{"id":304128,"date":"2016-08-15T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-08-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-did-i-do-wrong\/"},"modified":"2016-08-15T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-08-15T15:00:00","slug":"what-did-i-do-wrong","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-did-i-do-wrong\/","title":{"rendered":"What Did I Do Wrong?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Phil Waldrep reassures parents that they aren&#8217;t to blame for their child&#8217;s rebellion but there are things they can do to lower the risk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.84M","filesize_raw":"26045857","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2841,2839,2855],"tags":[4240,2209,5182,2385,4649],"podcast_series":[8157],"cwp_profile":[3212],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304128","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-attitude-problems","category-teens","tag-guilt","tag-parenting","tag-prodigal","tag-shame","tag-unconditional-love","podcast_series-reaching-your-prodigal","cwp_profile-phil-waldrep","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304128\/what-did-i-do-wrong","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304128\/what-did-i-do-wrong","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"wngMKcsucU\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-did-i-do-wrong\/\">What Did I Do Wrong?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-did-i-do-wrong\/embed\/#?secret=wngMKcsucU\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What Did I Do Wrong?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"wngMKcsucU\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-15.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-15.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the great pains for any parent is to have a son or daughter who walks away from the faith. It inevitably leaves a mom and a dad wondering, \u201cWhere did we go wrong?\u201d Here\u2019s author and speaker Phil Waldrep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>I found prodigals come from every kind of family you can list. I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any kind of correlation that I found between those who were strict and those who were not. Now I will say this\u2014I did see a little bit of a tendency in my research that, where there are rules without relationships, there often are more prodigals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Are there things we can do to keep a son or a daughter from becoming a prodigal? And if we do have a prodigal, what do we do then? We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think I\u2019ve said this over the years, but it\u2019s one of those things that has stuck with me\u20143 John, verse 4, is that great verse that says: \u201cI have no greater joy than to know that my children are walking in the truth.\u201d Of course, John was talking about his spiritual children when he wrote that, but it\u2019s even truer for parents who have biological children. When your kids are walking in the truth, there\u2019s not much better than that. I\u2019ve thought to myself: \u201cIf that\u2019s true, then the opposite has to be true as well. There may be no greater <em>pain<\/em> that a parent feels than when their child is not walking in the truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No doubt about it. In fact, I\u2019m looking at this book that we\u2019re going to talk about today. The author, Phil Waldrep, is seated across the table from me, and I\u2019m struck by the subtitle. I\u2019ll give you the title of the book in a moment, but these two questions: <em>What did I do wrong? What do I do now?<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe title of the book is <em>Reaching Your Prodigal<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhil, this is a very deep subject we\u2019re talking about here. First of all, I want to welcome you to the broadcast\u2014welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well thank you. I\u2019m honored to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have to tell our listeners how we came across you and your ministry. You give leadership to a ministry that is titled after you, Phil Waldrep Ministries. You and your wife live in Alabama. You have two grown children and now <em>two<\/em>\u2014count them\u2014two grandchildren.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; two\u2014that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We ran across this message that Phil had given. Bob, do you remember how many years ago?\u201415?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was about 15 years ago. Actually, you gave it here in Little Rock, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>I did. I was at Immanuel Baptist Church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Somebody came to me after being there and said, \u201cThis was a great message,\u201d and they brought me the cassette. That tells me how old it was because it was a cassette tape. I listened to it and shared it with Dennis. We agreed this was a message we needed to share with our listeners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree or four times, over the last [15] years, you know, you have been gracious enough to let us share this message with our listeners. Every time we share it, we hear from moms and dads who are in the midst of the pain that we\u2019re talking about here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it does resonate with people. My question that I have is\u2014what a lot of listeners are wondering: \u201cWhy did it take you 15 years to write this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well, sometimes when you write a book\u2014if you\u2019re an author, you know\u2014you start out writing and then you go back and you say, \u201cWell, I need to address this issue,\u201d or \u201cI need to address that issue.\u201d Sometimes, when you write a book, people come to you and you think, \u201cWell, I\u2019m really going to put a lot of emphasis in this area,\u201d only to discover that that doesn\u2019t resonate in the way you want it to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I probably wrote and re-wrote and worked and re-worked until finally it came to the point where I could say, \u201cI want to do this and share it with people.\u201d That\u2019s why the book has come to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You did not write this book because you and your wife had an experience in your home with a prodigal; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s very true. That\u2019s one of the questions people ask me\u2014is: \u201cWhy is this such a passion of your heart?\u201d It is because, as a traveling speaker, every week I met people who walked up to me and told me about a son, or a daughter, or a grandson\u2014and occasionally it was a brother or sister\u2014or it might be even sometimes prodigal parents, believe it or not. They would look at me and they\u2019d say: \u201cWhat did I do wrong? I mean, I took my child to church. We prayed together\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I often share is\u2014people will tell me: \u201cI have five kids. Four love God and are serving the Lord, and one has walked away.