{"id":303912,"date":"2016-03-16T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-16T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/not-just-one-conversation\/"},"modified":"2016-03-16T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-16T15:00:00","slug":"not-just-one-conversation","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/not-just-one-conversation\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Just One Conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Youth culture expert Jonathan McKee says that our youth really want to share their hearts, but parents need to ask the right questions, especially regarding the topic of sex.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-16.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.43M","filesize_raw":"24569869","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2835,2836,2815],"tags":[5971,5970,5972,5973,2321],"podcast_series":[8130],"cwp_profile":[3244],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303912","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-boys","category-raising-girls","category-sexual-wholeness","tag-birds-and-bees-talk","tag-birds-and-the-bees-talk","tag-sex-education-for-boys","tag-sex-education-for-kids","tag-sexual-purity","podcast_series-more-than-just-the-talk","cwp_profile-jonathan-mckee","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303912\/not-just-one-conversation","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303912\/not-just-one-conversation","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"PBgegMUTe5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/not-just-one-conversation\/\">Not Just One Conversation<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/not-just-one-conversation\/embed\/#?secret=PBgegMUTe5\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Not Just One Conversation&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"PBgegMUTe5\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-16.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-16.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you have teenagers, your son or your daughter has a lot of questions about sex. Where do you think they are getting the answers from?\u00a0 Here\u2019s author Jonathan McKee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I spoke to a bunch of teenagers a few weeks ago on the subject of <em>Sex<\/em> <em>Matters<\/em>. When I talked about this, the comment I kept getting from teenagers afterwards was: \u201cWhew!\u00a0 You just talked about it. I had questions, but nobody else will talk about this stuff. Thank you for talking about it.\u201d\u00a0 They were <em>grateful<\/em> that someone finally talked about it. To me, that\u2019s kind of, actually, sad because I think, \u201cMan, parents have got to be having these conversations.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you\u2019re the parent of a teenager, you ought to be having regular, ongoing conversations with your son or daughter about sex. So, when was the last time the uncomfortable subject came up at your house? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I always wonder how it\u2019s going to work out when we\u2019ve got a guest who is passionate about something that you\u2019re passionate about\u2014because it\u2019s always a question of, \u201cWho\u2019s going to get more mic time on the program?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We make the soapbox available for outside guests to come in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you, sometimes, yank it back away from them. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That is true too. We\u2019ve got a young man from Northern California\u2014Jonathan McKee joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome to the broadcast, Jonathan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Hey, thanks for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He is a youth pastor. In fact, he\u2019s been in youth work for more than two decades. He and his wife Lori and their three children live in the Sacramento area. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to start with your experience with young people. We talked a bit before we came in here in the studio\u2014I think parents are probably wondering, \u201cWhat do kids want to talk about today?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, what\u2019s taking place among the youth culture that parents need to know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. You know, it\u2019s funny\u2014young people, I think, all have something they want to talk about. That\u2019s the trick\u2014is finding out what it is that they want to talk about. Sometimes, it\u2019s plastered on the front of their shirt. Sometimes, it\u2019s flowing through the earbuds they\u2019ve got in their ears. The key is asking these good questions and asking them questions to find out a little bit about what\u2019s going on in their world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, you have to do some digging \/ sometimes, you have to peel back some layers. But most young people\u2014within about five minutes of asking good questions, you can literally get them to just start sharing their heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just sharing what they\u2019re <em>excited<\/em> about, whatever that is. And we, as parents\u2014we need to be good at asking these kinds of questions to discover some of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve written a couple of books around one topic they want to talk about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The first book was called <em>More Than Just \u201cThe Talk\u201d<\/em>\u2014and that\u2019s <em>Becoming Your Kids\u2019 Go-To Person About Sex<\/em>. Then, a second book that is a companion book\u2014called <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s a book about hot questions that kids want answers to today\u2014that you\u2019re finding a great opportunity for adults, especially parents, to talk to their kids about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely. And it\u2019s a topic that kids have <em>tons<\/em> of questions about and very often parents aren\u2019t talking about\u2014which, I mean, let\u2019s be honest\u2014it\u2019s an awkward subject. It\u2019s\u2014I mean, think about it\u2014we even always refer to it as <em>\u201c<\/em>TheTalk\u201d: \u201cHave you had \u2018TheTalk\u2019 yet?\u201d\u2014right?\u00a0 As if there\u2019s one talk you\u2019ve got to sit down and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014oh, man, everybody squirms \/ everybody is uncomfortable. \u201cHave you had \u2018<em>The Talk\u2019<\/em>?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, yes, it\u2019s one of those things where we <em>know<\/em> that young people are interested in it. We know they\u2019re <em>hearing<\/em> it from everybody else. The question is: \u201cAre <em>we<\/em> going to have a conversation where we can actually point them toward the truth on this subject?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not just <em>a<\/em> conversation. In fact, Dennis, I\u2019m sitting here thinking about the fact that, years ago, when we put together the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> weekend that our listeners have heard us talk about\u2014the getaway for a mom and a daughter or a dad and a son\u2014where they can talk about adolescence, and the fact that dating is around the corner, and sexual desire is around the corner. All of these things are headed your way for a son or a daughter. We recognized that that weekend shouldn\u2019t be the beginning of the conversation, and it definitely shouldn\u2019t be the end of the conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd really what Jonathan has found out is the same thing I found out in working with youth; and that is, really, the key players in this whole youth culture today are the parents. The parents have got to be in the game. They have to have the conversation when they\u2019re young about sex, they have to have the conversation when they are a little older about sex, and they have to have a conversation again as they go through adolescence <em>multiple<\/em> times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, Jonathan, in this day and age, we used to tell parents: \u201cMaybe, right before adolescence, when your child is 10 or 11\u2014maybe, 12\u2014you ought to have a concentrated time where you\u2019re focused on teaching them about sex.