{"id":304050,"date":"2016-06-21T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-06-21T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/forgiving-the-one-you-love\/"},"modified":"2016-06-21T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-06-21T15:00:00","slug":"forgiving-the-one-you-love","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/forgiving-the-one-you-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiving the One You Love"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pastor Bryan Loritts agrees that forgiveness is irrational and costly, but reminds us that it&#8217;s also incredibly liberating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-06-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.5M","filesize_raw":"25686145","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2908],"tags":[2699],"podcast_series":[8148],"cwp_profile":[8819],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304050","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness","tag-forgiveness","podcast_series-forgiveness-seventy-times-seven","cwp_profile-bryan-loritts","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304050\/forgiving-the-one-you-love","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304050\/forgiving-the-one-you-love","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BhIjHOI4IH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/forgiving-the-one-you-love\/\">Forgiving the One You Love<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/forgiving-the-one-you-love\/embed\/#?secret=BhIjHOI4IH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Forgiving the One You Love&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BhIjHOI4IH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Pastor Bryan Loritts agrees that forgiveness is irrational and costly, but reminds us that it's also incredibly liberating.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-06-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In the Book of First John, the Bible says that if a man says he loves God but hates his brother, he\u2019s a liar. Pastor Bryan Loritts applies that to marriage and asks the question, \u201cWhat if you say you love God, but you have anger or hatred for your husband or your wife?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan: <\/strong>It is a completely American illusion to minimize our faith to just \u201cMe and Jesus,\u201d treat our spouse like garbage, and to think we can walk up into worship and \u201cMe and Jesus are okay.\u201d You\u2019re not okay. Hear me\u2014you and God aren\u2019t right when you and your spouse aren\u2019t right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, June 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. So, how does a couple move from conflict to joy and reconciliation? We\u2019ll hear from Pastor Bryan Loritts about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. You know, it occurs to me that there are a lot of people who would agree, theoretically, with the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation for a relationship to really thrive. Notice I said they agree with that <em>theoretically<\/em>. When it comes right down to the application side of that, they get a little stiff-necked and stubborn in how that gets applied.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So there are a couple of questions I\u2019d ask somebody just to see if you happen to be in the category Bob\u2019s talking about here today. One is: \u201cWhen\u2019s the last time you asked your spouse to forgive you for something specifically you did or you didn\u2019t do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, \u201cWhen\u2019s the last time when your spouse asked you to forgive them that you gave up the right to punish them \/ that you forgave <em>them<\/em> in return?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t see how two people \/ two human beings can live in such close proximity in this thing called marriage\u2014especially Christian marriage\u2014without, at many points during a month, having to revisit the subject of forgiveness and say: \u201cYou know, I\u2019m sorry. I overstated that.\u201d I mean, I said something to Barbara the other day that was a knuckle-head statement\u2014it was just <em>stupid<\/em>. She called me on it \/ she hardly let me get it out of my mouth! [Laughter] I wish she\u2019d allowed me to just birthed it fully first, but I just barely got it out and she nailed me. I said, \u201cOh, oh, okay! You know, I\u2019m sorry. Yes, yes\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI exaggerated that a bit\u2014overstated it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThat\u2019s not correct. You\u2019re right.\u201d I had to ask her\u2014I said: \u201cWill you forgive me for saying that? That was hurtful. I\u2019m sorry I said that.\u201d Well, when\u2019s the last time you did that in your marriage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re about to hear a <em>great<\/em> message from this year\u2019s <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise\u2014which was a week-long cruise in the Caribbean\u2014by Bryan Loritts, who is a very good friend \/ pastor of Abundant Life Christian Fellowship in the Bay area. Bryan knows a little bit about forgiveness. He\u2019s been married to Korie for a number of years\u2014has three sons. They\u2019re a real family\u2014they have a lot going on. He\u2019s not perfect \/ they\u2019re not perfect, but he really ministered to the audience on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; we\u2019ve already heard this week the first part of his message about the substance of forgiveness\u2014what it means, and what it is, and why we\u2019re required to forgive. Today, we\u2019re going to hear what that looks like \/ how you apply it\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014what do you do to seek and grant forgiveness in marriage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd let me just mention\u2014because we\u2019re getting really close to selling out next year\u2019s cruise\u2014we\u2019re going to be heading out of New Orleans Valentine\u2019s week\u2014headed to two spots in Mexico\u2014along with Kevin DeYoung, and Paul David Tripp, and H.B. Charles. Michael, Jr.