{"id":304010,"date":"2016-05-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-05-24T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/keeping-the-covenant\/"},"modified":"2016-05-24T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-05-24T15:00:00","slug":"keeping-the-covenant","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/keeping-the-covenant\/","title":{"rendered":"Keeping the Covenant"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jay and Katherine Wolf share their love story. After four years of happily-ever-after, Katherine, a model, endured a massive stroke. Katherine and Jay share what God is teaching them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-24.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.8M","filesize_raw":"23906183","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2885,2860],"tags":[4641,4623,4640,2950],"podcast_series":[7267],"cwp_profile":[3405],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304010","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-good-marriages-made-better","category-hardship-and-suffering","tag-hardship","tag-love-story","tag-stroke","tag-trauma","podcast_series-hope-heals","cwp_profile-jay-and-katherine-wolf","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304010\/keeping-the-covenant","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304010\/keeping-the-covenant","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"p7zPNdwbfv\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/keeping-the-covenant\/\">Keeping the Covenant<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/keeping-the-covenant\/embed\/#?secret=p7zPNdwbfv\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Keeping the Covenant&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"p7zPNdwbfv\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In 2008, when 26-year-old Katherine Wolf suffered a brainstem stroke, without any warning, her husband Jay reflected back to their wedding day, just four years before her injury.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> We didn\u2019t know what we were signing up for\u2014so all of us\u2014like: \u201cWait a minute. This is what I thought my reality was going to be\u2014my future, and my wife, just my whole situation.\u201d The question becomes: \u201cWhat do I do with that?\u201d What does commitment \/ what does covenant look like, even when it seems to turn out completely different than I thought it would look?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear from Jay and Katherine Wolf today about what real love looks like in marriage. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I just have to say\u2014it\u2019s interesting to think back to the last time we had a wheel chair in our studio. I\u2019m thinking back to the early years of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> when we had a remarkable couple who joined us\u2014a husband, who was on a breathing apparatus because he was battling ALS. He and his wife joined us to talk about their struggle. Charlie and Lucy Wedermeyer were guests on FamilyLife Today, back\u2014this had to be in the middle 1990\u2019s. Today, we\u2019ve got another wheel chair in the studio\u2014first time, I think, since Charlie Wedermeyer was here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re right, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you will remember, I think it\u2019s the only time in 24 years of broadcasting when I have cried so hard I couldn\u2019t speak. It just was a great love story \/ just a <em>tremendous<\/em> love story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is another one of those love stories that you\u2019re going to enjoy, as a listener. It\u2019s going to put things in perspective with you and introduce a dimension of who God is that perhaps you\u2019ve never thought about before. We have the authors of a new book called <em>Hope Heals: A True Story of Overwhelming Loss and Overcoming Love<\/em> authored by Katherine and Jay Wolf. Jay, Katherine\u2014welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Thank you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re from Southern California. As we taped this, they brought the rain from Southern California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s no rain in Southern California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There probably isn\u2019t on the day this will be aired. But there was when we taped it, Bob; and it is pouring cats and dogs out there. We\u2019re thrilled you guys are here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re the parents of two boys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019ve been married since 2004 and have a great ministry to married couples, who may be thinking they\u2019re the most unique person on the planet. We heard earlier, Katherine, about a sudden stroke\u2014you\u2019re in your 20s, happily married, life was humming along, you had a new baby. You were in a modeling career. Life couldn\u2019t be better. You had a ministry taking place in your church to married couples, and a stroke completely took you down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And almost took your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And took you into the hospital for the next 40 days, where you were in ICU?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Oh, listen; it wasn\u2019t 40 days in the hospital\u2014it was 40 days in <em>ICU<\/em>. It was over 2 years in hospital settings before I was able to move home\u20142 years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you unconscious for the next 40 days after your stroke?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Well yes and no. I was not evidently completely unconscious. I was able to move my hands, and kind of look around, and things; but I was in a coma-like state. I have no memory of any of that time whatsoever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jay, what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> There was just one emergency to the next\u2014one sort of, \u201cWill she recover from this new infection?\u201d or \u201c\u2026pneumonia?