{"id":303964,"date":"2016-04-21T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-04-21T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/relational-identity\/"},"modified":"2016-04-21T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-04-21T15:00:00","slug":"relational-identity","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/relational-identity\/","title":{"rendered":"Relational Identity"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>John Majors and Michelle Hill help parents discuss friendships, mentors, and opposite sex relationships with their teens through FamilyLife&#8217;s new resource, Passport2Indentity\u2122.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-21.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.47M","filesize_raw":"28808522","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855],"tags":[5991,4698,5990,5992,5994,4074,5995,5993,4920],"podcast_series":[8138],"cwp_profile":[3108,8858],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303964","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","tag-gender-indentity","tag-manhood","tag-passport2identity","tag-personal-mission","tag-self-discovery","tag-spiritual-identity","tag-spirituality","tag-teen-independence","tag-womanhood","podcast_series-passport2identity","cwp_profile-john-majors","cwp_profile-michelle-hill","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303964\/relational-identity","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303964\/relational-identity","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"iUbEIW4Eqk\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/relational-identity\/\">Relational Identity<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/relational-identity\/embed\/#?secret=iUbEIW4Eqk\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Relational Identity&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"iUbEIW4Eqk\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-21.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-21.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a pattern that seems to be somewhat regular for teenage girls as they think about teenage boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Woman: <\/strong>Step 1: Spot a cute boy. We\u2019ll call him, Boy \u201cA.\u201d\u00a0 Step 2: Dream about Boy \u201cA.\u201d\u00a0 Step 3: Do whatever it takes to make Boy \u201cA\u201d notice me. Step 4: Even though Boy \u201cA\u201d doesn\u2019t pursue me, hang on to my dream about Boy \u201cA.\u201d\u00a0 Step 5: Mend my broken heart after hating Boy \u201cA\u201d and finding another cute boy\u2014Boy \u201cB.\u201d\u00a0 Replace Boy \u201cA\u201d with Boy \u201cB.\u201d\u00a0 Dream about Boy \u201cB.\u201d\u00a0 Make sure Boy \u201cB\u201d notices me. Hang onto my dream of Boy \u201cB\u201d until he\u2014move onto another boy\u2014Boy \u201cC.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Does that really happen with girls, Michelle?\u00a0 Michelle Hill\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>No, not at all!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014joins us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. John Majors is back. You say it does?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes, it does\u2014it does all the time. I can guarantee\u2014probably, at least, 85 percent of the girls out there\u2014that is the story\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me just say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u2014going on in their head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me say\u2014welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. All this week, we\u2019ve been talking about 15- and 16-year-olds. We\u2019ve been talking about the challenges that they face and the identity issues they\u2019re wrestling with\u2014and how moms and dads can be their allies, and can be used by God to help those 14- and 15- and 16-year-old mid-teen sons and daughters really get anchored rightly and have a solid understanding of who God made them to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking about issues of identity\u2014helping your teenage young lady \/ young man know who he is, know his sexual identity, his relational identity as he relates to peers and the opposite sex, understand who he is as he is tempted to, maybe, go with some of the more popular concepts around fluid gender identity today, Bob, and know where he stands on issues like homosexuality \/ same-sex marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we\u2019ve got to train our young people to know what to believe and what the Bible teaches about these matters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn Majors and Michelle Hill, I mentioned earlier, have joined us here. They have created a new resource for parents of young women and young men, between the ages of 14 and 16, that really enables a mom to get away with a daughter and a father to get away with a son and have some relevant conversations around these issues of identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExplain to us, really, what you were trying to accomplish, John, as you take on this issue\u2014what Bob was talking about\u2014about relationships and rightly experiencing community but not being dependent on the peers to find out who you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>One of the quotes I ran across\u2014when we were researching for this\u2014was a guy who said: \u201cYou are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo, surround yourself with people who are doing interesting things, who are thinking interesting thoughts, who challenge you to be better.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why we really try to give them a category. There are three main types of relationships that we focused on. One is the mentors: \u201cWho are the mentors in your life who are helping speak truth down into your life?\u201d\u00a0 The other is a band of brothers\u2014so, \u201cWhen you think about your peers, who are the men or women you surround yourself with that help you grow stronger and grow closer to Christ?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mentors, peers, and then\u2014what\u2019s the third group?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>The opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, and your relationships with members of the opposite sex\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014because that\u2019s going to shape how you understand and how you look at your identity as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And a healthy relationship with the opposite sex is really important\u2014that doesn\u2019t mean it needs to be romantic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>But what we try to navigate in here is: \u201cHow do you think about the opposite sex rightly in this stage of life?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Such as?\u00a0 What do you mean?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>The theme verse we draw on here is Romans 12:9-10: \u201cLet love be genuine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAbhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good.\u201d\u00a0 We really wanted to emphasize the idea of genuine love: \u201cHow do you genuinely love the people of the opposite sex in your life?\u00a0 Are you treating them the way you would want someone to treat your sister or your daughter?