{"id":304290,"date":"2016-12-12T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-12-12T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-gift-of-giving\/"},"modified":"2025-01-09T13:26:33","modified_gmt":"2025-01-09T18:26:33","slug":"the-gift-of-giving","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-gift-of-giving\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gift of Giving"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">John Stanley believes many of us aren&#8217;t more generous because we measure generosity by how much money we give away, rather than seeing ourselves as a funnel God can use to bless others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>John Stanley believes many of us aren&#8217;t more generous because we measure generosity by how much money we give away, rather than seeing ourselves as a funnel God can use to bless others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-12-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.63M","filesize_raw":"28968824","date_recorded":"2016-12-12 12:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2851,2866],"tags":[4285,6155,4710,4615,5192],"podcast_series":[8181],"cwp_profile":[9436],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304290","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-finances","category-spiritual-disciplines-essentials-faith","tag-generosity","tag-gifting","tag-giving","tag-gratitude","tag-love-language","podcast_series-connected-for-good","cwp_profile-john-stanley","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304290\/the-gift-of-giving","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304290\/the-gift-of-giving","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DTgfC3SbAd\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-gift-of-giving\/\">The Gift of Giving<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-gift-of-giving\/embed\/#?secret=DTgfC3SbAd\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Gift of Giving&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DTgfC3SbAd\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"John Stanley believes many of us aren't more generous because we measure generosity by how much money we give away, rather than seeing ourselves as a funnel God can use to bless others.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-12-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, December 12th.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.<\/p>\n<p>The famous line from the 1980\u2019s movie, \u201cGreed is good\u201d\u2014John Stanley wants us to rethink that. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.<\/p>\n<p>I think we are talking about something today that, for most of us, doesn\u2019t come naturally.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well now, wait a second. Would you consider yourself to be a generous person?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think, at the core\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Pretty selfish?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think at the core I want to make sure that I\u2019m covered before I\u2019m going to take care of anybody else.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s ask our guest. Let\u2019s see if he was born a generous boy. John Stanley joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; John, what about it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Not a chance.<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Laughter]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Not a chance was I born generous.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re all fundamentally selfish, aren\u2019t we?<\/p>\n<p><strong>2:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes, I think we are born wired with self-interest.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s the case.<\/p>\n<p>Well, John Stanley has written a book called <em>Connected for Good: A Game Plan for a Generous Life<\/em>. You may be saying, \u201cNow wait a second; I don\u2019t have a lot of money.\u201d You don\u2019t have to have a lot of money to be generous.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, John has some great ideas for you to have some competition in your marriage to out give your spouse. We\u2019ll talk about that in a minute.<\/p>\n<p>John is married to Jamie and has been since 1981; he has two adult children, lives in Wisconsin, and gives leadership to the legacy group, and consults with people all over the country around the subject of giving.<\/p>\n<p>I want to go back to this topic that we\u2019re talking about here, how you became a generous man, because you describe yourself today as a generous man, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I do. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You had a stepfather who had a great impact in your life, and his name was Ed Toogood.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> T-o-o-g-o-o-d.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I love that last name.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sounds too good to be true.<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Laughter]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> You know, honestly, this is a man who came into my life when I was 12. My mother was a widow\u2014my father died when I was five\u2014and she was a war-bride, a World War II bride, and she had been a single mom with my sister and I for about seven years. She met this man at church. He was a 45-year bachelor when he met my mother, and he had no idea how to be a father to a son.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Kind of both you and he grew up together, him learning how to be a dad, you learning how to be a son.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s true. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He was training you the whole time, and you described him as being thrifty, but you also described him as teaching you a lot about generosity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. You know, he just had this spirit about him as he gave to me as his stepson that, as I look back\u2014oftentimes we look back in life to discover most about our parents, and I found in these reflections a very, very generous soul with me, because he was trying so hard, and it came so unnaturally for him, right? So this generosity he shared with me, from himself, giving of himself, being present to me, trying so hard, was a real act of generosity. He taught me that being present is a great act of generosity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you described a letter that he wrote you as young man while you were in college. I could tell this was pretty powerful to you emotionally.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> He could put in writing things that he couldn\u2019t share face to face. It was the words and the sense of belonging that I had to him, that I always wanted to hear. So I really became his son, not his stepson, when I read that letter and our relationship started to change.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want you to comment on something here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We all three confessed at the beginning of the broadcast that we\u2019re not generous, because we\u2019re selfish, but beyond that, why aren\u2019t we more generous with our lives, John?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Lots of reasons for that. I think one of the reasons that\u2019s so apparent to we Americans is that we measure generosity by how much money we give away, and by how much time we give away as volunteers. We see that as two currencies, I like to say, that diminish when we give them away.<\/p>\n<p>So, as Americans especially, we\u2019re trying to fill our buckets, right, and we\u2019re just continually filling our buckets, and instead of filling a funnel that God can use we just keep filling a bucket and hold on to it. So we\u2019re not generous because we want to accumulate, and the more we have the more secure we think we are, and it\u2019s not true.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s something in the culture that says accumulation is where happiness comes from, it\u2019s where power comes from; the \u201chaves\u201d live a better life than the \u201chave nots.\u201d Is that what\u2019s fueling us to be accumulators?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. There\u2019s something that I\u2019ve figured out through working with many, many generous people in the country. I really haven\u2019t figured it\u2014let me start here\u2014I really haven\u2019t figured out how to help a person who is not generous become generous. But I have figured out how to help a person who is already generous get more clear and confident about how they want to express generosity. Then those generous lives tend to explode.<\/p>\n<p>There are two qualities\u2014two characteristics, let\u2019s say\u2014that I\u2019ve seen consistently time after time after time of those people who take their lives to a very, very generous place. The first is they have a sense of gratitude, and the second is they have margin.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>They have some margin in their lives of time or capacity of some kind. Margin has nothing to do with how many zeros you have in your bank account. It\u2019s a sense that you get, and I think it\u2019s a God-given sense that\u2019s born out of a sense of gratitude.<\/p>\n<p>You start answering the question, \u201cWell, you know, I think I have enough.\u201d That\u2019s a really hard question to answer, how much is enough, right? Yes. So once you have a sense of gratitude, then you can move to this posture of, \u201cI think I might have enough,\u201d and all of a sudden you have margin and you can be generous.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>When people who\u2014and I think it\u2019s fascinating that you say that you haven\u2019t figured out how to get people who aren\u2019t generous to become generous, and I want to explore that a little bit\u2014but when people who do have some impulse toward generosity, you look at the needs in our world today, you can become overwhelmed pretty quickly by the needs, to where you want to shut down because you don\u2019t feel like the little bit that any of us is able to do can really make a dent in anything.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. One of the things I\u2019ve discovered, Bob, is that if you will\u2014if we\u2014will think about the currencies with which we can be generous as more than just our money and more than just the limited time we have to volunteer, we can think about them in a little bit different ways, and here\u2019s what I mean by that. The first currency\u2014the most undervalued currency, that we all have\u2014is our relational currency; our relational equity, you might call it. Being present to one another in a real, intentional way.<\/p>\n<p>So when Dennis builds a relational bridge between Bob and John, for Bob\u2019s and John\u2019s benefit, not Dennis\u2019s, that\u2019s an act of generosity that Dennis should count when he puts his head on his pillow tonight. So it\u2019s not only line 19 on Dennis\u2019s tax return that measures his generosity, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>9:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, building connections between two people for their benefit, not your own, is a powerful and undervalued act of generosity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You say in your book that most of us as human beings have about 150 potential friends or relationships that we connect with.