{"id":304260,"date":"2016-11-21T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-11-21T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/love-comes-full-circle\/"},"modified":"2016-11-21T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-11-21T17:00:00","slug":"love-comes-full-circle","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-comes-full-circle\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Comes Full Circle"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mike and Hayley Jones reflect on their courtship, engagement, and how three years into marriage they were both ready to walk away. Find out what lead them back together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.02M","filesize_raw":"24141721","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2863],"tags":[6131,4822,6135,6132,2877,6134,6133],"podcast_series":[8177],"cwp_profile":[9435],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304260","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-saving-a-marriage","tag-brief-courtship","tag-engagement","tag-god-led-them-back-together","tag-hard-times","tag-marriage","tag-move-on","tag-moved-back-in-with-parents","podcast_series-at-any-cost","cwp_profile-mike-and-hayley-jones","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304260\/love-comes-full-circle","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304260\/love-comes-full-circle","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"9Vcy8e9h4W\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-comes-full-circle\/\">Love Comes Full Circle<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-comes-full-circle\/embed\/#?secret=9Vcy8e9h4W\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Love Comes Full Circle&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"9Vcy8e9h4W\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-21.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-21.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It took less than a year for Mike and Hayley Jones\u2019 marriage to end up in trouble. Hayley remembers she didn\u2019t have any interest in seeing a counselor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I was completely not interested\u2014I was done with him. It\u2019d just been eight months of just what seemed like hell to me\u2014I mean, it was <em>terrible<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It was just all those little things that built up, and we couldn\u2019t communicate. There wasn\u2019t any infidelity or anything like that, but we just thought being married was just being miserable and was not for me. I wanted something better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, November 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Could Mike and Hayley Jones find their way from despair back to marital happiness? We\u2019ll find out today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob, what\u2019s your grocery bill for you and Mary Ann on an average week? Do you have any idea what you spend? When\u2019s the last time you were in a grocery store, Bob? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I do a little shopping myself\u2014I do a little of the shopping; yes. Our average bill on a given week\u2014I\u2019m trying to remember\u2014you know, when you don\u2019t have kids at home, it\u2019s a whole different deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We had a family get-together back last summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We had 17 grandkids and 12 adults get together down in Orange Beach, Alabama.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a big crowd\u201417 grandkids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Seventeen grandkids\u2014they were not all there. Anyway, we went to the grocery store, because we were going to be together for a week. Mimi and Papa said we would take care\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ll buy the groceries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019ll take care of the groceries\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Nice of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor breakfast and lunch for a week.\u201d Each night was designated to a different family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; you got it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, what do you suppose we spent the first trip to the grocery store, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> For a week for breakfast and lunch for 30 people? I\u2019m guessing you spent north of 500 bucks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct. It was over $800\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014three shopping carts. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur guests on the program today\u2014they do almost that every week. Okay, Mike\u2014what is it for you guys every week \/ the grocery bill for your crew?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It\u2019s probably up to around $650 now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> $650 a week. You have some teenage boys\u2014how many teenage boys do you have at your house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> It\u2019s four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They had to take a breath, because they were counting. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> It changes! Four or five\u2014we\u2019re not sure. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it is Mike and Hayley Jones who join us today on the broadcast. They have written a book called <em>At Any Cost: Overcoming Every Obstacle to Bring Our Children Home<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHayley, I had to smile when I read the subtitle of your book; because our daughter, Ashley, has a huge heart, along with her husband Michael, for foster care and for taking care of foster care children\u2014and has actually adopted a couple of them, in addition to her five boys that are bio boys; okay. But one of the things that drives her absolutely crazy is when people hear about her caring for 25 foster care kids in addition to taking care of her crew and\u2014not at one time, by the way; but, you know, one after another\u2014they go, \u201cOh, I could never do that!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re shaking your head. Those words are not in your vocabulary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>No; not anymore. That is for sure. You never know what God has planned for you; but when He calls you out for something, no matter how crazy it sounds, He\u2019s going to give you everything you need to do it, one day at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always say: \u201cFor us, it\u2019s kind of like manna from heaven. We have what we need for that day; and the next, God will give us more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So Mike, explain to our listeners what it is that He called you guys out to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; I want to ask Mike, \u201cDo you drill oil wells for a living?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019d be a pauper today if he did\u2014[Laughter]\u2014that doesn\u2019t make him any money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s true! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>It\u2019s been\u2014God\u2019s just been so gracious to us\u2014I mean, whether somebody hands us a random gift card in a grocery store and says, \u201cI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m supposed to do this\u2026\u201d or whether it\u2019s a little ladies\u2019 prayer group from my granddad\u2019s church that gives us $50 every month. It\u2019s just a lot of time\u2014money\u2019s going out faster than it\u2019s coming in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> A lot of times\u2014<em>all<\/em> the time. [Laughter] He didn\u2019t say that part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are the proud parents of 11 children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike and Hayley:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you never expected, when you stood at the altar and said, \u201cI do,\u201d \/ \u201cI do too,\u201d that you\u2019d be the proud parents of 11 kids; did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I said I\u2019d never have a large family\u2014never say, \u201cNever.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let\u2019s go back to before the grocery bills started to increase \/ before God brought you to a place where you expanded your borders and your bedrooms at your home. Let\u2019s go back to the early years of your marriage. Am I right?\u2014you were still in high school when you got married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I had graduated high school, but I was 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When did you meet Mike and fall, head over heels, for him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Eight months before we married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; and how did that happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I don\u2019t really know. [Laughter] He was at our church \/ he went to our church. He knew my sister, and he would come sit with our family every Sunday. His parents were going to another church, and he and his brother would come sit with us at church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy sister would always talk to him. I found out that he had horses. I love to ride horses; so he invited me over, and we rode horses\u2014and just were kind of friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis parents were very gracious to me \/ his mom was really good to me. It was my birthday shortly after we kind of started\u2014I guess we probably weren\u2019t even dating at that time\u2014we may have been. She bought me a devotional. It was just something that I really just kind of dove into and really just took hold of. I feel like that was just\u2014she was very important to me in that time of my life, because she really got me in the Scripture and in God\u2019s Word. Through that, it was just kind of that knowing of: \u201cThis is the one\u2014this is the one for me. This is it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just have to do something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never done this\u2014Bob can attest I\u2019ve never done this in 24 years of broadcasting on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Oh no; I\u2019m nervous. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m a little nervous too!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to put my Bible right here. Put your right hand on my Bible, Mike, and answer this question: \u201cWere your motives pure, in church, when you would slip over to the family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>Actually, I wasn\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your hand needs to be back on my Bible. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You took it straight off the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Actually, I wasn\u2019t even interested in Hayley at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wait a second. Was it her sister?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I sat with her sister and her boyfriend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Her sister and her boyfriend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> He thought I was too young. He would have never\u2014that\u2019s what he said\u2014he thought I was too young.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> No; I thought she was too young. I was 20 years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so hang on. Not interested and too young\u2014eight months later\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> And her mom grabbed me in the hall at church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes; you\u2019re going to love this story\u2014you\u2019re going to love this part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014and she said: \u201cMy daughter likes horses. You should invite her over to ride sometime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Matchmaker!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I invited her over, as a friend, to come ride. From there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your hand wasn\u2019t on the Bible when you said that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> From there, you know, we just got to know each other. We\u2019re just kind of friends, and I realized how mature she was for her age. That\u2019s how we developed that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, most 17-year-olds I know would be a little afraid to take the plunge to get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I would not recommend that. I mean, I have an 18-year-old, and he\u2019s not anywhere near ready to get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you anywhere near ready?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> No; looking back on it now, we were very young; and we were immature in that way. But we did what we did\u2014you know, we did get married\u2014and God ordained our marriage\u2014so we are committed. We stuck to it, and we worked through it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But three years into your marriage, you weren\u2019t so sure that God had ordained it; were you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think I thought about that, as far as God ordaining it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell us what happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, before we get there, though, I have to hear how he proposed. I mean, if he had her over to the horse farm\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think there was a ride out in the sunset involved?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014I just think there has to\u2014this guy has to\u2014he played football for the University of Tennessee. He has to have some moves. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did you propose?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Well, the first time we ever went on a date, we went horseback riding. Then, the day I proposed, we went on the same similar ride. Underneath two trees on top of a hill, I said, \u201cLet\u2019s take a break a minute and get off the horses.\u201d I get down on one knee and ask her to marry me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Those two trees are still there on the farm now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you two are still standing, too, \u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014even though there have been some storms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Tell us what created the storms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I think I did. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t big things\u2014it was all the little things, that we didn\u2019t know how to communicate, that we let add up, still being young and thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. There wasn\u2019t any infidelity or anything like that\u2014but just thought, \u201cWhat\u2019s the point of this?