\u201d Katherine was amazingly tracking with us\u2014she couldn\u2019t talk \/ she was on life support. She was paralyzed but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She was responsive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> \u2014she was responsive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019d squeeze your hand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Absolutely. She would actually, at certain stages\u2014went forward. This, again, was just the grace of God. There were family members we\u2019d see in the ICU\u2014back over there, just waiting for anything. So God gave us very quickly this sign that Katherine was in there\u2014that she was trying to get out and communicate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Within the first 24 hours after the surgery, the nurses were telling her to hold up two fingers, and she was doing it. They could <em>not<\/em> believe\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> It was a miracle; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The thing that stuck out to me, as I read your story\u2014Katherine, when you regained consciousness, you had one of these lap devices, where you would speak through your device. You\u2019d tap out what you wanted to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> A letter board; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you kept saying, \u201cI\u2019m in here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m the same on the inside.\u201d I would obsessively write, \u201cI\u2019m the same on the inside,\u201d over and over because I didn\u2019t want friends and family to think, \u201cNow that her brain is injured, and she\u2019s in this terrible disabled state,\u201d\u2014that it meant that I was now an elementary-aged child, processing-wise\u2014that I was no longer capable of interacting with them as an adult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I was petrified because, early on, people would come in, really well-meaning, but say [as though speaking to a child],\u201dHiiiiiii, Kaattheriiiine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was going: \u201cNo; I\u2019m the exact same, inside. Please don\u2019t do that! I hear you and I\u2019m not deaf.\u201d I am partly deaf, actually; but yes, they treated me like a child and didn\u2019t know that all the important things were fully intact\u2014my memory, my cognition \/ completely\u2014my processing \/ my faith was all in there. It\u2019s just the opposite of what many times brain injury can mean\u2014that is, everything is messed up on the inside and nothing on the outside\u2014I\u2019m literally the opposite of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They should have known that because, when they asked you to hold up two fingers, you didn\u2019t just hold up two fingers\u2014you held up the peace sign.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Yes; exactly! [Laughter] We\u2019re at peace\u2014peace not war! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you went through this period of time, Jay, what was taking place in your heart? Was it hope and then loss of hope? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, the title of your book talks about hope healing. Well, this is not an easy road of healing that you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay: <\/strong>No; absolutely not. I think we\u2019d all heard about strokes\u2014somebody\u2019s grandmother had a stroke\u2014but we just we didn\u2019t know what we were up against. Remember my best man in my wedding was getting married that fall. Katherine\u2019s stroke was at the end of April. I really thought: \u201cSurely, we\u2019ll be in his wedding. Katherine will be sickly, walking beside me, but she\u2019ll be there. It will be this triumphant thing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLittle did I know\u2014come August, she was hardly even able to sit up in bed without her blood pressure plummeting. She couldn\u2019t talk then. We just\u2014there would be these glimpses that God would give us, I think, of just like this future restoration. This is what we talk about when we talk about hope healing\u2014this future reality that really\u2014it looks maybe crazy to have faith that life can go on; and yet, \u201cWe\u2019re anchored beyond the veil,\u201d it says\u2014so there are a lot of those glimpses of hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, there were just as many moments of just, \u201cIs this real?\u201d and despair and moments, where they said: \u201cYou need to prepare yourself. She\u2019s not going to ever eat again.\u201d There were a lot of those decisions. I\u2019m 26 years old; and I\u2019m signing her life away, every other day, for procedures, and angiograms, and different forks in the road\u2014that I\u2019m like, \u201cThis is going to change the trajectory of our lives.\u201d So it was a lot to process for sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Two questions that I\u2019ve got to ask you. Katherine, I\u2019ve got to ask you this first because we\u2019ve laughed about the fact that eating is a big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s where you guys met\u2014in the cafeteria.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine: <\/strong>Exactly; exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So the idea that you might never eat again\u2014and at one point, that is what it looked like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014we don\u2019t stop to think about what a loss that is for somebody. My mom, at the last six months of her life, was on a feeding tube. She was feeding herself through the tube every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Yes; Jay fed me through my tube actually. My hand doesn\u2019t work; so I could never coordinate that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo he fed me for almost a year in my tube.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk, in the book, about how it\u2019s\u2014not just the sensation of chewing food or swallowing\u2014but our connectedness, as human beings, is often around food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right; right. It was a very <em>big<\/em> deal. Jay\u2019s tremendous wisdom enabled him to never speak the words to me that he had been told by my swallow therapist, which was that I would likely never eat again\u2014I\u2019d be on a feeding tube for life. He never told me that. He just decided: \u201cWell that\u2019s not going to be something that I\u2019m going to speak over Katherine. We\u2019re not going to say it.\u201d I never knew\u2014so I worked like a <em>dog<\/em> in swallow therapy for many, many, many months. I did all kinds of crazy exercises and really just threw the kitchen sink back at swallowing; and then finally, I <em>did<\/em> swallow again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what is fascinating\u2014fascinating to look at is: \u201cWhat happens when you absolutely do not believe something that is said to be true of you?\u201d I think it\u2019s very cool to look at the power of: \u201cYes, I will pray without ceasing. I will work without ceasing. We will knock down this deficit until I swallow food again.\u201d I think that\u2019s very powerful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo answer your other question: \u201cEating is <em>everything<\/em>.