{"id":303980,"date":"2016-05-03T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-05-03T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/good-moms-do-it-all-and-other-motherly-myths\/"},"modified":"2016-05-03T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-05-03T15:00:00","slug":"good-moms-do-it-all-and-other-motherly-myths","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/good-moms-do-it-all-and-other-motherly-myths\/","title":{"rendered":"Good Moms Do It All and Other Motherly Myths"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Karen Ehman | Series: Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe | Are the pressures of motherhood wearing you out? Author Karen Ehman shoots straight about the myths of motherhood, including the lie that good moms do it all. She encourages women to be realistic about how much time they have and to focus on the things that really matter. Karen tells listeners how she and her husband found balance juggling the activities of their three kids, and reminds women to step out of the chaos, while welcoming simplicity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Karen Ehman encourages women to be realistic about how much time they have and to focus on the things that really matter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-03.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.28M","filesize_raw":"25459373","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[5048,4087],"podcast_series":[8140],"cwp_profile":[3311],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303980","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-motherhood","tag-mothers","podcast_series-hoodwinked-ten-myths-moms-believe","cwp_profile-karen-ehman","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303980\/good-moms-do-it-all-and-other-motherly-myths","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303980\/good-moms-do-it-all-and-other-motherly-myths","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"hT4k0pJ07D\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/good-moms-do-it-all-and-other-motherly-myths\/\">Good Moms Do It All and Other Motherly Myths<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/good-moms-do-it-all-and-other-motherly-myths\/embed\/#?secret=hT4k0pJ07D\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Good Moms Do It All and Other Motherly Myths&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"hT4k0pJ07D\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you are raising your kids with all of their activities, things ever feel like they\u2019ve gotten out of control?\u00a0 Karen Ehman says, \u201cGuess who\u2019s responsible for that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>We let it get to be a rat race rather than teaching our kids to just, maybe, be involved in one or two activities and not sign up for every single thing at church and at school. I feel like, sometimes, we\u2019re raising a generation of kids that just\u2014it\u2019s all about them: \u201cWhat activity can I be in?\u201d\u00a0 And we don\u2019t build in time for service as a family: \u201cGo rake the lawn for the neighbors instead of going and being in another sport.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you cancel some of the activities your kid is involved with, trust me, they\u2019ll be okay. We\u2019ll talk today about how you can dial back some of the pressure you feel as a mom. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you think your wife Barbara, when you were raising your kids\u2014did she feel the pressure that moms feel today to do it right \/\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to do it perfectly?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes. I mean, I watched it happen. There was comparison back then on all kinds of fronts between how you\u2019re disciplining your child, how you\u2019re feeding your child, what they wear, what they look like, and then, where they go to school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cAre they taking tap dancing?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAre they taking gymnastics?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes\u2014athletic development\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014mental development. I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Music lessons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014everybody knew if you read 15 to 30 minutes a day to your child, he or she will become Einstein\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I mean, it\u2019s automatic \/ it\u2019s absolutely automatic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we\u2019ve got a guest here on the broadcast that\u2014well, she\u2019s unmasked ten myths about motherhood. The book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>These are really near-truths. They are not untruths \/ they are near-truths. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There really are some points of truth in\u2014not all of them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because I think some of them are dead-wrong\u2014that\u2019s just all there is to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But the name of the book is <em>Hoodwinked<\/em>. It\u2019s by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk. They\u2019ve outlined these ten myths, and we talked about a few of them earlier. I think this one is really all false: \u201cA good mother can do it all, all at once,\u201d and I would add \u201call the time.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 No mom does it all, but it seems like all mothers feel the pressure to do it all. Don\u2019t you think, Karen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>We do. We feel that pressure, not only externally, but we put it on ourselves too. We think we need to be the one that\u2019s teaching our children, and clothing our children, and disciplining our children, and running them here and there, and just doing all of it. And we\u2014like you say\u2014do it all, all at once. All that makes us is\u2014not a supermom\u2014it just makes for a worn-out woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and here is part of the challenge with that\u2014because you\u2019ll walk into one mom\u2019s house, and it\u2019s pristine\u2014it\u2019s beautiful, it\u2019s clean, everything\u2019s in order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe house looks like the photographer came yesterday to take the pictures for <em>Better Homes and Gardens <\/em>magazine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s not <em>Better<\/em> <em>Homes<\/em> though, today, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What is it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s Pinterest<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Pinterest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you look at that, and you think, \u201cGee, I wish my house would look like that.\u201d\u00a0 Then, the next place you go\u2014you are with a mom, and her child just plays their recital piece perfectly on the piano. You think, \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve got to get my kid to do that.\u201d\u00a0 Then, the next place you go, you\u2019ve got a child who scores two goals in the soccer game to win. You come home at the end of the day, thinking, \u201cBeautiful house, music lessons, soccer star\u2014we must accomplish all of it.\u201d\u00a0 Well, it took three women to make that happen. The one with the beautiful house\u2014her kid hasn\u2019t touched a piano in months; you know?\u00a0 So, it\u2019s really a collective expectation that no mom can accomplish on her own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes, we take the best of what we see in each mom\u2014the <em>best<\/em> of them: \u201cThey are really great at cooking,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re a fabulous house-keeper,\u201d or \u201cBoy, are their kids smart!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cShe teaches them Latin when they are in second grade,\u201d or whatever. We take the <em>best<\/em> of all these moms\u2014their strengths\u2014and we somehow stack them all in a row and say that we need to do all of those, and we need to do them all right now or our kids aren\u2019t going to turn out right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we\u2019re comparing from a distance. You\u2019re not up-close and personal. You really don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on behind the curtain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>No; exactly. In fact, one of my mentors used to tell me: \u201cStop comparing your insides with somebody else\u2019s outside. You\u2019re just seeing their best foot forward behavior\u2014the good parts of their lives, what they would put on Pinterest or Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. You don\u2019t know what goes on in their home. You don\u2019t know the things that they struggle with and the things that they aren\u2019t good at.