\u2019s going to be there \/ Jeremy Camp is going to be singing. It\u2019s going to be a great getaway week, but we have only a few cabins left. If you are interested in joining us and being a part of next year\u2019s cruise, give us a call at 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI need more information about the cruise.\u201d We do have some special offers going on this week and next week as we continue toward a sell-out. Give us a call today if you\u2019re interested in being on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise for 2017.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here\u2019s Bryan Loritts with Part Two of his message on the subject of forgiveness from this year\u2019s cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan: <\/strong>I want to give you, from this text, three principles of forgiveness. The first principle is\u2014hear me\u2014\u201cForgiveness is always irrational.\u201d\u00a0 If it doesn\u2019t have a little crazy to it, it\u2019s not forgiveness. What\u2019s rational is to keep score. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs this a safe place for me to confess my sins to you? I love mafia movies\u2014and I\u2019m sensing some judgment in the room. [Laughter] I love mafia movies. One of my favorite mafia movies, of all time, is a movie that came out in 1987 called <em>The Untouchables<\/em>. Oh, you want to \u201cAmen\u201d that now; right? [Laughter] You were just judging me two minutes ago and \u201cAmen! Preach it, brother\u201d; alright? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn this movie, <em>The Untouchables<\/em>, starring Sean Connery and Kevin Costner\u2014loosely based on a true story\u2014they\u2019re about to raid Al Capone\u2019s safe house. Right before they raid Al Capone\u2019s safe house, here is\u2014Sean Connery stops Kevin Costner. He says: \u201cLook, before we go in there, I just want you to understand we\u2019re about to stir up a hornet\u2019s nest\u2014we\u2019re about to cause a lot of trouble. Here\u2019s what you need to understand\u2014if they pull a knife out on us, we pull a gun out on them. If they send one of ours to the hospital, we send one of theirs to the morgue,\u201d\u2014kind of this tit for tat, back and forth, never let it go \/ up the ante. Sean Connery says, \u201cThat\u2019s the Chicago way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know the problem with many of our marriages? Many of our marriages function according to the \u201cChicago way\u201d\u2014tit for tat \/ \u201cYou get me, I get you back.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us\u2014maybe it\u2019s very aggressive: \u201cYou do something to me; I\u2019m going to lash back out on you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKorie and I have a great friend of ours. When we were living in L.A. at the time, she was having some time in which she was trying to merge onto the 405 freeway. The woman in the lane in which she was trying to merge into wouldn\u2019t let her over and almost ran her off the road. Our friend just couldn\u2019t let that go\u2014she is ticked off! She speeds up next to this person, later on down the freeway, going about 70\/75 miles per hour. She motions to the woman who cut her off\u2014she motions to her to roll down her window. Going about 70\/75 miles per hour, down the 405, our friend takes a fistful of change and just chucks it at her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of us have some of that in us\u2014slam doors, curse, scream\u2014others of us are way too passive. We\u2019re not going to show you that you got to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou do something crazy to us and we just kind of respond with a sanctified, \u201cOkay.\u201d [Laughter] Some of us begin to kind of emotionally moonwalk\u2014give the silent treatment. However you want to dress it up\u2014whether it\u2019s aggressive \/ you\u2019re going for it like a shark, or you\u2019re withdrawing like a turtle\u2014it\u2019s unforgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing Jesus wants us to understand is forgiveness is always irrational. What\u2019s rational is to keep score.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond thing I want you to understand about forgiveness is: \u201cForgiveness is always costly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s this king\u2014and I\u2019m thinking about the king\u2014he just lets the guy go! \u201cNow, I understand, king. You can\u2019t get back your 10,000 talents, but you can get <em>something<\/em> back. For you to just let him go, literally, has financial implications on you. He is literally doing damage to you financially \/ it is costly.\u201d That, I think, is Jesus\u2019 point. If it doesn\u2019t hurt, it\u2019s probably not forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnybody here ever heard of Corrie Ten Boom? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bryan: <\/strong>Her wonderful book\u2014<em>The Hiding Place<\/em>\u2014talk about a <em>powerful<\/em> story of forgiveness. Corrie Ten Boom\u2014I encourage you\u2014if you haven\u2019t read her, read her. She was taken into a Nazi concentration camp, not because she was Jewish, but because her family harbored Jews. While there, she witnesses the murder of her sister, and the Nazi concentration camp guard who played a role in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s Corrie Ten Boom\u2014she notices this horrific act. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe ends up making it out. Years later, she\u2019s teaching at a church. At the end of teaching at a church, she\u2019s down front, shaking hands. In the middle of shaking hands, a person walks down the aisle, yelling her name: \u201cHey, Corrie! Corrie! Do you remember me? I am a Christian now! Do you forgive me?\u201d She can\u2019t believe who it is\u2014it\u2019s the Nazi concentration camp guard who played a role in murdering her sister.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to what she says\u2014she writes: \u201cI had to do it \/ I knew that. The message that \u2018God forgives\u2019 has a prior condition that we forgive those who have injured us. \u2018Jesus, help me,\u2019 I prayed silently. \u2018I can lift my hand\u2014I can do that much. You supply the feeling.