{"id":304246,"date":"2016-11-10T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-11-10T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-importance-of-communication\/"},"modified":"2016-11-10T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-11-10T17:00:00","slug":"the-importance-of-communication","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-importance-of-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Communication"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Join us as we celebrate the first anniversary of Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth. The Wolgemuths take a realistic look at their courtship and their first year together as husband and wife.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.55M","filesize_raw":"25745078","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2810,2808],"tags":[6113,6114,4034,6112],"podcast_series":[8174],"cwp_profile":[3196,3178],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304246","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-spiritually","category-newlyweds","tag-adjusting-to-marriage","tag-first-wedding-anniversary","tag-newlyweds","tag-wedding-anniversary","podcast_series-first-year-marriage-surprises","cwp_profile-nancy-demoss-wolgemuth","cwp_profile-robert-wolgemuth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304246\/the-importance-of-communication","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304246\/the-importance-of-communication","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2tyzjggwbx\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-importance-of-communication\/\">The Importance of Communication<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-importance-of-communication\/embed\/#?secret=2tyzjggwbx\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Importance of Communication&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2tyzjggwbx\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Every newlywed couple in their first year of marriage\u2014even if it\u2019s a mature godly newlywed couple, like Robert Wolgemuth and his bride, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth\u2014every couple is going to experience moments when we displease one another or when we hurt one another. Here is Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: In those moments, you have to go back to what you <em>know<\/em> is true. You counsel your heart according to <em>truth<\/em>. You don\u2019t let the deception, and the lies, and the bombardment of your emotions when you're tired, and the enemy\u2014you say, \"I'm not going to believe that.\" You go back to your vows \/ you go back to your covenant. You go back to the covenant-keeping love of God. You go back to reminding yourself to what it was that endeared yourself to this person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, November 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We're going to hear from Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth today about what Year One of their marriage has been like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. Do you remember your first year of marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Oh, yes\u2014rookie \/ rookie season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you\u2019re pitching record was not very good at the end of that first year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: I'm glad for this\u2014that you don't have to repeat your first year. [Laughter] Now, some go ahead and do finish their rookie season and then decide to have ten more rookie seasons. That's not a good idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: It\u2019s not. But we have a couple with us who are completing their rookie season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014about to celebrate. As The Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: \u2014we are celebrating the first anniversary of Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth. How'd I do on that last name?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Huh? Congratulations!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: It took me a little well to get it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Congratulations on your first year. I'm going to cut through to the chase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: On a one-to-ten point scale, ten being just \u201cOut of the park home run.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No speed bumps anywhere\u2014just smooth sailing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Yes; yes\u2014and it\u2019s almost like flawless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She already laughed\u2014so we know it's not ten. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: And one being \u201cI don't want to repeat that ever again,\u201d\u2014you got your number, Robert?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: I got it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Nancy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: It\u2019s hard for a woman to pick one number, because this\u2014it can change from day to day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: That\u2019s bad news, Robert!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: I'm going with ten. I'll tell you\u2014this will make a very short broadcast here, but I'm going with the ten\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: No speed bumps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: \u2014because I know what my expectations were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: This has been an <em>amazing<\/em> year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: It has.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: And Nancy\u2014yours?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: That's okay; Honey\u2014no pressure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: When you say no speed bumps\u2014of course, you have speed bumps\u2014but I was going to say, \u201cEight.\u201d It is incredible and amazing; but you have to say there were some speed bumps, Honey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Little ones. I didn't slow down\u2014I just went right over them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: That's true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: It's like driving a rental car\u2014right over them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We need to make sure our listeners understand the dynamic here, because not everybody does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys got married a year ago. Nancy, you were 57 years old; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Never married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Never kissed a guy; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Robert, you were 67.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: I'm almost ten years older than Nancy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had been married for how many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Forty-four-and-one-half.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your wife had passed away \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Correct\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And so for the two of you, at this stage of life\u2014never been married \/ been married for 44 years\u2014those are pretty good numbers, because there are some unusual dynamics in your situation that could have led to a lot more strife and conflict than it appears you've experienced.