\u201d I mean, no doubt life happens around the table\u2014and not even meals\u2014meet a friend for coffee or hang out and have this or that \/ much less like a familial gathering\u2014always central is food. Not eating is a weird isolated world that you\u2019re in all alone. It\u2019s horribly alienating to not swallow because, socially, how do you connect? It really leaves you in this weird world by yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So here\u2019s this loss of\u2014it\u2019s not just loss of swallowing\u2014but it\u2019s almost like loss of relationship that is connected to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> On many levels because we were so young when this happened\u2014that all of our friends are having a baby, and the baby won\u2019t take a nap at the right time\u2014and that\u2019s their biggest problem in life. We don\u2019t want to be these people; but we are these people, now, that can\u2019t go back to worrying about our baby\u2019s nap schedule. Now, we\u2019re worrying about me <em>living<\/em>. We don\u2019t mean to be, but we\u2019re in this different category. We don\u2019t know how to be friends to anybody or befriended\u2014it\u2019s terribly isolating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the other question I have to ask you because, prior to your stroke, you were in a modeling career. So much of your identity was shaped around your appearance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Well, no; actually. Fascinatingly and truly God\u2019s goodness to me\u2014my identity was <em>never<\/em> rooted in my appearance. I made a successful living out of it and had a fair amount of success because of it; but thankfully, my identity was never remotely rooted in something as fleeting as my appearance\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so much so that\u2014when this happened to me, the appearance thing was a little bit of an afterthought because, when you can\u2019t eat and you can\u2019t walk, suddenly, how you look doesn\u2019t matter as much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI never considered myself particularly vain; however, there was loss associated, for sure, with the fact that I\u2019m never going to be a model again\u2014let\u2019s be real. The irony is\u2014I am a spokeswoman for the American Stroke Association. My face is plastered all over America, right now, on billboards\u2014the ultimate irony. [Laughter] I\u2019m not kidding\u2014I\u2019m dead serious!\u2014so pretty hilarious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut truly, throughout my entire life, I think that the verse\u2014I think it\u2019s 1 Samuel 16:7 that talks about \u201cGod sees the heart.\u201d I knew that and I honed in on that truth for years. I knew that what the world sees is not all there is and all that matters anyway\u2014\u2014that God is calling us to something deeper and greater than our appearance on earth. The body is temporary \/ what is unseen is eternal. It says in 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 that this is going away but what is unseen will last forever. I believe that truth on some level.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jay, you\u2014there have to have been moments in the journey that you\u2019ve been on when maybe, just in the back of your mind \/ maybe in the front of your mind, you\u2019ve thought, \u201cThis was not what I was dreaming of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Sure\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cThis is not what I thought I was signing on for,\u201d \u201cReally? This is the path I get?\u201d I mean, the pre-stroke path was a pretty sweet path to be on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, all of a sudden, you\u2019re on a rocky bumpy ride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes; I think for any marriage, really\u2014this is sort of the extreme version of it\u2014but you know, we are confronted with the reality that we didn\u2019t know what we were signing up for\u2014so all of us\u2014like: \u201cWait a minute. This is what I thought my reality was going to be\u2014and my future, and my wife, and just my whole situation.\u201d The question becomes: \u201cWhat do I do with that? What is commitment? What does covenant look like, even when it seems to turn out completely differently than you thought?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about that for a second: \u201cWhat does covenant look like?\u201d I mean, it is one thing for Barbara and I to have gone through 43 years, as a couple, and a number of mountain peaks and valleys for us; but this is going to be a long valley for you. \u201cWhat\u2019s covenant look like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> I think, early on even, there was a lot of admonition: \u201cYou\u2019re going to burn out.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was a social worker, who said, \u201cNinety percent of couples your age, with brain injury involved, get divorced\u2014ninety percent. You just need to slow down and take some time for you.\u201d It wasn\u2019t a heroic statement in the moment; but I said: \u201cKatherine can\u2019t take a break from this. Why would I take a break? We\u2019ll go have a vacation together when she\u2019s out of here, but I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d I just saw my path as this bolstering of Katherine. She was the one fighting the hard battle, but I got to come alongside her and continue to lift her up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think\u2014again, our marriages, all the time, turn out differently than we think. We roll over, and wake up, and we\u2019re thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s a stranger next to me.\u201d I mean, really, you go through different things in life and different seasons\u2014it changes us. Yet the question becomes: \u201cIs this covenant going to trump the feelings that I do or don\u2019t have at this moment?\u201d We\u2019re so worried about: \u201cWhat\u2019s our truth? What are we <em>feeling<\/em>? Are we <em>feeling<\/em> it?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not, you can\u2019t force it\u2014like that would not be authentic. I reject that cultural maxim. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is\u2014not to <em>feel<\/em> it. The point is to act out in love toward this woman I promised to love. It really clicked with me to think: \u201cI know what the loving thing is to do for my wife, and I\u2019m going to do it.\u201d Maybe I\u2019m not always feeling it\u2014you know\u2014this is really tough, and there\u2019s a lot of stress here; but God has shown this immense amount of faithfulness, within the context of this covenant of our marriage, that He has grown our love so deeply through this suffering. It continues to motivate this acting in love, no matter what we\u2019re feeling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The essence of what I heard you saying there is, \u201cI\u2019m a man of my word.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI promised.