{"id":304388,"date":"2017-02-17T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-02-17T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/seven-reasons-parents-overindulge-their-children\/"},"modified":"2017-02-17T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-02-17T17:00:00","slug":"seven-reasons-parents-overindulge-their-children","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seven-reasons-parents-overindulge-their-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Seven Reasons Parents Overindulge Their Children"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Kristen Welch | Series: Raising Grateful Kids | Kristen Welch, a mother of three, tells of the challenge to raise kids who are grateful and content, and points to guilt as the real reason parents cater to their kids. Welch gives seven reasons parents overindulge their children, which results in kids who feel entitled.Show Notes &#038; ResourcesKristen Welch&#8217;s blog &#8211; We Are That FamilyThe Mercy House<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kristen Welch gives seven reasons parents overindulge their children, which results in kids who feel entitled.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-02-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"30.57M","filesize_raw":"32060017","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2839,2850],"tags":[6206,6205,6207,2209],"podcast_series":[8193],"cwp_profile":[3053],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304388","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-attitude-problems","category-character-development","tag-bad-attitudes","tag-childrens-entitlement","tag-overindulging-parents","tag-parenting","podcast_series-raising-grateful-kids","cwp_profile-kristen-welch","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304388\/seven-reasons-parents-overindulge-their-children","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304388\/seven-reasons-parents-overindulge-their-children","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5js6Que3qY\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seven-reasons-parents-overindulge-their-children\/\">Seven Reasons Parents Overindulge Their Children<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seven-reasons-parents-overindulge-their-children\/embed\/#?secret=5js6Que3qY\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Seven Reasons Parents Overindulge Their Children&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5js6Que3qY\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-02-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-02-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Kristen Welch is a mom who believes that parents need to be hard on their kids\u2014loving but hard. And the reason is\u2014parents have to get their kids ready for what\u2019s coming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen: <\/strong>The world isn\u2019t going to be easy. There\u2019s not going to be someone rushing in to fix all of your problems. When you are late for work, over and over and over, your boss probably isn\u2019t going to say, \u201cWell, it\u2019s okay.\u201d There\u2019s going to be a consequence. \u201cIf I fix everything and I make everything easy, and I don\u2019t prepare you for your life outside the home, then I failed you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. So where is the line, as a parent, between being too hard or too soft on your kids? We\u2019ll spend time exploring that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think we have to admit that the culture we live in is not a culture that fosters contentedness and being happy with the circumstance you find yourself in. We live in a world that promotes discontentedness. Most of the advertising you see\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014is all about, \u201cYou can\u2019t be happy until you have this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \u201cWhat you have is not enough, and you need to go buy or experience what we have.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And we have the author of a brand-new book called <em>Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World. <\/em>Kristen Welch joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Kristen, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Thank you. Glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Kristen and her husband Terrell have three children. They live near Houston. She gives leadership to a ministry called Mercy House, which is a ministry reaching out to kids who don\u2019t have a lot\u2014in fact, very, very little\u2014in third-world countries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; in fact, tell our listeners a little about Mercy House, and how it got started, and what you guys are trying to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes; Mercy House Global is a ministry that works to equip and empower women around the globe\u2014women who are oppressed and impoverished. Most live on less than $1 a day. Our flagship ministry is two maternity homes in Nairobi, Kenya, that we started in 2010, where we rescue the most at-risk girls in the country\u2014who are young and pregnant. We help them have their babies and help them get on their feet and teach them skills. One of the skills we teach them is how to make a fair trade product\u2014and then job skills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we have volunteers\u2014a lot of parents and their kids come and serve\u2014and help us pack up fair trade subscription boxes that we mail out to about 3,200 club members around the US in an effort to provide jobs for women in poverty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur philosophy is: \u201cWe\u2019re going to buy\u2014we live in a consuming country. Let\u2019s learn how to buy right and provide jobs for women, in Jesus\u2019 name.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If I\u2019m signed up for a subscription box, what might I get some month?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> You would get a lovely pair of earrings, probably\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That would be great; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u2014bracelets; necklaces\u2014a lot of jewelry; coffee; tea; home d\u00e9cor\u2014pretty much anything you would want to give as a gift or keep for yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve also got something that families can use as a way to help their children gain a global perspective and to maybe help break some of the entitlement mentality that all of us are born with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes; I created this resource to go along with the book, <em>Raising Grateful Kids<\/em>;because I need a practical way to bring it to my kitchen table and to talk about it at dinner. We created this resource called \u201cThe Global Family Kit.\u201d There are six family nights in every kit\u2014it brings in a lot of education about cultures, recipes, and words in their languages, and unreached people groups and their biggest needs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there\u2019s also a lot of tangible, practical things for kids to learn like: \u201cWhat\u2019s it like to go to school there?