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Well, because we've talked about it\u2014it sounds like a really elementary basic thing\u2014but we talk a lot \/ we take time to talk. Now, we don't have the little children running around; so we have focused attention on each other. But after a meal, we'll sit\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I'll turn my chair \/ pull next to her, and Nancy and I will talk for an hour. During our dating months, we talked a lot. There was lot to learn about each other\u2014we'd lived full lives, really not knowing each other at all. It\u2019s an amazing thing how speaking about something releases the pressure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe that marriages and relationships that fail\u2014fail because of things that are not said \/ not things that are said. So you keep talking about it, and you keep talking, and you look into each other\u2019s face. I think hearing-impaired people have taught us about listening\u2014you listen with your eyes, not with your ears. We're watching each other while we're talking, and we love each other in that; right? I am an optimist, but I'm not an idealist; and so I knew that there were going to be challenges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNancy had never had a man living in her house; right? I knew that she would have a certain way of doing everything, and I had a certain way of doing everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were going to have to blend this with each other. She had friends and very close ministry friends. Even though Nancy doesn't have biological children, I guarantee you that she's got children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014who are watching carefully who this guy was and what he was going to do. I have biological children, and they love Nancy. They told Nancy, early on: \u201cWe love Bobbie \/ we miss Bobbie. And we love you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bobbie was your first wife\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: That\u2019s right. Here's another thing\u2014and I don't know, Bob and Dennis, if your listeners are going to understand this\u2014but I married a grownup, which means you take everything in stride \/ you don't get frantic about stuff, you listen carefully, you problem solve. This is a very bright woman, who walks with Christ. And so how many times, Honey, in the last year have we said, \u201cDear Lord, we need Your presence right now\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: \u201cWe're sort of up against it and not quite sure what to do now,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and not just in a relation to each other\u2014but things that are happening to friends, or in the ministry, or in my business, or whatever: \u201cLord, we need Your presence right now. Would you just give us wisdom? We don't know what to do. We're not smart enough for this,\u201d\u2014a thousand times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: So, if newlywed couples are listening right now, I would say: \u201cDo that first. Invite the presence of the Holy Spirit. He's there, but invite Him and be aware of His presence when you\u2019re talking to each other. Keep your voices gentle. Be kind one to another\u2014Ephesians 4:32.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a basic thing; right? But just take a deep breath, look into each other\u2019s eyes, say: \"I don't understand what you just said,\u201d or \u201cI don't agree with what you just said,\u201d or \u201cI don't like what you just said,\u201d\u2014but you talk about it, and you talk about it like friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The four of us had dinner together\u2014in April, I think it was\u2014while you were two months into your courtship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember the conversation that we had. One of the things we talked about was this blending that was going to have to happen after years of you living, Robert, with another person \/ Nancy, you living, making your own calls. Nancy, I remember you saying, \"I just have to believe, if two people are mature and submitted to Christ, they'll figure out how to make this work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, when you're engaged, you say that kind of stuff and you think, \"Sure, that's how it should be.\u201d Then you get married, and its gets to be real life. Has that been how it\u2019s been?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Well, I had the advantage, over the years, of ministering to a lot of women in a lot of difficult and struggling marriages and seeing the kinds of things that undermined and made their relationships difficult. Marriage is a relationship. It's a different kind of relationship than any other kind; but if you learn how to walk humbly, and kindly, and consider other people before yourself, when you are a single person, then you\u2019re going to have a better chance of doing that when you get married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe talking thing\u2014I give Robert credit for that. That was not my MO [method of operation]. I would have tended to maybe stuff things a little bit more, but Robert wouldn't let us do that. He'd say, \"We need to talk about this,\"\u2014and he'd be gentle \/ he'd be kind\u2014but he'd say: \"We're not going anywhere. We're going to talk about this<strong>.\" <\/strong>And then he would be quick to lead us to the throne and just say: \"Lord, we need You. Help us.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI gave Robert, on our wedding night\u2014and we used them on our wedding night\u2014two kneeling pads, both of which say, \"Pray without ceasing.\" We started our wedding on our knees\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: \u2014seeking the Lord. We've almost every morning \/ every night\u2014first thing in the morning \/ last thing at night\u2014it\u2019s not long, it's not heavy-handed, it\u2019s not real time- consuming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but Robert leads us and he says, \"Lord, we need You.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We're talking about something that is an underlying assumption here that I just want to underscore, and I want you both to comment on. Robert, you said, she's a grownup. You implied by that, which I think is mostly accurate, that you are one too\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but you are. You know, you both walked with Christ for a long time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Matthew 7, Jesus uses an illustration of two different kinds of homes: The builder, who built his house on sand \/ who heard what Christ said and didn't do it: \u201cWhen\u201d\u2014not if\u2014\u201cwhen the floods, and the rain, and the wind blew and beat on that house, it fell; and great was its fall.\u201d The other man built his house on the rock\u2014he heard the words of Christ, and did them\u2014and still had storms \/ still had circumstances that were difficult\u2014but the house <em>stood<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, both of you have been walking with Christ for a number of years. Our listeners are peering into something that, frankly, could be terribly confusing to them, going: \u201cHow do they do that?\u2014because I don't have that maturity in Christ to instantly think about praying about something. No; I've got a short fuse. You know, we react to each other.