{"id":303882,"date":"2016-02-22T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-02-22T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/parenting-911\/"},"modified":"2016-02-22T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-02-22T17:00:00","slug":"parenting-911","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/parenting-911\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting 911"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chris and Michelle Groff recall the night friends awakened them at 2:30\u00a0a.m. to tell them their son had broken into their car.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-02-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.46M","filesize_raw":"24603239","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2835],"tags":[5332,5924,4465,5961,5962],"podcast_series":[8127],"cwp_profile":[9419,9420],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303882","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-raising-boys","tag-drug-abuse","tag-drug-addiction","tag-drugs","tag-teen-drug-abuse","tag-troubled-teens","podcast_series-parenting-by-design","cwp_profile-chris-groff","cwp_profile-michelle-groff","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303882\/parenting-911","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303882\/parenting-911","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"gfDZghNNLr\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/parenting-911\/\">Parenting 911<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/parenting-911\/embed\/#?secret=gfDZghNNLr\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Parenting 911&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"gfDZghNNLr\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Chris and Michelle Groff recall the night friends awakened them at 2:30\u00a0a.m. to tell them their son had broken into their car.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-02-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is 2:30 in the morning and Chris Groff has just learned that his son\u2014his teenage son\u2014is not home; and in fact, is in trouble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Chris: <\/strong>I call him\u2014I get him on his cell phone. I find him in the median of a road. He\u2019s <em>clearly<\/em> high. He\u2019s got the wildest story\u2014his friend is driving his car, and the police helicopters are chasing it. That is the level that our life had dropped to. I take a deep breath and think: \u201cWait!\u00a0 How did we get there?\u201d\u2014I, backtracking in my mind \/ back to one year old, two year old, three year old\u2014\u201cHow did we get here?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. No parent ever wants to get to the place that Chris and Michelle Groff were, but what can we learn from their experience and from what the Bible has to say about our assignment as parents?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll explore that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I was thinking back\u2014oh, 22\/23 years ago, when we were just getting started on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>I was thinking, \u201cWe probably, back in that day, said, \u2018You know, it\u2019s hard being a parent today.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Well, I would just like to correct that. It was <em>easy<\/em> being a parent back then compared to what it\u2019s like being a parent today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I had that conversation with a friend just a couple of weeks ago, Bob. They were talking about their son going into high school and some of the issues he was going to face in a secular school situation. I just kind of tipped my hat to them, as a couple, because I said, \u201cWhatever we faced, as parents, was <em>nothing<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201ccompared to what our children are now facing,\u201d\u2014because five of our six adult children are married and have a family. There are just a lot of challenges today that you and I didn\u2019t have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a pair of guests with us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014Chris and Michelle Groff join us\u2014who know a little bit about parenting in the midst of some challenges. I\u2019d like to welcome you guys to the broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Thanks so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Thanks\u2014great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Chris and Michelle have been married for 33 years. They have two sons \/ grown sons, and two grandchildren, and have written a book called <em>Parenting by Design<\/em>. And you guys have been parents for over 30 years. When you guys started out, did you think you had it nailed?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>I think I pretty much thought, \u201cIf you love your kids, you\u2019ll know how to parent.\u201d I was completely caught off guard by some of the natural reactions that I had that weren\u2019t always the wisest parenting choices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of the time, I think I was parenting out of needs that I didn\u2019t even realize. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re a counselor\u2014do that for a living\u2014and you guys have been ministering in the area of equipping moms and dads over the years. As I was thinking about the broadcast today, I thought about Psalm 127 [verse 4], which compares children are\u2014\u201cLike arrows in the hands of a warrior so are the children of one\u2019s youth.\u201d I think about that and I think, \u201cThey hand you the arrows; but there is no instruction manual that comes with the arrows at the time, it appears, to teach you how to be an archer.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>You know, each of those arrows has a little bit of a different bend to it\u2014and they fly a little differently. You have to get to know the shaft of your arrows, in fact, in order to be able to hit the target. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. Barbara and I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we were kind of like you, Michelle\u2014kind of felt like: \u201cYes, this is going to be a challenge. We see other people have struggled, but we\u2019ve got it nailed.\u201d\u00a0 Bob, were you the same way when you and Mary Ann started?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, Mary Ann and I had both been camp counselors before we had gotten married. So, I thought parenting was going to be a cinch because, basically, I\u2019d led kids at camp for summers. My approach to parenting was: \u201cIf you can just keep them happy, and singing some songs at the dinner table, and all of that, how hard can that be?\u00a0 They\u2019ll love you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cPiece of cake\u201d; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No doubt about it!\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s not quite the piece of cake that we envisioned. In fact, you all had two sons. It was one of those sons who brought some of his drama home one day that got your attention, big time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s right. When we had our first child, I was winging it. When our youngest son was 16 years old, and we got that knock on the door at 2:30 in the morning, it shattered those dreams\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know\u2014that it would all turn out well and that it would\u2014they\u2019d end up in ivy league schools with great jobs and corner offices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You thought you were doing a pretty good job at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>You know, I don\u2019t know that I even thought about it enough, Dennis. It\u2019s crazy to say that; but I do know that, when we opened the door, and we saw the friend and his son\u2014and they started laying out the events of that particular night, which was just a continuation of some previous pretty wild behavior\u2014I was dumbfounded\u2014just dumbfounded. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the first chapter of the book, Michelle talks about like: \u201cThis is clearly mistaken identity. This could not be our little, toe-headed child that rolled around on our living room rug when he was three years old.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Michelle, let me back this up from this knock on the door that happened back in 2003. How old were your boys at this time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Sixteen and eighteen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And if we had looked at your family from the outside, would we have <em>seen<\/em> any indication that there was any drama going on in the family?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s ironic because this son was an honor roll student\u2014had been on the honor council. I think you would have probably seen a family that was pretty caught in defining their worth in a secular way. Even though we were believers, we wandered away from the foundation of what was important; and I think you would probably see us as your pretty average family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Church-going family\u2014you\u2019re involved in trying to do the right things and point your kids in the right direction\u2014but I\u2019m hearing a little bit of shallowness in all of that. Is that accurate?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Not a little\u2014a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what was getting your attention in those days?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Well, we had been on a pretty good run, honestly\u2014financially\/socially. We were drifting into a purely secular\u2014money, power, beauty, fame\u2014those were the things we were seeking. That\u2019s what our culture was pushing us to, and we were doing pretty well at it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob asked you to take a step back from what happened at 2:30 in the morning in your home. I guess, after hearing you describe kind of the picture of where you were around that time, spiritually-speaking, I\u2019d want to take another question to go backward a bit and say: \u201cWhen did this drift start?\u00a0 Did you start on the right track on your marriage?\u00a0 Were you off on the right journey together, or were you off from the very beginning?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Well, I was not a believer in college; so I sowed some pretty wild oats. In fact, my last semester of my last year\u2014there was kind of a cute girl in my basic music class that I took a shine to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started dating, and it was Michelle. Michelle said, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to keep dating unless you\u2019re a Christian.\u201d\u00a0 Honestly, I didn\u2019t even know what that meant; but I became a believer at that point because I really liked her. I thought, \u201cWell, hey, that\u2019s one entr\u00e9e to Christianity\u201d; right?\u00a0 But by the time we got married, I was on fire. I was heavily involved in our church. I was chairman of the deacon board, and we were really excited about going into life as a Christian couple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Michelle, you\u2019d grown up in a Christian home; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Not exactly. But I think, during high school, became a Christian. I kind of wanted to have my life at the same time. I think that is probably the biggest lesson from this experience\u2014is really God bringing us to a place of surrender that turned out to be a huge blessing, but it was just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014along the way, it\u2019s kind of hard. You have to get the Jaws of Life out and take your hands off of trying to own it yourself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, what you guys are describing\u2014Dennis, I think of a book that a pastor in Kentucky