{"id":304166,"date":"2016-09-12T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-09-12T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/seek-first-the-kingdom\/"},"modified":"2016-09-12T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-09-12T15:00:00","slug":"seek-first-the-kingdom","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seek-first-the-kingdom\/","title":{"rendered":"Seek First the Kingdom"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A good marriage isn&#8217;t about finding the right person, it&#8217;s about building into the spouse you already have. Gary Thomas shares three pillars to building your marriage to last a lifetime.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-09-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.1M","filesize_raw":"27368445","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4213,6071],"podcast_series":[8162],"cwp_profile":[3158],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304166","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-love","tag-love-your-spouse","podcast_series-building-a-marriage-that-lasts","cwp_profile-gary-thomas","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304166\/seek-first-the-kingdom","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304166\/seek-first-the-kingdom","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OXdxQRAjFL\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seek-first-the-kingdom\/\">Seek First the Kingdom<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seek-first-the-kingdom\/embed\/#?secret=OXdxQRAjFL\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Seek First the Kingdom&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"OXdxQRAjFL\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-09-12.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-09-12.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A lifelong love \/ being married to one person for an entire lifetime\u2014Gary Thomas says we\u2019ve just got to be honest\u2014that has some challenges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>When you think about it, none of us are so fascinating that we can keep somebody enthralled for 50 or 60 years. Five or six dates \/ no problem\u2014five or six years \/ that\u2019s a challenge. Fifty or sixty\u2014even if you\u2019re Jerry Seinfeld or Tina Fey\u2014I mean, after a while, your spouse knows your punch lines; alright?\u00a0 They\u2019ve heard your best stories. They know all of your opinions. They know all of your political thoughts, and we\u2019re just not that fascinating to each other anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. So, just how do you get a marriage, not just to endure for a lifetime, but to thrive through the years?\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear from Gary Thomas about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. You know, you stop and think about it\u2014if you were really committed to your automobile \/ the one you\u2019re driving today\u2014if you were committed to the fact that this automobile is going to be the one that\u2019s going to have to last me for a lifetime, you would have to learn some things about auto maintenance, about how to repair parts, and how to take care of things a little better than you probably take care of them. You would have to get serious about taking care of your vehicle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if you knew me, mechanically, you\u2019d have to hire a mechanic. [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m looking at Keith Lynch, who is our\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We just go to Keith!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014chief engineer, Grand Poobah, of rebuilding engines in a single bound in cars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He would take care of all of it for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The same, though, is true if you want your marriage to go the distance. We\u2019re going to hear a message today from our friend, Gary Thomas, who makes it clear that marriages can go the distance and can thrive going the distance; but it takes a little tuning up now and then; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does. And I want to speak to three groups of people\u2014number one, to singles, who are either engaged or are contemplating engagement; a second group of people\/ those who\u2019ve got good marriages, who need to invest in them <em>now<\/em> and strengthen their marriage now for the storms that will come at some point; or third, some couples, who are listening to us right now, and they\u2019ve got a couple of wheels off in the ditch, Bob\u2014maybe, all four. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just be really blunt\u2014all three groups of people that I\u2019m talking to need to get to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. It\u2019s based on the Bible. It\u2019s practical. It\u2019s a <em>lot<\/em> of fun. It\u2019s romantic, and it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> weekend to invest in your marriage. Every couple, who is listening to this broadcast, ought to have some kind of way, every year\u2014if not a couple of times a year\u2014to find ways to invest in your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway isn\u2019t one of the best ways to do it, we\u2019ll give you your registration fee back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve got about 40 of these events starting here in a few weeks. Any of our listeners, who would like to attend an upcoming getaway, if you will register today\u2014pay the regular rate for yourself, your spouse comes free. This offer is good through the weekend. So, if you want to take advantage of this, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Look for information on the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. You can register online; or if it\u2019s easier, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to register over the phone. Again, if you register today, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, listen carefully as\u2014today, we\u2019re going to hear from our friend, Gary Thomas. Gary is on the pastoral staff at Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas. He\u2019s a well-known author\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014probably best-known for his book, <em>Sacred Marriage<\/em>. He spoke to a group recently at an event we were hosting, where he talked about the kinds of things that couples do that cause a marriage to go all the way to the finish line with joy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Last summer, as part of a date night, took my wife to go see <em>San Andreas<\/em>, starring the Rock\u2014you all familiar with the Rock?\u00a0 He\u2019s just a mountain with arms. One of the interesting parts about the movie, however, was the disconnectedness of their marriage. They had a daughter \/ they were estranged, and they were trying to save her. In fighting this natural disaster and trying to rescue their daughter, they were brought back together. It was a disconnected marriage that was reconnected. Now, we will hopefully never have a natural disaster that pulls us all closer together as couples; at least, I\u2019m really hoping that doesn\u2019t happen <em>this<\/em> week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there are a lot of spiritual truths that, if we\u2019ll accept them, will help us find our way back to recommit to have a lifelong love\u2014not just <em>staying<\/em> together. A lifelong love that we\u2019re going to be talking about here is how two individuals get reconnected and stay connected: \u201cWhat are those spiritual truths that lead, not just to character growth, but to couple intimacy?