{"id":304158,"date":"2016-09-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-09-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/thinking-the-best-of-our-spouse\/"},"modified":"2016-09-06T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-09-06T15:00:00","slug":"thinking-the-best-of-our-spouse","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thinking-the-best-of-our-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"Thinking the Best of Our Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author and blogger Sheila Wray Gregoire shares what she&#8217;s learned about conflict resolution in over 20 years of marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-09-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"30M","filesize_raw":"31453613","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2088,2831],"tags":[4544,4543,4529,2877,4542],"podcast_series":[7249],"cwp_profile":[3246],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304158","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-romance-and-sex","category-wives","tag-conflict-in-marriage","tag-conflict-resolution","tag-expectations","tag-marriage","tag-peacemaker","podcast_series-9-thoughts-that-can-change-your-marriage","cwp_profile-sheila-wray-gregoire","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304158\/thinking-the-best-of-our-spouse","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304158\/thinking-the-best-of-our-spouse","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"8H3nBfKsXF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thinking-the-best-of-our-spouse\/\">Thinking the Best of Our Spouse<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thinking-the-best-of-our-spouse\/embed\/#?secret=8H3nBfKsXF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Thinking the Best of Our Spouse&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"8H3nBfKsXF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Author and blogger Sheila Wray Gregoire shares what she's learned about conflict resolution in over 20 years of marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-09-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sometimes, when couples are in conflict, the issue is not the conflict\u2014it\u2019s the way they are trying to fix the conflict. Here\u2019s author Sheila Gregoire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>We\u2019ve got to get out of this \u201cWho\u2019s right, and who\u2019s wrong?\u201d\u00a0 Normally, when we\u2019re having conflict, that\u2019s the thing\u2014we go into it, saying, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to prove I\u2019m right,\u201d or she\u2019s going to prove she\u2019s right, or whatever. As soon as you frame the issue as in \u201cWho\u2019s right and who\u2019s wrong,\u201d you\u2019ve already lost; because, if you are trying to win the argument and if you\u2019re trying to win every argument with your spouse, you\u2019re just going to be married to a loser. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, September 6<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Think back to the last time there was conflict in your marriage. Was there a way you could have changed your thinking that might have helped the conflict get resolved?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re spending some time this week talking about how we think about our marriage \/ how we think about one another; because, honestly, our thinking about each other and about marriage is going to influence how we\u2019re doing as a couple. It may be that we need to adjust our thinking. But Dennis, sometimes, the issue is not just what I\u2019m thinking or what you\u2019re thinking but what we\u2019re thinking together. Sometimes, we need some communication so our thinking can come into alignment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re talking about\u2014when you mentioned, \u201cyou\u201d\u2014it was your wife\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. When I said, \u201cour,\u201d I\u2019m talking about a husband and a wife\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014not you and me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Not you and me. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Although sometimes\u2014we\u2019ve had those times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, we have had those times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you\u2019ve been on the air for nearly a quarter of a century\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014there are those moments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have the author of brand-new book called <em>Nine Thoughts that Can Change Your Marriage<\/em>. Sheila Gregoire joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Sheila, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Oh, thank you. It\u2019s a lot of fun yesterday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; you\u2019re teaching us how to have a thinking wheel alignment \/ kind of a realignment of how we think about our spouse. You\u2019ve been married for over 25 years \/ two children\u2014have been writing on this subject for a number of years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we haven\u2019t mentioned, yet, that you and your husband also speak at FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> getaways in Canada. I just need to let our listeners know, if I can\u2014the U.S. listeners\u2014that our fall season is about to kick off in late-September. This week and next week, we\u2019re encouraging <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to register for an upcoming event. When you do, you pay for yourself at the regular rate, and your spouse comes free. It\u2019s a buy one\/get one opportunity\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014best rate we make available at any time during the year. So, now is the time to plan to join us at an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to be at one in Philadelphia in November, but we\u2019ve got them all over the country. So, plan to come be with us at one of these weekend getaways. Find out more about the buy one\/get one free opportunity when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you have any questions\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSheila, you would encourage people to go to one of these getaways?