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The pressure is relentless. You tell a story\u2014I assume it\u2019s you \/ you coauthored the book. Was it you that got the phone call that caused you to go to the bedroom, crying, and your husband thought somebody had died?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes!\u00a0 The phone rang one afternoon. It was back when my husband worked afternoons and all our children were small. The oldest ones were being homeschooled. We were all at home on this afternoon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was kind of cleaning up the lunch dishes\u2014that\u2019s when we had our big family meal since my husband worked nights. The phone rang, and I took the call in the other room and came back crying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband said: \u201cWhat in the world?!\u00a0 Did somebody get in an accident?\u00a0 Did somebody die?\u201d\u00a0 I said [mimic crying], \u201cNo, Senator Garcia\u2014his office called and asked if I\u2019d make two dozen cookies for the election results party; and I said, \u2018Yes.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I just bawled; and he thought, \u201cWhat in the world?!\u201d\u00a0 But the reality was I had let my plate get so full of outside commitments that just making cookies tipped me over the edge because I had no time left because I was trying to do <em>everything<\/em> all at once. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what can a husband do to help with this myth?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Bake the cookies. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>There you go!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Don\u2019t just eat them!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Lighten her load a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Don\u2019t just sample the dough\u2014[Laughter]\u2014get in there and help her make the cookies, wash the dishes, put the kids to bed so she can do that. I am serious about this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and you suggest in the book that, in addition to dad helping out, there are some things a mom needs to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cInstead of trying to be supermom, just be a super mom.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Karen: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And there is a difference between being supermom and being a super mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Exactly. Whatever that looks like for you\u2014what your strengths are\u2014capitalize on them. The things that are your weakness\u2014farm it out. I should have said, \u201cI would love to donate. I\u2019ll have the bakery send over some cookies,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>\u2014or something. But we have to be realistic about how much time we have and what we can handle in our life because I think we don\u2019t think about this one word\u2014limitations. A mom has limitations, and there is a breaking point. We just continue to pile more and more things on our plate\u2014be a \u201cyes\u201d person to everybody that asks us. We say, \u201cYes,\u201d because we want to be liked. Especially, I find women who stay at home\u2014often, they are looked at like they have all the time in the world. So, they get asked to do a lot more things sometimes. I know I fell into that trap when I was an at-home mom before I worked outside the home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We say, \u201cYes,\u201d to all these things because we want to be liked. We think we\u2019re capable; but we need to really ask, \u201cAm I called to do this?\u201d\u2014not just, \u201cAm I capable?\u201d because we have the curse of capability. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re capable of doing lots of things and doing lots at the same time; but there is a breaking point where we need to just stop and say, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You compare motherhood\u2014in fact, this is one of your myths\u2014to a mom being a NASCAR race driver \/ that she\u2019s engaging in the rat race. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes; and that\u2019s another one of those almost-truths. Motherhood can often look like a rat race, but it doesn\u2019t have to be. We need to learn to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to things; and we need to learn to not let our kids be involved in everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell you\u2014it used to be in our culture that success was determined by what kind of car you drove or what neighborhood you lived in. Now, I really feel that family\u2019s often measure success by how busy we are. Just think about standing on the sidelines of a soccer game or football game; and you say, \u201cOh, how\u2019s it going?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh, good, good. We\u2019re busy, busy. Oh my goodness\u2014Janie\u2019s in dance lessons, and Sammy\u2019s in soccer. Then, they both do this, that, and the other thing outside the home. We just never eat dinner together anymore. We\u2019re just busy running from one thing to the other.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe let it get to be a rat race rather than teaching our kids to just, maybe, be involved in one or two activities and not sign up for every single thing at church and at school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is really a call to reevaluate, and reprioritize, and learn how to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to some things that are good but not best. You\u2019re going to have to look at: \u201cWhat\u2019s the prime goal? What is it that you really have to win at?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And Bob, this is where I just want to call the dads: \u201cStep up. Lead your family\u2014love your wife \/ protect your wife. Sometimes, you have to protect your wife from herself.\u201d\u00a0 She will schedule the kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You speak as one who had experience in this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, Barbara was very competitive. She liked to see the kids compete, and we pretty much agreed the kids would\u2014with six children, we would have one sport per child because, if you\u2019re not careful, you\u2019re only going to be a couple of ships passing in the night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014running kids all over town to gymnastics, soccer, basketball, football, baseball\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whatever the season may be\u2014and really may not have much of a family at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a date night, and I would have to say\u2014this was our sanity in raising six children. We got together on a Sunday night, and we would pull our schedules out\u2014we would look at where we had been, we would decide how far we could go and how fast we can run this race. We were constantly tossing things overboard, getting rid of commitments, and evaluating what we had committed to do. We could not do it <em>all<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s back to the previous myth\u2014<em>nobody<\/em> does it all, and you are comparing from a distance. You just think the other families do it all. There is a <em>bunch<\/em> they are not doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>And I know, for us, one thing we did with our kids was\u2014we said they could have one major and one minor each year. So, they had one major thing they wanted to do\u2014one sport they wanted to be in or extracurricular activity. Then, they could pick one other one; but after that, they were done. If they wanted to be in a third sport or a third activity, they had to cough up the money and pay for it themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she had two activities. She was in drama, and she was in volleyball; but one year, she also wanted to play soccer. Why?