{"id":304014,"date":"2016-05-26T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-05-26T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-cup-of-kindness\/"},"modified":"2016-05-26T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-05-26T15:00:00","slug":"a-cup-of-kindness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-cup-of-kindness\/","title":{"rendered":"A Cup of Kindness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Michael and Hayley DiMarco talk about how the fruit of God&#8217;s Spirit can powerfully transform a person&#8217;s life, as well as a marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-26.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.92M","filesize_raw":"24030759","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2831],"tags":[2990,4808,4902,2877],"podcast_series":[7992],"cwp_profile":[3373],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304014","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wives","tag-anger","tag-becoming-a-christian","tag-disappointment","tag-marriage","podcast_series-the-fruitful-wife","cwp_profile-michael-and-hayley-dimarco","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304014\/a-cup-of-kindness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304014\/a-cup-of-kindness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pq7jsrNEkM\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-cup-of-kindness\/\">A Cup of Kindness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-cup-of-kindness\/embed\/#?secret=pq7jsrNEkM\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Cup of Kindness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pq7jsrNEkM\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-26.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-26.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hayley DiMarco says that she and her husband Michael are just like every other couple. There are times when they don\u2019t see eye to eye. When that happens, there are times when Hayley doesn\u2019t respond with a gracious, loving spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>My initial is: \u201cThat\u2014I can\u2019t believe he did that!\u201d I\u2019m angry, and I\u2019m giving God the riot act. Then, I realize: \u201cWait a minute. What does God want me to learn in this? Why is this chafing happening?\u2014because if I\u2019m responding to the Spirit, there\u2019s no chafing. So, what is it in <em>me<\/em> where I\u2019m not responding to the Spirit?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI allow my mind to kind of hone in on Scripture that I know, and I find answers. Then, I move right to praying for him. Rather than getting on him for something, I go right to God for it and begin to pray. That\u2019s how kindness shows up\u2014in that I\u2019m offering him prayers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 26<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Has it been a while since kindness showed up in your marriage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to talk about the fruit of the Spirit and marriage today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. I\u2019m just curious. We\u2019re talking this week about the fruit of the Spirit and how a wife can be a fruitful wife. When you think of wives, which of the fruit of the Spirit do you think they\u2019re worst at? [Laughter] I just wanted to see how you\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have found fresh ways, not only to completely insult our guests, but now, our listeners! We can do without an occasional guest, but not without the listeners! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At least, I didn\u2019t ask you which one Barbara is worst at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought that\u2019s where you were going! [Laughter] I thought it wasn\u2019t enough that you set up Michael DiMarco, on an earlier broadcast, to see where he slept last night. [Laughter] Wow! My breath is taken away on that, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s do this! How would you answer that question, Bob? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I would answer\u2014I\u2019d take the Fifth Amendment is what I\u2019d do. I would just plead the Fifth and get out of court as quick as I could.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you know what we could do\u2014we could ask the author of the book, <em>The Fruitful Wife<\/em>, Hayley DiMarco, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, along with her husband Michael, who did get a reprieve from the doghouse. Welcome back, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How would you answer Bob\u2019s question? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>I was thinking about it when you asked. I was trying to scan my brain. I\u2019ve talked to a lot of women, and I hear\u2014I ask all of them: \u201cWhat\u2019s difficult for you?\u201d so, I hear like <em>all<\/em> of them\u2014it just depends on the woman. If they have kids, I would say probably the biggest one is patience. That\u2019s probably a <em>big <\/em>one because they\u2019re tried all day long. Then, the husband comes; and they\u2019re tried some more. Patience is one that very few people say: \u201cOh, I\u2019m gifted in that! I have that one covered.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; yes. Is that a struggle for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>It was. It was, having a\u2014at the time, she was probably five or six when I was working through this. It was <em>very<\/em> challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found myself, like a lot of my friends: \u201cHurry up! We have to go! We have to go!\u201d and being frustrated that it took so long to get this on and do that. It\u2019s just\u2014they\u2019re never on your time schedule. They\u2019re never as efficient as you want them to be. So, yes, I found myself yelling a lot and getting upset. That\u2019s part of the reason\u2014you know, in this book\u2014that a lot of the information that came out under patience. I had to go through it as I was writing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019ve learned a lot, and I\u2019m happy to say that I\u2019ve come a <em>long<\/em> way. There are moments when it\u2019s <em>really<\/em> hard; but most of the time, I just feel\u2014and I haven\u2019t, myself, I believe, done anything\u2014it\u2019s really a feel of the spiritual power that comes through me. It\u2019s just His Spirit that just\u2014I look back and I go, \u201cNow, where did that come from?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So what\u2019s the difference today? I mean, undoubtedly, there are times when your husband is making you late for something \/ your daughter\u2019s making you late for something\u2014the same frustration is there as was there a couple years ago. What\u2019s the difference today between what happens and what used to happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>There are probably two things that I can identify. I talk about them in the book to help people with it. One is that I became aware, through working on this book, of what the fruit was. I had a lot of misconceptions, and I think most of us do have a misconception. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLove is not the opposite of hate but, rather, selfishness. When people hear that, they think, \u201cI\u2019ve never considered that.\u201d It changes the way they think about how they love. I see that with all of the fruit in my life. As I started to see not what it was, but what the opposite is, I started to say, \u201cOh! I\u2019m allowing\u201d\u2014what I call\u2014\u201cthe fruit of the flesh\u201d\u2014which is kind of the opposite\u2014\u201cto rule my life, without realizing that\u2019s the <em>complete<\/em> opposite of listening to the Spirit.\u201d So, knowledge\u2014understanding it in a way I hadn\u2019t\u2014was the first one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second one was just grabbing a hold of the realization that I can\u2019t do it in my own power, but I have to do it through the power of the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, in Galatians, Chapter 5, it says, \u201cNow the deeds of the flesh are evident.