{"id":304086,"date":"2016-07-15T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-07-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/surrendering-control\/"},"modified":"2016-07-15T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-07-15T15:00:00","slug":"surrendering-control","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/surrendering-control\/","title":{"rendered":"Surrendering Control"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Karen Ehman, Nicole Unice | Series: Letting Go of Control | In what ways are you controlling your\u00a0kids? Karen Ehman and Nicole Unice, former controllers, talk about the very real temptation to control your kids so they&#8217;ll live happy lives and stay on a good path. However, Karen and Nicole remind us that parenting is all about training your children to make wise choices and eventually working yourself out of a job. Hear these former control freaks tell where they&#8217;ve been challenged to &#8220;let go&#8221; and not control their children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Karen Ehman and Nicole Unice, former controllers, discuss how parenting is all about training your children to make wise choices and eventually working yourself out of a job.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-07-15.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"28.18M","filesize_raw":"29545761","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2831,2093],"tags":[5998,6040,6042,6041,2209,4353],"podcast_series":[7981],"cwp_profile":[3311,9323],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304086","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-wives","category-women","tag-control-freak","tag-controlling-your-family","tag-let-go","tag-making-wise-choices","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children","podcast_series-letting-go-of-control","cwp_profile-karen-ehman","cwp_profile-nicole-unice","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304086\/surrendering-control","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304086\/surrendering-control","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"y9JnFoDQJf\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/surrendering-control\/\">Surrendering Control<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/surrendering-control\/embed\/#?secret=y9JnFoDQJf\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Surrendering Control&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"y9JnFoDQJf\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-07-15.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-07-15.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have some bad news for you today. If you are a parent, you will mess some things up. And for those of you who have high standards, and want to be in control of everything, get ready for bigger problems. Here\u2019s Nicole Unice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>I remember reading somewhere, a long time ago\u2014and it was just this little comment\u2014but it said, \u201cIf your Heavenly Father has as many problems with His children as He does, don\u2019t you think you might have some with yours?\u201d So, getting over the idea that, \u201cI\u2019m going to do it perfectly.\u201d Of course, we all sort of nod our heads, \u201cYes. Yes, of course, I\u2019m not going to do it perfectly,\u201d but <em>really<\/em> letting that sink in. \u201cI, in who I am, will be a problem for my children, at some point.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> forFriday, July 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Here\u2019s an important question today: \u201cWhen you mess up, or when someone you know messes up, do you give yourself\u2014or do you give them\u2014grace?\u201d We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, we\u2019ve been talking this week about the issue of control, and I haven\u2019t heard you mention Barbara much. [Laughter] Is there anything you wanted to share about\u2014I just had to\u2014I\u2019m sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Long pause. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the funny part of that. You don\u2019t know what just happened\u2014I walked out of here and walked back to my office, here outside the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just a few minutes ago; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I walked by Barbara\u2019s office, and went in, and gave her a hug, and was kind of hugging her there gently. I said, \u201cBy the way, we\u2019re doing some great radio with a couple of ladies about controlling women.\u201d And--this is no kidding\u2014she said, \u201cDo I have a problem with control?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Aww. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh, boy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Look at that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I said: \u201cI\u2019m not answering that question! [Laughter] You need to listen to the broadcast and come to a conclusion on that.\u201d I mean, and then you come in and ask me about this. It is like, \u201cDid she stick her head in here or something?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She did not; no. No, I think the Lord just was working\u2014[Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know this\u2014because I don\u2019t know everybody\u2019s heart\u2014but I wonder if control is not an issue, at some level, for all human beings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNicole: Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, I just kind of wonder about this subject\u2014if it\u2019s not kind of like a law of gravity? We all struggle with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we\u2019ve got a couple of authors with us\u2014the author of <em>She\u2019s Got Issues<\/em> by Nicole Unice; and <em>Let. It. Go. <\/em>In fact, I\u2019m going to say it the way it\u2019s written: [Speaking forcefully] <em>LET IT GO<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have got to have the pause\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> That was very controlling! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>LET<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>IT<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>GO<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s it\u2014there are periods there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014by Karen Ehman. Karen, Nicole, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Thank you. Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Before we get to the main focus of the day\u2014which we want to talk about how somebody can really begin to deal with this issue of control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, first of all, want\u2014you decide who\u2019s going to talk about which\u2014but I want you to talk about how wives control their husbands and how mothers control their kids.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Karen, you get to start. Which one do you want?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ve had kids longer than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I was going to\u2014I was going to ask you, Karen, to do it because I feel like you\u2019ve gone through most of the life cycle of raising kids. I\u2019m still really learning, and I want to hear\u2014I\u2019m ready to learn from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Yes, my children are 22, 18, and 15. When I told my children I was writing a book on being a control freak, my older two said: \u201cOh, boy, Mom, do you have <em>a lot<\/em> of material on that! You can really write on that\u2014you <em>wrote<\/em> the book on that.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> \u201cThanks, kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> But my youngest said, \u201cMom\u2019s not controlling! Mom\u2019s not a control freak.\u201d He could name off a bunch of other mothers in his circle of friends that he knew were. I thought, \u201cI must be getting it right. I must be doing a little better as my kids grow up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s encouraging.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes, that is encouraging.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s either that or it\u2019s just a tender-hearted kid\u2014one of the two; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Or he wants something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s kissing up to her to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, he wants something; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He wants an increase in the allowance. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Actually, he\u2019s my child who\u2019s the bluntest and calls it like it is\u2014so it really was a compliment, coming from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Cool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> But I think, for me, I want my children to learn life\u2019s lessons now, and not make mistakes that I made, and not make mistakes that my husband made, and not make mistakes that I see the other kids in culture making. So, I just want to give the lecture and have them respond appropriately. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have them get it and then live perfect lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Absolutely! I just want to control how they think, how they dress, how they act, who they hang out with, what they go forward and do in life, and their relationship with God. I just want it to be <em>good<\/em>! I want them to be happy! I want them to be fulfilled. I want them to fulfill God\u2019s plan for their life. So, if they would just <em>do everything I tell them<\/em>\u2014that would happen! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, isn\u2019t parenting, at some level, about controlling their choices?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> It is; it is. It\u2019s about slowly giving the reigns over to them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> \u2014about things that don\u2019t matter. When they\u2019re younger\u2014you know, let them make a choice of what outfit to wear\u2014and then, slowly teach them to make good choices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you\u2019re teaching them to make the choices. You\u2019re not making them for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s what I would say in response to Bob\u2019s comment. I think the goal of parenting is to train your children to ultimately become adults\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014who know how to make wise choices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Yes, and I always say the goal, as a parent, is to work yourself out of a job. So just a little simple example at our house\u2014by the time our children are 12, they do their own laundry. My philosophy is that, if a 12-year-old can run an XBox controller, they can push the \u201con\u201d button on the washing machine; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think the control comes in when we want to prevent pain and we want to prevent mistakes. If we always micromanage our kids and make all the choices for them, when they launch from our nest, they will be crippled. They won\u2019t know how to make them. They need to be slowly given that responsibility\u2014to make choices while they\u2019re still in our house so they can fail while they\u2019re still under our roof, and learn those hard lessons, and learn how to go to God for the right way to do things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; and allowing God, in His grace, to take the mistakes they make\u2014and I\u2019m going to add something here\u2014and the mistakes you make by being controlling\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because there are issues that are going to be caused in our kids\u2019 lives if we\u2019re too controlling of the kids. It\u2019s God\u2019s grace, in that situation, that can be used in the child\u2019s life to help them grow up and press into adulthood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I remember reading somewhere a long time ago\u2014and it was just this little comment\u2014but it said, \u201cIf your Heavenly Father has as many problems with His children as He does, don\u2019t you think you might have some with yours?\u201d\u2014meaning: \u201cIs it not that our Heavenly Father has determined to give us the freedom to make decisions that are not always wise? And that we will live in some foolishness, but it\u2019s in His great glory that He can bring those things around. He\u2019s the only One who can sow good out of something that was meant for harm.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s in Genesis 50, when Joseph is talking to his brothers. He says, \u201cWhat you intended for harm, God intended for good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s really important\u2014something that was said to me, once, when I was struggling with not being the perfect parent. I had made a series of mistakes. My friend, Lisa, said to me, \u201cKaren, if you were a perfect mom, your children would have no need for God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Sometimes, we think that by being perfect and never doing a misstep, and never giving wrong advice, that our kids are going to turn out well; but sometimes, they\u2019ll learn to rely on us because we seem to have it all together and have all the answers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> We want them to learn to go to <em>God<\/em> for direction; and go to <em>God<\/em>, in prayer, for what they\u2019re supposed to do in life; and go to <em>God<\/em> when they mess up. If they never see us admit that we mess up, how are they ever going to admit that they mess up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; how will they know to confess and repent if they don\u2019t see Mom and Dad confessing and repenting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Right; absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have to get to Nicole controlling her husband. So, what does that look like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> When it comes to men and women, or me and my husband, and this idea of controlling, I think we sort of alluded to it earlier about the motivation behind what you\u2019re doing. A lot of times, this isn\u2019t just about women over-speaking or sort of controlling action. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s also about women choosing not to confront because you\u2019re managing the environment. You\u2019re saying: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to be okay with this being this way because, in my desire for things to be a certain way, I want to create this environment of safety. For me, safety means that no one\u2019s ever rocking the boat. I can control how I do that for the kids. So, I just won\u2019t relate any more to my husband. He can go do his own thing, and I\u2019ll do every single thing in this house to keep it together. My children never see us relate, as a husband and a wife, because I have given up on this being something good. I\u2019m going to control this environment by just keeping the peace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut maybe, I\u2019ve got a snide comment there, and a disrespectful way of going about things there\u2014it\u2019s the eye-roll. Your kids are sitting right there and watching that go down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t want this to be just about women who, perhaps, do have a vocal personality or are willing to go there and have the fight; but it\u2019s also about <em>not<\/em> being willing to go there. The motivation may be the same, at the root\u2014this idea of taking a spacebar\u2014is taking a break when you feel like you\u2019re starting to sort of strive or spin about something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you\u2019re finding yourself really torqued-up, internally, about whatever the thing is; and actually trying to pause for a minute and say, \u201cWhy am I trying to control this situation?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, what\u2019s a torqued-up situation look like with you and your husband?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Well, I mean, a lot of times it might be, you know, who\u2019s doing what or, maybe, a way that I feel like I\u2019ve been wronged. \u201cHe didn\u2019t get me.\u201d You know, I was trying to say we need to spend more time together and he just\u2014he shoved me off. So, then, I\u2019m starting to go in my mind\u2014and I\u2019m creating a case for why I\u2019m right about something. And then, all these other little complaints are going to come in too: \u201cHe always says this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe comes home\u2014my husband likes to come home\u2014and when he\u2019s stressed, he starts vacuuming. I know\u2014it\u2019s so funny but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Send him to my house. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I know. That\u2019s what every woman says to me: \u201cSend him to my house.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, mine does dishes. So, I can send him to your house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You say your husband vacuums when he feels stressed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes; he does. He does vacuum when he feels stressed. He appreciates order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s very difficult for him to disconnect from work life and get to family life if there\u2019s not order. His idea of order and my idea of order are <em>slightly<\/em> different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Especially with three kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes. So, for me, it can be clean; but there can be things out, and that\u2019s fine. For him, he wants order; and it\u2019s very difficult for him to relax. For many years, I decided that was his problem, and he needed to get over it. And I found that that was not helpful. Over time\u2014and this\u2014I don\u2019t do this well, at all\u2014and I don\u2019t do it perfectly, at all\u2014but we started to have a conversation, where I said: \u201cIf there was a place in the house, that felt orderly to you when you came home, would that be helpful? So if our bedroom is a place that I really try to keep order there, in that place\u2014and could you go there for ten minutes, after work, and change or whatever\u2014would that be a way to relax?\u2014because I don\u2019t think that I can meet your expectation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s after years of struggling. The first part of it was getting all torqued-up: \u201cHe expects ridiculous things,\u201d and \u201cWhat he wants\u2014I\u2019m never going to be able to give him,\u201d and \u201cI just can\u2019t be enough for him!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what I\u2019m talking about\u2014that torqued-up internal conversation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> \u2014that you\u2019re having, as you sort of make a case for why you\u2019re right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And we keep building that case, and you keep digging a trench. It can become a deep trench.