\u2014because all of her friends were playing soccer. She hates to run\u2014she didn\u2019t want to be in that sport, but she didn\u2019t want to miss out on the fun. She\u2019s very social. So, we told her she could be in it if she coughed up the money and arranged rides because we were at our limit for the shuttle service at our house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter about three practices, she came home and she said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I really don\u2019t like soccer. I think I\u2019m just going to go to the games and cheer my friends on instead.\u201d\u00a0 I think us making her invest that money really made her make that decision on her own because, so often, we just get out the checkbook and we keep writing checks, and allowing them to be in unlimited amounts of activities, and they just keep signing up for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other danger that I see in it, too, is\u2014I feel like sometimes we are raising a generation of kids that just\u2014it\u2019s all about them: \u201cWhat activity can I be in?\u201d\u00a0 We don\u2019t build in time for service as a family: \u201cGo rake the lawn for the neighbors instead of going and being in another sport.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what I wanted to speak to. Maybe, some parents, who are independently wealthy, and they have all the money they can cough up for all these sports and everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019re still the parent. You\u2019ve got to help them get through childhood and, frankly, allow for some time of innocence\u2014allow them to play in the front yard \/ go exploring outside. They don\u2019t always have to be in organized competitive sports, or academics, or whatever it may be. You be the parent\u2014set the direction and remember your kids are looking to you to protect them from what they don\u2019t know about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>So often kids today don\u2019t know how to interact with a whole group of kids unless there is a coach with a whistle or a teacher telling them what to do. We need to let them just go play kickball in the neighborhood like we used to when we were growing up\u2014just that downtime of interacting and being kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking to Karen Ehman today. She is coauthor of a book called <em>Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why They Need to Knock It Off<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you\u2019ve said about these myths, there may be a kernel of truth in some of these myths. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the myths you deal with is the fact that how your kids turn out all depends on you. There is a kernel of truth in how our kids turn out is related to how we do, as moms and dads; but they are still their own people; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Well, actually, a couple of the myths that we wrote about touch on that. One is that: \u201cEverything depends on me.\u201d\u00a0 We think that we are the end all, do all, be all to our kids. We have to provide for their every need, be their only source of encouragement, their only source of teaching them anything. It just makes us be plum worn-out when we think it all depends on us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know one thing that was suggested that I do\u2014that I did\u2014that I\u2019m <em>so<\/em> glad I did\u2014was I prayed for all three of my children that, by the time they were 12 years old, they would have a mentor in their life\u2014someone who had the same morals and values that my husband and I have\u2014that were strong Christians \/ that would point them to Scripture, but that were not us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI saw this, especially, in my oldest child \/ my daughter when she was a teenager. She would have something that was tumultuous \/ a little bit of drama in her life and needed to talk to somebody. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe always didn\u2019t come to me\u2014sometimes, she went to Ms. Ellen. And you know what?\u00a0 I learned to be okay with that. I don\u2019t have to be her everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>I want my kids to get used to going to others for godly counsel and not think that I have to solve all their problems and just be <em>everything<\/em> to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And in fact, having Ms. Ellen\u2019s and others around is a <em>great<\/em> asset for parents because, sometimes, your kids will hear the person outside of the home saying something and they will listen with different ears than when they hear Mom saying it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Karen: <\/strong>That exactly happened to us. Sometimes, she would come home from Ms. Ellen\u2019s house and say: \u201cMom, I talked to Ms. Ellen. She really thinks that I should do \u2018x\u2019, \u2018y\u2019, \u2018z,\u2019\u201d\u2014or whatever. I\u2019m thinking: \u201cAre you kidding me?\u00a0 I told you that six months ago!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>But she didn\u2019t hear it from me. She needed to figure it out on her own. She\u2019d hear somebody else say it before she owned it and did it herself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And sometimes, single men and women\u2014who are in college or, maybe, out of college and starting their own lives\u2014can be a good surrogate aunt or uncle for our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we have to do is make our home available for them to come over and have dinner. That happened a lot with us as we raised ours. I had guys\u2014who worked with me, here at FamilyLife\u2014and they\u2019d be over at the house helping me prepare for something we were going to host for the ministry. My kids feel like some of those guys were big brothers \/ they were part of the family. It\u2019s all in how you are hospitable and encourage these folks to come to your place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and that\u2019s healthy. It\u2019s healthy for your kids to see that diversity and to see that there are other grownups who think like Mom and Dad. It\u2019s not just crazy Mom and crazy Dad thinking that way but to know that there is a broader community out there who feel that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the truth is, Karen\u2014at the end of the day, we mark our kids indelibly, as moms and as dads. When we look back from our vantage point\u2014look at our parents\u2014we know that, maybe, we mark our kids by being absent \/ maybe, we mark our kids by being unloving with harshness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere can be negative marks that are left on a child by the things we do or the things we don\u2019t do. In the same way, we have the privilege of helping to mold and shape the thinking and the character of a child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not insignificant, but we also have to remember\u2014and I know this because we raised five kids and they turned out different and they made different choices. One child grows up this way\u2014obedient and following the rules. Another child grows up, pushing against those rules. I\u2019m going, \u201cIt\u2019s the same parents, but it\u2019s different kids\u201d; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes, and we need to learn to not tether our child\u2019s choices to our identity because we do that so often. They make a good choice: \u201cYay!\u00a0 I\u2019m a great mom!\u201d\u00a0 They do something wrong, \u201cOh, I stink as a mother.\u201d\u00a0 We get our emotions all tied up into it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to model for them making good choices. We need to let our kids see us going to God to help us make our choices, but we need to realize the results are in their hands. Whatever good comes of them is not necessarily because of me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s in spite of me\u2014and it\u2019s because of God\u2019s grace in their life. Of course, I want to try to impact them for good and show them the way that leads to a life that honors God; but I can\u2019t get so tied up into it that, if my child decides that that\u2019s not the way for them, that I feel like it\u2019s my fault. I need to be obedient and leave the results up to God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You do. And I just want to go back to something we\u2019ve touched on here. I really agree with you that parents shouldn\u2019t think it all depends upon them. But there are certain things that do depend upon the parent. You need to take responsibility to teach your child about God, to teach them how to handle the traps they\u2019re going to face as they go through pre-adolescence and adolescence. You need to help them understand sexuality\u2014who they are, how they\u2019re made, how God made them. You can\u2019t delegate those things out formally. You\u2019ve got to assume responsibility and pray that God adds the building blocks to your son or daughter\u2019s life as they grow up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, this goes back to what we were saying. There are so many things you can do as a parent, but there are a handful of things you must do. It\u2019s separating the can-do from the must-do that is the prioritization that a mom has to regularly go through because we can get\u2014moms and dads\u2014we can get seduced by the can-do and leave the must-do in the dust just because we didn\u2019t stop and think about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>One thing I have learned to ask myself is, \u201cWhat can only I do?