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It just ticks them off, you know\u2014all the things where we lose control. Then, it goes on to contrast it with the <em>fruit<\/em> of the Spirit. I just want to say again, at the beginning of this broadcast, the Holy Spirit has been given to you, really, by Jesus Christ. He left the planet so He could send the third member of the Trinity to, not just be with us, but be <em>in<\/em> us, and be at work within us \/ in our souls, producing maturity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He is the One who completes the sanctifying work\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that God\u2019s doing in all of our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cHe who began a good work is able to complete it\u201d; so you\u2019re right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So what Hayley\u2019s talking about here\u2014this is not optional stuff. These are the ABC\u2019s of being a follower of Jesus Christ. You have to understand you have the Holy Spirit. You can see Him grow patience in your heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But if you\u2019re counseling a mother like you today\u2014somebody who said: \u201cI am impatient with my kids. They drive me crazy. They\u2019re always this, and they\u2019re that,\u201d and \u201cYes, I want to be a more patient mom. So, do I just say, \u2018Please, Holy Spirit, make it so,\u2019\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Well, I actually can remember one mother, in particular, who I counseled, who was having just such a terrible time with her three kids not doing anything she wanted. They were late every day to school. She was screaming. Her husband said, \u201cYou have to stop the screaming.\u201d Their house was just a house of shouting. As I listened to that, I talked to her. I said something that was very alarming to her; but I think this is the key, and it changed her. I said: \u201cYou know what the problem is? You don\u2019t love your kids.\u201d She said, \u201cWhat!!\u201d She was irate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause, see, I <em>know<\/em> she loves her kids. But I was explaining to her that she didn\u2019t <em>show<\/em> them her love. As I explained that to her, \u201cWhat they\u2019re hearing from you and seeing from you isn\u2019t love. They\u2019re seeing your self-obsession\u2014that you wanted them to be ready on time\u2014that you need them to do this and do that.\u201d This self-focus is causing the conflict; whereas, if you understand the truth about love\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that it isn\u2019t getting what you want, even with kids, because we all know, if we\u2019ve raised them, we\u2019re not getting what we want every second of every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Letting that go, you can learn to love them. Then, the other fruit starts to flow out of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about one of the other less convicting fruit of the Spirit. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Which would be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Patience\u2014just kind of, you know\u2014that was\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Low-hanging fruit? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That was a tough one\u2014raising six kids and getting anywhere on time\u2014trust me! Okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>You don\u2019t; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve asked Him to grow that fruit in my life. Let\u2019s talk about kindness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You struggle with kindness or were you naturally kind?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Well, I have felt, all my life, that I\u2019m naturally kind. I\u2019ve written books, and I think we\u2019ve probably talked about some.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, <em>Mean Girls<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong><em>Mean Girls<\/em>; right. I\u2019ve struggled a <em>lot<\/em> with mean girls in my life. I\u2019ve always been the one that they\u2019re like, \u201cWhy are you so nice?\u201d So, I just assumed, \u201cI\u2019ve been called nice; that means I\u2019m a kind person.\u201d But it wasn\u2019t until I studied what kindness really meant that I realized: \u201cI\u2019m not kind either.\u201d I\u2019m not because my kindness\u2014at the root of it \/ if I got down to the bottom of it\u2014was all manufactured to keep people from hurting me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to make it so they didn\u2019t reject me \/ to keep them from being angry with me. So, it was all selfish\u2014I did it all for <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not kindness. This is the important thing with <em>all<\/em> of the fruit of the Spirit\u2014when we\u2019re talking about a motivation that is self\u2014when we\u2019re talking about self-protection, self-promotion, anything that has to do with self\u2014it\u2019s coming from the power of our flesh because we\u2019re focusing on self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019re talking about is focusing on the life of Christ. We\u2019re focusing on His Holy Spirit. When we do that, the fruit that comes out of us is then true fruit. It\u2019s not this cheap imitation of this stuff our flesh concocts in order that we might please ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>One of the interesting things about our marriage\u2014how Hayley kind of sucked me into this book world and publishing world\u2014is the times that she\u2019ll be sitting in her office and ready to throw her laptop across the room or she just gets to a spot where she\u2019s just struggling one way or another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember this vividly\u2014me, sitting on the floor, early in the morning when she was working on this manuscript, just struggling with the difference between kindness and goodness. It was just a memorable moment because, in that time of wrestling, was this great realization, where we said, \u201cKindness is really a synonym for grace\u2014it is undeserved favor \/ unmerited favor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So, when we look at how we define ourselves as kind or not, it\u2019s really, \u201cAre we offering grace to others when they don\u2019t deserve it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Not, \u201cAm I just a pleasing person when it\u2019s convenient for me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, Hayley, what does that look like in a marriage relationship? How have you seen the Spirit work kindness in your soul toward Michael?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Toward your Italian-Irish husband. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Right! Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>The unmerited favor! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And by the way, I thought it was a lot safer when you were throwing the plates in the basement, not throwing computers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a little more costly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes, tell me about it! [Laughter] Well, for me\u2014I think a lot of people can identify with this\u2014when Michael might start something \/ when he might say something to me that\u2019s either critical or that wasn\u2019t what I expected, or when he even doesn\u2019t do what I ask\u2014like take out the garbage or whatever it might be\u2014there\u2019s something that he doesn\u2019t do, my first response is to <em>attack<\/em>. It is either to defend myself and prove that he was wrong or to insist, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t he do what I asked?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is <em>commonplace<\/em> in marriages. I see that happening all the time, where women\u2014we are constantly trying to control the situation and get him to do what we want and make sure he understands us \/ communicate. It erupts into: \u201cWell! He started it, so I\u2019m going to finish it.