{"id":304202,"date":"2016-10-11T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-10-11T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/between-fear-and-faith\/"},"modified":"2016-10-11T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-10-11T15:00:00","slug":"between-fear-and-faith","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/between-fear-and-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"Between Fear and Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trillia Newbell talks about the fine line many Christians walk between fear and faith. Newbell also discusses loss and tragedy and the fear of the unknown.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-10-11.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.52M","filesize_raw":"25713706","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4299,4584,6085],"podcast_series":[8167],"cwp_profile":[3473],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304202","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-faith","tag-fear","tag-perfect-love-casts-out-fear","podcast_series-fear-and-faith","cwp_profile-trillia-newbell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304202\/between-fear-and-faith","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304202\/between-fear-and-faith","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"s3m59gEXkG\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/between-fear-and-faith\/\">Between Fear and Faith<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/between-fear-and-faith\/embed\/#?secret=s3m59gEXkG\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Between Fear and Faith&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"s3m59gEXkG\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-10-11.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-10-11.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In Psalm 46, we read, \u201cGod is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear.\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s Trillia Newbell. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I\u2019m safe because I know God, and God who\u2014He\u2019s also my Father. So, there is a relationship there\u2014so I can trust Him; I can have peace; I can rest in Him because there\u2019s a relationship, and it\u2019s intimate. He sent His Son to die for me. There is safety in God; and so, I can rest there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 11<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you\u2019re battling against fears in your life, maybe, you need to renew your mind about who your Father is. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould you characterize yourself today as someone who battles fears?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Regularly or occasionally?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Enough!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s how I\u2019d answer it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I grew up as a little boy\u2014our home had a basement, and there was seldom a light on in that basement. In that basement is a place that used to hold coal\u2014because the furnace used to burn coal in that house\u2014but in that coal room lived the biggest, baddest, most ominous boogie man that has ever existed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And when I would have to go down to the basement to get something out of the freezer or, maybe, some clothes that had been washed that I needed to bring back upstairs for my mom, I remember I would dash down there\u2014but I was blazing it with lightning speed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Went down quick and came back quick. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I was out of there because that monster was going to get me! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s funny, Bob, I think some of us do have a bit of a predisposition toward fear. I still find myself looking out a window, wondering: \u201cIs somebody out there?\u00a0 Is there something out there?\u201d\u2014and it\u2019s not the boogie man, obviously. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m an adult now; but it is interesting how fear can be a part of our DNA and can be an Achilles\u2019 heel for us, spiritually speaking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and I\u2019m just sitting here, thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever looked out the window and wondered, \u2018What\u2019s that noise?\u2019\u201d\u2014been fearful like that\u2014\u201cbut take me to a ledge and have me look down a long way\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, you\u2019re talking about <em>terror<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s not fear. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I went to Alaska with a friend in the Wrangell Mountains of Alaska. He took me on a walk where there was an edge\u2014there was nothing under it for 2,000 feet. I remember, literally, walking from tree to tree \/ hugging the trees, as I was walking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019d have been right there with you, brother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014as far away from that ledge as I possibly could get. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, if you\u2019re a person that deals with fear on <em>any<\/em> level\u2014whether it\u2019s the terror of being in high places, or the fear of speaking, or the fear of people, or the fear of what people think of you\u2014we\u2019ve got a great book for you called <em>Fear and Faith<\/em> by Trillia Newbell, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014Trillia, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Thank you. Glad to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She\u2019s a wife of Thern for more than 13 years, has two children, and lives in Nashville. And I\u2019ve got a question for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This is one of my favorite questions to ask guests. In fact, it\u2019s probably <em>my<\/em> favorite question because it does involve what you\u2019ve written about here in this book. The question is this: \u201cOut of everything you have done in your life, what is <em>the<\/em> most courageous thing you have ever done?\u201d\u00a0 Now, wait before you answer it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t say, \u201cI\u2019ve never done anything courageous.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Okay. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s not the answer. That is most people\u2019s answer to the question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Because courage is doing your duty in the face of fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, courage is not the absence of fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s doing what has to be done in the face of fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Off the top of my head, there are actually a couple of things that come to mind; but one in particular is I have had the opportunity to speak about hard things\u2014like race and abortion\u2014and particularly to monolithic or homogenous groups. That, to me, has been an area where I\u2019ve been able to share the gospel in places and share the truth of Scripture where it\u2019s not necessarily going to be received well. God has always protected me and given me words\u2014especially, when you share the gospel, you think, \u201cOh, I know this!