{"id":303904,"date":"2016-03-08T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-08T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/i-was-born-for-this\/"},"modified":"2016-03-08T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-08T17:00:00","slug":"i-was-born-for-this","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/i-was-born-for-this\/","title":{"rendered":"I Was Born for This"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Gary Thomas | Series: Killing Spiders: Casting Out Fear From Your Marriage | What do you want out of your marriage? Do you want to be connected as a couple? Gary Thomas explains that people get married to be accepted, but then pull back and hide from each other. But the best marriages are the ones where husband and wife say to each other &#8220;I am yours.&#8221; Gary says you have to learn how to be open and transparent with each other if you want to deepen intimacy in your marriage.  Recorded on FamilyLife&#8217;s 2016 Love Like You Mean It\u00ae marriage cruise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gary Thomas explains that people get married to be accepted, but then pull back from each other. Gary says you have to be transparent with each other if you want to deepen intimacy in your marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.81M","filesize_raw":"23916628","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2849,2810,2901],"tags":[2877],"podcast_series":[8129],"cwp_profile":[3158],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303904","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-drifting-apart","category-growing-spiritually","category-husbands","tag-marriage","podcast_series-killing-spiders-casting-out-fear-from-your-marriage","cwp_profile-gary-thomas","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303904\/i-was-born-for-this","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303904\/i-was-born-for-this","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"qmlDwAUKJk\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/i-was-born-for-this\/\">I Was Born for This<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/i-was-born-for-this\/embed\/#?secret=qmlDwAUKJk\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;I Was Born for This&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"qmlDwAUKJk\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-08.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-08.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For a marriage to really thrive, couples have to learn how to be transparent\u2014how to be open and honest with one another. Here\u2019s author Gary Thomas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary:<\/strong> What do you want out of your marriage? Do you want to just co-exist? Do you want to just get by and maybe reduce the level of conflict? Do you really want to be connected as a couple? It really comes down to \u201cWhat do you want? What do you want out of your marriage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo often, it\u2019s just a fraud\u2014that we get married to be known and accepted, and then, we hide and we pull back from each other. But the best marriages are the marriages where each partner says to the other: \u201cYou know what? I am yours.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear from Gary Thomas today about things we can do to help deepen the intimacy in our marriage. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve seen this ad on TV for the company that says: \u201cDon\u2019t settle for cable. Don\u2019t be settlers.\u201d Have you seen that commercial?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think I have; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m just thinking there are a lot of couples who have become \u201csettlers\u201d when it comes to marriage rather than saying, \u201cWhat is this supposed to be, and how can we have the best marriage there is?\u201d They\u2019ve just kind of settled in for mediocre.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They really have settled for second-best and not the <em>best<\/em>. I\u2019ll tell you what, Bob\u2014it is easy for a marriage to rob your relationship of its romance. Life has a way of dragging us down, getting us into the mundane\u2014we don\u2019t do it together \/ we don\u2019t embrace life together as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to be reminded today of how we can suffer with our spouse and love our spouse, perhaps, when they are suffering because people do bring things into marriage that they\u2019re suffering about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOther things occur to them after you\u2019re in marriage\u2014it may be a child that doesn\u2019t do well,\u00a0 it may be a health issue \/ an emotional issue. We\u2019re called to truly love our spouse as Christ loved the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we\u2019re going to hear Part Two today of a message that you and I had a chance to hear when we were together on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise, back a couple of weeks ago. We joined 1,300 couples\u2014took over a whole big cruise ship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you, Bob\u2014as folks were getting off of the ship, you could see it in their eyes. I talked to person after person \/ couple after couple, who said, \u201cGod met us on this cruise, and He did a mighty work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, I met a couple there who had been separated for the past five years of their marriage. They restated their marriage vows and are going to celebrate 25 years of marriage this year because of the work God did in their marriage \/ their lives during the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re encouraging couples right now\u2014if you\u2019d like to join us on one of these cruises, we have one scheduled next February. This will be our seventh annual cruise. All of the six cruises we\u2019ve done so far have sold out. Last year\u2019s cruise, which was the biggest one ever, sold out six months ahead of time. It\u2019s Valentine\u2019s week of 2017. If you\u2019re interested in finding out more, our team is making some special cabin rates available this week and next week\u2014if you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get more information. You\u2019ve got to call 1-800-FLTODAY to take advantage of the special rates that are being offered this week and next week. Again, the number is 1-800-358-6329 \/ 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear Part Two of a message from Gary Thomas today. He was giving us four ways that we can bless our spouse in a marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what he\u2019s going to cover today, Bob, is how we can truly love our spouse when they go through a difficult time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t know Gary Thomas, he and his wife live in Houston, Texas. They have three children. He is a writer in residence at Second Baptist Church and is a pretty fair country preacher. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019s already talked in this message about how important honesty is in a marriage, about how we need to have a blessing mentality in our marriage \/ being there to bless the other person, and about the importance of killing spiders \/ doing away with anything that causes fear in a marriage relationship. That brings us to his fourth point today\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary:<\/strong> Now the fourth one is this\u2014it comes from Proverbs 17:17. I could label it as this: \u201cI Was Born for This\u201d \/ \u201cI Was Born for This.