\u201d That\u2019s been the biggest spot for me\u2014where he might start something, whether it\u2019s founded or not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe might be criticizing a failure in me spiritually, which I welcome, but still <em>hate<\/em> \/ hate to hear about. Or he might be criticizing something that I don\u2019t think is a problem. In those situations, my instinct to fight back has died down, where I now say\u2014through the Holy Spirit, I am able to offer him grace and say: \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight back. I\u2019m not going to stand up for myself in this point, but I\u2019m going to let the Holy Spirit do that part.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have, for years, said to people that one of the aspects of kindness \/ one of the ways that kindness is manifested in a relationship\u2014is you begin to give other people, what I heard R. C. Sproul call one time, \u201cthe judgment of charity.\u201d We often call it \u201cthe benefit of the doubt.\u201d It is believing the best about another person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>That\u2019s hard, though.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is, but that\u2019s what <em>kindness<\/em> looks like. That\u2019s how we manifest kindness toward somebody else\u2014is we say, \u201cI\u2019m going to believe the best about you, even if I don\u2019t <em>feel<\/em> it right now,\u201d\u2014not naively \/ not covering up something\u2014but just saying, \u201cI\u2019ll believe the best.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Well, what I talk about in the book is that we have this sense of justice\u2014that things have to be fair, and sin needs to be punished. Even if it is sin that\u2014maybe isn\u2019t biblical sin\u2014but he just did something against me. We have a sense of justice that things need to be worked out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Kindness is giving up that. It\u2019s giving up your sense of justice to the God who is just. One of the ways that it would manifest itself, now, in our marriage is\u2014if we start to fight, I want to talk it out and he wants to leave the room. He wants me to either go or he\u2019s going to go. I just: \u201cOh! I want to talk about it and work it out!\u201d I\u2019ve had to learn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are you sure he\u2019s Italian?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes; I\u2019m sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought Italians liked to get right out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>No, no, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>That\u2019s\u2014actually, that\u2019s more the Irish\u2014you know, fight it out. The Italians have the\u2014like: \u201cOkay, this is all business. We\u2019re going to plot against you, and put a horse head in your bed later.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ll get back to you later!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes. Well, no; that\u2019s the thing\u2014is that she has, just in this particular communication style, there are certain moments where I realize, that whatever we\u2019re talking about, \u201cIt ain\u2019t going anywhere.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>We\u2019re in the endless loop. Those are those moments where her act of kindness is to trust me\u2014that us pulling away for a second and letting things cool down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: \u201c<\/strong>A time-out might really help here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>But it doesn\u2019t mean that I walk off, and I\u2019m fine. It doesn\u2019t mean that I walk off and I don\u2019t want to throw plates because I really do! But I don\u2019t anymore. What I do is\u2014I go into a room where I can shut the door and, hopefully, not slam it\u2014but shut the door. I get on my knees, and I pray, and I pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy initial is: \u201cThat dog\u2014I can\u2019t believe he did that!\u201d I\u2019m angry, and I\u2019m giving God the riot act. Then, I realize: \u201cWait a minute! What does God want me to learn in this? Why is this chafing happening?\u201d Because, if I\u2019m responding to the Spirit, there\u2019s no chafing. So, \u201cWhat is it, in <em>me<\/em>, where I\u2019m not responding to the Spirit?\u201d and allow my mind to kind of hone in on Scripture that I know, and I find answers. Then, I move right to praying for him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo rather than getting on him for something, I go right to God for it, and begin to pray. That\u2019s how kindness shows up\u2014in that I\u2019m offering him prayers. Jesus says, \u201cPray for your enemies.\u201d That\u2019s what I\u2019m doing in those moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not imprecatory Psalms. That\u2019s not what you\u2019re praying for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Right; no. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But you also move to an apology\u2014you say, \u201cApologize quickly.\u201d You\u2019re wrinkling your face up. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Oh, man!\u2014apology. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>This is a long one because, in my family, we never apologized for anything. If I step on your toe, I say: \u201cWhy was your foot there?\u201d I don\u2019t have to say: \u2018Sorry.\u2019 Your foot should have been out of the way.\u201d We just do not say sorry\u2014I was <em>never<\/em> taught to say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was it a matter of pride in your family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know if it was pride. I think what I was taught was: \u201cWell, it was an accident. Why do you apologize for an accident? I didn\u2019t do it on purpose,\u201d and so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Intent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>\u2014right. I thought myself kind, and so I never did anything on purpose. So, I refused to say, \u201cSorry.\u201d That was something we had to work through a lot. That\u2019s why I wrinkle up my nose because\u2014\u201cBoy! Me learning to say, \u2018Sorry,\u2019 was like pulling teeth,\u201d\u2014I did <em>not<\/em> want to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>The strange thing was\u2014our daughter was the same way. As far as when she was, just, little, little\u2014it was like pulling teeth. I mean, she would just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Cry for an hour\u2014not to say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes, at the thought of saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m going to say something that could get me in trouble. I mean, I asked you a question that was designed to get you in trouble, as we started here. [Laughter] So, I\u2019m going to just say something that could get me in trouble; but I\u2019ve said this before\u2014and I say it, hopefully, kindly and graciously\u2014but it has been my observation that one of the dominating issues, for a lot of women, is this issue of wanting to be in control\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Amen! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014of everything in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>No; you\u2019re right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I\u2019m thinking of that in relation to the issue of self-control, as one of the fruit of the Spirit, because it does seem to me, that for safety and security reasons, women often think, \u201cI must be in control of my environment \/ everything around me or else I\u2019m not safe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, there\u2019s a false sense there because you\u2019re never really in control. God\u2019s in control. But I\u2019m just wondering about this issue of self-control and whether that even relates to this control-issue that\u2019s going on in a woman\u2019s life. Does that make sense?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes; that does make sense. That is a <em>big one<\/em>. Everywhere I go, women are like, \u201cOh yes, I want to be in control.\u201d It\u2019s just what we want to do\u2014women want to be in control of their husbands. That\u2019s natural. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI haven\u2019t really considered the idea of that lining up with self-control, but as you asked me that, I started to say, \u201cWell, what do they both have in common?