{"id":304108,"date":"2016-08-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-08-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/mixed-feelings-stirred-up-by-the-empty-nest\/"},"modified":"2016-08-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-08-01T15:00:00","slug":"mixed-feelings-stirred-up-by-the-empty-nest","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mixed-feelings-stirred-up-by-the-empty-nest\/","title":{"rendered":"Mixed Feelings Stirred Up by the Empty Nest"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Barbara Rainey, Susan Yates | Series: How Empty is Your Nest? | Am I the only one who feels this way? Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates recall how they felt when they first entered this confusing, liberating, and emotion-packed stage of life called the empty nest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates recall how they felt when they first entered this confusing, liberating, and emotion-packed stage of life called the empty nest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-01.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"38.44M","filesize_raw":"40302108","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2913,2093],"tags":[4103],"podcast_series":[7675],"cwp_profile":[3052,3057],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304108","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-empty-nest-and-midlife","category-women","tag-empty-nest","podcast_series-how-empty-is-your-nest","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-susan-yates","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304108\/mixed-feelings-stirred-up-by-the-empty-nest","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304108\/mixed-feelings-stirred-up-by-the-empty-nest","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"PGZdPg7P5f\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mixed-feelings-stirred-up-by-the-empty-nest\/\">Mixed Feelings Stirred Up by the Empty Nest<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mixed-feelings-stirred-up-by-the-empty-nest\/embed\/#?secret=PGZdPg7P5f\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Mixed Feelings Stirred Up by the Empty Nest&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"PGZdPg7P5f\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-01.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-01.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There was a moment in Susan Yates\u2019 life when, as she looked at her empty nest, she started to think, \u201cWhat\u2019s my purpose anymore?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I remember the day after Libby\u2019s wedding\u2014she was the last to marry\u2014going up to the girls\u2019 room that they\u2019d grown up in \/ that they had shared their whole life. As I stood in the room, I looked around at the walls, and there were lines where the pictures had hung. There were pieces of little scraps of paper and, as I looked at these bare walls, I noticed that the closet door was ajar.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the floor of the closet I saw a rumpled, old, blue prom dress. It seemed out of place\u2014it was all alone \/ it was not needed any more. It, in a way, was out of style. As I looked at that prom dress, I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s just how I feel.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll look today at the realities that begin to set in as the nest starts to empty out. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I\u2019m just sitting here, doing the math. What\u2019s it been? It\u2019s been more than a decade, now, since you guys became empty nesters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. [Laughter] Are you going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you still trying to figure it out? [Laughter] You\u2019re kind of silent there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I told you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I guess I\u2019m a little slow on the math. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; that\u2019s not so. No; I\u2019m just trying to realize when it was when you and I finally <em>determined<\/em> we were empty nesters. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So there was this process, you\u2019re saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think there was. I think it took us two or three years to come out of\u2014how many years of childbearing and child rearing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know\u2014a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Twenty-eight, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think over twenty-eight years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think so. It doesn\u2019t happen automatically.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; I mean, it was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It was a transition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was all \u201cHands on deck!\u201d raising children. It took us awhile to get out of the mindset and to finally realize: \u201cYou know what? We can kind of enjoy each other now and focus on one another.\u201d It hadn\u2019t been that we weren\u2019t doing that before; but when you\u2019re tending to children, there\u2019s no question\u2014they drain you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our listeners are obviously aware that your wife, Barbara Rainey, is joining us today. Good to have you here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are going to be hearing a message that you and your friend, Susan Yates, did, talking about empty nest issues. But I need to start by saying we got a very nice note from one of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> donors, who wrote to say: \u201cI\u2019ve been reading Barbara\u2019s empty nest book. I was encouraged to hear about your daughter, who rebelled, to find out that we are not alone. Barbara is so right\u2014we just need to choose our words carefully and to pray, pray, pray. God is faithful and He cares about our children more than we do. Thank you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI imagine you\u2019ve heard from a lot of folks, who have read the book, who have written you personally to say, \u201cThanks for capturing in this book what we\u2019ve been living through and couldn\u2019t put words to.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ve had great feedback from women who\u2019ve read the book because they understand, by reading it, that we get it\u2014because we\u2019ve been there and we\u2019ve felt those things\u2014and we\u2019re trying to help them know that they\u2019re not alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When Barbara and Susan wrote the book, they didn\u2019t offer a \u201cpie in the sky\u201d type of picture of the empty nest. They painted it\u2014flaws, blemishes, warts, and all\u2014because it\u2019s a process that isn\u2019t necessarily neat and tidy as you raise children who become adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat this lady is referring to there, Bob, is\u2014she just appreciates somebody being authentic and real. I just want to say to this donor \/ this partner in ministry: <br>\u201cThank you for being a part of this ministry.