\u201d Proverbs 17:17 says this: \u201cA friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.\u201d Now, if that\u2019s true for a brother\u2014you could say a spouse is married for adversity because here\u2019s a challenge: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe get married because we love this person\u2014they\u2019re beautiful, they\u2019re full of energy, they\u2019re full of life, and we have a good time together. Then, they get sick, or they get discouraged, or they get depressed, or they get addicted, or they have a problem. It\u2019s so easy, spiritually, to say: \u201cBoy! This isn\u2019t very good. I have to put up with this? I didn\u2019t get married for this! Why did I do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if we believe that we were <em>born<\/em> for our spouse\u2019s adversity\u2014whenever they face a challenge, we have in mind, \u201cI was born for this!\u201d This is where we rise to it. Rather than collapsing into resentment, and self-pity, and feeling sorry for ourselves, we feel empathy for our spouse: \u201cI was born for this!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to have the attitude of a fireman; right? A fireman doesn\u2019t resent it when there\u2019s a fire; does he?\u2014\u201cOh, man! I wanted to finish my meal!\u201d or \u201cI was playing Scrabble!\u201d He goes out because that\u2019s what he was trained to do\u2014that\u2019s why he\u2019s given a paycheck \/ that\u2019s why he\u2019s there\u2014to put out the fires. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in marriage, we think, \u201cNo, we\u2019re there for the good times,\u201d\u2014we don\u2019t want to have to put out the fires. But if we have the attitude of Proverbs 17, and we\u2019re saying, whenever it arises, \u201cI was born for this.\u201d That\u2019s what creates great connectedness with a couple because, when you meet your spouse in their weakness, and need, and hurt, they\u2019re just naturally drawn to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of mine was a pastor up in Canada\u2014a really young man\u2014just one of the most gifted communicators I\u2019ve ever known. Things were going so well; but he was in one of those really awful church fights that ended up in a church split and he was out of a job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was one of those nasty ones, where there was a lot of gossip and slander, and people have to be blamed. People were saying awful things about him. He\u2019s a good man with a good heart, but his reputation was just kind of <em>wrecked<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo he found himself in a job crawling under houses for $8\/hour. He had this great vision that God was going to use him and bless his ministry. It was just humiliating that he could barely eke out a living. His wife was having to budget on one-third of what they were living on before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe could have gotten down on him; but she said: \u201cHoney, I believe in you! I know God has a plan for you. This is a momentary reprieve.\u201d She never lost her faith in him, even with people saying ugly things about him. She was there for him the entire time!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne time, Grant came home; and he was so discouraged. He was dirty, and smelly, and filthy. He had made\u2014I don\u2019t know what\u2014seventy bucks that day. He walked in the house. His wife hadn\u2019t heard him walk in, but he hears his wife talking on the phone. He overhears her telling one of the elders in the church: \u201cNo, you can\u2019t talk to my husband. I\u2019m his wife. I just want you to know that if you want to get to him, you have to go through me. If you find a way to get around me, you\u2019re going to have to deal with me because he\u2019s my husband; and you\u2019re not going to abuse him anymore.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrant felt so humbled that\u2014when she could have piled on and said, \u201cYou know, maybe what they\u2019re saying is true,\u201d\u2014but she was there for him. She said, \u201cI was born to get you through this.\u201d They grew together. He grew as a believer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod put him in a church in the United States. He\u2019s in Bellingham, Washington. Today, his church is the largest church of a city that size in the United States. It has just blossomed and God has blessed his ministry. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to one of his elders a decade ago. They were telling me: \u201cYou know, we know we\u2019re going to lose him. He\u2019s too gifted. He could be paid three times what we pay him \/ he would be in a city that\u2019s larger, where people could grow. It\u2019s hard to grow a church when you kind of push the boundaries of the population.\u201d I know \/ I thought why Grant hadn\u2019t taken up any of those offers because he was getting regular contacts. I called him just a year or two again, when I was working on <em>A Life-long Love. <\/em>I said: \u201cHey, Grant! Just between you and me\u2014I won\u2019t tell anybody\u2014I just need to know, between you and me.\u201d [Laughter] You see, Grant\u2019s wife, Laurel\u2014the one who protected him\u2014has been going steadily blind until, now, she is almost completely blind in their small community of Linden, Washington, where she knows their house, she knows the community\u2014everything is set up for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cI\u2019m guessing that the primary reason you\u2019re still in Bellingham is\u2014it\u2019s really the best place for Laurel to live.\u201d Grant was silent for a long while and he said, \u201cI can\u2019t deny that.\u201d I love that where she said, when he was down, \u201cI was born for this.\u201d His wife is down and he says, \u201cI was born for this.\u201d \u201cBefore I was born to be some bigshot pastor, I was born to be my wife\u2019s husband. I\u2019m not going to resent it\u2014that I\u2019m stuck here in this town.\u201d He doesn\u2019t look at it that way. \u201cI am not going to resent it that I can\u2019t follow these opportunities because the <em>best<\/em> opportunity in my life is to be connected to my wife\u2014to be a husband.\u201d A lot of men with big churches live with empty souls because they have distant marriages. Grant said, \u201cI think it\u2019s better to have a pretty large church, and a connected marriage, and to be honoring her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are tough things; but if you write them down and if you apply them, they work! They draw us together. They take a lot of courage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you\u2019ve got to ask yourself: \u201cWhat do you want? What do you want out of your marriage?\u201d Do you want to just co-exist? Do you want to just get by and maybe reduce the level of conflict? Do you really want to be connected as a couple?\u201d It really comes down to: \u201cWhat do you want? What do you want out of your marriage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo often, it\u2019s just a fraud\u2014that we get married to be known and accepted\u2014and then we hide and, spiritually, we become resentful and we pull back from each other. But the best marriages \/ the best marriages are the marriages, where each partner says to the other: \u201cYou know what? I am yours. Before I\u2019m my kids\u2019 mom or dad, before I\u2019m my boss\u2019s employee, before I\u2019m my company\u2019s boss, before I\u2019m my parents\u2019 child, before I\u2019m my hobby\u2019s addict, I belong to you. I\u2019m going to make those choices to stay connected to you. I\u2019m not going to put anything above you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re frustrated in a disconnected marriage, the solution isn\u2019t to kill your marriage. That\u2019s what Satan likes: \u201cSee how frustrated you are? See how distant you are? Here\u2019s what you do\u2014you kill your marriage \/ destroy your family.