\u201d That\u2019s what it\u2019s all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe challenge is\u2014intimacy doesn\u2019t just happen, even if you made a very wise marital choice. What I always like to tell my premarital couples is that too many people think of creating a marriage like they\u2019re planting a tree. Have you ever done this?\u00a0 You put the sapling in the ground, you fertilize it, you water it, and you stake it. If there are deer around, you might even put a fence around it to protect it. But you know, after a while, that tree just takes off on its own\u2014you don\u2019t have to keep feeding it; you don\u2019t have to keep watering it; you don\u2019t really have to protect it. It becomes strong enough on its own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s kind of how we treat our romantic relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the early days, we water it\u2014we share stories, we encourage each other, we feed it. We make sure we have date nights. We make sure we plan things to do that we\u2019ll really enjoy. We protect it\u2014we resolve conflict \/ we don\u2019t let bitterness grow up. But then, we get married, and we have kids, and we have jobs. Suddenly, marriage goes down farther on the list of priorities. We just never keep feeding it because we think, organically, it\u2019s just going to keep growing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you know what?\u00a0 That never happens, because building a marriage isn\u2019t like planting a tree. I believe it\u2019s far more like building a brick house, and you have to put it together brick by brick. And if you stop, at any point along the way, even if you get 80 percent of the way done, that house doesn\u2019t finish itself. In fact, it gets worse\u2014it starts to crumble, the elements come in, the weather will assault it, and it will be worse off than before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve seen that so often with so many couples. They get a good start\u2014they are infatuated. They think they\u2019ve made the best choice in the world; and then, the house just begins to crumble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we keep that from happening?\u00a0 How do we build a lifelong love?\u00a0 What I\u2019m trying to suggest is that a good marriage isn\u2019t something you find. It\u2019s something you <em>make<\/em>\u2014and this is key\u2014and you have to keep on making it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Hollywood, it\u2019s just about finding the right person. Then, everything is supposed to naturally fall, like planting a tree. I believe we\u2019re going to find out, biblically, that a good marriage isn\u2019t something you find\u2014it\u2019s something you make, and you have to keep on making it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to talk about three pillars \/ three spiritual pillars that we can build a lifelong love upon. The first pillar is what I call \u201cThe Magnificent Obsession.\u201d Before I tell you what that means, I want to tell you about the problems that The Magnificent Obsession solves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy do we become disconnected as couples?\u00a0 What creates that distance?\u00a0 The first spiritual challenge we face, as marital couples, is told us by James, Chapter 3, verse 2, when he says this: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe all stumble in\u201d\u2014how many ways?\u2014\u201cmany ways.\u201d\u00a0 That means the Bible is literally promising you that the spouse you married will frustrate you \/ will disappoint you. Their limitations will become a serious issue\u2014not just occasionally\u2014but in many ways. You might think: \u201cWell, that was true before we got married; so why is it an issue after we are married?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when we\u2019re infatuated with each other, we\u2019re in the first flush of early love. We\u2019re in a state that neurologists call idealization. What that means is\u2014when you are infatuated, you are relating to somebody who actually doesn\u2019t <em>exist<\/em>. You give them strengths they don\u2019t really have. You miss the weaknesses that everybody else sees. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s a classic case in point\u2014let\u2019s say you\u2019ve got an infatuated couple at a college cafeteria. The girlfriend is walking behind the boyfriend. He\u2019s got his tray in his hand, and a napkin flies off his tray. So, he just bends down; he picks it up. The girlfriend is so overwhelmed at this incredible act of virtue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe runs to her girlfriends and tries to get him nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize; right?\u00a0 \u201cDid you see what he did?\u00a0 He picked up the napkin!\u00a0 I mean, he cares about the wait staff. Obviously, he\u2019s concerned about the environment. Next to Jesus Christ, I don\u2019t know if a man of his character has ever walked the earth!\u201d\u00a0 I mean, they don\u2019t see it because she\u2019s counting so much into something so little. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she\u2019ll miss what they see. \u201cWell, okay; yes. He picked up the napkin, but he seems kind of angry to us.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo, he\u2019s just passionate. That\u2019s what I love about him so much. He\u2019s so passionate.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know. It sounded to me like he was cussing that guy out.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cActually, I think he was speaking in tongues. You know, he\u2019s got a very spiritual side to him.\u201d\u00a0 So, she\u2019ll go off and marry him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, here\u2019s what every pastor, and every counselor, and so many friends have heard: \u201cHe\u2019s not who I thought he was.\u201d\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 That\u2019s a necessary stage in the relationship. Intimacy, by definition, is knowing someone and accepting someone. You can\u2019t accept someone that you don\u2019t know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat period has to pass so that you can start to begin a real relationship built on real intimacy, but it\u2019s a <em>jolt<\/em> when it first happens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second challenge that often causes us to be disconnected\u2014and I\u2019ve never seen this on surveys. Maybe, I just talk to different couples\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014but usually they talk about what breaks couples up\u2014it\u2019s financial problems, intimacy problems, in-laws \/ all of that. But just, as a pastor, who has talked to a lot of couples\u2014if I could be honest\u2014I think one of the greatest assaults on most marriages is just that we get bored with each other. Does that ring true to anyone?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying that about you and your spouse, but don\u2019t you see that with others?\u00a0 Part of that\u2014isn\u2019t that part of the natural human condition?\u00a0 None of us are so fascinating that we can keep somebody enthralled for 50 or 60 years. Five or six dates \/ no problem\u2014five or six years \/ that\u2019s a challenge. Fifty or sixty\u2014even if you\u2019re Jerry Seinfeld or Tina Fey\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I mean, after a while, your spouse knows your punch lines; alright?