\u201d\u00a0 A lot of 10-, 11-, or 12-year-olds have already Google<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>d this and know a lot more than moms and dads think they know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, we live in a world where the average age of first exposure to pornography is 11 years old. We\u2019ve got kids in fourth and fifth grade hearing this kind of stuff at school \/ on their team sports. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why most of the research today is showing, \u201cDon\u2019t have <em>one<\/em> <em>talk<\/em>, but have ongoing conversations.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a matter of fact, <em>The Journal of Pediatrics<\/em> actually had a report where they talked about that. I think it was called \u201cBeyond the Big Talk\u201d [\u201cGetting Ready for the \u2018Big Talk\u2019 and Beyond\u201d].They recommended to parents, \u201cDon\u2019t just have <em>a<\/em> talk\u2014have ongoing conversations.\u201d\u00a0 They, actually, even told parents: \u201cAnd don\u2019t just talk about body changes and those kinds of things. Be very <em>explicit<\/em>,\u201d because they showed in their study\u2014the more explicit parents were, the more kids benefited from the conversations and they felt like, \u201cOh, I can talk to Mom or Dad about this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the challenge with all of that, though\u2014as parents, when you start having these explicit conversations with your child about sexuality, we refer to that as the end of innocence; you know?\u00a0 And who wants to destroy the innocence of an eight-year-old or a nine-year-old? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as parents, you kind of go, \u201cI don\u2019t want to have that talk because I want my sweet, little eight-year-old to just be a sweet little eight-year-old for years.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think a lot of parents, though, think that\u2014like the word, \u201cexplicit,\u201d for example\u2014let\u2019s look at what the word, \u201cexplicit\u201d\u2014the word, \u201cexplicit\u201d\u2014it actually just means very clear, precise, accurate. We always think of it as the naughty talk. No, that\u2019s not what we\u2019re talking about here. I mean, you open up the Bible\u2014the Bible starts with a naked guy in a garden. God looks down at this naked guy and says, \u201cWow, it\u2019s not good for man to be alone.\u201d\u00a0 So, what does God do?\u00a0 Poof\u2014naked woman: \u201cAlright! Now, we\u2019re cooking! This is good.\u201d\u00a0 Then\u2014and that\u2019s what God says: \u201cThis is good,\u201d \/ \u201cThis is good.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, he even says, \u201cGo forth and multiply.\u201d\u00a0 Adam probably looked up and was like: \u201cI\u2019m actually already on that. That\u2019s good. I\u2019m there.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is how the Bible starts: \u201cThis is a good thing.\u201d God looks down and says: \u201cMan, I created husband and wife. They can enjoy this <em>amazing<\/em> gift I\u2019ve given them\u2014this gift of sex.\u201d\u00a0 And when you look at\u2014I mean, this <em>amazing<\/em> gift He gave\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, the Bible is <em>unashamed<\/em> to talk about it. As a matter of fact, the Bible actually gives us all kinds of good stories of where people actually kind of went wrong. We kind of see some of the consequences that unveil from that. I think parents are <em>scared<\/em> and they think, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got to edit this.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you better edit your Bible because the Bible loves to talk about this wonderful gift of sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And talking with our kids about that\u2014we\u2019ve got to be careful. Don\u2019t make it the <em>naughty<\/em> thing. It\u2019s okay to talk about this <em>wonderful<\/em> gift and what it is. The fact is\u2014we are going to see a lot of lies out there. We need to teach our kids to start recognizing those lies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t agree more. In fact, I\u2019d want the parent to kind of revisit the concept of destroying their innocence by having the discussion. I think that\u2019s how parents feel; but I think the way that I\u2019d approach it is: \u201cThink about informing their innocence and informing them from the best-selling book in history\u2014the Bible. It talks about some of these matters in terms of wanting us to know how it works, but it also has warnings about what happens when we do it wrong.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And our children need to be informed, from a biblical perspective, as they face this issue\u2014starting in grade school, adolescence, and beyond. They have to understand it. In fact, if you look at the book of Proverbs\u2014I\u2019ve said many times\u2014it\u2019s in there. I mean, it\u2019s a warning for young men to avoid the seductive woman who wants to destroy a young man\u2019s soul. That\u2019s what you\u2019re really getting at as you empower parents to step into the lives of their kids and inform them what the biblical perspective of sex really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, and I\u2019ll tell you\u2014the Bible provides so many good nuggets to talk about this subject. Also\u2014now, our kid, who desperately is kind of looking for answers\u2014right now, the number-one place that young people go to for answers about sex is Google. What do you think they find there; you know?\u00a0 But for them to realize: \u201cI can talk to Dad about this. I can look to the Bible about this, and the Bible is giving me guidance\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cbecause, when I have these feelings, when I\u2019m walking through the mall and I see that Victoria\u2019s Secret poster\u2014I\u2019m having these feelings like there is something\u2014I <em>like<\/em> looking at that. Is that <em>wrong<\/em> for me to be attracted?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if we, as parents, can start having these conversations\u2014plural\u2014where we\u2019re talking about: \u201cHey, God created us so that someday, man\u2014when we find that special woman,\u201d \/ as we\u2019re talking with our son or \u201cthat special man,\u201d \/ as we\u2019re talking to our daughter\u2014\u201cit\u2019s going to be <em>amazing<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s where we can start to talk about what a special gift it is between two people. When we go <em>outside<\/em> of that\u2014when we have sneak peeks \/ when we actually say, \u201cOh, if it\u2019s so great with one person, maybe, it\u2019d be even better with more people,\u201d\u2014and we start talking about, \u201cWhat happens when you do that?\u201d and start looking at some of the consequences and \u201cMan\u2014that\u2019s not as good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You grew up in a Christian home. Your dad was a pastor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What about \u201cTheTalk\u201d?\u00a0 Could you have the\u201cThe Talk\u201d with your dad?\u00a0 Did it occur over multiple seasons in your life, as a young man growing up?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think that my experience was probably really similar to the experience you guys had and a lot of us had in Christian homes back then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I, as a young teenager, had so many questions that I didn\u2019t want to really\u2014I was a little scared to ask my dad. My dad was a <em>great<\/em> dad!