\u201d It was out of that passion to help them. Fortunately, my wife and I have not walked through that pain\u2014our two children are serving the Lord\u2014but I\u2019m very quick to say, as much as I love my daughters, they could\u2014so, none of us are above the experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No; that\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou received a letter, a number of years ago, that initially turned your heart toward this subject. What was it about that letter that got your attention and started you on this search?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well, it was a pastor\u2019s wife, actually, who wrote me the letter\u2014I had spoken in their church. As we were having lunch together, they began to share with me about their five kids. Four were involved in church and one was a prodigal. It was that pastor\u2019s wife who wrote me, really to apologize for not talking about their fourth son. Then she said to me, \u201cI remember looking at you and thinking, \u2018This man deserves an answer.\u2019\u201d She felt obligated to tell me about this fourth son who was a prodigal. But then she asked me the two questions that I have heard so many times: \u201cI really want to know, \u2018What did we do wrong?\u2019 and \u2018What do we do now?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As a result of hearing those questions, you hit your knees and God woke you up one night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>He did. You know, it was funny because I went to the Scriptures; and I searched the Scriptures to find answers to those questions. Initially, I did not find the answers I was seeking\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014now, it wasn\u2019t that they weren\u2019t there. I personally wasn\u2019t quite as clear on the subject, I imagine; and the Lord wanted me to walk the journey with some people. I would have these people ask me over and over\u2014it became a burden. I researched, and I still was at a dead end. I found myself thinking: \u201cLord, one of two things must happen. You need to remove the burden, or give me insight into the issue.\u201d Every time I tried to push it away, the Holy Spirit pushed it back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne night, I was speaking in Missouri. I finished the service and\u2014I remember this lady came up to me. She said, \u201cI feel so led to tell you about my daughter,\u201d\u2014her daughter was really away from the Lord, breaking her heart. I remember, as we were standing there, she said: \u201cI just feel so impressed to ask you two questions: \u2018What did I do wrong?\u2019 and \u2018What do I do now?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going back to my hotel room and telling the Lord, \u201cLord, one of two things must take place\u2014either You need to give me insight, or You need to remove the burden.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cLord, while You\u2019re deciding what You\u2019re going to do, I\u2019m going to bed.\u201d And I did\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I went to sleep. It was in the night the Lord woke me up and led me to contact 30 prodigals, whom I knew well \/ who I knew would be very honest with me. I sat down and I interviewed them. I told them: \u201cI\u2019m not going to preach. I\u2019m not going to offer any comments. I just want you to be honest.\u201d Some were good moral kids\u2014they weren\u2019t involved in any kind of destructive behavior, but they weren\u2019t in church. Some had all kinds of addictions. One was even incarcerated for a very serious felony. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I listened to their stories, everything I read in Scripture made sense. It was then that I think I saw the insight that I share in <em>Reaching Your Prodigal<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, as a parent, I\u2019m aware of the fact that the choices I make \/ the things I do\u2014for good or ill\u2014are marking my child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there\u2019s a prodigal in the family, I can\u2019t help but think: \u201cI must have contributed to that in some way. Maybe I don\u2019t think that \u2018If I\u2019d been perfect, that never would have happened\u2019; but I have to stop and think, \u2018Surely, there are some things I could have done differently that might have influenced my child in a different way.\u2019\u201d Do parents bear some weight when a child becomes a prodigal?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s a very good question. I think there are two aspects to that question. One aspect is: \u201cYes, parenting does affect our children.\u201d However, you can be the <em>perfect<\/em> <em>parent<\/em> and still have a child who walks away. When people look at me and say: \u201cI find that hard to believe. I think, if you do it right, your kids <em>always<\/em> grow up right,\u201d\u2014which I find, by the way, I hear that more from people who have no children than I do from people who do have children. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I look at them and I\u2019ll say: \u201cWell, let me ask you this: \u2018What did God do wrong with Adam and Eve?\u2019 and \u2018What did Jesus do wrong with Judas?\u2019 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2019What did God do wrong with the children of Israel?\u2019\u201d You can be a <em>perfect<\/em> parent, and still have a child who walks away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, we feel guilty as parents \/ we feel shame. So we don\u2019t want to sing in the choir, we don\u2019t want to teach a Bible class, we don\u2019t want to serve on a committee, we don\u2019t want to go on mission trips because we feel the waywardness of our child is causing shame; and we bear that responsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the very first thing that I want parents to understand is\u2014if they have that burden of shame and guilt, you must stop and ask the Lord, \u201cLord, what did I do wrong?\u201d If the Lord says you did nothing wrong, then walk in victory \/ don\u2019t walk in guilt because, if you feel guilty, your prodigal is going to manipulate you. I\u2019d go so far as to say the devil\u2019s going to manipulate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s going to destroy your joy and your effectiveness. Once you feel guilt, especially when you have no idea what you did wrong, the prodigal\u2014especially if they are in addictive behavior\u2014will begin to manipulate you. You will make decisions as a parent that is making the situation worse instead of better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>All of us, as parents\u2014when our kids were born, had somebody point us to the Proverb that says, \u201cTrain up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.\u201d We clung to that and said, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m going to do my best to train him up in the way he should go; and then God has to keep His end of the bargain and make sure that this kid doesn\u2019t depart from it.\u201d So now, we think, \u201cI must have done something wrong because he\u2019s departed from it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>You know, one of the things that I find interesting about that particular verse is\u2014when I began to research it, there were very few Bible scholars, especially Hebrew scholars, who told me that that was a reference to parenting in general. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019m not taking away from that interpretation\u2014because many people have it\u2014but instead, it really referred to a child having an interest and we train that child in that interest. For example: If a child loves music, you train them in music; and they will pursue if for the rest of their life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut even if we take it as a promise, I tell people: \u201cBack off for a minute and look at what the Scripture did say: \u2018Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it,\u2019 could be rendered, \u2018It will not depart from him,\u2019\u2014which I believe means that, if a child becomes a prodigal and if they walk away, there will be a constant conviction in their heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery prodigal\u2014who had wonderful Christian parents\u2014whom I\u2019ve ever interviewed, without exception, said to me: \u201cI know what I\u2019m doing wrong. My parents taught me differently.\u201d I did not have one single prodigal, whom I interviewed, blame their parents\u2014not one. Now, others I have interviewed, <em>since<\/em>, have blamed parents; but the initial 30 I interviewed did not blame their parents at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Their parents weren\u2019t perfect, but they didn\u2019t blame their parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I can tell you there\u2019s one other side to this that we\u2019re not talking about here. There is a lot about parenting that appeals to a parent\u2019s pride, thinking he or she can do a better job than his or her parents did when he was a boy or when she was a girl. But I can tell you this\u2014once you have a child, who doesn\u2019t do well for a period of time, that pride gets stripped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>It certainly does. One of the things we forget, even as Christians, is that our kids are prone to sin. We all are! We\u2019re fallen\u2014we aren\u2019t perfect! Because of our tendency to lean towards sin, the real miracle in a family of five kids and four are serving God is not, \u201cWhy is one prodigal?\u201d The real question is, \u201cWhy are four of them serving God?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the real miracle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCertainly God uses our parenting skills and what we teach; but at the same time, we must remember\u2014when we deal with our kids\u2014that they\u2019re prone to sin. Sometimes, they wander. When you go to the story of the prodigal son, which I like to call \u201cThe Story of the Wonderful Father,\u201d in Luke\u2019s Gospel, remember\u2014there\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em> in that story that says the father did anything wrong. The son just one day decided: \u201cI want to go live in a far country. Give me my inheritance. Let me go.\u201d The father did nothing wrong in that story, and yet the son walked away. So you can be the world\u2019s perfect parent and still have a child who walks away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and I just have to add this\u2014there isn\u2019t any parent who\u2019s going to do it perfectly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s cut to the chase. I mean, who in the world hasn\u2019t gotten angry with their kids or have always been there at the right moment to say the right thing in the right way at the right time? But there\u2019s something we need to remind ourselves of\u2014and that is every child has parents, who are also wayward and who also can wander, and can get off into sin as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe, as parents, just need to realize we\u2019re all broken. God\u2019s trying to work His story of redemption through all these broken people, and the family is what He forged. There isn\u2019t a perfect one in all of Scripture. There\u2019s not going to be one until we get to heaven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking with Phil Waldrep, who has written a book called <em>Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now?<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you talked with prodigals, Phil, I\u2019m just curious\u2014some parents tend to be strict and authoritarian \/ some tend to be a little more relational, permissive\u2014they let the boundaries out. Is a prodigal more likely to come from one or from the other?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>I found prodigals come from every kind of family you can list. I have prodigals I talk to\u2014and people say, \u201cWell, they\u2019re a prodigal because they come from a divorced family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo; I don\u2019t necessarily think it\u2019s any higher among single parents than I do among two parents. I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any kind of correlation that I found between those who were strict and those who were not. Now, I will say this\u2014I did see a little bit of a tendency in my research that, where there are rules without relationships, there often are more prodigals\u2014let\u2019s make that clear. But yet, at the same time, I don\u2019t know if you can say, \u201cWell, this type of parenting produces prodigals \/ this one does not.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think what I keep looking for here is what our listeners are looking for\u2014which is: \u201cIs there a preventative? Is there something I can do to <em>minimize<\/em> the risk? I want to do whatever I can do so that the odds of my child being a prodigal go down. Is there anything I can do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well, it is\u2014and that is: \u201cBe real. Be who you are. Be authentic. Don\u2019t try to be one thing to your kids that you are not in private.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I discovered was that a lot of times what does cause barriers to be erected in the lives of prodigals \/ that keep them away\u2014I don\u2019t think it causes them to walk away, but it <em>keeps<\/em> them away\u2014is a parent who cannot admit a wrong. How often have I had kids say to me: \u201cWell, you know, my dad had an affair. He\u2019s still trying to justify his affair.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I listened to those prodigals, I realized the father\u2019s inability to admit his sin was a barrier that was keeping that child away from God. One of the principles that I shared when I wrote <em>Reaching Your Prodigal<\/em> was\u2014on the one hand, you know\u2014if the Lord doesn\u2019t make it clear what we did wrong, then certainly we shouldn\u2019t walk in guilt and shame; but on the other hand, maybe we need to ask our prodigal: \u201cDid we do something that wounded them?\u201d If they tell us, \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014and I\u2019m talking about a legitimate concern\u2014then we ask for their forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll give you an example\u2014one of my friends has a son, who\u2019s a prodigal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe went to his son and he said: \u201cSon, I want to have this conversation, as your father. Did I ever do anything to wound you?\u201d He was prepared for him to try to bring up this long list of sins. The young man looked at him and he said: \u201cDad, when I was younger and I played Little League baseball, you traveled with your job. You never were at my games.