{"id":304304,"date":"2016-12-21T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-12-21T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/hope-and-healing-for-broken-families\/"},"modified":"2016-12-21T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-12-21T17:00:00","slug":"hope-and-healing-for-broken-families","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-and-healing-for-broken-families\/","title":{"rendered":"Hope and Healing for Broken Families"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey, along with Jeff Kemp, provide solid biblical answers to questions concerning broken family relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-12-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.95M","filesize_raw":"28256651","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2856,2908,2821],"tags":[6162,6161,6160,4671],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3052,3142,3048,3166],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304304","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adult-children","category-forgiveness","category-reaching-out","tag-broken-homes","tag-broken-marriages","tag-help-for-families","tag-sibling-rivalry","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-bob-lepine","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","cwp_profile-jeff-kemp","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304304\/hope-and-healing-for-broken-families","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304304\/hope-and-healing-for-broken-families","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pRzC6vAGAi\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-and-healing-for-broken-families\/\">Hope and Healing for Broken Families<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-and-healing-for-broken-families\/embed\/#?secret=pRzC6vAGAi\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Hope and Healing for Broken Families&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pRzC6vAGAi\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dennis and Barbara Rainey, along with Jeff Kemp, provide solid biblical answers to questions concerning broken family relationships.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-12-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sibling and family relationships can get messy. The holidays have a way of putting some of that messiness on display. Here's counsel from Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To those of you who are estranged from family members, this would be a real litmus test for you: \u201cAre you able to pray for them genuinely?\u2014and ask God to bless them, and to reach out to them, and to intervene in their lives? Or does your bitterness, and your anger, and your hurt at how you have been estranged end up eating you from the inside out?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, December 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How can we be agents of reconciliation in the midst of family relational messiness? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk about that and other things today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. We had an opportunity this year to do something\u2014I don\u2019t think we have ever done this before. We invited some of our Legacy Partners\u2014folks who support this ministry regularly\u2014to join us for a getaway in San Diego. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and Barbara were there. MaryAnn and I were there. Ron Deal and his wife Nan \/ Jeff Kemp and his wife Stacy joined us. We got together with these supporters, and we had just a limited number of spots available. It was a good opportunity to spend some time talking about marriage and ministry, and what we are doing, and just affirm and appreciate the folks who make this ministry possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob,I haveto tell you\u2014those days were threefun-filled days, because we were meeting with people who were <em>raving<\/em> fans about doing marriage and family God\u2019s way; and they listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I mean, it just was a great privilege to meet them, face to face, and say, \u201cThank you for standing with us as we\u2019re on mission of taking the Bible, practically, and helping people apply it in their marriage and family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we end the year here, I want to turn to you, as a listener. I would just like to challenge you: \u201cWould you stand with us, here at the end of the year, and say, \u2018You know what? I really agree with the power of radio to strengthen marriages and families, not only in our lives, but also the lives of my friends, and family members, and my community, and across the country. I\u2019d like to be a stakeholder in that ministry \/ in that mission.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, I have now been running into listeners\u2014[one was] helping at a Chick-fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> restaurant\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a young man \/ a single guy that I ran into the other day. He said, \u201cI listen to you almost every day, Mr. Rainey.\u201d I said: \u201cTerrific! Way to go. You could really benefit from this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Then I ran into another guy at an airport. He overheard me talking and he said, \u201cAre you Dennis Rainey?\u201d I said, \u201cI am.\u201d He said, \u201cI\u2019m from Monett, Missouri.