\u00a0 But I mean, I didn\u2019t want to ask him about lust. I didn\u2019t want to ask about this because, one, I was afraid: \u201cWhat\u2019s he going to think of me if he knows I\u2019m having these thoughts \/ if I\u2019m struggling with this?\u201d\u00a0 So, yes\u2014no\u2014there was\u2014it was very much like \u201cTheTalk.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And frankly, that\u2019s what I would say to a dad or a mom, at that point, is: \u201cUnderstand that your children are as frightened about this as you are and are as uncomfortable as you are; but this is a subject we can\u2019t leave to the world to educate our children about. So, we have to have, not just \u2018TheTalk,\u2019 but we have to reengage numerous times as they grow up into adolescence because of the sheer number and the <em>volume<\/em> of messages that this culture is sending.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I found\u2014with a number of moms and dads I\u2019ve talked to, who have been on a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> weekend\u2014they get away with the same-sex child, and they pop the CD in there and listen to a talk that spawns all kinds of conversations at a level that I think, in this culture today, kids have to have with their parents because, frankly, they\u2019re not going to have this level of conversation with their youth pastor. The only group of people they\u2019re going to come anywhere near close to having that kind of conversation with is their peers, and that <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> who you want [them] talking to about this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. Yes; absolutely. It\u2019s one of those things where we can become, as the parent, that go-to person for this conversation. We prove ourselves when we don\u2019t freak out because that\u2019s what they assume, right away\u2014and they\u2019re going to go: \u201cOh, see, don\u2019t talk to Dad about this. Don\u2019t talk to Mom about this\u2014she\u2019s going to flip out.\u201d If we cannot freak out, but actually, buy time\u2014maybe say, \u201cHey, I need to think about this,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, as we approach them \/ actually have a dialogue\u2014well, so much, also, with these weekends or <em>any<\/em> conversation we have\u2014kids appreciate this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spoke to a bunch of teenagers a few weeks ago on this subject\u2014on the subject of <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. When I talked about this, the comment I kept getting from teenagers afterwards was: \u201cWhew!\u00a0 You just talked about it. I had questions, but nobody else will talk about this stuff. Thank you for talking about it.\u201d\u00a0 They were <em>grateful<\/em> that someone finally talked about it. To me, that\u2019s kind of actually sad because I think, \u201cMan, parents have got to be having these conversations; and we need to become that go-to person where our kids will come home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014I learned constantly through my mistakes. I just write it: \u201cWell, don\u2019t do that again,\u201d\u2014write that down \/ stuff like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was funny\u2014in this one moment of clarity, I\u2019ll never forget\u2014my fifth grader came home. She comes home \/ she throws her backpack on the ground, and she kind of walks in, as casual as ever: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad\u201d\u2014and she asked me about a very specific, explicit sex act. My wife was doing the dishes. She kind of looks up and stops. The room was just silent. I think you could hear a cricket in the background\u2014chirp\/chirp\u2014I mean, just total silence. My son was drinking milk out of the container, like he\u2019s not supposed to do. He\u2019s like [pfft sound] just like everything just stopped in the room. My wife just kind of looked at me like: \u201cYes, what are you going to say now; huh?\u00a0 How are you going to answer this one?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst thing\u2014I just\u2014by God\u2019s grace, I didn\u2019t flip out. I tried to buy more time. I was like: \u201cTell me <em>more<\/em> about why you are wondering this. Where\u2019d you hear this so I can better answer your question?\u201d\u2014you know?\u00a0 She was: \u201cOh, from Tyler. I heard it from Tyler.\u201d\u00a0 And all parents\u2014we all have a Tyler that our kids are friends with\u2014just a different name. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWho you\u2019re never going to hang out with again for the rest of your life!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Exactly. \u201cTyler!\u201d\u2014another opportunity to freak out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cPut the FBI on Tyler.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cTrail him!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>We all have a Tyler. The thing is, \u201cOh, okay.\u201d\u00a0 And so, I started fumbling about with this answer: \u201cWell, you know, we\u2019ve talked about intimate moments that mommies and daddies can have.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m literally\u2014and my son\u2019s like laughing \/ he\u2019s just <em>laughing<\/em> as I\u2019m trying to explain this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He\u2019s older. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Is that right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, he\u2019s clued into this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>She was fifth grade\u2014so he was ninth grade at the moment\u2014and he\u2019s just sitting there, just loving every minute of this; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019m sitting there, and I\u2019m like: \u201cAs you know, parents have these intimate moments together as we\u2019ve talked about.\u201d\u00a0 And I said, \u201cBut as you know, sometimes, people that aren\u2019t married also can be intimate with each other, even though that\u2019s not God\u2019s plan. So, some people will do that.\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cSo, have you and Mom done it?\u201d\u00a0 At this point, my wife just sets down what she\u2019s doing and just <em>walks<\/em> out of the room. She didn\u2019t even want to\u2014she\u2019s like: \u201cI don\u2019t even want to know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI just don\u2019t even want to be here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy son drops to the ground, laughing hysterically. That\u2019s why I started with: \u201cWell, Ashley, that\u2019s a funny question. Just so you know\u2014when a man and wife are intimate, we usually don\u2019t go around <em>bragging<\/em> about what we\u2019ve done\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIt\u2019s private.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand this kind of stuff.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; \u201cThis is one of those private things. It\u2019s not a shameful thing or whatever.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cBut as you know, you see Mommy and I kissing and\u201d\u2014and literally, when I said\u2014she holds her hand up and says: \u201cOkay; okay\u2014enough. That\u2019s all I wanted to know. That\u2019s it.\u201d\u00a0 She was just like, \u201cThat\u2019s it.\u201d\u00a0 The hand\u2014I got the hand immediately. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the funny thing for me \/ the sobering thing was\u2014this was one of those moments, where you know my wife and I go back later\u2014like: \u201cWow!\u00a0 <em>Fifth<\/em> <em>grade<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m being asked.\u201d\u00a0 But I look back at that and say, \u201cI\u2019m <em>so<\/em> glad that my fifth grader was comfortable enough to come and say, \u2018Hey,\u2019\u201d\u2014and she knew the category this question was under\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>\u2014and she was comfortable enough to <em>ask<\/em> this question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast-forward to now\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014senior in high school \/ going off to college\u2014her senior year just this past year\u2014she\u2019s got a bunch of friends over at the house. They\u2019re talking, and the friends\u2014somehow the subject of sex comes up. I\u2019m in the room; and she even says: \u201cOh, ask my dad. He\u2019s the one who just wrote the book, <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. He\u2019s the sex expert.