{"id":303864,"date":"2016-02-08T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-02-08T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/jesus-teaching-on-marriage\/"},"modified":"2016-02-08T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-02-08T17:00:00","slug":"jesus-teaching-on-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/jesus-teaching-on-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Jesus&#8217; Teaching on Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Alistair Begg | Series: I Take You | What really happens when you say &#8220;I do&#8221;? Pastor Alistair Begg tells what the Bible teaches about what is really going on during a marriage ceremony.\u00a0Alistair\u00a0explains how a couple is now purposefully, wonderfully, gloriously, intimately, dutifully, legally, personally, unconditionally, and affectionately &#8220;stuck&#8221; to each other.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pastor Alistair Begg tells what the Bible teaches about what is really going on during a marriage ceremony.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-02-08.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.68M","filesize_raw":"25879263","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805,2808],"tags":[4207,4209,4208,4206],"podcast_series":[7188],"cwp_profile":[3117],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303864","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-newlyweds","tag-wedding","tag-wedding-ceremony","tag-wedding-vows","tag-what-does-god-say-about-marriage","podcast_series-i-take-you","cwp_profile-alistair-begg","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303864\/jesus-teaching-on-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303864\/jesus-teaching-on-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"zCcmW5d1Q8\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/jesus-teaching-on-marriage\/\">Jesus&#8217; Teaching on Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/jesus-teaching-on-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=zCcmW5d1Q8\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Jesus&#8217; Teaching on Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"zCcmW5d1Q8\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-02-08.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-02-08.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There\u2019s a lot about being married that a lot of us didn\u2019t stop and think much about before we said, \u201cI do.\u201d We\u2019ll hear Alistair Begg reflect on that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I don\u2019t know how smart it is to start out Valentine\u2019s week\u2014this Sunday is Valentine\u2019s Day\u2014talking about being stuck in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Reminding people that they\u2019ve made a covenant\u2014not a bad idea actually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a sense in which love really has a deeper understanding when we do understand that there\u2019s a commitment at the base of it all; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, love ultimately is a commitment. It is a commitment to seek the best interest of the object of that love. That\u2019s how marriage starts. We think we know how to love when we first get started; but looking back on it\u2014now, 43-and- a-half years ago\u2014I gotta say I wasn\u2019t even in kindergarten. [Laughter] I was taking my first baby steps of learning how to love. Hopefully, that love has grown over the years. It\u2019s been because of great teaching and equipping by men like Alistair Begg, who we\u2019re going to hear on today\u2019s broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Back in October, we had the opportunity y'aching and equiping lly that love ise first get started, but looking back on it, now 43 1\/2 1111111111to be with Alistair and with others at a special one-day event that was held in Lynchburg, Virginia. We had probably a thousand people with us there, but we had several thousand people joining with us in more than 200 locations all across the country for a one-day marriage intensive. We started it off with the message we\u2019re going to hear today from Alistair Begg. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Allister is pastor at Parkside Church in Cleveland, Ohio. I\u2019ve never been there; have you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Never been to Parkside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wonder if it\u2019s filled with folks from Scotland and Ireland. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s mostly Ohioans.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think they love his accent, and I do too. He\u2019s a great friend. I took some pictures and did some tweets when we were together at <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, back last fall. Alistair is just a great man, a great preacher, and a kindred spirit man when it comes to the Bible and also the truth of the gospel\u2014of helping people understand that they\u2019re separated from God and that only a\u2014by faith relationship with Jesus Christ can bring them into a right relationship with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those who want to hear how they\u2019re <em>stuck<\/em>, we\u2019re going to play that little series, where Alistair very eloquently stated how we are permanently, indelibly\u2014understandably, I don\u2019t remember what it was Bob; but I wrote it down as he was saying it\u2014I was in the audience. It was a great reminder that \u201cYes, we did make a covenant and we are <em>stuck<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> [Mark 10:1-9] \u201cJesus then left the place and went into the region of Judea across the Jordon. Again, crowds of people came to Him. As was his custom, He taught them. Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, \u2018Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?\u2019 \u2018What did Moses command you?\u2019 He replied. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThey said, \u2018Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.