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Oh, yes; it can. There was this one time in our marriage where I was so frustrated every time I went through our garage area on the way out to the driveway. I was so mad at Dave, and I didn\u2019t even know why. I just was frustrated! It didn\u2019t matter if it was my stuff, or his stuff, or the kids\u2019 stuff\u2014I was just really frustrated, always at him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I was going through the garage. We were in a Bible study\u2014it was a marriage Bible study. It was kind of a life group. Our mentor couple said, \u201cWhat\u2019s one thing that you believe is a rule \/ an unspoken rule that your husband probably has no idea what it is?\u201d I made that connection between the garage and the unspoken rule\u2014it was: \u201cMy dad always cleaned the garage. Every time I go through here, I think to myself, \u2018You should be cleaning the garage.\u2019 I never told you that, and I am so sorry that I\u2019ve been frustrated at you because I was operating from a belief that the man is supposed to organize the garage.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI never told you, and I don\u2019t even know if I want us to believe that.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that is an example of a belief system that we can\u2014an unspoken rule\u2014we can be living by, that we\u2019re not even aware of, if we don\u2019t slow down \/ take that spacebar: \u201cWhat is this teaching me about what I believe?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; I think we have sufficiently demonstrated, in these interviews, that control might be an issue for some people; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So here\u2019s the question. Karen\u2014you alluded to the fact that there is some empirical evidence that you have a younger child who does not seem to notice the tendencies in you that your older kids notice\u2014that, maybe, you\u2019ve made some progress in this area in your life. What have you done to get better? How have you gotten to break the control issue in your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I think the thing that helped me the most was when my friend, Lisa, <em>dared me<\/em>\u2014she\u2019s a fellow control freak\u2014to not make any decisions for three weeks \/ no decisions at all. That meant, if we\u2019re all traveling down the road and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You became totally passive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I did! For three weeks and three weeks only, Dennis! But we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve not known you long but that\u2014that had to be torture! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the Olympics for you\u2014I\u2019m thinking. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, even if it came to\u2014we\u2019re all driving down the road and going to decide what place to eat for fast food as we\u2019re on a trip \/ on a vacation\u2014I would say, \u201cI\u2019ve no opinion in the matter.\u201d Now, I had a great opinion in the matter\u2014I knew the Weight Watcher<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2019s menu. I knew how many points were in everything at those fast food places. I knew I wanted to go to Taco Bell<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, but they all wanted to go to Burger King<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or wherever it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I, for three weeks, did not make any decisions\u2014I just said, \u201cI have no opinion in the matter.\u201d If it was something\u2014of course, if it was deciding what outfit to wear that day, I decided about that, but when there were decisions being made by multiple people, I checked out and said: \u201cDo what you want. I\u2019ve no opinion in the matter.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what made this extremely painful is that this three-week dare came right smack during the holiday season. It was time to decorate the home for the holidays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy 12 year-old Spencer is an all-over-the-map, crazy, kind of artistic kind. He decided that he wanted to help with the decorations. None of the other kids wanted to\u2014they weren\u2019t home\u2014and my husband was gone at work. Because I couldn\u2019t make any decisions, I let Spencer take the lead and decorate the exterior of the house, the tree, and the interior of the house any way he wanted to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are biting your tongue big time! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh, man! You must know, I am\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Biting the tongue while speaking] \u201cI have no opinion in the matter.\u201d I can hear it now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I still have the scar, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, what made this extremely painful is that I have <em>very<\/em> strong opinions about what the house should look like at Christmas. I have bins of decorations, labeled with exactly where they go\u2014on which mantel, on which floor, on which tree, on which bush. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I know exactly, because I don\u2019t like to have excess stuff in my house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking about control!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> A little bit. So I had these bins, and I pulled them out. He didn\u2019t read anything on the side! He just started going at it! He thought he should have some blinking lights, some non-blinking, some colored, some white\u2014no rhyme or reason to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said we had a little bit of a budget\u2014we could go out and buy a few new things. Now, I would have gone to a nice antique store and gotten some retro\u2014kind of 1950s-looking decorations to put in the house\u2014or scatter some post cards on the coffee table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh no! He went to the dollar store and bought the most <em>hideous<\/em> candy canes I\u2019ve ever seen, that lit up, and we put them along our walkway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> You\u2019re not bitter; are you? You sound like it was totally fine with you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh, our house was just a disaster\u2014I thought, \u201cNo sane woman has a house that looks like this when people drive by\u201d; but, apparently, I\u2019ve been declared \u201cinsane\u201d because I let him do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven when we got to the interior of the house, I thought, \u201cMaybe he\u2019ll back off and say, \u2018Oh, I don\u2019t want to decorate anymore, Mom. You can do the tree.\u2019\u201d Oh no! He wanted to clump ornaments here together instead of evenly spaced-out. Again, no rhyme and reason to anything that he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we were done, and we were sitting on the couch, I was enjoying a cup of coffee \/ he was enjoying some hot cocoa. Of course, I was kind of scheming, \u201cShould I kind of say something that\u2019ll make him let me rearrange it?\u201d But I didn\u2019t. I sat there and let him play the music he wanted\u2014you know, <em>Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer<\/em> instead of, you know, Josh Groban\u2014like I wanted to play. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat there, still, in my mind, trying to figure out how I could go back and get my way. He looked at me, with the most beautiful look on his content face, and said: \u201cMom, today was the funnest day ever. I love you!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Aw.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> And that was worth it\u2014to hear my child express his love to me\u2014that, for once, I let him have an opinion in the matter. For once, I didn\u2019t micro-manage. For once, I thought he had a good idea!\u2014because that\u2019s how I spun it to him: \u201cHey, great idea! Sure!\u201d Inside, I\u2019m like, \u201cI can\u2019t believe he\u2019s doing this!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I still look back to that Christmas. That Christmas was the most memorable Christmas ever. I stuck to my decision-making fast all through Christmas. I didn\u2019t have an opinion about what cookies we would make or what we would serve for Christmas dinner\u2014I let the kids pick all of it. They still think of that as the best Christmas ever because they got to have a say in the matter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause how it had gone before on decorating night was Mom barking out orders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEverybody helped for about 20 minutes. Then, they all split the seasonal scene and went to a different place in the house because no one wanted to be around Mom because she was so picky about what the decorations looked like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, fast-forward to today\u2014it\u2019s been three\/four years now\u2014I don\u2019t have to have it perfect. I don\u2019t always just let him do whatever\u2014he\u2019s not really into that anymore\u2014but I\u2019ve kind of scaled back. I ask people if they want to help. If they do, I don\u2019t correct them. I just let them put it out. It doesn\u2019t matter if it doesn\u2019t go from the right\u2014or doesn\u2019t come from the right bin\u2014that was labeled where exactly it should go. I\u2019ve relaxed a lot more and realized that people and relationships are much more important than me getting my own way with what the house looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause, at the root of that was: \u201cWhy did I have to have the house look a certain way? Was it really because I liked it that way?