\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know if I liked being categorized as that. I\u2019ve had three kids\u2014I guess I know something about it; but she goes, \u201cYes; ask him.\u201d\u00a0 All of a sudden, I am being asked questions\u2014I\u2019ve got this room full of teenagers, and they\u2019re all asking me questions about this and that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting because, as I\u2019m having these conversations\u2014one, I couldn\u2019t believe what these kids didn\u2019t know because they\u2019ve heard the lies about\u2014they\u2019re like, \u201cIs it wrong?\u201d\u00a0 And I would just come back with\u2014again, buying time with another question like: \u201cWell, what\u2019s the Bible say?\u00a0 What\u2019s the Bible say?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, where does\u2026\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s probably wrong!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, does the Bible say that?\u00a0 Where does it say that?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d And these were, by the way, all kids from a Christian school, who all have Bible-classes kind of stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut again, I was excited that, not only did my daughter, but that these kids actually felt like: \u201cHere\u2019s a safe place we can talk. We can get some of these answers.\u201d\u00a0 And we started having these conversations about, literally, what the Bible says about sex. And I think we, as parents, constantly need to look for these opportunities, where we can dialogue about truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re describing being a safe person and a parent. This is something\u2014as a parent \/ as a mom and a dad\u2014you have to work to, not only attain, but to maintain with your child where you really have to be very careful about freaking out. I mean, when you hear something or you\u2019re shocked by something, you\u2019ve got to bite your lip. You\u2019ve got to somehow have an out-of-body experience\u2014[Laughter]\u2014ask God \/ to say, \u201cLord God, give me the right response here,\u201d because, as you raise teenagers today, these moments will happen. It may not be the same topic, but it\u2014there will be some topics that will cause you to want to go outside and scream, where you go, \u201cI\u2019m not believing my little girl \/ my little boy just asked me this!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, increasingly, there are going to be categories and topics because the culture has increasingly expanded the vocabulary and the dialogue on this subject. So, don\u2019t be surprised if your fifth grader is asking questions that are way out there. I think a lot of moms and dads think: \u201cIf I got asked that question\u2014whatever the category is\u2014I wouldn\u2019t know what to say!\u00a0 I mean, I can say, \u2018What does the Bible say?\u2019\u00a0 If my child says, \u2018I don\u2019t know. Show me!\u2019 I\u2019d go, \u2018I don\u2019t know either!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This is when you need a youth expert\u2014someone who has spent a lot of hours with a bunch of young people, where he\u2019s put all the questions in a book called <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. And I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014there are a lot of questions in here. It\u2019s like: \u201cWell, you\u2019ve tackled some tough ones; but this has to be talked about, and it has to be talked about by moms and dads with their kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe\u2019ve got to be able to do this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, your other book, <em>More Than Just \u201cThe Talk\u201d<\/em>\u2014this gives parents a game plan to approach this subject as they raise their kids. This is a subject you have to be on the offensive about. You\u2019re going to play defense sometimes because\u2014just like you did\u2014you bought some time to find out: \u201cWhat exactly is the question about here? Where\u2019d she hear this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut these are days when a parent does need to be ahead of the kids in knowing what questions are out there. And we\u2019re not talking about kids that are in secular schools \/ we\u2019re talking about kids that are growing up in the church because that\u2019s who you\u2019ve worked with for the past two decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of these books is aimed at parents\u2014that\u2019s the book, <em>More Than Just \u201cThe Talk\u201d: Becoming Your Kids\u2019 Go-To Person About Sex<\/em>. And then, the other book, <em>Sex Matters<\/em>, is written for teenagers. We\u2019ve got both of these books in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur listeners can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order either or both of the books. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Let me just say\u2014we have a resource that parents have been using for years now called <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> that is designed to help a mom or a dad have a conversation with a preteen and begin to open the dialogue on this subject before the hormones hit. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get your copy of <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>. If you have a son or daughter, who is in that age group, plan to have a couple of days when you can get away together and begin this kind of a conversation, using the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> resource. Again, there is information, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>. We\u2019ll answer any questions you might have about that resource. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just mention\u2014next month, we have a brand-new resource that is coming out called <em>Passport2Identity\u2122<\/em>. This is another getaway time, where you can talk about issues related to your identity because every teenager is asking: \u201cWho am I? What am I good at? How do I define myself?\u201d\u00a0 This helps you have conversation around that subject with your son or daughter. That\u2019s going to be released next month. So, we\u2019ll be talking more about that, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to say, \u201cHappy Anniversary!\u201d to our friends, Jimmie and Ida Carpenter, who live in Glenwood, Illinois. They have been married 36 years today. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Carpenters. They listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in Chicago on WNBI, and we\u2019re glad that you tune in and hope you have a great anniversary celebration. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all about anniversaries, here at FamilyLife. We want to help couples have more and more. You guys make that possible as you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We appreciate all of you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014who are Legacy Partners or those of you who are occasional contributors to this ministry\u2014your financial support is what makes all of this happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we would love to help your anniversary this year be the best anniversary ever. If you\u2019ll go online and give us your anniversary date or call and let us know what day is your anniversary, then, in the month beforehand, we\u2019ll send you some tips and ideas on how your anniversary celebration can be the best one ever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re able to help us with a donation this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of a book called <em>Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family: Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles<\/em>. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you support the ministry, and we do appreciate your partnership with us. You can make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Make sure to mention you\u2019d like a copy of the book on parenting when you do that. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how you promote healthy human sexuality with your teenager in an age where the internet is offering them all kinds of options. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. Hope you can join us back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.43M"],"filesize_raw":["24569869"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303912.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303912.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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culture expert Jonathan McKee says that our youth really want to share their hearts, but parents need to ask the right questions, especially regarding the topic of sex.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you have teenagers, your son or your daughter has a lot of questions about sex. Where do you think they are getting the answers from?\u00a0 Here\u2019s author Jonathan McKee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I spoke to a bunch of teenagers a few weeks ago on the subject of <em>Sex<\/em> <em>Matters<\/em>. When I talked about this, the comment I kept getting from teenagers afterwards was: \u201cWhew!\u00a0 You just talked about it. I had questions, but nobody else will talk about this stuff. Thank you for talking about it.\u201d\u00a0 They were <em>grateful<\/em> that someone finally talked about it. To me, that\u2019s kind of, actually, sad because I think, \u201cMan, parents have got to be having these conversations.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you\u2019re the parent of a teenager, you ought to be having regular, ongoing conversations with your son or daughter about sex. So, when was the last time the uncomfortable subject came up at your house? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I always wonder how it\u2019s going to work out when we\u2019ve got a guest who is passionate about something that you\u2019re passionate about\u2014because it\u2019s always a question of, \u201cWho\u2019s going to get more mic time on the program?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We make the soapbox available for outside guests to come in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you, sometimes, yank it back away from them. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That is true too. We\u2019ve got a young man from Northern California\u2014Jonathan McKee joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome to the broadcast, Jonathan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Hey, thanks for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He is a youth pastor. In fact, he\u2019s been in youth work for more than two decades. He and his wife Lori and their three children live in the Sacramento area. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to start with your experience with young people. We talked a bit before we came in here in the studio\u2014I think parents are probably wondering, \u201cWhat do kids want to talk about today?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, what\u2019s taking place among the youth culture that parents need to know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. You know, it\u2019s funny\u2014young people, I think, all have something they want to talk about. That\u2019s the trick\u2014is finding out what it is that they want to talk about. Sometimes, it\u2019s plastered on the front of their shirt. Sometimes, it\u2019s flowing through the earbuds they\u2019ve got in their ears. The key is asking these good questions and asking them questions to find out a little bit about what\u2019s going on in their world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, you have to do some digging \/ sometimes, you have to peel back some layers. But most young people\u2014within about five minutes of asking good questions, you can literally get them to just start sharing their heart\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just sharing what they\u2019re <em>excited<\/em> about, whatever that is. And we, as parents\u2014we need to be good at asking these kinds of questions to discover some of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve written a couple of books around one topic they want to talk about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The first book was called <em>More Than Just \u201cThe Talk\u201d<\/em>\u2014and that\u2019s <em>Becoming Your Kids\u2019 Go-To Person About Sex<\/em>. Then, a second book that is a companion book\u2014called <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s a book about hot questions that kids want answers to today\u2014that you\u2019re finding a great opportunity for adults, especially parents, to talk to their kids about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely. And it\u2019s a topic that kids have <em>tons<\/em> of questions about and very often parents aren\u2019t talking about\u2014which, I mean, let\u2019s be honest\u2014it\u2019s an awkward subject. It\u2019s\u2014I mean, think about it\u2014we even always refer to it as <em>\u201c<\/em>TheTalk\u201d: \u201cHave you had \u2018TheTalk\u2019 yet?\u201d\u2014right?\u00a0 As if there\u2019s one talk you\u2019ve got to sit down and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014oh, man, everybody squirms \/ everybody is uncomfortable. \u201cHave you had \u2018<em>The Talk\u2019<\/em>?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, yes, it\u2019s one of those things where we <em>know<\/em> that young people are interested in it. We know they\u2019re <em>hearing<\/em> it from everybody else. The question is: \u201cAre <em>we<\/em> going to have a conversation where we can actually point them toward the truth on this subject?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it\u2019s not just <em>a<\/em> conversation. In fact, Dennis, I\u2019m sitting here thinking about the fact that, years ago, when we put together the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> weekend that our listeners have heard us talk about\u2014the getaway for a mom and a daughter or a dad and a son\u2014where they can talk about adolescence, and the fact that dating is around the corner, and sexual desire is around the corner. All of these things are headed your way for a son or a daughter. We recognized that that weekend shouldn\u2019t be the beginning of the conversation, and it definitely shouldn\u2019t be the end of the conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd really what Jonathan has found out is the same thing I found out in working with youth; and that is, really, the key players in this whole youth culture today are the parents. The parents have got to be in the game. They have to have the conversation when they\u2019re young about sex, they have to have the conversation when they are a little older about sex, and they have to have a conversation again as they go through adolescence <em>multiple<\/em> times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, Jonathan, in this day and age, we used to tell parents: \u201cMaybe, right before adolescence, when your child is 10 or 11\u2014maybe, 12\u2014you ought to have a concentrated time where you\u2019re focused on teaching them about sex.\u201d\u00a0 A lot of 10-, 11-, or 12-year-olds have already Google<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>d this and know a lot more than moms and dads think they know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, we live in a world where the average age of first exposure to pornography is 11 years old. We\u2019ve got kids in fourth and fifth grade hearing this kind of stuff at school \/ on their team sports. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why most of the research today is showing, \u201cDon\u2019t have <em>one<\/em> <em>talk<\/em>, but have ongoing conversations.