\u201d\u00a0 Yes, there are some things that someone else can do for my kids; but only I can be the one to do some of the things that Dennis just mentioned. Ask yourself, \u201cWhat can only I do?\u201d and focus on those things. Leave the rest\u2014you know, if they don\u2019t get done, that\u2019s fine \/ or if you have to farm it out\u2014get the cookies from the bakery because your child needs you to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>\u2014talk through something important in their life with them that day. It\u2019s okay. We can\u2019t do it all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your identity doesn\u2019t need to rest on whether your cookies were made from a 100-year-old cookie recipe that goes back four generations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That has flour that was milled from grains from the Middle East that are full of nutrients that you don\u2019t get anywhere else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; exactly. But I\u2019ll tell you what does matter\u2014is where your kids get their marching orders about how they are going to view dating, and the opposite sex, and how they\u2019re going to go about establishing a relationship. And it\u2019s why, Bob\u2014we created <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> \/ <em>Passport2Identity\u2122<\/em>\u2014a couple of tools that parents use to equip their kids to handle these issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I know you are talking about here, Karen\u2014you\u2019re talking about parents assuming too much responsibility. I just want to go back to what we talked about here about those things that are your responsibility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s in that list of the must-do\u2019s\u2014the things that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014we\u2019ve got to make sure we cover, as parents. You know, we had a dad who came to us, years ago, after taking one of his kids through <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 If you gave me about four or five things like this to do with my children, as they are growing up, I\u2019d be so far ahead of most parents.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, after we\u2019d done <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>, we said, \u201cLet\u2019s design another experience like this for parents and 14-\/15-year-old kids, who are struggling with: \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWhat am I good at?\u201d \u201cWhat should I be doing with my life?\u201d \u201cHow do I fit in with others?\u201d\u00a0 So, we said, \u201cLet\u2019s create a couple-of-days getaway, where a mom can take a daughter \/ dad can take a son, and you go off for a couple of days and you talk about \u201cWhat\u2019s your identity?\u201d \u201cWho did God make you to be?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur listeners ought to find out more about <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> when they go to FamilyLifeToday.com because we\u2019ve got information about it there. I would also encourage you: \u201cGet a copy of the book, <em>Hoodwinked<\/em>, that Karen Ehman has written, along with Ruth Schwenk.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s <em>Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need to Knock It Off<\/em>. Hopefully, it\u2019ll help some moms\u2014just read the book and go: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay; alright. Take a deep breath,\u201d\u2014because that\u2019s what you were going for; right? At the end of this book, you want moms to just kind of go [inhale], \u201cOkay, I can do this; and it\u2019s going to be okay.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Give themselves some space, and give themselves some grace, and just keep showing up, and being the best mom that you can be for your unique children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. Again, by phone, the number is 1-800-358-6329; or you can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there is one other myth that you talk about in your book that a lot of women have told you they buy into this myth, and it\u2019s one you\u2019ve wrestled with too; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes, and that is the myth that my child\u2019s bad choice means I\u2019m a bad mom. And that means\u2014whether they are two years old and they are pushing down a kid in the ball section at the fast-food place, where they are supposed to be playing happily, and now they are the ball room bully\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or maybe, they\u2019re in middle school or high school; and you get a call from the principal that they are sitting in the office, busted for a prank they thought was completely\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Been there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>\u2014hilarious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Know what you are talking about; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>I don\u2019t have any experience with that anyhow. [Sarcastic grunt]\u00a0 Or maybe, they are an adult child that has made a really crucial choice that\u2019s made a big difference in the trajectory of their life. Now, you\u2019re beating yourself up, thinking, \u201cIt must be something I did.\u201d\u00a0 We tether our child\u2019s choices to the core of our identity\u2014then, we decide that we\u2019re a bad parent\u2014or if they make good choices, we think: \u201cWow! We really rock as a parent!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to know that we need to model good choices for them, pray that they will make good choices, teach them how to do it\u2014how to go through Scripture \/ how to get godly counsel\u2014but know that they are their own. We are all going to stand before God someday. We\u2019re not going to answer for what our kids did or what our parents did. We\u2019re going to answer for what we did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Being a successful mom is committing your children to God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014studying the Bible, praying, asking God for wisdom, doing the best job you can in the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within you, and then, leave the results to God. You cannot guarantee the results of how your child is going to turn out. As one person said, if you want a guarantee, go buy a car battery because you\u2019re not going to get a guarantee with a kid. They have their own will \/ their own way\u2014it\u2019s part of the mystery\u2014but also part of the challenge of raising the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it\u2019s one of the reasons why we\u2019ve got to routinely adjust our thinking, as parents, and remember what the Bible teaches about the assignment God has given us, and what\u2019s true, and keep doing what we\u2019ve been called to do and trust God that He is in control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I would encourage our listeners to get a copy of Karen\u2019s book, <em>Hoodwinked<\/em>. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Karen\u2014thanks, again, for being with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d before we\u2019re all done here today to our friends, Wayne and Crystal May. The Mays live in North Carolina. Today is their one-year wedding anniversary. So, they\u2019ve gotten through the first lap in this relay race that we call marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>At FamilyLife, we\u2019re all about celebrating anniversaries. This is our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, as a ministry; but we really want our focus to be on all of the anniversaries that have been celebrated over the last 40 years as a result of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of so many people. And we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who partner with us to make this ministry possible. We appreciate your support as we seek to bring practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family every day on this program, on our website, through our events and our resources. We\u2019re grateful for you joining with us in that effort. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014make your donation over the phone; or mail your donation to us. Our mailing address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about how you can teach your kids to know God in more than a superficial way. Bruce Ware is going to join us to talk about how we teach big truths to young hearts. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.28M"],"filesize_raw":["25459373"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303980.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303980.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Ehman encourages women to be realistic about how much time they have and to focus on the things that really matter.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-05-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you are raising your kids with all of their activities, things ever feel like they\u2019ve gotten out of control?\u00a0 Karen Ehman says, \u201cGuess who\u2019s responsible for that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>We let it get to be a rat race rather than teaching our kids to just, maybe, be involved in one or two activities and not sign up for every single thing at church and at school. I feel like, sometimes, we\u2019re raising a generation of kids that just\u2014it\u2019s all about them: \u201cWhat activity can I be in?\u201d\u00a0 And we don\u2019t build in time for service as a family: \u201cGo rake the lawn for the neighbors instead of going and being in another sport.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you cancel some of the activities your kid is involved with, trust me, they\u2019ll be okay. We\u2019ll talk today about how you can dial back some of the pressure you feel as a mom. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you think your wife Barbara, when you were raising your kids\u2014did she feel the pressure that moms feel today to do it right \/\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to do it perfectly?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes. I mean, I watched it happen. There was comparison back then on all kinds of fronts between how you\u2019re disciplining your child, how you\u2019re feeding your child, what they wear, what they look like, and then, where they go to school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cAre they taking tap dancing?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAre they taking gymnastics?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh yes\u2014athletic development\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014mental development. I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Music lessons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014everybody knew if you read 15 to 30 minutes a day to your child, he or she will become Einstein\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I mean, it\u2019s automatic \/ it\u2019s absolutely automatic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we\u2019ve got a guest here on the broadcast that\u2014well, she\u2019s unmasked ten myths about motherhood. The book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>These are really near-truths. They are not untruths \/ they are near-truths. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There really are some points of truth in\u2014not all of them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because I think some of them are dead-wrong\u2014that\u2019s just all there is to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But the name of the book is <em>Hoodwinked<\/em>. It\u2019s by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk. They\u2019ve outlined these ten myths, and we talked about a few of them earlier. I think this one is really all false: \u201cA good mother can do it all, all at once,\u201d and I would add \u201call the time.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 No mom does it all, but it seems like all mothers feel the pressure to do it all. Don\u2019t you think, Karen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>We do. We feel that pressure, not only externally, but we put it on ourselves too. We think we need to be the one that\u2019s teaching our children, and clothing our children, and disciplining our children, and running them here and there, and just doing all of it. And we\u2014like you say\u2014do it all, all at once. All that makes us is\u2014not a supermom\u2014it just makes for a worn-out woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and here is part of the challenge with that\u2014because you\u2019ll walk into one mom\u2019s house, and it\u2019s pristine\u2014it\u2019s beautiful, it\u2019s clean, everything\u2019s in order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe house looks like the photographer came yesterday to take the pictures for <em>Better Homes and Gardens <\/em>magazine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s not <em>Better<\/em> <em>Homes<\/em> though, today, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What is it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s Pinterest<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Pinterest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you look at that, and you think, \u201cGee, I wish my house would look like that.\u201d\u00a0 Then, the next place you go\u2014you are with a mom, and her child just plays their recital piece perfectly on the piano. You think, \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve got to get my kid to do that.\u201d\u00a0 Then, the next place you go, you\u2019ve got a child who scores two goals in the soccer game to win. You come home at the end of the day, thinking, \u201cBeautiful house, music lessons, soccer star\u2014we must accomplish all of it.\u201d\u00a0 Well, it took three women to make that happen. The one with the beautiful house\u2014her kid hasn\u2019t touched a piano in months; you know?\u00a0 So, it\u2019s really a collective expectation that no mom can accomplish on her own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes, we take the best of what we see in each mom\u2014the <em>best<\/em> of them: \u201cThey are really great at cooking,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re a fabulous house-keeper,\u201d or \u201cBoy, are their kids smart!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cShe teaches them Latin when they are in second grade,\u201d or whatever. We take the <em>best<\/em> of all these moms\u2014their strengths\u2014and we somehow stack them all in a row and say that we need to do all of those, and we need to do them all right now or our kids aren\u2019t going to turn out right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And we\u2019re comparing from a distance. You\u2019re not up-close and personal. You really don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on behind the curtain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>No; exactly. In fact, one of my mentors used to tell me: \u201cStop comparing your insides with somebody else\u2019s outside. You\u2019re just seeing their best foot forward behavior\u2014the good parts of their lives, what they would put on Pinterest or Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. You don\u2019t know what goes on in their home. You don\u2019t know the things that they struggle with and the things that they aren\u2019t good at.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The pressure is relentless. You tell a story\u2014I assume it\u2019s you \/ you coauthored the book. Was it you that got the phone call that caused you to go to the bedroom, crying, and your husband thought somebody had died?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes!\u00a0 The phone rang one afternoon. It was back when my husband worked afternoons and all our children were small. The oldest ones were being homeschooled. We were all at home on this afternoon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was kind of cleaning up the lunch dishes\u2014that\u2019s when we had our big family meal since my husband worked nights. The phone rang, and I took the call in the other room and came back crying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband said: \u201cWhat in the world?!\u00a0 Did somebody get in an accident?\u00a0 Did somebody die?