{"id":303908,"date":"2016-03-14T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-14T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/strengthening-the-father-bond\/"},"modified":"2016-03-14T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-14T15:00:00","slug":"strengthening-the-father-bond","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/strengthening-the-father-bond\/","title":{"rendered":"Strengthening the Father Bond"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Meg Meeker | Series: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters | Of all the relationships a girl may have, the one she has with her father is the most critical. Pediatrician\u00a0Meg Meeker talks about the powerful influence of a father and recalls how her own father&#8217;s belief in her at a low point in her life inspired her to believe in herself and become who she is today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pediatrician Meg Meeker talks about the powerful influence of a father and recalls how her own father&#8217;s belief in her at a low point in her life inspired her to believe in herself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-14.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.81M","filesize_raw":"23918195","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2837,2836],"tags":[5969,4277,5967,5968],"podcast_series":[7680],"cwp_profile":[3187],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303908","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-fathers","category-raising-girls","tag-father-daughter-relationships","tag-fathers","tag-fathers-and-daughters","tag-strong-fathers-strong-daughters","podcast_series-strong-fathers-strong-daughters","cwp_profile-meg-meeker","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303908\/strengthening-the-father-bond","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303908\/strengthening-the-father-bond","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2fy0ek97H3\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/strengthening-the-father-bond\/\">Strengthening the Father Bond<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/strengthening-the-father-bond\/embed\/#?secret=2fy0ek97H3\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Strengthening the Father Bond&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2fy0ek97H3\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Pediatrician Meg Meeker talks about the powerful influence of a father and recalls how her own father's belief in her at a low point in her life inspired her to believe in herself.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And your dad was a doctor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>My dad\u2019s a doctor. We lived outside of Boston. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad, again, didn\u2019t talk a whole lot\u2014quiet man \/ introverted. He didn\u2019t do a lot of things socially, but I knew that he was crazy about us kids\u2014I just knew that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went out for a job one day. I was walking by his study, and I overheard him talking to somebody on the phone\u2014another colleague. I heard him say, \u201cYes, my daughter Meg will be going to medical school in the next year.\u201d I stopped outside of his door and I thought: \u201cWhat in the world does he know that I don\u2019t know? Has he been in cahoots with some admissions director that paid somebody off at a medical school?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Because as far as you knew, you weren\u2019t going anywhere next year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>I wasn\u2019t going anywhere!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>I\u2019d just gotten rejections! No; he didn\u2019t know that. What I realized is, after talking with my dad\u2014of course, I hadn\u2019t gotten any acceptances\u2014but I heard in my dad\u2019s voice: \u201cMy daughter can do anything she sets out to do. I know that.\u201d When a daughter hears her father articulate that, she can do anything in the whole world she wants to do because \u201cIf dad believes I can, I can.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI <em>heard<\/em> my dad\u2019s voice, at age 50, writing my last book on boys. I heard my dad\u2019s voice as I was writing my book on teens. It was a voice that said: \u201cKeep going. Move forward. You can do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a great mom. My mom was my fan. My mom talked a lot\u2014we spent a lot of wonderful time together. But, there was an authority my dad carried in my eyes that was unmatched. My dad was huge to me! He was a physician, he was a quiet man, and he made a lot of mistakes\u2014wasn\u2019t a perfect dad. The whole book isn\u2019t about being a perfect dad; but he got the big stuff right. That was one lesson he taught me that I\u2019ve carried with me all of my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInterestingly enough, he doesn\u2019t remember, even way before he had Alzheimer\u2019s, that phone conversation; and yet, it changed my life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Interesting that you mention that.I want to ask you to do something before we\u2019re done on the broadcast today. So, you have a little while to think about this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And Bob hates me asking this question\u2014it\u2019s not a fair question \/ I realize this\u2014but I\u2019m going to ask you: \u201cOut of all your memories that you have with your father, if you could just keep one memory of one thing with your father\u2014that you did, experienced \/ maybe a moment\u2014what one memory would you keep and why?