\u201d [Laughter] Now, Monett is near where I grew up\u2014Ozark, Missouri; okay? So I knew where that was. He said: \u201cMy wife and I listen every day to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and we read your devotional, <em>Moments with You<\/em>. Thanks for doing what you\u2019re doing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And then I ran into a pastor in San Francisco, who was a listener to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. He was <em>effusive<\/em> in thanking us for standing for the family as God designed it\u2014unashamedly, boldly, compassionately, kindly, but staying on mission and helping people where it matters most\u2014in their marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would just come to you, as a listener today, and I\u2019d say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cYou know what? It is yearend. You know that ministries like ours get 60 percent of our donations that we keep this broadcast on the air on this station\u2014it\u2019s that money that fuels it. If you believe in what we\u2019re doing, we need you <em>now<\/em>\u2014not tomorrow \/ not next year\u2014we need you <em>now<\/em> to say: \u2018I like your mission. I like what you guys are doing. And I want to stand with you as never before.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We recently had to make the decision to go off the air in a couple of cities\u2014always a hard decision to make because you know there are folks who rely on this program each day to provide them with practical help and hope for their marriage and their family. But in a community, we\u2019ve got to be good stewards of the resources that are available. If the funding is not there, we have to make the hard choice sometimes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And Bob, that is what a listener needs to know. This broadcast is here today because somebody, yesterday, paid for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They are keeping it on the station <em>now<\/em> so you can enjoy these broadcasts and benefit from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you are able to help with a yearend donation, this is a <em>great<\/em> time to make your donation because of a matching gift that has been made available to us, here at yearend. Michelle Hill, our friend Michelle, is here to give us the update on the matching-gift opportunity. She is our designated Matching Gift Monitor here during the month of December. So explain to everybody how this works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s pretty simple. When you give, other generous people add twice that amount, and your gift is tripled. But Bob, I have some pretty exciting news. We\u2019ve just heard from some generous folks who have decided to add over half a million additional dollars to our match. Thanks to these folks, the match is now one point eight million dollars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what that means is that the gifts of hundreds of folks like Kathleen and Napoleon and Ben will continue to be tripled. So, thank you for whatever you can give, it will be tripled up to one point eight million dollars, oh and I almost forgot\u2026right now we\u2019re at just over eight hundred thousand dollars.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it\u2019s easy to make a donation. You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; the zip code is 72223. Michelle, thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were talking about being with friends of ours, back in San Diego, in the summertime. One of the things we had a chance to do was to spend a little time talking about relationships. It was a Q&amp;A time with listeners who were there. We thought we would share some of those questions and how we answered them on today\u2019s program. We\u2019ll take you into the ballroom where there were about 40 couples gathered. We were talking about the challenges that all of us face in marriage and family relationships and looking at what the Bible has to say about these things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Q&amp;A Time]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This side of the room, whose got a question over here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male Guest: <\/strong>My wife and I have just experienced so many people whose families or siblings\u2014they don\u2019t love each \/ they don\u2019t get along. And a lot of them are Christian families and the siblings. My question is: \u201cHow can we help our children to maintain loving relationships with their siblings as they leave home and build families of their own?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a great question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That is a great question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think, first of all, you got to take sibling rivalry, as they grow up, and you have to teach them how to ask for forgiveness and how to forgive when they\u2019re kids. Now, having said that, as you raise children through adolescence and into adulthood, you have to take your hands off of them and let them hammer out their own way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, as parents, we would love to step in like we did when they were children or young people and help resolve; but they\u2019re adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019ve got to work it out. I think we\u2019ve got to entrust our kids to Almighty God to let Him do His work in them. Let them work out their relationships. I don\u2019t think, as parents of adults, we\u2019ve got to walk around being disciplinarians. In fact, our kids need us to assume a different type of authority when we move into dealing with them as adult children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow would you answer it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, I would just add that I think we, sometimes, as Christians, have expectations of perfection for our families. I think we have this image that\u2019s probably not very realistic. Kind David had kids that didn\u2019t get along real well either. I just think that we expect more of our kids than we should. Would I <em>love<\/em> it that all of our kids were best friends? Yes, I would love