\u201d You know, I was thinking, when you read that Bob\u2014that David, when he went to war, had his <em>mighty<\/em> men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we have a group that supports this broadcast and the ministries of FamilyLife. They\u2019re not just mighty men\u2014they\u2019re mighty men and mighty women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And they\u2019re mighty because they care about, I believe, the oldest institution in the world \/ the most powerful institution in the world. They\u2019re investing in a ministry that\u2019s bringing good to marriages and families and bringing hope to people in a culture that, frankly, is trying to undermine and do evil to families. I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who are donors to FamilyLife\u2014you\u2019re needed, you\u2019re appreciated, and God bless you and your legacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I agree\u2014\u201cThanks.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara, you and your co-author, Susan Yates, had an opportunity to speak to a number of women\u2014I think it was in Dallas; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You spoke on the subject of the empty nest. This was a number of months ago, but we\u2019re going to give our listeners an opportunity to hear what you and Susan shared with those women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll just dive right in. Here are Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates, talking about the issues women face as they face the empty nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recording]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Susan and I have discovered, on this journey, that all of us are asking the same questions. They boil down to four questions. The first one is: \u201cAm I the only one who feels this way?\u201d I remember thinking that and feeling that, after my youngest left. It\u2019s a very common emotion for us in the empty nest. Most empty nesters feel that they are the only one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the big ones for us \/ for both of us was loneliness\u2014because the house is empty and it\u2019s quiet. We\u2019re not used to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Well, one of the things that we have found in talking to many women is that this season is very complex, and it\u2019s really diverse\u2014it\u2019s just plain messy! You know, when we were mothers of young children, we went through many of the similar challenges\u2014learning to share, back-talk, potty training\u2014but it had sort of a beginning and an ending. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen as we hit the teen years, we went through similar challenges; but you get to the empty nest, and it\u2019s just messier. It hits us at different times\u2014it hit both Barbara and me at different times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when it hit me\u2014I have a vivid picture. Our kids all married young. They graduated from college in a period of seven years, and most of them got married right after college. So, I never had a chance to really <em>adjust<\/em> to the empty nest because, as our third child was graduating from high school to go off to the university, our first child was getting married within a one-week period of time. I was overwhelmed! So it wasn\u2019t, for me, until our last daughter \/ one of the twins got married\u2014our twins got married within six weeks of each other. So that was a crazy summer! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And they\u2019re girls! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan: <\/strong>Yes! I remember the day after Libby\u2019s wedding\u2014she was the last to marry\u2014going up to the girls\u2019 room that they\u2019d grown up in \/ that they\u2019d shared their whole life. Susie and her husband, who had been married for six weeks, were packing up the U-Haul<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> to empty everything else that was left in the room. As I stood in the room, I looked around at the walls; and there were lines where the pictures had hung. You know, there were pieces of little scraps of paper, but otherwise the room was bare. As that truck pulled out of the driveway, with my last child off to her new life, I just sort of dissolved into tears and crumpled on the floor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I looked at these bare walls, I noticed that the closet door was ajar. On the floor of the closet, I saw a rumpled, old, blue prom dress. It seemed out of place\u2014it was all alone \/ it was not needed anymore\u2014it, in a way, was out of style. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I looked at that prom dress, I thought: \u201cThat\u2019s just how I feel. I\u2019m not needed anymore. I\u2019m a little out of style.\u201d I remember just sobbing; and so, for me, that was a real \u201cOh, me! This really is the empty nest!\u201d as all of my children were finally married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, all of us will experience different things as we hit the empty nest. As Barbara and Dennis experienced the beginnings of the empty nest, they experienced it with some real heartache.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we did. As we began the empty nest season, we were in a season of suffering as parents. One of our daughters chose to rebel\u2014she became a prodigal. She rebelled in some pretty serious, life-altering ways. We had sort of been dealing with some of her issues through high school, and we were doing everything that we could think of to help her. It seemed like, at times, things were working; but when she hit her senior year, things really began to unravel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe found ourselves in a really difficult season as that year progressed. She was involved with an eating disorder, and she began to experiment with alcohol and drugs. Our life, as a family, just began to spiral\u2014it really affected us and our marriage. Here we are\u2014entering or approaching the empty nest\u2014we weren\u2019t there yet, but this was the way we entered our empty nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe spent her senior year, watching other families do proms, and graduation ceremonies, and all these wonderful senior activities. We were wondering where our daughter was: \u201cWhere was she spending the night?\u201d It was such a time of heartache and loss for us when it should be a joyous, wonderful season of life. We were in a very vulnerable place in our marriage and in our family because of this great suffering that we were experiencing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went through that season, and there were two things that were very important for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne was a small group of friends\u2014and it was just really a couple of couples, who stood with us and prayed for us, even when we didn\u2019t know if they were praying\u2014there were many times that we didn\u2019t even see them\u2014but they had committed to pray for us through this difficult time in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing that really got me through that season of life was God\u2019s Word. I remember I had the verse\u2014James 1, verses 2-8\u2014written out on a card. I taped that card to my steering wheel, and it must have been there for two or three months. When I would get in my car and something dramatic had happened or something was really weighing on my heart for my daughter, I remember driving down the street, saying that out loud, over and over again, because there was <em>nothing<\/em> else that I could hang onto.