\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s it like for a day in the life of a child?\u201d \u201cHow far do they have to walk for water?\u201d There\u2019s a game to play with a ball for each of the family nights.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been on this subject of contentment, and really trying to go after entitlement, and trying to help parents do this with their families. Back in 2014, you took a survey of parents just to find out how frequently the issue of entitlement comes up in people\u2019s families. What were the results of that survey?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Well, within 24 hours of putting the survey on my blog, 5,000 parents had filled it out. I knew I had struck a chord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And they said it wasn\u2019t present in their family; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Wrong! Nine-three percent of the families who took the poll said that it was a <em>huge<\/em> issue in their homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, really, the story that sums it up for me\u2014I get to talk a lot with young mothers, through our non-profit, who come and volunteer. One day, it was just one other person and I in our warehouse. This mom was packing orders, and we were just chatting. I was about to leave, and she said that she had four- and two-year-olds, and then she had a new baby\u2014so she has three very young children. Her four-year-old daughter was feeling a little overwhelmed, I think, by having two baby brothers in the house. She pulled her daughter aside, and got down on her one knee and said: \u201cGuess what? Mommy has planned a very special day for the two of us\u2014just the two of us!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the little girl said, \u201cWhat are we going to do?\u201d She said, \u201cWe are going to go ice skating, and we\u2019re going to get hot chocolate!\u201d And the little girl\u2019s <em>immediate<\/em> response was: \u201cIs that all? Is that all we\u2019re going to do!?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said her heart <em>broke<\/em>\u2014that that sums it up\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re up against\u2014is that question. We\u2019re raising a generation of kids, who say, \u201cIs that all? Is that all you\u2019re going to get for me? Is that all you\u2019re going to give me?\u201d That\u2019s what we\u2019re fighting against.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You list in your book seven reasons why parents indulge their kids. I thought this was a good list just for parents to be aware of; because, frankly, in this culture, I think we have to be really careful, as parents, that we\u2019re not setting our kids up to feel discontented when they become an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Right. These are things that I saw in my own life and in my own home. We want our kids to be our friends. You know, it\u2019s very common not to be the authoritarian parent. We want our kids to like us. Too\u2014we are afraid to say, \u201cNo,\u201d because of the fallout. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I have stood at an imaginary battle line in my kitchen, knowing that if I said, \u201cNo,\u201d there was going to be fallout! So, it\u2019s easier in a lot of ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Indulgence is often the path of least resistance for a parent: \u201cHow big of a battle do I want to have? I\u2019ll just give in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> It\u2019s true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s another one that you list, of the seven\u2014in fact, it is number seven. It\u2019s akin to this one about the fallout: \u201cWe don\u2019t want our kids to be unhappy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Oh, yes. That\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> one. [Laughter] We don\u2019t want our kids to be unhappy. I think good parenting makes for unhappy kids\u2014temporarily, unhappy children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re right! If you give your kids everything they want, you\u2019re going to train them to be selfish.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Exactly! I think we have this desire to give our kids the world. I mean, you know, we\u2019re handed this little bundle of joy. We work so hard to protect, and provide for them, and give them what they need\u2014that line becomes very fuzzy very quickly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we are giving them everything that they want, we\u2019re actually creating adults who can\u2019t hold down jobs. We\u2019re producing children who struggle to stay in marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> You know, we\u2019re creating this whole future problem that we can\u2019t even foresee when we give them everything that they want.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You juxtapose an entitlement mentality with a gratitude mentality. I mean, even in the title of your book, which is <em>Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, <\/em>you\u2019re saying that the antidote to entitlement\u2014if there is going to be one thing that you\u2019re going to do to help turn the tide, you\u2019re going to be pointing your kids toward gratitude\u2014being aware of the blessings they have and being appreciative for them. Just explain how gratitude works to defeat entitlement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Well, I think gratitude is the opposite of entitlement\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I think being thankful for what we have, saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d and meaning it\u2014finding ways to count our blessings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when my kids are going through a hard time or they\u2019re having a bad day, one of the first things I tell them to do is: \u201cOkay; yes, I <em>hear<\/em> the situation that you just said. You are right\u2014it is hard,\u201d\u2014try to validate what they\u2019re saying\u2014but, at the same time: \u201cWhat can you look at in this situation that is good? What can you be thankful for in this situation?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u201cOkay; so this teacher is really hard, but what can you be thankful for? There\u2019s tutoring after school,\u201d or \u201cYour dad\u2019s really great at math.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cThere\u2019s only two months left in the semester!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cSummer is coming!\u201d But if we look at our lives that way\u2014and we try to find something to be thankful for \/ we count our blessings\u2014it makes us realize what we have. We live in this culture\u2014we want more all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we stop and we look at what we\u2019ve already been given, it\u2019s a lot! And we can count those gifts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do little things\u2014practical things\u2014in our house. You know, we do \u201chighs and lows of the day.