\u201d\u00a0 Then, you start talking, and you\u2019re like, \u201cI don\u2019t know <em>anything<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really think that\u2019s one thing that God has given me courage to do in faith. I\u2019ve had to walk by faith and not sight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me ask you about this\u2014you got up this morning, knowing that you were coming over here to spend some time with us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014talking on the radio about fear and faith. Was it fearful at all to think, \u201cI\u2019m going over to do a radio interview \/ this national radio interview with Dennis and Bob\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Full disclosure\u2014I know you guys kind of\u2014so\u2014[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, that helped a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>That helped; and you\u2019re very kind and just so welcoming and warm. So, I was not at all afraid, which is really to encourage you guys. I feel safe\u2014a safe place. I\u2019ve been in situations before where I haven\u2019t\u2014I haven\u2019t felt safe because I go into <em>unknown<\/em> places and unknown\u2014you don\u2019t know what someone believes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. Well, and I think you\u2019ve tapped into something. You used the term, \u201cI feel safe.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally that\u2019s\u2014there\u2019s a connection between how safe we feel in any environment and whether we are fearful in that environment; because at some level, the reason we get fearful is because we feel that something is unsafe. When you and I are in high places, we think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cWill this ledge hold, or am I going to be tumbling over the side?\u201d\u00a0 Or when you were afraid of the boogie man, you were thinking: \u201cDown in the dark, I can\u2019t see everything. So, can I be safe with what I can\u2019t see?\u201d\u00a0 Yet, the Bible continues to point us back to the fact that safety is not found in circumstances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s found in a relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I feel safe, not necessarily because I have a relationship even with you guys, but I know you all have a relationship with God. I feel a certain amount of safety when I am doing something that is hard, or dangerous, or scary, not because I\u2019m actually safe\u2014like, in terms of physical safety. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>So, for example, walking on the ledge\u2014I would hate that!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>But I am in the hands of a holy, and loving, and kind God, who has my best. So, I am safe because I know God; and God who\u2014He\u2019s also my Father. So, there is a relationship there\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014so I can trust Him; I can have peace; I can rest in Him; because there\u2019s a relationship, and it\u2019s intimate. He sent His Son to die for me\u2014so there is safety in God. As a matter of fact, we\u2019ve talked about the fear of man. It [Bible] says, \u201cThe fear of man lays a snare but those who trust in the Lord are safe.\u201d\u00a0 There is safety in God\u2014I can rest there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so, I\u2019m going to ask you a tough question\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because there have been some situations in your life when you may have felt safe but the circumstances turned out to be dangerous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You were assaulted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in college. If you are willing, what happened?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I was on a trip, and I was in a room with a bunch of Christians. I felt safe. Another person knocked on the door and asked to join our group. We said, \u201cSure!\u201d because we were a welcoming place as well. It was in a mixed gender room\u2014we were all just hanging out watching movies. It got late, and we all just fell asleep. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn short, I was sexually assaulted. I was not raped, by the grace of God; but when I woke\u2014yes, it was pretty horrifying. The good news is that he confessed, and the Lord did protect me. It didn\u2019t go beyond where it went. Though, it was still <em>awful<\/em> and a complete and total violation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, that kind of violation can cause somebody, for years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014into the future, to continue to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014be fearful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can affect marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Does it still affect you today; do you think?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>No; and it\u2019s kind of a miracle. There are some things that do affect me. I am less likely to be in a situation\u2014so, okay; here\u2019s an example\u2014if I\u2019m getting on an elevator, I\u2019m going to be more cautious about getting on an elevator with a strange man\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014alone than I probably would have been had this not happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I\u2019m a lot more aware when I\u2019m walking alone on the street. I bet I\u2019m a lot more aware than most people. But miraculously, it\u2019s not something that grips me \/ I\u2019m not filled with fear; I just am hyper-aware. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, by the grace of God, it didn\u2019t affect my marriage\u2014which I know\u2014if there is a listener, who has been affected by this \/ who has had someone violate them, that can be a real struggle to trust their husband and to trust that he\u2019s not going to hurt them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just\u2014my heart goes out to them. I\u2019m so thankful for Jesus, who sympathizes with our weakness\u2014who, in every way, was tempted but was without sin. We can go to that throne of grace and receive help in our time of need. That is something that is helpful for me. So, in my fear\u2014in any fear\u2014I am thankful that I can go to Jesus in my time of need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, if you were having a cup of coffee with a woman, who said: \u201cI had a similar experience to what you had in college. As a result, every time my husband and I are together, it comes back. I just get paralyzed, and I just lock up. Trillia, what do I do?