\u201d What does Jesus say Satan comes to do in John 10? [Audience response] \u201cSatan, the thief, comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy.\u201d Whenever that\u2019s the solution to your problem, you know who you\u2019re listening to. Jesus told us that is his[Satan\u2019s] motive, that\u2019s his operation, that\u2019s his solution. But Jesus says, \u201cI have come that you might have life and you might have it abundantly.\u201d God wants us to have life-giving marriages and abundant marriages. In His Word, He\u2019s given us these four things, all out of Scripture, where we can reconnect\u2014we can direct our hearts to have a more connected marriage. When we do, it becomes <em>so<\/em> powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to end with the story of a couple that did this later in life. How many of you have heard of Robertson McQuilkin? A good number of you have; but if you had heard me talking 15\/20 years ago, it would be like this: \u201cHow many of you have heard of James Dobson?\u201d [Response] Okay\u2014that\u2019s what I mean. He [Robertson] and his wife Muriel were the power couple. They were going to conferences \/ he was president of a seminary. Both were successful authors. They would speak at all of those things. As they were just entering their 40<sup>th<\/sup> year of marriage\u2014not that old\u2014his wife Muriel was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause they were so well-known, they had a lot of people offering different suggestions\u2014you know: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to take out all your fillings,\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019ve got to quit eating this or that.\u201d Finally, he knew that it was good intentions; Robertson said this: \u201cPlease stop.\u201d And he offered this prayer: \u201cI pray the Lord will do a physical miracle for my wife; but if He chooses not to, then I pray He\u2019ll work a spiritual miracle in me so that I can love her well until the end.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s such a dramatic prayer for a Christian husband. He says, \u201cFor my wife\u2019s sake, I want her to be healed physically; but if she can\u2019t be healed physically, or if God chooses not to, \u2018Lord, do a spiritual miracle in me so that I can say to her: \u201cI was born for this. This is a challenging time in your life, and I was born for this.\u201d\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe wants to live with a blessing mentality\u2014not \u201cHow can I get my needs met? Why do I have to put up with this?\u201d\u2014but \u201cHow can I bless her?\u201d Well, he knew she loved art. She had never been to where some of her favorite masterpieces were kept. So he set up an appointment to go to London\u2019s Tate Galleries, where a lot of her favorite masterpieces \/ the originals were kept. It broke his heart because the day they got there\u2014it was already advanced enough that she had good days and bad days\u2014and this was not a good day. She raced past some of these masterpieces like she was going through a Hallmark store. It broke his heart that part of his wife was already gone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were the embarrassing moments to get there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the flight, she had to get up\u2014it was a long flight\u2014and use the restroom. Robertson thought to himself, \u201cMan, if she gets in there and she\u2019s able to lock the door, she might not be able to unlock it and she\u2019s going to panic.\u201d So he gets up behind her and he follows her in. He said: \u201cLook, I saw the smirks of the passengers around us and even the flight attendants. I knew what they were thinking: \u2018You guys look a little old to be trying to join the mile-high club.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] You know what? He didn\u2019t care what people thought\u2014he cared about his wife\u2019s welfare, he cared about his wife\u2019s safety, he wanted to serve his wife. He said: \u201cLet everybody laugh. I\u2019m going to be connected to my wife.\u201d So he took care of her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when they were flying back to the States, he found that Muriel could get restless in an airport. The best thing to do was to just let her go around. If he tried to get her to stay seated, she could just get kind of fidgety. He\u2019s a rather slight man. I\u2019m sure it was comical because he had both of their bags, and his wife is just darting here and there and there. He would just follow her, and then he\u2019d sit when she\u2019d sit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe kept sitting right across from this business woman who just screamed power and influence. I mean, she had incredible clothes, all the tech gadgets, and just that expression that said she\u2019s used to giving orders and she\u2019s used to having them obeyed. Muriel kept sitting across from her. Like, for the third time, she just plops down right in front of her. Finally, Robertson hears the business woman say something. He says, \u201cExcuse me?\u201d Now the woman is a little bit embarrassed. She said: \u201cNothing. Well, I just wondered if I\u2019ll ever have a man love me like you obviously love her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMen, does your wife want a connected marriage? Here\u2019s a woman who has everything that women are supposed to aspire to\u2014the dress, the authority, the power, the influence; and she is literally envious of an Alzheimer\u2019s patient: \u201cI\u2019ve achieved so much, but what would it be like to have a man love me like this man loves his wife? And why does he love her?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the power of a connected marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it wasn\u2019t just Muriel that loved Robertson \/ Robertson loved Muriel. Everything changed in his life when, one day, Muriel started to panic. Robertson was president of a seminary, and his house was on the campus there. His office was at a different building. Muriel only felt safe, at a certain point, when Robertson was near her. She couldn\u2019t find him, so she ran out of the house and was running up and down the sidewalks, trying to find her husband until somebody saw her, knew who she was, and directed her into Robertson\u2019s office. She showed up in his office with bloody feet\u2014she\u2019d been running on concrete. She forgot to put on her shoes\u2014she just wanted to find her husband. Robertson looked at those bloody feet, and he knew what it meant. He knew his time as president of that seminary was done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe put in his resignation and here\u2019s what he said in that: \u201cThe decision to come to Columbia was the most difficult I\u2019ve ever had to make. The decision to leave 22 years later, though painful, is one of the easiest. That decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago, when I promised to care for Muriel \u2018in sickness and in health, \u2018til death do us part.