{"id":303898,"date":"2016-03-03T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-03T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/finding-freedom-from-shame\/"},"modified":"2016-03-03T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-03T17:00:00","slug":"finding-freedom-from-shame","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-freedom-from-shame\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Freedom From Shame"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sexual abuse survivor Nicole Braddock Bromley recalls the moment when she told her mother about being sexually abused by her stepfather.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-03.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.78M","filesize_raw":"23884290","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2873,2093],"tags":[4374],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3409],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303898","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","category-women","tag-sexual-abuse","cwp_profile-nicole-braddock-bromley","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303898\/finding-freedom-from-shame","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303898\/finding-freedom-from-shame","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2EpILVCboa\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-freedom-from-shame\/\">Finding Freedom From Shame<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-freedom-from-shame\/embed\/#?secret=2EpILVCboa\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding Freedom From Shame&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2EpILVCboa\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Nicole Bromley remembers the day clearly when she spoke up\u2014told the truth \/ came clean\u2014told her mother about how her stepfather was sexually abusing her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>We were in the car\u2014my mom and I alone. My mom began to express to me for the first time that she might not have been as happily married as I thought she was. She said to me that she was afraid of him. Then, she said: \u201cHe has been acting so weird lately. Has he done anything strange around you?\u201d\u00a0 I knew that, if I was ever going to tell my mom, this was the time; and I took it.<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Ephesians, Chapter 5, [verse 11] says, \u201cTake no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is what Nicole Bromley decided to do. Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. You have already shared this week, Dennis, the statistic that one in three girls, before the age of 18, will experience some kind of sexual abuse as they are growing up. And for boys, the number is one in six who will experience sexual abuse before they turn 18. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember having a conversation with Dr. Dan Allender on this subject years ago. He said it really depends on how you define abuse\u2014what those statistics are\u2014because he said there are a lot of girls in their teen years who are sexually abused by boyfriends who become more aggressive than they ought. He said, \u201cFrankly, at some level, in the culture today, there is sexual abuse that\u2019s taking place all around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll you have to do is turn on your television and watch a few hours of prime time; and by the time you\u2019re done, you have been sexually abused.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. As a result, there are all kinds of impact on interpersonal relationships occurring between girls and guys; and they have no idea what is going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014Nicole Bromley, who has written a book called <em>Breathe<\/em>. Nicole, as I welcome you back, I want you to explain the title of the book, <em>Breathe<\/em>, because earlier you shared how your stepfather\u2014over a period of ten years, beginning at the age of 5\u2014sexually abused you. You finally told your mom when you were about 15 years of age. That resulted in your stepfather\u2019s suicide a week later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am just wondering here\u2014as you share this title\u2014how much of it is tied to what you experienced as a result of sharing the truth with your mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong><em>Breathe<\/em> is all about the fact that sexual abuse survivors feel like they can\u2019t breathe. I mean, when we keep this secret of sexual abuse\u2014which most survivors do\u2014it\u2019s almost like we are not able to really freely engage with the world around us. We are not able to breathe deeply. We are not able to engage in relationships the way God meant them to be. We are suffocating ourselves because we are keeping this secret. It is impacting everything in our life\u2014our choices \/ our relationships\u2014everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Breathe <\/em>is about finding that freedom to just thrive. For me, I think that I was able to get my first real breath when I told my mom at 14. Her belief in me helped me to be able to breathe freely\u2014to know I am not alone, to know that I am safe now, and to know I can be free of the shame that I carried for so long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was the beginning of a healing process for me and finding my breath again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We talked about Dr. Dan Allender and his writing and counseling on this subject at the beginning of today\u2019s program. I think it would be helpful for you and for our listeners just to hear a part of the conversation we had with him on this subject. He has written on it extensively and has done a lot of personal counseling and workshop counseling with folks who are victims of sexual abuse. His insights, I think, help give us a broader perspective on what is going on in the human soul when sexual abuse is happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan Allender: <\/strong>Whenever we are dealing with that topic, it brings up such strong emotions that it is easy to either run from it or miss the reality of it. The issue of abuse can be put very simply. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhenever a child or adolescent is used by a powerful child or older adult, then, we have the reality of sexual abuse. There are a lot of people who have been involved in physical contact\u2014that would have been abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the strong points we have made already is it can also be interactions that did not involve any touch whatsoever\u2014an uncle who comes into a place where a child is showering, clearly for the sake of ogling her body.