\u201d While we\u2019re sitting around, eating dinner together, everyone goes around and we all share one \u201chigh\u201d and one \u201clow\u201d of the day. We can get that way\u2014we always share the low first so that we can end on the high\u2014because there\u2019s <em>always<\/em> something in every day to be thankful for, even if it\u2019s a really bad day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can keep a gratitude journal\u2014that we then\u2014we write in it, and then at Christmas, we\u2019ll pull that out. We\u2019ll laugh at the things we wrote down six months ago that we were grateful for. There\u2019s always something to be thankful for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like the proactive approach you\u2019re taking. I have to confess\u2014Barbara and I took more of\u2014on occasion, took more of\u2014a disciplined approach to griping, and complaining, and whining about things. We had what was then, I believe, a dime jar or a quarter jar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d be driving down the road, going on a vacation\u2014and the kids would be whining, and griping, and complaining, and not getting along with one another. We had a jar on the dashboard of the car. We\u2019d just reach in and pull out a quarter. They knew that, at the end of the trip, they got to use whatever was left in the jar to get an ice cream cone, or maybe a hot fudge sundae, or maybe even a banana split; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was interesting to watch what happened when you pulled that quarter out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Things would get really quiet in the backseat. There was even an attorney back there, going: \u201cNow, wait a second! You didn\u2019t really weigh the circumstances of what was happening here,\u201d trying to defend his brothers and sisters because it just cost him four pennies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s trying to figure out how to save his pennies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> But I think one thing that you did that is so valuable is you made your kids <em>aware<\/em> that they were complaining and grumbling. I think, often, it\u2019s such a normal part of what we do in our verbiage and in our body language. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not getting our way\u2014so we\u2019re whining and complaining, and throwing a fit, and stamping our foot. Adults do that too\u2014it\u2019s just not always on the kitchen floor, pounding their fists.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes; we do! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> But one of the things we did that really helped is\u2014we just, one night at dinner, passed out rubber bands to everyone. We all put them on our wrists. Every time we complained or griped, or did the opposite of showing gratitude, we would pop our own rubber band. You weren\u2019t allowed to pop anyone else\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u2014because, of course, I have a teenaged son. [Laughter] But you could say, \u201cYou need to pop your rubber band. You just complained.\u201d It just made us <em>aware<\/em>\u2014it made me aware! I mean, when I did this, guess who was the first to complain?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were the first popper! Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> I was the first one to have to pop, and my kids thought that was so funny!\u2014\u201cOh, what a good lesson, Mom!\u201d But it made me very conscious of \u201cI don\u2019t want to clean up the dishes.\u201d Well, that\u2019s not being very grateful\u2014that\u2019s what I said\u2014and I didn\u2019t want to clean up the dishes. So I popped that rubber band. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think making our families <em>aware<\/em> of what we\u2019re saying, and our tone, and how we sound\u2014just create an environment in our homes that\u2019s godly. It is inspiring us to do better and to be grateful for what we have rather than allowing all of that negative talk to go on all of the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and I think memorizing a good passage of Scripture\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014can also be a good antidote\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to how we are in our flesh. A couple of passages parents might want to jot down to memorize tonight at the dinner table\u2014maybe it\u2019s a husband and a wife who need to memorize these \/ not the kids\u2014Philippians, Chapter 2, verse 14.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I knew you were going there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not the whole passage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cDo everything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cDo all things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwithout grumbling or disputing.\u201d That\u2019s a great one\u2014that\u2019s a quick one to memorize.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s really good to just talk about grumbling, griping, and complaining. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, maybe, talk about how the nation of Israel lost their ability to go into the Promised Land because they never got it! They could never really, truly walk by faith and give thanks for their circumstances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the other passage that\u2014this is so convicting! I needed this yesterday\u2014it is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Thessalonians, Chapter 5, verses 16, 17, and 18. Listen to this: \u201cRejoice always. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.\u201d I just have to tell you\u2014it is so difficult for me to give thanks. I did have a form of this in a prayer last night over dinner. As I prayed, I quoted James, Chapter 1, verses 2-8: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cCount it all joy, brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there\u2019s something about stating the positive in the midst of the negative that admits God\u2019s there and that you want to walk by faith and not by sight. That\u2019s what you\u2019re trying to train your children to do. They shouldn\u2019t be like the nation of Israel that walked by sight and not by faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Right; and I think, for our family, we hold firmly to a passage of Scripture that is incredibly important in our family\u2014it\u2019s 1 John 2: 15-17. I love it in The Message translation: \u201cDon\u2019t love the world\u2019s ways. Don\u2019t love the world\u2019s goods. Love of the world squeezes out our love of the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world\u2014wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important\u2014has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThe world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out\u2014but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s good!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou mentioned earlier, as parents, we really want to give our kids the world. I thought, \u201cNow, that\u2019s really an interesting play on words.