\u201d Now, you can think about it right now. Bob has another question he wants to ask. We\u2019ll just come back before the broadcast is over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just curious\u2014as you described this scene of walking by your dad\u2019s study, and he\u2019s talking to somebody, and he says, \u201cYou know, my daughter\u2019s going to medical school,\u201d and you\u2019re thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I\u2019m going to medical school,\u201d were you aware enough\u2014at that moment or as you stopped and looked back on that\u2014in that time, were you aware of how important your dad\u2019s belief in you was? Did you <em>know<\/em> that was vital, or did you just feel it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>No.No; I felt it. I really didn\u2019t know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I was a 21-year-old kid. All I\u2019m focused on is <em>me<\/em>, and what I want, and what I\u2019m going to get, and what I need to do to get there. I really didn\u2019t realize what an enormous impact those words, and other words that he said to me throughout my life, were going to make. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve really come to appreciate that as I have hit obstacles in my life, as an adult, where I draw on the strength that my dad gave me because of his <em>belief<\/em> in me. I think that that\u2019s really what it\u2019s all about\u2014when you have somebody that you admire, and who has authority, and you think is smart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>if they believe in you\u2014just that one person\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter what the world throws at you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me ask you this: \u201cOf the four parental relationships that can exist\u2014father\/daughter, father\/son, mother\/daughter, mother\/son\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014they\u2019re all important. It\u2019s important that boys see moms and dads. It\u2019s important that girls see moms and dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut is there something about the father\/daughter relationship that elevates it above some of the other parent\/child relationships?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Meg: <\/strong>I think there is. This is why I say that\u2014because, of all of the women in a man\u2019s life\u2014the daughter is the one who will take him to her grave. A man can have a wife and she can leave him and they move forward. He can have a sister \/ he can have a mother. But when a father has a daughter, as far as the daughter is concerned, she will carry her dad with her until she dies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know if that\u2019s true in the father\/son relationship. It may be, but I know that there\u2019s a complexity to the father\/daughter relationship that is really unmatched in the mother\/daughter or mother\/son relationship. There\u2019s a <em>power<\/em> in that\u2014there\u2019s a mutual respect\u2014there\u2019s adoration that a father\/daughter has toward one another that you may not have in the other relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In your book, you really describe daughters as having almost an idolized heroic\u2014really, idyllic picture of their dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s almost like he can do no wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Right. A number of women, who are grown, have read the book and come to me and said: \u201cWhat are you talking about? My dad was horrible! What are you talking about?\u201d But they still kind of understand what I was communicating in that chapter; and that is this\u2014every daughter is born with the <em>hope<\/em> that her dad will be that. You can\u2019t get around that! Every daughter wants her dad to be her hero. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery person probably <em>wants<\/em> a hero, but every daughter wants that hero to be her dad. Some dads are the hero, and some dads aren\u2019t the hero. If your dad isn\u2019t the hero, you may carry that pain with you for many, many years. It\u2019s interesting because, as I was interviewing women for the book, there were no lukewarm responses that women had when I said to them, \u201cWill you talk to me about your dad?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey either <em>gushed<\/em> about their dad and couldn\u2019t be quiet or they would burst into tears and say: \u201cI just can\u2019t do that. That\u2019s just too painful.\u201d But, there was no: \u201cOh, yeah. My dad was a really great guy. Let me tell you some stories.\u201d It was: \u201cOh, oh! Let me tell you about my dad!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I wanted to do in the book was sort of show the template of a girl\u2019s heart and say: \u201cThis is what daughters desire from their dad. You are larger than life when we\u2019re little. You are our hero. You are smarter than anybody \/ you are stronger than anybody. [Laughter] You always know what\u2019s right.\u201d That\u2019s what we <em>feel.<\/em> Now, \u201cWhat are you going to do with that?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the challenge for dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaughters, who have had a broken relationship or a lot of pain in their relationship, can at least read the book and go: \u201cNow I know why I hurt because I didn\u2019t get that. He ran out on Mom shortly after I was born. Now I know why I ache.