{"id":304354,"date":"2017-01-25T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-01-25T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/are-children-inherently-good\/"},"modified":"2017-01-25T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T17:00:00","slug":"are-children-inherently-good","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/are-children-inherently-good\/","title":{"rendered":"Are Children Inherently Good?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your child is a good child, right? Paul David Tripp says, &#8220;not so fast.&#8221; Parents often make the mistake of expecting Christian character to be built in at birth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-01-25.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"29.01M","filesize_raw":"30419170","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2852,2833,2806],"tags":[4632,2209,4633],"podcast_series":[7265],"cwp_profile":[3097],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304354","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-discipline","category-godly-legacy","category-spiritual-development","tag-mercy","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-skills","podcast_series-parenting","cwp_profile-paul-david-tripp","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304354\/are-children-inherently-good","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304354\/are-children-inherently-good","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"HgLY8u4qrB\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/are-children-inherently-good\/\">Are Children Inherently Good?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/are-children-inherently-good\/embed\/#?secret=HgLY8u4qrB\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Are Children Inherently Good?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"HgLY8u4qrB\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-01-25.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-01-25.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a parent, you realize, undoubtedly, that at the core of your child is selfishness; right? Here\u2019s Paul David Tripp.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Ultimately, the idol of idols is <em>self<\/em>. Parents, hear what I am about to say: \u201cYour children don\u2019t know that! How about helping him to see something that has the power to radically change his life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey. I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about the big things parents need to make sure we are teaching our children\u2014the big things we\u2019ve got to make sure they\u2019re getting. Stay with us.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think we\u2019ve got a lot of listeners who are going to be disappointed with the book that Paul Tripp has written.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Laughing] Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Still laughing] Well that\u2019s a great way\u2014that\u2019s a great way \/ a <em>new<\/em> <em>way<\/em> to offend a guest, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I am so thankful right now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the reason why I say that; because I think we have a lot of listeners, who are like Mary Ann and I were when we had kids at home\u2013they\u2019re looking for a book that will give them the formula\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh yes, an equation; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2013that will give them the <em>recipe<\/em>: \u201cIf you do \u2018A,\u2019 \u2018B,\u2019 \u2018C,\u2019 and \u2018D,\u2019 your kids will turn out perfect.\u201d Doggone it, this book just does not do that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Well, Paul David Tripp is still here in the studio\u2014he didn\u2019t leave. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014<em>almost<\/em> after that last comment! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And he has written a book called <em>Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family<\/em>. It\u2019s not an equation\u2014it is a book filled with the process of redemption and how parents can fulfill, I think, what is the most noble, most challenging assignment I think that is ever given to two people which is\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014give birth, and then raise the next generation, and be a part of assisting God in doing what He wants to do in shaping the soul of their children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul David, I just want to take you to a story in the book that you tell that I just honestly can\u2019t believe that one of your children felt this way. It was on a vacation of yours. You had a tradition of making cinnamon rolls, and they were <em>world class<\/em> cinnamon rolls. [Laughter] One of your kids took issue with this <em>world class<\/em> cinnamon roll that was being homemade\u2014just for him\u2014laboring long and hard on his behalf. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; you know, I knew what was going to happen\u2014these are the best cinnamon rolls in the universe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019d like to be the judge of that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I had put those cinnamon rolls in the oven. I knew that beautiful smell would waft down the hallway, and my children would begin to come out of their rooms to worship. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can almost smell it now.<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> They\u2019d bow at my feet and say, \u201cHow blessed I am to have a father like you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cOh, great cinnamon-roll maker.\u201c [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Well, my first son showed up and said, \u201cDad, do you mind if I make something else for breakfast?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> My first thought was: \u201cWhat are you?\u2014an idiot?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAre you my son?\u201d\u2014is what I\u2019d ask! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And he was then just newly-married and said, \u201cMy wife doesn\u2019t like sweet things for breakfast.\u201d So he makes, for her, scrambled eggs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a personal rejection of <em>you<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely; it\u2019s all about <em>me<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Every parent in the universe knows exactly what you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So what you challenge parents to do in your book is to move away from thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s about me, as a parent;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand it\u2019s about what God wants to do in me, as a parent, and what He also wants to do in our children and use us, as parents, to shape them for the next generation.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I respond to parenting opportunities as an owner\u2014my life \/ my children\u2014or as an ambassador\u2014God\u2019s children and \u201cWhat does it look like to represent what <em>He<\/em> would want to do in the lives of my children?