\u201d Kind of, but really it was more so that I could impress everybody with how great my house looked. I would rather have happy, content children, who know that they\u2019re a part of this family, and they\u2019re wanted, and they\u2019re loved, and their opinions matter, than have a house that looks like it came out of a magazine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, the challenge to all of our listeners, to deal with control\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Three weeks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014is to go cold turkey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> It is, if it\u2019s a real issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is rehab.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is\u2014get off the drug, see how bad things really are, and then, observe, and listen; and keep biting your tongue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> And look at your own self and your own heart, at the end of that\u2014that three-week fast\u2014I realized that I was not so on-edge. I was not so bossy. I felt like my relationships in my family were calmer. My kids\u2019 contributions and my husband\u2019s opinions became endearing to me instead of annoying to me. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a <em>lot less work<\/em>, actually, for me to not have to always be in control. I don\u2019t think we\u2014women or men who struggle with this\u2014realize that, when we have to be in control of everything and we never delegate anything, we just make more work for ourselves!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; I want all of our listeners who do this\u2014who go three weeks\u2014we\u2019re talking tough dealing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014alright?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u2014to go to our Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014say, \u201cI\u2019m in for the next three weeks.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m in,\u201d and then, report back at the end of the three weeks your two-paragraph summary, along with your favorite takeaway from the three weeks. We\u2019ll see what happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got to take some time, before we\u2019re done, to find out from Nicole: \u201cYou have gotten better in this area?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure, but I know that I\u2019ve learned a lot about surrendering my way to God\u2019s way. So my takeaway for the listeners is just a simple exercise\u2014just a way to start your day. You can just put your hands down, with your palms facing down, and just pray to the Lord, with your palms facing down, thinking about the things that belong in His arena, which is pretty much your whole life: \u201cLord, I surrender\u2014this person, this situation, this circumstance, this thing that I really want to go a certain way, this desire, this dream,\u201d or whatever that is. It just might be a few seconds every day, but it\u2019s an expression of, \u201cI want the Lord to actually be the Lord of my life every single day.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is the palms down?\u2014why palms down?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Palms down\u2014drop it \/ drop it. I\u2019ve prayed before and found my fingers curling\u2014as I\u2019ve just left my hands there, and as I\u2019ve detailed out some of those things, in the Lord\u2019s presence, I\u2019ve felt my fingers curling\u2014just really letting your hands open. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen you just turn your hands up\u2014so your palms are facing up\u2014and just pray: \u201cLord, I want to receive Your goodness today. I want to receive Your mercy and Your Lordship in my life. I want You to be the Boss of my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you just described Chapter 4: \u201cSurrendering the Kung-Fu Control Grip\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I have; yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh. This was revealed right here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This is powerful. If you do \u201cSurrendering the Kung-Fu Control Grip,\u201d add your name\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to the Facebook page?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Facebook page.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What if you do both?\u2014no decisions <em>plus<\/em> the Kung-Fu thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Whistle] That\u2019s serious!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Well, you\u2019re probably going to need the prayer if you\u2019re actually going to try to go \u201cno decisions.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> You\u2019re going to need daily or hourly help and strength.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, ladies, you\u2019ve given us a lot to think about and, certainly, some challenges. Three weeks! I\u2019m really proud of you, Karen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> That\u2019s a long time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Karen, that\u2019s quite the deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope folks will get their books. I really do. I think it\u2019d make for some great reading, and they may need it in the midst of the three weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; these are the kind of books that you\u2019d get and go through, maybe, with a group of girlfriends\u2014all of you get together and read through these books. You can order either book from us at FamilyLifeToday.com. The one Nicole has written is called <em>She\u2019s Got Issues: Seriously Good News for Stressed-Out, Secretly Scared Control Freaks Like Us<\/em>. And the one Karen Ehman has written is called <em>Let. It. Go.<\/em> I said it that way because there\u2019s a period at the end of each word: <em>Let. It. Go.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got both books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go online\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. You can order the books from us, online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order the books from us by phone. Once again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com. Phone number: 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, do you know what Jonathan and Danielle Guti\u00e9rrez were doing four years ago today? They live in Salinas, California. Four years ago today, they looked each other in the eye and they said, \u201cI do,\u201d and became husband and wife. Today is their fourth anniversary. We want to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d They listen to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>on KKMC. They\u2019ve been to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. In fact, they have hosted <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. These guys are starting off right and getting their marriage foundation built well underneath them. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Guti\u00e9rrezes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all about celebrating anniversaries, here at FamilyLife, because every anniversary that\u2019s celebrated is another indication that your marriage is going the distance\u2014that you\u2019re honoring your covenant, that you\u2019re doing marriage the way God designed it to be done, and that you\u2019re giving each other a lot of grace in the process. Here at FamilyLife, we want to provide you with the practical biblical hope and help you need so that your marriage can go the distance and so that your family can thrive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to thank those of you who partner with us in making all that we do happen\u2014those of you who support this ministry with donations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can make a donation today, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can call if you\u2019d like to make a donation today\u2014our phone number is 1-800-358-6329. You can also mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your partnership. We do appreciate every donation we receive, here at FamilyLife. We\u2019re grateful for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you have a great weekend! Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about how you can make your marriage and your family an emotionally safe place. Joshua Straub is going to be here to help us with that. I hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["28.18M"],"filesize_raw":["29545761"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304086.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304086.