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>They are <em>awesome<\/em>. Every couple should go to one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we\u2019ve trained folks in more than 100 countries around the world in, not only the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> content, but also, small groups \/ other resources in countries that have been translated. And I just want to give a shout-out to Legacy Partners because their monthly donations make this broadcast possible all over the United States but also into Canada and into more than three dozen countries around the world, Bob.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, it\u2019s fun to hear about the different ways that people approach these weekend getaways in different countries. I think it was New Zealand where everybody shows up. The wife gets a rose when she comes to the weekend getaway. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cTheir budget is bigger than our budget.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>How about chocolate truffles?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There you go!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>I could do the chocolate truffle thing; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There you go!\u00a0 There you go!\u00a0 There you go!\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve written nine thoughts down that a wife ought to focus on and really get a perspective about so that her marriage can be stronger. A couple of them are around the subject of being a peacemaker and not a peacekeeper. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And this is where we have to be thinking on the same level or at the same time. This is not just one person\u2019s thinking that we\u2019re talking about here but how we think, as a couple; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And how we approach conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Exactly. It\u2019s how we approach conflict; because Jesus said, \u201cBlessed are the peacemakers because they\u2019ll be called children of God.\u201d\u00a0 There is a big difference between a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I think of peacekeeper, I think of two warring nations. Let\u2019s even look at Israel and Egypt, for instance. Technically, there is peace, and there has been peace since the late-70s; but it\u2019s not like an Israeli is going to feel really comfortable on the streets of Cairo or vice versa because the countries may technically be at peace, but there are <em>so<\/em> many issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a peacekeeper does is\u2014they try to keep those issues contained \/ they don\u2019t fix anything. They just keep them under the surface, where they\u2019re still bubbling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s a <em>truce<\/em> while war is still going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Exactly. Whereas I\u2019m from Canada\u2014you know Canada and the States have real peace because\u2014at least, I hope we do\u2014[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>\u2014we see each other as friends. We can certainly talk. We have so much in common. There are still differences, but they\u2019re not important. So, there is this real sense that we\u2019re on the same side. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat God calls us to is\u2014to be in unity\u2014to be of one mind \/ to share one mind and one purpose. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the problem is: \u201cIf you think your job in marriage is to keep all of those issues under the surface, you\u2019re never going to be of one mind and one purpose.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You say in the book\u2014that when we get angry, typically, the first thing that will pop into our head is: \u201cWhy is this person inconveniencing me?\u201d or \u201cWhy is this person doing something that\u2019s annoying to me?\u201d rather than a more objective: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on here?\u201d and \u201cWhat are all of the factors involved?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. And that\u2019s why the first few thoughts really are about: \u201cHow I can get my head and heart right with God,\u201d\u2014so: \u201cHow I can make sure I\u2019m thinking about my marriage right. I\u2019m realizing that God loves my husband\u2014He\u2019s not on <em>my<\/em> side\u2014and God wants my husband to flourish too.\u201d\u00a0 Let\u2019s get our <em>own<\/em> thoughts right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, then, what do you do when there actually is something big between you?