\u2019 \u2018It was because of your hearts that were hard that Moses wrote you this law,\u2019 Jesus replied \u2018For at the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife; and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has put together, let not man separate.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI woke up this morning, thinking about an elderly friend of mine, who\u2019s now living in heaven. His name was T.S. Mooney. He died in his 80s\u2014he never married. He, on one occasion, answered my question when I said to him\u2014he was in his 70s by this time\u2014\u201cWhy have you never married, T.S.? He said \u201cWell, in my case, the desirable has always been unattainable, and the attainable has been undesirable.\u201d [Laughter] He then followed that up by saying,\u201d I would rather go through life wanting what I don\u2019t have than having what I don\u2019t want,\u201d\u2014which, of course, would not have endeared him to most of the ladies in the choir. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you recognize these words? [Quotes from <em>My Old Man<\/em><sup>\u00a9<\/sup>] That\u2019s Joni Mitchell\u20141970. The idea that you would have to have some kind of legal commitment to one another as being a constituent part of marriage just seemed taboo, coming out of the 60s and into the 70s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFourteen years after Joni, we had the dancing girl, Tina Turner. From the perspective of romantic passion, this marriage license was regarded as unnecessary\u2014probably unhelpful\u2014because it introduced duty where there should only be delight. It introduced a framework where people thought there should only be freedom. But then Tina took it up a notch when she wrote [Quotes from <em>What\u2019s Love Got to Do with It<\/em><sup>\u00a9<\/sup>\u20141993]. How old-fashioned is that idea? And then she sang [Quotes from <em>What\u2019s Love Got to Do with It].<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast forward 24 years\u2014now, we\u2019re in 2008. The movie, <em>Hooking Up<\/em>, dramatizes the hook-up culture\u2014described, lived, and understood as a culture that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters, which focus on physical pleasure without necessarily including emotional bonding or long-term commitment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the culture in which you and I live our lives. And it is out of that environment we have stepped in this morning to say to one another, \u201cWhat does it really mean to say, \u2018I take you\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe underlying narrative of our culture in relationship to this is one of selfism. It reveals itself in its statements like, \u201cOnly I can determine what is right and wrong for me,\u201d or \u201cI must be free to be <em>myself<\/em> and live how I wish without hurting anyone.\u201d So there is, arguably, nowhere that the contrast between a Christian worldview and contemporary culture is more clearly seen than in the arena of marriage itself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to how the writer of Hebrews [13:4] speaks so clearly concerning this very institution: \u201cMarriage is to be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.\u201d Well, that doesn\u2019t sound very nice;ch lo actually<br>about being stuck in marriage<br> now stuck, you can'111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 does it? It doesn\u2019t sound very politically correct. It\u2019s not a very cozy kind of thing; is it? Who was it written to? It was written to the <em>church<\/em>\u2014it was written to people who were gathering on a Sunday, or on a time in the week, and they were professing to be followers of Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you go to church\u2014you may believe, in your head; but you may be unconvere followers of jesus christ.turtment.ich\u00a0 makes my pulse react. that na meted. You may have the train tracks very clear in front of you, but no power in the engine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this is addressed to those who are professing faith. Therefore, it is vitally important that all of us understand just how clear and how uncompromising the Bible\u2019s view of human sexuality, and particularly the covenant of marriage, actually is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow I read it from the Gospel of Mark\u2014to begin, when Jesus was confronted by these questions about the nature of marriage, He reminded his opponents of God\u2019s plan and pattern from the beginning. Essentially, what Jesus did was quote the Bible to these people\u2014Jesus spoke concerning God\u2019s pattern, from the very start. He is quoting there from the book of Genesis\u2014the very beginning of the Bible, where the instruction of God to Adam is really, really clear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really clear, not just for Adam, because think about it\u2014\u201cFor this reason a man will leave his father and mother\u2026\u201d\u2014well, neither Adam nor Eve had a regular physical father and mother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTherefore, it\u2019s not some anachronistic notion; but rather, as the progenitor of the entire human race, Adam needed to know how this thing was going to shape up. And so, the instruction is clear\u2014it\u2019s clear concerning gender \/ a man and a woman\u2014and it\u2019s clear concerning number \/ there was just one Adam and just one Eve, and they were for each other. In other words, at the very beginning of creation, you have heterosexual monogamy\u2014that is God\u2019s plan for marriage. Anything other than that is a deviation from God\u2019s plan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when you think about these truths, they\u2019re all embodied in a marriage ceremony. I have now, for 40 years, enjoyed the privilege of having a ringside seat or, if you like, a ringside stance I suppose, watching couples of various shapes, sizes, ages, and intelligence quotients being married to one another. I always begin in the same way: \u201cWe are gathered here in the presence of God\u2014in the presence of God and before this congregation.