wrote a few years back. Kyle Idleman wrote a book, where he said: \u201cI\u2019m not a fan of Jesus. I\u2019m a follower of Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 He was differentiating between people who are fans and people who are followers. I wonder\u2014it\u2019s a little like I\u2019ve heard you talk about\u2014people, who spiritually \/ well, you\u2019ve called them trans-spiritual. They\u2019re just not really sure what their spiritual identity is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I think the reason we\u2019ve stopped here\u2014is we\u2019re talking about parenting, just around where Chris and Michelle were in their own walks with Christ\u2014is: \u201cThis is how you raise a family today. If you\u2019re not purposefully following Jesus Christ, getting into the Book\u2014and I\u2019m talking about the Bible, at this point \/ the best-selling book in history\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014if you\u2019re not growing, then, you\u2019re not going to be able to point your children in the right way.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When you do get to these teenage years\u2014where the proof is in the pudding and the children have to begin to make their own choices\u2014if they haven\u2019t been exposed to the real disease \/ being a follower of Jesus Christ\u2014then, they are going to be lured away by the world that\u2019s around them. Peer pressure is simply way too powerful \/ way too strong to take \u201ca good family\u201d that\u2019s kind of playing church and expect your kids are going to have that real disease and become a follower of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, if somebody listening, hears Michelle talking about, \u201cInstead of being surrendered to God, I kind of wanted to be a Christian on my own terms,\u201d\u2014how would you respond to that person?\u00a0 What would be your charge to them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I think I\u2019d pay careful attention to what Michelle said under her breath. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said it took a crisis \/ it took hitting a wall. It took some really desperate circumstances to get your attention. I assume yours, too, Chris; is that right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. I mean I think what you are hitting on is this whole concept of blessing. I mean, we have so misused that word; you know?\u00a0 We think\u2014and what pulled us away\u2014I would love to blame it all on peer pressure, but we were terrible examples! I mean, we were chasing money and power\u2014okay; beauty \/ I failed at. [Laughter] We were chasing those things, and we were an example for our kids too. Sure their peers were putting pressure on them, but we didn\u2019t provide that solid anchor that they could come back to and say, \u201cOkay, this is what\u2019s really important.\u201d\u00a0 As we drifted, I think they came with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re talking to Chris and Michelle Groff today. They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Parenting by Design: Discovering God\u2019s Original Design for Your Family<\/em>. Chris\u2014take us to 2:30 in the morning, back in 2003, when you got a knock on your door. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happened?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Okay; so 2:30 in the morning\u2014we\u2019re in bed. The doorbell rings, actually; and I\u2019m going downstairs. Everything that could possibly go wrong is going through my mind because there is no way that, at 2:30 in the morning, the doorbell is every going to be good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Chris: <\/strong>But I didn\u2019t expect <em>that<\/em>. We opened the door, and there was a dad and another 16-year-old standing on the doorstep. They say: \u201cYour son has stolen all the stereo equipment out of my son\u2019s car. He\u2019s with this other kid,\u201d\u2014it was a kid that we weren\u2019t very fond of and had strict instructions, \u201cYou\u2019re not to be hanging with him\u201d; but\u2014\u201cThey\u2019re together. They\u2019re in your son\u2019s car, and they\u2019re running from the police right now.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI take a deep breath and think: \u201cWait!\u00a0 How did we get there?\u201d\u2014I, backtracking in my mind \/ back to one year old, two year old, three year old\u2014\u201cHow did we get here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I call him\u2014I get him on his cell phone. I find him on the median of a road. He\u2019s <em>clearly<\/em> high. He\u2019s got the wildest story. His friend is driving his car, and the police helicopter is chasing it. That\u2019s the level that our life had dropped to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Where did you think your son was at 2:30 in the morning?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Spending the night with another friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>He was at another friend\u2019s house\u2014so, initially, I said: \u201cNo. He\u2019s not with him. He\u2019s spending the night out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. And this was just, Michelle, the beginning of uncovering what had been, I guess, a hidden part \/ a secret part of his life for a period of time; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what did you find out as you started to dig in here?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Michelle: <\/strong>It was like Pandora\u2019s box; you know?\u00a0 I think God was gracious\u2014and I don\u2019t know if I could have handled knowing everything that had been going on all at once. But as Chris is describing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014when Chris came back upstairs, I was like: \u201cWell, that\u2019s\u2014they\u2019ve got the wrong kid. That\u2019s just ridiculous!\u201d\u00a0 I thought it was laughable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd having, over the course of the next 24-hours, uncovered what had been going on\u2014a lot of the deceit and drug use\u2014it just was something that kind of unfolded. You realize: \u201cWow!