\u201d Just comment on the importance of beginning that daily walk with Jesus Christ and obeying Him throughout the entire day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Well, every life change begins with a decision. So I'm going to go to the grocery store, and I\u2019m going to go a certain way. I\u2019m going to go down this street instead of this street. Everything you and I do begins with a decision. This is Romans 12\u2014it's the renewing of our minds. Our emotions follow those decisions. So that is what you do\u2014you say, \u201cThis is what I'm going to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have the joy\u2014this is not bragging\u2014this is just the truth\u2014I have the joy, of every morning, of going to the throne\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: \u2014long before his wife is awake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: But I do that; because I know my own sinfulness, and I know that if I don't start my day like that\u2014<em>completely<\/em> centered on Christ, listening to His voice through His Word, praying on my knees\u2014I\u2019m going to be in trouble for that day. Would I rather stay in bed? Absolutely!\u00a0 Did I get to bed early?\u2014maybe not. But it\u2019s non-negotiable, and it\u2019s interesting that kind of thing is its own reward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like the joy of giving. When you give, the Scripture makes it clear, it is better to give than to receive. So you do it again, because there was such joy in doing that. A decision that I made was: \u201cThe day isn't going to get going without that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great joys of this\u2014I never met Art DeMoss. Of course, he died the weekend of Nancy's 21st birthday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew about him just because my daddy was in ministry and also because I worked with Mark DeMoss, Nancy's brother, in <em>The Little Red Book of Wisdom<\/em>. He honors his daddy in that. I got to marry the oldest daughter of this <em>amazing<\/em> man, and that\u2019s the way he started his day. I want to be humble enough to look at examples of other people\u2014the way they live\u2014and say: \u201cYou know what? I'm going to do that. I'm going to make a decision. I'm going to begin doing that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce you establish a habit, it\u2019s almost harder to <em>not<\/em> do it that it is to do it; because you fall into this wonderful daily habit. It is Galatians 5:22\u2014I'm not doing this\u2014this is the fruit of the Spirit manifest thorough my life. I made a decision, even if I didn't feel like it, to follow Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It's not something you start your day with and then, when you leave the house, live another way. You're talking about experiencing God throughout your entire day and thinking about life through His eyes and through the Scriptures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Yes. I don't know that you could do that [live another way]\u2014I mean, I guess you could; but if you are that grounded\u2014and again, please, I am a <em>sinful<\/em> man \/ there isn't anything I couldn\u2019t do or rationalize that I could do\u2014so this is a huge challenge; but I'm saying, if that\u2019s the way you start your day, and you\u2019re very aware of the Lord's presence, then it changes your day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you have a thought\u2014 and you will \/ when you have a word come to your mouth\u2014and it will\u2014you double check yourself. You've got shotgun\u2014He's sitting <em>right<\/em> there. And if you say\u2014you apologize, saying: \u201cLord, I had no business saying that or even thinking that. Would You forgive me?\u201d It\u2019s just\u2014it\u2019s just this wonderful thing \/ this back and forth thing\u2014but for me, you start your day very aware of His presence, listening to His voice, praying on your knees, confessing your sin, racing to the cross\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that is one of our favorite expressions. When we're struggling with something, we say: \u201cLet\u2019s\u2014I\u2019m going to beat you to the cross. I'm going to get there first. Let's go!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Nancy, I'm assuming you start your day\u2014because I've talked to you before\u2014in a similar fashion. Talk about how you carry that with you throughout the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Well, it\u2019s a moment-by-moment thing. It's bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. I'll tell you that, early on, in our marriage, not every moment has been an eight or a ten. There were huge adjustments for me and just blending two lives together; but we knew, when we were struggling with ourselves or with each other, how to get to the grace of God, and realizing that we are two sinful people who can't do this marriage without God's grace. It wasn't very many weeks into our marriage before we had a series of events \/ a catastrophe that I caused in our home that resulted in our\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You literally had a flood; didn't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: We had a flood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Didn't have the rain and the wind that was in Matthew 7.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: We had a flood, and I caused it. Did I say that? We were what?\u2014married three weeks \/ something like that. We ended up having to have the first floor of our house torn up and replaced. For three weeks\u2014we work out of our home\u2014so we were in a little room, knee to knee, with just a small ottoman between us. I'm sleep deprived, seriously, at this point; because it was a <em>huge<\/em> adjustment to me to sleep with someone else in the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: \u2014who sometimes snores\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: I understand that I snore, too; but I don't hear it when I snore\u2014I heard it when he snored. [Laughter] I remember lying there one night, just thinking, \u201cWhat in the world have I done?\u201d and feeling like this precious, amazing, kind, loving man, lying in the bed next to me, was a total stranger and thinking, \u201cHow can I do this?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn't that he had done anything or that there was any <em>huge<\/em> thing between us; but it was just: \u201cThis is really hard. This is a <em>huge<\/em> adjustment,\u201d and thinking, \u201cI don't know\u2014he\u2019s experienced at this; I'm not.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You're not speaking of the flooded floor that you ruined\u2014you\u2019re talking about getting married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Getting married, but all the things, that are life, that happened in the course\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All the pressure; yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: \u2014of the day. So, what do you do when you have these thoughts that \u201cWe have just entered like the crazy zone here\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here's what I want to say to people\u2014this is where Christianity can sometimes become very plastic and a veneer\u2014to act like everything is perfect when it isn't. It\u2014honestly, Nancy, if you hadn't had a moment and a thought like that, at some point, after being single for 57 years, I would question whether you got a real relationship; because real human beings disappoint each other. There are circumstances that, at times\u2014as mature as we are or as immature as we may be\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014get the best of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: And I want to say\u2014cards on the table here\u2014it wasn't just one moment. That was a rocky\u2014not rocky between us \/ we weren't yelling at each other; we were talking about things \/ we were praying\u2014but for me, it was having thoughts of, \u201cI don't know how to do this marriage thing,\u201d and realizing what I knew, going into marriage\u2014that there were going to be <em>huge<\/em> changes in the way I did life\u2014and thinking, \u201cDo I even want to do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And in some ways, probably thinking the old way seems attractive: \u201cI liked it better when I was by myself at some of these times.