{"id":304022,"date":"2016-06-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-06-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-truth-shall-set-you-free\/"},"modified":"2016-06-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-06-01T15:00:00","slug":"the-truth-shall-set-you-free","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-truth-shall-set-you-free\/","title":{"rendered":"The Truth Shall Set You Free"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dan Allender tells sexual abuse victims to find hope in God, and reminds them that they are not alone. Restoration won&#8217;t begin, however, until they acknowledge they are broken.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-06-01.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.94M","filesize_raw":"24051894","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2873],"tags":[6012,6013,4395,4374],"podcast_series":[8143],"cwp_profile":[3437],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304022","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-abuse-vitctim","tag-freedom-from-abuse","tag-healing-from-abuse","tag-sexual-abuse","podcast_series-healing-the-wounded-heart","cwp_profile-dan-allender","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304022\/the-truth-shall-set-you-free","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304022\/the-truth-shall-set-you-free","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"JnKDMz9m0r\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-truth-shall-set-you-free\/\">The Truth Shall Set You Free<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-truth-shall-set-you-free\/embed\/#?secret=JnKDMz9m0r\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Truth Shall Set You Free&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"JnKDMz9m0r\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-06-01.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-06-01.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For those who have experienced childhood sexual abuse, the path to healing is a path that you do not walk alone. Here\u2019s Dr. Dan Allender. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got to be in community. Eventually, you\u2019ve got to be able to walk with somebody who\u2019s been on this path many, many times before you. That can be a therapist \/ that can be a pastor\u2014it can be a friend who has done some great work prior. All I\u2019m saying is\u2014the harm came in relationship, and redemption is through relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There is, indeed, a path to redemption for those who have experienced the horror of childhood sexual abuse, and we\u2019ll discover that path together today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. Folks who listen regularly to this program know that there are two things that we\u2019re going to talk about a lot. One of them is how you find help, and the other is how you find hope. Today, that\u2019s where we want to direct our conversation around\u2014the area of sexual abuse as a part of your past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we find both of them in the Scriptures. That\u2019s what the Bible is all about\u2014it\u2019s about calling us to a life of faith. The object of your faith is more real than the chair you\u2019re sitting in, the car you are driving in, the office you are working in. The Bible is the truth of God\u2019s Word and will guide you in handling issues like sexual abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have with us, again, back for another round of discussion here\u2014and this time I want to talk to Dr. Dan Allender about how we can recover from sexual abuse. Welcome back to the broadcast, Dan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis. Thank you, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dan has written a book called <em>Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation<\/em>. He\u2019s a counselor \/ a speaker. In fact, you and Becky invest a few days, if not a few weeks, of your life each year around sex trafficking and children who are being abused. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>We do. We\u2019ve got that privilege of being able to work with folks who are in the field, working all over the world. Our two primary countries that we work with are Ethiopia and Thailand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And how prevalent is this sex trafficking, Dan?\u00a0 Just give us an idea of what\u2019s happening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Let\u2019s just say, as a country ends up coming into great upheaval, the result is women and children are being sold at a regular basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you\u2019ve got exiles, as we have all over the world, one of the primary means by which they are misused is being sold into sex slave trade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Interesting. Well, this week, we\u2019ve been talking about the subject of sexual abuse. What I want to focus on today is helping someone who has heard our broadcast and says: \u201cYou know, I think I was sexually abused. Where do I start, and how do I go through a process of finding the hope you\u2019re talking about in your book?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And we should say, \u201cThis is achievable.\u201d\u00a0 You experienced sexual abuse as a child. Would you say you are at a point in your life where you have healed from what you went through?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. Now, let me add a phrase; and that is, the work of God in healing always opens our heart to even more healing. So, it\u2019s not like it\u2019s healed and done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s healed and open to more of the work of restoration. So, is it possible to heal?\u00a0 Oh, He\u2019s <em>committed<\/em> in <em>every<\/em> portion of life to our restoration\u2014He\u2019s come to bind up the broken-hearted \/ He\u2019s come to set the captive free. If that\u2019s the case, then, freedom and a sense of wholeness is what God is about through the work of redemption. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>If the tomb is empty \/ if Jesus Christ has defeated death, He\u2019s alive today. He can meet people in their state of brokenness, and He can make them whole. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, death never gets the final word, nor does trauma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, let\u2019s take a scenario. Somebody listening to today\u2019s program is aware of the fact that they experienced childhood sexual abuse. Maybe, they\u2019ve been thinking for a long time: \u201cYes, I experienced that. I\u2019ve compartmentalized that. I\u2019ve put that over here to the side. I\u2019m functioning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s not having any impact on me. I\u2019ll just leave that vault locked up and get along with my life.