\u201d\u00a0 I said [mimic crying], \u201cNo, Senator Garcia\u2014his office called and asked if I\u2019d make two dozen cookies for the election results party; and I said, \u2018Yes.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I just bawled; and he thought, \u201cWhat in the world?!\u201d\u00a0 But the reality was I had let my plate get so full of outside commitments that just making cookies tipped me over the edge because I had no time left because I was trying to do <em>everything<\/em> all at once. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what can a husband do to help with this myth?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Bake the cookies. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>There you go!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Don\u2019t just eat them!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Lighten her load a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Don\u2019t just sample the dough\u2014[Laughter]\u2014get in there and help her make the cookies, wash the dishes, put the kids to bed so she can do that. I am serious about this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and you suggest in the book that, in addition to dad helping out, there are some things a mom needs to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cInstead of trying to be supermom, just be a super mom.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Karen: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And there is a difference between being supermom and being a super mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Exactly. Whatever that looks like for you\u2014what your strengths are\u2014capitalize on them. The things that are your weakness\u2014farm it out. I should have said, \u201cI would love to donate. I\u2019ll have the bakery send over some cookies,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>\u2014or something. But we have to be realistic about how much time we have and what we can handle in our life because I think we don\u2019t think about this one word\u2014limitations. A mom has limitations, and there is a breaking point. We just continue to pile more and more things on our plate\u2014be a \u201cyes\u201d person to everybody that asks us. We say, \u201cYes,\u201d because we want to be liked. Especially, I find women who stay at home\u2014often, they are looked at like they have all the time in the world. So, they get asked to do a lot more things sometimes. I know I fell into that trap when I was an at-home mom before I worked outside the home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We say, \u201cYes,\u201d to all these things because we want to be liked. We think we\u2019re capable; but we need to really ask, \u201cAm I called to do this?\u201d\u2014not just, \u201cAm I capable?\u201d because we have the curse of capability. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re capable of doing lots of things and doing lots at the same time; but there is a breaking point where we need to just stop and say, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You compare motherhood\u2014in fact, this is one of your myths\u2014to a mom being a NASCAR race driver \/ that she\u2019s engaging in the rat race. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes; and that\u2019s another one of those almost-truths. Motherhood can often look like a rat race, but it doesn\u2019t have to be. We need to learn to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to things; and we need to learn to not let our kids be involved in everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell you\u2014it used to be in our culture that success was determined by what kind of car you drove or what neighborhood you lived in. Now, I really feel that family\u2019s often measure success by how busy we are. Just think about standing on the sidelines of a soccer game or football game; and you say, \u201cOh, how\u2019s it going?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh, good, good. We\u2019re busy, busy. Oh my goodness\u2014Janie\u2019s in dance lessons, and Sammy\u2019s in soccer. Then, they both do this, that, and the other thing outside the home. We just never eat dinner together anymore. We\u2019re just busy running from one thing to the other.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe let it get to be a rat race rather than teaching our kids to just, maybe, be involved in one or two activities and not sign up for every single thing at church and at school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is really a call to reevaluate, and reprioritize, and learn how to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to some things that are good but not best. You\u2019re going to have to look at: \u201cWhat\u2019s the prime goal? What is it that you really have to win at?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And Bob, this is where I just want to call the dads: \u201cStep up. Lead your family\u2014love your wife \/ protect your wife. Sometimes, you have to protect your wife from herself.\u201d\u00a0 She will schedule the kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You speak as one who had experience in this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, Barbara was very competitive. She liked to see the kids compete, and we pretty much agreed the kids would\u2014with six children, we would have one sport per child because, if you\u2019re not careful, you\u2019re only going to be a couple of ships passing in the night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014running kids all over town to gymnastics, soccer, basketball, football, baseball\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whatever the season may be\u2014and really may not have much of a family at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a date night, and I would have to say\u2014this was our sanity in raising six children. We got together on a Sunday night, and we would pull our schedules out\u2014we would look at where we had been, we would decide how far we could go and how fast we can run this race. We were constantly tossing things overboard, getting rid of commitments, and evaluating what we had committed to do. We could not do it <em>all<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s back to the previous myth\u2014<em>nobody<\/em> does it all, and you are comparing from a distance. You just think the other families do it all. There is a <em>bunch<\/em> they are not doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>And I know, for us, one thing we did with our kids was\u2014we said they could have one major and one minor each year. So, they had one major thing they wanted to do\u2014one sport they wanted to be in or extracurricular activity. Then, they could pick one other one; but after that, they were done. If they wanted to be in a third sport or a third activity, they had to cough up the money and pay for it themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she had two activities. She was in drama, and she was in volleyball; but one year, she also wanted to play soccer. Why?\u2014because all of her friends were playing soccer. She hates to run\u2014she didn\u2019t want to be in that sport, but she didn\u2019t want to miss out on the fun. She\u2019s very social. So, we told her she could be in it if she coughed up the money and arranged rides because we were at our limit for the shuttle service at our house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter about three practices, she came home and she said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I really don\u2019t like soccer. I think I\u2019m just going to go to the games and cheer my friends on instead.\u201d\u00a0 I think us making her invest that money really made her make that decision on her own because, so often, we just get out the checkbook and we keep writing checks, and allowing them to be in unlimited amounts of activities, and they just keep signing up for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other danger that I see in it, too, is\u2014I feel like sometimes we are raising a generation of kids that just\u2014it\u2019s all about them: \u201cWhat activity can I be in?\u201d\u00a0 We don\u2019t build in time for service as a family: \u201cGo rake the lawn for the neighbors instead of going and being in another sport.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what I wanted to speak to. Maybe, some parents, who are independently wealthy, and they have all the money they can cough up for all these sports and everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what?