\u201d I think we do! I think, as we take a step back and look at the Scriptures, is that what the Scriptures call us to do, as parents?\u2014to give our kids the world?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> I think it depends on your emphasis on that. I think our innate nature is to <em>lavish<\/em> love on our kids. What does our culture see as love?\u2014it\u2019s stuff! I can\u2019t really blame parents for falling into that trap, because it\u2019s so easy to become like the world. But if we\u2019re truly giving them the world, we\u2019re giving them a road to eternity\u2014and that really leaves this world behind. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not tangible, physical stuff\u2014it\u2019s a road to heaven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We were going through a difficult time with one of our teenagers. A friend of ours said to us, \u201cYou know, the very challenges your teenager is facing right now may be the needed experience that young person needs to go through to make their faith stronger for some larger issue they\u2019re going to face as an adult.\u201d Keeping your kids from experiencing suffering\/unhappiness\u2014it is really not wise in the long haul.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s harmful. I had this big argument with my oldest a few months ago. She said to me, \u201cWhy are you so hard on me?\u201d And I wanted to respond with, \u201cOh, honey, I\u2019m not hard on you,\u201d but I am. I just sat down on the edge of her bed and we had a heart-to-heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cLet me tell you why I\u2019m so hard on you. I\u2019m not going to deny it or refute it. I\u2019m going to agree with you, and this is why\u2014because the world won\u2019t be easy on you. You have been called to stand firm, as a believer, in a world that is going the opposite direction. The world isn\u2019t going to be easy. There\u2019s not going to be someone rushing in to fix all of your problems. If you procrastinate, and you don\u2019t get something turned in on time, you\u2019re not necessarily going to have a teacher who is forgiving. When you are late for work, over and over and over, your boss probably isn\u2019t going to say, \u2018Well, it\u2019s okay.\u2019 There\u2019s going to be a consequence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf I fix everything, and I make everything easy, and I don\u2019t prepare you for your life outside the home, then I have failed you. So yes, I\u2019m tough on you and hard on you now, in grace and love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe have a loving home; but, at the same time, when push comes to shove: \u2018I\u2019m boss. This is something that you need to do,\u2019 or \u2018This is a choice that you need to make,\u2019 or \u2018This is how we\u2019re going to live in this house.\u2019 Yes, I\u2019m hard on you; but the reason I\u2019m hard is because I want to prepare you for life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell our listeners about what that same daughter came to you recently and said about this year of school for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes; so every school year, we\u2019ve always told our kids, \u201cWe\u2019re going to take it one year at a time.\u201d My kids have been in public school since kindergarten, and I thought that\u2019s how we would finish. She\u2019s in marching band\u2014she\u2019s an All-State flute player. She came to me at the beginning of summer and she said: \u201cMom, I want to focus on my spiritual life as much as I focus on my academic life. I would like you to let me finish high school\u2014my last two years of high school online so that I don\u2019t <em>lose<\/em> this close place I have right now with the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a parent, I felt like we had both won again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; talk about high fives all around; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, I\u2019m imagining being in that room\u2014I would, as a mom \/ as a dad\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s no greater compliment to receive\u2014there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you pray for\u2014for your kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s important. We don\u2019t know the path our kids are going to take. There is no guarantee. I think that we have to offer them to God and trust our kids\u2014do our best, trust them, and trust Him that He\u2019s going to lead us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Kristen, I want to thank you for your work on your book. I think what you\u2019ve done here is you\u2019ve called out one of the biggest temptations for parents to cave in to their kids in this culture\u2014the issue of indulging them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve not just helped them name it for what it is, but you\u2019ve put together a game plan for knowing how parents can push back against it and train their children to be content and grow up to be adults who are smiling at the future. Thanks for being on the broadcast, and thanks for your work with moms and with children throughout the world that don\u2019t have much of anything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I hope our listeners will, not only get a copy of your book, I hope they\u2019ll go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the links we\u2019ve got to your blog and to the work you\u2019re doing with Mercy House. Get the kids around the computer and show them what you guys are doing and how God is working through your ministry. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about Kristen\u2019s book, and about the work of Mercy House, and all that her family is up to. The website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also call to order a copy of the book, <em>Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, <\/em>by Kristen Welch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCall 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, this conversation about gratitude and entitlement, one of the things that keeps me regularly grateful is reflecting on the fact that <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported. The partnership that exists between what we do, here at FamilyLife, and what our listeners do in joining with us to help make all of this happen\u2014it really is a partnership that involves people who care passionately about God\u2019s design for marriage and family. We believe that the family is the bedrock of civilization and that understanding God\u2019s design for marriage and family is at the center of God\u2019s design for humankind. That\u2019s why <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>exists\u2014to effectively develop godly marriages and families who change the world, one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to thank our Legacy Partners\u2014those of you who give monthly donations to support this ministry. Thank you for providing the financial backbone needed for this daily radio program. We wanted regular listeners, who are not Legacy