\u201d\u00a0 What would you say to her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>There are probably a number of things\u2014I would probably encourage her to talk to her husband about counseling. That would be number one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s not scoot past that, though. That assumes she\u2019s told her husband about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>That\u2019s good\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When did you first tell Thern?\u00a0 Was it when you were dating, or was it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Dating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014when you were married?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Dating. I told him pretty much immediately that I was violated in some way; and then, he walked through it with me. The hardest person to tell was my father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAssuming that she has shared it with her husband, I would encourage that they seek counseling. I think it\u2019s important\u2014if it is hindering their intimacy and hindering their love for one another in that way, it\u2019s probably important for him to know something happened and that\u2019s why [it is being hindered]. But then, I would also remind her that he\u2019s not the enemy\u2014that her husband isn\u2019t the one who did it\u2014he\u2019s not the enemy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, I would pray for her. I\u2019d pray that he would understand and he would be patient. I would also encourage her that God is patient\u2014so He\u2019s going to be patient with her as she works through these struggles and these temptations to fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would <em>highly<\/em> suggest and encourage lots of prayer \/ crying out to God, being really honest, and then, seeking counseling so that she can get some help as they\u2019re dealing with this; because if it\u2019s affecting their\u2014I mean, there is so much that could spiral from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. You have a chapter in your book---and the book is called <em>Fear and Faith<\/em>. We\u2019re talking with Trillia Newbell. You\u2019ve got a chapter on one of the fears, and that is the fear of sexual intimacy in marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Has this been a fearful area for you, or have you just talked to a lot of women who have shared with you about fear in this area?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>It has not; but oh goodness, have women been fearful in this area. It\u2019s something that is intimate\/vulnerable, and you\u2019re giving yourself completely to someone else. Yes, it\u2019s a <em>battle<\/em>. And some of this battle comes in because of pornography\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014and this fear of not measuring up \/ not measuring up to what their husband or themselves have been exposed to\u2014because they\u2019ve been feeding on this false idea of intimacy that\u2019s, not just false, but it\u2019s <em>sick<\/em> and sinful. That is something \/ a topic that\u2019s <em>often<\/em> discussed, because of what people are exposing themselves to more and more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The culture; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There\u2019s another area that you were very honest about in your book that I know you\u2019ve experienced fear in\u2014and that\u2019s in the area of loss and experiencing tragedy\u2014you lost your father \/ you had four miscarriages. Comment on that, if you would\u2014how that impacts a person\u2019s experience of fear and how it can paralyze them for the future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>My husband\u2014when we moved to the Nashville area, one of the first things that happened is that he began to travel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I remember\u2014and this is kind of comical\u2014but the first time he walked out the door\u2014it was probably two minutes \/ he was probably still in the parking lot\u2014I had buried him \/ figured out the eulogy. [Laughter] I was\u2014in my mind\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You were just afraid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014I was so <em>afraid<\/em>!\u00a0 I was afraid of the future \/ afraid of tragedy. In my <em>fear<\/em>, I made up all these scenarios that hadn\u2019t happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>And I think that\u2019s an area\u2014when you\u2019ve experienced tragedy\u2014now, when you haven\u2019t experienced tragedy, you still struggle with those fears; but the truth is, if we live long enough, we\u2019re going to experience tragedy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>For me, that was something that I feared. I know that part of it was because of my experience with death and the tragedies I\u2019d experienced. The good news is\u2014because I\u2019ve experienced it, I also could quickly take captive those thoughts and speak truth to myself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and to know that God has always been faithful, and He\u2019s good, and I don\u2019t have the grace to deal with something that hasn\u2019t happened yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>With the reality of four miscarriages as a part of your story, if you learned today that you were pregnant, would you be fearful?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I would probably be more shocked because my youngest is six. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; so, after you got passed the shock and you go: \u201cOh, we\u2019re going to have a baby. Maybe\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know that I\u2019d be fearful as much. Here\u2019s why\u2014the first two miscarriages were miserable\u2014I was <em>so<\/em> <em>sad<\/em>. When I got pregnant with my son, I was <em>terrified<\/em> \/ I was just so fearful. Then, when we had him, we had peace!\u00a0 We were so grateful; and we just thought: \u201cOkay. It took two years before I could get pregnant again\u201d; and we tried immediately.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just\u2014I wasn\u2019t getting pregnant. So, I put it to rest\u2014I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to be happy with this gift\u201d\u2014but in between my son and my daughter\u2014I also had two miscarriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of those miscarriages\u2014they started testing and just realized that the baby had a chromosomal defect and wouldn\u2019t have been able to sustain life. At that moment, there was this sobering reality that I\u2019m not all-knowing \/ I\u2019m not all-wise. Only God knows what\u2019s best for my children, and I cannot pretend to be God. So, today, if I got pregnant, I <em>think<\/em> I would have rest in my heart. God has taught me so much through these trials. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not that there wouldn\u2019t be grief or sorrow\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, goodness\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014over a miscarriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but the difference between that and the fear that can control you throughout a pregnancy, where you are wondering, \u201cWhat\u2019s going to happen here?