\u00a0 You\u2019re still the parent. You\u2019ve got to help them get through childhood and, frankly, allow for some time of innocence\u2014allow them to play in the front yard \/ go exploring outside. They don\u2019t always have to be in organized competitive sports, or academics, or whatever it may be. You be the parent\u2014set the direction and remember your kids are looking to you to protect them from what they don\u2019t know about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>So often kids today don\u2019t know how to interact with a whole group of kids unless there is a coach with a whistle or a teacher telling them what to do. We need to let them just go play kickball in the neighborhood like we used to when we were growing up\u2014just that downtime of interacting and being kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking to Karen Ehman today. She is coauthor of a book called <em>Hoodwinked: Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why They Need to Knock It Off<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you\u2019ve said about these myths, there may be a kernel of truth in some of these myths. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the myths you deal with is the fact that how your kids turn out all depends on you. There is a kernel of truth in how our kids turn out is related to how we do, as moms and dads; but they are still their own people; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Well, actually, a couple of the myths that we wrote about touch on that. One is that: \u201cEverything depends on me.\u201d\u00a0 We think that we are the end all, do all, be all to our kids. We have to provide for their every need, be their only source of encouragement, their only source of teaching them anything. It just makes us be plum worn-out when we think it all depends on us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know one thing that was suggested that I do\u2014that I did\u2014that I\u2019m <em>so<\/em> glad I did\u2014was I prayed for all three of my children that, by the time they were 12 years old, they would have a mentor in their life\u2014someone who had the same morals and values that my husband and I have\u2014that were strong Christians \/ that would point them to Scripture, but that were not us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI saw this, especially, in my oldest child \/ my daughter when she was a teenager. She would have something that was tumultuous \/ a little bit of drama in her life and needed to talk to somebody. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe always didn\u2019t come to me\u2014sometimes, she went to Ms. Ellen. And you know what?\u00a0 I learned to be okay with that. I don\u2019t have to be her everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>I want my kids to get used to going to others for godly counsel and not think that I have to solve all their problems and just be <em>everything<\/em> to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And in fact, having Ms. Ellen\u2019s and others around is a <em>great<\/em> asset for parents because, sometimes, your kids will hear the person outside of the home saying something and they will listen with different ears than when they hear Mom saying it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Karen: <\/strong>That exactly happened to us. Sometimes, she would come home from Ms. Ellen\u2019s house and say: \u201cMom, I talked to Ms. Ellen. She really thinks that I should do \u2018x\u2019, \u2018y\u2019, \u2018z,\u2019\u201d\u2014or whatever. I\u2019m thinking: \u201cAre you kidding me?\u00a0 I told you that six months ago!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>But she didn\u2019t hear it from me. She needed to figure it out on her own. She\u2019d hear somebody else say it before she owned it and did it herself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And sometimes, single men and women\u2014who are in college or, maybe, out of college and starting their own lives\u2014can be a good surrogate aunt or uncle for our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we have to do is make our home available for them to come over and have dinner. That happened a lot with us as we raised ours. I had guys\u2014who worked with me, here at FamilyLife\u2014and they\u2019d be over at the house helping me prepare for something we were going to host for the ministry. My kids feel like some of those guys were big brothers \/ they were part of the family. It\u2019s all in how you are hospitable and encourage these folks to come to your place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and that\u2019s healthy. It\u2019s healthy for your kids to see that diversity and to see that there are other grownups who think like Mom and Dad. It\u2019s not just crazy Mom and crazy Dad thinking that way but to know that there is a broader community out there who feel that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the truth is, Karen\u2014at the end of the day, we mark our kids indelibly, as moms and as dads. When we look back from our vantage point\u2014look at our parents\u2014we know that, maybe, we mark our kids by being absent \/ maybe, we mark our kids by being unloving with harshness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere can be negative marks that are left on a child by the things we do or the things we don\u2019t do. In the same way, we have the privilege of helping to mold and shape the thinking and the character of a child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not insignificant, but we also have to remember\u2014and I know this because we raised five kids and they turned out different and they made different choices. One child grows up this way\u2014obedient and following the rules. Another child grows up, pushing against those rules. I\u2019m going, \u201cIt\u2019s the same parents, but it\u2019s different kids\u201d; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes, and we need to learn to not tether our child\u2019s choices to our identity because we do that so often. They make a good choice: \u201cYay!\u00a0 I\u2019m a great mom!\u201d\u00a0 They do something wrong, \u201cOh, I stink as a mother.\u201d\u00a0 We get our emotions all tied up into it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to model for them making good choices. We need to let our kids see us going to God to help us make our choices, but we need to realize the results are in their hands. Whatever good comes of them is not necessarily because of me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s in spite of me\u2014and it\u2019s because of God\u2019s grace in their life. Of course, I want to try to impact them for good and show them the way that leads to a life that honors God; but I can\u2019t get so tied up into it that, if my child decides that that\u2019s not the way for them, that I feel like it\u2019s my fault. I need to be obedient and leave the results up to God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You do. And I just want to go back to something we\u2019ve touched on here. I really agree with you that parents shouldn\u2019t think it all depends upon them. But there are certain things that do depend upon the parent. You need to take responsibility to teach your child about God, to teach them how to handle the traps they\u2019re going to face as they go through pre-adolescence and adolescence. You need to help them understand sexuality\u2014who they are, how they\u2019re made, how God made them. You can\u2019t delegate those things out formally. You\u2019ve got to assume responsibility and pray that God adds the building blocks to your son or daughter\u2019s life as they grow up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, this goes back to what we were saying. There are so many things you can do as a parent, but there are a handful of things you must do. It\u2019s separating the can-do from the must-do that is the prioritization that a mom has to regularly go through because we can get\u2014moms and dads\u2014we can get seduced by the can-do and leave the must-do in the dust just because we didn\u2019t stop and think about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>One thing I have learned to ask myself is, \u201cWhat can only I do?\u201d\u00a0 Yes, there are some things that someone else can do for my kids; but only I can be the one to do some of the things that Dennis just mentioned. Ask yourself, \u201cWhat can only I do?