\u2019\u201d I love this\u2014she says, \u201c\u2018I don\u2019t feel like doing it.\u2019 So woodenly, mechanically,\u201d\u2014she writes\u2014\u201cI thrust my hand into the one outstretched to me; and as I did it, an incredible thing took place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThe courage started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands, and then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes. \u2018I forgive you, brother!\u2019 I cried with all my heart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love this!\u00a0 But she says, \u201cI didn\u2019t feel like doing it, but I allowed my faith to override my feelings.\u201d Hear me\u2014if you get nothing else, I say\u2014get this one truism to the Christian life: \u201cWhen going through life\u2019s difficulties, always let what you know trump how you <em>feel<\/em>. If you wait to forgive, only when you <em>feel<\/em> like it, you will never get around to forgiving.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen what does she say at the end? \u201cI had never known God\u2019s love so intensely.\u201d Watch this\u2014she says, \u201cWhen I let my faith override my feelings and I forgave, God and I, and our relationship, went to another dimension.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHear me\u2014you and God aren\u2019t right when you and your spouse aren\u2019t right. It is a completely American illusion to minimize our faith to just \u201cMe and Jesus,\u201d treat our spouse like garbage, and to think we can walk up into worship and \u201cMe and Jesus are okay.\u201d You\u2019re not okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s some Bible\u2014Peter says, \u201cHusbands, live with your wives in an understanding way\u201d\u2014keep reading\u2014\u201cso that your prayers may not be hindered.\u201d There are times when God hadn\u2019t heard me because I have not lived with my bride in an understanding way. Jesus says, \u201cIf you\u2019re in worship, and you remember that your brother has something against you,\u201d\u2014He says\u2014\u201cleave your gift at the altar\u201d\u2014stop your work! Now, as a pastor, I love that\u2014\u201cleave your gift at the altar\u201d\u2014but He says\u2014\u201cleave your gift at the altar. Go and make it right.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tForgiveness is irrational. Forgiveness is costly. But thirdly: \u201cForgiveness is freeing.\u201d When this person\u2019s forgiven, what happens? The prison door is thrown open\u2014there\u2019s freedom! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat does this joker do? Having just been forgiven by the king of China\u2019s debt, he finds someone who owes a hundred denarii\u2014chump change: \u201cPay what you owe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe king goes, \u201cAre you kidding me?\u201d His act of unforgiveness lands him in jail.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen there\u2019s forgiveness, he\u2019s free. When there\u2019s unforgiveness, he\u2019s locked up. Hear me\u2014forgiveness is the greatest gift\u2014not that you give your spouse, or your dad, or your mother-in-law\u2014it\u2019s the greatest gift you give <em>yourself<\/em>. [Applause] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe used to have an alarm system. At night, right before I\u2019d get into bed, I\u2019d go to the pad on the alarm system. I\u2019d type in the number and hit this little button that says \u201cStay.\u201d When you do that, you know two things happen: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne\u2014those on the outside can\u2019t get close to you on the inside without tripping up the alarm\u2014they\u2019re held at a distance. Secondly, those on the inside can\u2019t get outside without tripping up the alarm\u2014it\u2019s like we\u2019re trapped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I\u2019ve been in pastoral ministry long enough to spot people with forgiveness issues a mile away. You can\u2019t get close to them. Words like \u201cintimacy,\u201d \u201cvulnerability,\u201d \u201ctransparency\u201d\u2014they\u2019re foreign words. Why?\u2014because, if you peel back the layers, something happened to you and you set \u201cStay\u201d on the track pad of your heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou said, \u201cThat\u2019ll never happen to me again.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it\u2019s interesting\u2014we\u2019re talking forgiveness within the context of marriage, but I want to kind of zoom out a little bit because we all come into marriage with baggage. Maybe some of that baggage is unforgiveness issues you had with other people that weren\u2019t resolved; and because it\u2019s not resolved when you said, \u201cI do,\u201d you don\u2019t know oneness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us in this room have daddy issues: \u201cHe wasn\u2019t there \/ didn\u2019t show up!\u201d I have a really good buddy of mine just going through his second divorce. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou hear his story: His dad was a truck driver\u2014he\u2019s the youngest of like five boys\u2014his dad promised each boy a ride in the truck. He did it with the four brothers\u2014but on this day my friend, who was eight years old, was waiting on his dad to show up with the truck\u2014his dad, not only never shows up, he never comes back home. He runs off with another woman on the day he was supposed to pick him up. You talk to his two ex-wives\u2014they\u2019ll say, \u201cWe never connected,\u201d because my friend never <em>dealt<\/em> with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn a room this size, I\u2019m sure there are stories of sexual abuse. I want you to hear me\u2014forgiveness and justice can go, hand in hand. God is a forgiving God and a just God. The only thing God says is: \u201cVengeance is Mine. Let Me handle it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I\u2019m not making light of this. [Applause] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you don\u2019t deal with your stuff and you say, \u201cI do,\u201d\u2014I was preaching this message years ago. A 80-something-year-old man came to me, with tears in his eyes, and said: \u201cI need to write my father a note, and let him know I forgive him. He\u2019s been dead for 60-something years.