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: I <em>loved<\/em> being single.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: So, you know, I had not asked God for a husband \/ I had not prayed for marriage. God brought our hearts together\u2014we believed it was His will. But here is what you have to do\u2014in those moments, you have to go back to what you <em>know<\/em> is true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: You counsel your heart according to <em>truth<\/em>. You don\u2019t let the deception, and the lies, and the bombardment of your emotions, when you\u2019re tired and the enemy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you say, \u201cI\u2019m not going to believe that.\u201d You go back to your vows. You go back to your covenant. You go back to the covenant-keeping love of God. You go back to reminding yourself to what it was that endeared you to this person: \u201cWhat were the qualities that you saw that you admired?\u201d You focus on the things that are good, and true, gracious; and you verbalize <em>those<\/em> things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, when you blow it\u2014when you let your, you know, those lies cascade in and that comes across in your spirit to your mate\u2014you humble yourself\u2014you say, \u201cWould you forgive me?\u201d\u00a0 And Robert is\u2014he's quick to do this, and I\u2019m learning to be quick to do it. To say\u2014you know, it\u2019s not that we're perfect partners\u2014we're <em>so<\/em> far from it; but we know how to ask forgiveness from Christ\u2014how to get His grace to be infused into this marriage. That's what makes it, day after day, really a joy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I just want to say to the person, who just identified with what you just described there\u2014exasperated: \u201cHow do I do this thing called marriage?\u201d\u2014I have to believe that a lot of those prayers or feelings uttered in marriages across the country. It\u2019s why we created the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We created the conference to train you and help you think, biblically, which is the way you two are trying to think in your marriage. I'd say to that person, who feels hopeless, \u201cCome, and sit, and soak\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cunder the teaching of Scripture and hear about how marriage is a reflection of who God is. It's a spiritual union\u2014it's not just body to body\u2014it is body, soul, and spirit. As a result, it needs coaching, it needs training, it needs discipleship from the <em>Bible<\/em>\u2014that's what folks get when they come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u201d I just have to say that because I know that there is someone listening, right now, who is going: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThat's me,\u201d\u2014they're raising their hand\u2014\u201cI don't know how to do this thing!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: And we've gotten good counsel in our lives. In fact, FamilyLife recommended a counselor, who specializes in blended families. We met with this gentleman for two days before we got married. We met with him several months in and spent a few hours and said, \u201cAsk us questions.\u201d He did. He asked us <em>hard<\/em> questions. And then other conversations resulted from that. So, we don't have it made. We <em>need<\/em> wisdom\u2014and that's the posture of humility\u2014to say: \u201cWe can't do this on our own. We need help from godly people and people can speak into our marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have our friend, Dave Wilson, who speaks at our <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>getaways. Robert, you know Dave. One of the things he likes to say is: \u201cIf you want to get your horizontal relationship\u2014your husband\/wife relationship\u2014right, you've got to make sure your vertical relationship\u2014your relationship with God\u2014is right. Oftentimes, if there are problems between husbands and wives, all that is\u2014is a symptom of a problem in the spiritual relationship. Dennis, its back to what you were saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we're trying to help couples recognize the spiritual nature of marriage\u2014see it as a spiritual institution and start to think differently about why you\u2019re married and what the purpose for marriage ought to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm thinking about the video series we put together called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and about our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. One of the <em>key<\/em> things we are trying to communicate in both our live events and in the video series is that: \u201cUntil you understand marriage is a spiritual institution, you're not going to get it right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd just encourage our listeners\u2014if you've never been to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway, you ought to take a weekend\u2014get away\u2014spend it \/ the two of you learning more about God's design for marriage. Or if you have not been through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>\u2014hosted an event in your church or invited couples in and gone through the small group material\u2014go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and find out more about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> and how you can host an event or just invite folks into your home and go through the small group content together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur website is FamilyLifeToday.com. If you have any questions about the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>or about <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>, you can call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd by the way, if you don't know the story of Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth\u2019s courtship and engagement, we've got a link to a video on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can hear them share their story and talk about how they got engaged and ultimately decided to become husband and wife. Again, go to the website, FamilyLifeToday.com\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we're on the subject of anniversaries today, Jemaine and Erika Mendez, who live in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, are celebrating an anniversary today. It's their fifth wedding anniversary. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Mendezes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGlad to have you tuned in, and listening, and a part of all that is happening, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal, in part, is to help more couples celebrate more anniversaries. We are The Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. Here, at FamilyLife, we want to provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families so that we can effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014the kind of marriages and families that change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe're grateful for those of you who join us in this endeavor, those of you who are partners and investors in this ministry. You\u2019re really investing in the lives of so many couples and so many families all around the world. We appreciate you being a part of what God is doing through this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you'd like to make a donation today, we'd love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a resource that we've developed to help you with your preschool or school-aged children learn more about who Jesus is at Christmastime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's a set of 12 ornaments called \u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas.\u201d It is our thank-you gift when you make a donation today, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY; or when you mail you donation to FamilyLifeToday at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we'll hear more from Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth about Year One of their marriage. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. See you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. 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us as we celebrate the first anniversary of Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth. The Wolgemuths take a realistic look at their courtship and their first year together as husband and wife.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-11-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Every newlywed couple in their first year of marriage\u2014even if it\u2019s a mature godly newlywed couple, like Robert Wolgemuth and his bride, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth\u2014every couple is going to experience moments when we displease one another or when we hurt one another. Here is Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: In those moments, you have to go back to what you <em>know<\/em> is true. You counsel your heart according to <em>truth<\/em>. You don\u2019t let the deception, and the lies, and the bombardment of your emotions when you're tired, and the enemy\u2014you say, \"I'm not going to believe that.\" You go back to your vows \/ you go back to your covenant. You go back to the covenant-keeping love of God. You go back to reminding yourself to what it was that endeared yourself to this person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, November 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We're going to hear from Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth today about what Year One of their marriage has been like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. Do you remember your first year of marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Oh, yes\u2014rookie \/ rookie season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So you\u2019re pitching record was not very good at the end of that first year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: I'm glad for this\u2014that you don't have to repeat your first year. [Laughter] Now, some go ahead and do finish their rookie season and then decide to have ten more rookie seasons. That's not a good idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: It\u2019s not. But we have a couple with us who are completing their rookie season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014about to celebrate. As The Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: \u2014we are celebrating the first anniversary of Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth. How'd I do on that last name?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Huh? Congratulations!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: It took me a little well to get it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Congratulations on your first year. I'm going to cut through to the chase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: On a one-to-ten point scale, ten being just \u201cOut of the park home run.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No speed bumps anywhere\u2014just smooth sailing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Yes; yes\u2014and it\u2019s almost like flawless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She already laughed\u2014so we know it's not ten. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: And one being \u201cI don't want to repeat that ever again,\u201d\u2014you got your number, Robert?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: I got it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Nancy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: It\u2019s hard for a woman to pick one number, because this\u2014it can change from day to day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: That\u2019s bad news, Robert!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: I'm going with ten. I'll tell you\u2014this will make a very short broadcast here, but I'm going with the ten\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: No speed bumps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: \u2014because I know what my expectations were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: This has been an <em>amazing<\/em> year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: It has.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: And Nancy\u2014yours?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: That's okay; Honey\u2014no pressure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: When you say no speed bumps\u2014of course, you have speed bumps\u2014but I was going to say, \u201cEight.\u201d It is incredible and amazing; but you have to say there were some speed bumps, Honey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Little ones. I didn't slow down\u2014I just went right over them. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: That's true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: It's like driving a rental car\u2014right over them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We need to make sure our listeners understand the dynamic here, because not everybody does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys got married a year ago. Nancy, you were 57 years old; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Never married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Never kissed a guy; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Robert, you were 67.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: I'm almost ten years older than Nancy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had been married for how many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Forty-four-and-one-half.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your wife had passed away \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Correct\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And so for the two of you, at this stage of life\u2014never been married \/ been married for 44 years\u2014those are pretty good numbers, because there are some unusual dynamics in your situation that could have led to a lot more strife and conflict than it appears you've experienced.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Well, because we've talked about it\u2014it sounds like a really elementary basic thing\u2014but we talk a lot \/ we take time to talk. Now, we don't have the little children running around; so we have focused attention on each other. But after a meal, we'll sit\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I'll turn my chair \/ pull next to her, and Nancy and I will talk for an hour. During our dating months, we talked a lot. There was lot to learn about each other\u2014we'd lived full lives, really not knowing each other at all. It\u2019s an amazing thing how speaking about something releases the pressure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe that marriages and relationships that fail\u2014fail because of things that are not said \/ not things that are said. So you keep talking about it, and you keep talking, and you look into each other\u2019s face. I think hearing-impaired people have taught us about listening\u2014you listen with your eyes, not with your ears. We're watching each other while we're talking, and we love each other in that; right? I am an optimist, but I'm not an idealist; and so I knew that there were going