\u201d We begin by announcing the nature of the institution to which this couple is about to commit themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re here, and you\u2019re married today, then you know that you went through something along these lines. Listen to what we say about marriage as people come: \u201cMarriage is a special and unique relationship appointed by God, commanded in the Bible as honorable, and all signifying the wonderful spiritual union between Christ and His church. It is, therefore, not to be entered into lightly or carelessly, but thoughtfully, with reverence for God, with due consideration of the purposes for which it was established by God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf people are saying, \u201cWell, I wonder what they are,\u201d\u2014we then continue and say: \u201cIt was established for the companionship, help, and encouragement that husband and wife ought to give to each other. It was established for the continuance of family life as God intended so that children, who are gifts from the Lord, should be carefully brought up and trained to love and obey God. It was established for the well-being of human society, which can be strong and happy only where the marriage bond is held in honor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it seems to me that when I began 40 years ago, those words had a ring to them\u2014they were straightforward and clear. But to state them now, at this point in the 21<sup>st<\/sup> century, here in America, is probably to find oneself on the wrong side of political correctness\u2014\u201c\u2026only where the marriage bond is held in honor,\u201d\u2014what marriage bond? The marriage bond of monogamous heterosexual relationships, where premarital sex is excluded by the command of God, and extramarital sex is excluded by the hand of God. All of this is grounded in the fact that, in that marriage bond, the husband and wife looked each other in the eye, before God, and said; \u201cI take you,\u201d \/ \u201cI take you.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what lies at the very foundation of the covenant of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen the questions are posed\u2014questions of intent, as they call them, here in America\u2014they go like this: \u201cDo you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together according to God\u2019s ordinance, in the special estate of marriage? Do you promise to love her and to comfort her, and to keep her for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until you die?\u201d\u00a0 Then there\u2019s that pause. [Laughter] Then he goes [falsetto voice], \u201cI do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, at this point, the couple is not looking at each other\u2014at least, they shouldn\u2019t be\u2014they\u2019re supposed to be looking at <em>me<\/em>. I\u2019m the fellow that\u2019s doing the wedding; okay? \u201cI\u2019ll tell you when you can look at each other. Right now, look at me,\u201d because I\u2019m asking you questions, and you\u2019re answering these questions; but you\u2019re answers are before God. I\u2019m just asking the question: \u201cDo you?\u201d \/ \u201cDo you? \u201c\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you say, \u201cI do,\u201d you have made an affirmation\u2014you have essentially made a covenant on the vertical plain. You\u2019ve gathered before God, before the congregation, everyone in the room, and all in the community now know that something radical has taken place here in these moments: \u201cI do. I will do this. I promise to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, you can say to the couple, \u201cAs a seal to the vows you\u2019re now about to make, will you give each other your right hands?\u201d Then they have to listen to me, look at each other, and speak loudly enough so that the congregation can hear what they\u2019re promising to do. You see, what the Bible says about these things is so amazingly strong. In the Old Testament, a man is told that this woman\u2014Malachi 2\u2014is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. What is striking about both the questions and the vows is that there\u2019s nothing about <em>feeling<\/em> in them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you ask the person to go ask the fella, \u201cHow do you <em>feel<\/em>?\u201d\u2014I recall an evening on a Friday, years ago now, as the rehearsal had ended. l, i ethat there'artner the wife of your marriage covenant. and\u00a0 radical haI was standing there with the bride-to-be and the groom. I said to the girl\u2014I said, \u201cAre you nervous?\u201d and she said, \u201cYes!\u201d And the groom said, \u201cI\u2019d be nervous if I was getting married to me,\u201d w said to the girl, I said, \u201ca a111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111hich I thought was wonderfully honest on his part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you ask the couple in the morning, \u201cHow do you feel about this?\u201d one of them might say, \u201cI feel like running,\u201d another might say: \u201cI feel like bursting into tears,\u201d \u201cI feel funny,\u201d \u201cI feel queasy,\u201d \u201cI feel sick,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d; but you never ask any of that stuff because it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> about that! If you\u2019re tempted to write your own vows or you are encouraging your children to write their own vows, I suggest to you: \u201cDon\u2019t do it. I don\u2019t want to hear you stand up there, going, \u2018Oh the first time ever I saw your face, I felt the earth move in my head.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] I couldn\u2019t care less! We\u2019re trying to get you married right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me ask you: \u201cAre you prepared to make this vow?\u201d Now, what are you going to say? This is where you\u2019re going to say: \u201cI, Alistair, do take you, Susan, to be my lawful wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part according to Gods holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHaving been declared, then, husband and wife, the couple is now <em>stuck<\/em>\u2014<em>stuck<\/em>! You can\u2019t go out the way you came in\u2014[Laughter] \u2014you just can\u2019t. It\u2019s all about that piece of paper from the city hall\u2014not that it keeps us tied and true\u2014but this is not the same as shacking up \/\u00a0 this is not the same as an experimentation in sexual values\u2014this is <em>marriage<\/em>. This is saying, \u201cYes, I am purposefully, wonderfully, gloriously, intimately, dutifully, legally, personally, durably, unconditionally, affectionately, <em>stuck<\/em> with you.