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMan\u2014you talk about killing a spider! When your spider is your job\u2014and you get the intellectual stimulation and the leadership stimulation\u2014but he says: \u201cYou know what? It\u2019s more important right now that I be Muriel\u2019s husband because that\u2019s what I pledged to do first.\u201d So he has a different life. Instead of reading textbooks, he\u2019s reading the newspaper as he\u2019s sitting next to his wife. Instead of trying to help people understand the mysteries of the gospel, he\u2019s helping his wife clean up after bathroom accidents. Literally, one time, he was listening to a famous preacher. The preacher came on the air and said: \u201cMen, are you at home? I mean, really at home?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobertson said he laughed, literally with feces on his hands, saying, \u201cYes, Chuck; I\u2019m at home. Trust me!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt gave such a strong testimony to the physician who cared for Muriel. He unloaded on Robertson, saying: \u201cYou know? What\u2019s so difficult is that 70 percent of the women, who have this situation, are abandoned by their husbands. They say, \u2018I didn\u2019t sign up for this,\u2019 and they leave them. They just put them in a home or just let them go.\u201d Robertson said: \u201cSeventy percent!? Maybe they\u2019re having a love affair with themselves.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the key of a disconnected marriage\u2014we can\u2019t have a love affair with our spouse if we have a love affair with ourselves. If we\u2019re going to say, \u201cI\u2019m not going to be honest because I want to do what I want to do and not lose his \/ or her approval,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t want to bless you. I want to get my needs met,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a love affair with ourselves\u2014or \u201cI don\u2019t want to kill this spider. I enjoy this! Why should I give it up?\u201d or \u201cI want to resent this and say, \u2018I wasn\u2019t born for this!\u2019\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a love affair with ourselves, and we can\u2019t have a love affair with our spouse when we serve ourselves first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we do that\u2014when we\u2019re honest, when we bless our spouse, when we kill the spiders, when we say, \u201cI was born for this,\u201d\u2014we create the witness that I was talking about last night from John, Chapter 13. That\u2019s what happened with Robertson and his wife. When she was still able to walk, he would take her out for these walks. He liked for her to get some sun. They lived on a busy street. I\u2019m sure it was kind of funny because here you have this slight man, who\u2019s darting back and forth to stay on the outside of his wife, because he didn\u2019t want her to dart into the street and get hit by a car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe kept doing this. On the way, facing him, was this homeless man, obviously dealing with some dementia. He saw this couple walking forward, and this guy was just staring at her\u2014you know, no tact \/ no sense of propriety\u2014just staring and gawking. When Robertson and Muriel came up, this man said: \u201cThat\u2019s good! That\u2019s really good. I like that. That\u2019s good!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven a man, who\u2019s literally losing his mind, knows love when he sees it. That\u2019s the power of a connected marriage. You don\u2019t have to destroy your marriage if you feel disconnected. You might love being married if you can get reconnected, and I believe these things will help you do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, a great word today from Gary Thomas\u2014Part Two of a message that he shared onboard the <em>Love<\/em> <em>Like<\/em> <em>You<\/em> <em>Mean<\/em> <em>It<\/em> marriage cruise. Let me just encourage our listeners\u2014if you missed any portion of Gary\u2019s message, you can download these programs from <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Just go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to download. Let me also mention the new FamilyLife app that is available. If you go to the app store for your phone, whether it\u2019s Android or iOS, and you type in FamilyLife\u2014one word\u2014all one word \/ FamilyLife\u2014the FamilyLife app will be right there. Download it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s free. It gives you quick, easy access to everything we make available, here at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s really a good app, Bob. I want to encourage our listeners to get it because it will make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> available to you regardless of where you are. You can just listen to it on your smartphone or your iPad<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014it really is a great resource.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Gary has reminded us of, here on the broadcast today, is Galatians, Chapter 6, verse 9\u2014it says, \u201cAnd let us not grow weary of doing good for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.\u201d What Gary\u2019s talking about is\u2014even if your spouse is going through what has become seasons \/ not just a brief period of suffering, but going through something on an ongoing basis\u2014you\u2019re thinking, \u201cHow do I keep doing good here?\u201d the Scripture says, \u201cLet us not lose heart in well-doing for in due time\u201d\u2014there is a God who sees. He may not reward you in the way you think He ought to reward you, but you will be reaping blessings as a result. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKeep on loving your spouse regardless of what they\u2019re going through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gary has written a book called <em>A Life-long Love, <\/em>where he explores what it is that causes marriages to drift toward isolation rather than the daily choices we can make in a marriage to grow closer together. We\u2019ve got copies of that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. If you\u2019re interested in a copy of Gary\u2019s book, or if you\u2019d like to listen to a conversation we had with Gary a while back on this subject, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can either listen to those past programs or you can order a copy of the book, <em>A Lifelong Love<\/em>. Of course, if you missed any of Gary\u2019s message this week on <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you can listen online. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention the new FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you go to your app store, either for your iPhone or for your Android phone, look for FamilyLife\u2014put it all in as one word. Our app should pop up at the top of the list. Download it for free. It gives you quick, easy access to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>radio programs, articles, resources\u2014the things you\u2019re looking for, available when you need them, and easy to find right on your smartphone or on your portable device. Again, go to the app store and look for FamilyLife\u2014all one word\u2014to download the new FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, be sure to make plans to join us on the <em>Love<\/em> <em>Like<\/em> <em>You<\/em> <em>Mean<\/em> <em>It<\/em> marriage cruise in 2017. Valentine\u2019s week, we\u2019ll leave from New Orleans on February 13<sup>th<\/sup>. We\u2019ll travel through the western Caribbean. With us onboard will be Kevin DeYoung, Paul David Tripp, H.B. Charles, Jeremy Camp is going to along\u2014David Phelps is going to be with us,\u00a0 and Michael, Jr. We\u2019ve got a great lineup for the cruise, and we\u2019re about half sold-out at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got some special rates for balcony cabins this week and next week when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get more details. So give us a call and plan to join us. Again, call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Lysa TerKeurst, who was also with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise this year. She\u2019s got some counsel for wives about what you can do to capture your husband\u2019s heart. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.81M"],"filesize_raw":["23916628"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303904.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303904.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Thomas explains that people get married to be accepted, but then pull back from each other. Gary says you have to be transparent with each other if you want to deepen intimacy in your marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For a marriage to really thrive, couples have to learn how to be transparent\u2014how to be open and honest with one another. Here\u2019s author Gary Thomas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary:<\/strong> What do you want out of your marriage? Do you want to just co-exist? Do you want to just get by and maybe reduce the level of conflict? Do you really want to be connected as a couple? It really comes down to \u201cWhat do you want? What do you want out of your marriage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo often, it\u2019s just a fraud\u2014that we get married to be known and accepted, and then, we hide and we pull back from each other. But the best marriages are the marriages where each partner says to the other: \u201cYou know what? I am yours.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear from Gary Thomas today about things we can do to help deepen the intimacy in our marriage. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve seen this ad on TV for the company that says: \u201cDon\u2019t settle for cable. Don\u2019t be settlers.\u201d Have you seen that commercial?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think I have; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m just thinking there are a lot of couples who have become \u201csettlers\u201d when it comes to marriage rather than saying, \u201cWhat is this supposed to be, and how can we have the best marriage there is?\u201d They\u2019ve just kind of settled in for mediocre.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They really have settled for second-best and not the <em>best<\/em>. I\u2019ll tell you what, Bob\u2014it is easy for a marriage to rob your relationship of its romance. Life has a way of dragging us down, getting us into the mundane\u2014we don\u2019t do it together \/ we don\u2019t embrace life together as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to be reminded today of how we can suffer with our spouse and love our spouse, perhaps, when they are suffering because people do bring things into marriage that they\u2019re suffering about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOther things occur to them after you\u2019re in marriage\u2014it may be a child that doesn\u2019t do well,\u00a0 it may be a health issue \/ an emotional issue. We\u2019re called to truly love our spouse as Christ loved the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we\u2019re going to hear Part Two today of a message that you and I had a chance to hear when we were together on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise, back a couple of weeks ago. We joined 1,300 couples\u2014took over a whole big cruise ship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you, Bob\u2014as folks were getting off of the ship, you could see it in their eyes. I talked to person after person \/ couple after couple, who said, \u201cGod met us on this cruise, and He did a mighty work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, I met a couple there who had been separated for the past five years of their marriage. They restated their marriage vows and are going to celebrate 25 years of marriage this year because of the work God did in their marriage \/ their lives during the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> cruise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re encouraging couples right now\u2014if you\u2019d like to join us on one of these cruises, we have one scheduled next February. This will be our seventh annual cruise. All of the six cruises we\u2019ve done so far have sold out. Last year\u2019s cruise, which was the biggest one ever, sold out six months ahead of time. It\u2019s Valentine\u2019s week of 2017. If you\u2019re interested in finding out more, our team is making some special cabin rates available this week and next week\u2014if you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get more information. You\u2019ve got to call 1-800-FLTODAY to take advantage of the special rates that are being offered this week and next week. Again, the number is 1-800-358-6329 \/ 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear Part Two of a message from Gary Thomas today. He was giving us four ways that we can bless our spouse in a marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what he\u2019s going to cover today, Bob, is how we can truly love our spouse when they go through a difficult time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t know Gary Thomas, he and his wife live in Houston, Texas. They have three children. He is a writer in residence at Second Baptist Church and is a pretty fair country preacher. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019s already talked in this message about how important honesty is in a marriage, about how we need to have a blessing mentality in our marriage \/ being there to bless the other person, and about the importance of killing spiders \/ doing away with anything that causes fear in a marriage relationship. That brings us to his fourth point today\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary:<\/strong> Now the fourth one is this\u2014it comes from Proverbs 17:17. I could label it as this: \u201cI Was Born for This\u201d \/ \u201cI Was Born for This.\u201d Proverbs 17:17 says this: \u201cA friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.\u201d Now, if that\u2019s true for a brother\u2014you could say a spouse is married for adversity because here\u2019s a challenge: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe get married because we love this person\u2014they\u2019re beautiful, they\u2019re full of energy, they\u2019re full of life, and we have a good time together. Then, they get sick, or they get discouraged, or they get depressed, or they get addicted, or they have a problem. It\u2019s so easy, spiritually, to say: \u201cBoy! This isn\u2019t very good. I have to put up with this? I didn\u2019t get married for this! Why did I do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if we believe that we were <em>born<\/em> for our spouse\u2019s adversity\u2014whenever they face a challenge, we have in mind, \u201cI was born for this!\u201d This is where we rise to it. Rather than collapsing into resentment, and self-pity, and feeling sorry for ourselves, we feel empathy for our spouse: \u201cI was born for this!