\u00a0 And this is where this thought comes in about being that peacemaker, who says, \u201cOkay; right now, we\u2019re seeing things really differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThere are some problems here, but we\u2019ve got to address them and smooth them out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think a lot of women equate conflict with fighting; and those two things are <em>not<\/em> the same, necessarily. In fact, there have been studies that have shown that a marriage without conflict is actually very <em>dangerous<\/em> because it means that you\u2019re <em>not<\/em> addressing the real things that are going on between you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, explain about the time when Keith wanted to spend\u2014I think it was one night a week involved in historical battle reenactment. [Laughter] Is that what it was?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>My husband is extremely geeky, but he\u2019s geeky in a good way. He has these little, miniature soldiers; okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. <br><br><strong>Sheila: <\/strong>He paints them. Then, he gets together with friends; and they act out Civil War battles, or Ancient Roman battles, or whatever. And my husband is a pediatrician\u2014wonderful guy\u2014but very, very busy. Early in our marriage, when he was just starting his practice, he was working five days a week. He was on-call several nights a week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had two young children, and he just wanted one night a week where he could relax with some friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNormally, this doesn\u2019t sound like an insane request; but I was a stay-at-home homeschooling mom. I was also starting to write. I had a book contract, and I needed more time to write. He says, \u201cI want to spend this time with my friends\u201d; and I\u2019m thinking, \u201cYes, but when do I get to spend my time writing?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis was a <em>real<\/em> conflict for us until my husband, in his wisdom\u2014it\u2019s usually him who figures these things out before I do\u2014but he stepped back and he said: \u201cThis is ridiculous. We\u2019re fighting about something stupid. We just have a <em>time<\/em> issue, and let\u2019s look at how we can both get our needs met.\u201d He actually ended up taking some time off during the week and took the girls so that I could have some time to write. Then, he still went and played his games on Tuesday nights. That worked out wonderfully. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Played his games. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Played his games\u2014isn\u2019t that just\u2014okay; [Laughter] reenacted his battles or whatever\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re kind of laughing about this; but I have to believe today\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014with video games being what they are \/ \u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with sports\u2014especially for newly-married couples, who are trading in one lifestyle for a lifestyle of \u201cwe\u201d\u2014it may take a few years for that husband to understand: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 When you said, \u2018I do,\u2019 you were pledging your allegiance and loyalty to your bride. It may mean you have to give up some of those sports \/ some of these games in order to meet her needs.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, let me ask you about that because here\u2019s what I will often hear as a scenario for a marriage. A husband and a wife get married. The guy would like a night a week to hang out with his guy friends. The wife thinks to herself, \u201cHe doesn\u2019t want to be with me.\u201d\u00a0 She feels lonely \/ she feels devalued in that. She thinks, \u201cWhat is it that the guy friend is going to offer him that I can\u2019t offer him?\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s offended by that. Is one of them right and the other one wrong? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do they get to thinking alike on a subject like this?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, they\u2019ve got to have what Sheila is talking about here, which is an honest conversation about one another\u2019s needs. The guy needs to make sure he really <em>understands<\/em> what his wife is saying\u2014not be defensive about what he wants to go do but listen carefully\u2014maybe, even take notes. Then, attempt to articulate back to her\u2014to say: \u201cLet me tell you. This is what I hear you saying. You\u2019re feeling isolated because I\u2019m going out with the guys to a sporting event. What you need me to do is to make sure there is romance in our marriage\u2014that I\u2019m pursuing you, that I want a relationship with you, and where you\u2019re not feeling like you\u2019re left in the dust.\u201d\u00a0 Then, wait for your wife to be able to affirm, \u201cYou\u2019ve got it, sweetheart.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s very true. In fact, I think that <em>that<\/em> is the <em>main<\/em> problem with our conflict resolution model\u2014is that we don\u2019t talk about <em>needs<\/em> \/ we talk about the issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the wrong thing because\u2014and in this case, for instance\u2014if they start having an argument over whether he should spend a night with the guys or not, there is no way to win that because he\u2019s saying, \u201cI need this time with the guys,\u201d and she\u2019s saying, \u201cWell, I need you at home.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019re just arguing over who is right and who is wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs soon as you frame the issue, as in\u2014\u201cWho\u2019s right and who\u2019s wrong?\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve already lost; because, if you are trying to win the argument and if you are trying to win every argument with your spouse, you\u2019re just going to end up married to a loser; you know?