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 3em;padding-bottom: 3em;padding-left: 1.5em;padding-right: 1.5em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 960px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{row-gap: 40px;column-gap: 40px;grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: start;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: flex-start;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container *{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #25282a;;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure figcaption{font-style: normal;align-self: center;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 0.2;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner{left: 15px;right: 15px;top: 15px;bottom: 15px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading{font-style: normal;color: #fff;opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading a{color: #fff;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{width: 30%;border-top-width: 2px;border-top-color: #fff;opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 292px;height: 48px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 2em;padding-bottom: 2em;padding-left: 2em;padding-right: 2em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-top-left-radius: 30px;border-top-right-radius: 30px;border-bottom-left-radius: 30px;border-bottom-right-radius: 30px;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.uagb-block-232092dc.wp-block-uagb-buttons.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {gap: 10px;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: left;align-items: center;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-uagb-buttons-child .uagb-buttons-repeater{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:hover{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:focus{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper .uagb-buttons-repeater{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:focus{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon > svg{width: 15px;height: 15px;fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-after{margin-left: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-before{margin-right: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__link{text-transform: normal;text-decoration: none;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}\";s:2:\"js\";s:161:\"document.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function(){ window.addEventListener( 'load', function() {\n\tUAGBButtonChild.init( '.uagb-block-00708611' );\n});\n });\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776557012;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Karen Ehman and Nicole Unice, former controllers, discuss how parenting is all about training your children to make wise choices and eventually working yourself out of a job.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-07-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have some bad news for you today. If you are a parent, you will mess some things up. And for those of you who have high standards, and want to be in control of everything, get ready for bigger problems. Here\u2019s Nicole Unice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>I remember reading somewhere, a long time ago\u2014and it was just this little comment\u2014but it said, \u201cIf your Heavenly Father has as many problems with His children as He does, don\u2019t you think you might have some with yours?\u201d So, getting over the idea that, \u201cI\u2019m going to do it perfectly.\u201d Of course, we all sort of nod our heads, \u201cYes. Yes, of course, I\u2019m not going to do it perfectly,\u201d but <em>really<\/em> letting that sink in. \u201cI, in who I am, will be a problem for my children, at some point.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> forFriday, July 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Here\u2019s an important question today: \u201cWhen you mess up, or when someone you know messes up, do you give yourself\u2014or do you give them\u2014grace?\u201d We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, we\u2019ve been talking this week about the issue of control, and I haven\u2019t heard you mention Barbara much. [Laughter] Is there anything you wanted to share about\u2014I just had to\u2014I\u2019m sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Long pause. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the funny part of that. You don\u2019t know what just happened\u2014I walked out of here and walked back to my office, here outside the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just a few minutes ago; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I walked by Barbara\u2019s office, and went in, and gave her a hug, and was kind of hugging her there gently. I said, \u201cBy the way, we\u2019re doing some great radio with a couple of ladies about controlling women.\u201d And--this is no kidding\u2014she said, \u201cDo I have a problem with control?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Aww. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh, boy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Look at that! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I said: \u201cI\u2019m not answering that question! [Laughter] You need to listen to the broadcast and come to a conclusion on that.\u201d I mean, and then you come in and ask me about this. It is like, \u201cDid she stick her head in here or something?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She did not; no. No, I think the Lord just was working\u2014[Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know this\u2014because I don\u2019t know everybody\u2019s heart\u2014but I wonder if control is not an issue, at some level, for all human beings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNicole: Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, I just kind of wonder about this subject\u2014if it\u2019s not kind of like a law of gravity? We all struggle with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we\u2019ve got a couple of authors with us\u2014the author of <em>She\u2019s Got Issues<\/em> by Nicole Unice; and <em>Let. It. Go. <\/em>In fact, I\u2019m going to say it the way it\u2019s written: [Speaking forcefully] <em>LET IT GO<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have got to have the pause\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> That was very controlling! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>LET<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>IT<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>GO<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s it\u2014there are periods there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014by Karen Ehman. Karen, Nicole, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Thank you. Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Before we get to the main focus of the day\u2014which we want to talk about how somebody can really begin to deal with this issue of control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI, first of all, want\u2014you decide who\u2019s going to talk about which\u2014but I want you to talk about how wives control their husbands and how mothers control their kids.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Karen, you get to start. Which one do you want?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ve had kids longer than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I was going to\u2014I was going to ask you, Karen, to do it because I feel like you\u2019ve gone through most of the life cycle of raising kids. I\u2019m still really learning, and I want to hear\u2014I\u2019m ready to learn from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Yes, my children are 22, 18, and 15. When I told my children I was writing a book on being a control freak, my older two said: \u201cOh, boy, Mom, do you have <em>a lot<\/em> of material on that! You can really write on that\u2014you <em>wrote<\/em> the book on that.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> \u201cThanks, kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> But my youngest said, \u201cMom\u2019s not controlling! Mom\u2019s not a control freak.\u201d He could name off a bunch of other mothers in his circle of friends that he knew were. I thought, \u201cI must be getting it right. I must be doing a little better as my kids grow up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s encouraging.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes, that is encouraging.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s either that or it\u2019s just a tender-hearted kid\u2014one of the two; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Or he wants something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He\u2019s kissing up to her to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, he wants something; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He wants an increase in the allowance. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Actually, he\u2019s my child who\u2019s the bluntest and calls it like it is\u2014so it really was a compliment, coming from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Cool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> But I think, for me, I want my children to learn life\u2019s lessons now, and not make mistakes that I made, and not make mistakes that my husband made, and not make mistakes that I see the other kids in culture making. So, I just want to give the lecture and have them respond appropriately. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have them get it and then live perfect lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Absolutely! I just want to control how they think, how they dress, how they act, who they hang out with, what they go forward and do in life, and their relationship with God. I just want it to be <em>good<\/em>! I want them to be happy! I want them to be fulfilled. I want them to fulfill God\u2019s plan for their life. So, if they would just <em>do everything I tell them<\/em>\u2014that would happen! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, isn\u2019t parenting, at some level, about controlling their choices?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> It is; it is. It\u2019s about slowly giving the reigns over to them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> \u2014about things that don\u2019t matter. When they\u2019re younger\u2014you know, let them make a choice of what outfit to wear\u2014and then, slowly teach them to make good choices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you\u2019re teaching them to make the choices. You\u2019re not making them for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s what I would say in response to Bob\u2019s comment. I think the goal of parenting is to train your children to ultimately become adults\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014who know how to make wise choices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Yes, and I always say the goal, as a parent, is to work yourself out of a job. So just a little simple example at our house\u2014by the time our children are 12, they do their own laundry. My philosophy is that, if a 12-year-old can run an XBox controller, they can push the \u201con\u201d button on the washing machine; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think the control comes in when we want to prevent pain and we want to prevent mistakes. If we always micromanage our kids and make all the choices for them, when they launch from our nest, they will be crippled. They won\u2019t know how to make them. They need to be slowly given that responsibility\u2014to make choices while they\u2019re still in our house so they can fail while they\u2019re still under our roof, and learn those hard lessons, and learn how to go to God for the right way to do things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; and allowing God, in His grace, to take the mistakes they make\u2014and I\u2019m going to add something here\u2014and the mistakes you make by being controlling\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because there are issues that are going to be caused in our kids\u2019 lives if we\u2019re too controlling of the kids. It\u2019s God\u2019s grace, in that situation, that can be used in the child\u2019s life to help them grow up and press into adulthood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I remember reading somewhere a long time ago\u2014and it was just this little comment\u2014but it said, \u201cIf your Heavenly Father has as many problems with His children as He does, don\u2019t you think you might have some with yours?\u201d\u2014meaning: \u201cIs it not that our Heavenly Father has determined to give us the freedom to make decisions that are not always wise? And that we will live in some foolishness, but it\u2019s in His great glory that He can bring those things around. He\u2019s the only One who can sow good out of something that was meant for harm.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s in Genesis 50, when Joseph is talking to his brothers. He says, \u201cWhat you intended for harm, God intended for good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> And I think it\u2019s really important\u2014something that was said to me, once, when I was struggling with not being the perfect parent. I had made a series of mistakes. My friend, Lisa, said to me, \u201cKaren, if you were a perfect mom, your children would have no need for God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Sometimes, we think that by being perfect and never doing a misstep, and never giving wrong advice, that our kids are going to turn out well; but sometimes, they\u2019ll learn to rely on us because we seem to have it all together and have all the answers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> We want them to learn to go to <em>God<\/em> for direction; and go to <em>God<\/em>, in prayer, for what they\u2019re supposed to do in life; and go to <em>God<\/em> when they mess up. If they never see us admit that we mess up, how are they ever going to admit that they mess up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; how will they know to confess and repent if they don\u2019t see Mom and Dad confessing and repenting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Right; absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have to get to Nicole controlling her husband. So, what does that look like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> When it comes to men and women, or me and my husband, and this idea of controlling, I think we sort of alluded to it earlier about the motivation behind what you\u2019re doing. A lot of times, this isn\u2019t just about women over-speaking or sort of controlling action. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s also about women choosing not to confront because you\u2019re managing the environment. You\u2019re saying: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to be okay with this being this way because, in my desire for things to be a certain way, I want to create this environment of safety. For me, safety means that no one\u2019s ever rocking the boat. I can control how I do that for the kids. So, I just won\u2019t relate any more to my husband. He can go do his own thing, and I\u2019ll do every single thing in this house to keep it together. My children never see us relate, as a husband and a wife, because I have given up on this being something good. I\u2019m going to control this environment by just keeping the peace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut maybe, I\u2019ve got a snide comment there, and a disrespectful way of going about things there\u2014it\u2019s the eye-roll. Your kids are sitting right there and watching that go down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t want this to be just about women who, perhaps, do have a vocal personality or are willing to go there and have the fight; but it\u2019s also about <em>not<\/em> being willing to go there. The motivation may be the same, at the root\u2014this idea of taking a spacebar\u2014is taking a break when you feel like you\u2019re starting to sort of strive or spin about something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you\u2019re finding yourself really torqued-up, internally, about whatever the thing is; and actually trying to pause for a minute and say, \u201cWhy am I trying to control this situation?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, what\u2019s a torqued-up situation look like with you and your husband?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Well, I mean, a lot of times it might be, you know, who\u2019s doing what or, maybe, a way that I feel like I\u2019ve been wronged. \u201cHe didn\u2019t get me.\u201d You know, I was trying to say we need to spend more time together and he just\u2014he shoved me off. So, then, I\u2019m starting to go in my mind\u2014and I\u2019m creating a case for why I\u2019m right about something. And then, all these other little complaints are going to come in too: \u201cHe always says this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe comes home\u2014my husband likes to come home\u2014and when he\u2019s stressed, he starts vacuuming. I know\u2014it\u2019s so funny but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Send him to my house. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I know. That\u2019s what every woman says to me: \u201cSend him to my house.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, mine does dishes. So, I can send him to your house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You say your husband vacuums when he feels stressed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes; he does. He does vacuum when he feels stressed. He appreciates order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s very difficult for him to disconnect from work life and get to family life if there\u2019s not order. His idea of order and my idea of order are <em>slightly<\/em> different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Especially with three kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes. So, for me, it can be clean; but there can be things out, and that\u2019s fine. For him, he wants order; and it\u2019s very difficult for him to relax. For many years, I decided that was his problem, and he needed to get over it. And I found that that was not helpful. Over time\u2014and this\u2014I don\u2019t do this well, at all\u2014and I don\u2019t do it perfectly, at all\u2014but we started to have a conversation, where I said: \u201cIf there was a place in the house, that felt orderly to you when you came home, would that be helpful? So if our bedroom is a place that I really try to keep order there, in that place\u2014and could you go there for ten minutes, after work, and change or whatever\u2014would that be a way to relax?\u2014because I don\u2019t think that I can meet your expectation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s after years of struggling. The first part of it was getting all torqued-up: \u201cHe expects ridiculous things,\u201d and \u201cWhat he wants\u2014I\u2019m never going to be able to give him,\u201d and \u201cI just can\u2019t be enough for him!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what I\u2019m talking about\u2014that torqued-up internal conversation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> \u2014that you\u2019re having, as you sort of make a case for why you\u2019re right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And we keep building that case, and you keep digging a trench. It can become a deep trench.