\u201d You know, just listening to the world and thinking that \u201cThere has to be something better,\u201d instead of just trying to talk, and actually communicate, and work something out. I was kind of like, \u201cI\u2019m done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So what were you chasing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Nothing. I didn\u2019t have anything, but I just thought being miserable and being married was not for me. I wanted something better\u2014so I was the one that initiated it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys have never been to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways; but when you go, one of the things we talk about, at the beginning of the getaway, is the fact that a marriage naturally moves in the direction of isolation\u2014that if you\u2019re not intentional \/ if you\u2019re not purposeful, the drift is not together \/ it\u2019s apart from one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The thought that, \u201cNow, that I\u2019m married, I will have greater happiness than I\u2019ve ever known in my life,\u201d\u2014well, you forgot that you\u2019re a sinner and she\u2019s a sinner. Between that, there\u2019s going to be selfishness \/ there are going to be all kinds of anxieties.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou experienced that normal drift that happens in a marriage. It got you to a place, where you were really looking at each other, going, \u201cAre we going to stick this thing out?\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe most important thing of all we learned, besides our communication, was that we weren\u2019t keeping God at the center. If you envision a triangle, He wasn\u2019t at the top and we weren\u2019t both looking to Him first. That\u2019s the biggest thing we learned\u2014is to have that relationship with God and pray together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How bad did it get?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Well, at first, she was living upstairs. I was just waiting on her\u2014I had given her some divorce papers that I\u2019d gotten off something online, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where did the word, \u201cdivorce,\u201d ever enter into the conversation? Who was the first to throw the word out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s a reason why I\u2019m asking\u2014I want our listeners to hear this: \u201cWhen the d-word is tossed on the table, it becomes a live option. Words have power.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s toxic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is toxic. Just introducing the possibility gives license to that possibility growing into something other than a tree, like we\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It uproots the tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you remember how it hit you when he said, \u201cMaybe we should just get a divorce\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I do\u2014it was kind of just a long process there. I mean, he was miserable\u2014you could tell he was miserable. Everything I said he would be angry about. I was young, and I was very insecure in whom I was\u2014so just belittling things that he would say to me, and then I would shut down. Well, that\u2019s not how he wanted to communicate. I think we kind of take opposite roles here\u2014the traditional male and female roles\u2014<em>he<\/em> wanted to hash things out and talk about them. Well, I just wouldn\u2019t answer back \/ I would totally shut down. Well, then, that would make him more upset.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLiterally, I was still in school \/ he was still in college as well. We would just kind of pass each other, coming and going. I had night classes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; I told her to get out. She went upstairs and was living in the upstairs part of our old farmhouse that we lived in. She stayed up there for months and just refused to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I\u2019m 20 years old \/ I have nowhere to go\u2014I mean, you married me at\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you had months, where you\u2019re living in that kind of a separate existence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Oh yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> No children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Divorce papers that you had downloaded from the internet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes; found on online. Yes; that shows the maturity of us, at this time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You really wanted out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What were you looking for that you weren\u2019t getting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It was just all those little things that built up, and we couldn\u2019t communicate\u2014so it was miserable. Like she said, I would want to try to talk to her; and she wouldn\u2019t want to talk. That was just the way she had conflict with her parents before we ever got married\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, she just wouldn\u2019t speak \/ she always kept things bottled up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Just more internal\u2014I don\u2019t share easily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I just want to point here that this is where a lot of couples start their marriage. They aren\u2019t trained in knowing how to resolve conflict between two broken people. They\u2019re assuming that \u201c\u2026til death do us part,\u201d is going to be automatic and that problems resolve themselves. No; problems take hard work\u2014to work through the misunderstanding, the unmet needs, the disappointments, and the discouragements.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, Bob, this is where a lot of couples find hope; because we give them really some skills\u2014not just in communication\u2014but in knowing how two people, who continue to hurt each other, can get out of that cycle\u2014and can find hope, and forgive each other, and then move and begin to replace the hurt with the hope that allows love to be reborn again in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was the turning point for you guys, and how did you get the help you needed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Well, she was upstairs for four months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Then she went to live with her mom and dad when she finally was willing to accept that I didn\u2019t love her or want her anymore. She lived with her parents for another four months. Then, isn\u2019t it ironic?\u2014that those were eight months that we were separated but still married\u2014and God redeemed it all with eight more children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. At the end of the four months, how did the ice thaw between the two of you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> <em>He<\/em> actually just started talking to my mom a little bit; because at that point, I wouldn\u2019t talk to him. At that point, I said: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m done. You\u2019ve hurt me so much. There\u2019s really nothing left to say.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe started talking to my mom and just kind of checking up on me, and wanting to know how I was doing, and wanting to work things out. I was completely not interested \/ I was done with him. I mean, it\u2019d just been eight months of just what seemed like hell to me. I mean, it was <em>terrible<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you hadn\u2019t filed then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> No; I still hadn\u2019t signed any papers. I wouldn\u2019t sign papers, because that didn\u2019t feel right. Now, at the time, I know it didn\u2019t feel right because it wasn\u2019t what God wanted me to do; but I wasn\u2019t there, at that point in my life. I just know that that didn\u2019t feel right. I was kind of like in this no-man\u2019s land. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad set me down on the couch one day. He had already known that Mike had been talking to mom. He [Mike] just really seemed like he had changed. He was really working on it and wanting to become just a new person. So my dad set me down on the couch; and he said, \u201cHayley, you have to make a choice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou either have to get divorced and moved on, or you have to work through the marriage. You can\u2019t just stay in this no-man\u2019s land. You have to make a choice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKind of in that moment, in just a week or so around that time, I knew what I needed to do\u2014and I knew it was I had to go back and make it work. At the time, I wouldn\u2019t have said, \u201cIt is all God\u201d; but I know that now. Getting a divorce was not an option for me; so I knew I had to go back and make it work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was just the recognizing, in each other, that God had changed our hearts. Going to counseling\u2014it wasn\u2019t like, \u201cOh, I have counseling today,\u201d or \u201cI have to listen to this; and it\u2019s going to make me angry, because I want to say this,\u201d\u2014it was just like we were agreeing with the counselor. The whole mood of it changed. We were learning from it. We started taking the advice and able to communicate. It became an exciting time instead of this dreaded time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> We got involved with another couple that was like a mentor to us\u2014that had had marriage trouble\u2014not the same situation as us but were at the breaking point and healed their marriage. Through that couple, we started another young marrieds\u2019 Bible study class at our church. So just besides showing up to go to \u201cbig church\u201d\u2014we called it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> \u2014and hiding in a pew in the back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>\u2014and hiding in a pew in the back. We started a Sunday school class. It wasn\u2019t just a social, \u201cfeel-good,\u201d come-fill-up-your-couple-hours Sunday school class. It was intentional digging into the Word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> We had accountability.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, what you\u2019ve just described is <em>huge<\/em>\u2014to have other couples, who have said: \u201cYou know what? We\u2019ve been in the ditch, and there\u2019s help.\u201d All of a sudden, it\u2019s like: \u201cOkay; other people have done this, and they\u2019ve gotten out of it. Now, there\u2019s hope.\u201d When hope re-enters the picture, now you have some energy to bring to trying to get the help and the healing that you need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And here\u2019s what I want to get to\u2014if you\u2019ve been listening to this broadcast, you have heard a story here, where love blossomed, love died, and was reborn. We know not all of the rest of the story; but we do know\u2014because you\u2019re coming up here, in a couple of years, on your 20th anniversary\u2014so there is a rest of the story here that\u2019s been worked out that is pretty magnificent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you would have known what was at stake, at that point\u2014because you\u2019re talking to people, right now, listening to this broadcast, who are at that same point you guys were\u2014but they don\u2019t know the rest of the story; but they\u2019re at a point that demands a step of faith\u2014a commitment \/ a surrender to Jesus Christ\u2014like you did, Hayley\u2014what would you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I would say, \u201cNo eye has seen, no ear has heard what God has in store for you, [from 1 Corinthians 2:9].\u201d If you know what you are supposed to do, and what God is calling you to do, and what He\u2019s leading you to do, stick with it; because it will be better, and it will be more beautiful than <em>anything<\/em> that you can imagine. It will be worth it. He will restore those lost years, or months, or whatever it is. Whatever you\u2019ve lost or has been hurting, He will restore that in a way that you could <em>never<\/em> dream or imagine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just spent the weekend at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, up in Philadelphia. Every time I\u2019m at one of these events, I talk to couples, who are on the brink. They have come, much like you guys were\u2014they\u2019ve lost hope \/ they don\u2019t know what to do to get themselves out of the ditch. They\u2019re at the weekend, wondering if there is any reason for hope to still exist.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they find is that the Bible has answers. When they hear them clearly presented, it makes a difference. That was the case, again, this weekend in Philadelphia. I\u2019ll just say for our listeners: \u201cIf you\u2019ve not attended one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways,\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve heard us say this over and over again\u2014\u201cevery couple ought to have one of these weekends as a part of their routine marriage maintenance\u2014something that they do every couple of years \/ maybe it\u2019s every four or five years; whatever\u2014just do something that will help strengthen your marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. You may want to consider a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card as a Christmas present this year. Make plans for a spring getaway and surprise your spouse with a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway gift card\u2014again, more information at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that Mike and Hayley Jones\u2019 story\u2014in fact, the story we haven\u2019t gotten to yet, but we will get to it\u2014the story of your decision to adopt eight siblings from Sierra Leone, Africa\u2014that story is told in a book called <em>At Any Cost: Overcoming Every Obstacle to Bring Our Children Home<\/em>. We have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order a copy of the book, <em>At Any Cost<\/em>, by Mike and Hayley Jones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to wish a \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d today to J.R. and Tara Olson, who live in Whitewood, South Dakota. This is their first anniversary. We think every anniversary is important, from number one to number seventy-one\u2014however many you are able to celebrate over the years\u2014we think every one of them is important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been celebrating our 40th anniversary all year this year. God has been using FamilyLife in the lives of husbands and wives all around the globe for the past four decades. It\u2019s been exciting to see how He\u2019s used this ministry in other people\u2019s lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a resource designed for preschool and early elementary-aged children during the Christmas season. It\u2019s called \u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas\u201d\u2014twelve ornaments that children can hang on a tree that teach them about who Jesus is. It\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation today. You can do that at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Or you can mail your donation to<em> FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to find out more about how God led Mike and Hayley Jones, after He put their marriage back together again, how He led them to adopt\u2014not one, not two, not three, not four, or five, or six, or seven\u2014but <em>eight<\/em> children \/ an eight-children sibling group from Africa. We\u2019ll hear that story tomorrow. I hope you can tune in for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.02M"],"filesize_raw":["24141721"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304260.