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to have the attitude of a fireman; right? A fireman doesn\u2019t resent it when there\u2019s a fire; does he?\u2014\u201cOh, man! I wanted to finish my meal!\u201d or \u201cI was playing Scrabble!\u201d He goes out because that\u2019s what he was trained to do\u2014that\u2019s why he\u2019s given a paycheck \/ that\u2019s why he\u2019s there\u2014to put out the fires. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in marriage, we think, \u201cNo, we\u2019re there for the good times,\u201d\u2014we don\u2019t want to have to put out the fires. But if we have the attitude of Proverbs 17, and we\u2019re saying, whenever it arises, \u201cI was born for this.\u201d That\u2019s what creates great connectedness with a couple because, when you meet your spouse in their weakness, and need, and hurt, they\u2019re just naturally drawn to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA friend of mine was a pastor up in Canada\u2014a really young man\u2014just one of the most gifted communicators I\u2019ve ever known. Things were going so well; but he was in one of those really awful church fights that ended up in a church split and he was out of a job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was one of those nasty ones, where there was a lot of gossip and slander, and people have to be blamed. People were saying awful things about him. He\u2019s a good man with a good heart, but his reputation was just kind of <em>wrecked<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo he found himself in a job crawling under houses for $8\/hour. He had this great vision that God was going to use him and bless his ministry. It was just humiliating that he could barely eke out a living. His wife was having to budget on one-third of what they were living on before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe could have gotten down on him; but she said: \u201cHoney, I believe in you! I know God has a plan for you. This is a momentary reprieve.\u201d She never lost her faith in him, even with people saying ugly things about him. She was there for him the entire time!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne time, Grant came home; and he was so discouraged. He was dirty, and smelly, and filthy. He had made\u2014I don\u2019t know what\u2014seventy bucks that day. He walked in the house. His wife hadn\u2019t heard him walk in, but he hears his wife talking on the phone. He overhears her telling one of the elders in the church: \u201cNo, you can\u2019t talk to my husband. I\u2019m his wife. I just want you to know that if you want to get to him, you have to go through me. If you find a way to get around me, you\u2019re going to have to deal with me because he\u2019s my husband; and you\u2019re not going to abuse him anymore.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrant felt so humbled that\u2014when she could have piled on and said, \u201cYou know, maybe what they\u2019re saying is true,\u201d\u2014but she was there for him. She said, \u201cI was born to get you through this.\u201d They grew together. He grew as a believer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod put him in a church in the United States. He\u2019s in Bellingham, Washington. Today, his church is the largest church of a city that size in the United States. It has just blossomed and God has blessed his ministry. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to one of his elders a decade ago. They were telling me: \u201cYou know, we know we\u2019re going to lose him. He\u2019s too gifted. He could be paid three times what we pay him \/ he would be in a city that\u2019s larger, where people could grow. It\u2019s hard to grow a church when you kind of push the boundaries of the population.\u201d I know \/ I thought why Grant hadn\u2019t taken up any of those offers because he was getting regular contacts. I called him just a year or two again, when I was working on <em>A Life-long Love. <\/em>I said: \u201cHey, Grant! Just between you and me\u2014I won\u2019t tell anybody\u2014I just need to know, between you and me.\u201d [Laughter] You see, Grant\u2019s wife, Laurel\u2014the one who protected him\u2014has been going steadily blind until, now, she is almost completely blind in their small community of Linden, Washington, where she knows their house, she knows the community\u2014everything is set up for her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cI\u2019m guessing that the primary reason you\u2019re still in Bellingham is\u2014it\u2019s really the best place for Laurel to live.\u201d Grant was silent for a long while and he said, \u201cI can\u2019t deny that.\u201d I love that where she said, when he was down, \u201cI was born for this.\u201d His wife is down and he says, \u201cI was born for this.\u201d \u201cBefore I was born to be some bigshot pastor, I was born to be my wife\u2019s husband. I\u2019m not going to resent it\u2014that I\u2019m stuck here in this town.\u201d He doesn\u2019t look at it that way. \u201cI am not going to resent it that I can\u2019t follow these opportunities because the <em>best<\/em> opportunity in my life is to be connected to my wife\u2014to be a husband.\u201d A lot of men with big churches live with empty souls because they have distant marriages. Grant said, \u201cI think it\u2019s better to have a pretty large church, and a connected marriage, and to be honoring her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are tough things; but if you write them down and if you apply them, they work! They draw us together. They take a lot of courage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you\u2019ve got to ask yourself: \u201cWhat do you want? What do you want out of your marriage?\u201d Do you want to just co-exist? Do you want to just get by and maybe reduce the level of conflict? Do you really want to be connected as a couple?\u201d It really comes down to: \u201cWhat do you want? What do you want out of your marriage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo often, it\u2019s just a fraud\u2014that we get married to be known and accepted\u2014and then we hide and, spiritually, we become resentful and we pull back from each other. But the best marriages \/ the best marriages are the marriages, where each partner says to the other: \u201cYou know what? I am yours. Before I\u2019m my kids\u2019 mom or dad, before I\u2019m my boss\u2019s employee, before I\u2019m my company\u2019s boss, before I\u2019m my parents\u2019 child, before I\u2019m my hobby\u2019s addict, I belong to you. I\u2019m going to make those choices to stay connected to you. I\u2019m not going to put anything above you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re frustrated in a disconnected marriage, the solution isn\u2019t to kill your marriage. That\u2019s what Satan likes: \u201cSee how frustrated you are? See how distant you are? Here\u2019s what you do\u2014you kill your marriage \/ destroy your family.\u201d What does Jesus say Satan comes to do in John 10? [Audience response] \u201cSatan, the thief, comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy.\u201d Whenever that\u2019s the solution to your problem, you know who you\u2019re listening to. Jesus told us that is his[Satan\u2019s] motive, that\u2019s his operation, that\u2019s his solution. But Jesus says, \u201cI have come that you might have life and you might have it abundantly.