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m all in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ve said, many times on this broadcast, that courage isn\u2019t necessarily found only on a smoke-filled battlefield in a foreign country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourage can be found in homes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014between a husband and a wife doing your duty in the face of fear\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014doing the next right thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Just keep on doing the right thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Katherine, have you ever felt any sense of\u2014guilt\u2019s not the right word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> No!\u2014for sure; for sure. That is the right word in many ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here, your husband is stuck with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Absolutely! There was a woman, who emailed us, early on in my ordeal, and said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you release your husband from your marriage?\u201d We were just so on a different page.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right; like, \u201cThanks for that one!\u201d I could barely do anything, at that point; particularly unique choice for her, but I understand that sentiment in a way for sure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the notion of more guilt than a feeling of \u201cShould I release?\u201d\u2014but kind of a weird sense of, \u201cHow can I do this to this man?\u201d Of course, it\u2019s not my fault \/ I didn\u2019t want to have a stroke. But there\u2019s sadness, I think, and a deep sense of: \u201cIf I would have died when I had the stroke, he could remarry a healthy woman. If I would have died when I had the stroke, my son James could have a healthy, normal, not disabled mommy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat all came to a head in the fall of 2008, when I had failed my ninth swallowing test and still could not walk at all\u2014I can walk a little bit now\u2014was just really bad off. It all came to a head and I wondered if God did, in fact, make a mistake by leaving me on earth \/ if I should have died\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if I should no longer be caught between life and death but actually go ahead and be in heaven\u2014then Jay could have a normal life, etc. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe answer was so clear in that moment. God really spoke into my mess and <em>really<\/em> just infused me with the truth that: \u201cI don\u2019t make mistakes, Katherine,\u201d and that: \u201cHello! Jay could never remarry a woman as amazing as you are\u2014let\u2019s be real!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Totally; it\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> I was deeply infused with the truth of Psalm 139\u2014that you are \u201cfearfully and wonderfully made\u201d\u2014\u201cI knew everything about you, Katherine.\u201d The Lord says that, \u201cThe number of hairs on your head I know; so of course, I\u2019m in charge. I don\u2019t make mistakes,\u201d and \u201cLet\u2019s be real\u2014get some self-confidence. You\u2019re amazing, Katherine Wolf.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSide note\u2014all you ladies, listening out there, are\u2014your men are <em>lucky<\/em> to have you and you are <em>lucky<\/em> to have them. I don\u2019t believe in luck\u2014you are <em>blessed<\/em> to have these amazing people to do life with. Don\u2019t sell yourself short. I let the guilt just go to bed and stay there because who needs that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, we started this broadcast out, talking about another couple that we interviewed years ago\u2014Lucy and Charlie Wedermeyer. This is a scene\u2014wow, I\u2019ll never forget\u2014they described, in the interview, she had helped him get to the restroom. She was having back problems because she had to physically help him with everything he was doing. As he was sitting on the stool, he said to her, \u201cI think you\u2019d be better off if I was just dead.\u201d And she took his face in her hands and said: \u201cNever! Never! You are giving to me to love.\u201d [Emotion in voice]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are the kind of love stories that we need to be talking about in our culture. Marriage has lost its true grit. It\u2019s become too much of the romantic stream\u2014that it doesn\u2019t have the difficulties that you described here. As a result \/ as a culture, we know very little about love\u2014the love of God \/ the love of Christ. That is what you all are demonstrating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you are modeling in this interview. It\u2019s what you\u2019ve modeled in your book, <em>Hope Heals<\/em>, which is a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Listeners can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com if they\u2019d like to order a copy. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or they can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order a copy over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and the phone number is 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve talked a lot about commitment today. Ryan and Jennifer Henriksen from Courtland, Kansas, are celebrating eight years of commitment to one another in marriage. They got married on this day in 2008. They listen regularly to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on KJRL. We just wanted to congratulate them because, again, we think anniversaries matter. We are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>, here, as we celebrate our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry. We\u2019re celebrating by drawing attention to many of the anniversaries that have happened over the years because of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of so many couples over the last 40 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve recently had some friends of the ministry, who have come to us\u2014and because it\u2019s our 40th anniversary and because they know summertime can be a challenging time for ministries like ours\u2014they have agreed that they will match every donation we receive, during the month of May, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $350,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019re hoping to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity, which means we need to hear from <em>you<\/em> this week. We\u2019re asking you to consider making a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Or mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; the zip code is 72223. Again, keep in mind any donation you make, between now and the end of this month, is matched, dollar for dollar, up to $350,000. \u201cThanks,\u201d for whatever you are able to do to help us take full advantage of this special matching gift during our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the things that make a wife a fruitful wife. We\u2019re not talking about children \/ we\u2019re talking about character qualities. I\u2019m guessing you will recognize some of these. We\u2019re going to talk with Michael and Hayley DiMarco tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.8M"],"filesize_raw":["23906183"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304010.