\u00a0 They\u2019ve heard your best stories. They know all of your opinions. They know all of your political thoughts, and we\u2019re just not that fascinating to each other anymore. <br><br>Well, these two natural conditions\u2014that we all stumble in many ways and that we really can\u2019t keep somebody enchanted for 50 and 60 years\u2014gives us a huge spiritual truth that The Magnificent Obsession will address. And the spiritual truth is this: \u201cWe were made for more than each other. God created us for more than marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it might seem almost bizarre that, here on the first session of a marriage cruise, I\u2019m talking about how we have to focus on more than our marriage; but that\u2019s where the Bible leads us. God created us with an entirely different pursuit, and we can suffocate our marriages if we ask too much of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s what I believe Jesus addresses in The Magnificent Obsession\u2014which I\u2019m taking that famous quote from the heart of the Sermon on the Mount \/ Matthew 6:33. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus says this: \u201cSeek first\u201d\u2014not an intimate marriage, not successful children, not a fulfilling vocation\u2014He says, \u201cSeek first the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br>Now, what does \u201ckingdom of God\u201d mean?\u00a0 It\u2019s Jesus\u2019 rule; it\u2019s His reign; it\u2019s His influence. If somebody is seeking first God\u2019s kingdom, it means they wake up and they are thinking: \u201cWhat\u2019s on God\u2019s agenda?\u201d\u2014not on mine\u2014\u201cWhat gifts has He given me?\u00a0 What time has He given me?\u00a0 What resources has He given me?\u201d and \u201cHow can I invest those in God\u2019s kingdom?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou were created, spiritually, to have an eternal impact. If we live for too small of an aim\u2014even if that aim is the most intimate and fulfilling of marriages we\u2019ve ever known\u2014that still is a selfish aim. Ultimately, there will be this listlessness in our souls, where we say, \u201cI just feel like I was married for more than this.\u201d\u00a0 If we\u2019re not careful, what Satan will tempt us with is: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes; you must have married the wrong person, because you are not completely fulfilled.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe that God let\u2019s that listlessness happen to say: \u201cAre you trying to succeed at things that don\u2019t really matter?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, how frustrating to live a life succeeding at things that are not of ultimate or eternal purpose. Small lives can\u2019t sustain big marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see so many marriages renewed and sustained when they gather around God\u2019s purpose together\u2014arm-in-arm and hand-in-hand\u2014they\u2019re serving the Lord. See, marriage changed for me when I finally realized: \u201cLisa, my wife, isn\u2019t my destination. She\u2019s my travelling partner.\u201d\u00a0 If I expect her to be my destination, and I\u2019m frustrated where I\u2019m at, I think something is wrong with the destination; but if she\u2019s my travelling partner, we\u2019re going arm-in-arm, together, toward something else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why I often tell young couples: \u201cDon\u2019t worry so much about falling out of love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cInfatuation is a 12- to 18-month neurochemical process. You can scope it out on anybody\u2019s brain. Instead of worrying about falling out of love\u2014worry about falling out of purpose; because it\u2019s the lack of purpose that makes us listless \/ that makes us feel like there\u2019s got to be more\u2014if we can gather around: \u2018Why did God create us?\u00a0 What are we doing with our kids?\u00a0 Are we just trying to create great sports stars or successful business people, or are we really trying to give them that vision for God to use them and their gifts to impact eternity?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, Jesus doesn\u2019t just say, \u201cSeek first the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 He also says, \u201cSeek first\u2026His righteousness.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I know not everybody comes from a church background that comes on this cruise; and we\u2019re glad you\u2019re here. I know this might sound very religious at this point, but I want to show you how practical this is when we apply it to marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When Jesus says to seek first His righteousness, here is what He is suggesting. If we are seeking first His righteousness, we\u2019re dying to the very things that destroy most marriages\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014unkindness, impatience, anger, selfishness, and pride. Then, seeking His righteousness isn\u2019t just avoiding the bad; it\u2019s bringing in and cultivating the good. So, we\u2019re growing in the fruit of the Spirit\u2014love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. We\u2019re becoming the kind of people that can actually enjoy being together for 30, 40, or 50 years without wanting to commit a homicide. [Laughter]\u00a0 It just draws us closer and closer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think with my own marriage with Lisa\u2014and she has really grown in kindness. We got married so young\u2014I was 22 \/ she was 19. I think God has really helped me grow by getting rid of some of my selfishness \/ I was so selfish as a young husband. Now, just think about these two qualities\u2014you don\u2019t even have to look at it\u2014if you have somebody really growing in kindness and somebody is becoming more and more unselfish, just imagine how those two qualities alone will greatly enhance a marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s say you have two people that are really trying to grow in all the fruit of the Spirit\u2014they want to become gentler; they want to become more courageous; they want to have more joy; they want to have more patience; they want more humility\u2014it can completely transform our marriages\u2014which is why I don\u2019t just tell young couples: \u201cDon\u2019t worry about falling out of love or about falling out of purpose.\u201d\u00a0 Another way I will put it is: \u201cDon\u2019t worry about falling out of love. Worry about falling out of repentance because it\u2019s our little sins that destroy the affections we have.\u201d When Jesus says we do this, what\u2019s His promise after that?\u2014\u201c\u2026and all these things will be added unto you,\u201d as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a person of purpose \/ if you\u2019re a person of repentance, you\u2019re going to have a <em>rich<\/em> life, even if you have a difficult marriage \/ even if you have an unsatisfying marriage. But if you have a great marriage and you\u2019re doing it together, that\u2019s when marriage can completely take off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing \/ the second pillar of how we build a lifelong love goes back to the root of what we think our greatest need is. For me, it was 180 degrees different from what I thought it was when I first got married. If you were to think to yourself\u2014when you were growing up\u2014\u201cWhat do you think your greatest need \/ what you really had to get?\u201d\u00a0 I know, just coming from Texas, a lot of young women say they grew up\u2014they\u2019re thinking they\u2019ve really got to be beautiful\u2014that\u2019s what they think gives them worth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of mine is a worship pastor. The problem with being a worship pastor is you always have to get to church first; right?