\u201d\u2014really emphasizing the idea of genuine love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And once again, you took that verse and we went to our friends at Seeds Family Worship. They did all of the music for <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>\u2014just as they did for <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, Romans 12:9-10 is put to music, and it sounds\u2014here\u2019s what it sounds like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>Genuine<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the thing about having a verse like that put to music is that, as you\u2019re listening to these CDs\u2014a father and a son or a mother and a daughter\u2014as a part of a <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> getaway, where the two of you are off on your own and going through the workbook and listening to the CDs\u2014when you get a verse like that put to music, it just gets\u2014it\u2019s still stuck in my head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s sticky. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Singing] \u201cLet love be genuine.\u201d\u00a0 I mean you can hear it\u2014it just comes back to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it contrasts biblical love with how the world loves. There is a lot of selfishness in how the world is training young people to love one another. I think of the whole hooking-up culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents have got to prepare their daughters and their sons how to think about this culture that says, \u201cHey, just go satisfy yourself at the expense of the opposite sex,\u201d and \u201cHow do you handle the advances of a boy who is being too aggressive or a girl who is being too aggressive?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the ways you guys get into this subject on the CDs is by having a little fun\u2014setting up some humorous, tongue-in-cheek situations like\u2014you had a group of people getting together at a meeting \/ what you called Autonomous Anonymous, where they\u2019re recognizing that no man is an island and \u201cWe really do need one another.\u201d This is what it wound up sounding like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leader: <\/strong>Alright. Good evening. Welcome to Autonomous Anonymous\u2014a meeting for those who have gone solo and want to talk about it. So, let\u2019s get started; shall we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Hi. My name is Steve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Group: <\/strong>Hi, Steve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>I used to be one of the stooges. You know <em>The Three Stooges<\/em>\u2014Larry, Moe, and Curly\u2014there used to be four. I went off on my own, and I was the one stooge. I thought I could be funnier all by myself; but it turns out that a 2 x 4 to the head, when there\u2019s no one else around, isn\u2019t funny\u2014it\u2019s painful. [Whack]\u00a0 Ow!\u00a0 [Laughter turns to crying]\u00a0 It really hurts!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leader: <\/strong>Thank you for sharing that. You can know that we\u2019re all laughing at you. Alright; who\u2019s next?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mentos: <\/strong>You might know my friends, <em>The Three Musketeers<\/em>, Aramis, Athos, and Porthos. Hi, my name is Mentos. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Group: <\/strong>Hi, Mentos. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mentos: <\/strong>Sure they got a candy bar named after them; I get breath mints\u2014whatever. Anyway, I\u2019m the one musketeer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI live by one motto and one motto only: \u201cAll for one and all for one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Van Gogh Picasso: <\/strong>My name is Van Gogh Picasso. I\u2019m a ninja turtle\u2014whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Group: <\/strong>Hi, Van Gogh Picasso. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Van Gogh Picasso: <\/strong>Yes; so, I left the other four. I mean, I can fight crime on my own\u2014whatever. Sure, I mean, I see them high-fiving each other after they beat up on the bad guys\u2014whatever. You know what I mean?\u00a0 I can high-five myself!\u00a0 Cowabunga!\u00a0 See, I\u2019m fine on my own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, Autonomous Anonymous\u2014the point there, Michelle, is that to isolate yourself\u2014and some teenagers will do this \/ they\u2019ll just push off and kind of get isolated. That\u2019s just not how we were designed to live. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>We weren\u2019t. We were designed to be in fellowship with God, and then, with others. As we talk about in Session 4, we need mentors; we need friendships; we need those good close friendships that keep us accountable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe parents who are listening\u2014your <em>children<\/em> need these relationships. They need these people to follow, to be an example, to point them back to God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd parents need help. We\u2019re not an island. If we\u2019re talking about the kids\u2014if we\u2019re talking about the teens that need help and need friendships\u2014parents also need that extra person who is also speaking into their child\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>So, we\u2019re really pushing a young person hearing this to be proactive in finding a mentor. It\u2019s great if a mentor comes after you; but also, go out and find people. One of my theories has always been: \u201cGet around guys you want to be like.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s why I came to work here\u2014that\u2019s why I came to work for you, Dennis, because there are things in you I saw that I want to learn from you. There are things about you, as a man, I want to be like. So, we\u2019re pushing guys to be proactive: \u201cFind mentors \/ get around guys you want to be like.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And there are a lot of parents, listening to us right now talk, and they\u2019re saying: \u201cYou don\u2019t know my daughter or my son. They\u2019re <em>nowhere<\/em> near in the ballgame here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou couldn\u2019t challenge them to find a mentor because who they are hanging with right now is really a bad influence.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, 1 Corinthians 15:33 is one that we talked about in <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u2014mom and daughter \/ father and son\u2014\u201cBad company corrupts good morals.\u201d\u00a0 So, what do you do when you see your son or your daughter hanging with the wrong group?\u00a0 Parents have to take charge here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>We had a group of guys, where their fathers got together and saw this happening. They said, \u201cYou know, our boys are spending time together; but they are not really being intentional with that time.\u201d\u00a0 They took it on themselves and said, \u201cLet\u2019s gather them together and let\u2019s take them through\u2026\u201d\u2014they took them through <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, the video series, Dennis, based on the book you wrote about how to grow into manhood. They said, \u201cWe want to be intentional to help you guys grow closer together but to help you grow closer to Christ in the midst of that.