\u201d Then he looked at him and he said, \u201cDad, I don\u2019t know if I can ever forgive you for that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that moment, he wanted to justify it and say: \u201cWell, we had bills to pay, and this was a great job. It was a time when the economy wasn\u2019t good\u201d; but instead, he looked at him and he said: \u201cSon, you are right. If I had it to do over, and I knew how it was affecting you, I would have taken another job.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said it was amazing\u2014in that moment, his son looked at him and said, \u201cYou admit that?\u201d He said, \u201cSure I admit that because, when I look back now, if I knew it had that kind of effect on you, I would have never taken that job\u2014certainly, wouldn\u2019t have kept that job.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, at that moment, the relationship changed for the better because his son realized the father was willing to acknowledge he made a mistake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I <em>strongly<\/em> suggest to parents, who have prodigal children\u2014it may not be a healthy conversation\u2014it will be healthy \/ it may not be an <em>easy<\/em> conversation to have because they may bring up things you haven\u2019t even <em>thought<\/em> about. Some things maybe they misunderstood\u2014maybe there\u2019s a time for explanation\u2014but I think authenticity is the one thing that we must be, as parents, with our prodigal children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it may not end in a sweet story like you just shared.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>True.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, that\u2019s a remarkable story\u2014that that son, in that moment, turned away from a hardened heart and was softened by his dad\u2019s response. There are some kids who aren\u2019t going to forgive their parents\u2014they\u2019re going to hold onto it because it justifies their behavior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you have to think that that humility and that acknowledgment that: \u201cYou know what? I messed up here. I do that,\u201d\u2014even if the child is stubborn and stiff-necked in the moment\u2014that doesn\u2019t go away. They\u2019re going to remember Mom or Dad saying: \u201cI was wrong. I\u2019m sorry. Will you forgive me?\u201d They might not do that instantly because of bitterness, or anger, or pride of their own; but I don\u2019t think that moment goes away in a child\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And all I was doing, Bob, was cautioning parents for one of those moments that it all works out. As you just said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Adjust your expectations, as a parent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. They may hear you; and it may be months \/ years before, ultimately, that relationship is reconciled. What I want the parents to know is\u2014sometimes, the race is cross-country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s true. We don\u2019t get there overnight; and sometimes, we don\u2019t have the relationship restored overnight. What I do believe happens\u2014when parents do go and sit down with prodigals, and they\u2019re willing to be honest and not defensive\u2014it does remove excuses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, they may not see it at that moment; but in the <em>mind<\/em> of that child\u2014up to that point, in their mind\u2014they\u2019ve been able to associate a parent who refuses to acknowledge wrong with their spirituality. When a parent is willing to say, \u201cYou know, I made a mistake; and I ask for your forgiveness,\u201d\u2014now, the excuse for staying away from God is taken away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey may not forgive the parent\u2014in fact, I go into detail about times when kids will say things and they refuse to forgive us\u2014but I tell parents: \u201cGive them time. Be authentic, and don\u2019t go back to being the way you were.\u201d It <em>has<\/em> to be a sincere conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is remarkable when a parent can have their child come to them and point out something that was a mistake \/ a true error\u2014a judgment error \/ a repeated error\u2014and for that parent to hear that\u2014and not justify, not defend, not push back, not get angry\u2014that, too, is a work of God in the parent\u2019s heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I would say to the parent, who may be listening to us right now and has a prodigal\u2014if you have a child who\u2019s not doing well, and you are thinking about going to them and asking the question, \u201cHave I done anything to hurt you \/ to disappoint you that is between us?\u201d\u2014you need to go prayed-up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You need to go ready to hear\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014quick to listen\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014slow to speak\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and slow to anger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it is why, Bob, a book like what Phil has written is so helpful because it helps a parent kind of count the cost and may help parents remove the log from their own eye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. It gets you in the right frame of mind, as a parent, to be able to have the kind of conversation you need to have with a son or a daughter. I\u2019m so glad because, for years, Phil, I have recommended your message on prodigals to others and shared it with so many people\u2014now, to have the book that I can pass on to a friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m grateful that you\u2019ve written the book, <em>Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now?<\/em> The two questions parents are asking. You can get a copy of the book when you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a couple of folks that we would like to say, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to today. One of them works, here, at FamilyLife\u2014Hal and Charlotte Driver are celebrating 41 years of marriage. They are on staff, here at FamilyLife\u2014Hal works in our video area. We want to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Drivers, along with Craig and Tina Rife, who life in West Union, South Carolina. They\u2019re celebrating their 35<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary today. The Rifes have been friends of this ministry for years\u2014they\u2019ve helped support the work of FamilyLife. Thank you guys for partnering with us in what we do, here at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe depend on our listeners to join with us in order for this ministry to continue to operate. I was in a meeting recently, and we were talking about the fact that we\u2019ve seen a decline in the number of people donating to FamilyLife through the first seven months of this year. First of all, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who <em>have<\/em> donated this year\u2014thanks for your support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve not made a donation this year, could we ask you to consider, before the end of August, going to FamilyLifeToday.com and making a one-time donation or consider becoming a monthly Legacy Partner? Or you can call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can also mail your donation to us\u2014our address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to hear from you. If you make a donation of $100 or more this month, we\u2019d love to send you a set of three Bible studies on marriage\u2014it\u2019s a part of our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Connect Series. Again, they\u2019re our gift to you when you help support the ministry of FamilyLife during the month of August; and we hope to hear from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow. Phil Waldrep will be here again. We\u2019ll continue our conversation about how we can best be the parent of a prodigal. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.84M"],"filesize_raw":["26045857"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304128.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304128.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Waldrep reassures parents that they aren't to blame for their child's rebellion but there are things they can do to lower the risk.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the great pains for any parent is to have a son or daughter who walks away from the faith. It inevitably leaves a mom and a dad wondering, \u201cWhere did we go wrong?\u201d Here\u2019s author and speaker Phil Waldrep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>I found prodigals come from every kind of family you can list. I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any kind of correlation that I found between those who were strict and those who were not. Now I will say this\u2014I did see a little bit of a tendency in my research that, where there are rules without relationships, there often are more prodigals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Are there things we can do to keep a son or a daughter from becoming a prodigal? And if we do have a prodigal, what do we do then? We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think I\u2019ve said this over the years, but it\u2019s one of those things that has stuck with me\u20143 John, verse 4, is that great verse that says: \u201cI have no greater joy than to know that my children are walking in the truth.\u201d Of course, John was talking about his spiritual children when he wrote that, but it\u2019s even truer for parents who have biological children. When your kids are walking in the truth, there\u2019s not much better than that. I\u2019ve thought to myself: \u201cIf that\u2019s true, then the opposite has to be true as well. There may be no greater <em>pain<\/em> that a parent feels than when their child is not walking in the truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No doubt about it. In fact, I\u2019m looking at this book that we\u2019re going to talk about today. The author, Phil Waldrep, is seated across the table from me, and I\u2019m struck by the subtitle. I\u2019ll give you the title of the book in a moment, but these two questions: <em>What did I do wrong? What do I do now?<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe title of the book is <em>Reaching Your Prodigal<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhil, this is a very deep subject we\u2019re talking about here. First of all, I want to welcome you to the broadcast\u2014welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well thank you. I\u2019m honored to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have to tell our listeners how we came across you and your ministry. You give leadership to a ministry that is titled after you, Phil Waldrep Ministries. You and your wife live in Alabama. You have two grown children and now <em>two<\/em>\u2014count them\u2014two grandchildren.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; two\u2014that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We ran across this message that Phil had given. Bob, do you remember how many years ago?\u201415?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was about 15 years ago. Actually, you gave it here in Little Rock, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>I did. I was at Immanuel Baptist Church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Somebody came to me after being there and said, \u201cThis was a great message,\u201d and they brought me the cassette. That tells me how old it was because it was a cassette tape. I listened to it and shared it with Dennis. We agreed this was a message we needed to share with our listeners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree or four times, over the last [15] years, you know, you have been gracious enough to let us share this message with our listeners. Every time we share it, we hear from moms and dads who are in the midst of the pain that we\u2019re talking about here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it does resonate with people. My question that I have is\u2014what a lot of listeners are wondering: \u201cWhy did it take you 15 years to write this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well, sometimes when you write a book\u2014if you\u2019re an author, you know\u2014you start out writing and then you go back and you say, \u201cWell, I need to address this issue,\u201d or \u201cI need to address that issue.\u201d Sometimes, when you write a book, people come to you and you think, \u201cWell, I\u2019m really going to put a lot of emphasis in this area,\u201d only to discover that that doesn\u2019t resonate in the way you want it to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I probably wrote and re-wrote and worked and re-worked until finally it came to the point where I could say, \u201cI want to do this and share it with people.\u201d That\u2019s why the book has come to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You did not write this book because you and your wife had an experience in your home with a prodigal; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s very true. That\u2019s one of the questions people ask me\u2014is: \u201cWhy is this such a passion of your heart?\u201d It is because, as a traveling speaker, every week I met people who walked up to me and told me about a son, or a daughter, or a grandson\u2014and occasionally it was a brother or sister\u2014or it might be even sometimes prodigal parents, believe it or not. They would look at me and they\u2019d say: \u201cWhat did I do wrong? I mean, I took my child to church. We prayed together\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I often share is\u2014people will tell me: \u201cI have five kids. Four love God and are serving the Lord, and one has walked away.\u201d It was out of that passion to help them. Fortunately, my wife and I have not walked through that pain\u2014our two children are serving the Lord\u2014but I\u2019m very quick to say, as much as I love my daughters, they could\u2014so, none of us are above the experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No; that\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou received a letter, a number of years ago, that initially turned your heart toward this subject. What was it about that letter that got your attention and started you on this search?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well, it was a pastor\u2019s wife, actually, who wrote me the letter\u2014I had spoken in their church. As we were having lunch together, they began to share with me about their five kids. Four were involved in church and one was a prodigal. It was that pastor\u2019s wife who wrote me, really to apologize for not talking about their fourth son. Then she said to me, \u201cI remember looking at you and thinking, \u2018This man deserves an answer.