\u00a0 Nobody wants want to be married to a loser. We\u2019ve got to get out of this \u201cWho\u2019s right and who\u2019s wrong?\u201d Normally, when we\u2019re having conflict, that\u2019s the thing\u2014we go into it, saying, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m going to prove I\u2019m right,\u201d or she\u2019s going to prove she\u2019s right, or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s a <em>much<\/em> better way of doing it\u2014which is what you were talking about, Dennis\u2014is sit down and say: \u201cOkay; forget the issue \/ forget the night a week. Let\u2019s just talk about what it is that I need right now.\u201d\u00a0 He can say, \u201cI need some time with the guys \/ I need some guy time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe can say, \u201cWell, I need some time with you, and I need to feel like I\u2019m the number one thing in your life.\u201d\u00a0 Then, they can each look at that and say: \u201cOkay; okay. This is good. So, you need time with guys, and you need to feel like you\u2019re the number one thing in my life. We can say, \u2018Well, how can we meet those needs?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, it\u2019s not about who\u2019s right and who\u2019s wrong; it\u2019s about: \u201cWe each have needs. So, let\u2019s brainstorm \/ let\u2019s throw out different ideas. Okay; how can I meet your needs?\u00a0 How can you meet my needs?\u201d\u00a0 And then, it\u2019s no longer this win\/lose thing\u2014it is: \u201cHow can we build each other up?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a whole different dynamic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking with Sheila Gregoire, who has written a book called <em>Nine Thoughts that Can Change Your Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I hear you saying here is: \u201cForget the details of the issue,\u201d\u2014you call it the love issue in your book\u2014you say, \u201cGet to \u2018What is the relational issue?\u2019\u2014not the presenting issue or the circumstances that brought the love issue to the surface.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Exactly; that\u2019s the number one mistake couples make\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014is that they debate that circumstance problem \/ set out a win\/lose model\u2014and then, someone is going to feel terrible instead of getting to the underlying thing: \u201cWhat is it that we are both needing right now?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s one of my favorite questions to give to a guy, who is going: \u201cI\u2019m going out on a date with my wife. Can you give me a\u2014coach me a little bit on a question or two I should ask her?\u201d\u00a0 I said: \u201cYes; but don\u2019t tell her I said to ask her this question\u2014just ask her the question. Let it be from you, and make sure you really want to hear her answer.\u201d\u00a0 The question I encourage most men to ask their wives is, \u201cSweetheart, what are your top three needs right now?\u201d\u00a0 And then, make sure you <em>understand<\/em> what the need is she\u2019s expressing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can tell you\u2014from a lot of guys who\u2019ve done that on a date with their wives\u2014there has been a lengthy discussion that\u2019s occurred that\u2019s been very healthy for their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>And I think a wife, asking a husband that, too, is so important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s something interesting\u2014I did not always know what my needs were. We can <em>think<\/em> we know what our needs are, but often we don\u2019t. So, here is another way of asking that same question\u2014say to your spouse: \u201cWhen are you most frustrated?\u00a0 When are you most angry?\u00a0 What are the biggest things that frustrate you right now?\u201d\u00a0 And often, there is a <em>link<\/em> between the things that we\u2019re frustrated about and our needs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t even realize\u2014but a big need for me is to feel safe \/ to feel like I\u2019m supported. And the times where I was often the most frustrated were the times where I felt like I was in conflict in church situations or with my job. My husband doesn\u2019t like conflict; so he would often just step back. I felt alone in that. But when I realized: \u201cOkay; wait! I\u2019m frustrated right now because I\u2019m feeling alone, and I\u2019ve got some personal baggage from my childhood which makes me scared when I\u2019m alone.\u201d\u00a0 When he realizes that\u2014\u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got to come alongside her and really support her in that,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but I didn\u2019t know that was a need of mine until we started analyzing: \u201cWhen are you most frustrated?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think men, especially, don\u2019t always know what their needs are. So, to start talking about: \u201cWhen are you most frustrated?\u00a0 When do you get most anxious?\u201d and \u201cWhat can <em>I<\/em> do to help you through that?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s where we can sometimes know what are needs are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell our listeners about Jonathan and Terri, the couple that had the house that was kind of a wreck and it was driving him crazy. Do you know who I\u2019m talking about?