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo husband or anybody else can fill that hole\u2014that\u2019s the daddy hole. I just really put it on the table, and women understand it. Whether they\u2019ve had those needs met or whether they haven\u2019t had them met, they resonate with what I\u2019m saying because that\u2019s in a little girl\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A young lady was designed by God to have a daddy to protect her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> As you mentioned the word, \u201chero,\u201d that\u2019s the word that just resonates in my chest as a daddy. I felt like my assignment was\u2014not merely to provide \/ not merely to love\u2014but to protect, and to build guardrails and fences, and really be\u2014I hate to put it this way\u2014but really try to be a knight in shining armor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Now, I think a part of what\u2019s missing in our culture today\u2014I don\u2019t think we\u2019re calling men to be that in our daughters\u2019 lives. We\u2019ve homogenized the sexes so that our sons and daughters don\u2019t need anything different from daddies\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014not that sons don\u2019t need to be protected because they do\u2014but a son needs something different, I think, from a dad than a daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The culture is preying on young ladies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes, absolutely! Women are leading the way in doing that because we have said to men: \u201cWe don\u2019t need you to do that. We don\u2019t need you to earn any money. We don\u2019t even need you to have babies.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re saying women are saying, \u201cWe don\u2019t need you for <em>anything<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>\u2014\u201canything! Anything!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand we\u2019d be better off without you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>And if you tell a woman that she has a desire in her heart for her dad to protect her\u2014that is not only politically very incorrect, it\u2019s anti-feminism \/ anti-woman. It\u2019s just plain wrong to say. But the truth is\u2014every woman wants protection, and you want it <em>first<\/em> from your dad. It\u2019s a desire that we have from birth in us, as little girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, there was a little girl one time whose father deserted her and her mom. She was left, as an elementary-aged child, to care for her mom who was mentally insane. That little girl protected her mom, grew up to become a young lady, and ultimately a leader in the feminist movement\u2014her name was Gloria Steinem. She didn\u2019t make the statement, but she embraced the statement made by another feminist leader that said, \u201cA woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In other words: \u201cA woman doesn\u2019t need a man.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is interesting Meg\u2014how that philosophy \/ that ideology has poisoned a generation of young ladies growing up in the church \/ growing up in Christian colleges and universities. It points out the need, even all the more today, why dads do need to be strong, and do need to go ahead and stand firm in their daughters\u2019 lives, and not be afraid to be bigger than life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Exactly. I think that we, who know better, really need to move into men\u2019s lives and encourage them to do that because men are poisoned\u2014I love that word\u2014\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014boys are poisoned. That\u2019s why I felt\u2014in the boy book and the father\/daughter book\u2014it was a chance to champion <em>manhood<\/em> \/ a chance to champion the Y chromosome and say: \u201cLook, people! If we don\u2019t begin to encourage our men, this could be the downfall in the United States.\u201d It really could. When you have 70 percent of African American boys growing up without a dad, we have a matriarchal society because we are such a confused lot of women. You know, we want; but we don\u2019t want.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>We need, but we don\u2019t need \/ we\u2019re lonely, but we\u2019re not lonely\u2014we are so confused. We have marginalized men over the past three decades to the point that men just sort of look at us and shrug their shoulders. No <em>wonder<\/em> they say: \u201cWell, what am I supposed to do with my 13-year-old daughter? I don\u2019t like it when she goes to school with her midriff showing, but I can\u2019t say anything because that\u2019s the style.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes you can!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Oh, yes you can! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, trust your instincts. You have an intuition, as a dad, that is unmatched\u2014run with it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Meg, the culture has completely robbed men of their courage when it comes to speaking into their daughters\u2019 lives like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes. Oh, absolutely! It\u2019s really tied their hands. The very sad thing is\u2014I see, on a daily basis, an enormous number of <em>good<\/em> <em>men<\/em> who really take such a backseat in parenting because they feel very confused. They feel that the authority has gone out of them. They don\u2019t know what to say or what not to say\u2014so they say nothing\u2014and they have a lot to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot that they\u2019re to pounce on women \/ or compete for women or the mother in the home; but there is a place when women are to back out and the father is to move in and to do what he knows how to do best. <em>Many<\/em> <em>times<\/em>, I tell mothers: \u201cBack off. You need to let dad run with it here because he knows what to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You described a young girl as wanting her dad to be her hero\u2014that he\u2019s the strongest, and he\u2019s the smartest, and that he can do no wrong. I remember, when my daughters were seven or eight, they probably felt that way about me. But then, when they were fourteen or fifteen, it didn\u2019t feel like they were thinking, \u201cYou\u2019re the smartest, and you\u2019re my hero!