{"id":303946,"date":"2016-04-07T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-04-07T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-does-it-mean-to-honor-your-parents\/"},"modified":"2016-04-07T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-04-07T15:00:00","slug":"what-does-it-mean-to-honor-your-parents","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-does-it-mean-to-honor-your-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"What Does\u00a0It Mean to Honor Your Parents?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis Rainey recalls a few stories people have shared about the transformation that took place when they stepped out in faith to honor their parents.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-07.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"29.43M","filesize_raw":"30863116","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2825],"tags":[5986,5985,5987],"podcast_series":[8135],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303946","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-honoring-your-parents","tag-honor-your-father-and-mother","tag-honor-your-parents","tag-the-fifth-commandment","podcast_series-honor-your-father-and-mother","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303946\/what-does-it-mean-to-honor-your-parents","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303946\/what-does-it-mean-to-honor-your-parents","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BsnQegkX38\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-does-it-mean-to-honor-your-parents\/\">What Does\u00a0It Mean to Honor Your Parents?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-does-it-mean-to-honor-your-parents\/embed\/#?secret=BsnQegkX38\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What Does\u00a0It Mean to Honor Your Parents?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BsnQegkX38\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know the fifth of the Ten Commandments; right?\u2014the commandment about honoring father and mother. What should that look like for a child?\u00a0 What should that look like for an adult child?\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What does it mean to honor your father?\u00a0 Well, the Hebrew word means weight \/ heavy. It means to lay it on them\u2014not flattery\u2014but pile it on \/ put the praise, put the value, put the respect, the prestige, the worth, the value. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlato made the statement: \u201cWhat is honored in the land will be cultivated there.\u201d\u00a0 Do we honor our parents today?\u00a0 What do we honor today?\u2014Oscars, Emmys, records, touchdown passes, Super Bowls, Pulitzer Prizes \/ literature, Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe, some of you can create some awards here to elevate honor for fathers and mothers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When was the last time your mom or your dad felt truly honored by you?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to spend some time talking about that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We were doing a little reminiscing. I was talking about the first time I heard you share on the subject of honoring your parents\u2014right before I came here to work at FamilyLife\u2014as I was listening to a cassette tape; and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Some of our listeners have no idea what that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I was about to explain: \u201cThis is how we used to listen to things when\u2014before you were born\u201d; alright?\u00a0 But\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Maybe, you\u2019ll see one at a garage sale sometime. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but I was also thinking about the very first week we were on the air with <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> because one of the first messages that we shared was this message on honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the reason I remember that is because, as we were recording the first week of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we said: \u201cWe\u2019re going to air this message from Dennis on honoring your parents. People are going to wonder: \u2018How am I going to write a tribute?\u00a0 I need some help knowing how to write a tribute to my parents.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And we\u2019re going to hear more about that today in this message as you share it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is nothing in the Bible about writing a tribute\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There isn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but there is something in the Bible about honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And as you are about to hear in this message, I\u2019m about to describe what it means to honor another person, especially your parent. The word in the Hebrew language meant to lay it on them\u2014to lay the weight on them \/ to heap the praise on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just found, Bob\u2014that taking words that are said, and reducing them to writing, and putting them on paper, and putting a mat around it and a frame around it, and glass on it, and then, reading it to your parents or your parent is a powerful way to lay it on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t allow the words to be spoken the first time at their funeral. Say it now while they are alive \/ when they can hear them. It doesn\u2019t need to be flattery. It needs to be truthful, but we\u2019re not talking about honoring something that was evil or harmful to you. But I think we need to revisit this fifth commandment because I think it is a forgotten commandment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ll hear an example of a tribute that you wrote for your dad as we listen to Part Two of a message you shared recently about honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Over 20 years ago, I wrote a book called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>. It was, first of all, called <em>The Tribute<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was about honoring your parents and writing a tribute to your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would get notes back from radio listeners, saying: \u201cI got your book. It made me so angry that I threw your book across the room, and it landed like a teepee. So, that book was crying out to me for days as I went back and forth through the room. I\u2019d look over at it and disgustedly say something to the book,\u201d until that person picked it up, and decided to go ahead, and move toward honoring her father. In the process, forgave him and wrote a tribute. She wrote to say, \u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy don\u2019t we honor our parents?