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNothing else seemed stable in my life except God\u2019s Word. Those two things really got us through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve learned that the empty nest is a season of great change. And one of the most important things for navigating the season of the empty nest is friendships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve learned a lot about friendships in the last few years as we\u2019ve worked on this and how important it is for us, as women, to have some good friends who can stand with us in the journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> One of the main things that we\u2019ve found\u2014as we\u2019ve talked to other women and as we\u2019ve been honest with each other\u2014is how lonely we are. You know, for many of us, when we were mothers of young children, we were <em>desperate<\/em> to be with another mother of young children just so we could complete a sentence because we felt like our brain had fried. [Laughter] So we sought out other women, and we went to women\u2019s groups, and MOPS groups, and had play dates. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then what happens, often, is you hit those teen years. You find that you put your girlfriend relationships on hold a little bit because you want to savor those years with your teenagers. Well, in our book, we talk quite a bit about this. We also give several keys to how to begin to reconnect with other girlfriends\u2014I\u2019m going to give you three of them. The first one is simply pray: \u201cGod, make me a good friend to others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk God to lead you to one or two other women, who would become soul sisters \/ who would be of encouragement to you. And then, secondly, take the first step. Actually write down a list of three to five women that you would like to get to know at a deeper level. Call them up, ask them to go for a walk, or meet you at Starbucks for coffee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA third key is simply to be persistent. So you didn\u2019t really click with that girl you went for a walk with or you had a hard time sort of conversing at Starbucks\u2014simply call up another one. Keep going! Keep taking the initiative. [Laughter] God, in time, will bring to you a good girlfriend. [Laughter] But it\u2019s scary; isn\u2019t it? It\u2019s scary to take that first step. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur first question is really to give us each a little bit of relief\u2014our first question is: \u201cAm I the only one who feels this way?\u201d And the answer is: \u201cMost definitely, \u2018No!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> The second question that is on your outline is: \u201cWhat is happening to my relationships?\u201d You know, as we enter the empty nest\u2014and we sort of have been feeling this as our kids become teenagers\u2014but our relationships are changing. We\u2019ve learned that our marriages are in different places. My marriage was <em>very<\/em> different as we approached the empty nest than it was when we began our marriage. We were two very different people after twenty-five \/ thirty years than we were when we started. So the key word for this is \u201crenegotiate.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of us are going to have to renegotiate our relationships. First, our marriage has to be renegotiated and redefined. Secondly, our relationships with our kids have to be renegotiated and redefined because they are now becoming their own person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> You know, as Barbara mentioned, she and Dennis had adjustments as they went into this season. So did Johnny and I; but we have also discovered that <em>most<\/em> women do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> And that\u2019s one of the big things we fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to read to you just from two different scenarios that perhaps you can relate to from a chapter that we did on \u201cHow Do I Relate to My Husband Now?\u201d These are two stories that are true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBess and Gary couldn\u2019t wait for the empty nest. Raising their kids had been tough. They\u2019d had different approaches to discipline, they had struggled on a tight budget, and they\u2019d postponed many of their dreams in order to be with their kids. Now, the last one was leaving and they felt they\u2019d done the best they could. Finally, they were about to be free from the daily stresses of parenting. They were excited! They couldn\u2019t wait for it to be \u201cjust us\u201d again<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShelly\u2019s situation was just the opposite\u2014she poured her life into her kids\u2014they had come first. Now, as the last child got ready to leave, she was scared \/ really scared: \u201cI don\u2019t even feel like I know my husband. I haven\u2019t been alone with him since I was 26. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOur whole life has revolved around the kids. Now, what will we talk about at the dinner table? What we will do on weekends? I don\u2019t even know if I have the energy left to put into this relationship, and I don\u2019t know if I want to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo very realistic pictures of what we face in this new season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, as Johnny and I walked into the empty nest, I needed to be aware that I could put undue pressure on my husband. That\u2019s one trap I could fall in. On the other end of the spectrum, I could easily fall into this trap: \u201cWell, now that the children are gone, he\u2019s just going to work longer at the office. He\u2019s going to take on more projects. I\u2019ll just get involved in more of the things I\u2019m involved in. We\u2019ll just get busier and busier, and we\u2019ll pass in the night when it\u2019s convenient.\u201d I realized that was equally as dangerous because I could become emotionally disengaged, and that would only lead to isolation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was really helpful to me to recognize these two extremes\u2014but you know\u2014not only does our marriage need to be renegotiated, but also our relationship with our adult children is going to change. Picture with me, for a moment, a seesaw. You know how, when you were little, you get on a seesaw with a friend\u2014and part of the fun of the seesaw was one of you had to move in, who was a little bit heavier, and the lighter one had to move out so you could balance in mid-air? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKeep that picture in mind for a minute because I think, as moms, we have two tendencies as we release our adult children. On one end of the seesaw is the helicopter parent, and on the other end of the seesaw is the hands-off parent. Now, the helicopter parent is the parent that is perhaps a little too involved with her child. She\u2019s on the phone: \u201cDid you get to class on time?