\u201d is really a gap between: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDo I trust God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cin this situation to do what is the right thing, whether I understand that or not?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>That is the key. I don\u2019t always understand His ways, but I can trust Him. He\u2019s wise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>And it\u2019s interesting\u2014you know the hymn writer, William Cowper, who wrote <em>God Moves in a Mysterious Way<\/em>. Those words are so rich to me: \u201cGod moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform\u2026\u201d\u00a0 We will look at God\u2019s ways, and we will interpret them wrongly; but He\u2019s His \u201cown interpreter\u201d\u2014is what the hymn says\u2014and that He will break those clouds of fear and dread\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014with blessings on your head. I think that one of the things that has been remarkable\u2014and is to think about: \u201cWould I trade my kids\u2014my son and daughter, who are with me now?\u201d\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I want all six children; right?\u2014but I would never <em>trade<\/em> them. In the mysterious way that God moves, I have these two children; and it is good, and it\u2019s beautiful. They are wonderful, and I wouldn\u2019t trade them. Would I want to experience miscarriages?\u00a0 No!\u00a0 But would I trade them?\u00a0 No! It\u2019s a strange mystery, but God moves in a mysterious way; and I know He\u2019s good. It helps me to know He is good, and He is sovereign and loving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve demonstrated this several times as we\u2019ve talked, and I\u2019ve got to call to mind a quote that is one of Bob\u2019s favorites by Martin Lloyd-Jones. You actually spoke of counseling your own soul. I\u2019m sure Bob\u2019s got this right off the top of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I don\u2019t have it memorized; but Lloyd-Jones said, \u201cWe spend too much time listening to ourselves and not enough time\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cspeaking\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cspeaking to ourselves and telling ourselves \/ reminding ourselves of what\u2019s true.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the antidote here\u2014isn\u2019t it?\u2014to fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Absolutely. We\u2019ve talked about taking captive our thoughts, and we\u2019ve got to replace them. Our minds\u2014if we just sit in our heads long enough, we will be fearful\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; we will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014and we will doubt God. Satan and our own flesh will whisper <em>lies<\/em> about who God is. We\u2019ve got to speak truth to ourselves. I think another\u2014is it Jerry Bridges, maybe, who says, \u201cPreach the gospel to yourself\u201d?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>We need to speak and counsel our own souls, and we need to preach the gospel to ourselves daily. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And there is one other passage of Scripture\u2014that there is a listener somewhere, listening to this broadcast as I quote it, who needs to hear this right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As soon as I read, they are going to recognize it: \u201cThe Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name\u2019s sake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cEven though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever [Psalm 23].\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPerhaps, there is a person, listening right now, who needs to counsel their own soul with these words. He will accomplish what concerns you\u2014He loves you \/ He wants to restore your soul. \u201cWill you return to Him?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I would think it would be helpful for a lot of our listeners to get a copy of Trillia\u2019s book, <em>Fear and Faith<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, get together with other folks\u2014maybe, in your small group or with a group of women in a Bible study \/ a book club. Go through this book together. There is a study guide available online; and if you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ve got the link for that study guide. There\u2019s also a video series available. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy of Trillia\u2019s book, <em>Fear and Faith<\/em>; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a subject we weren\u2019t able to get to on today\u2019s program that\u2019s a part of the book; and if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, you can hear a conversation we had with Trillia about the issue of eating disorders\u2014how fear and faith play into anorexia, and bulimia, and other eating disorders. Again, you\u2019ll find that audio clip online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it has been really fun for us this year to spend time celebrating anniversaries. Back at the beginning of the year, we thought: \u201cThis is our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary. How do we want to celebrate?\u201d We thought, \u201cWe really want to celebrate by looking at the number of anniversaries that have happened over the years because of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of couples and families so that legacies continue today that might not have continued if somebody hadn\u2019t gone to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>marriage getaway, or hadn\u2019t listened to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, or hadn\u2019t found an article online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or hadn\u2019t in some other way connected with this ministry.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd today, we want to say a \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to Bill and Dawn Sundstrom, who live in State College, Pennsylvania. The Sundstroms have been married 30 years today. They have also hosted a small group, using our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> material. Not only have they benefited from the ministry of FamilyLife, but they have shared it with others and been used in their lives to help strengthen their marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what we\u2019re hoping\u2014our mission is to effectively develop godly families so that those godly families can change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we appreciate those of you who partner with us in this endeavor. We\u2019re listener-supported. Without your support, all that we do, here at FamilyLife, would not happen. In a very real way, when you donate to FamilyLife, you\u2019re helping to strengthen the marriages and families of people all around the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by providing you with a new resource that Barbara Rainey has created. It\u2019s an embassy of the King banner that you can hang in your home to remind yourself that our citizenship is not here\u2014it\u2019s in a higher place. That banner is our gift to you when you make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or when you mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, Jen Wilkin is going to join us. She\u2019ll be here to talk about just how great God is, because she believes that many of us don\u2019t have a full understanding of His attributes. We\u2019ll explore that tomorrow. Hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.52M"],"filesize_raw":["25713706"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304202.