\u201d\u00a0 And here comes Dan Allender, saying, \u201cNo, we need to go open that vault.\u201d They go: \u201cWhy?\u00a0 I\u2019m doing fine. Just leave me alone.\u201d\u00a0 What would you say to them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>What I\u2019d say is: \u201c<em>Fine<\/em> is not wholeheartedness. <em>Fine<\/em> is not freedom and joy.\u201d\u00a0 Look, this life bears suffering; but it bears the presence of the Living God, who intends to restore our hearts back to what we would have been in Eden.\u201d\u00a0 Will it be perfect until we\u2019re with Him?\u00a0 No; but that trajectory of movement into life\u2014I want <em>life<\/em>. I want more life for people than mere\u2014I like the word, fine; but I like it for the pens I use\u2014not for a description of my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But Dan, as the person looks at the vault that Bob is describing there and goes: \u201cIf I open that vault, it may overcome me. It was so evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m so afraid of it, ashamed of it, plagued by it. I may be overcome by it, again.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. The power of God is with you to engage this. You\u2019re not to do this alone, but you\u2019re not to do it fast. You\u2019re not to try and take on the whole thing all at once. It\u2019s a matter of: \u201cWill you at least admit there are some residual effects going on in your life <em>today<\/em>?\u00a0 In that sense, let\u2019s talk about the fact that you are suspicious. There\u2019s a lot of joy you don\u2019t seem to have. You push back. You\u2019re a little more aggressive or a little more compliant. There are lots of characteristics that do not fully reveal the person you\u2019re meant to be. Let\u2019s go after that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, the person listening goes: \u201cOkay, so, maybe, our marital intimacy is not everything it could be; and maybe, this does have some bearing on that; and I do get angry at times without even understanding why I\u2019m getting angry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay, so, maybe, some of this is seeping out of the vault anyway, and I better go in there and clean it up; but what is step one?\u2014 who goes with me?\u2014and how do I begin a process that is going to get me to healing and joy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, the first is: \u201cYou cannot change what you will not name.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to name\u2014even a simple phrase like, \u201cMy uncle sexually abused me.\u201d And will you now allow yourself to return to some of that harm and allow Jesus to begin guiding through a process of restoration? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat happened?\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s the problem\u2014when abuse occurs \/ trauma occurs\u2014because, when we remember\u2014in a state of high anxiety\u2014we\u2019re actually, literally, re-traumatizing ourselves. The phrase is from Romans 2, verse 4: \u201cIt is the kindness of God that leads to repentance.\u201d\u00a0 If you can\u2019t move into your past with the presence of the kindness of God, then, in part, I would say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThen, keep compartmentalizing because you are going to harm yourself to the degree that you return to that story, attempt to tell it, attempt to remember it; but you have not done so with the <em>presence<\/em> of kindness to lead you into it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, it\u2019s not going to be flipping a switch\u2014you\u2019re going to start a journey. You call it wandering\u2014it may take a while. It\u2019s going to engage encountering God in the midst of pain \/ maybe, even reliving some memories of what took place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>It will require that you relive, and that is, let you, as an adult, go into what you suffered as an eight-year-old, twelve-year-old, or fourteen-year-old. You will feel divided\u2014meaning, you\u2019re an adult; but when you remember, many of the same emotions. Will you let Jesus come to that very young eight-year-old?\u2014and begin the process, with kindness, of remembering \/ knowing that remembering is probably best done by paper and pencil or by computer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not just sitting there, thinking, but actually writing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we have found through the research is\u2014the more you are willing to write about the harm\u2014writing, itself, is slower. It requires more thought to be able to engage, but it also allows deep emotion to come. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you are hitting something I wanted to clarify at this point. A person can begin this journey by himself or herself, obviously, in the presence of God. They can write this down. Do they need to intersect with another person in this process as they go along the way?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I think you begin alone, but you do not remain alone. That is, you need to be able to share your story with at least a few others \/ or one other, who can then help you read stories that are fragmented. And that\u2019s one of the other things we know neurologically. You won\u2019t have a full narrative\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014beginning, middle, and an end. It\u2019ll be more fragments, more images, smells, senses. Eventually, they have to be put into a larger meaningful whole. That will only come in conversation with others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, there are some listening, who are going: \u201cThis sounds a little like this psycho stuff. You go back to your wounded inner child and you sit there.\u201d\u00a0 They go: \u201cI read this verse that says, \u201cForgetting what lies behind, I press on.\u2019\u00a0 So, that\u2019s what I\u2019m doing.\u201d\u00a0 How do you respond to that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, notice that in that verse, in Philippians 3, Paul remembers\u2014he returns to being a Benjamite. He returns to being trained by Gamaliel. He remembers, but what he is saying is: \u201cI don\u2019t let my past become the basis of my righteousness,\u201d\u2014or another way of putting it is\u2014\u201cI don\u2019t let it become an excuse.\u201d\u00a0 It is only the righteousness of Christ that is the basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, inner child\u2014no, no, no\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019re not talking about a concept of an inner child. We\u2019re talking about: \u201cYou have memories.