\u00a0 Because our hearts are far from God\u2019s heart, because we\u2019re angry, we\u2019re disappointed, we\u2019re punishing them. Oscar Wilde said this: \u201cChildren begin by loving their parents. After a time, they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOurs is an embittered culture. We\u2019re afraid\u2014if we do forgive them, that we\u2019ll have to love them, we\u2019ll have to care for them,\u00a0 or we\u2019ll get hurt again. We\u2019re afraid of being manipulated. We\u2019re afraid that somehow they may think we\u2019re honoring evil that they perpetrated. There are some evil parents\u2014make no mistake\u2014but I believe you can honor the office and even portions of what the person did right and not honor the evil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is this command called \u201cHonor your father and your mother\u201d?\u2014what does it mean to honor your father?\u00a0 Well, the Hebrew word means weight \/ heavy. It means to lay it on them\u2014not flattery\u2014but pile it on \/ put the praise, put the value, put the respect, the prestige, the worth, the value. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlato made the statement: \u201cWhat is honored in the land will be cultivated there.\u201d\u00a0 Do we honor our parents today?\u00a0 What do we honor today?\u2014Oscars, Emmys, records, touchdown passes, Super Bowls, Pulitzer Prizes \/ literature, Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe, some of you can create some awards here to elevate honor for fathers and mothers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad\u2019s death came early. Years later, I wrote a tribute about him. I\u2019ll not read all of it, but I want to read enough so that you can see that I determined that I was not going to be standing beside my mom\u2019s casket with not having said it \/ because I\u2019d not said this to my father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote this after his death, but it was cleansing to my soul. It\u2019s called \u201cA Tribute to Hook Rainey\u201d: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad\u2019s home!\u201d I used to yell as the backdoor slammed shut. Our small two-story frame house would shudder when the backdoor slammed shut. The sound of that slamming door was especially loud when one man came through that threshold\u2014my dad. I can recall, as a little boy playing in my room, and hearing that door send a series of quakes that rippled through the walls and rattling the windows. It was my dad\u2019s signature, and a signal that a day\u2019s work was completed, and that a real man was now home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would yell, \u201cDad\u2019s home!\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019d dash through the house into the kitchen to greet him with a well-deserved hug. I would, then, follow him like a little puppy to the washroom, where he washed his calloused, grimy hands like a real man. Everything about him signaled he was a real man\u2014from the gritty, Lava soap to the Vitalis hair tonic to Old Spice aftershave. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0My dad was a unique blend of no-nonsense and discipline with a subtle sense of humor. He was a quiet, private man\u2014a man of few words, who didn\u2019t seem to have many words to get the job done. His countenance commanded respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis you ought to know about my dad\u2014when he was a boy, he was deserted by his father. And his eight brothers and sisters\u2014he helped raise his brothers and sisters. He took care of his mom who lived to be over a hundred. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know where my dad learned how to be a man. He would be, today, a victim. But somehow, he communicated to me, as a boy, as he went out in the yard and played catch with me. And his nickname, Hook, came, not because he had a hook on his hand, but because he had a wicked curve ball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go on in my tribute\u2014I say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs an impressionable, young boy, my radar caught more of his life than he ever knew. He was the model and hero I needed during some perilous teenage years. And you know what?\u00a0 He still is. He taught me the importance of hard work and completing a task. I learned about lasting commitment from him. I never feared my parents would divorce. My dad was absolutely committed to my mom. I felt secure and protected; but most importantly, he taught me about character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe did what was right even when no one was looking. I never heard him talk about cheating on taxes. He paid them but didn\u2019t grumble. His integrity was impeccable. I never heard him lie, and his eyes always demanded the same truth in return. The mental snapshot of his character still fuels and energizes my life today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad\u2019s home!\u201d\u2014I can still hear the door slam and the house quake. This morning, as I write this, Dad truly is home in heaven. I look forward to seeing him again someday and saying, \u201cThanks,\u201d for the legacy he gave me; and mostly, for being my dad\u201d\u2014but right now, you\u2019ll have to pardon me\u2014I miss him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre your parents still living?