\u2014you start the service\u2014nobody else is there. They have young kids, which is always\u2014Sunday\u2019s just a chaotic time. So, they have this ritual. He\u2019ll take whatever kid is washed, and fed, and ready. Then, his wife will follow behind in a second car with the other kids that haven\u2019t gotten ready yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne Sunday, he was running behind; and just his little girl was ready. He picks this toddler up, puts her in the backseat of the minivan, races to the church, trying to go all through the [traffic] signs and all of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe finally gets to the church, puts the van in park, runs around to the back, opens up the door of the van, and then, his heart just sinks. His wife had left a tube of red lipstick in the backseat. His little girl had gotten it, and she painted her face; right?\u2014she looked like a clown. It was over her hair, her cheeks, her ears, and everything. He was just: \u201cOh, honey; we don\u2019t have time for this. Give me the lipstick.\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cDaddy, I\u2019m not beautiful yet.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cHoney, lipstick doesn\u2019t make you beautiful.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t?!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo! You need mascara, foundation\u2026\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter] He was from Dallas\u2014what can I say?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what do we think today that makes us beautiful, before God, as believers?\u00a0 Of course, it\u2019s the finished work of Jesus Christ \/ His righteousness is ours. But there is a point where there is a certain character He wants us to have. It\u2019s important for us to realize that; because it\u2019s what we\u2019ll work for, it\u2019s what we will strive for, and it\u2019s what we\u2019ll ask God to provide. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I first got married, I thought my greatest need was to be loved; because that\u2019s what Hollywood told me, that\u2019s what every song told me, that was the plot of novels and television shows and what-not: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to find that person to love you.\u201d\u00a0 And yet, I believe on the day I got married, God would\u2019ve said to me: \u201cGary, that\u2019s actually not your greatest need; because you are already loved as well as anybody can be loved.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this is what I would invite any of you that don\u2019t know the Lord\u2014this is why it means so much to us\u2014it\u2019s not a religious obligation. In Jesus Christ, I finally found one person who could accept me, affirm me, love me, and forgive me like I\u2019d <em>never<\/em> been accepted before. He said: \u201cLook, I sent my Son to die to <em>prove<\/em> My love for you. Then, I gave you my Holy Spirit, who comforts you, who encourages you, who counsels you. And when you go off and do those stupid things, He convicts you and makes you miserable so you don\u2019t wreck your life. You can\u2019t be loved better than I\u2019ve loved you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of you believers here may say you don\u2019t feel like you have that experiential relationship with God, but it\u2019s there for the taking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not because He\u2019s hiding from us. While you might still feel, \u201cWell, I still believe my fundamental need is to be loved,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s sort of like: \u201cWell, yes; our fundamental need is to eat, but not right after Thanksgiving dinner; right?\u00a0 Then, our fundamental need might be to go take a walk.\u201d Spiritually, that\u2019s how God looks at our situation. Our greatest need is not to be loved\u2014here it is, and this is the second pillar\u2014Our Greatest Need Is to Learn How to Love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we have been listening to the first part of a message from Gary Thomas, speaking about, really, the glory of and the grandeur of marriage and having, I think, a bigger vision for our marriage than we often have. There is something about life and the daily-ness of life that can cause us to kind of minimize marriage when God wants it to be the glorious thing that He designed it to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It [marriage] is meant to reflect who God is to a fallen earth. I love what Gary said in his message: \u201cInstead of worrying about falling out of love, worry about falling out of purpose.\u201d\u00a0 Every marriage has a divinely-designed purpose for you two as a couple. The question is: \u201cWhat is it?\u201d and \u201cAre you about it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you need a refresher course\u2014maybe, in terms of what that is\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, Bob, is a great way for a couple to kind of pull out of the mainstream and the pressure of the daily-ness of life and to kind of realign with what the Scriptures call marriages to do and to be in a culture today that desperately needs to see two people who, not only like each other, but who are also on mission together. It\u2019s a whole lot easier to balance a bicycle made for two if you\u2019re both facing the same direction and you\u2019re pedaling together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the picture he\u2019s talking about here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s right. We are about to begin our fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaways. This week is the last opportunity <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners have to sign up for one of these upcoming events and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee\u2014you pay for yourself \/ your spouse comes free. The offer is good through the end of this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you want to take advantage of this special opportunity to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> at a special rate, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the link for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. There is information about when events are coming to a city near where you live. You can register online; and again, you\u2019re eligible for the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 percent discount if you sign up this week. If you have any questions about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We can register you over the phone; or again, you can register easily online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, when you are on our website, the message we heard from Gary Thomas today\u2014much of it is found in a wonderful book he has written called <em>A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, Friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage<\/em>. It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order copies from us online, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d today\u2014going out to our friends, David and Melissa Roberts, who live in Midland, Michigan. The Roberts listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on WUGN. They have been with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise \/ they\u2019ve attended <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. They help support this ministry with their financial gifts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate the Roberts and all of you who listen regularly. If today is your anniversary, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to you as well. I hope you make a big deal out of your anniversary today, because anniversaries are a big deal; and you should make them a big deal. Our goal, here at FamilyLife, is to help more couples celebrate more anniversaries, year in and year out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who help make that happen\u2014those of you who, like the Roberts, help support this ministry. You can make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can be back with us again tomorrow. We\u2019ll hear Part Two of Gary Thomas\u2019 message on what it takes to build a marriage that lasts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.1M"],"filesize_raw":["27368445"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304166.