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304202.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Newbell talks about the fine line many Christians walk between fear and faith. Newbell also discusses loss and tragedy and the fear of the unknown.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-10-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In Psalm 46, we read, \u201cGod is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear.\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s Trillia Newbell. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I\u2019m safe because I know God, and God who\u2014He\u2019s also my Father. So, there is a relationship there\u2014so I can trust Him; I can have peace; I can rest in Him because there\u2019s a relationship, and it\u2019s intimate. He sent His Son to die for me. There is safety in God; and so, I can rest there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 11<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you\u2019re battling against fears in your life, maybe, you need to renew your mind about who your Father is. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould you characterize yourself today as someone who battles fears?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Regularly or occasionally?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Enough!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s how I\u2019d answer it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I grew up as a little boy\u2014our home had a basement, and there was seldom a light on in that basement. In that basement is a place that used to hold coal\u2014because the furnace used to burn coal in that house\u2014but in that coal room lived the biggest, baddest, most ominous boogie man that has ever existed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And when I would have to go down to the basement to get something out of the freezer or, maybe, some clothes that had been washed that I needed to bring back upstairs for my mom, I remember I would dash down there\u2014but I was blazing it with lightning speed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Went down quick and came back quick. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I was out of there because that monster was going to get me! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s funny, Bob, I think some of us do have a bit of a predisposition toward fear. I still find myself looking out a window, wondering: \u201cIs somebody out there?\u00a0 Is there something out there?\u201d\u2014and it\u2019s not the boogie man, obviously. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m an adult now; but it is interesting how fear can be a part of our DNA and can be an Achilles\u2019 heel for us, spiritually speaking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and I\u2019m just sitting here, thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever looked out the window and wondered, \u2018What\u2019s that noise?\u2019\u201d\u2014been fearful like that\u2014\u201cbut take me to a ledge and have me look down a long way\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, you\u2019re talking about <em>terror<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s not fear. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I went to Alaska with a friend in the Wrangell Mountains of Alaska. He took me on a walk where there was an edge\u2014there was nothing under it for 2,000 feet. I remember, literally, walking from tree to tree \/ hugging the trees, as I was walking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019d have been right there with you, brother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014as far away from that ledge as I possibly could get. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, if you\u2019re a person that deals with fear on <em>any<\/em> level\u2014whether it\u2019s the terror of being in high places, or the fear of speaking, or the fear of people, or the fear of what people think of you\u2014we\u2019ve got a great book for you called <em>Fear and Faith<\/em> by Trillia Newbell, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014Trillia, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Thank you. Glad to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She\u2019s a wife of Thern for more than 13 years, has two children, and lives in Nashville. And I\u2019ve got a question for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This is one of my favorite questions to ask guests. In fact, it\u2019s probably <em>my<\/em> favorite question because it does involve what you\u2019ve written about here in this book. The question is this: \u201cOut of everything you have done in your life, what is <em>the<\/em> most courageous thing you have ever done?\u201d\u00a0 Now, wait before you answer it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t say, \u201cI\u2019ve never done anything courageous.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Okay. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s not the answer. That is most people\u2019s answer to the question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Because courage is doing your duty in the face of fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, courage is not the absence of fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s doing what has to be done in the face of fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Off the top of my head, there are actually a couple of things that come to mind; but one in particular is I have had the opportunity to speak about hard things\u2014like race and abortion\u2014and particularly to monolithic or homogenous groups. That, to me, has been an area where I\u2019ve been able to share the gospel in places and share the truth of Scripture where it\u2019s not necessarily going to be received well. God has always protected me and given me words\u2014especially, when you share the gospel, you think, \u201cOh, I know this!