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cWell, stuck is not very good,\u201d but <em>stuck<\/em> is in the Bible: \u201cFor this reason a man will leave his father and mother and <em>cleave<\/em> [emphasis added] to his wife.\u201d That word actually means \u201cget stuck to.\u201d Well, of course, the guy\u2019s said, \u201cI want to get outta here as fast as I can so I can start this \u2018stuck to\u2019 stuff.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s why it is so important that the interweaving, which follows upon the cleaving, is within the framework of God\u2019s plan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well we\u2019ve been listening to Part One of a message from Alistair Begg on \u201cBeing Stuck in Your Marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you\u2019re trying to write it down, like I was when I was listening to Alistair speak, we\u2019re going to save you some time. You can go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com. We\u2019ve got it there for you just to <em>remind<\/em> you that you\u2019re stuck\u2014you made a commitment \/ you made a covenant. Some of you, as a result, have made some children. You know what? They\u2019re looking to you to explain what that kind of stuck-like-looking love is, and what it looks like over a lifetime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There can be, and is, a blessing in being stuck together. That\u2019s why God <em>cleaves<\/em> us together to bless us, not to curse us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The order in Genesis, Chapter 2, is very clear: leave, cleave, and receive. In order to receive the oneness that God has for you, as it ends that chapter, it says, \u201cAnd the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.\u201d In order to experience that kind of transparency and oneness, you have to leave\u2014you have to leave mother and father, emotionally, physically, and financially. Then, you have to cleave to one another\u2014declare a new loyalty \/ declare a new commitment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of the couples listening to us, right now, Bob, some of the struggles in their marriage are coming about because they have not <em>fully<\/em> cleaved. They have not declared their loyalty, first and foremost, to their spouse. Yes, they may be hanging on to their parents; but they may have not declared that loyalty to the person they\u2019re married to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They may be looking for the escape hatch. Once you\u2019ve said, \u201cI do,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014you burned the bridges, just like he said. You can\u2019t go <em>out<\/em> the way you came in. He ran by that\u2014but \u201cHow did you come in to the wedding ceremony?\u201d\u2014as individuals. \u201cHow did you go out?\u201d Well, hopefully, arm in arm, with smiles on your faces\u2014it\u2019s that picture of two people saying: \u201cWe\u2019re no longer going to be individuals and live our lives for ourselves. We are going to covenant together, as a couple.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand become\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cone.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. I mentioned that this message was originally part of a one-day event called <em>I Still Do<\/em>, which is still available for churches that would like to host a video event. You can host this in your local church. You can hear from Alistair Begg, Alex Kendrick, Crawford and Karen Loritts, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and others. It\u2019s a great one-day event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to find out how you can host this event in your church or in your community, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and look for information about <em>I Still Do<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have information on Alistair\u2019s book on marriage called <em>Lasting Love<\/em>. It\u2019s available on our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center\u2014you can order a copy from our website at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and ask for a copy of the book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>. We\u2019ll make arrangements to get it sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we\u2019re on this subject of being stuck in marriage, we want to congratulate a couple who have been stuck together now for 13 years today\u2014John and Riley Royse, who are <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners who live in the Dallas area\u2014listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on KWRD\u2014celebrating their 13<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all about anniversaries, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re celebrating our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry this year. Our anniversary is really more about your anniversary because the reason we exist is to help more couples celebrate more anniversaries every year. So \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Royses on their anniversary today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014those of you who support this ministry financially, and particularly, those of you who are Legacy Partners. We are praying that, this month, God would raise up 20 families in every state, where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, to be brand-new Legacy Partners. We\u2019re asking you to consider being one of those 20 families in your state. So: \u201cWould you think about becoming a monthly supporter of this ministry by becoming a Legacy Partner?