\u201d\u00a0 They challenged them: \u201cHow can you keep growing together on your own, even without us having to be here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat led to them forming a group they called The Roof Crashers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you interviewed them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014for this and include their story in <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>. Let\u2019s listen to these guys describe how their relationships with one another were really making a difference in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man: <\/strong>There\u2019s such a difference from just being friends, and hanging out, and having a good time to actually challenging each other and calling each other up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-1: <\/strong>\u201cAs iron sharpens iron, so, one man sharpens another.\u201d\u00a0 And part of iron sharpening iron\u2014sparks will fly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-2: <\/strong>It\u2019s hard to open up. It\u2019s hard to say, \u201cThis is how I\u2019m messing up this week. This is how I am not loving God.\u201d\u00a0 But once you do, it\u2019s like, literally, like lifting a weight off your back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-3: <\/strong>After every meeting, I felt like, \u201cI\u2019m going to go out there, and I\u2019m going to keep giving it my best and receiving grace.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-4: <\/strong>No; I could say something. Do you want to say something, Michael?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>You can go ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-4: <\/strong>Okay. What I grew to appreciate a lot about The Roof Crashers was\u2014yes, we had a lot of similarities. We could get together out in the woods and just have a blast!\u00a0 But there were differences among us\u2014whether it was something I was going through\u2014and when I\u2019d share it with the group, they\u2019d be able to give me some insight, that hadn\u2019t even crossed my mind, on how I could be better at constructing my schedule or something so that I wasn\u2019t continually putting God by the wayside and getting distracted with homework, or school, or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, sometimes, when they\u2019d be talking about what\u2019s going on in their life, they\u2019d say something that hadn\u2019t even occurred to me. Someone would mention how they\u2019ve just been challenged to start to memorize Scripture. I\u2019d think: \u201cWow!\u00a0 I haven\u2019t given any thought to memorizing Scripture in a long time.\u201d\u00a0 And we could say, \u201cOkay, do we want to try to memorize something this week as a group?\u201d\u00a0 And I remember, one time, we did some passages in Romans\u2014just about overcoming evil\u2014and that was a big encouragement to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>These guys that we just heard were teenagers. They formed their own group called The Roof Crashers. Explain why they called themselves that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, it was based on a story in Mark, Chapter 2, where a couple of guys took their paralytic friend up onto the roof of a house so he could see Jesus. They tore the roof open and lowered him down to Him. They were that committed to their friendship that they would do whatever it took to get him in front of Jesus so that Jesus could heal him. It was that kind of friendship that they wanted to bond in their group together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As parents, we need to be doing all we can to nurture, and facilitate, and put kindling around, and fertilizer around those kinds of friendships when we see them happening. Then, we also need to be working hard to disrupt the negative relationships when we see those happening. It\u2019s not easy to do because you send your son or daughter off to school\u2014and you don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on, or who they are hanging with, or what\u2019s happening there\u2014but there is real power for good or for evil in these relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara and I intercepted more than one relationship that we felt like might be borderline unhealthy with our sons or our daughters on more than one occasion. I mean, we had six kids. You\u2019re not going to be able to control all their friendships they have at school; but you\u2019ve got to monitor what\u2019s going on and who they are hanging out with. And if they are hanging with the wrong people, you need to make it next to impossible to get with them. Be shrewd \/ be smart and not make it a negative, but make it difficult for them to get together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s good, Dennis, to just encourage the parent: \u201cYou are the parent. You do have the right to make some of those tough calls and step in. Your kids need that because they don\u2019t have the wisdom to see that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Be courageous!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And sometimes, parenting does demand that we step up and be courageous in our kids\u2019 lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And part of what you guys talk about in Session 4, with young men and young women, is their relationships with members of the opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s on their minds, and we want those relationships to look appropriate and healthy. So, that is addressed in this session. But you also have to deal with what young men and young women are questioning today; and that is, \u201cIf I\u2019m attracted to somebody of the same sex, what does that say about my identity?\u201d\u00a0 We used a fictionalized story here to illustrate what a lot of young people are facing today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Woman: <\/strong>Dear Journal, what a day!\u00a0 Lots happened!\u00a0 Let\u2019s see\u2014I dropped a cup of coffee at work in someone\u2019s lap, had a big misunderstanding with Mom \/ lost some more privileges, fought with Ashley\u2014she pretty much hates me now. Nothing is going right today!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd before that, Mr. Schmidt, my biology teacher, said something in class that we are free to choose who we like\u2014as in girls can like girls. He said it was natural. Then, Ella was talking about how her sister came out. I thought it was kind of weird, but then, like everyone got excited like it was really cool or whatever. I don\u2019t know what to think. I\u2019ve heard that some girls at school are experimenting with each other\u2014like practically everyone thinks it is okay; but is it? I don\u2019t know what to think. #Confused;\u00a0 #LongDay;\u00a0 #RealLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, no doubt that is real life. That\u2019s an excerpt from Session 4 of <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>. And from that point, we\u2019re able to guide a young person and a parent into exploring\u201d \u201cWhat does the Bible teach about our relationships\u2014or same-sex relationships?\u201d and \u201cWhy are there sexual boundaries around those relationships?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really does tee this up in what I think is a very appropriate way for a conversation to ensue because there may be sons and daughters who are experiencing same-sex attraction. We want them to be able to talk to their mom or their dad about that without shaming it; and yet, at the same time, we want to say, \u201cHere\u2019s how the Bible guides us, and here\u2019s the direction it points us.