\u00a0 This isn\u2019t just, obviously, one kind of night of shenanigans. This is a pattern of behavior.\u201d\u00a0 Yet, he had been very adept at covering that and producing an outward mask of something that was a lot more kind of fitting the mold of what we wanted him to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He was an honor student\u2014so he was smart. It reminds me of another young lady, who we interviewed here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, along with her dad, who was very cunning, very deceptive, and smart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cMy ability to deceive my mom and dad was greater than their ability to find out the truth.\u201d\u00a0 Kids can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Oh, and honestly, we don\u2019t want to know the truth. We really want them to\u2014if they\u2019ll give us something to hang our hat on, we\u2019ll take it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, who doesn\u2019t want to believe the best about their kids; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And your kid was doing well with grades and seemed to be a popular student. Was he going to youth group at church?\u00a0 Was he doing all of that kind of stuff or not really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>No; he wasn\u2019t doing that stuff. Maybe, that could have been a tip off for us that\u2014\u201cOh, gosh, I don\u2019t get along with those folks. They\u2019re mean to me,\u201d\u2014you know, whatever\u2014but no, we were all drifting \/ keep that in mind. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you started to trace this back, Chris, what did you find had been\u2014Bob was 16 at the time this happened; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Bob was 16 at that time. Over the course of the next\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014probably, 60 days probably\u2014we started to uncover what was going on. It turned out that, in sixth grade, he was introduced to marijuana. They were smoking weed on the football field at school at age 12. From there, it progressed. As you dis-inhibit, you become more open. For anybody to say, \u201cMarijuana\u2019s not a gateway drug,\u201d is just crazy. You can ask my son, Bob\u2014he would tell you, \u201cNo; it\u2019s clearly that,\u201d because he was seeking something. There was a hole he was trying to fill. He had some social anxiety and school stuff; and marijuana was a good cover for that, initially \/ a good coping mechanism for him to use. And then\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And Chris, I have to stop you there and say, \u201cAn 11- or 12-year-old is not that smart.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Chris: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did he get away with that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Probably, we weren\u2019t looking that hard; you know?\u00a0 We would be willing to accept the answers that he gave us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, if something happened, it\u2014I mean, I\u2019ve talked to literally hundreds of parents. They\u2019ll tell me the story that I, now, know after ten years of experience\u2014they\u2019ll say, \u201cHere\u2019s what I\u2019m seeing, and here\u2019s what he says.\u201d\u00a0 I just\u2014and I hear it over and over. What they really want me to tell them is: \u201cYes; it\u2019s true. He\u2019s telling you the truth.\u201d\u00a0 And what I know inside is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cHe\u2019s lying.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cHe\u2019s working you just like my son worked me and Michelle.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s heartbreaking, really, to tell them that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s really hard for a parent to be a suspicious, distrusting parent\u2014who loves their son or daughter\u2014but there is a side of us, as parents, that you dare not give too much credibility to the <em>child<\/em> because you have to consider the source. The Book of Proverbs is a great book to read, at this point, because there are really two kinds of people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there are fools and there are those who are wise. A young person has got a lot of foolishness bound up in his heart. The Bible warns about that. It\u2019s the parent that helps drive that foolishness out of the heart; but it demands that the parents be in the game, and be inspecting, and expecting the kind of behavior that the Bible talks about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, Michelle, there had been four years of hidden marijuana use \/ other stuff he\u2019d experimented with,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014hanging with kids, where this was just how you do life; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Right. And you know, I think part of what facilitated that deceit is\u2014as I look back, I realize how invested I was in having an identity of being a good parent. You can see that, if you have to own that there might be more going on than what is on the surface, you have to start to really be willing to look inside and really question what your identity is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think I was in a place, at that time, where my identity was rooted in Christ. I think it was rooted in how I appeared to the people around me, and being seen as a good mom, and somebody who was involved in their kids\u2019 lives; and this just didn\u2019t go with that. It was really easy to go: \u201cI can\u2019t face that. So, I\u2019m just going to go with whatever he tells me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s really when a parent needs to be suspicious; but their identity is tied up in being a great parent, and they are starting to see cracks or fissures in the wall. What you really need\u2014and what we\u2019ve seen over the ten years of <em>Parenting by Design<\/em>\u2014what we saw was, \u201cYou really need a community.