to be challenges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNancy had never had a man living in her house; right? I knew that she would have a certain way of doing everything, and I had a certain way of doing everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were going to have to blend this with each other. She had friends and very close ministry friends. Even though Nancy doesn't have biological children, I guarantee you that she's got children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert:<\/strong> \u2014who are watching carefully who this guy was and what he was going to do. I have biological children, and they love Nancy. They told Nancy, early on: \u201cWe love Bobbie \/ we miss Bobbie. And we love you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Bobbie was your first wife\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: That\u2019s right. Here's another thing\u2014and I don't know, Bob and Dennis, if your listeners are going to understand this\u2014but I married a grownup, which means you take everything in stride \/ you don't get frantic about stuff, you listen carefully, you problem solve. This is a very bright woman, who walks with Christ. And so how many times, Honey, in the last year have we said, \u201cDear Lord, we need Your presence right now\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: \u201cWe're sort of up against it and not quite sure what to do now,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and not just in a relation to each other\u2014but things that are happening to friends, or in the ministry, or in my business, or whatever: \u201cLord, we need Your presence right now. Would you just give us wisdom? We don't know what to do. We're not smart enough for this,\u201d\u2014a thousand times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: So, if newlywed couples are listening right now, I would say: \u201cDo that first. Invite the presence of the Holy Spirit. He's there, but invite Him and be aware of His presence when you\u2019re talking to each other. Keep your voices gentle. Be kind one to another\u2014Ephesians 4:32.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a basic thing; right? But just take a deep breath, look into each other\u2019s eyes, say: \"I don't understand what you just said,\u201d or \u201cI don't agree with what you just said,\u201d or \u201cI don't like what you just said,\u201d\u2014but you talk about it, and you talk about it like friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The four of us had dinner together\u2014in April, I think it was\u2014while you were two months into your courtship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember the conversation that we had. One of the things we talked about was this blending that was going to have to happen after years of you living, Robert, with another person \/ Nancy, you living, making your own calls. Nancy, I remember you saying, \"I just have to believe, if two people are mature and submitted to Christ, they'll figure out how to make this work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, when you're engaged, you say that kind of stuff and you think, \"Sure, that's how it should be.\u201d Then you get married, and its gets to be real life. Has that been how it\u2019s been?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Well, I had the advantage, over the years, of ministering to a lot of women in a lot of difficult and struggling marriages and seeing the kinds of things that undermined and made their relationships difficult. Marriage is a relationship. It's a different kind of relationship than any other kind; but if you learn how to walk humbly, and kindly, and consider other people before yourself, when you are a single person, then you\u2019re going to have a better chance of doing that when you get married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe talking thing\u2014I give Robert credit for that. That was not my MO [method of operation]. I would have tended to maybe stuff things a little bit more, but Robert wouldn't let us do that. He'd say, \"We need to talk about this,\"\u2014and he'd be gentle \/ he'd be kind\u2014but he'd say: \"We're not going anywhere. We're going to talk about this<strong>.\" <\/strong>And then he would be quick to lead us to the throne and just say: \"Lord, we need You. Help us.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI gave Robert, on our wedding night\u2014and we used them on our wedding night\u2014two kneeling pads, both of which say, \"Pray without ceasing.\" We started our wedding on our knees\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: \u2014seeking the Lord. We've almost every morning \/ every night\u2014first thing in the morning \/ last thing at night\u2014it\u2019s not long, it's not heavy-handed, it\u2019s not real time- consuming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but Robert leads us and he says, \"Lord, we need You.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We're talking about something that is an underlying assumption here that I just want to underscore, and I want you both to comment on. Robert, you said, she's a grownup. You implied by that, which I think is mostly accurate, that you are one too\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but you are. You know, you both walked with Christ for a long time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Matthew 7, Jesus uses an illustration of two different kinds of homes: The builder, who built his house on sand \/ who heard what Christ said and didn't do it: \u201cWhen\u201d\u2014not if\u2014\u201cwhen the floods, and the rain, and the wind blew and beat on that house, it fell; and great was its fall.\u201d The other man built his house on the rock\u2014he heard the words of Christ, and did them\u2014and still had storms \/ still had circumstances that were difficult\u2014but the house <em>stood<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, both of you have been walking with Christ for a number of years. Our listeners are peering into something that, frankly, could be terribly confusing to them, going: \u201cHow do they do that?\u2014because I don't have that maturity in Christ to instantly think about praying about something. No; I've got a short fuse. You know, we react to each other.\u201d Just comment on the importance of beginning that daily walk with Jesus Christ and obeying Him throughout the entire day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Well, every life change begins with a decision. So I'm going to go to the grocery store, and I\u2019m going to go a certain way. I\u2019m going to go down this street instead of this street. Everything you and I do begins with a decision. This is Romans 12\u2014it's the renewing of our minds. Our emotions follow those decisions. So that is what you do\u2014you say, \u201cThis is what I'm going to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have the joy\u2014this is not bragging\u2014this is just the truth\u2014I have the joy, of every morning, of going to the throne\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: \u2014long before his wife is awake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: But I do that; because I know my own sinfulness, and I know that if I don't start my day like that\u2014<em>completely<\/em> centered on Christ, listening to His voice through His Word, praying on my knees\u2014I\u2019m going to be in trouble for that day. Would I rather stay in bed? Absolutely!\u00a0 Did I get to bed early?