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304260.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Hayley Jones reflect on their courtship, engagement, and how three years into marriage they were both ready to walk away. Find out what lead them back together.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It took less than a year for Mike and Hayley Jones\u2019 marriage to end up in trouble. Hayley remembers she didn\u2019t have any interest in seeing a counselor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I was completely not interested\u2014I was done with him. It\u2019d just been eight months of just what seemed like hell to me\u2014I mean, it was <em>terrible<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It was just all those little things that built up, and we couldn\u2019t communicate. There wasn\u2019t any infidelity or anything like that, but we just thought being married was just being miserable and was not for me. I wanted something better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, November 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Could Mike and Hayley Jones find their way from despair back to marital happiness? We\u2019ll find out today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob, what\u2019s your grocery bill for you and Mary Ann on an average week? Do you have any idea what you spend? When\u2019s the last time you were in a grocery store, Bob? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I do a little shopping myself\u2014I do a little of the shopping; yes. Our average bill on a given week\u2014I\u2019m trying to remember\u2014you know, when you don\u2019t have kids at home, it\u2019s a whole different deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We had a family get-together back last summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We had 17 grandkids and 12 adults get together down in Orange Beach, Alabama.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a big crowd\u201417 grandkids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Seventeen grandkids\u2014they were not all there. Anyway, we went to the grocery store, because we were going to be together for a week. Mimi and Papa said we would take care\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ll buy the groceries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019ll take care of the groceries\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Nice of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor breakfast and lunch for a week.\u201d Each night was designated to a different family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; you got it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, what do you suppose we spent the first trip to the grocery store, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> For a week for breakfast and lunch for 30 people? I\u2019m guessing you spent north of 500 bucks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s correct. It was over $800\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014three shopping carts. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur guests on the program today\u2014they do almost that every week. Okay, Mike\u2014what is it for you guys every week \/ the grocery bill for your crew?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It\u2019s probably up to around $650 now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> $650 a week. You have some teenage boys\u2014how many teenage boys do you have at your house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> It\u2019s four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They had to take a breath, because they were counting. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> It changes! Four or five\u2014we\u2019re not sure. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it is Mike and Hayley Jones who join us today on the broadcast. They have written a book called <em>At Any Cost: Overcoming Every Obstacle to Bring Our Children Home<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHayley, I had to smile when I read the subtitle of your book; because our daughter, Ashley, has a huge heart, along with her husband Michael, for foster care and for taking care of foster care children\u2014and has actually adopted a couple of them, in addition to her five boys that are bio boys; okay. But one of the things that drives her absolutely crazy is when people hear about her caring for 25 foster care kids in addition to taking care of her crew and\u2014not at one time, by the way; but, you know, one after another\u2014they go, \u201cOh, I could never do that!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re shaking your head. Those words are not in your vocabulary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>No; not anymore. That is for sure. You never know what God has planned for you; but when He calls you out for something, no matter how crazy it sounds, He\u2019s going to give you everything you need to do it, one day at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always say: \u201cFor us, it\u2019s kind of like manna from heaven. We have what we need for that day; and the next, God will give us more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So Mike, explain to our listeners what it is that He called you guys out to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; I want to ask Mike, \u201cDo you drill oil wells for a living?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019d be a pauper today if he did\u2014[Laughter]\u2014that doesn\u2019t make him any money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s true! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>It\u2019s been\u2014God\u2019s just been so gracious to us\u2014I mean, whether somebody hands us a random gift card in a grocery store and says, \u201cI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m supposed to do this\u2026\u201d or whether it\u2019s a little ladies\u2019 prayer group from my granddad\u2019s church that gives us $50 every month. It\u2019s just a lot of time\u2014money\u2019s going out faster than it\u2019s coming in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> A lot of times\u2014<em>all<\/em> the time. [Laughter] He didn\u2019t say that part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are the proud parents of 11 children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike and Hayley:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you never expected, when you stood at the altar and said, \u201cI do,\u201d \/ \u201cI do too,\u201d that you\u2019d be the proud parents of 11 kids; did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I said I\u2019d never have a large family\u2014never say, \u201cNever.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let\u2019s go back to before the grocery bills started to increase \/ before God brought you to a place where you expanded your borders and your bedrooms at your home. Let\u2019s go back to the early years of your marriage. Am I right?