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, they did, Bob, because you constantly beat them in Trivial Pursuit. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No; I remember them thinking: \u201cDad, you just don\u2019t get it! You don\u2019t understand! You\u2019re making me <em>mad<\/em>, and I\u2019m <em>frustrated<\/em>,\u201d and they were upset with me!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>But their words really had very little to do with you. Again, that was part of their development\u2014they were going through that sort of pulling away, and that independence, and trying to figure out life. It really was more about their development than it was about you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen your kid was two, and they\u2019re having a temper tantrum, flailing on the floor, did you say, \u201cWhat did I do wrong to make him do that?\u201d\u00a0 No! You said, \u201cHe\u2019s having a temper tantrum.\u201d Same is true with a 13-, 14-, 15-year-old kid\u2014having a temper tantrum. It\u2019s something they\u2019re going through, and it doesn\u2019t have to do with you because there\u2019s <em>always<\/em> that desire in a girl\u2019s heart for more of her dad because it\u2019s need-based. She needs you! In a way, that is separate from her need from her husband, her kids, or her mother. It\u2019s always there\u2014even though she snarls, and spits, and will not hug you, and she might call you names. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re saying, as a dad, you just hang in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>You hang in, and don\u2019t take your kids personally. Don\u2019t take your girls personally when they snarl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And don\u2019t compromise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>No! No, no, no, no, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Don\u2019t get talked out of doing what you know you should do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>And don\u2019t fight back! You know, don\u2019t go back, and say certain things. They\u2019re literally having a temper tantrum. We are taught, as pediatricians: \u201cTell our young parents, \u2018When your two-year-old\u2019s having a temper tantrum, let them have their temper tantrum\u2014just keep them safe.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen your 16-year-old is having a temper tantrum, take the car keys away\u2014say: \u201cThere\u2019s your room. Turn on your music or whatever you want to do. I don\u2019t want to hear it right now. So you go off in your own quiet place, and <em>you<\/em> do it. When you\u2019re ready, come back down to the kitchen. Then we\u2019ll have some supper.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you know, Meg, it feels like, if you do that, they\u2019re going to go up to their room and they\u2019re going to figure out how they can\u2014they\u2019re going to hate you for life! That\u2019s what it feels like at the moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Yes, but they won\u2019t. They won\u2019t! But, you\u2019ve got to have the confidence. You let them go, and you let it rip. You cannot parent out of fear, and you cannot be afraid to say to your kid: \u201cGo off, and have your temper tantrum; but you\u2019re not going to drive a car. Here are the rules when you\u2019re having a temper tantrum: \u2018You cannot call me mean names, you can\u2019t wreck any of the stuff in our house, and you can\u2019t get in the car. Other than that, you can do whatever you like to do. See you in a little while!\u201d Stand in the confidence to know that their love for you is going to stay. They just need to explode for a little bit. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s called hormones! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Hormones!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s called a teenager maturing into life. It doesn\u2019t make sense to a man because it\u2019s not the way he\u2019s hard-wired. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, I want to come back to the question I asked at the beginning. Out of all the things you\u2019ve experienced with your father\u2014you talked about his profound influence in your life as a woman; ultimately, more than likely, resulting in you becoming a doctor\/pediatrician. What\u2019s your favorite memory?