\u201d As you would care for a hurt foot, you need to care for your neurons that still hold particular patterns, and images, and memories. So, all we\u2019re saying is: \u201cNo, you need to care for your brain the way you do for your cough or what you do for a hurt foot.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what else do we do on the journey?\u00a0 I mean, the journey\u2019s going to take you through some dark places\u2014hopefully, to a brighter spot. Walk us through what\u2019s involved there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, here are the stones to cross this difficult river. I need to be able to grieve for myself, and let others grieve with me, and to receive that grief. Grief allows our hearts to become tender\u2014much more tender\u2014especially because we are so judgmental. We literally curse that twelve-year-old boy or that young eight-year-old girl. We curse her body \/ we curse how we felt in the arousal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrief begins to tenderize our hearts so that we can begin to see we\u2019re accusing \/ we join the abuser\u2014and in that cursing, we need to repent. In that grief, we begin that process of repenting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to become <em>angry<\/em> because what was done to us\u2014it is <em>vile<\/em>. When Jesus says, \u201cIt would be better for you to hang a millstone around the neck of the person who brought harm to my little one,\u201d you better enter into the <em>anger<\/em> of Jesus against the abuser and the harm of this culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What is the one who was abused needing to repent of because they\u2019re the victim in this?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>But they have often chosen, unwittingly, to often do more harm to themselves through their self-hatred, through their judgment, through their cursing of their own body. They\u2019ve repeated the harm of the abuse. We\u2019re not repenting, thankfully, over having been abused; but we\u2019re repenting over the lack of kindness, grief, and honor that we\u2019ve allowed ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrief and anger are meant, eventually, to take us to being able to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re saying: \u201cIf I took my abuse and put it in that vault and sealed it up, I need to repent of putting it away and not confronting it as the evil it was.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. No more than you would say, \u201cMy whole house is given to God except this room.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>You want the <em>whole<\/em> person to be given over to Him. As grief and anger begin to be addressed, the heart begins to open up to naming the harm in a way in which, \u201cI don\u2019t want to bear the harm, but I also want to be able to let go.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the key phrase for forgiveness: \u201cLetting go.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re calling it what it is. You\u2019re writing out your story\u2014maybe\u2014and again, this may be an iterative process, where you write it, and then you go back and you reread it, and you rewrite it. You don\u2019t just kind of turn it into some assignment and move on, but you go back and reconsider.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Reiterative is a key word because, every time you come back to that memory, there will be new things that you will be given. I do mean the word, given, because it will feel like it\u2019s an assault against you; but God is giving you more memory to be able to enter more grief, more anger, and more movement toward forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And then, you share your story with others\u2014with a husband or a wife \/ with others in your community of faith who\u2014and the sharing is so that they can participate in the grief?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, not only participate in the grief <em>and<\/em> the anger, but here is the dilemma with fragmented stories\u2014I need people to go: \u201cWhat? What happened then?\u201d \u201cOh, my goodness!\u00a0 There is this huge gap that I don\u2019t quite get,\u201d\u2014and you might not get, and we might not see for some season\u2014but at least, to be able to say, \u201cLet\u2019s make as much sense together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to read the Scripture together. You can read alone; but we grow as we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in one sense, iron sharpening iron. So, that same level of\u2014join the story in a way in which our joint curiosity, grief, and anger allows God to bring even more of the story to bear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dan, talk about who you let into the vault. Talk about being wise about who you invite into your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, you used the word\u2014and I think it\u2019s the key word\u2014safety. But what constitutes safety?\u00a0 Someone who delights in me \/ somebody who, when they are with me, I know they are <em>for<\/em> me <em>and<\/em> they have honor. They are not going to push me. They are not going to require a quick verse applied, and then, resolved. I need to know somebody really likes me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Is this going to mean going back and confronting my uncle, my father, my Sunday school teacher\u2014whoever did the harm?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think it\u2019s <em>required<\/em>; but I think it\u2019s, in many ways, something that God will bring you: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDo you want to?\u201d\u00a0 I know most people would go, \u201cOf course not!\u201d\u00a0 But it\u2019s a form of evangelism. It\u2019s a form of offering the grace of the kingdom of God to be able to say: \u201cYou harmed me. I want to engage with you about what it did to me\u2014how I have, in some sense, turned against my own heart\u2014and I\u2019ve begun to grow. I\u2019ve begun to see the goodness of God in the land of the living, and I would love to offer that to you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a lot of situations really do require engagement with the police. We\u2019ve got to broad-realm here because, if that abuser is continuing to have access to children or relatives, you <em>can\u2019t<\/em> presume, if you were abused by this person, that you were the <em>only<\/em> person abused. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>So, there is a complex world here that needs to be addressed, but the ultimate impulse is the freedom to want to bring goodness to this world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you are also assuming something, here at this point, Dan, I want you to just unpack a bit. Forgiveness, ultimately, I think, has to be offered to the person who has abused you\u2014forgiveness means you give up the right of punishment. That is a <em>massive<\/em> process\u2014to move all the way through forgiveness to the point where you are sharing the gospel \/ wanting to introduce them to Jesus Christ. I mean, that\u2019s quite a journey right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s a <em>marathon<\/em>. Often, we say to people on this journey, \u201cYou need to forgive.\u201d\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ll get there\u2014it\u2019s called crossing the finish line\u2014but: \u201cBe with me through the 26 miles.\u201d\u00a0 Again, so many times, we misunderstand that forgiveness is forgive and forget. There really is a letting go\u2014letting God engage this person without me having to either seek justice or pretend the relationship is as it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, forgiveness is: \u201cI won\u2019t be reconciled until you repent; but nonetheless, I let you go to God. I let your life be yours without it being something I take into myself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re talking about someone whom you may confront and who may not admit it or may be unwilling to admit that he has harmed you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Exactly. In which case, there will not be reconciliation, even though there is a place of forgiveness: \u201cIf your brother sins against you, rebuke them. If they repent, forgive.\u201d\u00a0 I understand, in that Luke 17, verse 3, passage, that it\u2019s not forgiveness in the sense of a stance of saying: \u201cI don\u2019t seek justice. I don\u2019t seek harm against you; but nonetheless, I want goodness for you.\u201d\u00a0 That will grow over a season if you allow yourself the healing of your own broken heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, a person who is on this journey you\u2019re talking about, Dan, needs someone who has been on the pathway ahead of them multiple times. That\u2019s what you\u2019ve done in putting this book together. You have really logically and sequentially laid out a path for someone who is wounded to find healing and hope. That\u2019s really what your life has been about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, the book is really meant to be used with a workbook because what we\u2019ve found, again, is\u2014writing changes the heart. The workbook is intended to be a guide to help you begin that process, chapter by chapter and stage by stage, to engage where your story is and where it\u2019s meant to be. In that sense, a book is good. I\u2019m proud of the book and hope God uses it greatly, but I also underline: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be in community. Eventually, you\u2019ve got to be able to walk with somebody who has been on this path many, many times before you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat can be a therapist \/ that can be a pastor\u2014it can be a friend who has done some great work prior. All I\u2019m saying is\u2014the harm came in relationship, and redemption is through relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and let me just mention to our listeners here\u2014of course, we\u2019ve got copies of both the book and the workbook that you\u2019ve written in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> Resource Center. As you\u2019re thinking and praying about who might go on this journey with you\u2014whether it\u2019s a pastor, counselor, your spouse, a trusted friend\u2014get a copy of the book, <em>Healing the Wounded Heart<\/em>, and the companion workbook by going to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the book is called <em>Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation<\/em> by Dr. Dan Allender. Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019d like for you to pray for the person who has been listening to us and has some\u2014well, they\u2019ve got a pathway in front of them \/ a journey that you know\u2014you know more than most about how difficult that\u2019s going to be. Would you pray that God gives them courage, and faith, and that they truly will indeed meet Jesus Christ as they make that journey?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dan: <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus, we are so grateful that You pursue us\u2014that Your heart for us is so <em>deeply<\/em> good. We ask, in the midst of our own heartache, and confusion, and our own anger, that You will meet us where we are and that You will lead us kindly into all that You have for us just in this day\u2014not a year from now\u2014just in this day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as Your faithfulness continues to be taken in, would You open our hearts to be restored\u2014to really be restored in a way in which our lives bear so much more delight and joy?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know You\u2019re going to do this. We open our hearts to You. We ask You to be with us and walk us through all that we need to do in order to be more like You. We ask it in Your name. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Amen. Dan\u2014thank you for being with us. Again, if our listeners are interested, they get a copy of your book, <em>Healing the Wounded Heart<\/em>. They can order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or they can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you know the significance of June 1, 1991?\u00a0 Well, that was the day that Ray and Teresa Tubbs, who live in King George, Virginia, became husband and wife. Twenty-five years ago today, Mr. and Mrs. Tubbs were first presented, as a married couple, to family and friends. We just wanted to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Tubbs on your silver anniversary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think anniversaries really do matter, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re celebrating our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary this year, but the anniversaries that matter the most are all the anniversaries that have happened because of how God has used this ministry over the last 40 years. And those of you who contribute to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014you have been a part of that. So, we want to say, \u201cThank you for your partnership with us.\u201d\u00a0 And we want to encourage you\u2014if it\u2019s been a while since you\u2019ve made a contribution, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. It\u2019s easy to make an online contribution. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone. You can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re interested in helping us out regularly, consider becoming a Legacy Partner\u2014a monthly donor who supports the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, you can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about what parents can do to help prepare a child should that child face a predator\u2014someone who is a potential sexual abuser. Justin Holcomb is going to join us, and we\u2019re going to talk about how we help our children know what to do if danger is near. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. Hope you can be here with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.94M"],"filesize_raw":["24051894"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304022.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304022.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Allender tells sexual abuse victims to find hope in God, and reminds them that they are not alone. Restoration won't begin, however, until they acknowledge they are broken.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-06-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For those who have experienced childhood sexual abuse, the path to healing is a path that you do not walk alone. Here\u2019s Dr. Dan Allender. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got to be in community. Eventually, you\u2019ve got to be able to walk with somebody who\u2019s been on this path many, many times before you. That can be a therapist \/ that can be a pastor\u2014it can be a friend who has done some great work prior. All I\u2019m saying is\u2014the harm came in relationship, and redemption is through relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There is, indeed, a path to redemption for those who have experienced the horror of childhood sexual abuse, and we\u2019ll discover that path together today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. Folks who listen regularly to this program know that there are two things that we\u2019re going to talk about a lot. One of them is how you find help, and the other is how you find hope. Today, that\u2019s where we want to direct our conversation around\u2014the area of sexual abuse as a part of your past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we find both of them in the Scriptures. That\u2019s what the Bible is all about\u2014it\u2019s about calling us to a life of faith. The object of your faith is more real than the chair you\u2019re sitting in, the car you are driving in, the office you are working in. The Bible is the truth of God\u2019s Word and will guide you in handling issues like sexual abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have with us, again, back for another round of discussion here\u2014and this time I want to talk to Dr. Dan Allender about how we can recover from sexual abuse. Welcome back to the broadcast, Dan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis. Thank you, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dan has written a book called <em>Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation<\/em>. He\u2019s a counselor \/ a speaker. In fact, you and Becky invest a few days, if not a few weeks, of your life each year around sex trafficking and children who are being abused. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>We do. We\u2019ve got that privilege of being able to work with folks who are in the field, working all over the world. Our two primary countries that we work with are Ethiopia and Thailand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And how prevalent is this sex trafficking, Dan?\u00a0 Just give us an idea of what\u2019s happening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Let\u2019s just say, as a country ends up coming into great upheaval, the result is women and children are being sold at a regular basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you\u2019ve got exiles, as we have all over the world, one of the primary means by which they are misused is being sold into sex slave trade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Interesting. Well, this week, we\u2019ve been talking about the subject of sexual abuse. What I want to focus on today is helping someone who has heard our broadcast and says: \u201cYou know, I think I was sexually abused. Where do I start, and how do I go through a process of finding the hope you\u2019re talking about in your book?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And we should say, \u201cThis is achievable.\u201d\u00a0 You experienced sexual abuse as a child. Would you say you are at a point in your life where you have healed from what you went through?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. Now, let me add a phrase; and that is, the work of God in healing always opens our heart to even more healing. So, it\u2019s not like it\u2019s healed and done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s healed and open to more of the work of restoration. So, is it possible to heal?\u00a0 Oh, He\u2019s <em>committed<\/em> in <em>every<\/em> portion of life to our restoration\u2014He\u2019s come to bind up the broken-hearted \/ He\u2019s come to set the captive free. If that\u2019s the case, then, freedom and a sense of wholeness is what God is about through the work of redemption. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>If the tomb is empty \/ if Jesus Christ has defeated death, He\u2019s alive today. He can meet people in their state of brokenness, and He can make them whole. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, death never gets the final word, nor does trauma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, let\u2019s take a scenario. Somebody listening to today\u2019s program is aware of the fact that they experienced childhood sexual abuse. Maybe, they\u2019ve been thinking for a long time: \u201cYes, I experienced that. I\u2019ve compartmentalized that. I\u2019ve put that over here to the side. I\u2019m functioning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s not having any impact on me. I\u2019ll just leave that vault locked up and get along with my life.\u201d\u00a0 And here comes Dan Allender, saying, \u201cNo, we need to go open that vault.\u201d They go: \u201cWhy?\u00a0 I\u2019m doing fine. Just leave me alone.\u201d\u00a0 What would you say to them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>What I\u2019d say is: \u201c<em>Fine<\/em> is not wholeheartedness. <em>Fine<\/em> is not freedom and joy.\u201d\u00a0 Look, this life bears suffering; but it bears the presence of the Living God, who intends to restore our hearts back to what we would have been in Eden.\u201d\u00a0 Will it be perfect until we\u2019re with Him?