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Explain what He does want to do, just in summary, what we\u2019ve been talking about here this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>He wants my children to experience the power of His grace\u2014insight-giving grace; conviction-producing grace; forgiving grace; transforming grace. I\u2019m always asking the question, every day, again and again: \u201cWhat does God want to accomplish in this moment?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re helping your children grow up spiritually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And one of the things you want to address, as you do that, is their character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; I think it\u2019s very important. I think parents miss this\u2014that not every wrong thing my child does is a direct rebellion to authority. Some of the wrongs my children do are the result of a lack of character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me give you a picture\u2014it\u2019s Tuesday night. It\u2019s an open-floor plan house. Mom is in the kitchen\u2014she\u2019s in nervous, full frenetic work because, in an hour, a family of six is coming over for dinner; and she\u2019s not near being ready. Within view of that, our three children\u2014seven, nine and eleven \u2014 they\u2019re playing Wii<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> bowling\u2014that\u2019s a video game, for those of you still riding a horse. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would ask: \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with this scene?\u201d Well, some of you are thinking, \u201cIf I\u2019m working hard in the kitchen and my children are playing together\u2014God has visited my house!\u201d But there\u2019s something wrong with this scene! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause every one of those children\u2014seven, nine and eleven\u2014not only are sophisticated enough to know that Mom\u2019s in a bad place and needs help, but all of them are in possession of skills that could help their mother; but they <em>don\u2019t care<\/em>. They couldn\u2019t give a rip.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say this: \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t want that person as your neighbor. You wouldn\u2019t want that person as your boss. You wouldn\u2019t want that person as your spouse. It\u2019s <em>not<\/em> okay.\u201d Now, it\u2019s not rebellion; because they haven\u2019t been given a command that they\u2019re disobeying, but there\u2019s something broken inside of them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u2014that doesn\u2019t make them respond to the situation in the way they should walk in and say, \u201cMom, how can I help you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are gorgeous moments of opportunity; because I\u2019m going to say something that will be a surprise to you: \u201cThose character moments connect you to the single most important issue in all of the human existence. I can say it in a word\u2014\u2018worship.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of you\u2014when you hear the word, \u201cworship,\u201d\u2014you think, \u201cSunday morning\u201d \/ you think, \u201cservice.\u201d What you need to understand is\u2014worship for human beings is, first, our identity before it\u2019s ever our activity. We <em>are<\/em> worshippers. You don\u2019t just worship on Sunday. You really worship your way through every moment of every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what does that mean for your children? I think this is just <em>incredibly<\/em> profound. It means that something is always ruling the heart of my child. What rules the heart of my child will then control their responses to the situations in relationship to their life. Think back with that video game moment. What\u2019s ruling the heart of my children? It\u2019s easy to answer\u2014\u201cPleasure.\u201d Is pleasure a bad thing? No; it\u2019s not a bad thing, but it must not rule your heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing. And because pleasure is ruling their hearts, they\u2019re not responding in this way \/ in this situation, when it\u2019s appropriate\u2014when it\u2019s honoring God \/ in a way that\u2019s loving to their mom and dad. <em>Because<\/em> the idol of pleasure rules their hearts, they break both of God\u2019s commands to us\u2014they are not loving God \/ they\u2019re not loving\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re not thinking about the people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u2014their mom. No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thinking of themselves: \u201cWhat\u2019s bringing me pleasure? What\u2019s entertaining to me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Because, ultimately, the idol of idols is <em>self<\/em>. If pleasure, at this moment, is getting me what I want, I don\u2019t care about your need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I think this is very important to say: \u201cParents, hear what I\u2019m about to say: \u2018Your children don\u2019t know that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2019They don\u2019t know that!\u2019\u201d You\u2019ve never had a situation, where you go into a room and say, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you help Mom?\u201d and your child said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m an idolater, of course. My heart was ruled by something else. You should expect worse from me!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo here\u2019s what an ambassador does: \u201cAn ambassador lovingly and patiently unfolds mysteries of the universe to your children.\u201d There are things that God tells us about why people do the things they do that are liberating\u2014insight-giving\u2014that change the whole way you think about yourself and think about life. Don\u2019t go in and just instill guilt\u2014don\u2019t go in and say: \u201cUnplug the game system. Take a look at it\u2014you\u2019ll never see it again. [Laughter] You\u2019ll live a video-gameless life, because how dare you do this to me?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Because here\u2019s a moment where God is revealing something in the heart of that child\u2014the child doesn\u2019t know\u2014<em>that\u2019s<\/em> your job!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow about helping him to see something that has the power to radically change his life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What we\u2019re talking about here really is helping a child grow up, spiritually, and assume responsibility for their own spiritual walk, which does include, as you just said, the greatest commandment: \u201cLove God with all your heart,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s worship\u2014and then to \u201cLove your neighbor as yourself,\u201d\u2014that also was worship \/ it is to assume the responsibility of doing God\u2019s work with the people He\u2019s placed around you on a daily basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But can you really expect a seven-year-old\u2014you said these were seven, nine and eleven\u2014a seven-year-old to have the maturity, at age seven, to say: \u201cYou know what? Mom\u2019s there in the kitchen, having a hard time. I\u2019m just in here playing a video game. I should go help her out and try to make her load lighter,\u201d\u2014seven?