\u201d \u201cWhat are you going to wear?\u201d and <br>\u201cWhat are your plans for the weekend?\u201d and \u201cOh, are you eating right?\u201d and \u201cTell me who your friends are.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe child may be on the phone, throughout the day, dumping on mom, which gets mom all upset. Five minutes after the child has dumped, she\u2019s fine; and mom is leveled for the rest of the day. [Laughter] It\u2019s very easy for us to micro-manage our children from a distance. That\u2019s the role of the helicopter parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe hands-off parent, on the other hand, is one that says: \u201cOut of sight \/ out of mind,\u201d\u2014sort of: \u201cI\u2019ve raised this child to be independent. They need to know that I have confidence in them. I am not going to call them.\u201d As a friend of mine, who just sent her first off to college this year, said, \u201cWe\u2019re not allowed to call him for the first three weeks.\u201d Now, she is a chronic hands-off parent\u2014doesn\u2019t know his class schedule, doesn\u2019t know who his friends are, and wants to give him space so that he can become his own man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me quickly say that both the helicopter parent and the hands-off parent love their child \/ they want that child to be secure. So, in our book, we talk in greater detail about these two tendencies and give several practical helps on how you can seek to balance that seesaw. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo our first two questions are: \u201cWhat is happening to me? Am I the only one who feels this way?\u201d and secondly, \u201cWhat is happening to my relationships?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, there are two words that I want you to remember. The first one is, \u201cintentional.\u201d Become intentional in your marriage relationship and in key friendships. The second word that\u2019s key is \u201cflexible.\u201d Become flexible in your relationship with your children because it\u2019s changing. You need to adjust to what your child needs and to find out the best way to relate to your child. So become intentional and become flexible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve been listening to Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates addressing a number of moms\u2014most of whom either were just into the empty nest or headed in that direction. I imagine you saw a lot of heads nodding as you spoke that night. Do you remember that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we did. We got some great feedback. But the story that I remember the most was a young Asian woman, who came up. I could tell by looking at her she wasn\u2019t an empty nester. I started talking to her, and she\u2019s got three young kids. She said, \u201cI wanted to come hear what you had to say and get your book because I want to understand what my mom\u2019s going through.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just so taken aback that this young woman cared enough about her mother to want to understand where her mother was in life. I was so impressed \/ I still am impressed that she was willing to do that because she was the only one in there who wasn\u2019t an empty nester or about to be. Most of the women had teenagers or kids who were already gone\u2014so I was impressed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget when we were meeting together with some of our friends\u2014all ladies about the same age\u2014and we asked them, \u201cOkay, tell us the most important things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, yes. We were about to go in the empty nest, and these women were all ahead of us\u2014they and their husbands; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and there were these blank looks on their faces: \u201cWe haven\u2019t talked about it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cWe haven\u2019t learned anything.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWhat do you mean you and Dennis are talking about it? What are you learning?\u201d So it just points out the need that husbands and wives really need to own this and talk about it together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, at the end of each chapter in the book, you\u2019ve got questions. One of the questions, at the end of Chapter 5, is: \u201cSet aside a date to begin discussing your expectations of each other in this new season. Also, plan for some times of fun for just the two of you; and if you\u2019re highly motivated, begin to talk together about your vision for the future\u2014about what mission you might want to work on, as a couple.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou really are, in this book\u2014you and Susan together\u2014mentoring women as they approach the onset of the empty nest and as they enter in to those early years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because this is a significant life transition for somebody, who for at least \/ almost two decades, has been functioning in the role of mother. Now, that part of her job is about to change in a pretty dramatic way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Barbara and Susan\u2019s Guide to the Empty Nest, <\/em>in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If you know somebody who is about to enter that season\u2014maybe it\u2019s you or maybe the season is still a year or two in front of you\u2014get a copy of this book. It will help you be spiritually and emotionally prepared for the empty nest when it arrives; and it will help you navigate this chapter of life if this is where you find yourself right now. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, here at the start of a new month, we\u2019ve got a couple of anniversaries we want to acknowledge. David and Tanisha Lawrence are celebrating their fifth anniversary today. They live in Lynn, Massachusetts. And we also want to say, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to our friends, Terry and Cindy Fahy, who live in Los Angeles. Terry is the General Manager at KKLA in Los Angeles. He and Cindy have been married 35 years today, and they are alumni of the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Fahys and to the Lawrences. We hope your day is a great day as you celebrate your anniversaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think anniversaries are a big deal and that we ought to be celebrating longevity, and commitment, and faithfulness in a marriage relationship. We are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. In fact, last week, we celebrated our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got staff and friends together and spent some time reflecting on God\u2019s faithfulness over 40 years, as we have sought to provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families over the last four decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we had a number of people, last week, who wished us a happy anniversary with an anniversary donation. In fact, I noticed a number of $40 donations came through last week, and that was encouraging to see. We want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who have helped support the ministry over the years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to hear from you. If your donation is $100 or more, we have a thank-you gift we\u2019d like to send you. It\u2019s a set of three study guides from our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Connect Series\u2014all designed to help you, as a couple. You can go through these, as husband and wife; or you can get with other couples and engage with them in helping to build stronger, healthier marriages. Find out more when you give, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to us at <em>Family Life Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about why it\u2019s important for a mom to maybe take a break when she reaches the empty nest\u2014maybe a little season of rest there. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["38.44M"],"filesize_raw":["40302108"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304108.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304108.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Rainey and Susan Yates recall how they felt when they first entered this confusing, liberating, and emotion-packed stage of life called the empty nest.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-08-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There was a moment in Susan Yates\u2019 life when, as she looked at her empty nest, she started to think, \u201cWhat\u2019s my purpose anymore?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> I remember the day after Libby\u2019s wedding\u2014she was the last to marry\u2014going up to the girls\u2019 room that they\u2019d grown up in \/ that they had shared their whole life. As I stood in the room, I looked around at the walls, and there were lines where the pictures had hung. There were pieces of little scraps of paper and, as I looked at these bare walls, I noticed that the closet door was ajar.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the floor of the closet I saw a rumpled, old, blue prom dress. It seemed out of place\u2014it was all alone \/ it was not needed any more. It, in a way, was out of style. As I looked at that prom dress, I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s just how I feel.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll look today at the realities that begin to set in as the nest starts to empty out. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I\u2019m just sitting here, doing the math. What\u2019s it been? It\u2019s been more than a decade, now, since you guys became empty nesters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. [Laughter] Are you going to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you still trying to figure it out? [Laughter] You\u2019re kind of silent there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I told you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I guess I\u2019m a little slow on the math. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; that\u2019s not so. No; I\u2019m just trying to realize when it was when you and I finally <em>determined<\/em> we were empty nesters. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So there was this process, you\u2019re saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think there was. I think it took us two or three years to come out of\u2014how many years of childbearing and child rearing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know\u2014a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Twenty-eight, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> I think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think over twenty-eight years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think so. It doesn\u2019t happen automatically.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No; I mean, it was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> It was a transition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It was all \u201cHands on deck!\u201d raising children. It took us awhile to get out of the mindset and to finally realize: \u201cYou know what? We can kind of enjoy each other now and focus on one another.\u201d It hadn\u2019t been that we weren\u2019t doing that before; but when you\u2019re tending to children, there\u2019s no question\u2014they drain you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our listeners are obviously aware that your wife, Barbara Rainey, is joining us today. Good to have you here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are going to be hearing a message that you and your friend, Susan Yates, did, talking about empty nest issues. But I need to start by saying we got a very nice note from one of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> donors, who wrote to say: \u201cI\u2019ve been reading Barbara\u2019s empty nest book. I was encouraged to hear about your daughter, who rebelled, to find out that we are not alone. Barbara is so right\u2014we just need to choose our words carefully and to pray, pray, pray. God is faithful and He cares about our children more than we do. Thank you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI imagine you\u2019ve heard from a lot of folks, who have read the book, who have written you personally to say, \u201cThanks for capturing in this book what we\u2019ve been living through and couldn\u2019t put words to.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ve had great feedback from women who\u2019ve read the book because they understand, by reading it, that we get it\u2014because we\u2019ve been there and we\u2019ve felt those things\u2014and we\u2019re trying to help them know that they\u2019re not alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When Barbara and Susan wrote the book, they didn\u2019t offer a \u201cpie in the sky\u201d type of picture of the empty nest. They painted it\u2014flaws, blemishes, warts, and all\u2014because it\u2019s a process that isn\u2019t necessarily neat and tidy as you raise children who become adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat this lady is referring to there, Bob, is\u2014she just appreciates somebody being authentic and real. I just want to say to this donor \/ this partner in ministry: <br>\u201cThank you for being a part of this ministry.\u201d You know, I was thinking, when you read that Bob\u2014that David, when he went to war, had his <em>mighty<\/em> men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we have a group that supports this broadcast and the ministries of FamilyLife. They\u2019re not just mighty men\u2014they\u2019re mighty men and mighty women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And they\u2019re mighty because they care about, I believe, the oldest institution in the world \/ the most powerful institution in the world. They\u2019re investing in a ministry that\u2019s bringing good to marriages and families and bringing hope to people in a culture that, frankly, is trying to undermine and do evil to families. I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who are donors to FamilyLife\u2014you\u2019re needed, you\u2019re appreciated, and God bless you and your legacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I agree\u2014\u201cThanks.