\u00a0 Well, I\u2019d like to suggest a few gifts that you can give your parents\u2014but specifically, your father\u2014first of all, the gift of compassion \/ the gift of compassion. Colossians 3:12 says, \u201cAs those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.\u201d\u00a0 The Scripture commands us to take our fathers out of the courtroom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to drop the charges and to catch them doing something right. Begin to see them as people with needs and begin to see them as people who need you to step into their lives, as an adult, and now assume your adult responsibility as the Scriptures have said, \u201cTo honor your father and your mother that it may go well with you.\u201d\u00a0 Give them the gift of compassion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, give them the gift of understanding. Proverbs 24:3-4 says, \u201cBy wisdom, a house is built; by understanding it is established; and by knowledge, the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.\u201d Understanding comes from this Book\u2014from viewing life through God\u2019s perspective\u2014that\u2019s what wisdom is. Wisdom is godly skill in everyday living. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGodly skill in everyday living means we\u2019ve got to allow our parents to be human\u2014to be who they were \/ flawed people, who have their own chinks and dinks in their armor, who didn\u2019t do it all right all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know one father, who had to turn to his adult children and say to them: \u201cWill you let me out of the penalty box?!\u00a0 I feel like I\u2019m at a hockey game. Let me out of the penalty box!\u201d\u00a0 Is your dad in the penalty box?\u00a0 Understand the homes that they came from. What kind of father did he have \/ did she have?\u00a0 Begin to view them through God\u2019s eyes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter I wrote my tribute\u2014Barbara watched me go through the process\u2014she realized that she needed to write a tribute to her dad and her mom. She said, \u201cI\u2019m not sure how I can do that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe came from a Scandinavian family that was Norwegian\u2014very quiet \/ very private\u2014not a lot of hugs, especially from a father. It took her two years to pencil out, writing notes on pieces of paper as God reminded her; but finally, she gathered her mom and dad together. I kind of corralled the kids in a spot of the living room. She sat them down and had this magnificently framed document that she read them\u2014sobbing her way through it. After she did that, her relationship with her parents slowly began to change. And I\u2019m not sure if the change was in her, or the change in them, or both of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut somehow, honoring your parents says to them: \u201cI\u2019m an adult. I\u2019m assuming adult responsibility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m stepping out of childhood into something that is a peer in you. I will honor you. I will esteem you. I will value you.\u201d\u00a0 Give them the gift of understanding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThird gift: Give them the gift of forgiveness \/ the gift of forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32\u2014it\u2019s at the heart of the gospel; isn\u2019t it?\u2014forgiveness. Isn\u2019t our gospel a part of God\u2019s heart?\u00a0 It is His heart\u2014redeeming us. There are some relationships in this room with parents that need God\u2019s redemption. Amen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience: <\/strong>Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ephesians 4:32 says, \u201cBe kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you.\u201d\u00a0 How did God forgive us?\u00a0 Well, Romans 5 tells us: \u201c\u2026when we were enemies of God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur hearts weren\u2019t toward Him, but He pursued us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan we go after some people and love them, who may not be loving us in the way we always desire that they love us?\u00a0 Can we seek to be reconciled with what seems to be irreconcilable circumstances?\u00a0 I had a woman come to me, a number of years ago, who read the book\u2014didn\u2019t like it because she realized she needed to write a tribute to her parents. As she wrote the tribute, she realized that she had to move through this process of compassion\/understanding to move to forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she finally got it to say, \u201cForgiveness means you give up the right to punish the other person.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou release the punishment\u2014you don\u2019t hold onto it any longer. You let God take care of the evil that was done. You release the disappointment \/ the hurt and forgive. And she nailed it. She read the tribute; and she said, \u201cI thought\u2014as I was going through the process of writing a tribute\u2014that I was letting my parents out of jail \/ only to find out that I was the one who was in jail.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014our God is a disruptive, shrewd God. He really is. To put the fifth commandment right in there, where He did\u2014unmistakably, a priority in human relationships\u2014and to force us to do business with Him because to get to honor you\u2019ve got to go through forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t honor somebody that you are embittered toward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother woman told a story of how, when she was a little girl, her father was so abusive to her. As a teenage girl, she knew where her father kept his pistol. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ney: <\/strong>I can remember he had a gun in a drawer in his bedroom. I can remember going in there and pulling that drawer out. And behind some of his shirts there was this gun. I picked it up and I held it. I thought: \u201cI\u2019d like to just kill you. Then, our lives would be better.