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. If you will think about that network that you have, those 150 friends, and just take ten of them and try to discern what they might have in common\u2014challenge, opportunity, interest\u2014and intentionally build a bridge between those two people, that\u2019s an act of generosity. The more we do that, the more relationships we have, so it has a multiplier effect when we spend that currency.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Give us an illustration of how you\u2019ve done that in your life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> There\u2019s an eighth-grade girl\u2014this is several years ago\u2014in the core of Milwaukee who I built a relationship with one of my young adult counselors that used to work for me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That young adult, young woman, brought her two or three friends to befriend this young African-American girl in the core of Milwaukee, and helped her build a picture of her future that included three things: it included graduating from high school and getting pregnant after she got married. See, that eighth grade girl now has done those three things, and she got them in the right order, and the chance of her living in poverty went down 90 percent because of the way those young adult women spent their relational currency.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>They didn\u2019t spend a dime on this young girl; they just spent themselves.<\/p>\n<p>So spending ourselves is a way to spend our relational currency, and it\u2019s the first and most important generosity currency.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You look like, at some point in your life, you may have been a runner, or are currently a runner.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>A cyclist, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, I\u2019m told by people who do these kinds of things, that there is a point that you come to in running, or maybe even in cycling, where the endorphins go off and you have this euphoria.<\/p>\n<p><strong>11:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Have you experienced that as a cyclist?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Not as an athlete.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes. Not as an athlete, no.<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Laughter]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> The reason I ask is because you say when it comes to generosity there\u2019s a point that some generous people get to where it\u2019s like the endorphins go off; there\u2019s a transformational quality about their generosity that kind of kicks them into a whole new stratosphere of generosity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes, and the only time that happens, that I\u2019ve seen it happen, is when a person has connected their acts of generosity to their heart\u2019s desire. So it\u2019s not a reacting in a transactional way to a request, as most of our \u201cgenerous acts\u201d are, but it\u2019s discovering what this God-implanted heart\u2019s desire is and acting on that in a generous way. That\u2019s when the endorphins, I would think, kick in, and that\u2019s when folks figure out, \u201cWow, do I have margin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>12:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Can you think of somebody where you\u2019ve seen them kind of get to that level and all of a sudden life has been revolutionized for them?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Many. Gordon Hartman is a beautiful example in San Antonio. Gordon is a friend and a homebuilder for many years. He has a special needs daughter. As a homebuilder, he was connected to every charitable activity in San Antonio and every capital campaign, and he was\u2014lots and lots and lots of requests. It dawned on him one time that his generosity game plan had less to do with the latest capital campaign at the local charity and more to do with Morgan, his special needs daughter.<\/p>\n<p>So he leveraged all of his gifts, all of his strengths, right\u2014his property development and his political connections and his capital connections\u2014to buy a large, abandoned piece of property that was a gravel pit\u2014a sand pit, I think.<\/p>\n<p><strong>13:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He used all of these connections as a master planner to create a center called Morgan\u2019s Wonderland, and it\u2019s the\u2014as of four or five years ago\u2014the only theme park for special needs kids.<\/p>\n<p>So he poured himself into his heart\u2019s desire for special needs kids. All of a sudden what happened to him and his community is that all the other requests he was getting\u2014 \u201cWill you sit on my board?\u201d \u201cWill you be chair of my campaign?\u201d\u2014people kind of figured, \u201cThat\u2019s out of his wheelhouse. He\u2019s into special needs kids now; he\u2019s not into my local Catholic high school.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You also say in your book\u2014and this is, I think, tying into this idea of relational equity, friendships that you have, people that you know that you can connect with others\u2014you say that isolation is the enemy of generosity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> It is indeed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>14:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What you may or may not know, because I don\u2019t know if you and your wife Jamie have been to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, but the conference, the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, is built around the theme that every marriage is either moving toward oneness or it\u2019s moving toward isolation. It\u2019s the law of the universe.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oneness happens as two people come together; isolation happens when two people spin out of control and gradually move apart.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And that\u2019s the natural drift.