Partners, to know that what the Legacy Partners provide does not cover the entire cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. So whether you can help us with a one-time donation, or you can sign up to become a new Legacy Partner, we would love to hear from you. We would be grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. You can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBox 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. And we have a thank-you gift for you when you request it. We\u2019d love to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s <em>Moments with You<\/em> daily devotional. It\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThanks for your partnership with us in this ministry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about the essence of biblical womanhood. What is at the heart of being a woman according to God\u2019s design? Bethany Baird and Kristen Clark are going to join us to talk about that. We hope you can be with us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["30.57M"],"filesize_raw":["32060017"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304388.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304388.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Welch gives seven reasons parents overindulge their children, which results in kids who feel entitled.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-02-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Kristen Welch is a mom who believes that parents need to be hard on their kids\u2014loving but hard. And the reason is\u2014parents have to get their kids ready for what\u2019s coming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen: <\/strong>The world isn\u2019t going to be easy. There\u2019s not going to be someone rushing in to fix all of your problems. When you are late for work, over and over and over, your boss probably isn\u2019t going to say, \u201cWell, it\u2019s okay.\u201d There\u2019s going to be a consequence. \u201cIf I fix everything and I make everything easy, and I don\u2019t prepare you for your life outside the home, then I failed you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. So where is the line, as a parent, between being too hard or too soft on your kids? We\u2019ll spend time exploring that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think we have to admit that the culture we live in is not a culture that fosters contentedness and being happy with the circumstance you find yourself in. We live in a world that promotes discontentedness. Most of the advertising you see\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014is all about, \u201cYou can\u2019t be happy until you have this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right. \u201cWhat you have is not enough, and you need to go buy or experience what we have.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And we have the author of a brand-new book called <em>Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World. <\/em>Kristen Welch joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Kristen, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Thank you. Glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Kristen and her husband Terrell have three children. They live near Houston. She gives leadership to a ministry called Mercy House, which is a ministry reaching out to kids who don\u2019t have a lot\u2014in fact, very, very little\u2014in third-world countries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; in fact, tell our listeners a little about Mercy House, and how it got started, and what you guys are trying to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes; Mercy House Global is a ministry that works to equip and empower women around the globe\u2014women who are oppressed and impoverished. Most live on less than $1 a day. Our flagship ministry is two maternity homes in Nairobi, Kenya, that we started in 2010, where we rescue the most at-risk girls in the country\u2014who are young and pregnant. We help them have their babies and help them get on their feet and teach them skills. One of the skills we teach them is how to make a fair trade product\u2014and then job skills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we have volunteers\u2014a lot of parents and their kids come and serve\u2014and help us pack up fair trade subscription boxes that we mail out to about 3,200 club members around the US in an effort to provide jobs for women in poverty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur philosophy is: \u201cWe\u2019re going to buy\u2014we live in a consuming country. Let\u2019s learn how to buy right and provide jobs for women, in Jesus\u2019 name.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If I\u2019m signed up for a subscription box, what might I get some month?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> You would get a lovely pair of earrings, probably\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That would be great; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u2014bracelets; necklaces\u2014a lot of jewelry; coffee; tea; home d\u00e9cor\u2014pretty much anything you would want to give as a gift or keep for yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve also got something that families can use as a way to help their children gain a global perspective and to maybe help break some of the entitlement mentality that all of us are born with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes; I created this resource to go along with the book, <em>Raising Grateful Kids<\/em>;because I need a practical way to bring it to my kitchen table and to talk about it at dinner. We created this resource called \u201cThe Global Family Kit.\u201d There are six family nights in every kit\u2014it brings in a lot of education about cultures, recipes, and words in their languages, and unreached people groups and their biggest needs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there\u2019s also a lot of tangible, practical things for kids to learn like: \u201cWhat\u2019s it like to go to school there?\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s it like for a day in the life of a child?\u201d \u201cHow far do they have to walk for water?\u201d There\u2019s a game to play with a ball for each of the family nights.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been on this subject of contentment, and really trying to go after entitlement, and trying to help parents do this with their families. Back in 2014, you took a survey of parents just to find out how frequently the issue of entitlement comes up in people\u2019s families. What were the results of that survey?