\u201d\u00a0 But there was <em>murder<\/em> in my heart for him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI gave my life to Christ when I was an adoption case worker in New Orleans. Through a series of events, a couple of years later\u2014joined the staff of Campus Crusade<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Then, I began to think about my father. I thought: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou know, I\u2019ve been waiting all these years for him to shape up, and stop drinking, and be nice; and then, I would love him.\u201d\u00a0 But it was as though God said to me:\u201cI love you, Ney, just like you are. I love your father just like he is. My love toward him is patient, and kind, and good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, tears streaming down my face, and to realize that, even though I was in Christian work, I didn\u2019t have God\u2019s love for my own father. And that was the beginning of God\u2019s work in my heart. My father never asked me to forgive him, but God asked that of me. So, I had already forgiven him; but I realized, as I looked back over my life, there were things that I had done that, certainly, hadn\u2019t been helpful to our relationship. And in the interest of pursuing peace, I wanted to remove all the barriers because there had been a time when I was sitting and looking, thinking about, \u201cWhat if I should go to my father\u2019s funeral, and I should look out and see that casket\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cwould I have any regrets?\u201d One of the regrets I would have had was I hadn\u2019t asked him to forgive me for those things that I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember thinking about\u2014that I wanted to write them a letter and tell them how I valued them. I wanted to write things that they contributed to my life. So, I kept a legal pad by my bed for about a week. I just wrote things down that I could appreciate. I heard later that, when they got that five-page letter, they sat down on the bed, and they cried. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany years later, when I got the word that my father had, indeed, died, and we went to the funeral, I can remember\u2014sitting there, and looking out at that casket, and thinking, \u201cI\u2019m so glad, as I sit here, I don\u2019t have any regrets.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m so glad that, when I didn\u2019t <em>feel<\/em> like it, I chose, with my will, to forgive him.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think we need to ask ourselves the question, \u201cIs my God bigger than my hurt, or am I going to let my hurt be bigger than my God?\u201d\u00a0 And someone has said, \u201cTo forgive is to set the prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d\u00a0 There was something about forgiving my father that set me free. There are a lot of things that are inexcusable, but there\u2019s not anything that\u2019s unforgivable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening to the second part of a message on honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve mentioned there have been people who have read your book, <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>, and have tossed it across the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you know, here is the thing about the book\u2014it\u2019s going to have\u2014I don\u2019t know, maybe, 20 different tributes in there that other people have written. I know a lot of listeners are thinking: \u201cI could never do that!\u00a0 I can\u2019t think of a positive memory.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 There are some lodged in there. Maybe, the Holy Spirit can dislodge some as you spend some time reading and reflecting on what other people said about their parents\u2014just to be reminded afresh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes; they weren\u2019t perfect. Yes; they made mistakes, but they were your parents. And God said, \u201cHonor your father and your mother that it may go well with you in the land which the LORD your God gives you.\u201d\u00a0 It is the first commandment with a promise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s a commandment that all of us would do well to stop and just ask the question: \u201cHow can I keep this commandment today?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow can I honor God by honoring my father and my mother?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage our listeners, Dennis, to get a copy of your book, <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>. You can order a copy from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEarly this week, I mentioned the fact that we are hoping this spring \/ this summer many of our listeners will consider hosting an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> special event\u2014a video event that you can host in your church or in your community\u2014or host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> small group and take five or six other couples through the small group material. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week and next week, if you will order <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event kit or the small group series kit, we have a marriage ministry pack of additional resources we\u2019d like to send to you. Find out more about the marriage ministry pack when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, or you can call 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it was back on this day in 1974 that Jimmy and Nancy Mullis from Georgia looked each other in the eye and said, \u201cI do.\u201d\u00a0 Jimmy and Nancy are celebrating their 42<sup>nd<\/sup> wedding anniversary today. We wanted to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d\u00a0 We are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. FamilyLife exists to provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family so that you will have many more anniversaries to come. And we want to thank those of you who partner with us in making this ministry happen. \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who support us financially. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s brand-new book, <em>Letters to My Daughters: The Art of Being a Wife<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book is yours when you go online to make a donation at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or when you mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to explore the gifts we can be giving our parents, including the gift of honor. Hope you can tune in tomorrow for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["29.43M"],"filesize_raw":["30863116"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303946.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303946.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Rainey recalls a few stories people have shared about the transformation that took place when they stepped out in faith to honor their parents.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-04-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know the fifth of the Ten Commandments; right?\u2014the commandment about honoring father and mother. What should that look like for a child?\u00a0 What should that look like for an adult child?\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What does it mean to honor your father?\u00a0 Well, the Hebrew word means weight \/ heavy. It means to lay it on them\u2014not flattery\u2014but pile it on \/ put the praise, put the value, put the respect, the prestige, the worth, the value. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlato made the statement: \u201cWhat is honored in the land will be cultivated there.\u201d\u00a0 Do we honor our parents today?\u00a0 What do we honor today?\u2014Oscars, Emmys, records, touchdown passes, Super Bowls, Pulitzer Prizes \/ literature, Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe, some of you can create some awards here to elevate honor for fathers and mothers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When was the last time your mom or your dad felt truly honored by you?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to spend some time talking about that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We were doing a little reminiscing. I was talking about the first time I heard you share on the subject of honoring your parents\u2014right before I came here to work at FamilyLife\u2014as I was listening to a cassette tape; and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Some of our listeners have no idea what that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I was about to explain: \u201cThis is how we used to listen to things when\u2014before you were born\u201d; alright?\u00a0 But\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Maybe, you\u2019ll see one at a garage sale sometime. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but I was also thinking about the very first week we were on the air with <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> because one of the first messages that we shared was this message on honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the reason I remember that is because, as we were recording the first week of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we said: \u201cWe\u2019re going to air this message from Dennis on honoring your parents. People are going to wonder: \u2018How am I going to write a tribute?\u00a0 I need some help knowing how to write a tribute to my parents.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And we\u2019re going to hear more about that today in this message as you share it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is nothing in the Bible about writing a tribute\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There isn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but there is something in the Bible about honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And as you are about to hear in this message, I\u2019m about to describe what it means to honor another person, especially your parent. The word in the Hebrew language meant to lay it on them\u2014to lay the weight on them \/ to heap the praise on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just found, Bob\u2014that taking words that are said, and reducing them to writing, and putting them on paper, and putting a mat around it and a frame around it, and glass on it, and then, reading it to your parents or your parent is a powerful way to lay it on them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t allow the words to be spoken the first time at their funeral. Say it now while they are alive \/ when they can hear them. It doesn\u2019t need to be flattery. It needs to be truthful, but we\u2019re not talking about honoring something that was evil or harmful to you. But I think we need to revisit this fifth commandment because I think it is a forgotten commandment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019ll hear an example of a tribute that you wrote for your dad as we listen to Part Two of a message you shared recently about honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Over 20 years ago, I wrote a book called <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>. It was, first of all, called <em>The Tribute<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was about honoring your parents and writing a tribute to your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would get notes back from radio listeners, saying: \u201cI got your book. It made me so angry that I threw your book across the room, and it landed like a teepee. So, that book was crying out to me for days as I went back and forth through the room. I\u2019d look over at it and disgustedly say something to the book,\u201d until that person picked it up, and decided to go ahead, and move toward honoring her father. In the process, forgave him and wrote a tribute. She wrote to say, \u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy don\u2019t we honor our parents?