for my children to all be best friends; but they\u2019re not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not because they don\u2019t <em>like<\/em> each other. Part of it is because they are geographically spread out all over the country. But then, even if they did live near each other, they all have different values and they married different people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know, for myself, I have three brothers. We weren\u2019t very close when we all first got married. We lived in different parts of the country too. We\u2019re not super close now either, but we\u2019re much more connected now that we\u2019re older than we were when we were all in our 20s and 30s. I mean, we were all just trying to keep our heads above water with our kids; right? And now, our kids are in that boat. They\u2019re trying to keep their heads above water and survive, because they all have children that are primarily 12 and under. It just takes a lot of time and effort.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> One of the things that has surprised us the most about a family is adult children. The adult children thing has forced us, as parents, to pray more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs Barbara was talking about\u2014really evaluate our own expectations of our kids. At points, go: \u201cWe\u2019re a little na\u00efve. Do you really think it\u2019s going to be a Norman Rockwell painting with all the kids dutifully seated around the table all the way through adulthood?\u201d They have to be their own people. We\u2019re cheering them on as they do that, by the way. Our kids get along; but there are still issues that we, as parents, see. I don\u2019t think we\u2019ll ever stop seeing because we\u2019re mom and dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I memorized, 20 years ago, a verse that has helped me a lot\u2014it\u2019s Romans 12:18. It says,\u201d If possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a great verse because it says: \u201cHere is the goal: Be at peace with all men.\u201d It acknowledges that sometimes that\u2019s not possible and sometimes that doesn\u2019t depend on you. But if possible, as far as it depends on you, God wants you to be at peace with all men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d probably just say something like that and say, \u201cYou feel like you\u2019re pursuing that in this relationship?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I\u2019d keep my mouth shut pretty much beyond that. Parents are probably the wrong people to try to fix sibling issues. That needs to happen between siblings and that needs to happen with their extended friends. We can\u2019t get in the middle of that one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I would double underline that. You really can\u2019t set up a triangle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014where mom and dad are reengaging the kids, trying to fix it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It won\u2019t work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That will not work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Got a question on this side of room?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female Guest:<\/strong> My question kind of piggybacks off that. Let\u2019s go up a generation\u2014to us being siblings and having estranged family members\u2014and whether they are believers or not\u2014how destructive that is in a family. Have you seen that resolved in any way? Can you speak to how that might work resolution between siblings that are estranged from one another?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> God\u2019s not pleased when we\u2019re estranged from one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think all families have some of those, somewhere along the way. I have a great aunt. She and her brother haven\u2019t spoken in 50 years, and that\u2019s not anything that anybody can fix. That\u2019s only fixable by those two people. Somebody\u2014just like in a marriage\u2014somebody has to say: \u201cI want to fix this. I want to submit to God. I want to own my part. I want to deal with this,\u201d\u2014that the change can begin with us, as individuals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy responsibility is to make sure that my relationship with my brothers is good and to do what I can to love them, and to represent Christ with them, and to trust that they will then want to do the same too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I wonder if we had gone and asked Joseph what he thought about his relationship with his siblings in the midst of him getting sold\u2014what he would have said. And yet, we know what it says in the end, that God was at work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat men intended for evil, God caused for good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the ways\u2014to those of you who are estranged from family members\u2014this would be a real litmus test for you: \u201cAre you able to pray for them genuinely?\u2014and ask God to bless them, and to reach out to them, and to intervene in their lives? Or does your bitterness, and your anger, and your hurt at how you\u2019ve been estranged end up eating you from the inside out?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think God loves the prayer of a helpless parent. He loves the prayer of a helpless sibling that has an adult-estranged relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you\u2019re in a situation like that, one of the things you have to say is, \u201cAm I a contributor to this?\u201d\u00a0 I think of the end of Psalm 139, where the psalmist says, \u201cSearch me, know me, and try my thoughts.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I also think of Mark 3. I\u2019ve just pulled this up: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cA crowd was sitting around Jesus; and they said to him, \u2018Your mother and brother are outside seeking you.