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think that God is setting up an opportunity for me to be part of the process of that child becoming aware of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the places where they lack character\u2014<em>we<\/em> lack character, as sinners\u2014is our willingness to own responsibility for our own behavior. We all carry around with us an inner lawyer that naturally makes us rise to our defense. All of us like to think we\u2019re more righteous than unrighteous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t expect that the minute I have this conversation my child is going to say: \u201cThat\u2019s exactly me. I agree with you\u201d; but I\u2019m thankful for the opportunity. We\u2019re going to have that again and again. I\u2019m not <em>demanding<\/em> that this be a snapshot\u2014I know we\u2019ve been called to a process of grace. I want him to begin to understand what\u2019s going on inside of him. One of the key things I want him to begin to get hold of is that his heart is always under the rulership of <em>something<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to give you a family example. I\u2019m doing this with my youngest son, Darnay, from earliest days\u2014I mean, three\/four years old\u2014having these conversations. I know he\u2019s not going to fully understand this conversation, but I know he\u2019s assimilating bits and pieces. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDarnay is now a sports broadcaster\u2014he was a very good athlete \/ he was a great basketball player. He would come home from school and he would shoot foul shots, trying to get his percentage up\u2014in sets of 100. I would be used to hearing the rhythm of the ball\u2014I\u2019m making dinner\u2014and it stops. He comes in. He\u2019s got the ball under his arm\u2014this is a 15-year-old\u2014and he asks me this question\u2014he said, \u201cDad, how do you know when a good thing like basketball has become an idol in your life?\u201d I ran across the room, I threw my arms around him and I said: \u201cPraise God! Praise God! Praise God! Praise God that you would <em>ever<\/em> ask that question! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; really!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u201cThat\u2019s God\u2019s grace! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou were out there\u2014I wasn\u2019t lecturing to you. That was in your heart; and you began to wonder, \u2018Have I allowed this thing to be more in my life than it should be?\u2019 <em>That\u2019s<\/em> rescuing grace.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, where did that insight begin?\u2014at [ages] three, and four, and five\u2014and endless conversations. Now, it\u2019s not Dad talking to son anymore; it\u2019s the Spirit of God talking to the son, but with content from those conversations over all those years. That\u2019s parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s got it. In fact, I love a statement you made to Bob and me, earlier, just about this idea that we\u2019re\u2014we\u2019re always defending ourselves \/ we have an internal lawyer. You said you don\u2019t have an internal lawyer\u2014you said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u201cI have an internal <em>law firm<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] So I know what this is like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A whole bunch of attorneys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes! Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Some of us, honestly, that\u2019s how we deal\u2014our hearts aren\u2019t teachable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re not willing to hear the truth. By the way, as a parent, if you\u2019re not willing to hear the truth, it\u2019s going to be hard for you to dispense the truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> You have to affirm or you will not be that tender ambassador\u2014that you\u2019re more like that child than unlike him. When you recognize your desperate need of grace, you are much more pre-dispositioned to give grace to that child. It\u2019s when you walk into the room\u2014affirming your righteousness\u2014that you tend to beat the kid with the law because\u2014listen, to the unrighteous \/ the people recognize they\u2019re unrighteous\u2014the law is no hope-giver. It\u2019s when you recognize your need of grace\u2014and you <em>feel<\/em>, in your heart, the <em>relief<\/em> of the grace of Jesus\u2014that you want to give that grace to your child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to ask you a very practical question and that is: \u201cDoes the rod play a role in developing character in a child?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Sure it does! I love Proverbs 22, where it says, \u201cFoolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s what the Bible\u2019s saying\u2014the most\u2014the most dangerous thing inside of my child is foolishness. What\u2019s the epicenter of foolishness according to the Psalms?\u2014denial of God. I don\u2019t think that the Psalmist is in any way talking about philosophical atheism. It\u2019s talking about, in my everyday life, I live like God doesn\u2019t exist\u2014I put myself in the center of the world and make it all about me. That foolishness is inside of my child. That foolishness will destroy his life\u2014but he\u2019s got a problem\u2014he\u2019s six years old, and he doesn\u2019t understand the implications of this foolishness to everyday life because he lacks experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what God has done\u2014He\u2019s ordained a painful consequence to get placed next to an act of foolishness so the child begins to understand: \u201cWhen I do foolish things, bad things happen,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the connection! That\u2019s a beautiful thing. Actually, it\u2019s not like I quit dealing with the heart and then I administer physical discipline. Physical discipline is targeting the heart, because it\u2019s teaching the child something about the dangers of his foolishness that he can never get on his own; because he lacks experience to understand the implications of his foolishness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A lot of young parents today, recoiling at the idea of bringing a rod of correction \/ bringing physical punishment toward a child\u2014what would you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Well, I would say this: \u201cIf you\u2019re pushing, shoving, pinching, yanking, slapping your children\u2014you\u2019re abusing your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That has nothing to do with the careful grace of physical discipline\u2014where I know I have to do it \/ I pray that God would give me love and tenderness and grace as I do it. I do that carefully\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I combine it with instruction and correction; I give the child an opportunity to confess his misbehavior \/ to cry out for God\u2019s help\u2014I\u2019m surrounding this with beautiful things; but I know that there\u2019s a time bomb inside of this child. The earlier that foolishness is driven out, the more protection of God\u2019s grace comes into the life of that child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible calls us to things that are so wise. The Proverbs just\u2014just lays out the wisdom of this. Our replacements are not wise. I want to say this to parents: \u201cStop counting! Can you imagine God giving us His law on Mount Sinai, saying, \u2018Thou shalt not murder\u2014one, two, three, four.