\u201d You can find out more when you go to FamilyLife Today.com and click the button that says \u201cDONATE\u201d; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m curious about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d We\u2019ll explain what it\u2019s all about when you give us a call. Again, 1-800-FL-TODAY; or find us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, this is national marriage week. We have, online, a quiz that you can take that will help diagnose how you\u2019re doing in your marital communication. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and take the quiz. Got lots of stuff happening this week\u2014we\u2019ll keep you posted throughout the week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of Alistair Begg\u2019s message about commitment in marriage. f you who make familylifetoday possible. those D, celebrating their thirteenth ann\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. See you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.68M"],"filesize_raw":["25879263"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303864.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303864.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Alistair Begg tells what the Bible teaches about what is really going on during a marriage ceremony.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-02-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. There\u2019s a lot about being married that a lot of us didn\u2019t stop and think much about before we said, \u201cI do.\u201d We\u2019ll hear Alistair Begg reflect on that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I don\u2019t know how smart it is to start out Valentine\u2019s week\u2014this Sunday is Valentine\u2019s Day\u2014talking about being stuck in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Reminding people that they\u2019ve made a covenant\u2014not a bad idea actually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a sense in which love really has a deeper understanding when we do understand that there\u2019s a commitment at the base of it all; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, love ultimately is a commitment. It is a commitment to seek the best interest of the object of that love. That\u2019s how marriage starts. We think we know how to love when we first get started; but looking back on it\u2014now, 43-and- a-half years ago\u2014I gotta say I wasn\u2019t even in kindergarten. [Laughter] I was taking my first baby steps of learning how to love. Hopefully, that love has grown over the years. It\u2019s been because of great teaching and equipping by men like Alistair Begg, who we\u2019re going to hear on today\u2019s broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Back in October, we had the opportunity y'aching and equiping lly that love ise first get started, but looking back on it, now 43 1\/2 1111111111to be with Alistair and with others at a special one-day event that was held in Lynchburg, Virginia. We had probably a thousand people with us there, but we had several thousand people joining with us in more than 200 locations all across the country for a one-day marriage intensive. We started it off with the message we\u2019re going to hear today from Alistair Begg. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Allister is pastor at Parkside Church in Cleveland, Ohio. I\u2019ve never been there; have you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Never been to Parkside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wonder if it\u2019s filled with folks from Scotland and Ireland. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s mostly Ohioans.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think they love his accent, and I do too. He\u2019s a great friend. I took some pictures and did some tweets when we were together at <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, back last fall. Alistair is just a great man, a great preacher, and a kindred spirit man when it comes to the Bible and also the truth of the gospel\u2014of helping people understand that they\u2019re separated from God and that only a\u2014by faith relationship with Jesus Christ can bring them into a right relationship with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those who want to hear how they\u2019re <em>stuck<\/em>, we\u2019re going to play that little series, where Alistair very eloquently stated how we are permanently, indelibly\u2014understandably, I don\u2019t remember what it was Bob; but I wrote it down as he was saying it\u2014I was in the audience. It was a great reminder that \u201cYes, we did make a covenant and we are <em>stuck<\/em>!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong> [Mark 10:1-9] \u201cJesus then left the place and went into the region of Judea across the Jordon. Again, crowds of people came to Him. As was his custom, He taught them. Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, \u2018Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?\u2019 \u2018What did Moses command you?\u2019 He replied. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThey said, \u2018Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.\u2019 \u2018It was because of your hearts that were hard that Moses wrote you this law,\u2019 Jesus replied \u2018For at the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife; and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has put together, let not man separate.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI woke up this morning, thinking about an elderly friend of mine, who\u2019s now living in heaven. His name was T.S. Mooney. He died in his 80s\u2014he never married. He, on one occasion, answered my question when I said to him\u2014he was in his 70s by this time\u2014\u201cWhy have you never married, T.S.? He said \u201cWell, in my case, the desirable has always been unattainable, and the attainable has been undesirable.\u201d [Laughter] He then followed that up by saying,\u201d I would rather go through life wanting what I don\u2019t have than having what I don\u2019t want,\u201d\u2014which, of course, would not have endeared him to most of the ladies in the choir. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you recognize these words? [Quotes from <em>My Old Man<\/em><sup>\u00a9<\/sup>] That\u2019s Joni Mitchell\u20141970. The idea that you would have to have some kind of legal commitment to one another as being a constituent part of marriage just seemed taboo, coming out of the 60s and into the 70s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFourteen years after Joni, we had the dancing girl, Tina Turner. From the perspective of romantic passion, this marriage license was regarded as unnecessary\u2014probably unhelpful\u2014because it introduced duty where there should only be delight. It introduced a framework where people thought there should only be freedom. But then Tina took it up a notch when she wrote [Quotes from <em>What\u2019s Love Got to Do with It<\/em><sup>\u00a9<\/sup>\u20141993]. How old-fashioned is that idea? And then she sang [Quotes from <em>What\u2019s Love Got to Do with It].<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast forward 24 years\u2014now, we\u2019re in 2008. The movie, <em>Hooking Up<\/em>, dramatizes the hook-up culture\u2014described, lived, and understood as a culture that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters, which focus on physical pleasure without necessarily including emotional bonding or long-term commitment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the culture in which you and I live our lives. And it is out of that environment we have stepped in this morning to say to one another, \u201cWhat does it really mean to say, \u2018I take you\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe underlying narrative of our culture in relationship to this is one of selfism. It reveals itself in its statements like, \u201cOnly I can determine what is right and wrong for me,\u201d or \u201cI must be free to be <em>myself<\/em> and live how I wish without hurting anyone.\u201d So there is, arguably, nowhere that the contrast between a Christian worldview and contemporary culture is more clearly seen than in the arena of marriage itself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to how the writer of Hebrews [13:4] speaks so clearly concerning this very institution: \u201cMarriage is to be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.\u201d Well, that doesn\u2019t sound very nice;ch lo actually<br>about being stuck in marriage<br> now stuck, you can'111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 does it? It doesn\u2019t sound very politically correct. It\u2019s not a very cozy kind of thing; is it? Who was it written to? It was written to the <em>church<\/em>\u2014it was written to people who were gathering on a Sunday, or on a time in the week, and they were professing to be followers of Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you go to church\u2014you may believe, in your head; but you may be unconvere followers of jesus christ.turtment.ich\u00a0 makes my pulse react. that na meted. You may have the train tracks very clear in front of you, but no power in the engine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this is addressed to those who are professing faith. Therefore, it is vitally important that all of us understand just how clear and how uncompromising the Bible\u2019s view of human sexuality, and particularly the covenant of marriage, actually is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow I read it from the Gospel of Mark\u2014to begin, when Jesus was confronted by these questions about the nature of marriage, He reminded his opponents of God\u2019s plan and pattern from the beginning. Essentially, what Jesus did was quote the Bible to these people\u2014Jesus spoke concerning God\u2019s pattern, from the very start. He is quoting there from the book of Genesis\u2014the very beginning of the Bible, where the instruction of God to Adam is really, really clear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really clear, not just for Adam, because think about it\u2014\u201cFor this reason a man will leave his father and mother\u2026\u201d\u2014well, neither Adam nor Eve had a regular physical father and mother. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTherefore, it\u2019s not some anachronistic notion; but rather, as the progenitor of the entire human race, Adam needed to know how this thing was going to shape up. And so, the instruction is clear\u2014it\u2019s clear concerning gender \/ a man and a woman\u2014and it\u2019s clear concerning number \/ there was just one Adam and just one Eve, and they were for each other. In other words, at the very beginning of creation, you have heterosexual monogamy\u2014that is God\u2019s plan for marriage. Anything other than that is a deviation from God\u2019s plan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when you think about these truths, they\u2019re all embodied in a marriage ceremony. I have now, for 40 years, enjoyed the privilege of having a ringside seat or, if you like, a ringside stance I suppose, watching couples of various shapes, sizes, ages, and intelligence quotients being married to one another. I always begin in the same way: \u201cWe are gathered here in the presence of God\u2014in the presence of God and before this congregation.\u201d We begin by announcing the nature of the institution to which this couple is about to commit themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re here, and you\u2019re married today, then you know that you went through something along these lines. Listen to what we say about marriage as people come: \u201cMarriage is a special and unique relationship appointed by God, commanded in the Bible as honorable, and all signifying the wonderful spiritual union between Christ and His church. It is, therefore, not to be entered into lightly or carelessly, but thoughtfully, with reverence for God, with due consideration of the purposes for which it was established by God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf people are saying, \u201cWell, I wonder what they are,\u201d\u2014we then continue and say: \u201cIt was established for the companionship, help, and encouragement that husband and wife ought to give to each other. It was established for the continuance of family life as God intended so that children, who are gifts from the Lord, should be carefully brought up and trained to love and obey God. It was established for the well-being of human society, which can be strong and happy only where the marriage bond is held in honor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, it seems to me that when I began 40 years ago, those words had a ring to them\u2014they were straightforward and clear. But to state them now, at this point in the 21<sup>st<\/sup> century, here in America, is probably to find oneself on the wrong side of political correctness\u2014\u201c\u2026only where the marriage bond is held in honor,\u201d\u2014what marriage bond? The marriage bond of monogamous heterosexual relationships, where premarital sex is excluded by the command of God, and extramarital sex is excluded by the hand of God. All of this is grounded in the fact that, in that marriage bond, the husband and wife looked each other in the eye, before God, and said; \u201cI take you,\u201d \/ \u201cI take you.