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Oh, yes; it can. There was this one time in our marriage where I was so frustrated every time I went through our garage area on the way out to the driveway. I was so mad at Dave, and I didn\u2019t even know why. I just was frustrated! It didn\u2019t matter if it was my stuff, or his stuff, or the kids\u2019 stuff\u2014I was just really frustrated, always at him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I was going through the garage. We were in a Bible study\u2014it was a marriage Bible study. It was kind of a life group. Our mentor couple said, \u201cWhat\u2019s one thing that you believe is a rule \/ an unspoken rule that your husband probably has no idea what it is?\u201d I made that connection between the garage and the unspoken rule\u2014it was: \u201cMy dad always cleaned the garage. Every time I go through here, I think to myself, \u2018You should be cleaning the garage.\u2019 I never told you that, and I am so sorry that I\u2019ve been frustrated at you because I was operating from a belief that the man is supposed to organize the garage.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI never told you, and I don\u2019t even know if I want us to believe that.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that is an example of a belief system that we can\u2014an unspoken rule\u2014we can be living by, that we\u2019re not even aware of, if we don\u2019t slow down \/ take that spacebar: \u201cWhat is this teaching me about what I believe?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; I think we have sufficiently demonstrated, in these interviews, that control might be an issue for some people; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So here\u2019s the question. Karen\u2014you alluded to the fact that there is some empirical evidence that you have a younger child who does not seem to notice the tendencies in you that your older kids notice\u2014that, maybe, you\u2019ve made some progress in this area in your life. What have you done to get better? How have you gotten to break the control issue in your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I think the thing that helped me the most was when my friend, Lisa, <em>dared me<\/em>\u2014she\u2019s a fellow control freak\u2014to not make any decisions for three weeks \/ no decisions at all. That meant, if we\u2019re all traveling down the road and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You became totally passive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I did! For three weeks and three weeks only, Dennis! But we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve not known you long but that\u2014that had to be torture! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the Olympics for you\u2014I\u2019m thinking. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Well, even if it came to\u2014we\u2019re all driving down the road and going to decide what place to eat for fast food as we\u2019re on a trip \/ on a vacation\u2014I would say, \u201cI\u2019ve no opinion in the matter.\u201d Now, I had a great opinion in the matter\u2014I knew the Weight Watcher<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2019s menu. I knew how many points were in everything at those fast food places. I knew I wanted to go to Taco Bell<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, but they all wanted to go to Burger King<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or wherever it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I, for three weeks, did not make any decisions\u2014I just said, \u201cI have no opinion in the matter.\u201d If it was something\u2014of course, if it was deciding what outfit to wear that day, I decided about that, but when there were decisions being made by multiple people, I checked out and said: \u201cDo what you want. I\u2019ve no opinion in the matter.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what made this extremely painful is that this three-week dare came right smack during the holiday season. It was time to decorate the home for the holidays. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy 12 year-old Spencer is an all-over-the-map, crazy, kind of artistic kind. He decided that he wanted to help with the decorations. None of the other kids wanted to\u2014they weren\u2019t home\u2014and my husband was gone at work. Because I couldn\u2019t make any decisions, I let Spencer take the lead and decorate the exterior of the house, the tree, and the interior of the house any way he wanted to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are biting your tongue big time! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh, man! You must know, I am\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Biting the tongue while speaking] \u201cI have no opinion in the matter.\u201d I can hear it now. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I still have the scar, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, what made this extremely painful is that I have <em>very<\/em> strong opinions about what the house should look like at Christmas. I have bins of decorations, labeled with exactly where they go\u2014on which mantel, on which floor, on which tree, on which bush. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> I know exactly, because I don\u2019t like to have excess stuff in my house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking about control!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> A little bit. So I had these bins, and I pulled them out. He didn\u2019t read anything on the side! He just started going at it! He thought he should have some blinking lights, some non-blinking, some colored, some white\u2014no rhyme or reason to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said we had a little bit of a budget\u2014we could go out and buy a few new things. Now, I would have gone to a nice antique store and gotten some retro\u2014kind of 1950s-looking decorations to put in the house\u2014or scatter some post cards on the coffee table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh no! He went to the dollar store and bought the most <em>hideous<\/em> candy canes I\u2019ve ever seen, that lit up, and we put them along our walkway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> You\u2019re not bitter; are you? You sound like it was totally fine with you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> Oh, our house was just a disaster\u2014I thought, \u201cNo sane woman has a house that looks like this when people drive by\u201d; but, apparently, I\u2019ve been declared \u201cinsane\u201d because I let him do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven when we got to the interior of the house, I thought, \u201cMaybe he\u2019ll back off and say, \u2018Oh, I don\u2019t want to decorate anymore, Mom. You can do the tree.\u2019\u201d Oh no! He wanted to clump ornaments here together instead of evenly spaced-out. Again, no rhyme and reason to anything that he did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we were done, and we were sitting on the couch, I was enjoying a cup of coffee \/ he was enjoying some hot cocoa. Of course, I was kind of scheming, \u201cShould I kind of say something that\u2019ll make him let me rearrange it?\u201d But I didn\u2019t. I sat there and let him play the music he wanted\u2014you know, <em>Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer<\/em> instead of, you know, Josh Groban\u2014like I wanted to play. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat there, still, in my mind, trying to figure out how I could go back and get my way. He looked at me, with the most beautiful look on his content face, and said: \u201cMom, today was the funnest day ever. I love you!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Aw.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> And that was worth it\u2014to hear my child express his love to me\u2014that, for once, I let him have an opinion in the matter. For once, I didn\u2019t micro-manage. For once, I thought he had a good idea!\u2014because that\u2019s how I spun it to him: \u201cHey, great idea! Sure!\u201d Inside, I\u2019m like, \u201cI can\u2019t believe he\u2019s doing this!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I still look back to that Christmas. That Christmas was the most memorable Christmas ever. I stuck to my decision-making fast all through Christmas. I didn\u2019t have an opinion about what cookies we would make or what we would serve for Christmas dinner\u2014I let the kids pick all of it. They still think of that as the best Christmas ever because they got to have a say in the matter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause how it had gone before on decorating night was Mom barking out orders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEverybody helped for about 20 minutes. Then, they all split the seasonal scene and went to a different place in the house because no one wanted to be around Mom because she was so picky about what the decorations looked like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, fast-forward to today\u2014it\u2019s been three\/four years now\u2014I don\u2019t have to have it perfect. I don\u2019t always just let him do whatever\u2014he\u2019s not really into that anymore\u2014but I\u2019ve kind of scaled back. I ask people if they want to help. If they do, I don\u2019t correct them. I just let them put it out. It doesn\u2019t matter if it doesn\u2019t go from the right\u2014or doesn\u2019t come from the right bin\u2014that was labeled where exactly it should go. I\u2019ve relaxed a lot more and realized that people and relationships are much more important than me getting my own way with what the house looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause, at the root of that was: \u201cWhy did I have to have the house look a certain way? Was it really because I liked it that way?