\u2019\u201d She felt obligated to tell me about this fourth son who was a prodigal. But then she asked me the two questions that I have heard so many times: \u201cI really want to know, \u2018What did we do wrong?\u2019 and \u2018What do we do now?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>As a result of hearing those questions, you hit your knees and God woke you up one night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>He did. You know, it was funny because I went to the Scriptures; and I searched the Scriptures to find answers to those questions. Initially, I did not find the answers I was seeking\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014now, it wasn\u2019t that they weren\u2019t there. I personally wasn\u2019t quite as clear on the subject, I imagine; and the Lord wanted me to walk the journey with some people. I would have these people ask me over and over\u2014it became a burden. I researched, and I still was at a dead end. I found myself thinking: \u201cLord, one of two things must happen. You need to remove the burden, or give me insight into the issue.\u201d Every time I tried to push it away, the Holy Spirit pushed it back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne night, I was speaking in Missouri. I finished the service and\u2014I remember this lady came up to me. She said, \u201cI feel so led to tell you about my daughter,\u201d\u2014her daughter was really away from the Lord, breaking her heart. I remember, as we were standing there, she said: \u201cI just feel so impressed to ask you two questions: \u2018What did I do wrong?\u2019 and \u2018What do I do now?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going back to my hotel room and telling the Lord, \u201cLord, one of two things must take place\u2014either You need to give me insight, or You need to remove the burden.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cLord, while You\u2019re deciding what You\u2019re going to do, I\u2019m going to bed.\u201d And I did\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I went to sleep. It was in the night the Lord woke me up and led me to contact 30 prodigals, whom I knew well \/ who I knew would be very honest with me. I sat down and I interviewed them. I told them: \u201cI\u2019m not going to preach. I\u2019m not going to offer any comments. I just want you to be honest.\u201d Some were good moral kids\u2014they weren\u2019t involved in any kind of destructive behavior, but they weren\u2019t in church. Some had all kinds of addictions. One was even incarcerated for a very serious felony. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I listened to their stories, everything I read in Scripture made sense. It was then that I think I saw the insight that I share in <em>Reaching Your Prodigal<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, as a parent, I\u2019m aware of the fact that the choices I make \/ the things I do\u2014for good or ill\u2014are marking my child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there\u2019s a prodigal in the family, I can\u2019t help but think: \u201cI must have contributed to that in some way. Maybe I don\u2019t think that \u2018If I\u2019d been perfect, that never would have happened\u2019; but I have to stop and think, \u2018Surely, there are some things I could have done differently that might have influenced my child in a different way.\u2019\u201d Do parents bear some weight when a child becomes a prodigal?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s a very good question. I think there are two aspects to that question. One aspect is: \u201cYes, parenting does affect our children.\u201d However, you can be the <em>perfect<\/em> <em>parent<\/em> and still have a child who walks away. When people look at me and say: \u201cI find that hard to believe. I think, if you do it right, your kids <em>always<\/em> grow up right,\u201d\u2014which I find, by the way, I hear that more from people who have no children than I do from people who do have children. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I look at them and I\u2019ll say: \u201cWell, let me ask you this: \u2018What did God do wrong with Adam and Eve?\u2019 and \u2018What did Jesus do wrong with Judas?\u2019 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2019What did God do wrong with the children of Israel?\u2019\u201d You can be a <em>perfect<\/em> parent, and still have a child who walks away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, we feel guilty as parents \/ we feel shame. So we don\u2019t want to sing in the choir, we don\u2019t want to teach a Bible class, we don\u2019t want to serve on a committee, we don\u2019t want to go on mission trips because we feel the waywardness of our child is causing shame; and we bear that responsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the very first thing that I want parents to understand is\u2014if they have that burden of shame and guilt, you must stop and ask the Lord, \u201cLord, what did I do wrong?\u201d If the Lord says you did nothing wrong, then walk in victory \/ don\u2019t walk in guilt because, if you feel guilty, your prodigal is going to manipulate you. I\u2019d go so far as to say the devil\u2019s going to manipulate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s going to destroy your joy and your effectiveness. Once you feel guilt, especially when you have no idea what you did wrong, the prodigal\u2014especially if they are in addictive behavior\u2014will begin to manipulate you. You will make decisions as a parent that is making the situation worse instead of better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>All of us, as parents\u2014when our kids were born, had somebody point us to the Proverb that says, \u201cTrain up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.\u201d We clung to that and said, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m going to do my best to train him up in the way he should go; and then God has to keep His end of the bargain and make sure that this kid doesn\u2019t depart from it.\u201d So now, we think, \u201cI must have done something wrong because he\u2019s departed from it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>You know, one of the things that I find interesting about that particular verse is\u2014when I began to research it, there were very few Bible scholars, especially Hebrew scholars, who told me that that was a reference to parenting in general. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019m not taking away from that interpretation\u2014because many people have it\u2014but instead, it really referred to a child having an interest and we train that child in that interest. For example: If a child loves music, you train them in music; and they will pursue if for the rest of their life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut even if we take it as a promise, I tell people: \u201cBack off for a minute and look at what the Scripture did say: \u2018Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it,\u2019 could be rendered, \u2018It will not depart from him,\u2019\u2014which I believe means that, if a child becomes a prodigal and if they walk away, there will be a constant conviction in their heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery prodigal\u2014who had wonderful Christian parents\u2014whom I\u2019ve ever interviewed, without exception, said to me: \u201cI know what I\u2019m doing wrong. My parents taught me differently.