\u2019\u00a0 And He answered them, \u2018Who are My mother and My brothers?\u2019 Looking about at those around Him, He said, \u2018Here are My mother and brothers. For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and My sister and My mother.\u2019\u201d There\u2019s some point at which that doesn\u2019t mean we cut off people because they\u2019re not spiritually akin with us, but it means there is a linkage that runs deeper than genetics and blood and that\u2019s our relationship in Christ. Keep your eyes focused on Jesus and love the brothers and sisters that Jesus has given us in the body of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Worldview is going to separate us. Somebody who\u2019s come to faith in Christ and has switched the direction they are headed to becoming an ambassador for Christ, that\u2019s going to cost us. I think Jesus said that: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNo one can be My disciple unless he hate mother and father.\u201d There\u2019s going to be enmity there. I\u2019d be interested. How many here would say they are in some kind of relationship with an adult sibling where things aren\u2019t quite right? Hold your hand up. Just know you\u2019re not alone\u2014about a third of our audience \/ fourth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJeff\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> On that question, we had a fundraising dinner one year at the organization I ran in the Northwest. Steve Largent, the Hall of Fame football player, and teammate, and friend of Stacy\u2019s and mine was the speaker. He told the story I never heard before. I knew that his dad had divorced his mom\u2014he talked about that\u2014when he was a little boy\u2014and then he talked about the pain, and the hurt in his life, and then growing up without his dad, and then going to pro football. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first time his dad ever contacted him was at a playoff game when his dad called and said, \u201cHey, can I get some tickets?\u201d Imagine the hurt for all those years which had basically driven Steve to become a hard-working, pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps successful athlete. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe bitterness of unforgiveness had rested inside this cool Christian man for a long time\u2014it was one of his weak spots. Steve realized that he had enough of God\u2019s grace and had received enough of God\u2019s love that the initiation of the healing had to come from him\u2014not just his prayer that his daddy would come back and apologize for what he had done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve finally let go of expectation and bitterness toward his dad. He thought: \u201cWhat I have done that hasn\u2019t been the best?\u2014what\u2019s the \/ even if it\u2019s a teeny weenie log?\u2014what\u2019s the log in my eye?\u201d Steve actually went to his dad, set up a trip, had a meal with him\u2014and said: \u201cDad, I\u2019d like for you to forgive me. I want to apologize for not being the best son I could be. I\u2019ve not always had the best attitude about you.\u201d He didn\u2019t say one word about everything else. His dad softened\/apologized. They rebuilt a relationship, and they ended their life with some of the camaraderie and family unity that they wanted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt might be with a sibling or it might be with a parent. You may not get the results, but you will be set free: (a) from the unforgiveness and bitterness and (b) by apologizing for whatever part you can take, you have a lot better chance of starting the healing in a situation like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Question over here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Male Guest:<\/strong> What advice can you give to couples, such as us, that have been married for many years but are just now basically having to renew our marriage? What can I do to pursue\u2014not only pursue\u2014but <em>lead<\/em> my wife spiritually?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I would say rejoice that you\u2019re asking the question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Think of how many years you didn\u2019t ask it\u2014so good for you! I\u2019d do a couple of things. I\u2019d find a mentor of a husband, who has loved his life well. I\u2019d ask him if, for 12 months, he would meet with you once a month and coach you in how to nourish, cherish, love, understand,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Different Male Guest<\/strong>: Are you available? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m pretty full up on mentoring right now, but here\u2019s the thing\u2014you never outgrow your <em>need<\/em> to be coached. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I\u2018ll tell you what I would encourage you to do\u2014this is going to sound counterintuitive. Get together a group of guys to study the Bible and you lead it. I can just tell you\u2014sometimes a need like this drives us to go scratch an itch that other people are also in need of scratching. I\u2019d say step out and find half a dozen guys\u2014and I don\u2019t know\u2014get <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and maybe go through it with the application that we\u2019re going to be talking about all the way through here\u2014how we can step up as the spiritual lovers, and leaders, and servants of our wives and our family. Then see what you come up with at the end of ten weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m pulling up a verse here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is from the prophet Joel [2:25, 26], where God says to the nation of Israel: \u201cI will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod restores the years that the locusts have eaten\u2014that\u2019s the promise of Scripture. Humble yourself; be contrite; start the process. God says: \u201cI can restore this. I can give back and rebuild, and you won\u2019t go hungry again.