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And stop negotiating too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Stop treating your child like he or she is a peer. <em>You<\/em> are the parent. God put you in the child\u2019s life, as we\u2019ve been talking about here this week, to help shape the soul of the child and grow him or her up to maturity to become an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That exercise of authority is such a grace, because it goes after two lies that every child believes. One is the lie of autonomy: \u201cMy life belongs to me, and I have the right to use it however I want.\u201d That\u2019s a lie. If there is a Creator, He owns you\u2014there\u2019s no such thing as human autonomy. The second lie is the lie of self-sufficiency: \u201cI have everything inside of myself to be what I\u2019m supposed to be and do what I\u2019m supposed to do.\u201d You see both of those lies in your children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat authority does is reminds my children that neither one of those things is true; because, if you take a young person, who\u2019s now 19 or 20, and they still believe in autonomy and self-sufficiency, they will destroy their lives. We were <em>meant<\/em> to live under authority \/ we were meant to <em>humbly<\/em> recognize that we are dependent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour children have stuff inside of them that will take them in a direction that will lead to the sad destruction of their lives\u2014they need rescue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou will choose to rescue or indulge, and you\u2019ve been called to rescue. How important is that? Well, if you are an ambassador, that\u2019s how God chose to deal with His broken world: \u201cI\u2019m going to send a Rescuer; His name is Jesus. We\u2019re going to turn this thing around because I know where My creatures are heading, and it\u2019s not good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAnd We are going to give them a new heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand an ability to be able to please God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just have to say\u2014if you don\u2019t do this kind of stuff that we\u2019re talking about here, I can\u2019t guarantee this is going to be the end result\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but we have a lot of young people today, that I\u2019m seeing, who live with this philosophy of entitlement, where: \u201cThey\u2019ve been born in this country; therefore, they are entitled to be happy \/ entitled for material privileges.\u201d They don\u2019t understand that they\u2019re not going to be able to have it all\u2014increasingly, that\u2019s going to be true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul David, I want to thank you for your book, <em>Parenting<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s a great book \/ it\u2019s a stimulating book. I\u2019m going to give this one right here to one of my children\u2014I\u2019m praying about which one to give it to, because we\u2019ve got a lot going on in our family [Laughter] with a bunch of grandkids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis would make a great book for grandparents to give to their adult children, who are raising the next generation\u2014or if you\u2019re just starting out parenting or if you\u2019re raising a teenager\u2014I think this will be a book that brings a lot of hope to your life, as a parent, and bring a lot of perspective. I think, ultimately, it\u2019s going to bring a lot of growth to your life in your relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Paul David\u2014thanks for being with us. I sure hope you\u2019ll come back in spite of how Bob and I offend you. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I will, and I\u2019ll expect the offense.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and we\u2019ll get a chance to get right to it, here in a couple of weeks, because Paul is going to be with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise, Valentines week. We\u2019re glad that you and Luella are going to be with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the meantime, if folks would like a copy of your book, <em>Parenting<\/em>, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order the book from us online. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order\u2014-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, anytime we talk about a subject like we\u2019ve talked about today, I\u2019m reminded of a survey we did\u2014and this was a number of years ago\u2014where we asked listeners, \u201cWhat are the areas that you need and want help in most?\u201d When it came to parenting, the number one issue was the spiritual formation of a child: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do I help my child connect with the heart of God and learn to walk with God, day in and day out?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, we\u2019re committed to providing you with practical biblical help and hope each day so that you can, as a mom\/as a dad, lead your son and your daughter in the right direction\u2014lead them along the paths of righteousness. Ultimately, they\u2019re going to have to decide who they\u2019re going to follow; but we want to help you, as parents, know how you can get them pointed in the right direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a whole team of people who stand with us, seeking to influence as many parents as possible with this kind of a message, and that\u2019s our Legacy Partners. Legacy Partners are monthly supporters of this ministry\u2014people who will give a donation of $25 or $35 or $40 or $50 a month. They do it so that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> can continue on their local radio station but, also, so that we can reach more and more people every year with the kind of practical biblical help and hope you\u2019ve heard on today\u2019s program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you ever considered becoming a monthly Legacy Partner and helping to support this ministry? Today would be a great day for you to join the team. You can do that easily by going to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a donation today\u2014either your first monthly gift as a Legacy Partner \/ or if it\u2019s a one-time gift in support of this ministry\u2014be sure to ask for the gift we\u2019d love to send you\u2014it\u2019s a part of the Ever Thine Home<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> collection that Barbara Rainey has developed. This is a heart-shaped chalkboard, designed to have a place in your home where you can communicate your love for one another in your family. It\u2019s our gift to you when you become a Legacy Partner or when you make a donation today in support of the ministry of FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, you can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to join the Legacy Partner team or to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue our conversation about parenting. Brian and Angela Haynes are going to be with us, and we\u2019re going to talk about some of the challenges they\u2019ve faced as they have led their kids through the teen years. I hope you can tune in and be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["29.01M"],"filesize_raw":["30419170"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304354.