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Yes; okay. So, here\u2019s a couple\u2014she\u2019s got a toddler \/ she\u2019s pregnant with twins. They\u2019re going to be delivered in about two months, and she\u2019s <em>exhausted<\/em>. She\u2019s overwhelmed with the thought of, \u201cHow am I going to deal with <em>three<\/em> under the age of three?\u201d\u00a0 And her husband is thinking: \u201cOkay; now is a really good time to buy a house, because there is one that\u2019s really affordable,\u201d and \u201cWe need to get our finances right, because we\u2019re having these kids.\u201d\u00a0 The thought of moving is overwhelming to her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, here they are\u2014and they are fighting about whether or not they should move. There is no way to win that fight because they simply have different perspectives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, how are you supposed to win that?\u00a0 He\u2019s trying to prove to her that it makes financial sense to move. She\u2019s saying: \u201cI don\u2019t care that it makes financial sense to move. I\u2019m <em>exhausted<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s no way to win. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when you take a step back and say, \u201cOkay; what is it that we <em>need<\/em> right now?\u201d\u2014he can say, \u201cWell, I just need to feel like we\u2019ve got a financial plan, and that we\u2019re financially secure, and we\u2019re making good decisions.\u201d\u00a0 And she can say, \u201cWell, I need to feel like I\u2019m not going to be overwhelmed when the babies come and that I\u2019m going to get enough sleep.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, they can brainstorm together: \u201cOkay; how can we meet each other\u2019s needs?\u201d\u00a0 They may find a solution they never even thought of before\u2014you know: \u201cLet\u2019s ask friends to bring over casseroles,\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s fill the freezer, \u201cLet\u2019s get someone to come help you with the babies once a week,\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s talk to a financial guy and make a budget,\u201d\u2014whatever it might be. When you start reframing the issue so that it\u2019s not about real estate\u2014it\u2019s about emotional needs\u2014then, it\u2019s so much easier to make that peace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, you talked about, maybe, getting a financial counselor to help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think, when we get locked up in these kinds of issues\u2014this is where other couples, and community, and having the opportunity to just be transparent with somebody and say: \u201cYou know, we\u2019re missing each other here. Can you help us?\u201d\u2014oftentimes, another couple \/ some friends can say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ve been through this. Here\u2019s how it worked out for us.\u201d\u00a0 They can help unlock you from the jigsaw puzzle you\u2019re in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Right. And so, all of these things needs to be done in the spirit of: \u201cI love you,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand we\u2019re going to be honest before God. I can\u2019t try to force my rights on you, and you can\u2019t force yours on me,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cWe\u2019re going to be honest before God and really look after each other,\u201d\u2014because, yes; sometimes, there are things that someone wants that aren\u2019t legitimate\u2014and we need to say, \u201cNo, that\u2019s not\u2026\u201d\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And honestly, I think that\u2019s so important because I\u2019m thinking here: \u201cIf my focus is: \u2018What are my needs, and how can you meet them for me?\u2019 versus \u2018What are your needs, and how can I meet them for you?\u2019\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just that differentiation\u2014one is a self-centered orientation \/ the other is what Jesus said ought to be our orientation, which is, \u2018How can we love and serve another person?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the saying: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 My needs, my rights, my this \/ my that\u2014all of that is second place to \u2018How can I love and serve you, and how can I honor you in the midst of this?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what God is calling us to in marriage; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheila: <\/strong>Exactly. Part of being a <em>peacemaker<\/em>, I think, isn\u2019t just getting yourself on the same page\u2014it\u2019s getting yourself on the same page <em>under<\/em> God\u2014because you can both be perfectly united in something which is wrong. It\u2019s not always about being united. It\u2019s being united in what <em>God<\/em> wants for you. That\u2019s where\u2014when we do the top five tests, it needs to pass the sniff test. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had women come to me, saying: \u201cMy husband says that he wants total privacy. I\u2019m not ever allowed to look at his phone, and he needs me to trust him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like: \u201cOkay; that makes me a little bit nervous because \u2018What\u2019s he doing on that phone?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I really like to hear when a couple is praying together. A lot of these issues resolve themselves because, when you get two broken, selfish people bending their wills before Almighty God, He shows up. When God shows up, He can change people\u2019s hearts, minds, attitudes, and teach a couple of selfish people how to deny themselves and yield to the Holy Spirit, who lives in them, and show them how to love their spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI married a couple, this past weekend. It\u2019s really fun because you look at this new couple, starting out, and you think: \u201cThere is so much optimism, so much hope, so much looking to the future. They have no idea what\u2019s ahead of them\u201d; but you know what?