{"id":303988,"date":"2016-05-09T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-05-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/under-the-influence-peer-pressure-and-motherhood\/"},"modified":"2016-05-09T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-05-09T15:00:00","slug":"under-the-influence-peer-pressure-and-motherhood","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/under-the-influence-peer-pressure-and-motherhood\/","title":{"rendered":"Under the Influence: Peer Pressure and Motherhood"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Meg Meeker encourages mothers to &#8220;jump off the train&#8221; of perfectionism and to simplify their lives by setting up boundaries and trusting their instincts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.86M","filesize_raw":"23967151","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[6003,5048,4087,6002],"podcast_series":[7871],"cwp_profile":[3187],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303988","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-declutter","tag-motherhood","tag-mothers","tag-simplify-your-life","podcast_series-the-10-habits-of-happy-mothers","cwp_profile-meg-meeker","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303988\/under-the-influence-peer-pressure-and-motherhood","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303988\/under-the-influence-peer-pressure-and-motherhood","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"LkfDNIRltm\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/under-the-influence-peer-pressure-and-motherhood\/\">Under the Influence: Peer Pressure and Motherhood<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/under-the-influence-peer-pressure-and-motherhood\/embed\/#?secret=LkfDNIRltm\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Under the Influence: Peer Pressure and Motherhood&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"LkfDNIRltm\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI wonder if my kids would be thriving more if they were doing\u2026\u201d It\u2019s really motivated by a desire to see your kids\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It\u2019s motivated by all good things. <em>That\u2019s<\/em> why it\u2019s such a hard beast to slay, if you will, because our hearts say: \u201cI want to be a <em>great<\/em> mom. I want <em>great<\/em> opportunities for my kids. I want my kids to go to <em>great<\/em> schools. I don\u2019t want them to fall behind. I want them to feel good about themselves.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we make a list of what we need our kids to be and do in order to be great kids. Then we make a list of what <em>we <\/em>need to do and be to be great moms. The problem is our list is too long and our expectations are too high\u2014that\u2019s when the joy goes away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then you meet a mom who says, \u201cYou know, we just decided we were going to go with this new violin lesson thing.\u201d You think, \u201cWell, I wonder if I should add that to the list.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It just keeps swelling and becomes unbearable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We felt some of that when we were raising our kids. What we attempted to do was build some boundaries. We said: \u201cYou know what? Because we have six children, we\u2019re going to have one outside extracurricular activity per child per semester.\u201d Now, that\u2019s enough of a crazy-maker, to have six kids going in different directions\u2014with Little League, with volleyball, with dance lessons, whatever they would choose. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we would try to do is steer them in the same direction so our sons played on the same Little League team or, at least, at the same park at the same time to be able to keep some degree of sanity and your schedule under control. What I hear you saying is\u2014if a mom is going to navigate, really, the pace of life and the comparison that\u2019s taking place, she had better pull out of the battle,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014reflect and re-center herself, and know what God is expecting of her, as a woman, wife, and, most certainly, as a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. And that\u2019s where we\u2019ve <em>really<\/em> veered away from this\u2014even a lot of Christian moms, whose hearts are really trying to do what God wants them to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s that we don\u2019t want to miss opportunities for ourselves or for our kids. We are not trusting our instincts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sort of look at it this way, Dennis and Bob\u2014we\u2019ve got all these mothers, who\u2019ve jumped on a train that\u2019s going very, very fast in a direction. We don\u2019t know exactly where it\u2019s taking us, but it\u2019s picking up speed as it goes. We all want off, but we want the gal next to us to go first: \u201cOkay, I have my child in three extracurricular activities, and I want him in two. But why don\u2019t you go first, neighbor?\u201d You know? That\u2019s where the freedom really comes, and that\u2019s why I would encourage every mother, listening to us: \u201cBe the first. Jump off the train!