\u201d\u00a0 Then, you start talking, and you\u2019re like, \u201cI don\u2019t know <em>anything<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really think that\u2019s one thing that God has given me courage to do in faith. I\u2019ve had to walk by faith and not sight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me ask you about this\u2014you got up this morning, knowing that you were coming over here to spend some time with us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014talking on the radio about fear and faith. Was it fearful at all to think, \u201cI\u2019m going over to do a radio interview \/ this national radio interview with Dennis and Bob\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Full disclosure\u2014I know you guys kind of\u2014so\u2014[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, that helped a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>That helped; and you\u2019re very kind and just so welcoming and warm. So, I was not at all afraid, which is really to encourage you guys. I feel safe\u2014a safe place. I\u2019ve been in situations before where I haven\u2019t\u2014I haven\u2019t felt safe because I go into <em>unknown<\/em> places and unknown\u2014you don\u2019t know what someone believes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. Well, and I think you\u2019ve tapped into something. You used the term, \u201cI feel safe.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally that\u2019s\u2014there\u2019s a connection between how safe we feel in any environment and whether we are fearful in that environment; because at some level, the reason we get fearful is because we feel that something is unsafe. When you and I are in high places, we think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cWill this ledge hold, or am I going to be tumbling over the side?\u201d\u00a0 Or when you were afraid of the boogie man, you were thinking: \u201cDown in the dark, I can\u2019t see everything. So, can I be safe with what I can\u2019t see?\u201d\u00a0 Yet, the Bible continues to point us back to the fact that safety is not found in circumstances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s found in a relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I feel safe, not necessarily because I have a relationship even with you guys, but I know you all have a relationship with God. I feel a certain amount of safety when I am doing something that is hard, or dangerous, or scary, not because I\u2019m actually safe\u2014like, in terms of physical safety. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>So, for example, walking on the ledge\u2014I would hate that!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>But I am in the hands of a holy, and loving, and kind God, who has my best. So, I am safe because I know God; and God who\u2014He\u2019s also my Father. So, there is a relationship there\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014so I can trust Him; I can have peace; I can rest in Him; because there\u2019s a relationship, and it\u2019s intimate. He sent His Son to die for me\u2014so there is safety in God. As a matter of fact, we\u2019ve talked about the fear of man. It [Bible] says, \u201cThe fear of man lays a snare but those who trust in the Lord are safe.\u201d\u00a0 There is safety in God\u2014I can rest there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And so, I\u2019m going to ask you a tough question\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because there have been some situations in your life when you may have felt safe but the circumstances turned out to be dangerous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You were assaulted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in college. If you are willing, what happened?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I was on a trip, and I was in a room with a bunch of Christians. I felt safe. Another person knocked on the door and asked to join our group. We said, \u201cSure!\u201d because we were a welcoming place as well. It was in a mixed gender room\u2014we were all just hanging out watching movies. It got late, and we all just fell asleep. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn short, I was sexually assaulted. I was not raped, by the grace of God; but when I woke\u2014yes, it was pretty horrifying. The good news is that he confessed, and the Lord did protect me. It didn\u2019t go beyond where it went. Though, it was still <em>awful<\/em> and a complete and total violation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, that kind of violation can cause somebody, for years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014into the future, to continue to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014be fearful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt can affect marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Does it still affect you today; do you think?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>No; and it\u2019s kind of a miracle. There are some things that do affect me. I am less likely to be in a situation\u2014so, okay; here\u2019s an example\u2014if I\u2019m getting on an elevator, I\u2019m going to be more cautious about getting on an elevator with a strange man\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014alone than I probably would have been had this not happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I\u2019m a lot more aware when I\u2019m walking alone on the street. I bet I\u2019m a lot more aware than most people. But miraculously, it\u2019s not something that grips me \/ I\u2019m not filled with fear; I just am hyper-aware. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, by the grace of God, it didn\u2019t affect my marriage\u2014which I know\u2014if there is a listener, who has been affected by this \/ who has had someone violate them, that can be a real struggle to trust their husband and to trust that he\u2019s not going to hurt them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just\u2014my heart goes out to them. I\u2019m so thankful for Jesus, who sympathizes with our weakness\u2014who, in every way, was tempted but was without sin. We can go to that throne of grace and receive help in our time of need. That is something that is helpful for me. So, in my fear\u2014in any fear\u2014I am thankful that I can go to Jesus in my time of need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, if you were having a cup of coffee with a woman, who said: \u201cI had a similar experience to what you had in college. As a result, every time my husband and I are together, it comes back. I just get paralyzed, and I just lock up. Trillia, what do I do?\u201d\u00a0 What would you say to her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>There are probably a number of things\u2014I would probably encourage her to talk to her husband about counseling. That would be number one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s not scoot past that, though. That assumes she\u2019s told her husband about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>That\u2019s good\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When did you first tell Thern?\u00a0 Was it when you were dating, or was it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Dating. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014when you were married?