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara, you and your co-author, Susan Yates, had an opportunity to speak to a number of women\u2014I think it was in Dallas; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You spoke on the subject of the empty nest. This was a number of months ago, but we\u2019re going to give our listeners an opportunity to hear what you and Susan shared with those women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll just dive right in. Here are Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates, talking about the issues women face as they face the empty nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recording]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Susan and I have discovered, on this journey, that all of us are asking the same questions. They boil down to four questions. The first one is: \u201cAm I the only one who feels this way?\u201d I remember thinking that and feeling that, after my youngest left. It\u2019s a very common emotion for us in the empty nest. Most empty nesters feel that they are the only one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the big ones for us \/ for both of us was loneliness\u2014because the house is empty and it\u2019s quiet. We\u2019re not used to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> Well, one of the things that we have found in talking to many women is that this season is very complex, and it\u2019s really diverse\u2014it\u2019s just plain messy! You know, when we were mothers of young children, we went through many of the similar challenges\u2014learning to share, back-talk, potty training\u2014but it had sort of a beginning and an ending. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen as we hit the teen years, we went through similar challenges; but you get to the empty nest, and it\u2019s just messier. It hits us at different times\u2014it hit both Barbara and me at different times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when it hit me\u2014I have a vivid picture. Our kids all married young. They graduated from college in a period of seven years, and most of them got married right after college. So, I never had a chance to really <em>adjust<\/em> to the empty nest because, as our third child was graduating from high school to go off to the university, our first child was getting married within a one-week period of time. I was overwhelmed! So it wasn\u2019t, for me, until our last daughter \/ one of the twins got married\u2014our twins got married within six weeks of each other. So that was a crazy summer! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> And they\u2019re girls! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan: <\/strong>Yes! I remember the day after Libby\u2019s wedding\u2014she was the last to marry\u2014going up to the girls\u2019 room that they\u2019d grown up in \/ that they\u2019d shared their whole life. Susie and her husband, who had been married for six weeks, were packing up the U-Haul<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> to empty everything else that was left in the room. As I stood in the room, I looked around at the walls; and there were lines where the pictures had hung. You know, there were pieces of little scraps of paper, but otherwise the room was bare. As that truck pulled out of the driveway, with my last child off to her new life, I just sort of dissolved into tears and crumpled on the floor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I looked at these bare walls, I noticed that the closet door was ajar. On the floor of the closet, I saw a rumpled, old, blue prom dress. It seemed out of place\u2014it was all alone \/ it was not needed anymore\u2014it, in a way, was out of style. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I looked at that prom dress, I thought: \u201cThat\u2019s just how I feel. I\u2019m not needed anymore. I\u2019m a little out of style.\u201d I remember just sobbing; and so, for me, that was a real \u201cOh, me! This really is the empty nest!\u201d as all of my children were finally married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, all of us will experience different things as we hit the empty nest. As Barbara and Dennis experienced the beginnings of the empty nest, they experienced it with some real heartache.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we did. As we began the empty nest season, we were in a season of suffering as parents. One of our daughters chose to rebel\u2014she became a prodigal. She rebelled in some pretty serious, life-altering ways. We had sort of been dealing with some of her issues through high school, and we were doing everything that we could think of to help her. It seemed like, at times, things were working; but when she hit her senior year, things really began to unravel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe found ourselves in a really difficult season as that year progressed. She was involved with an eating disorder, and she began to experiment with alcohol and drugs. Our life, as a family, just began to spiral\u2014it really affected us and our marriage. Here we are\u2014entering or approaching the empty nest\u2014we weren\u2019t there yet, but this was the way we entered our empty nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe spent her senior year, watching other families do proms, and graduation ceremonies, and all these wonderful senior activities. We were wondering where our daughter was: \u201cWhere was she spending the night?\u201d It was such a time of heartache and loss for us when it should be a joyous, wonderful season of life. We were in a very vulnerable place in our marriage and in our family because of this great suffering that we were experiencing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went through that season, and there were two things that were very important for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne was a small group of friends\u2014and it was just really a couple of couples, who stood with us and prayed for us, even when we didn\u2019t know if they were praying\u2014there were many times that we didn\u2019t even see them\u2014but they had committed to pray for us through this difficult time in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing that really got me through that season of life was God\u2019s Word. I remember I had the verse\u2014James 1, verses 2-8\u2014written out on a card. I taped that card to my steering wheel, and it must have been there for two or three months. When I would get in my car and something dramatic had happened or something was really weighing on my heart for my daughter, I remember driving down the street, saying that out loud, over and over again, because there was <em>nothing<\/em> else that I could hang onto.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNothing else seemed stable in my life except God\u2019s Word. Those two things really got us through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve learned that the empty nest is a season of great change. And one of the most important things for navigating the season of the empty nest is friendships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve learned a lot about friendships in the last few years as we\u2019ve worked on this and how important it is for us, as women, to have some good friends who can stand with us in the journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> One of the main things that we\u2019ve found\u2014as we\u2019ve talked to other women and as we\u2019ve been honest with each other\u2014is how lonely we are. You know, for many of us, when we were mothers of young children, we were <em>desperate<\/em> to be with another mother of young children just so we could complete a sentence because we felt like our brain had fried. [Laughter] So we sought out other women, and we went to women\u2019s groups, and MOPS groups, and had play dates. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then what happens, often, is you hit those teen years. You find that you put your girlfriend relationships on hold a little bit because you want to savor those years with your teenagers. Well, in our book, we talk quite a bit about this. We also give several keys to how to begin to reconnect with other girlfriends\u2014I\u2019m going to give you three of them. The first one is simply pray: \u201cGod, make me a good friend to others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk God to lead you to one or two other women, who would become soul sisters \/ who would be of encouragement to you. And then, secondly, take the first step. Actually write down a list of three to five women that you would like to get to know at a deeper level. Call them up, ask them to go for a walk, or meet you at Starbucks for coffee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA third key is simply to be persistent. So you didn\u2019t really click with that girl you went for a walk with or you had a hard time sort of conversing at Starbucks\u2014simply call up another one. Keep going! Keep taking the initiative. [Laughter] God, in time, will bring to you a good girlfriend. [Laughter] But it\u2019s scary; isn\u2019t it? It\u2019s scary to take that first step. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur first question is really to give us each a little bit of relief\u2014our first question is: \u201cAm I the only one who feels this way?\u201d And the answer is: \u201cMost definitely, \u2018No!\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> The second question that is on your outline is: \u201cWhat is happening to my relationships?\u201d You know, as we enter the empty nest\u2014and we sort of have been feeling this as our kids become teenagers\u2014but our relationships are changing. We\u2019ve learned that our marriages are in different places. My marriage was <em>very<\/em> different as we approached the empty nest than it was when we began our marriage. We were two very different people after twenty-five \/ thirty years than we were when we started. So the key word for this is \u201crenegotiate.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of us are going to have to renegotiate our relationships. First, our marriage has to be renegotiated and redefined. Secondly, our relationships with our kids have to be renegotiated and redefined because they are now becoming their own person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> You know, as Barbara mentioned, she and Dennis had adjustments as they went into this season. So did Johnny and I; but we have also discovered that <em>most<\/em> women do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Susan:<\/strong> And that\u2019s one of the big things we fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to read to you just from two different scenarios that perhaps you can relate to from a chapter that we did on \u201cHow Do I Relate to My Husband Now?\u201d These are two stories that are true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBess and Gary couldn\u2019t wait for the empty nest. Raising their kids had been tough. They\u2019d had different approaches to discipline, they had struggled on a tight budget, and they\u2019d postponed many of their dreams in order to be with their kids. Now, the last one was leaving and they felt they\u2019d done the best they could. Finally, they were about to be free from the daily stresses of parenting. They were excited! They couldn\u2019t wait for it to be \u201cjust us\u201d again<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShelly\u2019s situation was just the opposite\u2014she poured her life into her kids\u2014they had come first. Now, as the last child got ready to leave, she was scared \/ really scared: \u201cI don\u2019t even feel like I know my husband. I haven\u2019t been alone with him since I was 26. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOur whole life has revolved around the kids. Now, what will we talk about at the dinner table? What we will do on weekends? I don\u2019t even know if I have the energy left to put into this relationship, and I don\u2019t know if I want to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo very realistic pictures of what we face in this new season. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, as Johnny and I walked into the empty nest, I needed to be aware that I could put undue pressure on my husband. That\u2019s one trap I could fall in. On the other end of the spectrum, I could easily fall into this trap: \u201cWell, now that the children are gone, he\u2019s just going to work longer at the office. He\u2019s going to take on more projects. I\u2019ll just get involved in more of the things I\u2019m involved in. We\u2019ll just get busier and busier, and we\u2019ll pass in the night when it\u2019s convenient.\u201d I realized that was equally as dangerous because I could become emotionally disengaged, and that would only lead to isolation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was really helpful to me to recognize these two extremes\u2014but you know\u2014not only does our marriage need to be renegotiated, but also our relationship with our adult children is going to change. Picture with me, for a moment, a seesaw. You know how, when you were little, you get on a seesaw with a friend\u2014and part of the fun of the seesaw was one of you had to move in, who was a little bit heavier, and the lighter one had to move out so you could balance in mid-air? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKeep that picture in mind for a minute because I think, as moms, we have two tendencies as we release our adult children. On one end of the seesaw is the helicopter parent, and on the other end of the seesaw is the hands-off parent. Now, the helicopter parent is the parent that is perhaps a little too involved with her child. She\u2019s on the phone: \u201cDid you get to class on time?\u201d \u201cWhat are you going to wear?\u201d and <br>\u201cWhat are your plans for the weekend?\u201d and \u201cOh, are you eating right?\u201d and \u201cTell me who your friends are.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe child may be on the phone, throughout the day, dumping on mom, which gets mom all upset. Five minutes after the child has dumped, she\u2019s fine; and mom is leveled for the rest of the day. [Laughter] It\u2019s very easy for us to micro-manage our children from a distance. That\u2019s the role of the helicopter parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe hands-off parent, on the other hand, is one that says: \u201cOut of sight \/ out of mind,\u201d\u2014sort of: \u201cI\u2019ve raised this child to be independent. They need to know that I have confidence in them. I am not going to call them.\u201d As a friend of mine, who just sent her first off to college this year, said, \u201cWe\u2019re not allowed to call him for the first three weeks.