\u2014maybe not. But it\u2019s non-negotiable, and it\u2019s interesting that kind of thing is its own reward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like the joy of giving. When you give, the Scripture makes it clear, it is better to give than to receive. So you do it again, because there was such joy in doing that. A decision that I made was: \u201cThe day isn't going to get going without that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great joys of this\u2014I never met Art DeMoss. Of course, he died the weekend of Nancy's 21st birthday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew about him just because my daddy was in ministry and also because I worked with Mark DeMoss, Nancy's brother, in <em>The Little Red Book of Wisdom<\/em>. He honors his daddy in that. I got to marry the oldest daughter of this <em>amazing<\/em> man, and that\u2019s the way he started his day. I want to be humble enough to look at examples of other people\u2014the way they live\u2014and say: \u201cYou know what? I'm going to do that. I'm going to make a decision. I'm going to begin doing that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce you establish a habit, it\u2019s almost harder to <em>not<\/em> do it that it is to do it; because you fall into this wonderful daily habit. It is Galatians 5:22\u2014I'm not doing this\u2014this is the fruit of the Spirit manifest thorough my life. I made a decision, even if I didn't feel like it, to follow Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It's not something you start your day with and then, when you leave the house, live another way. You're talking about experiencing God throughout your entire day and thinking about life through His eyes and through the Scriptures. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: Yes. I don't know that you could do that [live another way]\u2014I mean, I guess you could; but if you are that grounded\u2014and again, please, I am a <em>sinful<\/em> man \/ there isn't anything I couldn\u2019t do or rationalize that I could do\u2014so this is a huge challenge; but I'm saying, if that\u2019s the way you start your day, and you\u2019re very aware of the Lord's presence, then it changes your day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you have a thought\u2014 and you will \/ when you have a word come to your mouth\u2014and it will\u2014you double check yourself. You've got shotgun\u2014He's sitting <em>right<\/em> there. And if you say\u2014you apologize, saying: \u201cLord, I had no business saying that or even thinking that. Would You forgive me?\u201d It\u2019s just\u2014it\u2019s just this wonderful thing \/ this back and forth thing\u2014but for me, you start your day very aware of His presence, listening to His voice, praying on your knees, confessing your sin, racing to the cross\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that is one of our favorite expressions. When we're struggling with something, we say: \u201cLet\u2019s\u2014I\u2019m going to beat you to the cross. I'm going to get there first. Let's go!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Nancy, I'm assuming you start your day\u2014because I've talked to you before\u2014in a similar fashion. Talk about how you carry that with you throughout the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Well, it\u2019s a moment-by-moment thing. It's bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. I'll tell you that, early on, in our marriage, not every moment has been an eight or a ten. There were huge adjustments for me and just blending two lives together; but we knew, when we were struggling with ourselves or with each other, how to get to the grace of God, and realizing that we are two sinful people who can't do this marriage without God's grace. It wasn't very many weeks into our marriage before we had a series of events \/ a catastrophe that I caused in our home that resulted in our\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You literally had a flood; didn't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: We had a flood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Didn't have the rain and the wind that was in Matthew 7.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: We had a flood, and I caused it. Did I say that? We were what?\u2014married three weeks \/ something like that. We ended up having to have the first floor of our house torn up and replaced. For three weeks\u2014we work out of our home\u2014so we were in a little room, knee to knee, with just a small ottoman between us. I'm sleep deprived, seriously, at this point; because it was a <em>huge<\/em> adjustment to me to sleep with someone else in the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: \u2014who sometimes snores\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: I understand that I snore, too; but I don't hear it when I snore\u2014I heard it when he snored. [Laughter] I remember lying there one night, just thinking, \u201cWhat in the world have I done?\u201d and feeling like this precious, amazing, kind, loving man, lying in the bed next to me, was a total stranger and thinking, \u201cHow can I do this?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn't that he had done anything or that there was any <em>huge<\/em> thing between us; but it was just: \u201cThis is really hard. This is a <em>huge<\/em> adjustment,\u201d and thinking, \u201cI don't know\u2014he\u2019s experienced at this; I'm not.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You're not speaking of the flooded floor that you ruined\u2014you\u2019re talking about getting married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Getting married, but all the things, that are life, that happened in the course\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All the pressure; yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: \u2014of the day. So, what do you do when you have these thoughts that \u201cWe have just entered like the crazy zone here\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here's what I want to say to people\u2014this is where Christianity can sometimes become very plastic and a veneer\u2014to act like everything is perfect when it isn't. It\u2014honestly, Nancy, if you hadn't had a moment and a thought like that, at some point, after being single for 57 years, I would question whether you got a real relationship; because real human beings disappoint each other. There are circumstances that, at times\u2014as mature as we are or as immature as we may be\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014get the best of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: And I want to say\u2014cards on the table here\u2014it wasn't just one moment. That was a rocky\u2014not rocky between us \/ we weren't yelling at each other; we were talking about things \/ we were praying\u2014but for me, it was having thoughts of, \u201cI don't know how to do this marriage thing,\u201d and realizing what I knew, going into marriage\u2014that there were going to be <em>huge<\/em> changes in the way I did life\u2014and thinking, \u201cDo I even want to do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And in some ways, probably thinking the old way seems attractive: \u201cI liked it better when I was by myself at some of these times.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: I <em>loved<\/em> being single.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: So, you know, I had not asked God for a husband \/ I had not prayed for marriage. God brought our hearts together\u2014we believed it was His will. But here is what you have to do\u2014in those moments, you have to go back to what you <em>know<\/em> is true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert<\/strong>: That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: You counsel your heart according to <em>truth<\/em>. You don\u2019t let the deception, and the lies, and the bombardment of your emotions, when you\u2019re tired and the enemy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you say, \u201cI\u2019m not going to believe that.