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Unless you\u2019re intentional about pursuing relationship and oneness, you\u2019re just naturally going to move toward isolation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>I\u2019d say a couple of things about that. First I\u2019d say that, for a healthy couple, there\u2019s a contest in generosity. That\u2019s being intentional with each other to be generous with one another in giving of one\u2019s self and all the currencies that we talk about.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Don\u2019t move past that too fast. Unpack that contest, if you would, because I think this is a great idea.<\/p>\n<p><strong>15:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. So, this is actually a Diane Sawyer quote that great relationships\u2014I think she said great marriages, actually, at one point\u2014\u201cgreat marriages are a contest in generosity.\u201d She\u2019s absolutely right. I go a step farther, and I say great relationships are a contest in generosity. So if you take it out of marriage and get to friendships\u2014but let\u2019s go back to marriage for a minute.<\/p>\n<p>It is absolutely true that when Jamie and I are trying to serve one another, we might say, in a Christian context, those are acts of generosity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, the principle you\u2019re talking about, for years the verse that I guess if I had a life verse I would say this is the one that\u2019s marked my life. It\u2019s Philippians 2:3, that says, \u201cDo nothing from selfishness or empty conceit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And boy, I can be consumed with selfishness and empty conceit on a moment\u2019s notice, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>For sure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>16:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do nothing from those, \u201cbut with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.\u201d It goes on to say, don\u2019t look out for your own interest, but also for the interest of others.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve told couples for years, \u201cIf you can apply those two verses in your marriage to where the only conflict you have is, \u201cNo, you\u2019re important than me\u2014\u201d \u201cNo, you\u2019re more important than me.\u201d If you\u2019re arguing about the fact that the other one\u2019s more important, then maybe you\u2019re at a healthy place in your marriage, where you\u2019re trying to outdo one another in giving to one another.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Who wrote the book <em>Love Languages<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis and Bob:<\/strong> Gary Chapman.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Gary Chapman. When Jamie and I read that book I discovered her love language. She has a very annoying love language. It\u2019s service.<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Laughter]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So I can give her\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s hard to fake service, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> I can give her a shoulder massage, or I can do all kinds of things, and it just comes across as, \u201cblah, blah, blah.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Laughter]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>17:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But when I make her coffee in the morning before she gets up, she gets up and kind of tilts her head and says, \u201cHe loves me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Laughter]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Or when I fill her car up with gas, \u201cHe loves me.\u201d Oh my goodness.<\/p>\n<p>But yes, that\u2019s a way to be generous with Jamie, is to serve her love language.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Paul writes in Second Corinthians chapter nine, \u201cThe point is this\u2014\u201d When Paul says, \u201cThe point is this,\u201d you better listen.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Whatever\u2019s next.<\/p>\n<p><strong>[Laughter]<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThe point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver, and God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all time, you may abound in every good work.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>18:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That passage is loaded with commands and with promises, and it\u2019s some kind of intertwined connection around us obeying God and being generous and sowing abundantly, and then enjoying the endorphins, as Bob was talking about earlier.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. That\u2019s a real challenge, what Paul\u2019s trying to teach us there. My experience has been that fear grips us and is manifest in, \u201cI don\u2019t have enough, and if I give this away,\u201d whatever \u201cthis\u201d is, \u201cI will have less.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So it\u2019s really fear that keeps us from fully embracing what Paul\u2019s trying to teach here. It\u2019s because most of us are only thinking about our money connected to generosity, and we haven\u2019t answered the question, \u201cHow much is enough?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>19:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, you stop and think about this ministry. This ministry would not exist if it weren\u2019t for a lot of people who have been amazingly generous, and many of them generous as volunteers. It goes beyond those who support us financially to those who have caught the vision of what FamilyLife is all about and said, \u201cThat\u2019s worth me investing some of my life in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>If I might just be able to say thank you. Thank you for standing with us. These are challenging days to be leading a ministry to marriage and family in this country.