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304166.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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good marriage isn't about finding the right person, it's about building into the spouse you already have. Gary Thomas shares three pillars to building your marriage to last a lifetime.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-09-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A lifelong love \/ being married to one person for an entire lifetime\u2014Gary Thomas says we\u2019ve just got to be honest\u2014that has some challenges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>When you think about it, none of us are so fascinating that we can keep somebody enthralled for 50 or 60 years. Five or six dates \/ no problem\u2014five or six years \/ that\u2019s a challenge. Fifty or sixty\u2014even if you\u2019re Jerry Seinfeld or Tina Fey\u2014I mean, after a while, your spouse knows your punch lines; alright?\u00a0 They\u2019ve heard your best stories. They know all of your opinions. They know all of your political thoughts, and we\u2019re just not that fascinating to each other anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 12<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. So, just how do you get a marriage, not just to endure for a lifetime, but to thrive through the years?\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear from Gary Thomas about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. You know, you stop and think about it\u2014if you were really committed to your automobile \/ the one you\u2019re driving today\u2014if you were committed to the fact that this automobile is going to be the one that\u2019s going to have to last me for a lifetime, you would have to learn some things about auto maintenance, about how to repair parts, and how to take care of things a little better than you probably take care of them. You would have to get serious about taking care of your vehicle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if you knew me, mechanically, you\u2019d have to hire a mechanic. [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m looking at Keith Lynch, who is our\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We just go to Keith!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014chief engineer, Grand Poobah, of rebuilding engines in a single bound in cars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He would take care of all of it for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The same, though, is true if you want your marriage to go the distance. We\u2019re going to hear a message today from our friend, Gary Thomas, who makes it clear that marriages can go the distance and can thrive going the distance; but it takes a little tuning up now and then; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does. And I want to speak to three groups of people\u2014number one, to singles, who are either engaged or are contemplating engagement; a second group of people\/ those who\u2019ve got good marriages, who need to invest in them <em>now<\/em> and strengthen their marriage now for the storms that will come at some point; or third, some couples, who are listening to us right now, and they\u2019ve got a couple of wheels off in the ditch, Bob\u2014maybe, all four. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just be really blunt\u2014all three groups of people that I\u2019m talking to need to get to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. It\u2019s based on the Bible. It\u2019s practical. It\u2019s a <em>lot<\/em> of fun. It\u2019s romantic, and it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> weekend to invest in your marriage. Every couple, who is listening to this broadcast, ought to have some kind of way, every year\u2014if not a couple of times a year\u2014to find ways to invest in your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway isn\u2019t one of the best ways to do it, we\u2019ll give you your registration fee back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve got about 40 of these events starting here in a few weeks. Any of our listeners, who would like to attend an upcoming getaway, if you will register today\u2014pay the regular rate for yourself, your spouse comes free. This offer is good through the weekend. So, if you want to take advantage of this, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Look for information on the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. You can register online; or if it\u2019s easier, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to register over the phone. Again, if you register today, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, listen carefully as\u2014today, we\u2019re going to hear from our friend, Gary Thomas. Gary is on the pastoral staff at Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas. He\u2019s a well-known author\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014probably best-known for his book, <em>Sacred Marriage<\/em>. He spoke to a group recently at an event we were hosting, where he talked about the kinds of things that couples do that cause a marriage to go all the way to the finish line with joy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary: <\/strong>Last summer, as part of a date night, took my wife to go see <em>San Andreas<\/em>, starring the Rock\u2014you all familiar with the Rock?\u00a0 He\u2019s just a mountain with arms. One of the interesting parts about the movie, however, was the disconnectedness of their marriage. They had a daughter \/ they were estranged, and they were trying to save her. In fighting this natural disaster and trying to rescue their daughter, they were brought back together. It was a disconnected marriage that was reconnected. Now, we will hopefully never have a natural disaster that pulls us all closer together as couples; at least, I\u2019m really hoping that doesn\u2019t happen <em>this<\/em> week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there are a lot of spiritual truths that, if we\u2019ll accept them, will help us find our way back to recommit to have a lifelong love\u2014not just <em>staying<\/em> together. A lifelong love that we\u2019re going to be talking about here is how two individuals get reconnected and stay connected: \u201cWhat are those spiritual truths that lead, not just to character growth, but to couple intimacy?\u201d That\u2019s what it\u2019s all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe challenge is\u2014intimacy doesn\u2019t just happen, even if you made a very wise marital choice. What I always like to tell my premarital couples is that too many people think of creating a marriage like they\u2019re planting a tree. Have you ever done this?