\u201d We often get confused that self-control, with the word \u201cself\u201d in it, means that it\u2019s something we have to generate our<em>selves<\/em> to control. But really what it is\u2014it\u2019s an act of controlling <em>yourself<\/em>. Does that make sense?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>In other words, you take away self\u2014you say: \u201cNo! The Holy Spirit in me is in control here, not <em>self<\/em>.\u201d So self has to be pushed aside. In the area of controlling others, we are faced with this need for self-control and that we have to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to <em>self<\/em>. We have to let self-control come from the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the issue\u2019s really the <em>self<\/em> issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because the woman who\u2019s trying to control her circumstances is saying: \u201cI can run this. I\u2019m in charge.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes; and, more than that: \u201cI deserve it. I need my house to look like this,\u201d \u201cI need him to act that way,\u201d \u201cI need the kids to be like this,\u201d\u2014where it\u2019s just we\u2019ve created our whole world in an ideal of how it has to be. If it\u2019s not like that, it\u2019s the end of the world; so we are going to control it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hayley, you wrote a whole book on this subject, about death to self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What was the name of the book?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong><em>Die Young<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong><em>Die Young<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>\u2014<em>B<\/em><em>urying Your Self in Christ<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was just the way of the cross\u2014that, if you\u2019re going to be a follower of Jesus Christ, you have to learn how to deny yourself those luxuries of controlling other people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>That\u2019s the great thing about those verses about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. A lot of people will just lop off the last verse\u2014verse 24\u2014where it states, \u201cAnd those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we talk about controlling self, it\u2019s really putting self to death. That control issue really feeds back into the whole issue of peace because, when you feel out of control or the need for control, you really have no peace; you have no peace in a God that is in control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a good point. I\u2019m just curious why you did not write <em>The Fruitful Husband <\/em>at the same time she was writing this book. So, what\u2019s up with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Well, we really felt like the first book really should be for women because, one, this was a journey that Hayley started.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The point is that love, and joy, and peace, and patience, and kindness, and goodness\u2014all of this--needs to be worked out in the soul of a man just as much as it needs to be worked out in the soul of a woman; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Absolutely! Just our confessions are different or the way it manifests itself in the marriage relationship is different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for me, while Hayley has gone on this journey of the fruit of the Spirit in her life, for me\u2014she could testify to this, I <em>think<\/em>\u2014I hope and pray\u2014my anger \/ my short fuse\u2014whether hereditary or just sinful nature\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s hereditary too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes\u2014it\u2019s lengthened considerably because of living through the Spirit and the Spirit living in me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And watching her change in front of your very eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes! It\u2019s catalytic, where you see someone deny themselves. You see someone living in the Spirit\u2014it truly is supernatural. You say\u2014whether it\u2019s a tennis match and one person drops the racket and stops playing or it\u2019s just two people shouting in a racquetball court and, all of a sudden, you only hear your voice\u2014the sound of your own sin is deafening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; I want to just ask our listeners to listen carefully as I read Galatians, Chapter 5, verses 22 and 23, as I list out the nine fruit of the Spirit. Pick the one you want to close this broadcast with, as a listener, that you want to ask Him, the Holy Spirit, to produce in your soul today\u2014for your spouse \/ for your kids\u2014maybe, if you\u2019re a single person, your roommate or your parents\u2014just listen carefully and pick which one you want Him to produce: \u201cBut the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, finish the chapter. Read that last verse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cAgainst such things there is no law, and those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you have it? Have you picked it? I\u2019m going to pick one. How about you, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think I\u2019ll pass on that. [Laughter] I\u2019ll just get right to telling people about how to get a copy of\u2014[Laughter]\u2014how to get <em>The Fruitful Wife <\/em>by Hayley DiMarco.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve been praying for Bob for years on this. This is\u2014I\u2019ve missed my opportunity right here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You could go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to order a copy of Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>The Fruitful Wife<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>The Fruitful Wife<\/em>\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe should also mention your wife has a new book out for wives. It\u2019s called <em>Letters to My Daughters. <\/em>It\u2019s all about the art of being a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a collection of letters she has written over the last ten years to your daughters and daughters-in-law, giving input and godly counsel on how to be the kind of wife that God would have every wife to be. Of course, you can order copies of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Letters to My Daughters, <\/em>when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Either order online or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s see how quickly you can do the math on this; okay? If you got married in 1972, on this day\u20141972\u2014which anniversary would this be?\u2014your 44<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary; that\u2019s right. And that\u2019s what Jerry and Gwyn Pitts in Beaverton, Oregon, are celebrating today\u201444 years together as husband and wife. We just wanted to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Pitts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are Proud Sponsors of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>, here at <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We believe anniversaries matter a <em>lot<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re celebrating our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary this year, and we\u2019re doing it by focusing on all of the couples who have celebrated anniversaries because of how God has been at work through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We just wanted to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who partner with us to make all of this happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve had some friends come to us recently, aware that it\u2019s our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary and also aware that, as we head into the summer months, we often experience a dip or a decline in donation revenue. They wanted to make sure that we can get through the summer strong. They have agreed to match any donation we receive, during the month of May, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $350,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we\u2019re asking you to consider today going to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014donate over the phone; or mail you donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, all donations are going to be matched, dollar for dollar, up to that total of $350,000 as long as we hear from you by the end of this month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to explore how we, as parents, can raise children in an increasingly post-Christian culture and still have our children know and love God in the process. We are going to hear a message from Dr. Al Mohler tomorrow. Hope you can be here and tune in to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.92M"],"filesize_raw":["24030759"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304014.