\u201d and focus on those things. Leave the rest\u2014you know, if they don\u2019t get done, that\u2019s fine \/ or if you have to farm it out\u2014get the cookies from the bakery because your child needs you to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>\u2014talk through something important in their life with them that day. It\u2019s okay. We can\u2019t do it all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your identity doesn\u2019t need to rest on whether your cookies were made from a 100-year-old cookie recipe that goes back four generations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That has flour that was milled from grains from the Middle East that are full of nutrients that you don\u2019t get anywhere else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; exactly. But I\u2019ll tell you what does matter\u2014is where your kids get their marching orders about how they are going to view dating, and the opposite sex, and how they\u2019re going to go about establishing a relationship. And it\u2019s why, Bob\u2014we created <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> \/ <em>Passport2Identity\u2122<\/em>\u2014a couple of tools that parents use to equip their kids to handle these issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I know you are talking about here, Karen\u2014you\u2019re talking about parents assuming too much responsibility. I just want to go back to what we talked about here about those things that are your responsibility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s in that list of the must-do\u2019s\u2014the things that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014we\u2019ve got to make sure we cover, as parents. You know, we had a dad who came to us, years ago, after taking one of his kids through <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 If you gave me about four or five things like this to do with my children, as they are growing up, I\u2019d be so far ahead of most parents.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, after we\u2019d done <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>, we said, \u201cLet\u2019s design another experience like this for parents and 14-\/15-year-old kids, who are struggling with: \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWhat am I good at?\u201d \u201cWhat should I be doing with my life?\u201d \u201cHow do I fit in with others?\u201d\u00a0 So, we said, \u201cLet\u2019s create a couple-of-days getaway, where a mom can take a daughter \/ dad can take a son, and you go off for a couple of days and you talk about \u201cWhat\u2019s your identity?\u201d \u201cWho did God make you to be?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur listeners ought to find out more about <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> when they go to FamilyLifeToday.com because we\u2019ve got information about it there. I would also encourage you: \u201cGet a copy of the book, <em>Hoodwinked<\/em>, that Karen Ehman has written, along with Ruth Schwenk.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s <em>Ten Myths Moms Believe and Why We All Need to Knock It Off<\/em>. Hopefully, it\u2019ll help some moms\u2014just read the book and go: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay; alright. Take a deep breath,\u201d\u2014because that\u2019s what you were going for; right? At the end of this book, you want moms to just kind of go [inhale], \u201cOkay, I can do this; and it\u2019s going to be okay.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Give themselves some space, and give themselves some grace, and just keep showing up, and being the best mom that you can be for your unique children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. Again, by phone, the number is 1-800-358-6329; or you can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there is one other myth that you talk about in your book that a lot of women have told you they buy into this myth, and it\u2019s one you\u2019ve wrestled with too; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>Yes, and that is the myth that my child\u2019s bad choice means I\u2019m a bad mom. And that means\u2014whether they are two years old and they are pushing down a kid in the ball section at the fast-food place, where they are supposed to be playing happily, and now they are the ball room bully\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or maybe, they\u2019re in middle school or high school; and you get a call from the principal that they are sitting in the office, busted for a prank they thought was completely\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Been there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>\u2014hilarious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Know what you are talking about; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen: <\/strong>I don\u2019t have any experience with that anyhow. [Sarcastic grunt]\u00a0 Or maybe, they are an adult child that has made a really crucial choice that\u2019s made a big difference in the trajectory of their life. Now, you\u2019re beating yourself up, thinking, \u201cIt must be something I did.\u201d\u00a0 We tether our child\u2019s choices to the core of our identity\u2014then, we decide that we\u2019re a bad parent\u2014or if they make good choices, we think: \u201cWow! We really rock as a parent!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to know that we need to model good choices for them, pray that they will make good choices, teach them how to do it\u2014how to go through Scripture \/ how to get godly counsel\u2014but know that they are their own. We are all going to stand before God someday. We\u2019re not going to answer for what our kids did or what our parents did. We\u2019re going to answer for what we did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Being a successful mom is committing your children to God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014studying the Bible, praying, asking God for wisdom, doing the best job you can in the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within you, and then, leave the results to God. You cannot guarantee the results of how your child is going to turn out. As one person said, if you want a guarantee, go buy a car battery because you\u2019re not going to get a guarantee with a kid. They have their own will \/ their own way\u2014it\u2019s part of the mystery\u2014but also part of the challenge of raising the next generation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it\u2019s one of the reasons why we\u2019ve got to routinely adjust our thinking, as parents, and remember what the Bible teaches about the assignment God has given us, and what\u2019s true, and keep doing what we\u2019ve been called to do and trust God that He is in control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I would encourage our listeners to get a copy of Karen\u2019s book, <em>Hoodwinked<\/em>. You can order, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Karen\u2014thanks, again, for being with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d before we\u2019re all done here today to our friends, Wayne and Crystal May. The Mays live in North Carolina. Today is their one-year wedding anniversary. So, they\u2019ve gotten through the first lap in this relay race that we call marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>At FamilyLife, we\u2019re all about celebrating anniversaries. This is our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, as a ministry; but we really want our focus to be on all of the anniversaries that have been celebrated over the last 40 years as a result of how God has used FamilyLife in the lives of so many people. And we want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who partner with us to make this ministry possible. We appreciate your support as we seek to bring practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family every day on this program, on our website, through our events and our resources. We\u2019re grateful for you joining with us in that effort. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014make your donation over the phone; or mail your donation to us. Our mailing address is PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about how you can teach your kids to know God in more than a superficial way. Bruce Ware is going to join us to talk about how we teach big truths to young hearts. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303980","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303980"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303980"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303980"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303980"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303980"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303980"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303980"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}