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304354.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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child is a good child, right? Paul David Tripp says, \"not so fast.\" Parents often make the mistake of expecting Christian character to be built in at birth.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-01-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a parent, you realize, undoubtedly, that at the core of your child is selfishness; right? Here\u2019s Paul David Tripp.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Ultimately, the idol of idols is <em>self<\/em>. Parents, hear what I am about to say: \u201cYour children don\u2019t know that! How about helping him to see something that has the power to radically change his life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey. I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about the big things parents need to make sure we are teaching our children\u2014the big things we\u2019ve got to make sure they\u2019re getting. Stay with us.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think we\u2019ve got a lot of listeners who are going to be disappointed with the book that Paul Tripp has written.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Laughing] Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Still laughing] Well that\u2019s a great way\u2014that\u2019s a great way \/ a <em>new<\/em> <em>way<\/em> to offend a guest, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I am so thankful right now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the reason why I say that; because I think we have a lot of listeners, who are like Mary Ann and I were when we had kids at home\u2013they\u2019re looking for a book that will give them the formula\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh yes, an equation; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2013that will give them the <em>recipe<\/em>: \u201cIf you do \u2018A,\u2019 \u2018B,\u2019 \u2018C,\u2019 and \u2018D,\u2019 your kids will turn out perfect.\u201d Doggone it, this book just does not do that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes. Well, Paul David Tripp is still here in the studio\u2014he didn\u2019t leave. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right\u2014<em>almost<\/em> after that last comment! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And he has written a book called <em>Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family<\/em>. It\u2019s not an equation\u2014it is a book filled with the process of redemption and how parents can fulfill, I think, what is the most noble, most challenging assignment I think that is ever given to two people which is\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014give birth, and then raise the next generation, and be a part of assisting God in doing what He wants to do in shaping the soul of their children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul David, I just want to take you to a story in the book that you tell that I just honestly can\u2019t believe that one of your children felt this way. It was on a vacation of yours. You had a tradition of making cinnamon rolls, and they were <em>world class<\/em> cinnamon rolls. [Laughter] One of your kids took issue with this <em>world class<\/em> cinnamon roll that was being homemade\u2014just for him\u2014laboring long and hard on his behalf. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; you know, I knew what was going to happen\u2014these are the best cinnamon rolls in the universe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019d like to be the judge of that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I had put those cinnamon rolls in the oven. I knew that beautiful smell would waft down the hallway, and my children would begin to come out of their rooms to worship. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can almost smell it now.<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> They\u2019d bow at my feet and say, \u201cHow blessed I am to have a father like you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cOh, great cinnamon-roll maker.\u201c [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Well, my first son showed up and said, \u201cDad, do you mind if I make something else for breakfast?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> My first thought was: \u201cWhat are you?\u2014an idiot?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAre you my son?\u201d\u2014is what I\u2019d ask! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And he was then just newly-married and said, \u201cMy wife doesn\u2019t like sweet things for breakfast.\u201d So he makes, for her, scrambled eggs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a personal rejection of <em>you<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely; it\u2019s all about <em>me<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Every parent in the universe knows exactly what you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So what you challenge parents to do in your book is to move away from thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s about me, as a parent;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand it\u2019s about what God wants to do in me, as a parent, and what He also wants to do in our children and use us, as parents, to shape them for the next generation.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I respond to parenting opportunities as an owner\u2014my life \/ my children\u2014or as an ambassador\u2014God\u2019s children and \u201cWhat does it look like to represent what <em>He<\/em> would want to do in the lives of my children?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Explain what He does want to do, just in summary, what we\u2019ve been talking about here this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>He wants my children to experience the power of His grace\u2014insight-giving grace; conviction-producing grace; forgiving grace; transforming grace. I\u2019m always asking the question, every day, again and again: \u201cWhat does God want to accomplish in this moment?