\u00a0 He observes\u2014it\u2019s not a mistake \/ it\u2019s not an error\u2014but indeed, he doesn\u2019t leave \/ he watches. What we are dealing with is not just a \u201cdirty old man\u201d but a man who has the effect of damaging that child\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>From a Christian perspective, our response, as we look into the Bible, means we need to take these circumstances\u2014that perhaps we had nothing to do with, that we didn\u2019t invite, that we didn\u2019t cause\u2014but use these circumstances to move us toward God and toward knowing Him and knowing His Word better; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. That is the whole point of the Scriptures taking us into reality. So often, sadly, the Scriptures have been used to deny the fact. So many of the people I work with have been told: \u201cJust forget about it. Don\u2019t even think about it. Just get on. Just press on,\u201d\u2014which is really a misunderstanding of that Philippians 3 passage, where Paul does talk about not lingering in the past\u2014but what he is underscoring is not lingering in the past of remembering a basis of self-righteousness but moving on to the high call of maturity in Christ. A whole lot of believers are told they ought not remember\/ they ought not have those memories\u2014they ought to move away from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you saying they need to enter into those memories at some level?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely!\u00a0 In other words, you cannot deal with reality by escaping it. That is not biblical. You must enter back into the reality of the damage that was done\u2014the memories that, in fact, circulate through you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are difficult issues because, as we deal with this topic of memory, there is a whole lot of controversy as well as a whole lot of complexity; but I think we can get to some very simple points. One of those points would be: \u201cYou cannot deal with the past by escaping it. You can only deal with the past by entering it and asking some very hard questions about it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it is important that our listeners hear this because the response of the human heart, typically, is to deny that this has ever happened\u2014we push it down in our memory bank. We kind of put it in a jar, and compartmentalize it, and then, screw the lid on top of it. It remains there inside of us, but it is alive; isn\u2019t it, Dan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely. Remember, as we talked about the issue of powerlessness\u2014\u201cI hate to feel helpless. Anything that makes me feel that way, I want to run from.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the other hand, abuse always involves betrayal. So, to open the door to feeling like: \u201cI was a fool for having trusted someone who used me,\u201d\u2014I want to escape that. But that core issue of having felt ambivalent\u2014there was a part that felt aroused \/ a part that felt horrified by what occurred. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat complexity, right there, causes me to want to turn my eyes \/ my thoughts away from what occurred so that I can kind of get on with life\u2014but it lingers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe bear the baggage of the past until we can come to the point like Joseph, who looked at his own past and said, \u201cYou meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.\u201d\u00a0 That is a great paradox; and, yet, I think it is possible for any victim, if they have the courage, to enter back into that damage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know what it is first-hand, though, to suppress memories of sexual abuse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. When I began writing <em>The Wounded Heart<\/em>, I was in the middle of writing it without even facing the fact that I had my own history of abuse. I simply had not done what many victims need to do; and that is, to put 2 plus 2 together\u2014hit the sign that says, \u201cequals,\u201d\u2014and then 4. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had known that I was abused\u2014so many of my memories were very, very clear. As I dealt with those issues, I have also had memories that have come back in particles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of memories will come back like puzzle pieces that aren\u2019t full \/ that aren\u2019t complete. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the questions that I know a lot of our folks are asking is: \u201cWhat do I do with those memories?\u00a0 I have this particle \/ that particle. What do I do with it?\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s crucial to say that you can mishandle it by doing too much with it. You can be worried about it\u2014sitting back and saying: \u201cWas I abused?\u00a0 Does this memory indicate that I might have been abused?\u201d\u00a0 The issue, bottom line, is: \u201cAre you open to the data and what it might point toward?\u201d\u2014not whether you have come to that conclusion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the memories that I knew indicated abuse\u2014I simply did not want to face. There were other memories that had particles that I didn\u2019t want to really explore, to pray about\u2014to ask God: \u201cWhat is this?\u00a0 Why do I remember this memory of being in my grandfather\u2019s tack room?\u201d\u00a0 Yet, I remember part of it; but then, my memory fades. I can\u2019t even, to this day, get a full handle on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what am I to do with that fact?\u00a0 Well, I am not to do much other than to pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAm I open?\u00a0 Psalm 139 [verses 23, 24]\u2014\u201cShow me those secret ways,\u201d\u2014those ways in which I may be moving myself or others toward harm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, once I have those memories \/ some particles, then, I am going to ponder, pray, sometimes journal\u2014think those things through\u2014but then, leave them for God to bring more particles\u2014which He might two weeks from now, two months from now, two years from now. I am not to over-generalize \/ I am not to overwork them; but I am to honestly look at them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You shouldn\u2019t necessarily, then, go to a counselor and get him to help you unveil those secret \/ those hidden places?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, I don\u2019t think any counselor is a soothsayer. I am a therapist, but I don\u2019t, so-call, tell people what their memories are. I help them think through the <em>themes<\/em> of their lives. That is one of the reasons we look at the past\u2014is that the past makes clearer something about my present. That is why I want to look at the themes of my own life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the themes of my life has been\u2014it is easy for me to isolate and to isolate in the context of reading books. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, as I look at that path of isolation, I can also look back to the fact that the way I handled some of the struggles of my past was to sequester myself\u2014put myself in a position where I didn\u2019t have to deal with people because people were so very, very painful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou look at the themes of the present\u2014looking, then, to the past to see what confirmation \/ what categories would help me better understand what is going on today. But we never go to the past \/ we never go to memories\u2014bottom line\u2014to justify what I have chosen to do with my past. My past doesn\u2019t explain me nor excuse me; but it opens the door to better <em>understand<\/em> what it means to change <em>today<\/em>\u2014what it means to really face the fact that, \u201cYes, with the damage of past abuse, something inside of me said, \u2018I am never going to trust again,\u2019\u201d\u2014back to that idea of a clenched fist that says, \u201cGiven how I have been harmed, I am not going to allow myself to be harmed again.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that needs to be repented of. We are right back to \u201cWhat can I do with the past?\u201d\u00a0 Nothing!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what I can do with the past is allow it to help me see the energy and the demands I make upon God today and others today that really does not have a consistent path of living for the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That is helpful, I think, just to hear Dan Allender\u2019s perspective on this subject and to hear how we process this when it is a part of our life. Nicole, I am wondering\u2014in your situation, where you were the victim of childhood sexual abuse, perpetrated upon you by your stepfather\u2014do you find yourself looking back at the past and going: \u201cWhere was God in all of this?\u201d\u00a0 I mean: \u201cGood God \/ unspeakable horror\u2014how do I put the two of those together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Yes. Well, for me, I think a lot of this wrestling came as a teenager. For a long time, I ran from God with these questions: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhere were you, Lord?\u00a0 Why did You abandon me?\u00a0 You are an all-loving, perfect Father. Doesn\u2019t seem like it!\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t You stop it?\u201d\u00a0 Those questions, I think, are typical of anyone who has gone through suffering and pain in their life, and I have heard these questions over and over from others. For me, I wrestled it out as a teenager. And like I said, I ran from God for so long with these questions. It was almost like throwing them behind me as I ran away from Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got to a point where I realized, \u201cIf God is this all-loving Father, He would want us to come to Him with our questions.\u201d\u00a0 That is what dad\u2019s want\u2014they want you to come to him and talk to him about this\u2014to work it out and come to an understanding. So, I decided that was what I was going to try and do, and see who He really was, and what He thought about it. So that is when I began to seek Him. I began to read the Word \/ I began to pray and journal. I used to write out my prayers at night. They would be very hard-core\u2014I mean anger. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wanted His answers \/ I wanted to know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was through that time of crying out to Him\u2014in those lowest moments of hurt, and despair, and feeling betrayed\u2014that I began to see that He was answering me. His Word was speaking to my heart. Worship songs were speaking to me in a way and comforting me in a way that nothing else could. I began to feel safe. I never felt safe my entire life. I saw that He was bringing people into my life that were making a difference\u2014that I could trust \/ that I could talk to. I wanted to give credit to where it was due, and I knew that it was Him who was meeting me in those moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you still don\u2019t have an answer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>No\u2014and that\u2019s the thing. I\u2019ve had to live with the unanswered questions because the fact is\u2014we live in a dying, hurting, fallen, messed-up world. Sin is happening all around us. There is going to be pain and suffering. We have to acknowledge that and acknowledge that we aren\u2019t God; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in the midst of all of that, God cares about us. He cares about the hurts that come from the sin of others. I think that there is purpose beyond our pain, and I am willing to seek that. And the things I don\u2019t know the answers to\u2014I am okay with because God is my Father and He saved me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, Nicole; you are admitting that you have questions \/ you\u2019ve got doubts still unanswered as you have gone through the process; but you made just a very quick statement, saying, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t trade your life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>No, I wouldn\u2019t. No, because the God of this entire universe has allowed me to go through the things I have gone through to create me into the person that I am today. I have a heart to help people \/ I have a heart for justice\u2014I have a heart to love others who feel unlovable. Had I never gone through the things that I had, I don\u2019t think I would have that kind of compassion for others. This is the life that I have been given. I am going to do the best with it that I can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You are not going to let the evil that occurred to you define you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Exactly. So many times, people say to me, \u201cWhat is it like to be known as a sexual abuse survivor to so many people around the world who do not know you?\u201d\u00a0 To me, it is not about that\u2014that is not my identity \/ it is not who I am\u2014it is what happened to me. Yes, it will affect me for the rest of my life; and yes, I speak about it all the time\u2014but it is not who I am to my core. I have had to come to understand who I am in Christ. That is what has really grounded me and kept me\u2014kept my head above water, to be honest\u2014to be able to be free to breathe in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the evil that has been done to me does not define me; but I can use it \/ I can let God use it\u2014surrender all of that to Him to make it into something beautiful. I believe He\u2019ll do that in anyone\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is not just about receiving healing from that which occurred to you; you\u2019ve actually turned it around into the offensive, where you are going out to help people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are going on the college campus to speak to groups of young ladies, who are victims of date rape and sexual abuse. As a result, what are you finding out as you tell your story?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Every time I share my secret, I find myself in a room full of secrets. You know, the faces \/ the stories might look different; but the fact is still the same that there are thousands and thousands of young men and women, who are silently suffering from the pain of sexual violence\u2014whether it be date rape, harassment, childhood sexual abuse, sex trafficking. All of these kinds of issues are affecting us. The numbers are staggering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, I don\u2019t think it is just me who is called to be on the offensive\u2014to just receive healing and just sit on it. I think it is taking advantage of what God has given us. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 says that we are called to comfort others with the same comfort we have received from God. To just receive the Lord\u2019s healing and just be grateful for that, I think, isn\u2019t enough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have got to reach out into the next life and change the next generation. That is our call as Kingdom people\u2014is to impact the lives around us. God created us for relationship; and we have got to create an atmosphere in our churches, in our schools, in our families, in our communities, and our work places, where we are willing to reach out to the next person with what we know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know\u2014Nicole, I really like what you said. I also like what you are doing here. You are going on the offensive to help others who have been damaged. People, today, need a safe place. The church\u2014a community of believers\u2014ought to be a trustworthy community to be able to get real and get honest about how we\u2019ve been impacted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014by sin and by evil. Your authenticity, I think, helps create some of that safety if there are some relationships that can surround a person who is getting real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf they get real, in response to what you are talking about\u2014and there aren\u2019t good people surrounding them\u2014that can be dangerous as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Yes; exactly. I think we have to cultivate relationship. We have to acknowledge the impact we can have in the life of another person. Just as one abusive relationship can completely distort a child\u2019s development, so can one healthy adult relationship really set a broken person on a path for healing. I think, if anything, that is what my second book, <em>Breathe<\/em>, is all about. It is encouraging people to be a part of that circle of support\u2014I call it a \u201cCircle of Inspiration\u201d because they are literally breathing life into these broken people, who have been living in silence for so long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey need people to come alongside them. They need good, healthy parents, who are willing to hear this secret, and be willing to stand beside their children, and help walk them through healing. They need friends. They need mentors and counselors. They need fellow followers of Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike you said, the church is such an important role\u2014the example that the church can set on this issue alone is huge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I really like how you put that\u2014where if one person can bring evil to another person, so it is that God can use one person to bring healing and hope to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>I have seen that in my life. My mom was the first one, but there have been many others who just compounded that for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, to that person who is listening to this story today\u2014and they may have had some unspeakable evil done to them, and they may feel imprisoned, and they haven\u2019t brought their secret out yet\u2014the hope for them dealing with their secret and receiving that healing and redemption is, I think, the body of Christ\u2014a community of believers \/ safe Christians\u2014or beginning with just one, like you talked about, who is trustworthy to be able to share your story with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that may take an enormous amount of courage, Bob; but it is where Nicole found hope, and ultimately, healing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is where others can as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you stop and think about the ministry of Jesus toward the broken\u2014it was always compassion, and love, and grace, and restoring what was broken in their lives. That ought to be our response, as followers of Christ, when we hear about the brokenness of other people in the body of Christ\u2014is to be ministers of compassion, and grace, and healing, and hope, and restoration for those who have gone through the kind of experience that you have gone through, Nicole. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, frankly, the books you have written give us tools we can use. So that, when I hear about somebody who has experienced childhood sexual abuse and the scars are still there, these are books I can put in their hands and say, \u201cI think you will find help and hope here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first book Nicole has written is called <em>Hush<\/em>, and it recounts a lot of the story that you have shared with us this week. Then, the second book is called <em>Breathe<\/em>: <em>Finding Freedom to Thrive in Relationships After Childhood Sexual Abuse<\/em>. We have both books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can request copies of these books from us. Again, FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. You can also contact us by phone at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. Ask about the books by Nicole Bromley, and we will let you know how you can have copies of them sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to take just a minute, Dennis, and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those listeners who make programs like we featured today possible. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. If it weren\u2019t for listeners\u2014who pitch in occasionally or those who become Legacy Partners and help sponsor this program each month\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we could not do the work that we do, here at FamilyLife. And we are grateful for those of you who partner with us in this effort. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are celebrating, this year, our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry; but it\u2019s really not our anniversary that we want to focus on this year. It\u2019s all of the anniversaries that you\u2019ve had, and that your neighbors have had, and that friends of yours have had because God has used <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in some way to impact your life or the lives of those around you\u2014the events that people have been to, the resources, this program, our website. We really are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries. You guys help make that possible when you support this ministry. So, \u201cThank you for your financial support.