\u201d It takes time for those years to be restored, because it took time for those years to wither. Be patient. On a day when it feels like it was a step back, just stay after it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> God takes wounds, and He turns them into holy scars. Glad you\u2019re asking the question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Somebody on this side\u2014right here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Female Guest:<\/strong> We\u2019re all in this room as Legacy Partners with FamilyLife. I was just wondering, as a group who loves this ministry and is committed to it, where do you see it in five\/ten years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was that a plant? Did he tell you, \u201cHere, ask this question\u201d? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great transition to what I\u2019m about to share with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is a great transition. Should we just break camp and let you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You tell me. It\u2019s a great question. Thank you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And we\u2019re interrupting the question and answer here. We\u2019ve been listening to questions and answers from a group of Legacy Partners. And the reason we\u2019re breaking in here and not letting you answer is because it took you about half an hour for you to answer her question after she asked it. We don\u2019t have half an hour left. So can you summarize it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Probably not! [Laughter]\u00a0 But I can say we want to be the number one trainer and equipper of marriages and families in the world, with the biblical blueprints. We do that through our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do that through our resources \/ our tools: <em>The<\/em> <em>Art Of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, <em>Stepping Up<\/em> and a new series you\u2019re working on, Bob, that will be available in the spring of 2018. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re writing a book on parenting, and we\u2019re doing a video series on parenting along with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re committed to helping you, the listener, be successful in life\u2019s most important commitments. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> wants to be <em>your<\/em> voice for the family. What we want to do here, every day on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, is to bring you the leading experts from the Scriptures around the top issues you\u2019re facing in your marriage, your family\/extended family, and in life and help you be successful the way God defined it. You know, that\u2019s what we do here, every day on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, 260 days a year. Bob, you know we stand for God\u2019s definition of marriage and family. We want to equip people to do marriage and family God\u2019s way, not the world\u2019s way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd finally, we want to help you and others be equipped to reach out in your neighborhoods, your community, and make a difference in marriages and families where you live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So five years from today\u2014those same goals\u2014you just see them expanding to more and more people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I do\u2014millions of volunteers, not only here in America, but around the world. We are in 109 countries around the world. We are anchoring all of this, Bob, in the gospel that Jesus Christ is the One who died for our sins, defeated death, rose from the dead on the third day, and can offer people forgiveness and eternal life as a result of trusting Him. <em>That<\/em> is a message worthy of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that\u2019s what we\u2019re asking our listeners to invest in here, at the end of the year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right, Bob. And to this point\u2014throughout the fall, we\u2019re about 2,000 donors down from where we need to be right now. That\u2019s a significant number of donors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you can give $30, $50, $100, $1,000\u2014your gift will be tripled. You\u2019re going to triple the impact on marriages and families all across the country through <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Your partnership in this ministry makes a difference in marriages and families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying there are friends, who have stood with us in past years, whom we\u2019ve not heard from so far this year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And whether you\u2019re a first-time donor to FamilyLife, or someone who has donated but it\u2019s been awhile, this is a perfect time for you to make a yearend contribution in support of this ministry. We talked earlier about the matching gift that is in place. Your donation is effectively tripled when you make it today. You can make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329. You can also donate by mail. Our address is <em>FamilyLifeToday<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk to a husband and wife who spent six months apart. In fact, I think it is safe to say that this husband and wife were farther apart than any husband and wife have ever been in history. We\u2019ll explain what we mean tomorrow. I hope you can be with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis: Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. 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