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a matter of fact, <em>The Journal of Pediatrics<\/em> actually had a report where they talked about that. I think it was called \u201cBeyond the Big Talk\u201d [\u201cGetting Ready for the \u2018Big Talk\u2019 and Beyond\u201d].They recommended to parents, \u201cDon\u2019t just have <em>a<\/em> talk\u2014have ongoing conversations.\u201d\u00a0 They, actually, even told parents: \u201cAnd don\u2019t just talk about body changes and those kinds of things. Be very <em>explicit<\/em>,\u201d because they showed in their study\u2014the more explicit parents were, the more kids benefited from the conversations and they felt like, \u201cOh, I can talk to Mom or Dad about this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the challenge with all of that, though\u2014as parents, when you start having these explicit conversations with your child about sexuality, we refer to that as the end of innocence; you know?\u00a0 And who wants to destroy the innocence of an eight-year-old or a nine-year-old? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as parents, you kind of go, \u201cI don\u2019t want to have that talk because I want my sweet, little eight-year-old to just be a sweet little eight-year-old for years.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think a lot of parents, though, think that\u2014like the word, \u201cexplicit,\u201d for example\u2014let\u2019s look at what the word, \u201cexplicit\u201d\u2014the word, \u201cexplicit\u201d\u2014it actually just means very clear, precise, accurate. We always think of it as the naughty talk. No, that\u2019s not what we\u2019re talking about here. I mean, you open up the Bible\u2014the Bible starts with a naked guy in a garden. God looks down at this naked guy and says, \u201cWow, it\u2019s not good for man to be alone.\u201d\u00a0 So, what does God do?\u00a0 Poof\u2014naked woman: \u201cAlright! Now, we\u2019re cooking! This is good.\u201d\u00a0 Then\u2014and that\u2019s what God says: \u201cThis is good,\u201d \/ \u201cThis is good.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, he even says, \u201cGo forth and multiply.\u201d\u00a0 Adam probably looked up and was like: \u201cI\u2019m actually already on that. That\u2019s good. I\u2019m there.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is how the Bible starts: \u201cThis is a good thing.\u201d God looks down and says: \u201cMan, I created husband and wife. They can enjoy this <em>amazing<\/em> gift I\u2019ve given them\u2014this gift of sex.\u201d\u00a0 And when you look at\u2014I mean, this <em>amazing<\/em> gift He gave\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, the Bible is <em>unashamed<\/em> to talk about it. As a matter of fact, the Bible actually gives us all kinds of good stories of where people actually kind of went wrong. We kind of see some of the consequences that unveil from that. I think parents are <em>scared<\/em> and they think, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got to edit this.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you better edit your Bible because the Bible loves to talk about this wonderful gift of sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And talking with our kids about that\u2014we\u2019ve got to be careful. Don\u2019t make it the <em>naughty<\/em> thing. It\u2019s okay to talk about this <em>wonderful<\/em> gift and what it is. The fact is\u2014we are going to see a lot of lies out there. We need to teach our kids to start recognizing those lies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t agree more. In fact, I\u2019d want the parent to kind of revisit the concept of destroying their innocence by having the discussion. I think that\u2019s how parents feel; but I think the way that I\u2019d approach it is: \u201cThink about informing their innocence and informing them from the best-selling book in history\u2014the Bible. It talks about some of these matters in terms of wanting us to know how it works, but it also has warnings about what happens when we do it wrong.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And our children need to be informed, from a biblical perspective, as they face this issue\u2014starting in grade school, adolescence, and beyond. They have to understand it. In fact, if you look at the book of Proverbs\u2014I\u2019ve said many times\u2014it\u2019s in there. I mean, it\u2019s a warning for young men to avoid the seductive woman who wants to destroy a young man\u2019s soul. That\u2019s what you\u2019re really getting at as you empower parents to step into the lives of their kids and inform them what the biblical perspective of sex really is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Well, and I\u2019ll tell you\u2014the Bible provides so many good nuggets to talk about this subject. Also\u2014now, our kid, who desperately is kind of looking for answers\u2014right now, the number-one place that young people go to for answers about sex is Google. What do you think they find there; you know?\u00a0 But for them to realize: \u201cI can talk to Dad about this. I can look to the Bible about this, and the Bible is giving me guidance\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cbecause, when I have these feelings, when I\u2019m walking through the mall and I see that Victoria\u2019s Secret poster\u2014I\u2019m having these feelings like there is something\u2014I <em>like<\/em> looking at that. Is that <em>wrong<\/em> for me to be attracted?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if we, as parents, can start having these conversations\u2014plural\u2014where we\u2019re talking about: \u201cHey, God created us so that someday, man\u2014when we find that special woman,\u201d \/ as we\u2019re talking with our son or \u201cthat special man,\u201d \/ as we\u2019re talking to our daughter\u2014\u201cit\u2019s going to be <em>amazing<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s where we can start to talk about what a special gift it is between two people. When we go <em>outside<\/em> of that\u2014when we have sneak peeks \/ when we actually say, \u201cOh, if it\u2019s so great with one person, maybe, it\u2019d be even better with more people,\u201d\u2014and we start talking about, \u201cWhat happens when you do that?\u201d and start looking at some of the consequences and \u201cMan\u2014that\u2019s not as good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You grew up in a Christian home. Your dad was a pastor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What about \u201cTheTalk\u201d?\u00a0 Could you have the\u201cThe Talk\u201d with your dad?\u00a0 Did it occur over multiple seasons in your life, as a young man growing up?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>I think that my experience was probably really similar to the experience you guys had and a lot of us had in Christian homes back then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I, as a young teenager, had so many questions that I didn\u2019t want to really\u2014I was a little scared to ask my dad. My dad was a <em>great<\/em> dad!\u00a0 But I mean, I didn\u2019t want to ask him about lust. I didn\u2019t want to ask about this because, one, I was afraid: \u201cWhat\u2019s he going to think of me if he knows I\u2019m having these thoughts \/ if I\u2019m struggling with this?\u201d\u00a0 So, yes\u2014no\u2014there was\u2014it was very much like \u201cTheTalk.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And frankly, that\u2019s what I would say to a dad or a mom, at that point, is: \u201cUnderstand that your children are as frightened about this as you are and are as uncomfortable as you are; but this is a subject we can\u2019t leave to the world to educate our children about. So, we have to have, not just \u2018TheTalk,\u2019 but we have to reengage numerous times as they grow up into adolescence because of the sheer number and the <em>volume<\/em> of messages that this culture is sending.