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304010.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Katherine Wolf share their love story. After four years of happily-ever-after, Katherine, a model, endured a massive stroke. Katherine and Jay share what God is teaching them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In 2008, when 26-year-old Katherine Wolf suffered a brainstem stroke, without any warning, her husband Jay reflected back to their wedding day, just four years before her injury.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> We didn\u2019t know what we were signing up for\u2014so all of us\u2014like: \u201cWait a minute. This is what I thought my reality was going to be\u2014my future, and my wife, just my whole situation.\u201d The question becomes: \u201cWhat do I do with that?\u201d What does commitment \/ what does covenant look like, even when it seems to turn out completely different than I thought it would look?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear from Jay and Katherine Wolf today about what real love looks like in marriage. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I just have to say\u2014it\u2019s interesting to think back to the last time we had a wheel chair in our studio. I\u2019m thinking back to the early years of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> when we had a remarkable couple who joined us\u2014a husband, who was on a breathing apparatus because he was battling ALS. He and his wife joined us to talk about their struggle. Charlie and Lucy Wedermeyer were guests on FamilyLife Today, back\u2014this had to be in the middle 1990\u2019s. Today, we\u2019ve got another wheel chair in the studio\u2014first time, I think, since Charlie Wedermeyer was here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re right, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you will remember, I think it\u2019s the only time in 24 years of broadcasting when I have cried so hard I couldn\u2019t speak. It just was a great love story \/ just a <em>tremendous<\/em> love story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is another one of those love stories that you\u2019re going to enjoy, as a listener. It\u2019s going to put things in perspective with you and introduce a dimension of who God is that perhaps you\u2019ve never thought about before. We have the authors of a new book called <em>Hope Heals: A True Story of Overwhelming Loss and Overcoming Love<\/em> authored by Katherine and Jay Wolf. Jay, Katherine\u2014welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Thank you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019re from Southern California. As we taped this, they brought the rain from Southern California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s no rain in Southern California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There probably isn\u2019t on the day this will be aired. But there was when we taped it, Bob; and it is pouring cats and dogs out there. We\u2019re thrilled you guys are here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re the parents of two boys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019ve been married since 2004 and have a great ministry to married couples, who may be thinking they\u2019re the most unique person on the planet. We heard earlier, Katherine, about a sudden stroke\u2014you\u2019re in your 20s, happily married, life was humming along, you had a new baby. You were in a modeling career. Life couldn\u2019t be better. You had a ministry taking place in your church to married couples, and a stroke completely took you down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And almost took your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And took you into the hospital for the next 40 days, where you were in ICU?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Oh, listen; it wasn\u2019t 40 days in the hospital\u2014it was 40 days in <em>ICU<\/em>. It was over 2 years in hospital settings before I was able to move home\u20142 years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you unconscious for the next 40 days after your stroke?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Well yes and no. I was not evidently completely unconscious. I was able to move my hands, and kind of look around, and things; but I was in a coma-like state. I have no memory of any of that time whatsoever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jay, what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> There was just one emergency to the next\u2014one sort of, \u201cWill she recover from this new infection?\u201d or \u201c\u2026pneumonia?\u201d Katherine was amazingly tracking with us\u2014she couldn\u2019t talk \/ she was on life support. She was paralyzed but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She was responsive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> \u2014she was responsive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She\u2019d squeeze your hand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Absolutely. She would actually, at certain stages\u2014went forward. This, again, was just the grace of God. There were family members we\u2019d see in the ICU\u2014back over there, just waiting for anything. So God gave us very quickly this sign that Katherine was in there\u2014that she was trying to get out and communicate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Within the first 24 hours after the surgery, the nurses were telling her to hold up two fingers, and she was doing it. They could <em>not<\/em> believe\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> It was a miracle; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The thing that stuck out to me, as I read your story\u2014Katherine, when you regained consciousness, you had one of these lap devices, where you would speak through your device. You\u2019d tap out what you wanted to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> A letter board; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you kept saying, \u201cI\u2019m in here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m the same on the inside.