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what lies at the very foundation of the covenant of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen the questions are posed\u2014questions of intent, as they call them, here in America\u2014they go like this: \u201cDo you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together according to God\u2019s ordinance, in the special estate of marriage? Do you promise to love her and to comfort her, and to keep her for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until you die?\u201d\u00a0 Then there\u2019s that pause. [Laughter] Then he goes [falsetto voice], \u201cI do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, at this point, the couple is not looking at each other\u2014at least, they shouldn\u2019t be\u2014they\u2019re supposed to be looking at <em>me<\/em>. I\u2019m the fellow that\u2019s doing the wedding; okay? \u201cI\u2019ll tell you when you can look at each other. Right now, look at me,\u201d because I\u2019m asking you questions, and you\u2019re answering these questions; but you\u2019re answers are before God. I\u2019m just asking the question: \u201cDo you?\u201d \/ \u201cDo you? \u201c\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you say, \u201cI do,\u201d you have made an affirmation\u2014you have essentially made a covenant on the vertical plain. You\u2019ve gathered before God, before the congregation, everyone in the room, and all in the community now know that something radical has taken place here in these moments: \u201cI do. I will do this. I promise to do this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, you can say to the couple, \u201cAs a seal to the vows you\u2019re now about to make, will you give each other your right hands?\u201d Then they have to listen to me, look at each other, and speak loudly enough so that the congregation can hear what they\u2019re promising to do. You see, what the Bible says about these things is so amazingly strong. In the Old Testament, a man is told that this woman\u2014Malachi 2\u2014is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. What is striking about both the questions and the vows is that there\u2019s nothing about <em>feeling<\/em> in them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you ask the person to go ask the fella, \u201cHow do you <em>feel<\/em>?\u201d\u2014I recall an evening on a Friday, years ago now, as the rehearsal had ended. l, i ethat there'artner the wife of your marriage covenant. and\u00a0 radical haI was standing there with the bride-to-be and the groom. I said to the girl\u2014I said, \u201cAre you nervous?\u201d and she said, \u201cYes!\u201d And the groom said, \u201cI\u2019d be nervous if I was getting married to me,\u201d w said to the girl, I said, \u201ca a111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111hich I thought was wonderfully honest on his part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you ask the couple in the morning, \u201cHow do you feel about this?\u201d one of them might say, \u201cI feel like running,\u201d another might say: \u201cI feel like bursting into tears,\u201d \u201cI feel funny,\u201d \u201cI feel queasy,\u201d \u201cI feel sick,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d; but you never ask any of that stuff because it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> about that! If you\u2019re tempted to write your own vows or you are encouraging your children to write their own vows, I suggest to you: \u201cDon\u2019t do it. I don\u2019t want to hear you stand up there, going, \u2018Oh the first time ever I saw your face, I felt the earth move in my head.\u2019\u201d [Laughter] I couldn\u2019t care less! We\u2019re trying to get you married right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me ask you: \u201cAre you prepared to make this vow?\u201d Now, what are you going to say? This is where you\u2019re going to say: \u201cI, Alistair, do take you, Susan, to be my lawful wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part according to Gods holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHaving been declared, then, husband and wife, the couple is now <em>stuck<\/em>\u2014<em>stuck<\/em>! You can\u2019t go out the way you came in\u2014[Laughter] \u2014you just can\u2019t. It\u2019s all about that piece of paper from the city hall\u2014not that it keeps us tied and true\u2014but this is not the same as shacking up \/\u00a0 this is not the same as an experimentation in sexual values\u2014this is <em>marriage<\/em>. This is saying, \u201cYes, I am purposefully, wonderfully, gloriously, intimately, dutifully, legally, personally, durably, unconditionally, affectionately, <em>stuck<\/em> with you.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cWell, stuck is not very good,\u201d but <em>stuck<\/em> is in the Bible: \u201cFor this reason a man will leave his father and mother and <em>cleave<\/em> [emphasis added] to his wife.\u201d That word actually means \u201cget stuck to.\u201d Well, of course, the guy\u2019s said, \u201cI want to get outta here as fast as I can so I can start this \u2018stuck to\u2019 stuff.