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I found\u2014with a number of moms and dads I\u2019ve talked to, who have been on a <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> weekend\u2014they get away with the same-sex child, and they pop the CD in there and listen to a talk that spawns all kinds of conversations at a level that I think, in this culture today, kids have to have with their parents because, frankly, they\u2019re not going to have this level of conversation with their youth pastor. The only group of people they\u2019re going to come anywhere near close to having that kind of conversation with is their peers, and that <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> who you want [them] talking to about this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes. Yes; absolutely. It\u2019s one of those things where we can become, as the parent, that go-to person for this conversation. We prove ourselves when we don\u2019t freak out because that\u2019s what they assume, right away\u2014and they\u2019re going to go: \u201cOh, see, don\u2019t talk to Dad about this. Don\u2019t talk to Mom about this\u2014she\u2019s going to flip out.\u201d If we cannot freak out, but actually, buy time\u2014maybe say, \u201cHey, I need to think about this,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014then, as we approach them \/ actually have a dialogue\u2014well, so much, also, with these weekends or <em>any<\/em> conversation we have\u2014kids appreciate this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spoke to a bunch of teenagers a few weeks ago on this subject\u2014on the subject of <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. When I talked about this, the comment I kept getting from teenagers afterwards was: \u201cWhew!\u00a0 You just talked about it. I had questions, but nobody else will talk about this stuff. Thank you for talking about it.\u201d\u00a0 They were <em>grateful<\/em> that someone finally talked about it. To me, that\u2019s kind of actually sad because I think, \u201cMan, parents have got to be having these conversations; and we need to become that go-to person where our kids will come home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014I learned constantly through my mistakes. I just write it: \u201cWell, don\u2019t do that again,\u201d\u2014write that down \/ stuff like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was funny\u2014in this one moment of clarity, I\u2019ll never forget\u2014my fifth grader came home. She comes home \/ she throws her backpack on the ground, and she kind of walks in, as casual as ever: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDad\u201d\u2014and she asked me about a very specific, explicit sex act. My wife was doing the dishes. She kind of looks up and stops. The room was just silent. I think you could hear a cricket in the background\u2014chirp\/chirp\u2014I mean, just total silence. My son was drinking milk out of the container, like he\u2019s not supposed to do. He\u2019s like [pfft sound] just like everything just stopped in the room. My wife just kind of looked at me like: \u201cYes, what are you going to say now; huh?\u00a0 How are you going to answer this one?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst thing\u2014I just\u2014by God\u2019s grace, I didn\u2019t flip out. I tried to buy more time. I was like: \u201cTell me <em>more<\/em> about why you are wondering this. Where\u2019d you hear this so I can better answer your question?\u201d\u2014you know?\u00a0 She was: \u201cOh, from Tyler. I heard it from Tyler.\u201d\u00a0 And all parents\u2014we all have a Tyler that our kids are friends with\u2014just a different name. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWho you\u2019re never going to hang out with again for the rest of your life!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Exactly. \u201cTyler!\u201d\u2014another opportunity to freak out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cPut the FBI on Tyler.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cTrail him!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>We all have a Tyler. The thing is, \u201cOh, okay.\u201d\u00a0 And so, I started fumbling about with this answer: \u201cWell, you know, we\u2019ve talked about intimate moments that mommies and daddies can have.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m literally\u2014and my son\u2019s like laughing \/ he\u2019s just <em>laughing<\/em> as I\u2019m trying to explain this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He\u2019s older. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Is that right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, he\u2019s clued into this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>She was fifth grade\u2014so he was ninth grade at the moment\u2014and he\u2019s just sitting there, just loving every minute of this; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019m sitting there, and I\u2019m like: \u201cAs you know, parents have these intimate moments together as we\u2019ve talked about.\u201d\u00a0 And I said, \u201cBut as you know, sometimes, people that aren\u2019t married also can be intimate with each other, even though that\u2019s not God\u2019s plan. So, some people will do that.\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cSo, have you and Mom done it?\u201d\u00a0 At this point, my wife just sets down what she\u2019s doing and just <em>walks<\/em> out of the room. She didn\u2019t even want to\u2014she\u2019s like: \u201cI don\u2019t even want to know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI just don\u2019t even want to be here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy son drops to the ground, laughing hysterically. That\u2019s why I started with: \u201cWell, Ashley, that\u2019s a funny question. Just so you know\u2014when a man and wife are intimate, we usually don\u2019t go around <em>bragging<\/em> about what we\u2019ve done\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIt\u2019s private.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand this kind of stuff.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>Yes; \u201cThis is one of those private things. It\u2019s not a shameful thing or whatever.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cBut as you know, you see Mommy and I kissing and\u201d\u2014and literally, when I said\u2014she holds her hand up and says: \u201cOkay; okay\u2014enough. That\u2019s all I wanted to know. That\u2019s it.\u201d\u00a0 She was just like, \u201cThat\u2019s it.\u201d\u00a0 The hand\u2014I got the hand immediately. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the funny thing for me \/ the sobering thing was\u2014this was one of those moments, where you know my wife and I go back later\u2014like: \u201cWow!\u00a0 <em>Fifth<\/em> <em>grade<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m being asked.\u201d\u00a0 But I look back at that and say, \u201cI\u2019m <em>so<\/em> glad that my fifth grader was comfortable enough to come and say, \u2018Hey,\u2019\u201d\u2014and she knew the category this question was under\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jonathan: <\/strong>\u2014and she was comfortable enough to <em>ask<\/em> this question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast-forward to now\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014senior in high school \/ going off to college\u2014her senior year just this past year\u2014she\u2019s got a bunch of friends over at the house. They\u2019re talking, and the friends\u2014somehow the subject of sex comes up. I\u2019m in the room; and she even says: \u201cOh, ask my dad. He\u2019s the one who just wrote the book, <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. He\u2019s the sex expert.\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know if I liked being categorized as that. I\u2019ve had three kids\u2014I guess I know something about it; but she goes, \u201cYes; ask him.\u201d\u00a0 All of a sudden, I am being asked questions\u2014I\u2019ve got this room full of teenagers, and they\u2019re all asking me questions about this and that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting because, as I\u2019m having these conversations\u2014one, I couldn\u2019t believe what these kids didn\u2019t know because they\u2019ve heard the lies about\u2014they\u2019re like, \u201cIs it wrong?