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to help you celebrate your anniversary in a very special way this year\u2014we\u2019ve got some ideas for you. In fact, if you\u2019ll go online and give us your anniversary date\u2014as your anniversary draws near, we\u2019ll send you some\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just some ideas on things you can do to make it a special day for you and your spouse. Again, you can give us the information at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Nicole Bromley about how her experience of childhood sexual abuse impacted her life as an adult. Hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.78M"],"filesize_raw":["23884290"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303898.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303898.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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abuse survivor Nicole Braddock Bromley recalls the moment when she told her mother about being sexually abused by her stepfather.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-03-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Nicole Bromley remembers the day clearly when she spoke up\u2014told the truth \/ came clean\u2014told her mother about how her stepfather was sexually abusing her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>We were in the car\u2014my mom and I alone. My mom began to express to me for the first time that she might not have been as happily married as I thought she was. She said to me that she was afraid of him. Then, she said: \u201cHe has been acting so weird lately. Has he done anything strange around you?\u201d\u00a0 I knew that, if I was ever going to tell my mom, this was the time; and I took it.<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 3<sup>rd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Ephesians, Chapter 5, [verse 11] says, \u201cTake no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is what Nicole Bromley decided to do. Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. You have already shared this week, Dennis, the statistic that one in three girls, before the age of 18, will experience some kind of sexual abuse as they are growing up. And for boys, the number is one in six who will experience sexual abuse before they turn 18. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember having a conversation with Dr. Dan Allender on this subject years ago. He said it really depends on how you define abuse\u2014what those statistics are\u2014because he said there are a lot of girls in their teen years who are sexually abused by boyfriends who become more aggressive than they ought. He said, \u201cFrankly, at some level, in the culture today, there is sexual abuse that\u2019s taking place all around us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll you have to do is turn on your television and watch a few hours of prime time; and by the time you\u2019re done, you have been sexually abused.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. As a result, there are all kinds of impact on interpersonal relationships occurring between girls and guys; and they have no idea what is going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014Nicole Bromley, who has written a book called <em>Breathe<\/em>. Nicole, as I welcome you back, I want you to explain the title of the book, <em>Breathe<\/em>, because earlier you shared how your stepfather\u2014over a period of ten years, beginning at the age of 5\u2014sexually abused you. You finally told your mom when you were about 15 years of age. That resulted in your stepfather\u2019s suicide a week later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am just wondering here\u2014as you share this title\u2014how much of it is tied to what you experienced as a result of sharing the truth with your mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong><em>Breathe<\/em> is all about the fact that sexual abuse survivors feel like they can\u2019t breathe. I mean, when we keep this secret of sexual abuse\u2014which most survivors do\u2014it\u2019s almost like we are not able to really freely engage with the world around us. We are not able to breathe deeply. We are not able to engage in relationships the way God meant them to be. We are suffocating ourselves because we are keeping this secret. It is impacting everything in our life\u2014our choices \/ our relationships\u2014everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Breathe <\/em>is about finding that freedom to just thrive. For me, I think that I was able to get my first real breath when I told my mom at 14. Her belief in me helped me to be able to breathe freely\u2014to know I am not alone, to know that I am safe now, and to know I can be free of the shame that I carried for so long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was the beginning of a healing process for me and finding my breath again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We talked about Dr. Dan Allender and his writing and counseling on this subject at the beginning of today\u2019s program. I think it would be helpful for you and for our listeners just to hear a part of the conversation we had with him on this subject. He has written on it extensively and has done a lot of personal counseling and workshop counseling with folks who are victims of sexual abuse. His insights, I think, help give us a broader perspective on what is going on in the human soul when sexual abuse is happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan Allender: <\/strong>Whenever we are dealing with that topic, it brings up such strong emotions that it is easy to either run from it or miss the reality of it. The issue of abuse can be put very simply. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhenever a child or adolescent is used by a powerful child or older adult, then, we have the reality of sexual abuse. There are a lot of people who have been involved in physical contact\u2014that would have been abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the strong points we have made already is it can also be interactions that did not involve any touch whatsoever\u2014an uncle who comes into a place where a child is showering, clearly for the sake of ogling her body.\u00a0 He observes\u2014it\u2019s not a mistake \/ it\u2019s not an error\u2014but indeed, he doesn\u2019t leave \/ he watches. What we are dealing with is not just a \u201cdirty old man\u201d but a man who has the effect of damaging that child\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>From a Christian perspective, our response, as we look into the Bible, means we need to take these circumstances\u2014that perhaps we had nothing to do with, that we didn\u2019t invite, that we didn\u2019t cause\u2014but use these circumstances to move us toward God and toward knowing Him and knowing His Word better; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. That is the whole point of the Scriptures taking us into reality. So often, sadly, the Scriptures have been used to deny the fact. So many of the people I work with have been told: \u201cJust forget about it. Don\u2019t even think about it. Just get on. Just press on,\u201d\u2014which is really a misunderstanding of that Philippians 3 passage, where Paul does talk about not lingering in the past\u2014but what he is underscoring is not lingering in the past of remembering a basis of self-righteousness but moving on to the high call of maturity in Christ. A whole lot of believers are told they ought not remember\/ they ought not have those memories\u2014they ought to move away from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you saying they need to enter into those memories at some level?