\u00a0 You put the sapling in the ground, you fertilize it, you water it, and you stake it. If there are deer around, you might even put a fence around it to protect it. But you know, after a while, that tree just takes off on its own\u2014you don\u2019t have to keep feeding it; you don\u2019t have to keep watering it; you don\u2019t really have to protect it. It becomes strong enough on its own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s kind of how we treat our romantic relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the early days, we water it\u2014we share stories, we encourage each other, we feed it. We make sure we have date nights. We make sure we plan things to do that we\u2019ll really enjoy. We protect it\u2014we resolve conflict \/ we don\u2019t let bitterness grow up. But then, we get married, and we have kids, and we have jobs. Suddenly, marriage goes down farther on the list of priorities. We just never keep feeding it because we think, organically, it\u2019s just going to keep growing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you know what?\u00a0 That never happens, because building a marriage isn\u2019t like planting a tree. I believe it\u2019s far more like building a brick house, and you have to put it together brick by brick. And if you stop, at any point along the way, even if you get 80 percent of the way done, that house doesn\u2019t finish itself. In fact, it gets worse\u2014it starts to crumble, the elements come in, the weather will assault it, and it will be worse off than before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve seen that so often with so many couples. They get a good start\u2014they are infatuated. They think they\u2019ve made the best choice in the world; and then, the house just begins to crumble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we keep that from happening?\u00a0 How do we build a lifelong love?\u00a0 What I\u2019m trying to suggest is that a good marriage isn\u2019t something you find. It\u2019s something you <em>make<\/em>\u2014and this is key\u2014and you have to keep on making it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Hollywood, it\u2019s just about finding the right person. Then, everything is supposed to naturally fall, like planting a tree. I believe we\u2019re going to find out, biblically, that a good marriage isn\u2019t something you find\u2014it\u2019s something you make, and you have to keep on making it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to talk about three pillars \/ three spiritual pillars that we can build a lifelong love upon. The first pillar is what I call \u201cThe Magnificent Obsession.\u201d Before I tell you what that means, I want to tell you about the problems that The Magnificent Obsession solves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy do we become disconnected as couples?\u00a0 What creates that distance?\u00a0 The first spiritual challenge we face, as marital couples, is told us by James, Chapter 3, verse 2, when he says this: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe all stumble in\u201d\u2014how many ways?\u2014\u201cmany ways.\u201d\u00a0 That means the Bible is literally promising you that the spouse you married will frustrate you \/ will disappoint you. Their limitations will become a serious issue\u2014not just occasionally\u2014but in many ways. You might think: \u201cWell, that was true before we got married; so why is it an issue after we are married?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when we\u2019re infatuated with each other, we\u2019re in the first flush of early love. We\u2019re in a state that neurologists call idealization. What that means is\u2014when you are infatuated, you are relating to somebody who actually doesn\u2019t <em>exist<\/em>. You give them strengths they don\u2019t really have. You miss the weaknesses that everybody else sees. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s a classic case in point\u2014let\u2019s say you\u2019ve got an infatuated couple at a college cafeteria. The girlfriend is walking behind the boyfriend. He\u2019s got his tray in his hand, and a napkin flies off his tray. So, he just bends down; he picks it up. The girlfriend is so overwhelmed at this incredible act of virtue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe runs to her girlfriends and tries to get him nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize; right?\u00a0 \u201cDid you see what he did?\u00a0 He picked up the napkin!\u00a0 I mean, he cares about the wait staff. Obviously, he\u2019s concerned about the environment. Next to Jesus Christ, I don\u2019t know if a man of his character has ever walked the earth!\u201d\u00a0 I mean, they don\u2019t see it because she\u2019s counting so much into something so little. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she\u2019ll miss what they see. \u201cWell, okay; yes. He picked up the napkin, but he seems kind of angry to us.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo, he\u2019s just passionate. That\u2019s what I love about him so much. He\u2019s so passionate.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know. It sounded to me like he was cussing that guy out.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cActually, I think he was speaking in tongues. You know, he\u2019s got a very spiritual side to him.\u201d\u00a0 So, she\u2019ll go off and marry him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, here\u2019s what every pastor, and every counselor, and so many friends have heard: \u201cHe\u2019s not who I thought he was.\u201d\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 That\u2019s a necessary stage in the relationship. Intimacy, by definition, is knowing someone and accepting someone. You can\u2019t accept someone that you don\u2019t know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat period has to pass so that you can start to begin a real relationship built on real intimacy, but it\u2019s a <em>jolt<\/em> when it first happens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second challenge that often causes us to be disconnected\u2014and I\u2019ve never seen this on surveys. Maybe, I just talk to different couples\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014but usually they talk about what breaks couples up\u2014it\u2019s financial problems, intimacy problems, in-laws \/ all of that. But just, as a pastor, who has talked to a lot of couples\u2014if I could be honest\u2014I think one of the greatest assaults on most marriages is just that we get bored with each other. Does that ring true to anyone?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying that about you and your spouse, but don\u2019t you see that with others?\u00a0 Part of that\u2014isn\u2019t that part of the natural human condition?\u00a0 None of us are so fascinating that we can keep somebody enthralled for 50 or 60 years. Five or six dates \/ no problem\u2014five or six years \/ that\u2019s a challenge. Fifty or sixty\u2014even if you\u2019re Jerry Seinfeld or Tina Fey\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I mean, after a while, your spouse knows your punch lines; alright?\u00a0 They\u2019ve heard your best stories. They know all of your opinions. They know all of your political thoughts, and we\u2019re just not that fascinating to each other anymore. <br><br>Well, these two natural conditions\u2014that we all stumble in many ways and that we really can\u2019t keep somebody enchanted for 50 and 60 years\u2014gives us a huge spiritual truth that The Magnificent Obsession will address. And the spiritual truth is this: \u201cWe were made for more than each other. God created us for more than marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it might seem almost bizarre that, here on the first session of a marriage cruise, I\u2019m talking about how we have to focus on more than our marriage; but that\u2019s where the Bible leads us. God created us with an entirely different pursuit, and we can suffocate our marriages if we ask too much of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s what I believe Jesus addresses in The Magnificent Obsession\u2014which I\u2019m taking that famous quote from the heart of the Sermon on the Mount \/ Matthew 6:33. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus says this: \u201cSeek first\u201d\u2014not an intimate marriage, not successful children, not a fulfilling vocation\u2014He says, \u201cSeek first the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br>Now, what does \u201ckingdom of God\u201d mean?\u00a0 It\u2019s Jesus\u2019 rule; it\u2019s His reign; it\u2019s His influence. If somebody is seeking first God\u2019s kingdom, it means they wake up and they are thinking: \u201cWhat\u2019s on God\u2019s agenda?\u201d\u2014not on mine\u2014\u201cWhat gifts has He given me?\u00a0 What time has He given me?\u00a0 What resources has He given me?\u201d and \u201cHow can I invest those in God\u2019s kingdom?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou were created, spiritually, to have an eternal impact. If we live for too small of an aim\u2014even if that aim is the most intimate and fulfilling of marriages we\u2019ve ever known\u2014that still is a selfish aim. Ultimately, there will be this listlessness in our souls, where we say, \u201cI just feel like I was married for more than this.\u201d\u00a0 If we\u2019re not careful, what Satan will tempt us with is: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes; you must have married the wrong person, because you are not completely fulfilled.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe that God let\u2019s that listlessness happen to say: \u201cAre you trying to succeed at things that don\u2019t really matter?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, how frustrating to live a life succeeding at things that are not of ultimate or eternal purpose. Small lives can\u2019t sustain big marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see so many marriages renewed and sustained when they gather around God\u2019s purpose together\u2014arm-in-arm and hand-in-hand\u2014they\u2019re serving the Lord. See, marriage changed for me when I finally realized: \u201cLisa, my wife, isn\u2019t my destination. She\u2019s my travelling partner.\u201d\u00a0 If I expect her to be my destination, and I\u2019m frustrated where I\u2019m at, I think something is wrong with the destination; but if she\u2019s my travelling partner, we\u2019re going arm-in-arm, together, toward something else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why I often tell young couples: \u201cDon\u2019t worry so much about falling out of love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cInfatuation is a 12- to 18-month neurochemical process. You can scope it out on anybody\u2019s brain. Instead of worrying about falling out of love\u2014worry about falling out of purpose; because it\u2019s the lack of purpose that makes us listless \/ that makes us feel like there\u2019s got to be more\u2014if we can gather around: \u2018Why did God create us?\u00a0 What are we doing with our kids?\u00a0 Are we just trying to create great sports stars or successful business people, or are we really trying to give them that vision for God to use them and their gifts to impact eternity?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, Jesus doesn\u2019t just say, \u201cSeek first the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 He also says, \u201cSeek first\u2026His righteousness.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I know not everybody comes from a church background that comes on this cruise; and we\u2019re glad you\u2019re here. I know this might sound very religious at this point, but I want to show you how practical this is when we apply it to marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When Jesus says to seek first His righteousness, here is what He is suggesting. If we are seeking first His righteousness, we\u2019re dying to the very things that destroy most marriages\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014unkindness, impatience, anger, selfishness, and pride. Then, seeking His righteousness isn\u2019t just avoiding the bad; it\u2019s bringing in and cultivating the good. So, we\u2019re growing in the fruit of the Spirit\u2014love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. We\u2019re becoming the kind of people that can actually enjoy being together for 30, 40, or 50 years without wanting to commit a homicide. [Laughter]\u00a0 It just draws us closer and closer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think with my own marriage with Lisa\u2014and she has really grown in kindness. We got married so young\u2014I was 22 \/ she was 19. I think God has really helped me grow by getting rid of some of my selfishness \/ I was so selfish as a young husband. Now, just think about these two qualities\u2014you don\u2019t even have to look at it\u2014if you have somebody really growing in kindness and somebody is becoming more and more unselfish, just imagine how those two qualities alone will greatly enhance a marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s say you have two people that are really trying to grow in all the fruit of the Spirit\u2014they want to become gentler; they want to become more courageous; they want to have more joy; they want to have more patience; they want more humility\u2014it can completely transform our marriages\u2014which is why I don\u2019t just tell young couples: \u201cDon\u2019t worry about falling out of love or about falling out of purpose.\u201d\u00a0 Another way I will put it is: \u201cDon\u2019t worry about falling out of love. Worry about falling out of repentance because it\u2019s our little sins that destroy the affections we have.\u201d When Jesus says we do this, what\u2019s His promise after that?\u2014\u201c\u2026and all these things will be added unto you,\u201d as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a person of purpose \/ if you\u2019re a person of repentance, you\u2019re going to have a <em>rich<\/em> life, even if you have a difficult marriage \/ even if you have an unsatisfying marriage. But if you have a great marriage and you\u2019re doing it together, that\u2019s when marriage can completely take off. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing \/ the second pillar of how we build a lifelong love goes back to the root of what we think our greatest need is. For me, it was 180 degrees different from what I thought it was when I first got married. If you were to think to yourself\u2014when you were growing up\u2014\u201cWhat do you think your greatest need \/ what you really had to get?\u201d\u00a0 I know, just coming from Texas, a lot of young women say they grew up\u2014they\u2019re thinking they\u2019ve really got to be beautiful\u2014that\u2019s what they think gives them worth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of mine is a worship pastor. The problem with being a worship pastor is you always have to get to church first; right?\u2014you start the service\u2014nobody else is there. They have young kids, which is always\u2014Sunday\u2019s just a chaotic time. So, they have this ritual. He\u2019ll take whatever kid is washed, and fed, and ready. Then, his wife will follow behind in a second car with the other kids that haven\u2019t gotten ready yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne Sunday, he was running behind; and just his little girl was ready. He picks this toddler up, puts her in the backseat of the minivan, races to the church, trying to go all through the [traffic] signs and all of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe finally gets to the church, puts the van in park, runs around to the back, opens up the door of the van, and then, his heart just sinks. His wife had left a tube of red lipstick in the backseat. His little girl had gotten it, and she painted her face; right?