\u201d\u00a0 And I would just come back with\u2014again, buying time with another question like: \u201cWell, what\u2019s the Bible say?\u00a0 What\u2019s the Bible say?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, where does\u2026\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s probably wrong!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, does the Bible say that?\u00a0 Where does it say that?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d And these were, by the way, all kids from a Christian school, who all have Bible-classes kind of stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut again, I was excited that, not only did my daughter, but that these kids actually felt like: \u201cHere\u2019s a safe place we can talk. We can get some of these answers.\u201d\u00a0 And we started having these conversations about, literally, what the Bible says about sex. And I think we, as parents, constantly need to look for these opportunities, where we can dialogue about truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re describing being a safe person and a parent. This is something\u2014as a parent \/ as a mom and a dad\u2014you have to work to, not only attain, but to maintain with your child where you really have to be very careful about freaking out. I mean, when you hear something or you\u2019re shocked by something, you\u2019ve got to bite your lip. You\u2019ve got to somehow have an out-of-body experience\u2014[Laughter]\u2014ask God \/ to say, \u201cLord God, give me the right response here,\u201d because, as you raise teenagers today, these moments will happen. It may not be the same topic, but it\u2014there will be some topics that will cause you to want to go outside and scream, where you go, \u201cI\u2019m not believing my little girl \/ my little boy just asked me this!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, increasingly, there are going to be categories and topics because the culture has increasingly expanded the vocabulary and the dialogue on this subject. So, don\u2019t be surprised if your fifth grader is asking questions that are way out there. I think a lot of moms and dads think: \u201cIf I got asked that question\u2014whatever the category is\u2014I wouldn\u2019t know what to say!\u00a0 I mean, I can say, \u2018What does the Bible say?\u2019\u00a0 If my child says, \u2018I don\u2019t know. Show me!\u2019 I\u2019d go, \u2018I don\u2019t know either!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This is when you need a youth expert\u2014someone who has spent a lot of hours with a bunch of young people, where he\u2019s put all the questions in a book called <em>Sex Matters<\/em>. And I\u2019m going to tell you something\u2014there are a lot of questions in here. It\u2019s like: \u201cWell, you\u2019ve tackled some tough ones; but this has to be talked about, and it has to be talked about by moms and dads with their kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe\u2019ve got to be able to do this.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, your other book, <em>More Than Just \u201cThe Talk\u201d<\/em>\u2014this gives parents a game plan to approach this subject as they raise their kids. This is a subject you have to be on the offensive about. You\u2019re going to play defense sometimes because\u2014just like you did\u2014you bought some time to find out: \u201cWhat exactly is the question about here? Where\u2019d she hear this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut these are days when a parent does need to be ahead of the kids in knowing what questions are out there. And we\u2019re not talking about kids that are in secular schools \/ we\u2019re talking about kids that are growing up in the church because that\u2019s who you\u2019ve worked with for the past two decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of these books is aimed at parents\u2014that\u2019s the book, <em>More Than Just \u201cThe Talk\u201d: Becoming Your Kids\u2019 Go-To Person About Sex<\/em>. And then, the other book, <em>Sex Matters<\/em>, is written for teenagers. We\u2019ve got both of these books in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur listeners can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order either or both of the books. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Let me just say\u2014we have a resource that parents have been using for years now called <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> that is designed to help a mom or a dad have a conversation with a preteen and begin to open the dialogue on this subject before the hormones hit. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get your copy of <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>. If you have a son or daughter, who is in that age group, plan to have a couple of days when you can get away together and begin this kind of a conversation, using the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> resource. Again, there is information, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask about <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>. We\u2019ll answer any questions you might have about that resource. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just mention\u2014next month, we have a brand-new resource that is coming out called <em>Passport2Identity\u2122<\/em>. This is another getaway time, where you can talk about issues related to your identity because every teenager is asking: \u201cWho am I? What am I good at? How do I define myself?\u201d\u00a0 This helps you have conversation around that subject with your son or daughter. That\u2019s going to be released next month. So, we\u2019ll be talking more about that, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to say, \u201cHappy Anniversary!\u201d to our friends, Jimmie and Ida Carpenter, who live in Glenwood, Illinois. They have been married 36 years today. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Carpenters. They listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in Chicago on WNBI, and we\u2019re glad that you tune in and hope you have a great anniversary celebration. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all about anniversaries, here at FamilyLife. We want to help couples have more and more. You guys make that possible as you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We appreciate all of you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014who are Legacy Partners or those of you who are occasional contributors to this ministry\u2014your financial support is what makes all of this happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we would love to help your anniversary this year be the best anniversary ever. If you\u2019ll go online and give us your anniversary date or call and let us know what day is your anniversary, then, in the month beforehand, we\u2019ll send you some tips and ideas on how your anniversary celebration can be the best one ever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re able to help us with a donation this month, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of a book called <em>Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family: Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles<\/em>. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you support the ministry, and we do appreciate your partnership with us. You can make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Make sure to mention you\u2019d like a copy of the book on parenting when you do that. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how you promote healthy human sexuality with your teenager in an age where the internet is offering them all kinds of options. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. Hope you can join us back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303912","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303912"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303912"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303912"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303912"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}