\u201d because it\u2019s wonderful! There\u2019s an <em>enormous<\/em> benefit in it for our kids; but since we\u2019re talking about moms, that\u2019s what brings some calm and sanity into our lives. I really worry about mothers and their health because there isn\u2019t <em>calm<\/em> in the American home anymore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s no correlation that we\u2019ve been able to see between how many extracurricular activities your kids are in and whether they turn out being spiritually healthy or mentally healthy. We\u2019re really propping our ladder up against the wrong thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and I just want to underscore what you said about the freedom that comes by making the hard choice. I want to brag on Barbara at this point\u2014she\u2019s not the perfect mother\u2014but we did the very thing you\u2019re talking about. Together, as a couple, we decided to break from the herd and not do what everybody else was doing. This was back in the early \u201880s, when homeschooling was pioneering stuff\u2014I mean, it was <em>radical<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe made the decision to pull our kids out of public school and homeschool for a period of time. I have to tell you, because of that decision, it gave us the sense of: \u201cYou know what? We don\u2019t have to do what everybody else is doing!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You kind of get in this herd mentality, where everybody\u2019s being funneled through this little crook in the funnel called education and \u201cEverybody has to do it the very same way.\u201d\u00a0 When we broke from what everyone else was doing, we thought: \u201cYou know what? We really are these kids\u2019 parents!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That may sound like a, \u201cDuh!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> No, but that\u2019s parenting out of instinct. One of the things I find is\u2014mothers and fathers no longer rely on their God-given instincts. They don\u2019t trust them anymore. So many times I see mothers, \u201cIs it okay if my 13-year-old watches an R-rated movie?\u201d I say, \u201cWell, what do you think?\u201d \u201cWell, I don\u2019t want him to!\u201d \u201cThen why are you asking me?\u201d\u2014because they don\u2019t trust their instincts to do what they know is right for their kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s <em>painful <\/em>to pull back. I think one of the big reasons that most mothers resist pulling back\u2014and pulling their kids out, and sort of roping everybody in and saying, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re eating a family meal together, at least, three nights a week,\u201d\u2014is that they\u2019re afraid that they\u2019re going to psychologically <em>harm<\/em> their children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Parents are <em>very afraid<\/em> that their child will feel like an oddball \/ they will be the oddball. Parents, again, motivated by great motive\u2014which is, \u201c\u2026to be a good parent and have healthy kids\u201d\u2014are so convinced that their kids need to <em>fit <\/em>and to not walk differently than other kids. It\u2019s a fear-based phenomenon. That\u2019s why I wrote a whole chapter on fear\u2014[Laughter]\u2014how <em>not <\/em>to parent out of fear!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wrote this book with a general audience in mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, you\u2019re writing to every mom. You engage around the whole issue of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But I could sense, as I read through this, that it was kind of like walking a tightrope for you because you embrace your faith, wholeheartedly; and yet, you know you\u2019re talking to some moms who don\u2019t have any faith aspect in their life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Absolutely. You know, Random House is my publisher. My call, I believe, is to mothers everywhere. Mothers everywhere want to hear about God and want to hear about faith. All of my writing is biblically-based. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you a secret\u2014the book is patterned after Richard Foster\u2019s <em>Celebration of Discipline<\/em>. If I <em>really<\/em> need to be centered, he talks about solitude and simplicity. That\u2019s exactly what I talk to mothers about\u2014getting back to those core disciplines, if you will, that <em>really <\/em>make our lives good, and right, and sound.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To that point, before we came in the studio, you made a comment, just kind of\u2014almost off the cuff. You said you\u2019re concerned about the moms today, who are raising the children of both today and tomorrow\u2014that they don\u2019t have a strong faith. They\u2019re going to encounter issues, values, things that demand core convictions; and their faith is not going to be ready to handle some of the stormy waters they\u2019re going to be traveling through. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Would you comment on that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Oh, sure. You know, one of my great concerns, too, is that I believe, as Christians, that we are to be <em>in<\/em> Scripture. We are to be <em>feeding<\/em> ourselves, and we are to be growing our faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur faith, from age 25-55, should not be stagnant. God desires that we grow that faith. What I\u2019m seeing, for a lot of mothers, is their time is being eaten up by doing a whole lot of things. Their time with God and attention to the growth of their faith is really suffering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that happens, they don\u2019t sink those roots deep so that\u2014when their kids are in their teens or in their 20s\u2014and they\u2019re really getting beaten up by life \/ that they will be knocked over. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it kind of comes down to peer pressure. It sounds kind of trite, actually, to talk about peer pressure; but that\u2019s really the truth. We are <em>driven<\/em>. We all jump on this train\u2014Christian moms, secular moms, any kind of mom\u2014because that\u2019s what the world is telling us to do. We feel that that\u2019s what we need to do, as moms. The problem is\u2014it doesn\u2019t give us time to grow our faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and I know\u2014because we\u2019re all sort of <em>seasoned<\/em> in age\u2014that if you don\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was so gentle. Thank you!