\u201d I would obsessively write, \u201cI\u2019m the same on the inside,\u201d over and over because I didn\u2019t want friends and family to think, \u201cNow that her brain is injured, and she\u2019s in this terrible disabled state,\u201d\u2014that it meant that I was now an elementary-aged child, processing-wise\u2014that I was no longer capable of interacting with them as an adult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I was petrified because, early on, people would come in, really well-meaning, but say [as though speaking to a child],\u201dHiiiiiii, Kaattheriiiine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was going: \u201cNo; I\u2019m the exact same, inside. Please don\u2019t do that! I hear you and I\u2019m not deaf.\u201d I am partly deaf, actually; but yes, they treated me like a child and didn\u2019t know that all the important things were fully intact\u2014my memory, my cognition \/ completely\u2014my processing \/ my faith was all in there. It\u2019s just the opposite of what many times brain injury can mean\u2014that is, everything is messed up on the inside and nothing on the outside\u2014I\u2019m literally the opposite of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They should have known that because, when they asked you to hold up two fingers, you didn\u2019t just hold up two fingers\u2014you held up the peace sign.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Yes; exactly! [Laughter] We\u2019re at peace\u2014peace not war! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you went through this period of time, Jay, what was taking place in your heart? Was it hope and then loss of hope? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, the title of your book talks about hope healing. Well, this is not an easy road of healing that you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay: <\/strong>No; absolutely not. I think we\u2019d all heard about strokes\u2014somebody\u2019s grandmother had a stroke\u2014but we just we didn\u2019t know what we were up against. Remember my best man in my wedding was getting married that fall. Katherine\u2019s stroke was at the end of April. I really thought: \u201cSurely, we\u2019ll be in his wedding. Katherine will be sickly, walking beside me, but she\u2019ll be there. It will be this triumphant thing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLittle did I know\u2014come August, she was hardly even able to sit up in bed without her blood pressure plummeting. She couldn\u2019t talk then. We just\u2014there would be these glimpses that God would give us, I think, of just like this future restoration. This is what we talk about when we talk about hope healing\u2014this future reality that really\u2014it looks maybe crazy to have faith that life can go on; and yet, \u201cWe\u2019re anchored beyond the veil,\u201d it says\u2014so there are a lot of those glimpses of hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, there were just as many moments of just, \u201cIs this real?\u201d and despair and moments, where they said: \u201cYou need to prepare yourself. She\u2019s not going to ever eat again.\u201d There were a lot of those decisions. I\u2019m 26 years old; and I\u2019m signing her life away, every other day, for procedures, and angiograms, and different forks in the road\u2014that I\u2019m like, \u201cThis is going to change the trajectory of our lives.\u201d So it was a lot to process for sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Two questions that I\u2019ve got to ask you. Katherine, I\u2019ve got to ask you this first because we\u2019ve laughed about the fact that eating is a big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s where you guys met\u2014in the cafeteria.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine: <\/strong>Exactly; exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So the idea that you might never eat again\u2014and at one point, that is what it looked like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014we don\u2019t stop to think about what a loss that is for somebody. My mom, at the last six months of her life, was on a feeding tube. She was feeding herself through the tube every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Yes; Jay fed me through my tube actually. My hand doesn\u2019t work; so I could never coordinate that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo he fed me for almost a year in my tube.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk, in the book, about how it\u2019s\u2014not just the sensation of chewing food or swallowing\u2014but our connectedness, as human beings, is often around food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right; right. It was a very <em>big<\/em> deal. Jay\u2019s tremendous wisdom enabled him to never speak the words to me that he had been told by my swallow therapist, which was that I would likely never eat again\u2014I\u2019d be on a feeding tube for life. He never told me that. He just decided: \u201cWell that\u2019s not going to be something that I\u2019m going to speak over Katherine. We\u2019re not going to say it.\u201d I never knew\u2014so I worked like a <em>dog<\/em> in swallow therapy for many, many, many months. I did all kinds of crazy exercises and really just threw the kitchen sink back at swallowing; and then finally, I <em>did<\/em> swallow again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo what is fascinating\u2014fascinating to look at is: \u201cWhat happens when you absolutely do not believe something that is said to be true of you?\u201d I think it\u2019s very cool to look at the power of: \u201cYes, I will pray without ceasing. I will work without ceasing. We will knock down this deficit until I swallow food again.\u201d I think that\u2019s very powerful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo answer your other question: \u201cEating is <em>everything<\/em>.\u201d I mean, no doubt life happens around the table\u2014and not even meals\u2014meet a friend for coffee or hang out and have this or that \/ much less like a familial gathering\u2014always central is food. Not eating is a weird isolated world that you\u2019re in all alone. It\u2019s horribly alienating to not swallow because, socially, how do you connect? It really leaves you in this weird world by yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So here\u2019s this loss of\u2014it\u2019s not just loss of swallowing\u2014but it\u2019s almost like loss of relationship that is connected to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> On many levels because we were so young when this happened\u2014that all of our friends are having a baby, and the baby won\u2019t take a nap at the right time\u2014and that\u2019s their biggest problem in life. We don\u2019t want to be these people; but we are these people, now, that can\u2019t go back to worrying about our baby\u2019s nap schedule. Now, we\u2019re worrying about me <em>living<\/em>. We don\u2019t mean to be, but we\u2019re