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re helping your children grow up spiritually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And one of the things you want to address, as you do that, is their character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; I think it\u2019s very important. I think parents miss this\u2014that not every wrong thing my child does is a direct rebellion to authority. Some of the wrongs my children do are the result of a lack of character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me give you a picture\u2014it\u2019s Tuesday night. It\u2019s an open-floor plan house. Mom is in the kitchen\u2014she\u2019s in nervous, full frenetic work because, in an hour, a family of six is coming over for dinner; and she\u2019s not near being ready. Within view of that, our three children\u2014seven, nine and eleven \u2014 they\u2019re playing Wii<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> bowling\u2014that\u2019s a video game, for those of you still riding a horse. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would ask: \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with this scene?\u201d Well, some of you are thinking, \u201cIf I\u2019m working hard in the kitchen and my children are playing together\u2014God has visited my house!\u201d But there\u2019s something wrong with this scene! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause every one of those children\u2014seven, nine and eleven\u2014not only are sophisticated enough to know that Mom\u2019s in a bad place and needs help, but all of them are in possession of skills that could help their mother; but they <em>don\u2019t care<\/em>. They couldn\u2019t give a rip.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say this: \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t want that person as your neighbor. You wouldn\u2019t want that person as your boss. You wouldn\u2019t want that person as your spouse. It\u2019s <em>not<\/em> okay.\u201d Now, it\u2019s not rebellion; because they haven\u2019t been given a command that they\u2019re disobeying, but there\u2019s something broken inside of them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u2014that doesn\u2019t make them respond to the situation in the way they should walk in and say, \u201cMom, how can I help you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are gorgeous moments of opportunity; because I\u2019m going to say something that will be a surprise to you: \u201cThose character moments connect you to the single most important issue in all of the human existence. I can say it in a word\u2014\u2018worship.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of you\u2014when you hear the word, \u201cworship,\u201d\u2014you think, \u201cSunday morning\u201d \/ you think, \u201cservice.\u201d What you need to understand is\u2014worship for human beings is, first, our identity before it\u2019s ever our activity. We <em>are<\/em> worshippers. You don\u2019t just worship on Sunday. You really worship your way through every moment of every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what does that mean for your children? I think this is just <em>incredibly<\/em> profound. It means that something is always ruling the heart of my child. What rules the heart of my child will then control their responses to the situations in relationship to their life. Think back with that video game moment. What\u2019s ruling the heart of my children? It\u2019s easy to answer\u2014\u201cPleasure.\u201d Is pleasure a bad thing? No; it\u2019s not a bad thing, but it must not rule your heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing. And because pleasure is ruling their hearts, they\u2019re not responding in this way \/ in this situation, when it\u2019s appropriate\u2014when it\u2019s honoring God \/ in a way that\u2019s loving to their mom and dad. <em>Because<\/em> the idol of pleasure rules their hearts, they break both of God\u2019s commands to us\u2014they are not loving God \/ they\u2019re not loving\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re not thinking about the people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u2014their mom. No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thinking of themselves: \u201cWhat\u2019s bringing me pleasure? What\u2019s entertaining to me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Because, ultimately, the idol of idols is <em>self<\/em>. If pleasure, at this moment, is getting me what I want, I don\u2019t care about your need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I think this is very important to say: \u201cParents, hear what I\u2019m about to say: \u2018Your children don\u2019t know that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2019They don\u2019t know that!\u2019\u201d You\u2019ve never had a situation, where you go into a room and say, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you help Mom?\u201d and your child said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m an idolater, of course. My heart was ruled by something else. You should expect worse from me!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo here\u2019s what an ambassador does: \u201cAn ambassador lovingly and patiently unfolds mysteries of the universe to your children.\u201d There are things that God tells us about why people do the things they do that are liberating\u2014insight-giving\u2014that change the whole way you think about yourself and think about life. Don\u2019t go in and just instill guilt\u2014don\u2019t go in and say: \u201cUnplug the game system. Take a look at it\u2014you\u2019ll never see it again. [Laughter] You\u2019ll live a video-gameless life, because how dare you do this to me?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Because here\u2019s a moment where God is revealing something in the heart of that child\u2014the child doesn\u2019t know\u2014<em>that\u2019s<\/em> your job!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow about helping him to see something that has the power to radically change his life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What we\u2019re talking about here really is helping a child grow up, spiritually, and assume responsibility for their own spiritual walk, which does include, as you just said, the greatest commandment: \u201cLove God with all your heart,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s worship\u2014and then to \u201cLove your neighbor as yourself,\u201d\u2014that also was worship \/ it is to assume the responsibility of doing God\u2019s work with the people He\u2019s placed around you on a daily basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But can you really expect a seven-year-old\u2014you said these were seven, nine and eleven\u2014a seven-year-old to have the maturity, at age seven, to say: \u201cYou know what? Mom\u2019s there in the kitchen, having a hard time. I\u2019m just in here playing a video game. I should go help her out and try to make her load lighter,\u201d\u2014seven?