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Well, you\u2019re really eye candy, too, Bob. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, when life starts to beat us up\u2014and it <em>will<\/em> and it <em>will<\/em> beat our children up\u2014if we don\u2019t have faith, we have <em>nothing<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, I just want to underscore this. I\u2019m not going to read the passage; but I don\u2019t know how many times, in the last six months, I\u2019ve been sharing this with young couples who are starting out their families together. It\u2019s how Jesus ended the Sermon on the Mount. It\u2019s talking about two different homebuilders. Both built their house in the midst of storms, floods, rain, and wind. One house fell and one didn\u2019t. The house that didn\u2019t fall was built upon the rock. It was the man \/ the woman, who heard the words of Christ and obeyed them\u2014that\u2019s what you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Faith isn\u2019t a passive matter. It\u2019s a point of obedience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But in order to be obedient, you have to <em>know<\/em> what the Bible teaches. Here\u2019s what I would say to young moms, who are starting out today. If you\u2019re not in this Book, you\u2019re going to be overtaken by the very <em>world<\/em> that you want to guide your child through as he or she grows up and into adolescence. I mean, you\u2019ve got to train your kids to have their own faith, with their core convictions, and what they\u2019re going to stand for, and what they\u2019re going to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to, and what they are going to say, \u201cYes,\u201d to. If you don\u2019t know where you stand, you\u2019re not going to be able to lead your kids!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve got a whole generation of folks who are spending a lot of time caring for the condition of their body\u2014going to the gym and making sure that they\u2019re in good physical shape, or eating the right stuff, or spending money on vitamins and nutrition \/ I\u2019m not saying any of this stuff is wrong\u2014or they are caring for the condition of their economic house and making sure that they\u2019re bank account is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if you ask them about the condition of their soul: \u201cHow\u2019s your soul doing?\u201d and \u201cWhat are you doing to care for your soul?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they\u2019ll kind of give you a blank stare\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m not sure what you mean by that or what you do.\u201d If you ignore that, there will come a time when the winds will blow, and the rain will beat against your house, and it will not stand because your soul hasn\u2019t been cared for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You bet. You bet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not a matter of <em>if<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a matter of <em>when<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If Barbara was here, she would tell you, because she <em>loved<\/em> being a mom, but one of the most important things she did was\u2014she reserved time for her soul. I don\u2019t know how she did it, many times, because she would be dragging by the end of the day. She found a way to get in the Book. The point is: \u201cFind a way to feed your soul!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso\u2014and this is something else you teach about in your book: \u201cFind a way to connect with other friends \/ other moms, who are in the battle,\u201d because the nature of being a mom is to be isolated\u2014you feel like you\u2019re alone in this battle of raising children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I wrote a whole chapter on friendship and how women need other women, for many, many reasons. The heart of our lives \/ the great joy in our lives comes from relationships\u2014the marital relationship, our relationship with the Lord, our relationship with our kids, and our relationship, as women, with other women friends\u2014it builds strong marriages. You know, if you have a couple of good, solid women friends, you expect less of your husband because he\u2019s not trying to meet all of your needs. It\u2019s so important in really healthy families. The problem is\u2014again, busy moms cut out time for nurturing their spiritual life and for friendships\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> \u2014because they\u2019re just trying to do whatever they can to make life great for their kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And to your point, it took me probably 20 years before it dawned on me that\u2014when my wife was getting away with her friends, and spending time relationally, and relaxing\u2014our home was better \/ our marriage was better. That investment of her time with other women in friendships paid dividends in every other aspect of her life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know that she realized that \/ I don\u2019t know that I realized that\u2014but when we did\u2014it was like, \u201cThis needs to happen for everybody\u2019s sake.