\u201d You go back to your vows. You go back to your covenant. You go back to the covenant-keeping love of God. You go back to reminding yourself to what it was that endeared you to this person: \u201cWhat were the qualities that you saw that you admired?\u201d You focus on the things that are good, and true, gracious; and you verbalize <em>those<\/em> things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, when you blow it\u2014when you let your, you know, those lies cascade in and that comes across in your spirit to your mate\u2014you humble yourself\u2014you say, \u201cWould you forgive me?\u201d\u00a0 And Robert is\u2014he's quick to do this, and I\u2019m learning to be quick to do it. To say\u2014you know, it\u2019s not that we're perfect partners\u2014we're <em>so<\/em> far from it; but we know how to ask forgiveness from Christ\u2014how to get His grace to be infused into this marriage. That's what makes it, day after day, really a joy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I just want to say to the person, who just identified with what you just described there\u2014exasperated: \u201cHow do I do this thing called marriage?\u201d\u2014I have to believe that a lot of those prayers or feelings uttered in marriages across the country. It\u2019s why we created the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We created the conference to train you and help you think, biblically, which is the way you two are trying to think in your marriage. I'd say to that person, who feels hopeless, \u201cCome, and sit, and soak\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: Yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cunder the teaching of Scripture and hear about how marriage is a reflection of who God is. It's a spiritual union\u2014it's not just body to body\u2014it is body, soul, and spirit. As a result, it needs coaching, it needs training, it needs discipleship from the <em>Bible<\/em>\u2014that's what folks get when they come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u201d I just have to say that because I know that there is someone listening, right now, who is going: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThat's me,\u201d\u2014they're raising their hand\u2014\u201cI don't know how to do this thing!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy<\/strong>: And we've gotten good counsel in our lives. In fact, FamilyLife recommended a counselor, who specializes in blended families. We met with this gentleman for two days before we got married. We met with him several months in and spent a few hours and said, \u201cAsk us questions.\u201d He did. He asked us <em>hard<\/em> questions. And then other conversations resulted from that. So, we don't have it made. We <em>need<\/em> wisdom\u2014and that's the posture of humility\u2014to say: \u201cWe can't do this on our own. We need help from godly people and people can speak into our marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have our friend, Dave Wilson, who speaks at our <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>getaways. Robert, you know Dave. One of the things he likes to say is: \u201cIf you want to get your horizontal relationship\u2014your husband\/wife relationship\u2014right, you've got to make sure your vertical relationship\u2014your relationship with God\u2014is right. Oftentimes, if there are problems between husbands and wives, all that is\u2014is a symptom of a problem in the spiritual relationship. Dennis, its back to what you were saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we're trying to help couples recognize the spiritual nature of marriage\u2014see it as a spiritual institution and start to think differently about why you\u2019re married and what the purpose for marriage ought to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm thinking about the video series we put together called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and about our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. One of the <em>key<\/em> things we are trying to communicate in both our live events and in the video series is that: \u201cUntil you understand marriage is a spiritual institution, you're not going to get it right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd just encourage our listeners\u2014if you've never been to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway, you ought to take a weekend\u2014get away\u2014spend it \/ the two of you learning more about God's design for marriage. Or if you have not been through <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>\u2014hosted an event in your church or invited couples in and gone through the small group material\u2014go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and find out more about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> and how you can host an event or just invite folks into your home and go through the small group content together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur website is FamilyLifeToday.com. If you have any questions about the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>or about <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>, you can call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd by the way, if you don't know the story of Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth\u2019s courtship and engagement, we've got a link to a video on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can hear them share their story and talk about how they got engaged and ultimately decided to become husband and wife. Again, go to the website, FamilyLifeToday.com\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we're on the subject of anniversaries today, Jemaine and Erika Mendez, who live in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, are celebrating an anniversary today. It's their fifth wedding anniversary. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Mendezes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGlad to have you tuned in, and listening, and a part of all that is happening, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal, in part, is to help more couples celebrate more anniversaries. We are The Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. Here, at FamilyLife, we want to provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families so that we can effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014the kind of marriages and families that change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe're grateful for those of you who join us in this endeavor, those of you who are partners and investors in this ministry. You\u2019re really investing in the lives of so many couples and so many families all around the world. We appreciate you being a part of what God is doing through this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you'd like to make a donation today, we'd love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a resource that we've developed to help you with your preschool or school-aged children learn more about who Jesus is at Christmastime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's a set of 12 ornaments called \u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas.\u201d It is our thank-you gift when you make a donation today, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY; or when you mail you donation to FamilyLifeToday at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we'll hear more from Robert and Nancy Wolgemuth about Year One of their marriage. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. See you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304246"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304246"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304246"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304246"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}