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think that God is setting up an opportunity for me to be part of the process of that child becoming aware of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the places where they lack character\u2014<em>we<\/em> lack character, as sinners\u2014is our willingness to own responsibility for our own behavior. We all carry around with us an inner lawyer that naturally makes us rise to our defense. All of us like to think we\u2019re more righteous than unrighteous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t expect that the minute I have this conversation my child is going to say: \u201cThat\u2019s exactly me. I agree with you\u201d; but I\u2019m thankful for the opportunity. We\u2019re going to have that again and again. I\u2019m not <em>demanding<\/em> that this be a snapshot\u2014I know we\u2019ve been called to a process of grace. I want him to begin to understand what\u2019s going on inside of him. One of the key things I want him to begin to get hold of is that his heart is always under the rulership of <em>something<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to give you a family example. I\u2019m doing this with my youngest son, Darnay, from earliest days\u2014I mean, three\/four years old\u2014having these conversations. I know he\u2019s not going to fully understand this conversation, but I know he\u2019s assimilating bits and pieces. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDarnay is now a sports broadcaster\u2014he was a very good athlete \/ he was a great basketball player. He would come home from school and he would shoot foul shots, trying to get his percentage up\u2014in sets of 100. I would be used to hearing the rhythm of the ball\u2014I\u2019m making dinner\u2014and it stops. He comes in. He\u2019s got the ball under his arm\u2014this is a 15-year-old\u2014and he asks me this question\u2014he said, \u201cDad, how do you know when a good thing like basketball has become an idol in your life?\u201d I ran across the room, I threw my arms around him and I said: \u201cPraise God! Praise God! Praise God! Praise God that you would <em>ever<\/em> ask that question! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; really!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u201cThat\u2019s God\u2019s grace! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou were out there\u2014I wasn\u2019t lecturing to you. That was in your heart; and you began to wonder, \u2018Have I allowed this thing to be more in my life than it should be?\u2019 <em>That\u2019s<\/em> rescuing grace.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, where did that insight begin?\u2014at [ages] three, and four, and five\u2014and endless conversations. Now, it\u2019s not Dad talking to son anymore; it\u2019s the Spirit of God talking to the son, but with content from those conversations over all those years. That\u2019s parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s got it. In fact, I love a statement you made to Bob and me, earlier, just about this idea that we\u2019re\u2014we\u2019re always defending ourselves \/ we have an internal lawyer. You said you don\u2019t have an internal lawyer\u2014you said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> \u201cI have an internal <em>law firm<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] So I know what this is like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A whole bunch of attorneys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes! Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Some of us, honestly, that\u2019s how we deal\u2014our hearts aren\u2019t teachable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re not willing to hear the truth. By the way, as a parent, if you\u2019re not willing to hear the truth, it\u2019s going to be hard for you to dispense the truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> You have to affirm or you will not be that tender ambassador\u2014that you\u2019re more like that child than unlike him. When you recognize your desperate need of grace, you are much more pre-dispositioned to give grace to that child. It\u2019s when you walk into the room\u2014affirming your righteousness\u2014that you tend to beat the kid with the law because\u2014listen, to the unrighteous \/ the people recognize they\u2019re unrighteous\u2014the law is no hope-giver. It\u2019s when you recognize your need of grace\u2014and you <em>feel<\/em>, in your heart, the <em>relief<\/em> of the grace of Jesus\u2014that you want to give that grace to your child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have to ask you a very practical question and that is: \u201cDoes the rod play a role in developing character in a child?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Sure it does! I love Proverbs 22, where it says, \u201cFoolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s what the Bible\u2019s saying\u2014the most\u2014the most dangerous thing inside of my child is foolishness. What\u2019s the epicenter of foolishness according to the Psalms?\u2014denial of God. I don\u2019t think that the Psalmist is in any way talking about philosophical atheism. It\u2019s talking about, in my everyday life, I live like God doesn\u2019t exist\u2014I put myself in the center of the world and make it all about me. That foolishness is inside of my child. That foolishness will destroy his life\u2014but he\u2019s got a problem\u2014he\u2019s six years old, and he doesn\u2019t understand the implications of this foolishness to everyday life because he lacks experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what God has done\u2014He\u2019s ordained a painful consequence to get placed next to an act of foolishness so the child begins to understand: \u201cWhen I do foolish things, bad things happen,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the connection! That\u2019s a beautiful thing. Actually, it\u2019s not like I quit dealing with the heart and then I administer physical discipline. Physical discipline is targeting the heart, because it\u2019s teaching the child something about the dangers of his foolishness that he can never get on his own; because he lacks experience to understand the implications of his foolishness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A lot of young parents today, recoiling at the idea of bringing a rod of correction \/ bringing physical punishment toward a child\u2014what would you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Well, I would say this: \u201cIf you\u2019re pushing, shoving, pinching, yanking, slapping your children\u2014you\u2019re abusing your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That has nothing to do with the careful grace of physical discipline\u2014where I know I have to do it \/ I pray that God would give me love and tenderness and grace as I do it. I do that carefully\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I combine it with instruction and correction; I give the child an opportunity to confess his misbehavior \/ to cry out for God\u2019s help\u2014I\u2019m surrounding this with beautiful things; but I know that there\u2019s a time bomb inside of this child. The earlier that foolishness is driven out, the more protection of God\u2019s grace comes into the life of that child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible calls us to things that are so wise. The Proverbs just\u2014just lays out the wisdom of this. Our replacements are not wise. I want to say this to parents: \u201cStop counting! Can you imagine God giving us His law on Mount Sinai, saying, \u2018Thou shalt not murder\u2014one, two, three, four.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And stop negotiating too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Stop treating your child like he or she is a peer. <em>You<\/em> are the parent. God put you in the child\u2019s life, as we\u2019ve been talking about here this week, to help shape the soul of the child and grow him or her up to maturity to become an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That exercise of authority is such a grace, because it goes after two lies that every child believes. One is the lie of autonomy: \u201cMy life belongs to me, and I have the right to use it however I want.