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304014.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Hayley DiMarco talk about how the fruit of God's Spirit can powerfully transform a person's life, as well as a marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-26.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hayley DiMarco says that she and her husband Michael are just like every other couple. There are times when they don\u2019t see eye to eye. When that happens, there are times when Hayley doesn\u2019t respond with a gracious, loving spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>My initial is: \u201cThat\u2014I can\u2019t believe he did that!\u201d I\u2019m angry, and I\u2019m giving God the riot act. Then, I realize: \u201cWait a minute. What does God want me to learn in this? Why is this chafing happening?\u2014because if I\u2019m responding to the Spirit, there\u2019s no chafing. So, what is it in <em>me<\/em> where I\u2019m not responding to the Spirit?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI allow my mind to kind of hone in on Scripture that I know, and I find answers. Then, I move right to praying for him. Rather than getting on him for something, I go right to God for it and begin to pray. That\u2019s how kindness shows up\u2014in that I\u2019m offering him prayers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 26<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Has it been a while since kindness showed up in your marriage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to talk about the fruit of the Spirit and marriage today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. I\u2019m just curious. We\u2019re talking this week about the fruit of the Spirit and how a wife can be a fruitful wife. When you think of wives, which of the fruit of the Spirit do you think they\u2019re worst at? [Laughter] I just wanted to see how you\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have found fresh ways, not only to completely insult our guests, but now, our listeners! We can do without an occasional guest, but not without the listeners! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At least, I didn\u2019t ask you which one Barbara is worst at.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought that\u2019s where you were going! [Laughter] I thought it wasn\u2019t enough that you set up Michael DiMarco, on an earlier broadcast, to see where he slept last night. [Laughter] Wow! My breath is taken away on that, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s do this! How would you answer that question, Bob? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I would answer\u2014I\u2019d take the Fifth Amendment is what I\u2019d do. I would just plead the Fifth and get out of court as quick as I could.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you know what we could do\u2014we could ask the author of the book, <em>The Fruitful Wife<\/em>, Hayley DiMarco, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, along with her husband Michael, who did get a reprieve from the doghouse. Welcome back, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How would you answer Bob\u2019s question? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>I was thinking about it when you asked. I was trying to scan my brain. I\u2019ve talked to a lot of women, and I hear\u2014I ask all of them: \u201cWhat\u2019s difficult for you?\u201d so, I hear like <em>all<\/em> of them\u2014it just depends on the woman. If they have kids, I would say probably the biggest one is patience. That\u2019s probably a <em>big <\/em>one because they\u2019re tried all day long. Then, the husband comes; and they\u2019re tried some more. Patience is one that very few people say: \u201cOh, I\u2019m gifted in that! I have that one covered.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; yes. Is that a struggle for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>It was. It was, having a\u2014at the time, she was probably five or six when I was working through this. It was <em>very<\/em> challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found myself, like a lot of my friends: \u201cHurry up! We have to go! We have to go!\u201d and being frustrated that it took so long to get this on and do that. It\u2019s just\u2014they\u2019re never on your time schedule. They\u2019re never as efficient as you want them to be. So, yes, I found myself yelling a lot and getting upset. That\u2019s part of the reason\u2014you know, in this book\u2014that a lot of the information that came out under patience. I had to go through it as I was writing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019ve learned a lot, and I\u2019m happy to say that I\u2019ve come a <em>long<\/em> way. There are moments when it\u2019s <em>really<\/em> hard; but most of the time, I just feel\u2014and I haven\u2019t, myself, I believe, done anything\u2014it\u2019s really a feel of the spiritual power that comes through me. It\u2019s just His Spirit that just\u2014I look back and I go, \u201cNow, where did that come from?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So what\u2019s the difference today? I mean, undoubtedly, there are times when your husband is making you late for something \/ your daughter\u2019s making you late for something\u2014the same frustration is there as was there a couple years ago. What\u2019s the difference today between what happens and what used to happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>There are probably two things that I can identify. I talk about them in the book to help people with it. One is that I became aware, through working on this book, of what the fruit was. I had a lot of misconceptions, and I think most of us do have a misconception. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLove is not the opposite of hate but, rather, selfishness. When people hear that, they think, \u201cI\u2019ve never considered that.\u201d It changes the way they think about how they love. I see that with all of the fruit in my life. As I started to see not what it was, but what the opposite is, I started to say, \u201cOh! I\u2019m allowing\u201d\u2014what I call\u2014\u201cthe fruit of the flesh\u201d\u2014which is kind of the opposite\u2014\u201cto rule my life, without realizing that\u2019s the <em>complete<\/em> opposite of listening to the Spirit.\u201d So, knowledge\u2014understanding it in a way I hadn\u2019t\u2014was the first one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second one was just grabbing a hold of the realization that I can\u2019t do it in my own power, but I have to do it through the power of the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, in Galatians, Chapter 5, it says, \u201cNow the deeds of the flesh are evident.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It just ticks them off, you know\u2014all the things where we lose control. Then, it goes on to contrast it with the <em>fruit<\/em> of the Spirit. I just want to say again, at the beginning of this broadcast, the Holy Spirit has been given to you, really, by Jesus Christ. He left the planet so He could send the third member of the Trinity to, not just be with us, but be <em>in<\/em> us, and be at work within us \/ in our souls, producing maturity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He is the One who completes the sanctifying work\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that God\u2019s doing in all of our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cHe who began a good work is able to complete it\u201d; so you\u2019re right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So what Hayley\u2019s talking about here\u2014this is not optional stuff. These are the ABC\u2019s of being a follower of Jesus Christ. You have to understand you have the Holy Spirit. You can see Him grow patience in your heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But if you\u2019re counseling a mother like you today\u2014somebody who said: \u201cI am impatient with my kids. They drive me crazy. They\u2019re always this, and they\u2019re that,\u201d and \u201cYes, I want to be a more patient mom. So, do I just say, \u2018Please, Holy Spirit, make it so,\u2019\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Well, I actually can remember one mother, in particular, who I counseled, who was having just such a terrible time with her three kids not doing anything she wanted. They were late every day to school. She was screaming. Her husband said, \u201cYou have to stop the screaming.