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If I had to summarize what we\u2019ve talked about today: \u201cYou have to pay attention to your own soul\u2014don\u2019t neglect it. Number two, you also have to pay attention to your needs for a friendship outside of your marriage and your family, that is a godly friendship\u2014not just <em>anybody<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cIt has to be someone who\u2019s going to speak the truth into your life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can mirror what Bob said about wishing I\u2019d understood this more. Barbara really needed friends outside the home, and I didn\u2019t set that apart. If I\u2019m talking to a dad right now, and you\u2019re in the midst of raising your children\u2014I don\u2019t care if they\u2019re rug rats, or if they\u2019re teenagers, or a combo of all of the above\u2014find a way to make it possible for your wife to get out of the house, and for you to put the kids to bed, and clean the kitchen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have it all ready when she gets home from being out with some girlfriends. It really is a life-giving, sacrificial act for a husband to perform on behalf of his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And your point is that this is something that moms\u2014who are doing well \/ who are thriving\u2014this is one of their habits. It\u2019s one of the things they do that causes them to really do well in their assignment as moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMeg has written a book called <em>The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers<\/em>. I think this is a book that a lot of moms will benefit from\u2014getting a copy and just going through and saying: \u201cHow am I doing in each of these ten areas? Do I have the right balance in my life as I\u2019m seeking to be a good and godly mom?\u201d You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of <em>The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers. <\/em>Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call if you\u2019d like a copy of the book. Our toll-free number is 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think it goes without saying that, in addition to having time with a group of girlfriends outside the home, a mom, who is really thriving in her role, is also somebody who is well-connected with her husband. When their anniversary rolls around, they make it a priority. We\u2019re talking a lot about anniversaries this year because FamilyLife is celebrating its 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary in 2016. We\u2019re celebrating 40 years of ministry by focusing on all of the anniversaries that have been celebrated over the years because of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of a lot of couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would like to make sure that your anniversary this year is a great celebration. We\u2019ve got some ideas for you on that. If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, we will send you, right before your anniversary, either text messages or emails that give you some special ideas on how you can celebrate, in 2016, your anniversary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you do get in touch with us and let us know your anniversary date, would you consider making a donation to help support this ministry? We\u2019ve had some friends of ministry come to us in recent days\u2014knowing that it\u2019s our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, as a ministry, and knowing that the summer months can be challenging for ministries like ours\u2014they have agreed to match every donation we receive this month, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $350,000. It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> opportunity for us! To take advantage of it, we need to hear from you. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to make your donation at 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how moms, who are doing well, are moms who have recalibrated. They\u2019ve adjusted their expectations so that their expectations can actually meet reality. We\u2019ll talk more with Dr. Meg Meeker about that tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.86M"],"filesize_raw":["23967151"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303988.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303988.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Meg Meeker encourages mothers to \"jump off the train\" of perfectionism and to simplify their lives by setting up boundaries and trusting their instincts.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI wonder if my kids would be thriving more if they were doing\u2026\u201d It\u2019s really motivated by a desire to see your kids\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> It\u2019s motivated by all good things. <em>That\u2019s<\/em> why it\u2019s such a hard beast to slay, if you will, because our hearts say: \u201cI want to be a <em>great<\/em> mom. I want <em>great<\/em> opportunities for my kids. I want my kids to go to <em>great<\/em> schools. I don\u2019t want them to fall behind. I want them to feel good about themselves.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we make a list of what we need our kids to be and do in order to be great kids. Then we make a list of what <em>we <\/em>need to do and be to be great moms. The problem is our list is too long and our expectations are too high\u2014that\u2019s when the joy goes away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then you meet a mom who says, \u201cYou know, we just decided we were going to go with this new violin lesson thing.\u201d You think, \u201cWell, I wonder if I should add that to the list.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It just keeps swelling and becomes unbearable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We felt some of that when we were raising our kids. What we attempted to do was build some boundaries. We said: \u201cYou know what? Because we have six children, we\u2019re going to have one outside extracurricular activity per child per semester.\u201d Now, that\u2019s enough of a crazy-maker, to have six kids going in different directions\u2014with Little League, with volleyball, with dance lessons, whatever they would choose. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we would try to do is steer them in the same direction so our sons played on the same Little League team or, at least, at the same park at the same time to be able to keep some degree of sanity and your schedule under control. What I hear you saying is\u2014if a mom is going to navigate, really, the pace of life and the comparison that\u2019s taking place, she had better pull out of the battle,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014reflect and re-center herself, and know what God is expecting of her, as a woman, wife, and, most certainly, as a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. And that\u2019s where we\u2019ve <em>really<\/em> veered away from this\u2014even a lot of Christian moms, whose hearts are really trying to do what God wants them to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s that we don\u2019t want to miss opportunities for ourselves or for our kids. We are not trusting our instincts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sort of look at it this way, Dennis and Bob\u2014we\u2019ve got all these mothers, who\u2019ve jumped on a train that\u2019s going very, very fast in a direction. We don\u2019t know exactly where it\u2019s taking us, but it\u2019s picking up speed as it goes. We all want off, but we want the gal next to us to go first: \u201cOkay, I have my child in three extracurricular activities, and I want him in two. But why don\u2019t you go first, neighbor?\u201d You know? That\u2019s where the freedom really comes, and that\u2019s why I would encourage every mother, listening to us: \u201cBe the first. Jump off the train!\u201d because it\u2019s wonderful! There\u2019s an <em>enormous<\/em> benefit in it for our kids; but since we\u2019re talking about moms, that\u2019s what brings some calm and sanity into our lives. I really worry about mothers and their health because there isn\u2019t <em>calm<\/em> in the American home anymore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s no correlation that we\u2019ve been able to see between how many extracurricular activities your kids are in and whether they turn out being spiritually healthy or mentally healthy. We\u2019re really propping our ladder up against the wrong thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, and I just want to underscore what you said about the freedom that comes by making the hard choice. I want to brag on Barbara at this point\u2014she\u2019s not the perfect mother\u2014but we did the very thing you\u2019re talking about. Together, as a couple, we decided to break from the herd and not do what everybody else was doing. This was back in the early \u201880s, when homeschooling was pioneering stuff\u2014I mean, it was <em>radical<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe made the decision to pull our kids out of public school and homeschool for a period of time. I have to tell you, because of that decision, it gave us the sense of: \u201cYou know what? We don\u2019t have to do what everybody else is doing!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You kind of get in this herd mentality, where everybody\u2019s being funneled through this little crook in the funnel called education and \u201cEverybody has to do it the very same way.\u201d\u00a0 When we broke from what everyone else was doing, we thought: \u201cYou know what? We really are these kids\u2019 parents!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That may sound like a, \u201cDuh!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> No, but that\u2019s parenting out of instinct. One of the things I find is\u2014mothers and fathers no longer rely on their God-given instincts. They don\u2019t trust them anymore. So many times I see mothers, \u201cIs it okay if my 13-year-old watches an R-rated movie?\u201d I say, \u201cWell, what do you think?\u201d \u201cWell, I don\u2019t want him to!\u201d \u201cThen why are you asking me?\u201d\u2014because they don\u2019t trust their instincts to do what they know is right for their kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s <em>painful <\/em>to pull back. I think one of the big reasons that most mothers resist pulling back\u2014and pulling their kids out, and sort of roping everybody in and saying, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re eating a family meal together, at least, three nights a week,\u201d\u2014is that they\u2019re afraid that they\u2019re going to psychologically <em>harm<\/em> their children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Parents are <em>very afraid<\/em> that their child will feel like an oddball \/ they will be the oddball. Parents, again, motivated by great motive\u2014which is, \u201c\u2026to be a good parent and have healthy kids\u201d\u2014are so convinced that their kids need to <em>fit <\/em>and to not walk differently than other kids. It\u2019s a fear-based phenomenon. That\u2019s why I wrote a whole chapter on fear\u2014[Laughter]\u2014how <em>not <\/em>to parent out of fear!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wrote this book with a general audience in mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, you\u2019re writing to every mom. You engage around the whole issue of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But I could sense, as I read through this, that it was kind of like walking a tightrope for you because you embrace your faith, wholeheartedly; and yet, you know you\u2019re talking to some moms who don\u2019t have any faith aspect in their life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Absolutely. You know, Random House is my publisher. My call, I believe, is to mothers everywhere. Mothers everywhere want to hear about God and want to hear about faith. All of my writing is biblically-based. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you a secret\u2014the book is patterned after Richard Foster\u2019s <em>Celebration of Discipline<\/em>. If I <em>really<\/em> need to be centered, he talks about solitude and simplicity. That\u2019s exactly what I talk to mothers about\u2014getting back to those core disciplines, if you will, that <em>really <\/em>make our lives good, and right, and sound.