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou will never know oneness in marriage while hitting \u201cStay\u201d on the track pad of your hearts. Heavy message\u2014I know. I\u2019m a firm believer that the question of preaching is: \u201cWhat do I do with what I just heard?\u201d Jesus, in our text, says one of the strongest witnesses that His children have to a dying world is we forgive, and forgive, and forgive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cFather, we love You. We praise You. In Jesus\u2019 name, Amen.\u201d [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, that\u2019s Part Two of a message from our friend, Bryan Loritts, given onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise earlier this year, and a message that\u2014I have to tell you, Dennis\u2014got a standing ovation when that message was over. A lot of people were profoundly impacted by what he shared from the Scriptures.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It resonated with the audience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust to review what he said: \u201cForgiveness is irrational\u201d\u2014it demands you to step out in faith. Secondly: \u201cForgiveness is costly.\u201d We look back at the cross\u2014what did it cost God? Well, it\u2019s going to cost us to forgive, moving forward. And finally: \u201cForgiveness is freeing.\u201d It allows a relationship to develop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t forgive, you\u2019re going to get stuck. It\u2019s why we, as followers of Christ, need to liberally practice asking for forgiveness, and forgiving other people, and not get caught up in the gnats of life, trying to punish other people for how they disappoint us. We need to be liberal in our application of the gospel of Jesus Christ as we attempt to love others.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, I remember when Bryan Loritts presented this message. It was back in February on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise. I think, for a number of couples who were with us, this was a breakthrough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting\u2014because the couples who come on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise are in all different places in their marriage\u2014there are some who are wondering if there\u2019s really any hope left for their marriage. There are others who come thinking everything\u2019s okay; and they learn: \u201cThere are still some ways that we can grow and improve. We have a good marriage, but there are ways to make it even better.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat comes from the kind of interaction that happens as you listen to speakers like Bryan Loritts. I\u2019m thinking about the upcoming cruise, which is February 13<sup>th <\/sup>through the 18<sup>th<\/sup> in 2017. We\u2019re going to be leaving from the port of New Orleans and going out from Monday until Saturday. Onboard with us we have Paul Tripp, Kevin DeYoung, H.B. Charles, Michael, Jr. David Phelps is going to be onboard; Jeremy Camp is going to be with us\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s a great lineup. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mention all of that because we are at the point where we\u2019re nearing a sell-out. I know we still have seven-and-a-half months before we sail, but this happens this time of year. We\u2019re somewhere between 75 and 80 percent sold out for the upcoming cruise, and our prices for cruise cabins will go up on June 25<sup>th<\/sup>. If you want to take advantage of special pricing, and if you\u2019d like to make sure you can secure a cabin, you need to call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in the cruise.\u201d We can answer any questions you have \/ get you registered over the phone. Again, the way to take advantage of the special rates is to make sure you call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also get more information on the cruise when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the appropriate link. We do hope you\u2019ll join us. It\u2019s a great celebration of marriage and a great time for couples to commemorate, maybe, a special anniversary or a special milestone in your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, more information is online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY with any questions or to get registered for this year\u2019s cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, \u201cHappy anniversary!\u201d today to Randall and Melanie Burns, who live in Houlton, Maine. The Burns are celebrating 30 years together as husband and wife\u2014we just want to congratulate them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think anniversaries matter \/ we think your anniversary matters. We have an anniversary coming up this summer as we celebrate 40 years as a ministry. We\u2019re taking this year to commemorate all of the anniversaries that have happened because of the partnership that we have with listeners, like you, who support this ministry and make everything that happens at FamilyLife possible. Thanks for linking arms with us. We appreciate those of you who are Legacy Partners and those of you who will give, from time to time. Great to have you on the team as, together, we celebrate all that God is doing through the ministry of FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about God\u2019s design\u2014His plan for marital oneness \/ for intimacy\u2014and how we can better understand that. We\u2019re going to hear from Brian and Jen Goins tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304050","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304050"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304050"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304050"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304050"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}