\u00a0 No; but that trajectory of movement into life\u2014I want <em>life<\/em>. I want more life for people than mere\u2014I like the word, fine; but I like it for the pens I use\u2014not for a description of my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But Dan, as the person looks at the vault that Bob is describing there and goes: \u201cIf I open that vault, it may overcome me. It was so evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m so afraid of it, ashamed of it, plagued by it. I may be overcome by it, again.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. The power of God is with you to engage this. You\u2019re not to do this alone, but you\u2019re not to do it fast. You\u2019re not to try and take on the whole thing all at once. It\u2019s a matter of: \u201cWill you at least admit there are some residual effects going on in your life <em>today<\/em>?\u00a0 In that sense, let\u2019s talk about the fact that you are suspicious. There\u2019s a lot of joy you don\u2019t seem to have. You push back. You\u2019re a little more aggressive or a little more compliant. There are lots of characteristics that do not fully reveal the person you\u2019re meant to be. Let\u2019s go after that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, the person listening goes: \u201cOkay, so, maybe, our marital intimacy is not everything it could be; and maybe, this does have some bearing on that; and I do get angry at times without even understanding why I\u2019m getting angry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay, so, maybe, some of this is seeping out of the vault anyway, and I better go in there and clean it up; but what is step one?\u2014 who goes with me?\u2014and how do I begin a process that is going to get me to healing and joy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, the first is: \u201cYou cannot change what you will not name.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to name\u2014even a simple phrase like, \u201cMy uncle sexually abused me.\u201d And will you now allow yourself to return to some of that harm and allow Jesus to begin guiding through a process of restoration? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat happened?\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s the problem\u2014when abuse occurs \/ trauma occurs\u2014because, when we remember\u2014in a state of high anxiety\u2014we\u2019re actually, literally, re-traumatizing ourselves. The phrase is from Romans 2, verse 4: \u201cIt is the kindness of God that leads to repentance.\u201d\u00a0 If you can\u2019t move into your past with the presence of the kindness of God, then, in part, I would say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThen, keep compartmentalizing because you are going to harm yourself to the degree that you return to that story, attempt to tell it, attempt to remember it; but you have not done so with the <em>presence<\/em> of kindness to lead you into it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, it\u2019s not going to be flipping a switch\u2014you\u2019re going to start a journey. You call it wandering\u2014it may take a while. It\u2019s going to engage encountering God in the midst of pain \/ maybe, even reliving some memories of what took place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>It will require that you relive, and that is, let you, as an adult, go into what you suffered as an eight-year-old, twelve-year-old, or fourteen-year-old. You will feel divided\u2014meaning, you\u2019re an adult; but when you remember, many of the same emotions. Will you let Jesus come to that very young eight-year-old?\u2014and begin the process, with kindness, of remembering \/ knowing that remembering is probably best done by paper and pencil or by computer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not just sitting there, thinking, but actually writing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we have found through the research is\u2014the more you are willing to write about the harm\u2014writing, itself, is slower. It requires more thought to be able to engage, but it also allows deep emotion to come. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you are hitting something I wanted to clarify at this point. A person can begin this journey by himself or herself, obviously, in the presence of God. They can write this down. Do they need to intersect with another person in this process as they go along the way?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I think you begin alone, but you do not remain alone. That is, you need to be able to share your story with at least a few others \/ or one other, who can then help you read stories that are fragmented. And that\u2019s one of the other things we know neurologically. You won\u2019t have a full narrative\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014beginning, middle, and an end. It\u2019ll be more fragments, more images, smells, senses. Eventually, they have to be put into a larger meaningful whole. That will only come in conversation with others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, there are some listening, who are going: \u201cThis sounds a little like this psycho stuff. You go back to your wounded inner child and you sit there.\u201d\u00a0 They go: \u201cI read this verse that says, \u201cForgetting what lies behind, I press on.\u2019\u00a0 So, that\u2019s what I\u2019m doing.\u201d\u00a0 How do you respond to that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, notice that in that verse, in Philippians 3, Paul remembers\u2014he returns to being a Benjamite. He returns to being trained by Gamaliel. He remembers, but what he is saying is: \u201cI don\u2019t let my past become the basis of my righteousness,\u201d\u2014or another way of putting it is\u2014\u201cI don\u2019t let it become an excuse.\u201d\u00a0 It is only the righteousness of Christ that is the basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, inner child\u2014no, no, no\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019re not talking about a concept of an inner child. We\u2019re talking about: \u201cYou have memories.\u201d As you would care for a hurt foot, you need to care for your neurons that still hold particular patterns, and images, and memories. So, all we\u2019re saying is: \u201cNo, you need to care for your brain the way you do for your cough or what you do for a hurt foot.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what else do we do on the journey?