\u201d God wants us to have life-giving marriages and abundant marriages. In His Word, He\u2019s given us these four things, all out of Scripture, where we can reconnect\u2014we can direct our hearts to have a more connected marriage. When we do, it becomes <em>so<\/em> powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to end with the story of a couple that did this later in life. How many of you have heard of Robertson McQuilkin? A good number of you have; but if you had heard me talking 15\/20 years ago, it would be like this: \u201cHow many of you have heard of James Dobson?\u201d [Response] Okay\u2014that\u2019s what I mean. He [Robertson] and his wife Muriel were the power couple. They were going to conferences \/ he was president of a seminary. Both were successful authors. They would speak at all of those things. As they were just entering their 40<sup>th<\/sup> year of marriage\u2014not that old\u2014his wife Muriel was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause they were so well-known, they had a lot of people offering different suggestions\u2014you know: \u201cYou\u2019ve got to take out all your fillings,\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019ve got to quit eating this or that.\u201d Finally, he knew that it was good intentions; Robertson said this: \u201cPlease stop.\u201d And he offered this prayer: \u201cI pray the Lord will do a physical miracle for my wife; but if He chooses not to, then I pray He\u2019ll work a spiritual miracle in me so that I can love her well until the end.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s such a dramatic prayer for a Christian husband. He says, \u201cFor my wife\u2019s sake, I want her to be healed physically; but if she can\u2019t be healed physically, or if God chooses not to, \u2018Lord, do a spiritual miracle in me so that I can say to her: \u201cI was born for this. This is a challenging time in your life, and I was born for this.\u201d\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe wants to live with a blessing mentality\u2014not \u201cHow can I get my needs met? Why do I have to put up with this?\u201d\u2014but \u201cHow can I bless her?\u201d Well, he knew she loved art. She had never been to where some of her favorite masterpieces were kept. So he set up an appointment to go to London\u2019s Tate Galleries, where a lot of her favorite masterpieces \/ the originals were kept. It broke his heart because the day they got there\u2014it was already advanced enough that she had good days and bad days\u2014and this was not a good day. She raced past some of these masterpieces like she was going through a Hallmark store. It broke his heart that part of his wife was already gone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were the embarrassing moments to get there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the flight, she had to get up\u2014it was a long flight\u2014and use the restroom. Robertson thought to himself, \u201cMan, if she gets in there and she\u2019s able to lock the door, she might not be able to unlock it and she\u2019s going to panic.\u201d So he gets up behind her and he follows her in. He said: \u201cLook, I saw the smirks of the passengers around us and even the flight attendants. I knew what they were thinking: \u2018You guys look a little old to be trying to join the mile-high club.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] You know what? He didn\u2019t care what people thought\u2014he cared about his wife\u2019s welfare, he cared about his wife\u2019s safety, he wanted to serve his wife. He said: \u201cLet everybody laugh. I\u2019m going to be connected to my wife.\u201d So he took care of her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when they were flying back to the States, he found that Muriel could get restless in an airport. The best thing to do was to just let her go around. If he tried to get her to stay seated, she could just get kind of fidgety. He\u2019s a rather slight man. I\u2019m sure it was comical because he had both of their bags, and his wife is just darting here and there and there. He would just follow her, and then he\u2019d sit when she\u2019d sit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe kept sitting right across from this business woman who just screamed power and influence. I mean, she had incredible clothes, all the tech gadgets, and just that expression that said she\u2019s used to giving orders and she\u2019s used to having them obeyed. Muriel kept sitting across from her. Like, for the third time, she just plops down right in front of her. Finally, Robertson hears the business woman say something. He says, \u201cExcuse me?\u201d Now the woman is a little bit embarrassed. She said: \u201cNothing. Well, I just wondered if I\u2019ll ever have a man love me like you obviously love her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMen, does your wife want a connected marriage? Here\u2019s a woman who has everything that women are supposed to aspire to\u2014the dress, the authority, the power, the influence; and she is literally envious of an Alzheimer\u2019s patient: \u201cI\u2019ve achieved so much, but what would it be like to have a man love me like this man loves his wife? And why does he love her?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the power of a connected marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it wasn\u2019t just Muriel that loved Robertson \/ Robertson loved Muriel. Everything changed in his life when, one day, Muriel started to panic. Robertson was president of a seminary, and his house was on the campus there. His office was at a different building. Muriel only felt safe, at a certain point, when Robertson was near her. She couldn\u2019t find him, so she ran out of the house and was running up and down the sidewalks, trying to find her husband until somebody saw her, knew who she was, and directed her into Robertson\u2019s office. She showed up in his office with bloody feet\u2014she\u2019d been running on concrete. She forgot to put on her shoes\u2014she just wanted to find her husband. Robertson looked at those bloody feet, and he knew what it meant. He knew his time as president of that seminary was done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe put in his resignation and here\u2019s what he said in that: \u201cThe decision to come to Columbia was the most difficult I\u2019ve ever had to make. The decision to leave 22 years later, though painful, is one of the easiest. That decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago, when I promised to care for Muriel \u2018in sickness and in health, \u2018til death do us part.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMan\u2014you talk about killing a spider! When your spider is your job\u2014and you get the intellectual stimulation and the leadership stimulation\u2014but he says: \u201cYou know what? It\u2019s more important right now that I be Muriel\u2019s husband because that\u2019s what I pledged to do first.\u201d So he has a different life. Instead of reading textbooks, he\u2019s reading the newspaper as he\u2019s sitting next to his wife. Instead of trying to help people understand the mysteries of the gospel, he\u2019s helping his wife clean up after bathroom accidents. Literally, one time, he was listening to a famous preacher. The preacher came on the air and said: \u201cMen, are you at home? I mean, really at home?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobertson said he laughed, literally with feces on his hands, saying, \u201cYes, Chuck; I\u2019m at home. Trust me!