\u201d Their house was just a house of shouting. As I listened to that, I talked to her. I said something that was very alarming to her; but I think this is the key, and it changed her. I said: \u201cYou know what the problem is? You don\u2019t love your kids.\u201d She said, \u201cWhat!!\u201d She was irate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause, see, I <em>know<\/em> she loves her kids. But I was explaining to her that she didn\u2019t <em>show<\/em> them her love. As I explained that to her, \u201cWhat they\u2019re hearing from you and seeing from you isn\u2019t love. They\u2019re seeing your self-obsession\u2014that you wanted them to be ready on time\u2014that you need them to do this and do that.\u201d This self-focus is causing the conflict; whereas, if you understand the truth about love\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that it isn\u2019t getting what you want, even with kids, because we all know, if we\u2019ve raised them, we\u2019re not getting what we want every second of every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Letting that go, you can learn to love them. Then, the other fruit starts to flow out of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about one of the other less convicting fruit of the Spirit. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Which would be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Patience\u2014just kind of, you know\u2014that was\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> Low-hanging fruit? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That was a tough one\u2014raising six kids and getting anywhere on time\u2014trust me! Okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>You don\u2019t; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve asked Him to grow that fruit in my life. Let\u2019s talk about kindness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You struggle with kindness or were you naturally kind?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Well, I have felt, all my life, that I\u2019m naturally kind. I\u2019ve written books, and I think we\u2019ve probably talked about some.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, <em>Mean Girls<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong><em>Mean Girls<\/em>; right. I\u2019ve struggled a <em>lot<\/em> with mean girls in my life. I\u2019ve always been the one that they\u2019re like, \u201cWhy are you so nice?\u201d So, I just assumed, \u201cI\u2019ve been called nice; that means I\u2019m a kind person.\u201d But it wasn\u2019t until I studied what kindness really meant that I realized: \u201cI\u2019m not kind either.\u201d I\u2019m not because my kindness\u2014at the root of it \/ if I got down to the bottom of it\u2014was all manufactured to keep people from hurting me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to make it so they didn\u2019t reject me \/ to keep them from being angry with me. So, it was all selfish\u2014I did it all for <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not kindness. This is the important thing with <em>all<\/em> of the fruit of the Spirit\u2014when we\u2019re talking about a motivation that is self\u2014when we\u2019re talking about self-protection, self-promotion, anything that has to do with self\u2014it\u2019s coming from the power of our flesh because we\u2019re focusing on self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019re talking about is focusing on the life of Christ. We\u2019re focusing on His Holy Spirit. When we do that, the fruit that comes out of us is then true fruit. It\u2019s not this cheap imitation of this stuff our flesh concocts in order that we might please ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>One of the interesting things about our marriage\u2014how Hayley kind of sucked me into this book world and publishing world\u2014is the times that she\u2019ll be sitting in her office and ready to throw her laptop across the room or she just gets to a spot where she\u2019s just struggling one way or another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember this vividly\u2014me, sitting on the floor, early in the morning when she was working on this manuscript, just struggling with the difference between kindness and goodness. It was just a memorable moment because, in that time of wrestling, was this great realization, where we said, \u201cKindness is really a synonym for grace\u2014it is undeserved favor \/ unmerited favor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong> So, when we look at how we define ourselves as kind or not, it\u2019s really, \u201cAre we offering grace to others when they don\u2019t deserve it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Not, \u201cAm I just a pleasing person when it\u2019s convenient for me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, Hayley, what does that look like in a marriage relationship? How have you seen the Spirit work kindness in your soul toward Michael?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Toward your Italian-Irish husband. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Right! Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>The unmerited favor! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And by the way, I thought it was a lot safer when you were throwing the plates in the basement, not throwing computers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a little more costly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes, tell me about it! [Laughter] Well, for me\u2014I think a lot of people can identify with this\u2014when Michael might start something \/ when he might say something to me that\u2019s either critical or that wasn\u2019t what I expected, or when he even doesn\u2019t do what I ask\u2014like take out the garbage or whatever it might be\u2014there\u2019s something that he doesn\u2019t do, my first response is to <em>attack<\/em>. It is either to defend myself and prove that he was wrong or to insist, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t he do what I asked?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is <em>commonplace<\/em> in marriages. I see that happening all the time, where women\u2014we are constantly trying to control the situation and get him to do what we want and make sure he understands us \/ communicate. It erupts into: \u201cWell! He started it, so I\u2019m going to finish it.\u201d That\u2019s been the biggest spot for me\u2014where he might start something, whether it\u2019s founded or not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe might be criticizing a failure in me spiritually, which I welcome, but still <em>hate<\/em> \/ hate to hear about. Or he might be criticizing something that I don\u2019t think is a problem. In those situations, my instinct to fight back has died down, where I now say\u2014through the Holy Spirit, I am able to offer him grace and say: \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight back. I\u2019m not going to stand up for myself in this point, but I\u2019m going to let the Holy Spirit do that part.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have, for years, said to people that one of the aspects of kindness \/ one of the ways that kindness is manifested in a relationship\u2014is you begin to give other people, what I heard R. C. Sproul call one time, \u201cthe judgment of charity.\u201d We often call it \u201cthe benefit of the doubt.\u201d It is believing the best about another person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>That\u2019s hard, though.