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To that point, before we came in the studio, you made a comment, just kind of\u2014almost off the cuff. You said you\u2019re concerned about the moms today, who are raising the children of both today and tomorrow\u2014that they don\u2019t have a strong faith. They\u2019re going to encounter issues, values, things that demand core convictions; and their faith is not going to be ready to handle some of the stormy waters they\u2019re going to be traveling through. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Would you comment on that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Oh, sure. You know, one of my great concerns, too, is that I believe, as Christians, that we are to be <em>in<\/em> Scripture. We are to be <em>feeding<\/em> ourselves, and we are to be growing our faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur faith, from age 25-55, should not be stagnant. God desires that we grow that faith. What I\u2019m seeing, for a lot of mothers, is their time is being eaten up by doing a whole lot of things. Their time with God and attention to the growth of their faith is really suffering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that happens, they don\u2019t sink those roots deep so that\u2014when their kids are in their teens or in their 20s\u2014and they\u2019re really getting beaten up by life \/ that they will be knocked over. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it kind of comes down to peer pressure. It sounds kind of trite, actually, to talk about peer pressure; but that\u2019s really the truth. We are <em>driven<\/em>. We all jump on this train\u2014Christian moms, secular moms, any kind of mom\u2014because that\u2019s what the world is telling us to do. We feel that that\u2019s what we need to do, as moms. The problem is\u2014it doesn\u2019t give us time to grow our faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and I know\u2014because we\u2019re all sort of <em>seasoned<\/em> in age\u2014that if you don\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was so gentle. Thank you!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Well, you\u2019re really eye candy, too, Bob. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, when life starts to beat us up\u2014and it <em>will<\/em> and it <em>will<\/em> beat our children up\u2014if we don\u2019t have faith, we have <em>nothing<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, I just want to underscore this. I\u2019m not going to read the passage; but I don\u2019t know how many times, in the last six months, I\u2019ve been sharing this with young couples who are starting out their families together. It\u2019s how Jesus ended the Sermon on the Mount. It\u2019s talking about two different homebuilders. Both built their house in the midst of storms, floods, rain, and wind. One house fell and one didn\u2019t. The house that didn\u2019t fall was built upon the rock. It was the man \/ the woman, who heard the words of Christ and obeyed them\u2014that\u2019s what you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Faith isn\u2019t a passive matter. It\u2019s a point of obedience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But in order to be obedient, you have to <em>know<\/em> what the Bible teaches. Here\u2019s what I would say to young moms, who are starting out today. If you\u2019re not in this Book, you\u2019re going to be overtaken by the very <em>world<\/em> that you want to guide your child through as he or she grows up and into adolescence. I mean, you\u2019ve got to train your kids to have their own faith, with their core convictions, and what they\u2019re going to stand for, and what they\u2019re going to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to, and what they are going to say, \u201cYes,\u201d to. If you don\u2019t know where you stand, you\u2019re not going to be able to lead your kids!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve got a whole generation of folks who are spending a lot of time caring for the condition of their body\u2014going to the gym and making sure that they\u2019re in good physical shape, or eating the right stuff, or spending money on vitamins and nutrition \/ I\u2019m not saying any of this stuff is wrong\u2014or they are caring for the condition of their economic house and making sure that they\u2019re bank account is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if you ask them about the condition of their soul: \u201cHow\u2019s your soul doing?\u201d and \u201cWhat are you doing to care for your soul?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they\u2019ll kind of give you a blank stare\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m not sure what you mean by that or what you do.\u201d If you ignore that, there will come a time when the winds will blow, and the rain will beat against your house, and it will not stand because your soul hasn\u2019t been cared for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> You bet. You bet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not a matter of <em>if<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a matter of <em>when<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If Barbara was here, she would tell you, because she <em>loved<\/em> being a mom, but one of the most important things she did was\u2014she reserved time for her soul. I don\u2019t know how she did it, many times, because she would be dragging by the end of the day. She found a way to get in the Book. The point is: \u201cFind a way to feed your soul!