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> These people that you\u2019re thanking right now, it began with your heart\u2019s desire, as I point at both of you. A heart\u2019s desire can\u2019t be delegated, but other people can catch it. That\u2019s really what the people that you\u2019re talking about have done, is that they caught this heart\u2019s desire that you have, and turns out that they have the same heart\u2019s desire.<\/p>\n<p><strong>20:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Until someone connects with that God-given heart\u2019s desire, this notion of being generous is a very transactional thing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We want to talk about how to move it from being transactional to transformational.<\/p>\n<p><strong>John:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and that\u2019s something you do talk about in your book, <em>Connected for Good: A Game Plan for a Generous Life<\/em>. I\u2019d encourage our listeners\u2014this is a subject that as a husband and wife you ought to explore, and just ask the question, \u201cWhat is going to be our GQ as a couple, or as a family\u2014our generosity quotient? Is this something that we want to be aggressive with, or do we want to be just something we can check off a box and say, \u2018We\u2019re doing what we think we ought to be doing\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is a book that will challenge you, and hopefully what we\u2019ve talked about today has been challenging for you as well.<\/p>\n<p>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of John Stanley\u2019s book <em>Connected for Good: A Game Plan for a Generous Life<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>21:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You can order from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to order.<\/p>\n<p>Again, the website FamilyLifeToday.com, and the number is 1-800-358-6329. 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Happy anniversary today to Raymond and Tenecia Williams, who live San Leandro, California. It was 18 years ago today that the Williams became husband and wife, and we just wanted to give them a shout-out today here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>All year long we\u2019ve been celebrating our 40th anniversary as a ministry, and we\u2019ve been doing it by just spending time reflecting on the hundreds of thousands\u2014even the millions\u2014of lives that have been touched through this ministry over the last four decades. In fact, there are couples who this year are celebrating anniversaries who would not have anniversaries to celebrate if it weren\u2019t for FamilyLife.<\/p>\n<p><strong>22:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why we think of ourselves as the proud sponsor of anniversaries.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re grateful for those of you who share our burden to see every home become a godly home, to see moms and dads and husbands and wives ordering their family around what the Bible teaches. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership as legacy partners, or for those of you who give occasionally.<\/p>\n<p>I know there are a lot of folks who consider year-end giving, and if you\u2019re one of those people who has thought about a possible year-end donation to FamilyLife, let me encourage you; if God\u2019s used this ministry in your life this year, it\u2019s a great way to say thank you by making a donation. And there\u2019s an additional incentive right now for you to make a donation. We\u2019ve had some friends who have put together a matching gift fund, and our friend Michelle Hill is here today to give us an update on the matching gift fund and how donations are doing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>23:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>We <em>are<\/em> encouraged by the number of listeners we\u2019re hearing from here in the middle of the month, folks who are going online\u2026or who are calling\u2026or who are mailing in donations to support the ministry as we wrap up 2016.<\/p>\n<p>As you said Bob we\u2019ve got this matching gift fund in place so every time a listener gives a donation this month that donation is going to be effectively tripled. So, if you wanted to give a one hundred dollar donation to FamilyLife at the end of the year, that would release two hundred dollars from the matching gift fund and make the total gift 300 dollars.<\/p>\n<p>Now Bob, so far in December we\u2019ve heard from two thousand and ninety eight listeners, and that\u2019s great! And, they\u2019ve given four hundred fifteen thousand, six hundred seventy five dollars, which is also great. Now, the match goes up to one and quarter million dollars, so we still have a ways to go to take advantage of all of the benefit in that matching gift fund, so we really hope our listeners will make a donation today.<\/p>\n<p><strong>24:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> And it\u2019s easy to do. You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to donate, or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas. Our zip code is 72223.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow we\u2019re going to spend some more time talking about different ways we can be generous. It\u2019s not all about giving money. John Stanley is going to be back with us tomorrow, and I hope you can tune in for our conversation.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>______________________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304290"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304290"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304290"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304290"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}