in this different category. We don\u2019t know how to be friends to anybody or befriended\u2014it\u2019s terribly isolating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s the other question I have to ask you because, prior to your stroke, you were in a modeling career. So much of your identity was shaped around your appearance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Well, no; actually. Fascinatingly and truly God\u2019s goodness to me\u2014my identity was <em>never<\/em> rooted in my appearance. I made a successful living out of it and had a fair amount of success because of it; but thankfully, my identity was never remotely rooted in something as fleeting as my appearance\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014so much so that\u2014when this happened to me, the appearance thing was a little bit of an afterthought because, when you can\u2019t eat and you can\u2019t walk, suddenly, how you look doesn\u2019t matter as much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI never considered myself particularly vain; however, there was loss associated, for sure, with the fact that I\u2019m never going to be a model again\u2014let\u2019s be real. The irony is\u2014I am a spokeswoman for the American Stroke Association. My face is plastered all over America, right now, on billboards\u2014the ultimate irony. [Laughter] I\u2019m not kidding\u2014I\u2019m dead serious!\u2014so pretty hilarious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut truly, throughout my entire life, I think that the verse\u2014I think it\u2019s 1 Samuel 16:7 that talks about \u201cGod sees the heart.\u201d I knew that and I honed in on that truth for years. I knew that what the world sees is not all there is and all that matters anyway\u2014\u2014that God is calling us to something deeper and greater than our appearance on earth. The body is temporary \/ what is unseen is eternal. It says in 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 that this is going away but what is unseen will last forever. I believe that truth on some level.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jay, you\u2014there have to have been moments in the journey that you\u2019ve been on when maybe, just in the back of your mind \/ maybe in the front of your mind, you\u2019ve thought, \u201cThis was not what I was dreaming of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Sure\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cThis is not what I thought I was signing on for,\u201d \u201cReally? This is the path I get?\u201d I mean, the pre-stroke path was a pretty sweet path to be on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, all of a sudden, you\u2019re on a rocky bumpy ride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes; I think for any marriage, really\u2014this is sort of the extreme version of it\u2014but you know, we are confronted with the reality that we didn\u2019t know what we were signing up for\u2014so all of us\u2014like: \u201cWait a minute. This is what I thought my reality was going to be\u2014and my future, and my wife, and just my whole situation.\u201d The question becomes: \u201cWhat do I do with that? What is commitment? What does covenant look like, even when it seems to turn out completely differently than you thought?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s talk about that for a second: \u201cWhat does covenant look like?\u201d I mean, it is one thing for Barbara and I to have gone through 43 years, as a couple, and a number of mountain peaks and valleys for us; but this is going to be a long valley for you. \u201cWhat\u2019s covenant look like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> I think, early on even, there was a lot of admonition: \u201cYou\u2019re going to burn out.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was a social worker, who said, \u201cNinety percent of couples your age, with brain injury involved, get divorced\u2014ninety percent. You just need to slow down and take some time for you.\u201d It wasn\u2019t a heroic statement in the moment; but I said: \u201cKatherine can\u2019t take a break from this. Why would I take a break? We\u2019ll go have a vacation together when she\u2019s out of here, but I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d I just saw my path as this bolstering of Katherine. She was the one fighting the hard battle, but I got to come alongside her and continue to lift her up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think\u2014again, our marriages, all the time, turn out differently than we think. We roll over, and wake up, and we\u2019re thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s a stranger next to me.\u201d I mean, really, you go through different things in life and different seasons\u2014it changes us. Yet the question becomes: \u201cIs this covenant going to trump the feelings that I do or don\u2019t have at this moment?\u201d We\u2019re so worried about: \u201cWhat\u2019s our truth? What are we <em>feeling<\/em>? Are we <em>feeling<\/em> it?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not, you can\u2019t force it\u2014like that would not be authentic. I reject that cultural maxim. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is\u2014not to <em>feel<\/em> it. The point is to act out in love toward this woman I promised to love. It really clicked with me to think: \u201cI know what the loving thing is to do for my wife, and I\u2019m going to do it.\u201d Maybe I\u2019m not always feeling it\u2014you know\u2014this is really tough, and there\u2019s a lot of stress here; but God has shown this immense amount of faithfulness, within the context of this covenant of our marriage, that He has grown our love so deeply through this suffering. It continues to motivate this acting in love, no matter what we\u2019re feeling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The essence of what I heard you saying there is, \u201cI\u2019m a man of my word.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI promised.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m all in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ve said, many times on this broadcast, that courage isn\u2019t necessarily found only on a smoke-filled battlefield in a foreign country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCourage can be found in homes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014between a husband and a wife doing your duty in the face of fear\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014doing the next right thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Just keep on doing the right thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Katherine, have you ever felt any sense of\u2014guilt\u2019s not the right word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> No!