, as I mentioned earlier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, listen\u2014if you\u2019re looking for a great way \/ I mean, a <em>terrific<\/em> way to celebrate an anniversary\u2014maybe it\u2019s ten years, fifteen, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five\u2014I ran into a couple from Iowa who didn\u2019t know anything about FamilyLife, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. They just Googled \u201cChristian marriage cruise\u201d and the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise came up. They were there, onboard, celebrating their 35<sup>th<\/sup> wedding anniversary, having an absolute blast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you met the couple from Colorado?\u201462 years of marriage\u2014living over in Grand Junction, on the other side of the Rocky Mountains.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I mean, there were folks there who were early in their marriage \/ folks celebrating milestone anniversaries. Wherever you are in your marriage\u2014whether you guys are doing great or whether you need a little help\u2014the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise is a great way to relax, to unwind, to have some fun together, and to hear some solid biblical teaching about how to have a stronger marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise is already more than 60 percent full for next year. We would love to have you join us. We expect that this cruise could be sold out before the end of March. The early-bird rates expire March 20. So if you\u2019d like to take advantage of the lowest rates possible, and make sure you get a cabin booked, go online to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014we can get you taken care of for next year\u2019s cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce again\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number; or get more information about the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Dave and Ann Wilson, who were also with us on the cruise this year. They talked about how we can express love to one another in marriage without ever touching each other. We\u2019ll hear about that tomorrow. Hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304412"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304412"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304412"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304412"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}