\u201d Now, she is a chronic hands-off parent\u2014doesn\u2019t know his class schedule, doesn\u2019t know who his friends are, and wants to give him space so that he can become his own man. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me quickly say that both the helicopter parent and the hands-off parent love their child \/ they want that child to be secure. So, in our book, we talk in greater detail about these two tendencies and give several practical helps on how you can seek to balance that seesaw. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo our first two questions are: \u201cWhat is happening to me? Am I the only one who feels this way?\u201d and secondly, \u201cWhat is happening to my relationships?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes, there are two words that I want you to remember. The first one is, \u201cintentional.\u201d Become intentional in your marriage relationship and in key friendships. The second word that\u2019s key is \u201cflexible.\u201d Become flexible in your relationship with your children because it\u2019s changing. You need to adjust to what your child needs and to find out the best way to relate to your child. So become intentional and become flexible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve been listening to Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates addressing a number of moms\u2014most of whom either were just into the empty nest or headed in that direction. I imagine you saw a lot of heads nodding as you spoke that night. Do you remember that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Yes; we did. We got some great feedback. But the story that I remember the most was a young Asian woman, who came up. I could tell by looking at her she wasn\u2019t an empty nester. I started talking to her, and she\u2019s got three young kids. She said, \u201cI wanted to come hear what you had to say and get your book because I want to understand what my mom\u2019s going through.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just so taken aback that this young woman cared enough about her mother to want to understand where her mother was in life. I was so impressed \/ I still am impressed that she was willing to do that because she was the only one in there who wasn\u2019t an empty nester or about to be. Most of the women had teenagers or kids who were already gone\u2014so I was impressed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ll never forget when we were meeting together with some of our friends\u2014all ladies about the same age\u2014and we asked them, \u201cOkay, tell us the most important things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Oh, yes. We were about to go in the empty nest, and these women were all ahead of us\u2014they and their husbands; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and there were these blank looks on their faces: \u201cWe haven\u2019t talked about it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> \u201cWe haven\u2019t learned anything.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWhat do you mean you and Dennis are talking about it? What are you learning?\u201d So it just points out the need that husbands and wives really need to own this and talk about it together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In fact, at the end of each chapter in the book, you\u2019ve got questions. One of the questions, at the end of Chapter 5, is: \u201cSet aside a date to begin discussing your expectations of each other in this new season. Also, plan for some times of fun for just the two of you; and if you\u2019re highly motivated, begin to talk together about your vision for the future\u2014about what mission you might want to work on, as a couple.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou really are, in this book\u2014you and Susan together\u2014mentoring women as they approach the onset of the empty nest and as they enter in to those early years\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because this is a significant life transition for somebody, who for at least \/ almost two decades, has been functioning in the role of mother. Now, that part of her job is about to change in a pretty dramatic way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Barbara and Susan\u2019s Guide to the Empty Nest, <\/em>in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If you know somebody who is about to enter that season\u2014maybe it\u2019s you or maybe the season is still a year or two in front of you\u2014get a copy of this book. It will help you be spiritually and emotionally prepared for the empty nest when it arrives; and it will help you navigate this chapter of life if this is where you find yourself right now. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, here at the start of a new month, we\u2019ve got a couple of anniversaries we want to acknowledge. David and Tanisha Lawrence are celebrating their fifth anniversary today. They live in Lynn, Massachusetts. And we also want to say, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d to our friends, Terry and Cindy Fahy, who live in Los Angeles. Terry is the General Manager at KKLA in Los Angeles. He and Cindy have been married 35 years today, and they are alumni of the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Fahys and to the Lawrences. We hope your day is a great day as you celebrate your anniversaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think anniversaries are a big deal and that we ought to be celebrating longevity, and commitment, and faithfulness in a marriage relationship. We are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. In fact, last week, we celebrated our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got staff and friends together and spent some time reflecting on God\u2019s faithfulness over 40 years, as we have sought to provide practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families over the last four decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we had a number of people, last week, who wished us a happy anniversary with an anniversary donation. In fact, I noticed a number of $40 donations came through last week, and that was encouraging to see. We want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who have helped support the ministry over the years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to hear from you. If your donation is $100 or more, we have a thank-you gift we\u2019d like to send you. It\u2019s a set of three study guides from our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Connect Series\u2014all designed to help you, as a couple. You can go through these, as husband and wife; or you can get with other couples and engage with them in helping to build stronger, healthier marriages. Find out more when you give, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to us at <em>Family Life Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about why it\u2019s important for a mom to maybe take a break when she reaches the empty nest\u2014maybe a little season of rest there. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304108","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304108"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304108"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304108"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304108"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}