\u201d Kind of, but really it was more so that I could impress everybody with how great my house looked. I would rather have happy, content children, who know that they\u2019re a part of this family, and they\u2019re wanted, and they\u2019re loved, and their opinions matter, than have a house that looks like it came out of a magazine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, the challenge to all of our listeners, to deal with control\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Three weeks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014is to go cold turkey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> It is, if it\u2019s a real issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is rehab.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is\u2014get off the drug, see how bad things really are, and then, observe, and listen; and keep biting your tongue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> And look at your own self and your own heart, at the end of that\u2014that three-week fast\u2014I realized that I was not so on-edge. I was not so bossy. I felt like my relationships in my family were calmer. My kids\u2019 contributions and my husband\u2019s opinions became endearing to me instead of annoying to me. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a <em>lot less work<\/em>, actually, for me to not have to always be in control. I don\u2019t think we\u2014women or men who struggle with this\u2014realize that, when we have to be in control of everything and we never delegate anything, we just make more work for ourselves!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; I want all of our listeners who do this\u2014who go three weeks\u2014we\u2019re talking tough dealing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014alright?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u2014to go to our Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014say, \u201cI\u2019m in for the next three weeks.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m in,\u201d and then, report back at the end of the three weeks your two-paragraph summary, along with your favorite takeaway from the three weeks. We\u2019ll see what happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got to take some time, before we\u2019re done, to find out from Nicole: \u201cYou have gotten better in this area?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure, but I know that I\u2019ve learned a lot about surrendering my way to God\u2019s way. So my takeaway for the listeners is just a simple exercise\u2014just a way to start your day. You can just put your hands down, with your palms facing down, and just pray to the Lord, with your palms facing down, thinking about the things that belong in His arena, which is pretty much your whole life: \u201cLord, I surrender\u2014this person, this situation, this circumstance, this thing that I really want to go a certain way, this desire, this dream,\u201d or whatever that is. It just might be a few seconds every day, but it\u2019s an expression of, \u201cI want the Lord to actually be the Lord of my life every single day.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is the palms down?\u2014why palms down?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Palms down\u2014drop it \/ drop it. I\u2019ve prayed before and found my fingers curling\u2014as I\u2019ve just left my hands there, and as I\u2019ve detailed out some of those things, in the Lord\u2019s presence, I\u2019ve felt my fingers curling\u2014just really letting your hands open. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen you just turn your hands up\u2014so your palms are facing up\u2014and just pray: \u201cLord, I want to receive Your goodness today. I want to receive Your mercy and Your Lordship in my life. I want You to be the Boss of my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have you just described Chapter 4: \u201cSurrendering the Kung-Fu Control Grip\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> I have; yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh. This was revealed right here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This is powerful. If you do \u201cSurrendering the Kung-Fu Control Grip,\u201d add your name\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to the Facebook page?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014to the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Facebook page.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What if you do both?\u2014no decisions <em>plus<\/em> the Kung-Fu thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Whistle] That\u2019s serious!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> Well, you\u2019re probably going to need the prayer if you\u2019re actually going to try to go \u201cno decisions.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> You\u2019re going to need daily or hourly help and strength.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, ladies, you\u2019ve given us a lot to think about and, certainly, some challenges. Three weeks! I\u2019m really proud of you, Karen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole:<\/strong> That\u2019s a long time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Karen, that\u2019s quite the deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope folks will get their books. I really do. I think it\u2019d make for some great reading, and they may need it in the midst of the three weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; these are the kind of books that you\u2019d get and go through, maybe, with a group of girlfriends\u2014all of you get together and read through these books. You can order either book from us at FamilyLifeToday.com. The one Nicole has written is called <em>She\u2019s Got Issues: Seriously Good News for Stressed-Out, Secretly Scared Control Freaks Like Us<\/em>. And the one Karen Ehman has written is called <em>Let. It. Go.<\/em> I said it that way because there\u2019s a period at the end of each word: <em>Let. It. Go.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got both books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go online\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. You can order the books from us, online; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order the books from us by phone. Once again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com. Phone number: 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, do you know what Jonathan and Danielle Guti\u00e9rrez were doing four years ago today? They live in Salinas, California. Four years ago today, they looked each other in the eye and they said, \u201cI do,\u201d and became husband and wife. Today is their fourth anniversary. We want to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d They listen to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>on KKMC. They\u2019ve been to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. In fact, they have hosted <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. These guys are starting off right and getting their marriage foundation built well underneath them. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Guti\u00e9rrezes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all about celebrating anniversaries, here at FamilyLife, because every anniversary that\u2019s celebrated is another indication that your marriage is going the distance\u2014that you\u2019re honoring your covenant, that you\u2019re doing marriage the way God designed it to be done, and that you\u2019re giving each other a lot of grace in the process. Here at FamilyLife, we want to provide you with the practical biblical hope and help you need so that your marriage can go the distance and so that your family can thrive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to thank those of you who partner with us in making all that we do happen\u2014those of you who support this ministry with donations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can make a donation today, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can call if you\u2019d like to make a donation today\u2014our phone number is 1-800-358-6329. You can also mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your partnership. We do appreciate every donation we receive, here at FamilyLife. We\u2019re grateful for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you have a great weekend! Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about how you can make your marriage and your family an emotionally safe place. Joshua Straub is going to be here to help us with that. I hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2013 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304086","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304086"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304086"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304086"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304086"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304086"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304086"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304086"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}