\u00a0 Because our hearts are far from God\u2019s heart, because we\u2019re angry, we\u2019re disappointed, we\u2019re punishing them. Oscar Wilde said this: \u201cChildren begin by loving their parents. After a time, they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOurs is an embittered culture. We\u2019re afraid\u2014if we do forgive them, that we\u2019ll have to love them, we\u2019ll have to care for them,\u00a0 or we\u2019ll get hurt again. We\u2019re afraid of being manipulated. We\u2019re afraid that somehow they may think we\u2019re honoring evil that they perpetrated. There are some evil parents\u2014make no mistake\u2014but I believe you can honor the office and even portions of what the person did right and not honor the evil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is this command called \u201cHonor your father and your mother\u201d?\u2014what does it mean to honor your father?\u00a0 Well, the Hebrew word means weight \/ heavy. It means to lay it on them\u2014not flattery\u2014but pile it on \/ put the praise, put the value, put the respect, the prestige, the worth, the value. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlato made the statement: \u201cWhat is honored in the land will be cultivated there.\u201d\u00a0 Do we honor our parents today?\u00a0 What do we honor today?\u2014Oscars, Emmys, records, touchdown passes, Super Bowls, Pulitzer Prizes \/ literature, Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe, some of you can create some awards here to elevate honor for fathers and mothers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad\u2019s death came early. Years later, I wrote a tribute about him. I\u2019ll not read all of it, but I want to read enough so that you can see that I determined that I was not going to be standing beside my mom\u2019s casket with not having said it \/ because I\u2019d not said this to my father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote this after his death, but it was cleansing to my soul. It\u2019s called \u201cA Tribute to Hook Rainey\u201d: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad\u2019s home!\u201d I used to yell as the backdoor slammed shut. Our small two-story frame house would shudder when the backdoor slammed shut. The sound of that slamming door was especially loud when one man came through that threshold\u2014my dad. I can recall, as a little boy playing in my room, and hearing that door send a series of quakes that rippled through the walls and rattling the windows. It was my dad\u2019s signature, and a signal that a day\u2019s work was completed, and that a real man was now home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would yell, \u201cDad\u2019s home!\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019d dash through the house into the kitchen to greet him with a well-deserved hug. I would, then, follow him like a little puppy to the washroom, where he washed his calloused, grimy hands like a real man. Everything about him signaled he was a real man\u2014from the gritty, Lava soap to the Vitalis hair tonic to Old Spice aftershave. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0My dad was a unique blend of no-nonsense and discipline with a subtle sense of humor. He was a quiet, private man\u2014a man of few words, who didn\u2019t seem to have many words to get the job done. His countenance commanded respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis you ought to know about my dad\u2014when he was a boy, he was deserted by his father. And his eight brothers and sisters\u2014he helped raise his brothers and sisters. He took care of his mom who lived to be over a hundred. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know where my dad learned how to be a man. He would be, today, a victim. But somehow, he communicated to me, as a boy, as he went out in the yard and played catch with me. And his nickname, Hook, came, not because he had a hook on his hand, but because he had a wicked curve ball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go on in my tribute\u2014I say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs an impressionable, young boy, my radar caught more of his life than he ever knew. He was the model and hero I needed during some perilous teenage years. And you know what?\u00a0 He still is. He taught me the importance of hard work and completing a task. I learned about lasting commitment from him. I never feared my parents would divorce. My dad was absolutely committed to my mom. I felt secure and protected; but most importantly, he taught me about character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe did what was right even when no one was looking. I never heard him talk about cheating on taxes. He paid them but didn\u2019t grumble. His integrity was impeccable. I never heard him lie, and his eyes always demanded the same truth in return. The mental snapshot of his character still fuels and energizes my life today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad\u2019s home!\u201d\u2014I can still hear the door slam and the house quake. This morning, as I write this, Dad truly is home in heaven. I look forward to seeing him again someday and saying, \u201cThanks,\u201d for the legacy he gave me; and mostly, for being my dad\u201d\u2014but right now, you\u2019ll have to pardon me\u2014I miss him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre your parents still living?\u00a0 Well, I\u2019d like to suggest a few gifts that you can give your parents\u2014but specifically, your father\u2014first of all, the gift of compassion \/ the gift of compassion. Colossians 3:12 says, \u201cAs those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.\u201d\u00a0 The Scripture commands us to take our fathers out of the courtroom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014to drop the charges and to catch them doing something right. Begin to see them as people with needs and begin to see them as people who need you to step into their lives, as an adult, and now assume your adult responsibility as the Scriptures have said, \u201cTo honor your father and your mother that it may go well with you.\u201d\u00a0 Give them the gift of compassion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, give them the gift of understanding. Proverbs 24:3-4 says, \u201cBy wisdom, a house is built; by understanding it is established; and by knowledge, the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.