\u00a0 If they are yielded to Jesus Christ, and use the Bible as their blueprints for building their marriage and family, they\u2019re going to do just fine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere will be some difficulty \/ there will be some dark valleys, but they will be able to achieve oneness in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I know you pointed them to an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway and told them that that needs to be a part of the first year of marriage for them and for every couple. And honestly, we think that the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is something that ought to be a part of the preventative maintenance cycle for every marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If it\u2019s been three or four years \/ five years since you\u2019ve been to a weekend away together, as a couple, where you focus on your marriage, you\u2019re overdue. And I mention that because we\u2019re about to kick off the fall season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, here in the United States. We start the last weekend in September and go through early December\u2014got about 40 cities where we\u2019re going to be hosting these events. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you sign up today\u2014actually this week or next week\u2014you sign up and you pay the regular rate for yourself; your spouse comes free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the best opportunity you have to sign up and save some money on a fun, romantic weekend getaway for husbands and wives. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com if you want to find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway\u2014when the conference is coming near where you live. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd be sure when you go to our website to also order a copy of Sheila Gregoire\u2019s book, <em>Nine Thoughts that Can Change Your Marriage: Because a Great Relationship Doesn\u2019t Happen by Accident<\/em>. You can order the book from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. There is a free downloadable study guide that\u2019s available. We\u2019ve got a link for that on our website, as well, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to get a copy of Sheila\u2019s book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, congratulations are in order today to Dennis and Sue Giambroni, who live in East Liverpool, Ohio, and who have been married 30 years today. The Giambronis listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on WORD out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. They\u2019ve been with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage cruise. They\u2019ve hosted an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> event, and they help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Giambronis on 30 years as husband and wife. We think that\u2019s a big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, we think all anniversaries are a big deal. We think celebrating anniversaries ought to be a big deal. We are The Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. We want you to have more anniversaries for more years to come. To help make that happen, we try to provide you with practical biblical help and hope each day on this program, on our website, through our mobile app. If you\u2019ve not downloaded the FamilyLife app for your smartphone yet, be sure to download it. We\u2019ve got resources that we make available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll that we do has that same goal in mind\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to effectively develop your marriage and your family to make it a godly marriage and family. And we appreciate folks, like the Giambronis, who help support this ministry. Your donations make <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible, and we\u2019re grateful for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, as a way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d for your donation this month, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of the new 2017 FamilyLife calendar. It\u2019s all about being an ambassador for Christ. I know some of you are thinking: \u201cIt\u2019s September. You\u2019re really sending out next year\u2019s calendar in September?\u201d\u00a0 Well, this one starts in October of \u201916. So, as soon as you get it, you can start to put it to use. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the calendar is our thank-you gift when you support the ministry, which you can do online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone; or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBox 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk some more about what we do when there is conflict in our marriage; and that happens for everybody. How do we get passed the conflict and get back to oneness?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear from Dave and Ann Wilson tomorrow, along with our friends, Jim and Carol Shores. So, I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304158"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304158"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304158"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304158"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}