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Well, within 24 hours of putting the survey on my blog, 5,000 parents had filled it out. I knew I had struck a chord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And they said it wasn\u2019t present in their family; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Wrong! Nine-three percent of the families who took the poll said that it was a <em>huge<\/em> issue in their homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, really, the story that sums it up for me\u2014I get to talk a lot with young mothers, through our non-profit, who come and volunteer. One day, it was just one other person and I in our warehouse. This mom was packing orders, and we were just chatting. I was about to leave, and she said that she had four- and two-year-olds, and then she had a new baby\u2014so she has three very young children. Her four-year-old daughter was feeling a little overwhelmed, I think, by having two baby brothers in the house. She pulled her daughter aside, and got down on her one knee and said: \u201cGuess what? Mommy has planned a very special day for the two of us\u2014just the two of us!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the little girl said, \u201cWhat are we going to do?\u201d She said, \u201cWe are going to go ice skating, and we\u2019re going to get hot chocolate!\u201d And the little girl\u2019s <em>immediate<\/em> response was: \u201cIs that all? Is that all we\u2019re going to do!?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said her heart <em>broke<\/em>\u2014that that sums it up\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re up against\u2014is that question. We\u2019re raising a generation of kids, who say, \u201cIs that all? Is that all you\u2019re going to get for me? Is that all you\u2019re going to give me?\u201d That\u2019s what we\u2019re fighting against.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You list in your book seven reasons why parents indulge their kids. I thought this was a good list just for parents to be aware of; because, frankly, in this culture, I think we have to be really careful, as parents, that we\u2019re not setting our kids up to feel discontented when they become an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Right. These are things that I saw in my own life and in my own home. We want our kids to be our friends. You know, it\u2019s very common not to be the authoritarian parent. We want our kids to like us. Too\u2014we are afraid to say, \u201cNo,\u201d because of the fallout. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I have stood at an imaginary battle line in my kitchen, knowing that if I said, \u201cNo,\u201d there was going to be fallout! So, it\u2019s easier in a lot of ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Indulgence is often the path of least resistance for a parent: \u201cHow big of a battle do I want to have? I\u2019ll just give in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> It\u2019s true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s another one that you list, of the seven\u2014in fact, it is number seven. It\u2019s akin to this one about the fallout: \u201cWe don\u2019t want our kids to be unhappy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Oh, yes. That\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> one. [Laughter] We don\u2019t want our kids to be unhappy. I think good parenting makes for unhappy kids\u2014temporarily, unhappy children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re right! If you give your kids everything they want, you\u2019re going to train them to be selfish.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Exactly! I think we have this desire to give our kids the world. I mean, you know, we\u2019re handed this little bundle of joy. We work so hard to protect, and provide for them, and give them what they need\u2014that line becomes very fuzzy very quickly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we are giving them everything that they want, we\u2019re actually creating adults who can\u2019t hold down jobs. We\u2019re producing children who struggle to stay in marriages.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> You know, we\u2019re creating this whole future problem that we can\u2019t even foresee when we give them everything that they want.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You juxtapose an entitlement mentality with a gratitude mentality. I mean, even in the title of your book, which is <em>Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, <\/em>you\u2019re saying that the antidote to entitlement\u2014if there is going to be one thing that you\u2019re going to do to help turn the tide, you\u2019re going to be pointing your kids toward gratitude\u2014being aware of the blessings they have and being appreciative for them. Just explain how gratitude works to defeat entitlement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Well, I think gratitude is the opposite of entitlement\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I think being thankful for what we have, saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d and meaning it\u2014finding ways to count our blessings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when my kids are going through a hard time or they\u2019re having a bad day, one of the first things I tell them to do is: \u201cOkay; yes, I <em>hear<\/em> the situation that you just said. You are right\u2014it is hard,\u201d\u2014try to validate what they\u2019re saying\u2014but, at the same time: \u201cWhat can you look at in this situation that is good? What can you be thankful for in this situation?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u201cOkay; so this teacher is really hard, but what can you be thankful for? There\u2019s tutoring after school,\u201d or \u201cYour dad\u2019s really great at math.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cThere\u2019s only two months left in the semester!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cSummer is coming!\u201d But if we look at our lives that way\u2014and we try to find something to be thankful for \/ we count our blessings\u2014it makes us realize what we have. We live in this culture\u2014we want more all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we stop and we look at what we\u2019ve already been given, it\u2019s a lot! And we can count those gifts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do little things\u2014practical things\u2014in our house. You know, we do \u201chighs and lows of the day.\u201d While we\u2019re sitting around, eating dinner together, everyone goes around and we all share one \u201chigh\u201d and one \u201clow\u201d of the day. We can get that way\u2014we always share the low first so that we can end on the high\u2014because there\u2019s <em>always<\/em> something in every day to be thankful for, even if it\u2019s a really bad day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can keep a gratitude journal\u2014that we then\u2014we write in it, and then at Christmas, we\u2019ll pull that out. We\u2019ll laugh at the things we wrote down six months ago that we were grateful for. There\u2019s always something to be thankful for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like the proactive approach you\u2019re taking. I have to confess\u2014Barbara and I took more of\u2014on occasion, took more of\u2014a disciplined approach to griping, and complaining, and whining about things. We had what was then, I believe, a dime jar or a quarter jar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d be driving down the road, going on a vacation\u2014and the kids would be whining, and griping, and complaining, and