\u2014you were still in high school when you got married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I had graduated high school, but I was 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When did you meet Mike and fall, head over heels, for him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Eight months before we married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; and how did that happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I don\u2019t really know. [Laughter] He was at our church \/ he went to our church. He knew my sister, and he would come sit with our family every Sunday. His parents were going to another church, and he and his brother would come sit with us at church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy sister would always talk to him. I found out that he had horses. I love to ride horses; so he invited me over, and we rode horses\u2014and just were kind of friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis parents were very gracious to me \/ his mom was really good to me. It was my birthday shortly after we kind of started\u2014I guess we probably weren\u2019t even dating at that time\u2014we may have been. She bought me a devotional. It was just something that I really just kind of dove into and really just took hold of. I feel like that was just\u2014she was very important to me in that time of my life, because she really got me in the Scripture and in God\u2019s Word. Through that, it was just kind of that knowing of: \u201cThis is the one\u2014this is the one for me. This is it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just have to do something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never done this\u2014Bob can attest I\u2019ve never done this in 24 years of broadcasting on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Oh no; I\u2019m nervous. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m a little nervous too!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to put my Bible right here. Put your right hand on my Bible, Mike, and answer this question: \u201cWere your motives pure, in church, when you would slip over to the family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>Actually, I wasn\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your hand needs to be back on my Bible. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You took it straight off the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Actually, I wasn\u2019t even interested in Hayley at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wait a second. Was it her sister?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I sat with her sister and her boyfriend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Her sister and her boyfriend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> He thought I was too young. He would have never\u2014that\u2019s what he said\u2014he thought I was too young.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> No; I thought she was too young. I was 20 years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so hang on. Not interested and too young\u2014eight months later\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> And her mom grabbed me in the hall at church\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes; you\u2019re going to love this story\u2014you\u2019re going to love this part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014and she said: \u201cMy daughter likes horses. You should invite her over to ride sometime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Matchmaker!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I invited her over, as a friend, to come ride. From there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your hand wasn\u2019t on the Bible when you said that. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> From there, you know, we just got to know each other. We\u2019re just kind of friends, and I realized how mature she was for her age. That\u2019s how we developed that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, most 17-year-olds I know would be a little afraid to take the plunge to get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I would not recommend that. I mean, I have an 18-year-old, and he\u2019s not anywhere near ready to get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you anywhere near ready?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> No; looking back on it now, we were very young; and we were immature in that way. But we did what we did\u2014you know, we did get married\u2014and God ordained our marriage\u2014so we are committed. We stuck to it, and we worked through it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But three years into your marriage, you weren\u2019t so sure that God had ordained it; were you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think I thought about that, as far as God ordaining it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell us what happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, before we get there, though, I have to hear how he proposed. I mean, if he had her over to the horse farm\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think there was a ride out in the sunset involved?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014I just think there has to\u2014this guy has to\u2014he played football for the University of Tennessee. He has to have some moves. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did you propose?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Well, the first time we ever went on a date, we went horseback riding. Then, the day I proposed, we went on the same similar ride. Underneath two trees on top of a hill, I said, \u201cLet\u2019s take a break a minute and get off the horses.\u201d I get down on one knee and ask her to marry me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Those two trees are still there on the farm now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you two are still standing, too, \u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014even though there have been some storms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Tell us what created the storms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I think I did. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t big things\u2014it was all the little things, that we didn\u2019t know how to communicate, that we let add up, still being young and thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. There wasn\u2019t any infidelity or anything like that\u2014but just thought, \u201cWhat\u2019s the point of this?\u201d You know, just listening to the world and thinking that \u201cThere has to be something better,\u201d instead of just trying to talk, and actually communicate, and work something out. I was kind of like, \u201cI\u2019m done.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So what were you chasing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Nothing. I didn\u2019t have anything, but I just thought being miserable and being married was not for me. I wanted something better\u2014so I was the one that initiated it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys have never been to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways; but when you go, one of the things we talk about, at the beginning of the getaway, is the fact that a marriage naturally moves in the direction of isolation\u2014that if you\u2019re not intentional \/ if you\u2019re not purposeful, the drift is not together \/ it\u2019s apart from one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The thought that, \u201cNow, that I\u2019m married, I will have greater happiness than I\u2019ve ever known in my life,\u201d\u2014well, you forgot that you\u2019re a sinner and she\u2019s a sinner. Between that, there\u2019s going to be selfishness \/ there are going to be all kinds of anxieties.