\u00a0 I mean, the journey\u2019s going to take you through some dark places\u2014hopefully, to a brighter spot. Walk us through what\u2019s involved there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, here are the stones to cross this difficult river. I need to be able to grieve for myself, and let others grieve with me, and to receive that grief. Grief allows our hearts to become tender\u2014much more tender\u2014especially because we are so judgmental. We literally curse that twelve-year-old boy or that young eight-year-old girl. We curse her body \/ we curse how we felt in the arousal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrief begins to tenderize our hearts so that we can begin to see we\u2019re accusing \/ we join the abuser\u2014and in that cursing, we need to repent. In that grief, we begin that process of repenting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to become <em>angry<\/em> because what was done to us\u2014it is <em>vile<\/em>. When Jesus says, \u201cIt would be better for you to hang a millstone around the neck of the person who brought harm to my little one,\u201d you better enter into the <em>anger<\/em> of Jesus against the abuser and the harm of this culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What is the one who was abused needing to repent of because they\u2019re the victim in this?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>But they have often chosen, unwittingly, to often do more harm to themselves through their self-hatred, through their judgment, through their cursing of their own body. They\u2019ve repeated the harm of the abuse. We\u2019re not repenting, thankfully, over having been abused; but we\u2019re repenting over the lack of kindness, grief, and honor that we\u2019ve allowed ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrief and anger are meant, eventually, to take us to being able to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re saying: \u201cIf I took my abuse and put it in that vault and sealed it up, I need to repent of putting it away and not confronting it as the evil it was.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. No more than you would say, \u201cMy whole house is given to God except this room.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>You want the <em>whole<\/em> person to be given over to Him. As grief and anger begin to be addressed, the heart begins to open up to naming the harm in a way in which, \u201cI don\u2019t want to bear the harm, but I also want to be able to let go.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the key phrase for forgiveness: \u201cLetting go.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re calling it what it is. You\u2019re writing out your story\u2014maybe\u2014and again, this may be an iterative process, where you write it, and then you go back and you reread it, and you rewrite it. You don\u2019t just kind of turn it into some assignment and move on, but you go back and reconsider.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Reiterative is a key word because, every time you come back to that memory, there will be new things that you will be given. I do mean the word, given, because it will feel like it\u2019s an assault against you; but God is giving you more memory to be able to enter more grief, more anger, and more movement toward forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And then, you share your story with others\u2014with a husband or a wife \/ with others in your community of faith who\u2014and the sharing is so that they can participate in the grief?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, not only participate in the grief <em>and<\/em> the anger, but here is the dilemma with fragmented stories\u2014I need people to go: \u201cWhat? What happened then?\u201d \u201cOh, my goodness!\u00a0 There is this huge gap that I don\u2019t quite get,\u201d\u2014and you might not get, and we might not see for some season\u2014but at least, to be able to say, \u201cLet\u2019s make as much sense together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to read the Scripture together. You can read alone; but we grow as we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014in one sense, iron sharpening iron. So, that same level of\u2014join the story in a way in which our joint curiosity, grief, and anger allows God to bring even more of the story to bear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dan, talk about who you let into the vault. Talk about being wise about who you invite into your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, you used the word\u2014and I think it\u2019s the key word\u2014safety. But what constitutes safety?\u00a0 Someone who delights in me \/ somebody who, when they are with me, I know they are <em>for<\/em> me <em>and<\/em> they have honor. They are not going to push me. They are not going to require a quick verse applied, and then, resolved. I need to know somebody really likes me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Is this going to mean going back and confronting my uncle, my father, my Sunday school teacher\u2014whoever did the harm?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think it\u2019s <em>required<\/em>; but I think it\u2019s, in many ways, something that God will bring you: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDo you want to?\u201d\u00a0 I know most people would go, \u201cOf course not!\u201d\u00a0 But it\u2019s a form of evangelism. It\u2019s a form of offering the grace of the kingdom of God to be able to say: \u201cYou harmed me. I want to engage with you about what it did to me\u2014how I have, in some sense, turned against my own heart\u2014and I\u2019ve begun to grow. I\u2019ve begun to see the goodness of God in the land of the living, and I would love to offer that to you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a lot of situations really do require engagement with the police. We\u2019ve got to broad-realm here because, if that abuser is continuing to have access to children or relatives, you <em>can\u2019t<\/em> presume, if you were abused by this person, that you were the <em>only<\/em> person abused. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>So, there is a complex world here that needs to be addressed, but the ultimate impulse is the freedom to want to bring goodness to this world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And you are also assuming something, here at this point, Dan, I want you to just unpack a bit. Forgiveness, ultimately, I think, has to be offered to the person who has abused you\u2014forgiveness means you give up the right of punishment. That is a <em>massive<\/em> process\u2014to move all the way through forgiveness to the point where you are sharing the gospel \/ wanting to introduce them to Jesus Christ. I mean, that\u2019s quite a journey right there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s a <em>marathon<\/em>. Often, we say to people on this journey, \u201cYou need to forgive.\u201d\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ll get there\u2014it\u2019s called crossing the finish line\u2014but: \u201cBe with me through the 26 miles.