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso\u2014and this is something else you teach about in your book: \u201cFind a way to connect with other friends \/ other moms, who are in the battle,\u201d because the nature of being a mom is to be isolated\u2014you feel like you\u2019re alone in this battle of raising children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right; absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I wrote a whole chapter on friendship and how women need other women, for many, many reasons. The heart of our lives \/ the great joy in our lives comes from relationships\u2014the marital relationship, our relationship with the Lord, our relationship with our kids, and our relationship, as women, with other women friends\u2014it builds strong marriages. You know, if you have a couple of good, solid women friends, you expect less of your husband because he\u2019s not trying to meet all of your needs. It\u2019s so important in really healthy families. The problem is\u2014again, busy moms cut out time for nurturing their spiritual life and for friendships\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> \u2014because they\u2019re just trying to do whatever they can to make life great for their kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And to your point, it took me probably 20 years before it dawned on me that\u2014when my wife was getting away with her friends, and spending time relationally, and relaxing\u2014our home was better \/ our marriage was better. That investment of her time with other women in friendships paid dividends in every other aspect of her life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know that she realized that \/ I don\u2019t know that I realized that\u2014but when we did\u2014it was like, \u201cThis needs to happen for everybody\u2019s sake.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If I had to summarize what we\u2019ve talked about today: \u201cYou have to pay attention to your own soul\u2014don\u2019t neglect it. Number two, you also have to pay attention to your needs for a friendship outside of your marriage and your family, that is a godly friendship\u2014not just <em>anybody<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cIt has to be someone who\u2019s going to speak the truth into your life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can mirror what Bob said about wishing I\u2019d understood this more. Barbara really needed friends outside the home, and I didn\u2019t set that apart. If I\u2019m talking to a dad right now, and you\u2019re in the midst of raising your children\u2014I don\u2019t care if they\u2019re rug rats, or if they\u2019re teenagers, or a combo of all of the above\u2014find a way to make it possible for your wife to get out of the house, and for you to put the kids to bed, and clean the kitchen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Have it all ready when she gets home from being out with some girlfriends. It really is a life-giving, sacrificial act for a husband to perform on behalf of his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And your point is that this is something that moms\u2014who are doing well \/ who are thriving\u2014this is one of their habits. It\u2019s one of the things they do that causes them to really do well in their assignment as moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMeg has written a book called <em>The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers<\/em>. I think this is a book that a lot of moms will benefit from\u2014getting a copy and just going through and saying: \u201cHow am I doing in each of these ten areas? Do I have the right balance in my life as I\u2019m seeking to be a good and godly mom?\u201d You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of <em>The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers. <\/em>Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call if you\u2019d like a copy of the book. Our toll-free number is 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think it goes without saying that, in addition to having time with a group of girlfriends outside the home, a mom, who is really thriving in her role, is also somebody who is well-connected with her husband. When their anniversary rolls around, they make it a priority. We\u2019re talking a lot about anniversaries this year because FamilyLife is celebrating its 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary in 2016. We\u2019re celebrating 40 years of ministry by focusing on all of the anniversaries that have been celebrated over the years because of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of a lot of couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would like to make sure that your anniversary this year is a great celebration. We\u2019ve got some ideas for you on that. If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, we will send you, right before your anniversary, either text messages or emails that give you some special ideas on how you can celebrate, in 2016, your anniversary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you do get in touch with us and let us know your anniversary date, would you consider making a donation to help support this ministry? We\u2019ve had some friends of ministry come to us in recent days\u2014knowing that it\u2019s our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, as a ministry, and knowing that the summer months can be challenging for ministries like ours\u2014they have agreed to match every donation we receive this month, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $350,000. It\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> opportunity for us! To take advantage of it, we need to hear from you. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to make your donation at 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how moms, who are doing well, are moms who have recalibrated. They\u2019ve adjusted their expectations so that their expectations can actually meet reality. We\u2019ll talk more with Dr. Meg Meeker about that tomorrow. Hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. 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