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Dating. I told him pretty much immediately that I was violated in some way; and then, he walked through it with me. The hardest person to tell was my father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAssuming that she has shared it with her husband, I would encourage that they seek counseling. I think it\u2019s important\u2014if it is hindering their intimacy and hindering their love for one another in that way, it\u2019s probably important for him to know something happened and that\u2019s why [it is being hindered]. But then, I would also remind her that he\u2019s not the enemy\u2014that her husband isn\u2019t the one who did it\u2014he\u2019s not the enemy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOh, I would pray for her. I\u2019d pray that he would understand and he would be patient. I would also encourage her that God is patient\u2014so He\u2019s going to be patient with her as she works through these struggles and these temptations to fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would <em>highly<\/em> suggest and encourage lots of prayer \/ crying out to God, being really honest, and then, seeking counseling so that she can get some help as they\u2019re dealing with this; because if it\u2019s affecting their\u2014I mean, there is so much that could spiral from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. You have a chapter in your book---and the book is called <em>Fear and Faith<\/em>. We\u2019re talking with Trillia Newbell. You\u2019ve got a chapter on one of the fears, and that is the fear of sexual intimacy in marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Has this been a fearful area for you, or have you just talked to a lot of women who have shared with you about fear in this area?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>It has not; but oh goodness, have women been fearful in this area. It\u2019s something that is intimate\/vulnerable, and you\u2019re giving yourself completely to someone else. Yes, it\u2019s a <em>battle<\/em>. And some of this battle comes in because of pornography\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014and this fear of not measuring up \/ not measuring up to what their husband or themselves have been exposed to\u2014because they\u2019ve been feeding on this false idea of intimacy that\u2019s, not just false, but it\u2019s <em>sick<\/em> and sinful. That is something \/ a topic that\u2019s <em>often<\/em> discussed, because of what people are exposing themselves to more and more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The culture; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There\u2019s another area that you were very honest about in your book that I know you\u2019ve experienced fear in\u2014and that\u2019s in the area of loss and experiencing tragedy\u2014you lost your father \/ you had four miscarriages. Comment on that, if you would\u2014how that impacts a person\u2019s experience of fear and how it can paralyze them for the future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>My husband\u2014when we moved to the Nashville area, one of the first things that happened is that he began to travel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I remember\u2014and this is kind of comical\u2014but the first time he walked out the door\u2014it was probably two minutes \/ he was probably still in the parking lot\u2014I had buried him \/ figured out the eulogy. [Laughter] I was\u2014in my mind\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You were just afraid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014I was so <em>afraid<\/em>!\u00a0 I was afraid of the future \/ afraid of tragedy. In my <em>fear<\/em>, I made up all these scenarios that hadn\u2019t happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>And I think that\u2019s an area\u2014when you\u2019ve experienced tragedy\u2014now, when you haven\u2019t experienced tragedy, you still struggle with those fears; but the truth is, if we live long enough, we\u2019re going to experience tragedy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>For me, that was something that I feared. I know that part of it was because of my experience with death and the tragedies I\u2019d experienced. The good news is\u2014because I\u2019ve experienced it, I also could quickly take captive those thoughts and speak truth to myself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and to know that God has always been faithful, and He\u2019s good, and I don\u2019t have the grace to deal with something that hasn\u2019t happened yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>With the reality of four miscarriages as a part of your story, if you learned today that you were pregnant, would you be fearful?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I would probably be more shocked because my youngest is six. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; so, after you got passed the shock and you go: \u201cOh, we\u2019re going to have a baby. Maybe\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know that I\u2019d be fearful as much. Here\u2019s why\u2014the first two miscarriages were miserable\u2014I was <em>so<\/em> <em>sad<\/em>. When I got pregnant with my son, I was <em>terrified<\/em> \/ I was just so fearful. Then, when we had him, we had peace!\u00a0 We were so grateful; and we just thought: \u201cOkay. It took two years before I could get pregnant again\u201d; and we tried immediately.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just\u2014I wasn\u2019t getting pregnant. So, I put it to rest\u2014I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to be happy with this gift\u201d\u2014but in between my son and my daughter\u2014I also had two miscarriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of those miscarriages\u2014they started testing and just realized that the baby had a chromosomal defect and wouldn\u2019t have been able to sustain life. At that moment, there was this sobering reality that I\u2019m not all-knowing \/ I\u2019m not all-wise. Only God knows what\u2019s best for my children, and I cannot pretend to be God. So, today, if I got pregnant, I <em>think<\/em> I would have rest in my heart. God has taught me so much through these trials. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not that there wouldn\u2019t be grief or sorrow\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, goodness\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014over a miscarriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but the difference between that and the fear that can control you throughout a pregnancy, where you are wondering, \u201cWhat\u2019s going to happen here?\u201d is really a gap between: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDo I trust God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cin this situation to do what is the right thing, whether I understand that or not?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>That is the key. I don\u2019t always understand His ways, but I can trust Him. He\u2019s wise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>And it\u2019s interesting\u2014you know the hymn writer, William Cowper, who wrote <em>God Moves in a Mysterious Way<\/em>. Those words are so rich to me: \u201cGod moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform\u2026\u201d\u00a0 We will look at God\u2019s ways, and we will interpret them wrongly; but He\u2019s His \u201cown interpreter\u201d\u2014is what the hymn says\u2014and that He will break those clouds of fear and dread\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014with blessings on your head. I think that one of the things that has been remarkable\u2014and is to think about: \u201cWould I trade my kids\u2014my son and daughter, who are with me now?