\u201d I did not have one single prodigal, whom I interviewed, blame their parents\u2014not one. Now, others I have interviewed, <em>since<\/em>, have blamed parents; but the initial 30 I interviewed did not blame their parents at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Interesting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Their parents weren\u2019t perfect, but they didn\u2019t blame their parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I can tell you there\u2019s one other side to this that we\u2019re not talking about here. There is a lot about parenting that appeals to a parent\u2019s pride, thinking he or she can do a better job than his or her parents did when he was a boy or when she was a girl. But I can tell you this\u2014once you have a child, who doesn\u2019t do well for a period of time, that pride gets stripped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>It certainly does. One of the things we forget, even as Christians, is that our kids are prone to sin. We all are! We\u2019re fallen\u2014we aren\u2019t perfect! Because of our tendency to lean towards sin, the real miracle in a family of five kids and four are serving God is not, \u201cWhy is one prodigal?\u201d The real question is, \u201cWhy are four of them serving God?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the real miracle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCertainly God uses our parenting skills and what we teach; but at the same time, we must remember\u2014when we deal with our kids\u2014that they\u2019re prone to sin. Sometimes, they wander. When you go to the story of the prodigal son, which I like to call \u201cThe Story of the Wonderful Father,\u201d in Luke\u2019s Gospel, remember\u2014there\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em> in that story that says the father did anything wrong. The son just one day decided: \u201cI want to go live in a far country. Give me my inheritance. Let me go.\u201d The father did nothing wrong in that story, and yet the son walked away. So you can be the world\u2019s perfect parent and still have a child who walks away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; and I just have to add this\u2014there isn\u2019t any parent who\u2019s going to do it perfectly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s cut to the chase. I mean, who in the world hasn\u2019t gotten angry with their kids or have always been there at the right moment to say the right thing in the right way at the right time? But there\u2019s something we need to remind ourselves of\u2014and that is every child has parents, who are also wayward and who also can wander, and can get off into sin as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe, as parents, just need to realize we\u2019re all broken. God\u2019s trying to work His story of redemption through all these broken people, and the family is what He forged. There isn\u2019t a perfect one in all of Scripture. There\u2019s not going to be one until we get to heaven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking with Phil Waldrep, who has written a book called <em>Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now?<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you talked with prodigals, Phil, I\u2019m just curious\u2014some parents tend to be strict and authoritarian \/ some tend to be a little more relational, permissive\u2014they let the boundaries out. Is a prodigal more likely to come from one or from the other?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>I found prodigals come from every kind of family you can list. I have prodigals I talk to\u2014and people say, \u201cWell, they\u2019re a prodigal because they come from a divorced family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo; I don\u2019t necessarily think it\u2019s any higher among single parents than I do among two parents. I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any kind of correlation that I found between those who were strict and those who were not. Now, I will say this\u2014I did see a little bit of a tendency in my research that, where there are rules without relationships, there often are more prodigals\u2014let\u2019s make that clear. But yet, at the same time, I don\u2019t know if you can say, \u201cWell, this type of parenting produces prodigals \/ this one does not.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think what I keep looking for here is what our listeners are looking for\u2014which is: \u201cIs there a preventative? Is there something I can do to <em>minimize<\/em> the risk? I want to do whatever I can do so that the odds of my child being a prodigal go down. Is there anything I can do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Well, it is\u2014and that is: \u201cBe real. Be who you are. Be authentic. Don\u2019t try to be one thing to your kids that you are not in private.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I discovered was that a lot of times what does cause barriers to be erected in the lives of prodigals \/ that keep them away\u2014I don\u2019t think it causes them to walk away, but it <em>keeps<\/em> them away\u2014is a parent who cannot admit a wrong. How often have I had kids say to me: \u201cWell, you know, my dad had an affair. He\u2019s still trying to justify his affair.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I listened to those prodigals, I realized the father\u2019s inability to admit his sin was a barrier that was keeping that child away from God. One of the principles that I shared when I wrote <em>Reaching Your Prodigal<\/em> was\u2014on the one hand, you know\u2014if the Lord doesn\u2019t make it clear what we did wrong, then certainly we shouldn\u2019t walk in guilt and shame; but on the other hand, maybe we need to ask our prodigal: \u201cDid we do something that wounded them?\u201d If they tell us, \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014and I\u2019m talking about a legitimate concern\u2014then we ask for their forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll give you an example\u2014one of my friends has a son, who\u2019s a prodigal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe went to his son and he said: \u201cSon, I want to have this conversation, as your father. Did I ever do anything to wound you?\u201d He was prepared for him to try to bring up this long list of sins. The young man looked at him and he said: \u201cDad, when I was younger and I played Little League baseball, you traveled with your job. You never were at my games.\u201d Then he looked at him and he said, \u201cDad, I don\u2019t know if I can ever forgive you for that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that moment, he wanted to justify it and say: \u201cWell, we had bills to pay, and this was a great job. It was a time when the economy wasn\u2019t good\u201d; but instead, he looked at him and he said: \u201cSon, you are right. If I had it to do over, and I knew how it was affecting you, I would have taken another job.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said it was amazing\u2014in that moment, his son looked at him and said, \u201cYou admit that?\u201d He said, \u201cSure I admit that because, when I look back now, if I knew it had that kind of effect on you, I would have never taken that job\u2014certainly, wouldn\u2019t have kept that job.