\u201d\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>We talked about just gender identity\u2014and what it is to be a woman, and what it is to be a man, and how there is so much confusion out there\u2014and now, there is confusion about who we should be attracted to. And teens, these days, need a safe place to talk through this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not with their peers who are telling them, \u201cIt is okay,\u201d but they need a safe place to be talking about this. Who better than their parent?\u2014to say \/ help them unpack what the Bible says about it, and then, unpack their emotions and what they are thinking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you, actually, in the travel journal for the young lady, would encourage a conversation with her mom about what she\u2019s struggling with: \u201cIs this a problem for her?\u201d\u2014 right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, for a lot of parents, they are feeling like this is not safe, but honestly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>It\u2019s a scary place to go!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. It really is, but this is what must happen. There needs to be these kinds of discussions that let the pressure off of the issue and bring it out of the dark and into the light. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>They are going to hear about \/ they are talking about it\u2014it\u2019s all around them. So, the question is: \u201cAre you going to engage on it from a biblical perspective?\u201d\u00a0 And we hope to provide that. We\u2019ve got a couple of different stories\u2014one from a woman who struggled with that \/ and then, one from a man who has struggled from same-sex attraction\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but who now view it from a biblical perspective. So, we present that in the audio. That tees you up to talk about it in a way that, hopefully, will be helpful for a young person to give them an island of truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re really right, John. And some parents, who are listening to us right now, are thinking: \u201cI need to determine what I believe. This is uncovering a weakness in my own understanding of Scripture.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut a second thing\u2014and I just want parents to think this through: \u201cAs you raise kids through adolescence, you are going to face some challenging moments, where you cannot allow your face to express the terror, the questions, the doubt, the shame, the absolute, maybe, anger at points of what your kids may share or where they may fail. What you\u2019ve got to do is\u2014you have to say, \u201cI\u2019ve got to be a shock-absorber for my daughter \/ for my son as they go through these perilous years, and hear their failures, and listen to them and their doubts, and shoulder their temptations with them so it really is a safe place.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s dangerous enough in the culture for them to be out there; but to be out there alone\u2014without their mom and dad knowing what\u2019s going on, and being engaged, and connecting with them\u2014that\u2019s the biggest danger of all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And to the parent, who would say, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t know what to do if my son or my daughter told me that they were experiencing same-sex attraction,\u201d I\u2019d just say back, \u201cIt\u2019s much better to have that out in the open and you not know what to do than it is for your son or your daughter to just be keeping it a secret.\u201d\u00a0 And you say, \u201cBecause I wouldn\u2019t know what to do, I don\u2019t want to hear it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; but it\u2019d be okay, at that point, to say: \u201cYou know, I just want you to know how proud I am of you feeling secure enough to express that. I\u2019d like to continue talking about that, going forward.\u201d\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean you have to have the answer right now, but you can go listen to some other <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> broadcasts that will help you and equip you to be able to have these discussions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; in fact, we\u2019re going to put a link up on our website to some of those programs that you might want to listen to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was having a conversation just recently with a mom and a dad, who are going through this very thing with their teenage son, who is same-sex attracted. They are looking for help and for answers. And we were able to provide them with some programs and some resources that they said were very helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, you\u2019ll find that when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, which is also where you\u2019ll find information about <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> for young men and for young women. We hope that you\u2019ll block out a couple of days, later this spring or this summer, when you and your son or you and your daughter can get away and have one of these <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> getaways. Do something fun together and listen to this content as you drive there and as you drive home. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information or to order the resource online; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should mention here\u2014if you have a preteen \/ somebody who is 9, 10, or 11\u2014plan the same kind of getaway with them \/ only, take them on a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> getaway. And you\u2019ll find information about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> on our website as well. So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you haven\u2019t downloaded the new FamilyLife app, check out your app store. Make sure you type in \u201cFamilyLife\u201d as one word. When you do that, the first thing that will show up in the app store is our new app. It\u2019s free, and it gives you access to FamilyLife content on the go. So, check it out in your app store; or go to FamilyLifeToday.com if you need more information on how to get the new FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We want to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d today to Pastors Clark and Dana Williams, who live in Mountain Home, Idaho. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Williams are celebrating 32 years of marriage today. They are regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. They listen on KBXL in Boise. They\u2019ve been to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> nine times, and they are Legacy Partners\u2014they help support this ministry. So, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Williams; and \u201cThank you for your ongoing support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it weren\u2019t for folks, like Clark and Dana\u2014who help make this radio program possible as they support this ministry \/ and we appreciate that financial support\u2014we couldn\u2019t do what we do if it weren\u2019t for folks like you. In fact, today, if you can help with a donation of any kind, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you Barbara Rainey\u2019s brand-new book, which is called <em>Letters to My Daughters: The Art of Being a Wife<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation online; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate and ask for a copy of the book; or request the book when you donate in writing. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about the mission \/ the assignment that God has for your son or for your daughter. One of our assignments, as parents, is to help our sons and daughters figure out what that assignment is, and then, get them launched \/ pointed in the right direction. We\u2019ll talk about how you do that tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSong:\u00a0\u00a0<em>Genuine<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist\/Album: Seeds Family Worship for Passport2Identity\u2122\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.47M"],"filesize_raw":["28808522"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303964.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303964.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Majors and Michelle Hill help parents discuss friendships, mentors, and opposite sex relationships with their teens through FamilyLife's new resource, Passport2Indentity\u2122.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a pattern that seems to be somewhat regular for teenage girls as they think about teenage boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Woman: <\/strong>Step 1: Spot a cute boy. We\u2019ll call him, Boy \u201cA.\u201d\u00a0 Step 2: Dream about Boy \u201cA.\u201d\u00a0 Step 3: Do whatever it takes to make Boy \u201cA\u201d notice me. Step 4: Even though Boy \u201cA\u201d doesn\u2019t pursue me, hang on to my dream about Boy \u201cA.\u201d\u00a0 Step 5: Mend my broken heart after hating Boy \u201cA\u201d and finding another cute boy\u2014Boy \u201cB.\u201d\u00a0 Replace Boy \u201cA\u201d with Boy \u201cB.\u201d\u00a0 Dream about Boy \u201cB.\u201d\u00a0 Make sure Boy \u201cB\u201d notices me. Hang onto my dream of Boy \u201cB\u201d until he\u2014move onto another boy\u2014Boy \u201cC.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Does that really happen with girls, Michelle?\u00a0 Michelle Hill\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>No, not at all!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014joins us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. John Majors is back. You say it does?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes, it does\u2014it does all the time. I can guarantee\u2014probably, at least, 85 percent of the girls out there\u2014that is the story\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me just say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>\u2014going on in their head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me say\u2014welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. All this week, we\u2019ve been talking about 15- and 16-year-olds. We\u2019ve been talking about the challenges that they face and the identity issues they\u2019re wrestling with\u2014and how moms and dads can be their allies, and can be used by God to help those 14- and 15- and 16-year-old mid-teen sons and daughters really get anchored rightly and have a solid understanding of who God made them to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking about issues of identity\u2014helping your teenage young lady \/ young man know who he is, know his sexual identity, his relational identity as he relates to peers and the opposite sex, understand who he is as he is tempted to, maybe, go with some of the more popular concepts around fluid gender identity today, Bob, and know where he stands on issues like homosexuality \/ same-sex marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we\u2019ve got to train our young people to know what to believe and what the Bible teaches about these matters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn Majors and Michelle Hill, I mentioned earlier, have joined us here. They have created a new resource for parents of young women and young men, between the ages of 14 and 16, that really enables a mom to get away with a daughter and a father to get away with a son and have some relevant conversations around these issues of identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExplain to us, really, what you were trying to accomplish, John, as you take on this issue\u2014what Bob was talking about\u2014about relationships and rightly experiencing community but not being dependent on the peers to find out who you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>One of the quotes I ran across\u2014when we were researching for this\u2014was a guy who said: \u201cYou are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo, surround yourself with people who are doing interesting things, who are thinking interesting thoughts, who challenge you to be better.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why we really try to give them a category. There are three main types of relationships that we focused on. One is the mentors: \u201cWho are the mentors in your life who are helping speak truth down into your life?\u201d\u00a0 The other is a band of brothers\u2014so, \u201cWhen you think about your peers, who are the men or women you surround yourself with that help you grow stronger and grow closer to Christ?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mentors, peers, and then\u2014what\u2019s the third group?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>The opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, and your relationships with members of the opposite sex\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014because that\u2019s going to shape how you understand and how you look at your identity as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And a healthy relationship with the opposite sex is really important\u2014that doesn\u2019t mean it needs to be romantic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>But what we try to navigate in here is: \u201cHow do you think about the opposite sex rightly in this stage of life?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Such as?\u00a0 What do you mean?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>The theme verse we draw on here is Romans 12:9-10: \u201cLet love be genuine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAbhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good.\u201d\u00a0 We really wanted to emphasize the idea of genuine love: \u201cHow do you genuinely love the people of the opposite sex in your life?\u00a0 Are you treating them the way you would want someone to treat your sister or your daughter?\u201d\u2014really emphasizing the idea of genuine love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And once again, you took that verse and we went to our friends at Seeds Family Worship. They did all of the music for <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>\u2014just as they did for <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, Romans 12:9-10 is put to music, and it sounds\u2014here\u2019s what it sounds like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>Genuine<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the thing about having a verse like that put to music is that, as you\u2019re listening to these CDs\u2014a father and a son or a mother and a daughter\u2014as a part of a <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> getaway, where the two of you are off on your own and going through the workbook and listening to the CDs\u2014when you get a verse like that put to music, it just gets\u2014it\u2019s still stuck in my head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s sticky. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Singing] \u201cLet love be genuine.\u201d\u00a0 I mean you can hear it\u2014it just comes back to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it contrasts biblical love with how the world loves. There is a lot of selfishness in how the world is training young people to love one another. I think of the whole hooking-up culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents have got to prepare their daughters and their sons how to think about this culture that says, \u201cHey, just go satisfy yourself at the expense of the opposite sex,\u201d and \u201cHow do you handle the advances of a boy who is being too aggressive or a girl who is being too aggressive?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the ways you guys get into this subject on the CDs is by having a little fun\u2014setting up some humorous, tongue-in-cheek situations like\u2014you had a group of people getting together at a meeting \/ what you called Autonomous Anonymous, where they\u2019re recognizing that no man is an island and \u201cWe really do need one another.\u201d This is what it wound up sounding like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leader: <\/strong>Alright. Good evening. Welcome to Autonomous Anonymous\u2014a meeting for those who have gone solo and want to talk about it. So, let\u2019s get started; shall we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>Hi. My name is Steve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Group: <\/strong>Hi, Steve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve: <\/strong>I used to be one of the stooges. You know <em>The Three Stooges<\/em>\u2014Larry, Moe, and Curly\u2014there used to be four. I went off on my own, and I was the one stooge. I thought I could be funnier all by myself; but it turns out that a 2 x 4 to the head, when there\u2019s no one else around, isn\u2019t funny\u2014it\u2019s painful. [Whack]\u00a0 Ow!\u00a0 [Laughter turns to crying]\u00a0 It really hurts!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leader: <\/strong>Thank you for sharing that. You can know that we\u2019re all laughing at you. Alright; who\u2019s next?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mentos: <\/strong>You might know my friends, <em>The Three Musketeers<\/em>, Aramis, Athos, and Porthos. Hi, my name is Mentos. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Group: <\/strong>Hi, Mentos. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mentos: <\/strong>Sure they got a candy bar named after them; I get breath mints\u2014whatever. Anyway, I\u2019m the one musketeer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI live by one motto and one motto only: \u201cAll for one and all for one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Van Gogh Picasso: <\/strong>My name is Van Gogh Picasso. I\u2019m a ninja turtle\u2014whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Group: <\/strong>Hi, Van Gogh Picasso. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Van Gogh Picasso: <\/strong>Yes; so, I left the other four. I mean, I can fight crime on my own\u2014whatever. Sure, I mean, I see them high-fiving each other after they beat up on the bad guys\u2014whatever. You know what I mean?\u00a0 I can high-five myself!\u00a0 Cowabunga!\u00a0 See, I\u2019m fine on my own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, Autonomous Anonymous\u2014the point there, Michelle, is that to isolate yourself\u2014and some teenagers will do this \/ they\u2019ll just push off and kind of get isolated. That\u2019s just not how we were designed to live. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>We weren\u2019t. We were designed to be in fellowship with God, and then, with others. As we talk about in Session 4, we need mentors; we need friendships; we need those good close friendships that keep us accountable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe parents who are listening\u2014your <em>children<\/em> need these relationships. They need these people to follow, to be an example, to point them back to God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd parents need help. We\u2019re not an island. If we\u2019re talking about the kids\u2014if we\u2019re talking about the teens that need help and need friendships\u2014parents also need that extra person who is also speaking into their child\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>So, we\u2019re really pushing a young person hearing this to be proactive in finding a mentor. It\u2019s great if a mentor comes after you; but also, go out and find people. One of my theories has always been: \u201cGet around guys you want to be like.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s why I came to work here\u2014that\u2019s why I came to work for you, Dennis, because there are things in you I saw that I want to learn from you. There are things about you, as a man, I want to be like. So, we\u2019re pushing guys to be proactive: \u201cFind mentors \/ get around guys you want to be like.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And there are a lot of parents, listening to us right now talk, and they\u2019re saying: \u201cYou don\u2019t know my daughter or my son. They\u2019re <em>nowhere<\/em> near in the ballgame here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou couldn\u2019t challenge them to find a mentor because who they are hanging with right now is really a bad influence.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, 1 Corinthians 15:33 is one that we talked about in <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u2014mom and daughter \/ father and son\u2014\u201cBad company corrupts good morals.\u201d\u00a0 So, what do you do when you see your son or your daughter hanging with the wrong group?\u00a0 Parents have to take charge here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>We had a group of guys, where their fathers got together and saw this happening. They said, \u201cYou know, our boys are spending time together; but they are not really being intentional with that time.\u201d\u00a0 They took it on themselves and said, \u201cLet\u2019s gather them together and let\u2019s take them through\u2026\u201d\u2014they took them through <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, the video series, Dennis, based on the book you wrote about how to grow into manhood. They said, \u201cWe want to be intentional to help you guys grow closer together but to help you grow closer to Christ in the midst of that.\u201d\u00a0 They challenged them: \u201cHow can you keep growing together on your own, even without us having to be here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat led to them forming a group they called The Roof Crashers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you interviewed them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014for this and include their story in <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>. Let\u2019s listen to these guys describe how their relationships with one another were really making a difference in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man: <\/strong>There\u2019s such a difference from just being friends, and hanging out, and having a good time to actually challenging each other and calling each other up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-1: <\/strong>\u201cAs iron sharpens iron, so, one man sharpens another.\u201d\u00a0 And part of iron sharpening iron\u2014sparks will fly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-2: <\/strong>It\u2019s hard to open up. It\u2019s hard to say, \u201cThis is how I\u2019m messing up this week. This is how I am not loving God.