\u201d\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I want all six children; right?\u2014but I would never <em>trade<\/em> them. In the mysterious way that God moves, I have these two children; and it is good, and it\u2019s beautiful. They are wonderful, and I wouldn\u2019t trade them. Would I want to experience miscarriages?\u00a0 No!\u00a0 But would I trade them?\u00a0 No! It\u2019s a strange mystery, but God moves in a mysterious way; and I know He\u2019s good. It helps me to know He is good, and He is sovereign and loving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve demonstrated this several times as we\u2019ve talked, and I\u2019ve got to call to mind a quote that is one of Bob\u2019s favorites by Martin Lloyd-Jones. You actually spoke of counseling your own soul. I\u2019m sure Bob\u2019s got this right off the top of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I don\u2019t have it memorized; but Lloyd-Jones said, \u201cWe spend too much time listening to ourselves and not enough time\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cspeaking\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cspeaking to ourselves and telling ourselves \/ reminding ourselves of what\u2019s true.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the antidote here\u2014isn\u2019t it?\u2014to fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Absolutely. We\u2019ve talked about taking captive our thoughts, and we\u2019ve got to replace them. Our minds\u2014if we just sit in our heads long enough, we will be fearful\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; we will. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>\u2014and we will doubt God. Satan and our own flesh will whisper <em>lies<\/em> about who God is. We\u2019ve got to speak truth to ourselves. I think another\u2014is it Jerry Bridges, maybe, who says, \u201cPreach the gospel to yourself\u201d?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>We need to speak and counsel our own souls, and we need to preach the gospel to ourselves daily. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And there is one other passage of Scripture\u2014that there is a listener somewhere, listening to this broadcast as I quote it, who needs to hear this right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Trillia: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As soon as I read, they are going to recognize it: \u201cThe Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name\u2019s sake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cEven though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever [Psalm 23].\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPerhaps, there is a person, listening right now, who needs to counsel their own soul with these words. He will accomplish what concerns you\u2014He loves you \/ He wants to restore your soul. \u201cWill you return to Him?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I would think it would be helpful for a lot of our listeners to get a copy of Trillia\u2019s book, <em>Fear and Faith<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, get together with other folks\u2014maybe, in your small group or with a group of women in a Bible study \/ a book club. Go through this book together. There is a study guide available online; and if you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ve got the link for that study guide. There\u2019s also a video series available. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy of Trillia\u2019s book, <em>Fear and Faith<\/em>; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a subject we weren\u2019t able to get to on today\u2019s program that\u2019s a part of the book; and if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, you can hear a conversation we had with Trillia about the issue of eating disorders\u2014how fear and faith play into anorexia, and bulimia, and other eating disorders. Again, you\u2019ll find that audio clip online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it has been really fun for us this year to spend time celebrating anniversaries. Back at the beginning of the year, we thought: \u201cThis is our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary. How do we want to celebrate?\u201d We thought, \u201cWe really want to celebrate by looking at the number of anniversaries that have happened over the years because of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of couples and families so that legacies continue today that might not have continued if somebody hadn\u2019t gone to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>marriage getaway, or hadn\u2019t listened to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, or hadn\u2019t found an article online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or hadn\u2019t in some other way connected with this ministry.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd today, we want to say a \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to Bill and Dawn Sundstrom, who live in State College, Pennsylvania. The Sundstroms have been married 30 years today. They have also hosted a small group, using our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> material. Not only have they benefited from the ministry of FamilyLife, but they have shared it with others and been used in their lives to help strengthen their marriages and families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what we\u2019re hoping\u2014our mission is to effectively develop godly families so that those godly families can change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we appreciate those of you who partner with us in this endeavor. We\u2019re listener-supported. Without your support, all that we do, here at FamilyLife, would not happen. In a very real way, when you donate to FamilyLife, you\u2019re helping to strengthen the marriages and families of people all around the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by providing you with a new resource that Barbara Rainey has created. It\u2019s an embassy of the King banner that you can hang in your home to remind yourself that our citizenship is not here\u2014it\u2019s in a higher place. That banner is our gift to you when you make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or when you mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, Jen Wilkin is going to join us. She\u2019ll be here to talk about just how great God is, because she believes that many of us don\u2019t have a full understanding of His attributes. We\u2019ll explore that tomorrow. Hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304202"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304202"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304202"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304202"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}