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is, but that\u2019s what <em>kindness<\/em> looks like. That\u2019s how we manifest kindness toward somebody else\u2014is we say, \u201cI\u2019m going to believe the best about you, even if I don\u2019t <em>feel<\/em> it right now,\u201d\u2014not naively \/ not covering up something\u2014but just saying, \u201cI\u2019ll believe the best.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Well, what I talk about in the book is that we have this sense of justice\u2014that things have to be fair, and sin needs to be punished. Even if it is sin that\u2014maybe isn\u2019t biblical sin\u2014but he just did something against me. We have a sense of justice that things need to be worked out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> Kindness is giving up that. It\u2019s giving up your sense of justice to the God who is just. One of the ways that it would manifest itself, now, in our marriage is\u2014if we start to fight, I want to talk it out and he wants to leave the room. He wants me to either go or he\u2019s going to go. I just: \u201cOh! I want to talk about it and work it out!\u201d I\u2019ve had to learn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are you sure he\u2019s Italian?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes; I\u2019m sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought Italians liked to get right out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>No, no, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>That\u2019s\u2014actually, that\u2019s more the Irish\u2014you know, fight it out. The Italians have the\u2014like: \u201cOkay, this is all business. We\u2019re going to plot against you, and put a horse head in your bed later.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ll get back to you later!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes. Well, no; that\u2019s the thing\u2014is that she has, just in this particular communication style, there are certain moments where I realize, that whatever we\u2019re talking about, \u201cIt ain\u2019t going anywhere.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>We\u2019re in the endless loop. Those are those moments where her act of kindness is to trust me\u2014that us pulling away for a second and letting things cool down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: \u201c<\/strong>A time-out might really help here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>But it doesn\u2019t mean that I walk off, and I\u2019m fine. It doesn\u2019t mean that I walk off and I don\u2019t want to throw plates because I really do! But I don\u2019t anymore. What I do is\u2014I go into a room where I can shut the door and, hopefully, not slam it\u2014but shut the door. I get on my knees, and I pray, and I pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy initial is: \u201cThat dog\u2014I can\u2019t believe he did that!\u201d I\u2019m angry, and I\u2019m giving God the riot act. Then, I realize: \u201cWait a minute! What does God want me to learn in this? Why is this chafing happening?\u201d Because, if I\u2019m responding to the Spirit, there\u2019s no chafing. So, \u201cWhat is it, in <em>me<\/em>, where I\u2019m not responding to the Spirit?\u201d and allow my mind to kind of hone in on Scripture that I know, and I find answers. Then, I move right to praying for him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo rather than getting on him for something, I go right to God for it, and begin to pray. That\u2019s how kindness shows up\u2014in that I\u2019m offering him prayers. Jesus says, \u201cPray for your enemies.\u201d That\u2019s what I\u2019m doing in those moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not imprecatory Psalms. That\u2019s not what you\u2019re praying for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Right; no. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But you also move to an apology\u2014you say, \u201cApologize quickly.\u201d You\u2019re wrinkling your face up. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Oh, man!\u2014apology. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>This is a long one because, in my family, we never apologized for anything. If I step on your toe, I say: \u201cWhy was your foot there?\u201d I don\u2019t have to say: \u2018Sorry.\u2019 Your foot should have been out of the way.\u201d We just do not say sorry\u2014I was <em>never<\/em> taught to say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was it a matter of pride in your family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know if it was pride. I think what I was taught was: \u201cWell, it was an accident. Why do you apologize for an accident? I didn\u2019t do it on purpose,\u201d and so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Intent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>\u2014right. I thought myself kind, and so I never did anything on purpose. So, I refused to say, \u201cSorry.\u201d That was something we had to work through a lot. That\u2019s why I wrinkle up my nose because\u2014\u201cBoy! Me learning to say, \u2018Sorry,\u2019 was like pulling teeth,\u201d\u2014I did <em>not<\/em> want to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>The strange thing was\u2014our daughter was the same way. As far as when she was, just, little, little\u2014it was like pulling teeth. I mean, she would just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Cry for an hour\u2014not to say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes, at the thought of saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m going to say something that could get me in trouble. I mean, I asked you a question that was designed to get you in trouble, as we started here. [Laughter] So, I\u2019m going to just say something that could get me in trouble; but I\u2019ve said this before\u2014and I say it, hopefully, kindly and graciously\u2014but it has been my observation that one of the dominating issues, for a lot of women, is this issue of wanting to be in control\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Amen! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014of everything in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>No; you\u2019re right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I\u2019m thinking of that in relation to the issue of self-control, as one of the fruit of the Spirit, because it does seem to me, that for safety and security reasons, women often think, \u201cI must be in control of my environment \/ everything around me or else I\u2019m not safe.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, there\u2019s a false sense there because you\u2019re never really in control. God\u2019s in control. But I\u2019m just wondering about this issue of self-control and whether that even relates to this control-issue that\u2019s going on in a woman\u2019s life. Does that make sense?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes; that does make sense. That is a <em>big one<\/em>. Everywhere I go, women are like, \u201cOh yes, I want to be in control.\u201d It\u2019s just what we want to do\u2014women want to be in control of their husbands. That\u2019s natural. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI haven\u2019t really considered the idea of that lining up with self-control, but as you asked me that, I started to say, \u201cWell, what do they both have in common?\u201d We often get confused that self-control, with the word \u201cself\u201d in it, means that it\u2019s something we have to generate our<em>selves<\/em> to control. But really what it is\u2014it\u2019s an act of controlling <em>yourself<\/em>. Does that make sense?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>In other words, you take away self\u2014you say: \u201cNo! The Holy Spirit in me is in control here, not <em>self<\/em>.\u201d So self has to be pushed aside. In the area of controlling others, we are faced with this need for self-control and that we have to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to <em>self<\/em>. We have to let self-control come from the Holy Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the issue\u2019s really the <em>self<\/em> issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because the woman who\u2019s trying to control her circumstances is saying: \u201cI can run this. I\u2019m in charge.