\u2014she looked like a clown. It was over her hair, her cheeks, her ears, and everything. He was just: \u201cOh, honey; we don\u2019t have time for this. Give me the lipstick.\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cDaddy, I\u2019m not beautiful yet.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cHoney, lipstick doesn\u2019t make you beautiful.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cIt doesn\u2019t?!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo! You need mascara, foundation\u2026\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter] He was from Dallas\u2014what can I say?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what do we think today that makes us beautiful, before God, as believers?\u00a0 Of course, it\u2019s the finished work of Jesus Christ \/ His righteousness is ours. But there is a point where there is a certain character He wants us to have. It\u2019s important for us to realize that; because it\u2019s what we\u2019ll work for, it\u2019s what we will strive for, and it\u2019s what we\u2019ll ask God to provide. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I first got married, I thought my greatest need was to be loved; because that\u2019s what Hollywood told me, that\u2019s what every song told me, that was the plot of novels and television shows and what-not: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to find that person to love you.\u201d\u00a0 And yet, I believe on the day I got married, God would\u2019ve said to me: \u201cGary, that\u2019s actually not your greatest need; because you are already loved as well as anybody can be loved.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this is what I would invite any of you that don\u2019t know the Lord\u2014this is why it means so much to us\u2014it\u2019s not a religious obligation. In Jesus Christ, I finally found one person who could accept me, affirm me, love me, and forgive me like I\u2019d <em>never<\/em> been accepted before. He said: \u201cLook, I sent my Son to die to <em>prove<\/em> My love for you. Then, I gave you my Holy Spirit, who comforts you, who encourages you, who counsels you. And when you go off and do those stupid things, He convicts you and makes you miserable so you don\u2019t wreck your life. You can\u2019t be loved better than I\u2019ve loved you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of you believers here may say you don\u2019t feel like you have that experiential relationship with God, but it\u2019s there for the taking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not because He\u2019s hiding from us. While you might still feel, \u201cWell, I still believe my fundamental need is to be loved,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s sort of like: \u201cWell, yes; our fundamental need is to eat, but not right after Thanksgiving dinner; right?\u00a0 Then, our fundamental need might be to go take a walk.\u201d Spiritually, that\u2019s how God looks at our situation. Our greatest need is not to be loved\u2014here it is, and this is the second pillar\u2014Our Greatest Need Is to Learn How to Love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we have been listening to the first part of a message from Gary Thomas, speaking about, really, the glory of and the grandeur of marriage and having, I think, a bigger vision for our marriage than we often have. There is something about life and the daily-ness of life that can cause us to kind of minimize marriage when God wants it to be the glorious thing that He designed it to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It [marriage] is meant to reflect who God is to a fallen earth. I love what Gary said in his message: \u201cInstead of worrying about falling out of love, worry about falling out of purpose.\u201d\u00a0 Every marriage has a divinely-designed purpose for you two as a couple. The question is: \u201cWhat is it?\u201d and \u201cAre you about it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you need a refresher course\u2014maybe, in terms of what that is\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, Bob, is a great way for a couple to kind of pull out of the mainstream and the pressure of the daily-ness of life and to kind of realign with what the Scriptures call marriages to do and to be in a culture today that desperately needs to see two people who, not only like each other, but who are also on mission together. It\u2019s a whole lot easier to balance a bicycle made for two if you\u2019re both facing the same direction and you\u2019re pedaling together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the picture he\u2019s talking about here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s right. We are about to begin our fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaways. This week is the last opportunity <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners have to sign up for one of these upcoming events and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee\u2014you pay for yourself \/ your spouse comes free. The offer is good through the end of this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you want to take advantage of this special opportunity to attend a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> at a special rate, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Click on the link for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. There is information about when events are coming to a city near where you live. You can register online; and again, you\u2019re eligible for the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 percent discount if you sign up this week. If you have any questions about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We can register you over the phone; or again, you can register easily online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, when you are on our website, the message we heard from Gary Thomas today\u2014much of it is found in a wonderful book he has written called <em>A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, Friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage<\/em>. It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order copies from us online, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d today\u2014going out to our friends, David and Melissa Roberts, who live in Midland, Michigan. The Roberts listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on WUGN. They have been with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise \/ they\u2019ve attended <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. They help support this ministry with their financial gifts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate the Roberts and all of you who listen regularly. If today is your anniversary, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to you as well. I hope you make a big deal out of your anniversary today, because anniversaries are a big deal; and you should make them a big deal. Our goal, here at FamilyLife, is to help more couples celebrate more anniversaries, year in and year out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who help make that happen\u2014those of you who, like the Roberts, help support this ministry. You can make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can be back with us again tomorrow. We\u2019ll hear Part Two of Gary Thomas\u2019 message on what it takes to build a marriage that lasts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304166"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304166"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304166"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304166"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}