\u201d\u00a0 But once you do, it\u2019s like, literally, like lifting a weight off your back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-3: <\/strong>After every meeting, I felt like, \u201cI\u2019m going to go out there, and I\u2019m going to keep giving it my best and receiving grace.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-4: <\/strong>No; I could say something. Do you want to say something, Michael?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael: <\/strong>You can go ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Man-4: <\/strong>Okay. What I grew to appreciate a lot about The Roof Crashers was\u2014yes, we had a lot of similarities. We could get together out in the woods and just have a blast!\u00a0 But there were differences among us\u2014whether it was something I was going through\u2014and when I\u2019d share it with the group, they\u2019d be able to give me some insight, that hadn\u2019t even crossed my mind, on how I could be better at constructing my schedule or something so that I wasn\u2019t continually putting God by the wayside and getting distracted with homework, or school, or whatever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, sometimes, when they\u2019d be talking about what\u2019s going on in their life, they\u2019d say something that hadn\u2019t even occurred to me. Someone would mention how they\u2019ve just been challenged to start to memorize Scripture. I\u2019d think: \u201cWow!\u00a0 I haven\u2019t given any thought to memorizing Scripture in a long time.\u201d\u00a0 And we could say, \u201cOkay, do we want to try to memorize something this week as a group?\u201d\u00a0 And I remember, one time, we did some passages in Romans\u2014just about overcoming evil\u2014and that was a big encouragement to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>These guys that we just heard were teenagers. They formed their own group called The Roof Crashers. Explain why they called themselves that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, it was based on a story in Mark, Chapter 2, where a couple of guys took their paralytic friend up onto the roof of a house so he could see Jesus. They tore the roof open and lowered him down to Him. They were that committed to their friendship that they would do whatever it took to get him in front of Jesus so that Jesus could heal him. It was that kind of friendship that they wanted to bond in their group together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As parents, we need to be doing all we can to nurture, and facilitate, and put kindling around, and fertilizer around those kinds of friendships when we see them happening. Then, we also need to be working hard to disrupt the negative relationships when we see those happening. It\u2019s not easy to do because you send your son or daughter off to school\u2014and you don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on, or who they are hanging with, or what\u2019s happening there\u2014but there is real power for good or for evil in these relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara and I intercepted more than one relationship that we felt like might be borderline unhealthy with our sons or our daughters on more than one occasion. I mean, we had six kids. You\u2019re not going to be able to control all their friendships they have at school; but you\u2019ve got to monitor what\u2019s going on and who they are hanging out with. And if they are hanging with the wrong people, you need to make it next to impossible to get with them. Be shrewd \/ be smart and not make it a negative, but make it difficult for them to get together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s good, Dennis, to just encourage the parent: \u201cYou are the parent. You do have the right to make some of those tough calls and step in. Your kids need that because they don\u2019t have the wisdom to see that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Be courageous!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And sometimes, parenting does demand that we step up and be courageous in our kids\u2019 lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And part of what you guys talk about in Session 4, with young men and young women, is their relationships with members of the opposite sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s on their minds, and we want those relationships to look appropriate and healthy. So, that is addressed in this session. But you also have to deal with what young men and young women are questioning today; and that is, \u201cIf I\u2019m attracted to somebody of the same sex, what does that say about my identity?\u201d\u00a0 We used a fictionalized story here to illustrate what a lot of young people are facing today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Young Woman: <\/strong>Dear Journal, what a day!\u00a0 Lots happened!\u00a0 Let\u2019s see\u2014I dropped a cup of coffee at work in someone\u2019s lap, had a big misunderstanding with Mom \/ lost some more privileges, fought with Ashley\u2014she pretty much hates me now. Nothing is going right today!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd before that, Mr. Schmidt, my biology teacher, said something in class that we are free to choose who we like\u2014as in girls can like girls. He said it was natural. Then, Ella was talking about how her sister came out. I thought it was kind of weird, but then, like everyone got excited like it was really cool or whatever. I don\u2019t know what to think. I\u2019ve heard that some girls at school are experimenting with each other\u2014like practically everyone thinks it is okay; but is it? I don\u2019t know what to think. #Confused;\u00a0 #LongDay;\u00a0 #RealLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, no doubt that is real life. That\u2019s an excerpt from Session 4 of <em>Passport2Identity<\/em>. And from that point, we\u2019re able to guide a young person and a parent into exploring\u201d \u201cWhat does the Bible teach about our relationships\u2014or same-sex relationships?\u201d and \u201cWhy are there sexual boundaries around those relationships?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really does tee this up in what I think is a very appropriate way for a conversation to ensue because there may be sons and daughters who are experiencing same-sex attraction. We want them to be able to talk to their mom or their dad about that without shaming it; and yet, at the same time, we want to say, \u201cHere\u2019s how the Bible guides us, and here\u2019s the direction it points us.\u201d\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>We talked about just gender identity\u2014and what it is to be a woman, and what it is to be a man, and how there is so much confusion out there\u2014and now, there is confusion about who we should be attracted to. And teens, these days, need a safe place to talk through this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not with their peers who are telling them, \u201cIt is okay,\u201d but they need a safe place to be talking about this. Who better than their parent?\u2014to say \/ help them unpack what the Bible says about it, and then, unpack their emotions and what they are thinking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you, actually, in the travel journal for the young lady, would encourage a conversation with her mom about what she\u2019s struggling with: \u201cIs this a problem for her?