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes; and, more than that: \u201cI deserve it. I need my house to look like this,\u201d \u201cI need him to act that way,\u201d \u201cI need the kids to be like this,\u201d\u2014where it\u2019s just we\u2019ve created our whole world in an ideal of how it has to be. If it\u2019s not like that, it\u2019s the end of the world; so we are going to control it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hayley, you wrote a whole book on this subject, about death to self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What was the name of the book?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong><em>Die Young<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong><em>Die Young<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley: <\/strong>\u2014<em>B<\/em><em>urying Your Self in Christ<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was just the way of the cross\u2014that, if you\u2019re going to be a follower of Jesus Christ, you have to learn how to deny yourself those luxuries of controlling other people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>That\u2019s the great thing about those verses about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. A lot of people will just lop off the last verse\u2014verse 24\u2014where it states, \u201cAnd those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we talk about controlling self, it\u2019s really putting self to death. That control issue really feeds back into the whole issue of peace because, when you feel out of control or the need for control, you really have no peace; you have no peace in a God that is in control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a good point. I\u2019m just curious why you did not write <em>The Fruitful Husband <\/em>at the same time she was writing this book. So, what\u2019s up with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Well, we really felt like the first book really should be for women because, one, this was a journey that Hayley started.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The point is that love, and joy, and peace, and patience, and kindness, and goodness\u2014all of this--needs to be worked out in the soul of a man just as much as it needs to be worked out in the soul of a woman; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Absolutely! Just our confessions are different or the way it manifests itself in the marriage relationship is different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for me, while Hayley has gone on this journey of the fruit of the Spirit in her life, for me\u2014she could testify to this, I <em>think<\/em>\u2014I hope and pray\u2014my anger \/ my short fuse\u2014whether hereditary or just sinful nature\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s hereditary too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes\u2014it\u2019s lengthened considerably because of living through the Spirit and the Spirit living in me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And watching her change in front of your very eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>Yes! It\u2019s catalytic, where you see someone deny themselves. You see someone living in the Spirit\u2014it truly is supernatural. You say\u2014whether it\u2019s a tennis match and one person drops the racket and stops playing or it\u2019s just two people shouting in a racquetball court and, all of a sudden, you only hear your voice\u2014the sound of your own sin is deafening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; I want to just ask our listeners to listen carefully as I read Galatians, Chapter 5, verses 22 and 23, as I list out the nine fruit of the Spirit. Pick the one you want to close this broadcast with, as a listener, that you want to ask Him, the Holy Spirit, to produce in your soul today\u2014for your spouse \/ for your kids\u2014maybe, if you\u2019re a single person, your roommate or your parents\u2014just listen carefully and pick which one you want Him to produce: \u201cBut the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, finish the chapter. Read that last verse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cAgainst such things there is no law, and those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you have it? Have you picked it? I\u2019m going to pick one. How about you, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think I\u2019ll pass on that. [Laughter] I\u2019ll just get right to telling people about how to get a copy of\u2014[Laughter]\u2014how to get <em>The Fruitful Wife <\/em>by Hayley DiMarco.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ve been praying for Bob for years on this. This is\u2014I\u2019ve missed my opportunity right here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You could go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to order a copy of Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>The Fruitful Wife<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>The Fruitful Wife<\/em>\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe should also mention your wife has a new book out for wives. It\u2019s called <em>Letters to My Daughters. <\/em>It\u2019s all about the art of being a wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a collection of letters she has written over the last ten years to your daughters and daughters-in-law, giving input and godly counsel on how to be the kind of wife that God would have every wife to be. Of course, you can order copies of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Letters to My Daughters, <\/em>when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Either order online or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let\u2019s see how quickly you can do the math on this; okay? If you got married in 1972, on this day\u20141972\u2014which anniversary would this be?\u2014your 44<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary; that\u2019s right. And that\u2019s what Jerry and Gwyn Pitts in Beaverton, Oregon, are celebrating today\u201444 years together as husband and wife. We just wanted to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Pitts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are Proud Sponsors of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>, here at <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We believe anniversaries matter a <em>lot<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re celebrating our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary this year, and we\u2019re doing it by focusing on all of the couples who have celebrated anniversaries because of how God has been at work through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>We just wanted to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who partner with us to make all of this happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve had some friends come to us recently, aware that it\u2019s our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary and also aware that, as we head into the summer months, we often experience a dip or a decline in donation revenue. They wanted to make sure that we can get through the summer strong. They have agreed to match any donation we receive, during the month of May, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $350,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we\u2019re asking you to consider today going to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014donate over the phone; or mail you donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, all donations are going to be matched, dollar for dollar, up to that total of $350,000 as long as we hear from you by the end of this month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to explore how we, as parents, can raise children in an increasingly post-Christian culture and still have our children know and love God in the process. We are going to hear a message from Dr. Al Mohler tomorrow. Hope you can be here and tune in to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304014","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304014"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304014"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304014"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304014"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304014"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}