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>My <em>favorite<\/em> memory is fishing with my dad in a pond in Mt. Katahdin in Maine, fly fishing in a canoe with him. We would sit there, honestly, for hours. He would say very, very little. I <em>loved<\/em> that time with my dad. I felt <em>so<\/em> important that he would take me fly fishing\u2014taught me how to tie a fly, taught me how to tie the fly onto the line, taught me how to cast, taught me how to clean a fish\u2014made me unafraid to do things that I was a little bit squeamish about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just <em>loved<\/em> those moments with my dad in the quiet, at the base of Mt. Katahdin, in those ponds up there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad you picked something that most men can relate to because I think we have a tendency to make it into some giant event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But it can just be a father and a daughter floating along, maybe not even catching anything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but just hanging out\u2014spending time together without a lot of words \/ no lectures\u2014just being\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Just being together! To know that this <em>man<\/em> would want to spend three hours doing relatively very little with me made me feel larger than life. I thought, \u201cIf we could have dads see themselves through their daughters\u2019 eyes for just a few minutes, I really believe their lives would never be the same.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what I really try to do in the book\u2014let dads know who they are in their daughters\u2019 eyes, and how <em>enormous<\/em> they are\u2014and how the little tasks, the little moments, the little words here and there\u2014will really change their daughters\u2019 lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A dad is far more powerful than he realizes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, Dennis said, \u201cmaybe not catching anything\u201d because he\u2019s been fly fishing quite a bit [Laughter] and it\u2019s been his experience more often than not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I did\u2014I did watch my daughter catch about a three-and-a-half pound brown trout in a Colorado mountain lake one night. We got it mounted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s one of those good memories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s one of those great memories for me with one of my daughters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.You know, I think this is an area where, as dads, this doesn\u2019t come naturally to us\u2014to know how to be a dad to a daughter\u2014or to be a dad to a son for that matter. Dr. Meeker has written on both of these subjects, and I\u2019d just encourage our listeners\u2014those of you who are dads or you are married to a dad\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014get a copy of Dr. Meeker\u2019s book, <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters <\/em>if you have a daughter at home. And get a copy of her book, <em>Boys Will Be Boys, <\/em>if you have sons at home. I think there\u2019s helpful, practical wisdom in both of these books. You can order them from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order by phone. Or if you have any questions, call us and we\u2019ll see if we can answer those for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, today is a big day for our friends, Mark and Yeni Gonzales, who live in Lathrop, California. They are celebrating their 19<sup>th<\/sup> wedding anniversary today; and we just wanted to say, \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to them. We\u2019re all about anniversaries, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. In fact, this is our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry this year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are all about providing you with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family so that you can celebrate many more anniversaries for years to come. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to help you have an extra-special celebration this year. If you\u2019ll go online or call us and let us know your anniversary date, about a month before your anniversary, we\u2019ll send you some ideas on how your celebration this year can be extra-special\u2014we\u2019ve got some great thoughts for you. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and let us know your anniversary date, or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who make the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible\u2014those of you who have supported us over the past 40 years. We\u2019re listener-supported. Without your financial support, we couldn\u2019t do what we do. In fact, if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to show our appreciation by sending you a copy of a book called <em>Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family: Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles. <\/em>We\u2019ll send that out when you make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can request the book when you make a donation by phone at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also mail us your donation at <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to spend time talking about how critical it is for a dad to stay engaged in his daughter\u2019s life all the way through adolescence and beyond. We\u2019ll talk about that with Dr. Meg Meeker tomorrow. I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303908","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303908"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303908"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303908"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303908"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303908"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303908"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303908"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}