\u201d\u00a0 Again, so many times, we misunderstand that forgiveness is forgive and forget. There really is a letting go\u2014letting God engage this person without me having to either seek justice or pretend the relationship is as it was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, forgiveness is: \u201cI won\u2019t be reconciled until you repent; but nonetheless, I let you go to God. I let your life be yours without it being something I take into myself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re talking about someone whom you may confront and who may not admit it or may be unwilling to admit that he has harmed you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Exactly. In which case, there will not be reconciliation, even though there is a place of forgiveness: \u201cIf your brother sins against you, rebuke them. If they repent, forgive.\u201d\u00a0 I understand, in that Luke 17, verse 3, passage, that it\u2019s not forgiveness in the sense of a stance of saying: \u201cI don\u2019t seek justice. I don\u2019t seek harm against you; but nonetheless, I want goodness for you.\u201d\u00a0 That will grow over a season if you allow yourself the healing of your own broken heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, a person who is on this journey you\u2019re talking about, Dan, needs someone who has been on the pathway ahead of them multiple times. That\u2019s what you\u2019ve done in putting this book together. You have really logically and sequentially laid out a path for someone who is wounded to find healing and hope. That\u2019s really what your life has been about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, the book is really meant to be used with a workbook because what we\u2019ve found, again, is\u2014writing changes the heart. The workbook is intended to be a guide to help you begin that process, chapter by chapter and stage by stage, to engage where your story is and where it\u2019s meant to be. In that sense, a book is good. I\u2019m proud of the book and hope God uses it greatly, but I also underline: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be in community. Eventually, you\u2019ve got to be able to walk with somebody who has been on this path many, many times before you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat can be a therapist \/ that can be a pastor\u2014it can be a friend who has done some great work prior. All I\u2019m saying is\u2014the harm came in relationship, and redemption is through relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and let me just mention to our listeners here\u2014of course, we\u2019ve got copies of both the book and the workbook that you\u2019ve written in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> Resource Center. As you\u2019re thinking and praying about who might go on this journey with you\u2014whether it\u2019s a pastor, counselor, your spouse, a trusted friend\u2014get a copy of the book, <em>Healing the Wounded Heart<\/em>, and the companion workbook by going to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the book is called <em>Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation<\/em> by Dr. Dan Allender. Order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I\u2019d like for you to pray for the person who has been listening to us and has some\u2014well, they\u2019ve got a pathway in front of them \/ a journey that you know\u2014you know more than most about how difficult that\u2019s going to be. Would you pray that God gives them courage, and faith, and that they truly will indeed meet Jesus Christ as they make that journey?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dan: <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus, we are so grateful that You pursue us\u2014that Your heart for us is so <em>deeply<\/em> good. We ask, in the midst of our own heartache, and confusion, and our own anger, that You will meet us where we are and that You will lead us kindly into all that You have for us just in this day\u2014not a year from now\u2014just in this day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as Your faithfulness continues to be taken in, would You open our hearts to be restored\u2014to really be restored in a way in which our lives bear so much more delight and joy?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know You\u2019re going to do this. We open our hearts to You. We ask You to be with us and walk us through all that we need to do in order to be more like You. We ask it in Your name. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Amen. Dan\u2014thank you for being with us. Again, if our listeners are interested, they get a copy of your book, <em>Healing the Wounded Heart<\/em>. They can order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or they can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you know the significance of June 1, 1991?\u00a0 Well, that was the day that Ray and Teresa Tubbs, who live in King George, Virginia, became husband and wife. Twenty-five years ago today, Mr. and Mrs. Tubbs were first presented, as a married couple, to family and friends. We just wanted to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Tubbs on your silver anniversary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think anniversaries really do matter, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re celebrating our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary this year, but the anniversaries that matter the most are all the anniversaries that have happened because of how God has used this ministry over the last 40 years. And those of you who contribute to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014you have been a part of that. So, we want to say, \u201cThank you for your partnership with us.\u201d\u00a0 And we want to encourage you\u2014if it\u2019s been a while since you\u2019ve made a contribution, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. It\u2019s easy to make an online contribution. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone. You can also mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re interested in helping us out regularly, consider becoming a Legacy Partner\u2014a monthly donor who supports the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, you can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about what parents can do to help prepare a child should that child face a predator\u2014someone who is a potential sexual abuser. Justin Holcomb is going to join us, and we\u2019re going to talk about how we help our children know what to do if danger is near. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. Hope you can be here with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304022"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304022"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304022"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304022"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}