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt gave such a strong testimony to the physician who cared for Muriel. He unloaded on Robertson, saying: \u201cYou know? What\u2019s so difficult is that 70 percent of the women, who have this situation, are abandoned by their husbands. They say, \u2018I didn\u2019t sign up for this,\u2019 and they leave them. They just put them in a home or just let them go.\u201d Robertson said: \u201cSeventy percent!? Maybe they\u2019re having a love affair with themselves.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the key of a disconnected marriage\u2014we can\u2019t have a love affair with our spouse if we have a love affair with ourselves. If we\u2019re going to say, \u201cI\u2019m not going to be honest because I want to do what I want to do and not lose his \/ or her approval,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t want to bless you. I want to get my needs met,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a love affair with ourselves\u2014or \u201cI don\u2019t want to kill this spider. I enjoy this! Why should I give it up?\u201d or \u201cI want to resent this and say, \u2018I wasn\u2019t born for this!\u2019\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a love affair with ourselves, and we can\u2019t have a love affair with our spouse when we serve ourselves first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we do that\u2014when we\u2019re honest, when we bless our spouse, when we kill the spiders, when we say, \u201cI was born for this,\u201d\u2014we create the witness that I was talking about last night from John, Chapter 13. That\u2019s what happened with Robertson and his wife. When she was still able to walk, he would take her out for these walks. He liked for her to get some sun. They lived on a busy street. I\u2019m sure it was kind of funny because here you have this slight man, who\u2019s darting back and forth to stay on the outside of his wife, because he didn\u2019t want her to dart into the street and get hit by a car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe kept doing this. On the way, facing him, was this homeless man, obviously dealing with some dementia. He saw this couple walking forward, and this guy was just staring at her\u2014you know, no tact \/ no sense of propriety\u2014just staring and gawking. When Robertson and Muriel came up, this man said: \u201cThat\u2019s good! That\u2019s really good. I like that. That\u2019s good!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven a man, who\u2019s literally losing his mind, knows love when he sees it. That\u2019s the power of a connected marriage. You don\u2019t have to destroy your marriage if you feel disconnected. You might love being married if you can get reconnected, and I believe these things will help you do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, a great word today from Gary Thomas\u2014Part Two of a message that he shared onboard the <em>Love<\/em> <em>Like<\/em> <em>You<\/em> <em>Mean<\/em> <em>It<\/em> marriage cruise. Let me just encourage our listeners\u2014if you missed any portion of Gary\u2019s message, you can download these programs from <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Just go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to download. Let me also mention the new FamilyLife app that is available. If you go to the app store for your phone, whether it\u2019s Android or iOS, and you type in FamilyLife\u2014one word\u2014all one word \/ FamilyLife\u2014the FamilyLife app will be right there. Download it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s free. It gives you quick, easy access to everything we make available, here at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s really a good app, Bob. I want to encourage our listeners to get it because it will make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> available to you regardless of where you are. You can just listen to it on your smartphone or your iPad<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014it really is a great resource.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Gary has reminded us of, here on the broadcast today, is Galatians, Chapter 6, verse 9\u2014it says, \u201cAnd let us not grow weary of doing good for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.\u201d What Gary\u2019s talking about is\u2014even if your spouse is going through what has become seasons \/ not just a brief period of suffering, but going through something on an ongoing basis\u2014you\u2019re thinking, \u201cHow do I keep doing good here?\u201d the Scripture says, \u201cLet us not lose heart in well-doing for in due time\u201d\u2014there is a God who sees. He may not reward you in the way you think He ought to reward you, but you will be reaping blessings as a result. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKeep on loving your spouse regardless of what they\u2019re going through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gary has written a book called <em>A Life-long Love, <\/em>where he explores what it is that causes marriages to drift toward isolation rather than the daily choices we can make in a marriage to grow closer together. We\u2019ve got copies of that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. If you\u2019re interested in a copy of Gary\u2019s book, or if you\u2019d like to listen to a conversation we had with Gary a while back on this subject, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and you can either listen to those past programs or you can order a copy of the book, <em>A Lifelong Love<\/em>. Of course, if you missed any of Gary\u2019s message this week on <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>you can listen online. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to mention the new FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you go to your app store, either for your iPhone or for your Android phone, look for FamilyLife\u2014put it all in as one word. Our app should pop up at the top of the list. Download it for free. It gives you quick, easy access to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>radio programs, articles, resources\u2014the things you\u2019re looking for, available when you need them, and easy to find right on your smartphone or on your portable device. Again, go to the app store and look for FamilyLife\u2014all one word\u2014to download the new FamilyLife app. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, be sure to make plans to join us on the <em>Love<\/em> <em>Like<\/em> <em>You<\/em> <em>Mean<\/em> <em>It<\/em> marriage cruise in 2017. Valentine\u2019s week, we\u2019ll leave from New Orleans on February 13<sup>th<\/sup>. We\u2019ll travel through the western Caribbean. With us onboard will be Kevin DeYoung, Paul David Tripp, H.B. Charles, Jeremy Camp is going to along\u2014David Phelps is going to be with us,\u00a0 and Michael, Jr. We\u2019ve got a great lineup for the cruise, and we\u2019re about half sold-out at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got some special rates for balcony cabins this week and next week when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get more details. So give us a call and plan to join us. Again, call 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Lysa TerKeurst, who was also with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise this year. She\u2019s got some counsel for wives about what you can do to capture your husband\u2019s heart. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303904"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303904"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303904"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303904"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}