not getting along with one another. We had a jar on the dashboard of the car. We\u2019d just reach in and pull out a quarter. They knew that, at the end of the trip, they got to use whatever was left in the jar to get an ice cream cone, or maybe a hot fudge sundae, or maybe even a banana split; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was interesting to watch what happened when you pulled that quarter out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Things would get really quiet in the backseat. There was even an attorney back there, going: \u201cNow, wait a second! You didn\u2019t really weigh the circumstances of what was happening here,\u201d trying to defend his brothers and sisters because it just cost him four pennies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s trying to figure out how to save his pennies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> But I think one thing that you did that is so valuable is you made your kids <em>aware<\/em> that they were complaining and grumbling. I think, often, it\u2019s such a normal part of what we do in our verbiage and in our body language. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not getting our way\u2014so we\u2019re whining and complaining, and throwing a fit, and stamping our foot. Adults do that too\u2014it\u2019s just not always on the kitchen floor, pounding their fists.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes; we do! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> But one of the things we did that really helped is\u2014we just, one night at dinner, passed out rubber bands to everyone. We all put them on our wrists. Every time we complained or griped, or did the opposite of showing gratitude, we would pop our own rubber band. You weren\u2019t allowed to pop anyone else\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> \u2014because, of course, I have a teenaged son. [Laughter] But you could say, \u201cYou need to pop your rubber band. You just complained.\u201d It just made us <em>aware<\/em>\u2014it made me aware! I mean, when I did this, guess who was the first to complain?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were the first popper! Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> I was the first one to have to pop, and my kids thought that was so funny!\u2014\u201cOh, what a good lesson, Mom!\u201d But it made me very conscious of \u201cI don\u2019t want to clean up the dishes.\u201d Well, that\u2019s not being very grateful\u2014that\u2019s what I said\u2014and I didn\u2019t want to clean up the dishes. So I popped that rubber band. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think making our families <em>aware<\/em> of what we\u2019re saying, and our tone, and how we sound\u2014just create an environment in our homes that\u2019s godly. It is inspiring us to do better and to be grateful for what we have rather than allowing all of that negative talk to go on all of the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and I think memorizing a good passage of Scripture\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014can also be a good antidote\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to how we are in our flesh. A couple of passages parents might want to jot down to memorize tonight at the dinner table\u2014maybe it\u2019s a husband and a wife who need to memorize these \/ not the kids\u2014Philippians, Chapter 2, verse 14.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I knew you were going there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not the whole passage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cDo everything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cDo all things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwithout grumbling or disputing.\u201d That\u2019s a great one\u2014that\u2019s a quick one to memorize.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it\u2019s really good to just talk about grumbling, griping, and complaining. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, maybe, talk about how the nation of Israel lost their ability to go into the Promised Land because they never got it! They could never really, truly walk by faith and give thanks for their circumstances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the other passage that\u2014this is so convicting! I needed this yesterday\u2014it is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Thessalonians, Chapter 5, verses 16, 17, and 18. Listen to this: \u201cRejoice always. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.\u201d I just have to tell you\u2014it is so difficult for me to give thanks. I did have a form of this in a prayer last night over dinner. As I prayed, I quoted James, Chapter 1, verses 2-8: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cCount it all joy, brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there\u2019s something about stating the positive in the midst of the negative that admits God\u2019s there and that you want to walk by faith and not by sight. That\u2019s what you\u2019re trying to train your children to do. They shouldn\u2019t be like the nation of Israel that walked by sight and not by faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Right; and I think, for our family, we hold firmly to a passage of Scripture that is incredibly important in our family\u2014it\u2019s 1 John 2: 15-17. I love it in The Message translation: \u201cDon\u2019t love the world\u2019s ways. Don\u2019t love the world\u2019s goods. Love of the world squeezes out our love of the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world\u2014wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important\u2014has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThe world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out\u2014but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s good!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou mentioned earlier, as parents, we really want to give our kids the world. I thought, \u201cNow, that\u2019s really an interesting play on words.\u201d I think we do! I think, as we take a step back and look at the Scriptures, is that what the Scriptures call us to do, as parents?\u2014to give our kids the world?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> I think it depends on your emphasis on that. I think our innate nature is to <em>lavish<\/em> love on our kids. What does our culture see as love?\u2014it\u2019s stuff! I can\u2019t really blame parents for falling into that trap, because it\u2019s so easy to become like the world. But if we\u2019re truly giving them the world, we\u2019re giving them a road to eternity\u2014and that really leaves this world behind. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not tangible, physical stuff\u2014it\u2019s a road to heaven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We were going through a difficult time with one of our teenagers. A friend of ours said to us, \u201cYou know, the very challenges your teenager is facing right now may be the needed experience that young person needs to go through to make their faith stronger for some larger issue they\u2019re going to face as an adult.