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, at that moment, the relationship changed for the better because his son realized the father was willing to acknowledge he made a mistake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I <em>strongly<\/em> suggest to parents, who have prodigal children\u2014it may not be a healthy conversation\u2014it will be healthy \/ it may not be an <em>easy<\/em> conversation to have because they may bring up things you haven\u2019t even <em>thought<\/em> about. Some things maybe they misunderstood\u2014maybe there\u2019s a time for explanation\u2014but I think authenticity is the one thing that we must be, as parents, with our prodigal children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it may not end in a sweet story like you just shared.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>True.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, that\u2019s a remarkable story\u2014that that son, in that moment, turned away from a hardened heart and was softened by his dad\u2019s response. There are some kids who aren\u2019t going to forgive their parents\u2014they\u2019re going to hold onto it because it justifies their behavior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you have to think that that humility and that acknowledgment that: \u201cYou know what? I messed up here. I do that,\u201d\u2014even if the child is stubborn and stiff-necked in the moment\u2014that doesn\u2019t go away. They\u2019re going to remember Mom or Dad saying: \u201cI was wrong. I\u2019m sorry. Will you forgive me?\u201d They might not do that instantly because of bitterness, or anger, or pride of their own; but I don\u2019t think that moment goes away in a child\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And all I was doing, Bob, was cautioning parents for one of those moments that it all works out. As you just said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Adjust your expectations, as a parent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. They may hear you; and it may be months \/ years before, ultimately, that relationship is reconciled. What I want the parents to know is\u2014sometimes, the race is cross-country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>That\u2019s true. We don\u2019t get there overnight; and sometimes, we don\u2019t have the relationship restored overnight. What I do believe happens\u2014when parents do go and sit down with prodigals, and they\u2019re willing to be honest and not defensive\u2014it does remove excuses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, they may not see it at that moment; but in the <em>mind<\/em> of that child\u2014up to that point, in their mind\u2014they\u2019ve been able to associate a parent who refuses to acknowledge wrong with their spirituality. When a parent is willing to say, \u201cYou know, I made a mistake; and I ask for your forgiveness,\u201d\u2014now, the excuse for staying away from God is taken away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey may not forgive the parent\u2014in fact, I go into detail about times when kids will say things and they refuse to forgive us\u2014but I tell parents: \u201cGive them time. Be authentic, and don\u2019t go back to being the way you were.\u201d It <em>has<\/em> to be a sincere conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is remarkable when a parent can have their child come to them and point out something that was a mistake \/ a true error\u2014a judgment error \/ a repeated error\u2014and for that parent to hear that\u2014and not justify, not defend, not push back, not get angry\u2014that, too, is a work of God in the parent\u2019s heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I would say to the parent, who may be listening to us right now and has a prodigal\u2014if you have a child who\u2019s not doing well, and you are thinking about going to them and asking the question, \u201cHave I done anything to hurt you \/ to disappoint you that is between us?\u201d\u2014you need to go prayed-up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Phil: <\/strong>Exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You need to go ready to hear\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014quick to listen\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014slow to speak\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and slow to anger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it is why, Bob, a book like what Phil has written is so helpful because it helps a parent kind of count the cost and may help parents remove the log from their own eye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. It gets you in the right frame of mind, as a parent, to be able to have the kind of conversation you need to have with a son or a daughter. I\u2019m so glad because, for years, Phil, I have recommended your message on prodigals to others and shared it with so many people\u2014now, to have the book that I can pass on to a friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m grateful that you\u2019ve written the book, <em>Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now?<\/em> The two questions parents are asking. You can get a copy of the book when you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a couple of folks that we would like to say, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to today. One of them works, here, at FamilyLife\u2014Hal and Charlotte Driver are celebrating 41 years of marriage. They are on staff, here at FamilyLife\u2014Hal works in our video area. We want to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Drivers, along with Craig and Tina Rife, who life in West Union, South Carolina. They\u2019re celebrating their 35<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary today. The Rifes have been friends of this ministry for years\u2014they\u2019ve helped support the work of FamilyLife. Thank you guys for partnering with us in what we do, here at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe depend on our listeners to join with us in order for this ministry to continue to operate. I was in a meeting recently, and we were talking about the fact that we\u2019ve seen a decline in the number of people donating to FamilyLife through the first seven months of this year. First of all, we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who <em>have<\/em> donated this year\u2014thanks for your support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve not made a donation this year, could we ask you to consider, before the end of August, going to FamilyLifeToday.com and making a one-time donation or consider becoming a monthly Legacy Partner? Or you can call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can also mail your donation to us\u2014our address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to hear from you. If you make a donation of $100 or more this month, we\u2019d love to send you a set of three Bible studies on marriage\u2014it\u2019s a part of our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Connect Series. Again, they\u2019re our gift to you when you help support the ministry of FamilyLife during the month of August; and we hope to hear from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can join us back tomorrow. Phil Waldrep will be here again. We\u2019ll continue our conversation about how we can best be the parent of a prodigal. That\u2019s coming up tomorrow. Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304128"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304128"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304128"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304128"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}