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou experienced that normal drift that happens in a marriage. It got you to a place, where you were really looking at each other, going, \u201cAre we going to stick this thing out?\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe most important thing of all we learned, besides our communication, was that we weren\u2019t keeping God at the center. If you envision a triangle, He wasn\u2019t at the top and we weren\u2019t both looking to Him first. That\u2019s the biggest thing we learned\u2014is to have that relationship with God and pray together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How bad did it get?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Well, at first, she was living upstairs. I was just waiting on her\u2014I had given her some divorce papers that I\u2019d gotten off something online, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where did the word, \u201cdivorce,\u201d ever enter into the conversation? Who was the first to throw the word out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There\u2019s a reason why I\u2019m asking\u2014I want our listeners to hear this: \u201cWhen the d-word is tossed on the table, it becomes a live option. Words have power.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s toxic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is toxic. Just introducing the possibility gives license to that possibility growing into something other than a tree, like we\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It uproots the tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you remember how it hit you when he said, \u201cMaybe we should just get a divorce\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I do\u2014it was kind of just a long process there. I mean, he was miserable\u2014you could tell he was miserable. Everything I said he would be angry about. I was young, and I was very insecure in whom I was\u2014so just belittling things that he would say to me, and then I would shut down. Well, that\u2019s not how he wanted to communicate. I think we kind of take opposite roles here\u2014the traditional male and female roles\u2014<em>he<\/em> wanted to hash things out and talk about them. Well, I just wouldn\u2019t answer back \/ I would totally shut down. Well, then, that would make him more upset.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLiterally, I was still in school \/ he was still in college as well. We would just kind of pass each other, coming and going. I had night classes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; I told her to get out. She went upstairs and was living in the upstairs part of our old farmhouse that we lived in. She stayed up there for months and just refused to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I\u2019m 20 years old \/ I have nowhere to go\u2014I mean, you married me at\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you had months, where you\u2019re living in that kind of a separate existence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Oh yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> No children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Divorce papers that you had downloaded from the internet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Yes; found on online. Yes; that shows the maturity of us, at this time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You really wanted out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What were you looking for that you weren\u2019t getting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It was just all those little things that built up, and we couldn\u2019t communicate\u2014so it was miserable. Like she said, I would want to try to talk to her; and she wouldn\u2019t want to talk. That was just the way she had conflict with her parents before we ever got married\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, she just wouldn\u2019t speak \/ she always kept things bottled up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Just more internal\u2014I don\u2019t share easily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; I just want to point here that this is where a lot of couples start their marriage. They aren\u2019t trained in knowing how to resolve conflict between two broken people. They\u2019re assuming that \u201c\u2026til death do us part,\u201d is going to be automatic and that problems resolve themselves. No; problems take hard work\u2014to work through the misunderstanding, the unmet needs, the disappointments, and the discouragements.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, Bob, this is where a lot of couples find hope; because we give them really some skills\u2014not just in communication\u2014but in knowing how two people, who continue to hurt each other, can get out of that cycle\u2014and can find hope, and forgive each other, and then move and begin to replace the hurt with the hope that allows love to be reborn again in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was the turning point for you guys, and how did you get the help you needed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Well, she was upstairs for four months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Then she went to live with her mom and dad when she finally was willing to accept that I didn\u2019t love her or want her anymore. She lived with her parents for another four months. Then, isn\u2019t it ironic?\u2014that those were eight months that we were separated but still married\u2014and God redeemed it all with eight more children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. At the end of the four months, how did the ice thaw between the two of you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> <em>He<\/em> actually just started talking to my mom a little bit; because at that point, I wouldn\u2019t talk to him. At that point, I said: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m done. You\u2019ve hurt me so much. There\u2019s really nothing left to say.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe started talking to my mom and just kind of checking up on me, and wanting to know how I was doing, and wanting to work things out. I was completely not interested \/ I was done with him. I mean, it\u2019d just been eight months of just what seemed like hell to me. I mean, it was <em>terrible<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But you hadn\u2019t filed then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> No; I still hadn\u2019t signed any papers. I wouldn\u2019t sign papers, because that didn\u2019t feel right. Now, at the time, I know it didn\u2019t feel right because it wasn\u2019t what God wanted me to do; but I wasn\u2019t there, at that point in my life. I just know that that didn\u2019t feel right. I was kind of like in this no-man\u2019s land. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad set me down on the couch one day. He had already known that Mike had been talking to mom. He [Mike] just really seemed like he had changed. He was really working on it and wanting to become just a new person. So my dad set me down on the couch; and he said, \u201cHayley, you have to make a choice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou either have to get divorced and moved on, or you have to work through the marriage. You can\u2019t just stay in this no-man\u2019s land. You have to make a choice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKind of in that moment, in just a week or so around that time, I knew what I needed to do\u2014and I knew it was I had to go back and make it work. At the time, I wouldn\u2019t have said, \u201cIt is all God\u201d; but I know that now. Getting a divorce was not an option for me; so I knew I had to go back and make it work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was just the recognizing, in each other, that God had changed our hearts. Going to counseling\u2014it wasn\u2019t like, \u201cOh, I have counseling today,\u201d or \u201cI have to listen to this; and it\u2019s going to make me angry, because I want to say this,\u201d\u2014it was just like we were agreeing with the counselor. The whole mood of it changed. We were learning from it. We started taking the advice and able to communicate. It became an exciting time instead of this dreaded time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> We got involved with another couple that was like a mentor to us\u2014that had had marriage trouble\u2014not the same situation as us but were at the breaking point and healed their marriage. Through that couple, we started another young marrieds\u2019 Bible study class at our church. So just besides showing up to go to \u201cbig church\u201d\u2014we called it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> \u2014and hiding in a pew in the back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>\u2014and hiding in a pew in the back. We started a Sunday school class. It wasn\u2019t just a social, \u201cfeel-good,\u201d come-fill-up-your-couple-hours Sunday school class. It was intentional digging into the Word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> We had accountability.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, what you\u2019ve just described is <em>huge<\/em>\u2014to have other couples, who have said: \u201cYou know what? We\u2019ve been in the ditch, and there\u2019s help.\u201d All of a sudden, it\u2019s like: \u201cOkay; other people have done this, and they\u2019ve gotten out of it. Now, there\u2019s hope.\u201d When hope re-enters the picture, now you have some energy to bring to trying to get the help and the healing that you need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And here\u2019s what I want to get to\u2014if you\u2019ve been listening to this broadcast, you have heard a story here, where love blossomed, love died, and was reborn. We know not all of the rest of the story; but we do know\u2014because you\u2019re coming up here, in a couple of years, on your 20th anniversary\u2014so there is a rest of the story here that\u2019s been worked out that is pretty magnificent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you would have known what was at stake, at that point\u2014because you\u2019re talking to people, right now, listening to this broadcast, who are at that same point you guys were\u2014but they don\u2019t know the rest of the story; but they\u2019re at a point that demands a step of faith\u2014a commitment \/ a surrender to Jesus Christ\u2014like you did, Hayley\u2014what would you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> I would say, \u201cNo eye has seen, no ear has heard what God has in store for you, [from 1 Corinthians 2:9].\u201d If you know what you are supposed to do, and what God is calling you to do, and what He\u2019s leading you to do, stick with it; because it will be better, and it will be more beautiful than <em>anything<\/em> that you can imagine. It will be worth it. He will restore those lost years, or months, or whatever it is. Whatever you\u2019ve lost or has been hurting, He will restore that in a way that you could <em>never<\/em> dream or imagine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just spent the weekend at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, up in Philadelphia. Every time I\u2019m at one of these events, I talk to couples, who are on the brink. They have come, much like you guys were\u2014they\u2019ve lost hope \/ they don\u2019t know what to do to get themselves out of the ditch. They\u2019re at the weekend, wondering if there is any reason for hope to still exist.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they find is that the Bible has answers. When they hear them clearly presented, it makes a difference. That was the case, again, this weekend in Philadelphia. I\u2019ll just say for our listeners: \u201cIf you\u2019ve not attended one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways,\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve heard us say this over and over again\u2014\u201cevery couple ought to have one of these weekends as a part of their routine marriage maintenance\u2014something that they do every couple of years \/ maybe it\u2019s every four or five years; whatever\u2014just do something that will help strengthen your marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. You may want to consider a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card as a Christmas present this year. Make plans for a spring getaway and surprise your spouse with a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway gift card\u2014again, more information at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that Mike and Hayley Jones\u2019 story\u2014in fact, the story we haven\u2019t gotten to yet, but we will get to it\u2014the story of your decision to adopt eight siblings from Sierra Leone, Africa\u2014that story is told in a book called <em>At Any Cost: Overcoming Every Obstacle to Bring Our Children Home<\/em>. We have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order a copy of the book, <em>At Any Cost<\/em>, by Mike and Hayley Jones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to wish a \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d today to J.R. and Tara Olson, who live in Whitewood, South Dakota. This is their first anniversary. We think every anniversary is important, from number one to number seventy-one\u2014however many you are able to celebrate over the years\u2014we think every one of them is important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been celebrating our 40th anniversary all year this year. God has been using FamilyLife in the lives of husbands and wives all around the globe for the past four decades. It\u2019s been exciting to see how He\u2019s used this ministry in other people\u2019s lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a resource designed for preschool and early elementary-aged children during the Christmas season. It\u2019s called \u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas\u201d\u2014twelve ornaments that children can hang on a tree that teach them about who Jesus is. It\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation today. You can do that at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Or you can mail your donation to<em> FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to find out more about how God led Mike and Hayley Jones, after He put their marriage back together again, how He led them to adopt\u2014not one, not two, not three, not four, or five, or six, or seven\u2014but <em>eight<\/em> children \/ an eight-children sibling group from Africa. We\u2019ll hear that story tomorrow. I hope you can tune in for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304260"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304260"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304260"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304260"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}