\u201d\u00a0 You need some people you can talk to because, when we put people in small groups, and a parent would say, \u201cWell, here\u2019s what I\u2019m seeing,\u201d it was so obvious to the others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey could say, \u201cWell, actually, it looks like your son is acting out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re talking about somebody calling you out, at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Yes; and you need that because your brain is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>\u2014not working correctly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is this word\u2014and the old saying is: \u201cIt\u2019s not a river in Egypt, but we\u2019re talking about denial.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s\u2014it takes a community to pull people, who are in denial, back to reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>And what\u2019s the first thing you do?\u2014when you start to see those cracks and fissures is\u2014you don\u2019t want anybody else to see it. So, you pull out of community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, we laugh about what a famous politician said about, \u201cIt takes a village to raise a child.\u201d\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s the truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>It\u2019s the truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It does take a small community of parents, who get together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don\u2019t know this about us\u2014unless you\u2019ve listened to our broadcast over the years\u2014but we\u2019ve shared with our listening audience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a child who struggled for a period of time, and there were some small groups that we were in. Barbara was in a group with several moms, where all of those moms had children who were struggling around the same issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTruthfully, I do not know how a parent, who is not plugged into those kind of groups, makes it because, when your child does \/ when the wheels come off, and you\u2019re facing a child at 2:30 in the morning, and 60 days after that, where you\u2019re finding out there\u2019s four years of drug abuse\u2014was he, also, stealing, habitually?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Oh, yes\u2014had to support the habit. By that point, he\u2019d moved on from marijuana to cocaine\u2014so that\u2019s a little more expensive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, he had a hard drug he was dealing with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m thinking that this is where it would be helpful for a lot of parents\u2014if they had an opportunity to get together with a group of other parents, who were raising teenagers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just to be able to sit down and, maybe, go through a book like the book that you guys have written, <em>Parenting by Design<\/em>\u2014just to talk through, \u201cWhat are the real issues that you are going through?\u201d as parents. Chris and Michelle, you have, in your book, kind of mapped out for parents: \u201cWhat are the things we ought to be focused on as we guide our kids through the teen years?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Parenting by Design<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to get more information or to order a copy of the book from us\u2014again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also order by phone. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne more thing before we\u2019re done\u2014we are asking our listeners whether you would consider being one of 20 people in their state\u2014who would join us and become Legacy Partners, helping to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in your community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re praying that, in every state where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, there might be 20 new Legacy Partners who would sign up and help support this ministry on a monthly basis. When you become a Legacy Partner, you really become part of the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> team. Your monthly support is what helps cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if that\u2019s something you\u2019d being willing to do, just go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014click the link that says, \u201cDONATE.\u201d\u00a0 The information about becoming a Legacy Partner is available right there. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cWe\u2019re ready to sign up and be a part of the team as a Legacy Partner.\u201d We\u2019ve got a welcome kit we\u2019ll send out to you; and then, we\u2019ve got resources we\u2019ll make available throughout the year as our way of saying, \u201cThank you for your support of this ministry.\u201d\u00a0 We want to provide support back to you to help strengthen your marriage and to help you as you raise your kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, sign up as a Legacy Partner, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and join us and become a Legacy Partner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to hear from Chris and Michelle Groff about how they made it through the teen years and what they learned along the way. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303882","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303882"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303882"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303882"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303882"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303882"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303882"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303882"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}