\u201d Keeping your kids from experiencing suffering\/unhappiness\u2014it is really not wise in the long haul.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s harmful. I had this big argument with my oldest a few months ago. She said to me, \u201cWhy are you so hard on me?\u201d And I wanted to respond with, \u201cOh, honey, I\u2019m not hard on you,\u201d but I am. I just sat down on the edge of her bed and we had a heart-to-heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said: \u201cLet me tell you why I\u2019m so hard on you. I\u2019m not going to deny it or refute it. I\u2019m going to agree with you, and this is why\u2014because the world won\u2019t be easy on you. You have been called to stand firm, as a believer, in a world that is going the opposite direction. The world isn\u2019t going to be easy. There\u2019s not going to be someone rushing in to fix all of your problems. If you procrastinate, and you don\u2019t get something turned in on time, you\u2019re not necessarily going to have a teacher who is forgiving. When you are late for work, over and over and over, your boss probably isn\u2019t going to say, \u2018Well, it\u2019s okay.\u2019 There\u2019s going to be a consequence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf I fix everything, and I make everything easy, and I don\u2019t prepare you for your life outside the home, then I have failed you. So yes, I\u2019m tough on you and hard on you now, in grace and love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe have a loving home; but, at the same time, when push comes to shove: \u2018I\u2019m boss. This is something that you need to do,\u2019 or \u2018This is a choice that you need to make,\u2019 or \u2018This is how we\u2019re going to live in this house.\u2019 Yes, I\u2019m hard on you; but the reason I\u2019m hard is because I want to prepare you for life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell our listeners about what that same daughter came to you recently and said about this year of school for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes; so every school year, we\u2019ve always told our kids, \u201cWe\u2019re going to take it one year at a time.\u201d My kids have been in public school since kindergarten, and I thought that\u2019s how we would finish. She\u2019s in marching band\u2014she\u2019s an All-State flute player. She came to me at the beginning of summer and she said: \u201cMom, I want to focus on my spiritual life as much as I focus on my academic life. I would like you to let me finish high school\u2014my last two years of high school online so that I don\u2019t <em>lose<\/em> this close place I have right now with the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a parent, I felt like we had both won again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; talk about high fives all around; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, I\u2019m imagining being in that room\u2014I would, as a mom \/ as a dad\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s no greater compliment to receive\u2014there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you pray for\u2014for your kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s important. We don\u2019t know the path our kids are going to take. There is no guarantee. I think that we have to offer them to God and trust our kids\u2014do our best, trust them, and trust Him that He\u2019s going to lead us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, Kristen, I want to thank you for your work on your book. I think what you\u2019ve done here is you\u2019ve called out one of the biggest temptations for parents to cave in to their kids in this culture\u2014the issue of indulging them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve not just helped them name it for what it is, but you\u2019ve put together a game plan for knowing how parents can push back against it and train their children to be content and grow up to be adults who are smiling at the future. Thanks for being on the broadcast, and thanks for your work with moms and with children throughout the world that don\u2019t have much of anything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kristen:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I hope our listeners will, not only get a copy of your book, I hope they\u2019ll go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the links we\u2019ve got to your blog and to the work you\u2019re doing with Mercy House. Get the kids around the computer and show them what you guys are doing and how God is working through your ministry. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about Kristen\u2019s book, and about the work of Mercy House, and all that her family is up to. The website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also call to order a copy of the book, <em>Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, <\/em>by Kristen Welch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCall 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, this conversation about gratitude and entitlement, one of the things that keeps me regularly grateful is reflecting on the fact that <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported. The partnership that exists between what we do, here at FamilyLife, and what our listeners do in joining with us to help make all of this happen\u2014it really is a partnership that involves people who care passionately about God\u2019s design for marriage and family. We believe that the family is the bedrock of civilization and that understanding God\u2019s design for marriage and family is at the center of God\u2019s design for humankind. That\u2019s why <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>exists\u2014to effectively develop godly marriages and families who change the world, one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to thank our Legacy Partners\u2014those of you who give monthly donations to support this ministry. Thank you for providing the financial backbone needed for this daily radio program. We wanted regular listeners, who are not Legacy Partners, to know that what the Legacy Partners provide does not cover the entire cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. So whether you can help us with a one-time donation, or you can sign up to become a new Legacy Partner, we would love to hear from you. We would be grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. You can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBox 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. And we have a thank-you gift for you when you request it. We\u2019d love to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s <em>Moments with You<\/em> daily devotional. It\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThanks for your partnership with us in this ministry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about the essence of biblical womanhood. What is at the heart of being a woman according to God\u2019s design? Bethany Baird and Kristen Clark are going to join us to talk about that. We hope you can be with us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. 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