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely!\u00a0 In other words, you cannot deal with reality by escaping it. That is not biblical. You must enter back into the reality of the damage that was done\u2014the memories that, in fact, circulate through you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are difficult issues because, as we deal with this topic of memory, there is a whole lot of controversy as well as a whole lot of complexity; but I think we can get to some very simple points. One of those points would be: \u201cYou cannot deal with the past by escaping it. You can only deal with the past by entering it and asking some very hard questions about it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it is important that our listeners hear this because the response of the human heart, typically, is to deny that this has ever happened\u2014we push it down in our memory bank. We kind of put it in a jar, and compartmentalize it, and then, screw the lid on top of it. It remains there inside of us, but it is alive; isn\u2019t it, Dan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely. Remember, as we talked about the issue of powerlessness\u2014\u201cI hate to feel helpless. Anything that makes me feel that way, I want to run from.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the other hand, abuse always involves betrayal. So, to open the door to feeling like: \u201cI was a fool for having trusted someone who used me,\u201d\u2014I want to escape that. But that core issue of having felt ambivalent\u2014there was a part that felt aroused \/ a part that felt horrified by what occurred. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat complexity, right there, causes me to want to turn my eyes \/ my thoughts away from what occurred so that I can kind of get on with life\u2014but it lingers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe bear the baggage of the past until we can come to the point like Joseph, who looked at his own past and said, \u201cYou meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.\u201d\u00a0 That is a great paradox; and, yet, I think it is possible for any victim, if they have the courage, to enter back into that damage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know what it is first-hand, though, to suppress memories of sexual abuse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. When I began writing <em>The Wounded Heart<\/em>, I was in the middle of writing it without even facing the fact that I had my own history of abuse. I simply had not done what many victims need to do; and that is, to put 2 plus 2 together\u2014hit the sign that says, \u201cequals,\u201d\u2014and then 4. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had known that I was abused\u2014so many of my memories were very, very clear. As I dealt with those issues, I have also had memories that have come back in particles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of memories will come back like puzzle pieces that aren\u2019t full \/ that aren\u2019t complete. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the questions that I know a lot of our folks are asking is: \u201cWhat do I do with those memories?\u00a0 I have this particle \/ that particle. What do I do with it?\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s crucial to say that you can mishandle it by doing too much with it. You can be worried about it\u2014sitting back and saying: \u201cWas I abused?\u00a0 Does this memory indicate that I might have been abused?\u201d\u00a0 The issue, bottom line, is: \u201cAre you open to the data and what it might point toward?\u201d\u2014not whether you have come to that conclusion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the memories that I knew indicated abuse\u2014I simply did not want to face. There were other memories that had particles that I didn\u2019t want to really explore, to pray about\u2014to ask God: \u201cWhat is this?\u00a0 Why do I remember this memory of being in my grandfather\u2019s tack room?\u201d\u00a0 Yet, I remember part of it; but then, my memory fades. I can\u2019t even, to this day, get a full handle on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what am I to do with that fact?\u00a0 Well, I am not to do much other than to pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAm I open?\u00a0 Psalm 139 [verses 23, 24]\u2014\u201cShow me those secret ways,\u201d\u2014those ways in which I may be moving myself or others toward harm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, once I have those memories \/ some particles, then, I am going to ponder, pray, sometimes journal\u2014think those things through\u2014but then, leave them for God to bring more particles\u2014which He might two weeks from now, two months from now, two years from now. I am not to over-generalize \/ I am not to overwork them; but I am to honestly look at them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You shouldn\u2019t necessarily, then, go to a counselor and get him to help you unveil those secret \/ those hidden places?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Well, I don\u2019t think any counselor is a soothsayer. I am a therapist, but I don\u2019t, so-call, tell people what their memories are. I help them think through the <em>themes<\/em> of their lives. That is one of the reasons we look at the past\u2014is that the past makes clearer something about my present. That is why I want to look at the themes of my own life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the themes of my life has been\u2014it is easy for me to isolate and to isolate in the context of reading books. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, as I look at that path of isolation, I can also look back to the fact that the way I handled some of the struggles of my past was to sequester myself\u2014put myself in a position where I didn\u2019t have to deal with people because people were so very, very painful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou look at the themes of the present\u2014looking, then, to the past to see what confirmation \/ what categories would help me better understand what is going on today. But we never go to the past \/ we never go to memories\u2014bottom line\u2014to justify what I have chosen to do with my past. My past doesn\u2019t explain me nor excuse me; but it opens the door to better <em>understand<\/em> what it means to change <em>today<\/em>\u2014what it means to really face the fact that, \u201cYes, with the damage of past abuse, something inside of me said, \u2018I am never going to trust again,\u2019\u201d\u2014back to that idea of a clenched fist that says, \u201cGiven how I have been harmed, I am not going to allow myself to be harmed again.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that needs to be repented of. We are right back to \u201cWhat can I do with the past?\u201d\u00a0 Nothing!