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s why it is so important that the interweaving, which follows upon the cleaving, is within the framework of God\u2019s plan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well we\u2019ve been listening to Part One of a message from Alistair Begg on \u201cBeing Stuck in Your Marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you\u2019re trying to write it down, like I was when I was listening to Alistair speak, we\u2019re going to save you some time. You can go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com. We\u2019ve got it there for you just to <em>remind<\/em> you that you\u2019re stuck\u2014you made a commitment \/ you made a covenant. Some of you, as a result, have made some children. You know what? They\u2019re looking to you to explain what that kind of stuck-like-looking love is, and what it looks like over a lifetime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There can be, and is, a blessing in being stuck together. That\u2019s why God <em>cleaves<\/em> us together to bless us, not to curse us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The order in Genesis, Chapter 2, is very clear: leave, cleave, and receive. In order to receive the oneness that God has for you, as it ends that chapter, it says, \u201cAnd the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.\u201d In order to experience that kind of transparency and oneness, you have to leave\u2014you have to leave mother and father, emotionally, physically, and financially. Then, you have to cleave to one another\u2014declare a new loyalty \/ declare a new commitment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of the couples listening to us, right now, Bob, some of the struggles in their marriage are coming about because they have not <em>fully<\/em> cleaved. They have not declared their loyalty, first and foremost, to their spouse. Yes, they may be hanging on to their parents; but they may have not declared that loyalty to the person they\u2019re married to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They may be looking for the escape hatch. Once you\u2019ve said, \u201cI do,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014you burned the bridges, just like he said. You can\u2019t go <em>out<\/em> the way you came in. He ran by that\u2014but \u201cHow did you come in to the wedding ceremony?\u201d\u2014as individuals. \u201cHow did you go out?\u201d Well, hopefully, arm in arm, with smiles on your faces\u2014it\u2019s that picture of two people saying: \u201cWe\u2019re no longer going to be individuals and live our lives for ourselves. We are going to covenant together, as a couple.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand become\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cone.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. I mentioned that this message was originally part of a one-day event called <em>I Still Do<\/em>, which is still available for churches that would like to host a video event. You can host this in your local church. You can hear from Alistair Begg, Alex Kendrick, Crawford and Karen Loritts, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, and others. It\u2019s a great one-day event. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to find out how you can host this event in your church or in your community, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and look for information about <em>I Still Do<\/em>. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have information on Alistair\u2019s book on marriage called <em>Lasting Love<\/em>. It\u2019s available on our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center\u2014you can order a copy from our website at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and ask for a copy of the book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>. We\u2019ll make arrangements to get it sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we\u2019re on this subject of being stuck in marriage, we want to congratulate a couple who have been stuck together now for 13 years today\u2014John and Riley Royse, who are <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners who live in the Dallas area\u2014listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on KWRD\u2014celebrating their 13<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all about anniversaries, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re celebrating our 40<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary as a ministry this year. Our anniversary is really more about your anniversary because the reason we exist is to help more couples celebrate more anniversaries every year. So \u201cCongratulations!\u201d to the Royses on their anniversary today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014those of you who support this ministry financially, and particularly, those of you who are Legacy Partners. We are praying that, this month, God would raise up 20 families in every state, where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, to be brand-new Legacy Partners. We\u2019re asking you to consider being one of those 20 families in your state. So: \u201cWould you think about becoming a monthly supporter of this ministry by becoming a Legacy Partner?\u201d You can find out more when you go to FamilyLife Today.com and click the button that says \u201cDONATE\u201d; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m curious about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d We\u2019ll explain what it\u2019s all about when you give us a call. Again, 1-800-FL-TODAY; or find us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, this is national marriage week. We have, online, a quiz that you can take that will help diagnose how you\u2019re doing in your marital communication. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and take the quiz. Got lots of stuff happening this week\u2014we\u2019ll keep you posted throughout the week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of Alistair Begg\u2019s message about commitment in marriage. f you who make familylifetoday possible. those D, celebrating their thirteenth ann\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. See you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303864","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303864"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303864"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303864"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303864"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}