\u201d That\u2019s a lie. If there is a Creator, He owns you\u2014there\u2019s no such thing as human autonomy. The second lie is the lie of self-sufficiency: \u201cI have everything inside of myself to be what I\u2019m supposed to be and do what I\u2019m supposed to do.\u201d You see both of those lies in your children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat authority does is reminds my children that neither one of those things is true; because, if you take a young person, who\u2019s now 19 or 20, and they still believe in autonomy and self-sufficiency, they will destroy their lives. We were <em>meant<\/em> to live under authority \/ we were meant to <em>humbly<\/em> recognize that we are dependent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour children have stuff inside of them that will take them in a direction that will lead to the sad destruction of their lives\u2014they need rescue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou will choose to rescue or indulge, and you\u2019ve been called to rescue. How important is that? Well, if you are an ambassador, that\u2019s how God chose to deal with His broken world: \u201cI\u2019m going to send a Rescuer; His name is Jesus. We\u2019re going to turn this thing around because I know where My creatures are heading, and it\u2019s not good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cAnd We are going to give them a new heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand an ability to be able to please God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just have to say\u2014if you don\u2019t do this kind of stuff that we\u2019re talking about here, I can\u2019t guarantee this is going to be the end result\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but we have a lot of young people today, that I\u2019m seeing, who live with this philosophy of entitlement, where: \u201cThey\u2019ve been born in this country; therefore, they are entitled to be happy \/ entitled for material privileges.\u201d They don\u2019t understand that they\u2019re not going to be able to have it all\u2014increasingly, that\u2019s going to be true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul David, I want to thank you for your book, <em>Parenting<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s a great book \/ it\u2019s a stimulating book. I\u2019m going to give this one right here to one of my children\u2014I\u2019m praying about which one to give it to, because we\u2019ve got a lot going on in our family [Laughter] with a bunch of grandkids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis would make a great book for grandparents to give to their adult children, who are raising the next generation\u2014or if you\u2019re just starting out parenting or if you\u2019re raising a teenager\u2014I think this will be a book that brings a lot of hope to your life, as a parent, and bring a lot of perspective. I think, ultimately, it\u2019s going to bring a lot of growth to your life in your relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Paul David\u2014thanks for being with us. I sure hope you\u2019ll come back in spite of how Bob and I offend you. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I will, and I\u2019ll expect the offense.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and we\u2019ll get a chance to get right to it, here in a couple of weeks, because Paul is going to be with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise, Valentines week. We\u2019re glad that you and Luella are going to be with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the meantime, if folks would like a copy of your book, <em>Parenting<\/em>, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order the book from us online. Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order\u2014-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, anytime we talk about a subject like we\u2019ve talked about today, I\u2019m reminded of a survey we did\u2014and this was a number of years ago\u2014where we asked listeners, \u201cWhat are the areas that you need and want help in most?\u201d When it came to parenting, the number one issue was the spiritual formation of a child: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do I help my child connect with the heart of God and learn to walk with God, day in and day out?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, we\u2019re committed to providing you with practical biblical help and hope each day so that you can, as a mom\/as a dad, lead your son and your daughter in the right direction\u2014lead them along the paths of righteousness. Ultimately, they\u2019re going to have to decide who they\u2019re going to follow; but we want to help you, as parents, know how you can get them pointed in the right direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a whole team of people who stand with us, seeking to influence as many parents as possible with this kind of a message, and that\u2019s our Legacy Partners. Legacy Partners are monthly supporters of this ministry\u2014people who will give a donation of $25 or $35 or $40 or $50 a month. They do it so that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> can continue on their local radio station but, also, so that we can reach more and more people every year with the kind of practical biblical help and hope you\u2019ve heard on today\u2019s program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHave you ever considered becoming a monthly Legacy Partner and helping to support this ministry? Today would be a great day for you to join the team. You can do that easily by going to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a donation today\u2014either your first monthly gift as a Legacy Partner \/ or if it\u2019s a one-time gift in support of this ministry\u2014be sure to ask for the gift we\u2019d love to send you\u2014it\u2019s a part of the Ever Thine Home<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> collection that Barbara Rainey has developed. This is a heart-shaped chalkboard, designed to have a place in your home where you can communicate your love for one another in your family. It\u2019s our gift to you when you become a Legacy Partner or when you make a donation today in support of the ministry of FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, you can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to join the Legacy Partner team or to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue our conversation about parenting. Brian and Angela Haynes are going to be with us, and we\u2019re going to talk about some of the challenges they\u2019ve faced as they have led their kids through the teen years. I hope you can tune in and be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304354"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304354"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304354"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304354"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}