\u201d Understanding comes from this Book\u2014from viewing life through God\u2019s perspective\u2014that\u2019s what wisdom is. Wisdom is godly skill in everyday living. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGodly skill in everyday living means we\u2019ve got to allow our parents to be human\u2014to be who they were \/ flawed people, who have their own chinks and dinks in their armor, who didn\u2019t do it all right all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know one father, who had to turn to his adult children and say to them: \u201cWill you let me out of the penalty box?!\u00a0 I feel like I\u2019m at a hockey game. Let me out of the penalty box!\u201d\u00a0 Is your dad in the penalty box?\u00a0 Understand the homes that they came from. What kind of father did he have \/ did she have?\u00a0 Begin to view them through God\u2019s eyes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter I wrote my tribute\u2014Barbara watched me go through the process\u2014she realized that she needed to write a tribute to her dad and her mom. She said, \u201cI\u2019m not sure how I can do that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe came from a Scandinavian family that was Norwegian\u2014very quiet \/ very private\u2014not a lot of hugs, especially from a father. It took her two years to pencil out, writing notes on pieces of paper as God reminded her; but finally, she gathered her mom and dad together. I kind of corralled the kids in a spot of the living room. She sat them down and had this magnificently framed document that she read them\u2014sobbing her way through it. After she did that, her relationship with her parents slowly began to change. And I\u2019m not sure if the change was in her, or the change in them, or both of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut somehow, honoring your parents says to them: \u201cI\u2019m an adult. I\u2019m assuming adult responsibility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m stepping out of childhood into something that is a peer in you. I will honor you. I will esteem you. I will value you.\u201d\u00a0 Give them the gift of understanding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThird gift: Give them the gift of forgiveness \/ the gift of forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32\u2014it\u2019s at the heart of the gospel; isn\u2019t it?\u2014forgiveness. Isn\u2019t our gospel a part of God\u2019s heart?\u00a0 It is His heart\u2014redeeming us. There are some relationships in this room with parents that need God\u2019s redemption. Amen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Audience: <\/strong>Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ephesians 4:32 says, \u201cBe kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you.\u201d\u00a0 How did God forgive us?\u00a0 Well, Romans 5 tells us: \u201c\u2026when we were enemies of God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur hearts weren\u2019t toward Him, but He pursued us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan we go after some people and love them, who may not be loving us in the way we always desire that they love us?\u00a0 Can we seek to be reconciled with what seems to be irreconcilable circumstances?\u00a0 I had a woman come to me, a number of years ago, who read the book\u2014didn\u2019t like it because she realized she needed to write a tribute to her parents. As she wrote the tribute, she realized that she had to move through this process of compassion\/understanding to move to forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she finally got it to say, \u201cForgiveness means you give up the right to punish the other person.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou release the punishment\u2014you don\u2019t hold onto it any longer. You let God take care of the evil that was done. You release the disappointment \/ the hurt and forgive. And she nailed it. She read the tribute; and she said, \u201cI thought\u2014as I was going through the process of writing a tribute\u2014that I was letting my parents out of jail \/ only to find out that I was the one who was in jail.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014our God is a disruptive, shrewd God. He really is. To put the fifth commandment right in there, where He did\u2014unmistakably, a priority in human relationships\u2014and to force us to do business with Him because to get to honor you\u2019ve got to go through forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t honor somebody that you are embittered toward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother woman told a story of how, when she was a little girl, her father was so abusive to her. As a teenage girl, she knew where her father kept his pistol. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ney: <\/strong>I can remember he had a gun in a drawer in his bedroom. I can remember going in there and pulling that drawer out. And behind some of his shirts there was this gun. I picked it up and I held it. I thought: \u201cI\u2019d like to just kill you. Then, our lives would be better.\u201d\u00a0 But there was <em>murder<\/em> in my heart for him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI gave my life to Christ when I was an adoption case worker in New Orleans. Through a series of events, a couple of years later\u2014joined the staff of Campus Crusade<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Then, I began to think about my father. I thought: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou know, I\u2019ve been waiting all these years for him to shape up, and stop drinking, and be nice; and then, I would love him.\u201d\u00a0 But it was as though God said to me:\u201cI love you, Ney, just like you are. I love your father just like he is. My love toward him is patient, and kind, and good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, tears streaming down my face, and to realize that, even though I was in Christian work, I didn\u2019t have God\u2019s love for my own father. And that was the beginning of God\u2019s work in my heart. My father never asked me to forgive him, but God asked that of me. So, I had already forgiven him; but I realized, as I looked back over my life, there were things that I had done that, certainly, hadn\u2019t been helpful to our relationship. And in the interest of pursuing peace, I wanted to remove all the barriers because there had been a time when I was sitting and looking, thinking about, \u201cWhat if I should go to my father\u2019s funeral, and I should look out and see that casket\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cwould I have any regrets?