\u201d\u2014 right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, for a lot of parents, they are feeling like this is not safe, but honestly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>It\u2019s a scary place to go!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. It really is, but this is what must happen. There needs to be these kinds of discussions that let the pressure off of the issue and bring it out of the dark and into the light. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>They are going to hear about \/ they are talking about it\u2014it\u2019s all around them. So, the question is: \u201cAre you going to engage on it from a biblical perspective?\u201d\u00a0 And we hope to provide that. We\u2019ve got a couple of different stories\u2014one from a woman who struggled with that \/ and then, one from a man who has struggled from same-sex attraction\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but who now view it from a biblical perspective. So, we present that in the audio. That tees you up to talk about it in a way that, hopefully, will be helpful for a young person to give them an island of truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re really right, John. And some parents, who are listening to us right now, are thinking: \u201cI need to determine what I believe. This is uncovering a weakness in my own understanding of Scripture.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut a second thing\u2014and I just want parents to think this through: \u201cAs you raise kids through adolescence, you are going to face some challenging moments, where you cannot allow your face to express the terror, the questions, the doubt, the shame, the absolute, maybe, anger at points of what your kids may share or where they may fail. What you\u2019ve got to do is\u2014you have to say, \u201cI\u2019ve got to be a shock-absorber for my daughter \/ for my son as they go through these perilous years, and hear their failures, and listen to them and their doubts, and shoulder their temptations with them so it really is a safe place.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s dangerous enough in the culture for them to be out there; but to be out there alone\u2014without their mom and dad knowing what\u2019s going on, and being engaged, and connecting with them\u2014that\u2019s the biggest danger of all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And to the parent, who would say, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t know what to do if my son or my daughter told me that they were experiencing same-sex attraction,\u201d I\u2019d just say back, \u201cIt\u2019s much better to have that out in the open and you not know what to do than it is for your son or your daughter to just be keeping it a secret.\u201d\u00a0 And you say, \u201cBecause I wouldn\u2019t know what to do, I don\u2019t want to hear it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; but it\u2019d be okay, at that point, to say: \u201cYou know, I just want you to know how proud I am of you feeling secure enough to express that. I\u2019d like to continue talking about that, going forward.\u201d\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean you have to have the answer right now, but you can go listen to some other <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> broadcasts that will help you and equip you to be able to have these discussions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; in fact, we\u2019re going to put a link up on our website to some of those programs that you might want to listen to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was having a conversation just recently with a mom and a dad, who are going through this very thing with their teenage son, who is same-sex attracted. They are looking for help and for answers. And we were able to provide them with some programs and some resources that they said were very helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, you\u2019ll find that when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, which is also where you\u2019ll find information about <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> for young men and for young women. We hope that you\u2019ll block out a couple of days, later this spring or this summer, when you and your son or you and your daughter can get away and have one of these <em>Passport2Identity<\/em> getaways. Do something fun together and listen to this content as you drive there and as you drive home. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information or to order the resource online; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should mention here\u2014if you have a preteen \/ somebody who is 9, 10, or 11\u2014plan the same kind of getaway with them \/ only, take them on a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> getaway. And you\u2019ll find information about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> on our website as well. So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, if you haven\u2019t downloaded the new FamilyLife app, check out your app store. Make sure you type in \u201cFamilyLife\u201d as one word. When you do that, the first thing that will show up in the app store is our new app. It\u2019s free, and it gives you access to FamilyLife content on the go. So, check it out in your app store; or go to FamilyLifeToday.com if you need more information on how to get the new FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We want to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d today to Pastors Clark and Dana Williams, who live in Mountain Home, Idaho. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Williams are celebrating 32 years of marriage today. They are regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. They listen on KBXL in Boise. They\u2019ve been to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> nine times, and they are Legacy Partners\u2014they help support this ministry. So, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Williams; and \u201cThank you for your ongoing support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it weren\u2019t for folks, like Clark and Dana\u2014who help make this radio program possible as they support this ministry \/ and we appreciate that financial support\u2014we couldn\u2019t do what we do if it weren\u2019t for folks like you. In fact, today, if you can help with a donation of any kind, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you Barbara Rainey\u2019s brand-new book, which is called <em>Letters to My Daughters: The Art of Being a Wife<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation online; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate and ask for a copy of the book; or request the book when you donate in writing. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about the mission \/ the assignment that God has for your son or for your daughter. One of our assignments, as parents, is to help our sons and daughters figure out what that assignment is, and then, get them launched \/ pointed in the right direction. We\u2019ll talk about how you do that tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSong:\u00a0\u00a0<em>Genuine<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist\/Album: Seeds Family Worship for Passport2Identity\u2122\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303964"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303964"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303964"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303964"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}