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what I can do with the past is allow it to help me see the energy and the demands I make upon God today and others today that really does not have a consistent path of living for the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That is helpful, I think, just to hear Dan Allender\u2019s perspective on this subject and to hear how we process this when it is a part of our life. Nicole, I am wondering\u2014in your situation, where you were the victim of childhood sexual abuse, perpetrated upon you by your stepfather\u2014do you find yourself looking back at the past and going: \u201cWhere was God in all of this?\u201d\u00a0 I mean: \u201cGood God \/ unspeakable horror\u2014how do I put the two of those together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Yes. Well, for me, I think a lot of this wrestling came as a teenager. For a long time, I ran from God with these questions: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhere were you, Lord?\u00a0 Why did You abandon me?\u00a0 You are an all-loving, perfect Father. Doesn\u2019t seem like it!\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t You stop it?\u201d\u00a0 Those questions, I think, are typical of anyone who has gone through suffering and pain in their life, and I have heard these questions over and over from others. For me, I wrestled it out as a teenager. And like I said, I ran from God for so long with these questions. It was almost like throwing them behind me as I ran away from Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got to a point where I realized, \u201cIf God is this all-loving Father, He would want us to come to Him with our questions.\u201d\u00a0 That is what dad\u2019s want\u2014they want you to come to him and talk to him about this\u2014to work it out and come to an understanding. So, I decided that was what I was going to try and do, and see who He really was, and what He thought about it. So that is when I began to seek Him. I began to read the Word \/ I began to pray and journal. I used to write out my prayers at night. They would be very hard-core\u2014I mean anger. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wanted His answers \/ I wanted to know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was through that time of crying out to Him\u2014in those lowest moments of hurt, and despair, and feeling betrayed\u2014that I began to see that He was answering me. His Word was speaking to my heart. Worship songs were speaking to me in a way and comforting me in a way that nothing else could. I began to feel safe. I never felt safe my entire life. I saw that He was bringing people into my life that were making a difference\u2014that I could trust \/ that I could talk to. I wanted to give credit to where it was due, and I knew that it was Him who was meeting me in those moments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you still don\u2019t have an answer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>No\u2014and that\u2019s the thing. I\u2019ve had to live with the unanswered questions because the fact is\u2014we live in a dying, hurting, fallen, messed-up world. Sin is happening all around us. There is going to be pain and suffering. We have to acknowledge that and acknowledge that we aren\u2019t God; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in the midst of all of that, God cares about us. He cares about the hurts that come from the sin of others. I think that there is purpose beyond our pain, and I am willing to seek that. And the things I don\u2019t know the answers to\u2014I am okay with because God is my Father and He saved me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, Nicole; you are admitting that you have questions \/ you\u2019ve got doubts still unanswered as you have gone through the process; but you made just a very quick statement, saying, \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t trade your life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>No, I wouldn\u2019t. No, because the God of this entire universe has allowed me to go through the things I have gone through to create me into the person that I am today. I have a heart to help people \/ I have a heart for justice\u2014I have a heart to love others who feel unlovable. Had I never gone through the things that I had, I don\u2019t think I would have that kind of compassion for others. This is the life that I have been given. I am going to do the best with it that I can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You are not going to let the evil that occurred to you define you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Exactly. So many times, people say to me, \u201cWhat is it like to be known as a sexual abuse survivor to so many people around the world who do not know you?\u201d\u00a0 To me, it is not about that\u2014that is not my identity \/ it is not who I am\u2014it is what happened to me. Yes, it will affect me for the rest of my life; and yes, I speak about it all the time\u2014but it is not who I am to my core. I have had to come to understand who I am in Christ. That is what has really grounded me and kept me\u2014kept my head above water, to be honest\u2014to be able to be free to breathe in my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the evil that has been done to me does not define me; but I can use it \/ I can let God use it\u2014surrender all of that to Him to make it into something beautiful. I believe He\u2019ll do that in anyone\u2019s life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is not just about receiving healing from that which occurred to you; you\u2019ve actually turned it around into the offensive, where you are going out to help people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are going on the college campus to speak to groups of young ladies, who are victims of date rape and sexual abuse. As a result, what are you finding out as you tell your story?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Every time I share my secret, I find myself in a room full of secrets. You know, the faces \/ the stories might look different; but the fact is still the same that there are thousands and thousands of young men and women, who are silently suffering from the pain of sexual violence\u2014whether it be date rape, harassment, childhood sexual abuse, sex trafficking. All of these kinds of issues are affecting us. The numbers are staggering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, I don\u2019t think it is just me who is called to be on the offensive\u2014to just receive healing and just sit on it. I think it is taking advantage of what God has given us. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 says that we are called to comfort others with the same comfort we have received from God. To just receive the Lord\u2019s healing and just be grateful for that, I think, isn\u2019t enough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have got to reach out into the next life and change the next generation. That is our call as Kingdom people\u2014is to impact the lives around us. God created us for relationship; and we have got to create an atmosphere in our churches, in our schools, in our families, in our communities, and our work places, where we are willing to reach out to the next person with what we know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know\u2014Nicole, I really like what you said. I also like what you are doing here. You are going on the offensive to help others who have been damaged. People, today, need a safe place. The church\u2014a community of believers\u2014ought to be a trustworthy community to be able to get real and get honest about how we\u2019ve been impacted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014by sin and by evil. Your authenticity, I think, helps create some of that safety if there are some relationships that can surround a person who is getting real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf they get real, in response to what you are talking about\u2014and there aren\u2019t good people surrounding them\u2014that can be dangerous as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>Yes; exactly. I think we have to cultivate relationship. We have to acknowledge the impact we can have in the life of another person. Just as one abusive relationship can completely distort a child\u2019s development, so can one healthy adult relationship really set a broken person on a path for healing. I think, if anything, that is what my second book, <em>Breathe<\/em>, is all about. It is encouraging people to be a part of that circle of support\u2014I call it a \u201cCircle of Inspiration\u201d because they are literally breathing life into these broken people, who have been living in silence for so long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey need people to come alongside them. They need good, healthy parents, who are willing to hear this secret, and be willing to stand beside their children, and help walk them through healing. They need friends. They need mentors and counselors. They need fellow followers of Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike you said, the church is such an important role\u2014the example that the church can set on this issue alone is huge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I really like how you put that\u2014where if one person can bring evil to another person, so it is that God can use one person to bring healing and hope to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nicole: <\/strong>I have seen that in my life. My mom was the first one, but there have been many others who just compounded that for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, to that person who is listening to this story today\u2014and they may have had some unspeakable evil done to them, and they may feel imprisoned, and they haven\u2019t brought their secret out yet\u2014the hope for them dealing with their secret and receiving that healing and redemption is, I think, the body of Christ\u2014a community of believers \/ safe Christians\u2014or beginning with just one, like you talked about, who is trustworthy to be able to share your story with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that may take an enormous amount of courage, Bob; but it is where Nicole found hope, and ultimately, healing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is where others can as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you stop and think about the ministry of Jesus toward the broken\u2014it was always compassion, and love, and grace, and restoring what was broken in their lives. That ought to be our response, as followers of Christ, when we hear about the brokenness of other people in the body of Christ\u2014is to be ministers of compassion, and grace, and healing, and hope, and restoration for those who have gone through the kind of experience that you have gone through, Nicole. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, frankly, the books you have written give us tools we can use. So that, when I hear about somebody who has experienced childhood sexual abuse and the scars are still there, these are books I can put in their hands and say, \u201cI think you will find help and hope here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first book Nicole has written is called <em>Hush<\/em>, and it recounts a lot of the story that you have shared with us this week. Then, the second book is called <em>Breathe<\/em>: <em>Finding Freedom to Thrive in Relationships After Childhood Sexual Abuse<\/em>. We have both books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can request copies of these books from us. Again, FamilyLifeToday.com is our website. You can also contact us by phone at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. Ask about the books by Nicole Bromley, and we will let you know how you can have copies of them sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to take just a minute, Dennis, and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those listeners who make programs like we featured today possible. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. If it weren\u2019t for listeners\u2014who pitch in occasionally or those who become Legacy Partners and help sponsor this program each month\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we could not do the work that we do, here at FamilyLife. And we are grateful for those of you who partner with us in this effort. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are celebrating, this year, our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry; but it\u2019s really not our anniversary that we want to focus on this year. It\u2019s all of the anniversaries that you\u2019ve had, and that your neighbors have had, and that friends of yours have had because God has used <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in some way to impact your life or the lives of those around you\u2014the events that people have been to, the resources, this program, our website. We really are the Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries. You guys help make that possible when you support this ministry. So, \u201cThank you for your financial support.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to help you celebrate your anniversary in a very special way this year\u2014we\u2019ve got some ideas for you. In fact, if you\u2019ll go online and give us your anniversary date\u2014as your anniversary draws near, we\u2019ll send you some\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just some ideas on things you can do to make it a special day for you and your spouse. Again, you can give us the information at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear from Nicole Bromley about how her experience of childhood sexual abuse impacted her life as an adult. Hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303898","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303898"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303898"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303898"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303898"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303898"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303898"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303898"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}