\u2014for sure; for sure. That is the right word in many ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here, your husband is stuck with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Absolutely! There was a woman, who emailed us, early on in my ordeal, and said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you release your husband from your marriage?\u201d We were just so on a different page.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> Right; like, \u201cThanks for that one!\u201d I could barely do anything, at that point; particularly unique choice for her, but I understand that sentiment in a way for sure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the notion of more guilt than a feeling of \u201cShould I release?\u201d\u2014but kind of a weird sense of, \u201cHow can I do this to this man?\u201d Of course, it\u2019s not my fault \/ I didn\u2019t want to have a stroke. But there\u2019s sadness, I think, and a deep sense of: \u201cIf I would have died when I had the stroke, he could remarry a healthy woman. If I would have died when I had the stroke, my son James could have a healthy, normal, not disabled mommy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat all came to a head in the fall of 2008, when I had failed my ninth swallowing test and still could not walk at all\u2014I can walk a little bit now\u2014was just really bad off. It all came to a head and I wondered if God did, in fact, make a mistake by leaving me on earth \/ if I should have died\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if I should no longer be caught between life and death but actually go ahead and be in heaven\u2014then Jay could have a normal life, etc. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe answer was so clear in that moment. God really spoke into my mess and <em>really<\/em> just infused me with the truth that: \u201cI don\u2019t make mistakes, Katherine,\u201d and that: \u201cHello! Jay could never remarry a woman as amazing as you are\u2014let\u2019s be real!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Totally; it\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katherine:<\/strong> I was deeply infused with the truth of Psalm 139\u2014that you are \u201cfearfully and wonderfully made\u201d\u2014\u201cI knew everything about you, Katherine.\u201d The Lord says that, \u201cThe number of hairs on your head I know; so of course, I\u2019m in charge. I don\u2019t make mistakes,\u201d and \u201cLet\u2019s be real\u2014get some self-confidence. You\u2019re amazing, Katherine Wolf.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSide note\u2014all you ladies, listening out there, are\u2014your men are <em>lucky<\/em> to have you and you are <em>lucky<\/em> to have them. I don\u2019t believe in luck\u2014you are <em>blessed<\/em> to have these amazing people to do life with. Don\u2019t sell yourself short. I let the guilt just go to bed and stay there because who needs that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, we started this broadcast out, talking about another couple that we interviewed years ago\u2014Lucy and Charlie Wedermeyer. This is a scene\u2014wow, I\u2019ll never forget\u2014they described, in the interview, she had helped him get to the restroom. She was having back problems because she had to physically help him with everything he was doing. As he was sitting on the stool, he said to her, \u201cI think you\u2019d be better off if I was just dead.\u201d And she took his face in her hands and said: \u201cNever! Never! You are giving to me to love.\u201d [Emotion in voice]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are the kind of love stories that we need to be talking about in our culture. Marriage has lost its true grit. It\u2019s become too much of the romantic stream\u2014that it doesn\u2019t have the difficulties that you described here. As a result \/ as a culture, we know very little about love\u2014the love of God \/ the love of Christ. That is what you all are demonstrating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jay:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what you are modeling in this interview. It\u2019s what you\u2019ve modeled in your book, <em>Hope Heals<\/em>, which is a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Listeners can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com if they\u2019d like to order a copy. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or they can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order a copy over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and the phone number is 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve talked a lot about commitment today. Ryan and Jennifer Henriksen from Courtland, Kansas, are celebrating eight years of commitment to one another in marriage. They got married on this day in 2008. They listen regularly to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on KJRL. We just wanted to congratulate them because, again, we think anniversaries matter. We are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>, here, as we celebrate our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry. We\u2019re celebrating by drawing attention to many of the anniversaries that have happened over the years because of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of so many couples over the last 40 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve recently had some friends of the ministry, who have come to us\u2014and because it\u2019s our 40th anniversary and because they know summertime can be a challenging time for ministries like ours\u2014they have agreed that they will match every donation we receive, during the month of May, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $350,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019re hoping to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity, which means we need to hear from <em>you<\/em> this week. We\u2019re asking you to consider making a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Or mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; the zip code is 72223. Again, keep in mind any donation you make, between now and the end of this month, is matched, dollar for dollar, up to $350,000. \u201cThanks,\u201d for whatever you are able to do to help us take full advantage of this special matching gift during our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the things that make a wife a fruitful wife. We\u2019re not talking about children \/ we\u2019re talking about character qualities. I\u2019m guessing you will recognize some of these. We\u2019re going to talk with Michael and Hayley DiMarco tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304010"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304010"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304010"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304010"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}