\u201d One of the regrets I would have had was I hadn\u2019t asked him to forgive me for those things that I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember thinking about\u2014that I wanted to write them a letter and tell them how I valued them. I wanted to write things that they contributed to my life. So, I kept a legal pad by my bed for about a week. I just wrote things down that I could appreciate. I heard later that, when they got that five-page letter, they sat down on the bed, and they cried. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany years later, when I got the word that my father had, indeed, died, and we went to the funeral, I can remember\u2014sitting there, and looking out at that casket, and thinking, \u201cI\u2019m so glad, as I sit here, I don\u2019t have any regrets.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m so glad that, when I didn\u2019t <em>feel<\/em> like it, I chose, with my will, to forgive him.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think we need to ask ourselves the question, \u201cIs my God bigger than my hurt, or am I going to let my hurt be bigger than my God?\u201d\u00a0 And someone has said, \u201cTo forgive is to set the prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d\u00a0 There was something about forgiving my father that set me free. There are a lot of things that are inexcusable, but there\u2019s not anything that\u2019s unforgivable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening to the second part of a message on honoring your parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve mentioned there have been people who have read your book, <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>, and have tossed it across the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you know, here is the thing about the book\u2014it\u2019s going to have\u2014I don\u2019t know, maybe, 20 different tributes in there that other people have written. I know a lot of listeners are thinking: \u201cI could never do that!\u00a0 I can\u2019t think of a positive memory.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 There are some lodged in there. Maybe, the Holy Spirit can dislodge some as you spend some time reading and reflecting on what other people said about their parents\u2014just to be reminded afresh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes; they weren\u2019t perfect. Yes; they made mistakes, but they were your parents. And God said, \u201cHonor your father and your mother that it may go well with you in the land which the LORD your God gives you.\u201d\u00a0 It is the first commandment with a promise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s a commandment that all of us would do well to stop and just ask the question: \u201cHow can I keep this commandment today?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow can I honor God by honoring my father and my mother?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage our listeners, Dennis, to get a copy of your book, <em>The Forgotten Commandment<\/em>. You can order a copy from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEarly this week, I mentioned the fact that we are hoping this spring \/ this summer many of our listeners will consider hosting an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> special event\u2014a video event that you can host in your church or in your community\u2014or host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> small group and take five or six other couples through the small group material. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week and next week, if you will order <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event kit or the small group series kit, we have a marriage ministry pack of additional resources we\u2019d like to send to you. Find out more about the marriage ministry pack when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on information about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em>, or you can call 1-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it was back on this day in 1974 that Jimmy and Nancy Mullis from Georgia looked each other in the eye and said, \u201cI do.\u201d\u00a0 Jimmy and Nancy are celebrating their 42<sup>nd<\/sup> wedding anniversary today. We wanted to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d\u00a0 We are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries<sup>\u2122<\/sup>. FamilyLife exists to provide practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family so that you will have many more anniversaries to come. And we want to thank those of you who partner with us in making this ministry happen. \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who support us financially. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s brand-new book, <em>Letters to My Daughters: The Art of Being a Wife<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book is yours when you go online to make a donation at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY; or when you mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to explore the gifts we can be giving our parents, including the gift of honor. Hope you can tune in tomorrow for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303946","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303946"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303946"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303946"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303946"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303946"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303946"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303946"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}