{"id":303848,"date":"2016-01-27T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-01-27T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/modeling-grace-to-our-kids\/"},"modified":"2016-01-27T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-01-27T17:00:00","slug":"modeling-grace-to-our-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/modeling-grace-to-our-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Modeling Grace to Our Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kara Powell talks to parents about modeling grace to their kids. Kara explains that if our faith is only about behaviors then it&#8217;s no wonder our youth are struggling.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-01-27.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.2M","filesize_raw":"26428519","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[5947,5949,5945,5946,5948,4089],"podcast_series":[8124],"cwp_profile":[3095],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303848","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-a-faith-that-lasts","tag-faith-and-family","tag-helping-kids-develop-their-faith","tag-passing-faith-down-to-your-kids","tag-playing-by-the-rules","tag-spiritual-disciplines","podcast_series-the-sticky-faith-guide","cwp_profile-kara-powell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303848\/modeling-grace-to-our-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303848\/modeling-grace-to-our-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DOeKm7nW4O\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/modeling-grace-to-our-kids\/\">Modeling Grace to Our Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/modeling-grace-to-our-kids\/embed\/#?secret=DOeKm7nW4O\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Modeling Grace to Our Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DOeKm7nW4O\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-01-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-01-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ve heard the statistics that a lot of young people are leaving the faith when they head off to college. Kara Powell says, \u201cIt may be that the faith they are leaving was never the biblical gospel.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Too many young people graduate from high school with what Dallas Willard calls the gospel of sin management, which is a gospel that is all about behaviors\u2014a gospel that is some sort of checklist of things we\u2019re supposed to do and not do as followers of Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when young people graduate with that kind of view of the gospel, then, when they fail to live up to that list\u2014and note\u2014I said <em>when<\/em> they fail \/ not <em>if<\/em> they fail\u2014when they fail to live up to that list, they end up running from God and the faith community just when they need both the most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you want your kids to have a faith that sticks, you need to make sure that the faith you\u2019re sharing with them is the real thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that with Kara Powell today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. A number of years ago, we asked\u2014a big survey\u2014we asked thousands of folks to tell us: \u201cAs parents, what are the most critical parenting issues you\u2019re facing?\u00a0 What would you like help with most?\u00a0 Is it sibling rivalry?\u00a0 Is it discipline?\u00a0 Is it bedtimes?\u00a0 Is it\u2026?\u201d\u2014whatever. I remember being surprised that far and away the number one thing parents were saying they wanted help with was spiritual formation in their kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right\u2014me too, Bob. I thought, \u201cSurely, the practical issues that parents face today\u2014some of the moral choices that kids are having to find their way around in the culture\u2014but overwhelmingly, this is what they said.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am pleased to report to you, as a listener, that we have an expert on the youth culture joining us today\u2014Dr. Kara Powell, who is well-versed in helping you understand where your children are spiritually and how you can help them develop\u2014shall we call it, Bob\u2014a sticky faith?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a great idea\u2014where did you come up with that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know!\u00a0 I think from, maybe\u2014maybe, it was from Dr. Powell. Welcome to the broadcast, Kara. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Thanks. It\u2019s great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She has written a book called <em>The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family<\/em>. I like the subtitle here\u2014it says, \u201c<em>Over 100 Practical and Tested Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Kids<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s needed today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKara and her husband Dave live in Southern California. They\u2019ve been married for \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t17 years \/ have three children. Kara gives leadership to the Fuller Youth Institute and is a faculty member at Fuller Theological Seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I liked about your book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you talked about how there were three sources of surveys that you did. One, you did a survey of 500 students\u2014a second one, you did of parents \/ a smaller survey of parents\u2014but then, third, you relied on research done by other leaders around the country that really helped you write <em>Sticky Faith<\/em>. What I would like you to do is take those three sources of research and give us, as parents, some coaching on what you found out from young people, their parents, and also from other researchers around the country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What were the big ideas?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, the reason that our team did the <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> research is we were <em>alarmed<\/em> by what actually happens to youth group graduates \/ to high school seniors from <em>great<\/em> families, like your listeners \/ from <em>great<\/em> churches once they graduate from high school. Really good research indicates that almost <em>half<\/em> of youth group graduates drift from God and the church after high school\u2014almost half. As a mom, and a leader, and a follower of Jesus, I am not satisfied with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am sure that you and your listeners aren\u2019t either. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Some of them drift so far away\u2014they never come back to church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes, absolutely. And a good point there, Dennis, is about half of those who drift do return to the faith\u2014generally, when they get older, get married, and have kids. I celebrate the half that return to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But they come back with some scars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Exactly\u2014because you think about the <em>significant<\/em> life choices that are made in those college and emerging adult \/ young adult years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlus, I\u2019m still grieving over the half who drift and never do return to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>So, that\u2019s why we studied young people and churches \/ that\u2019s why we integrated other people\u2019s research. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the major things that has impacted my <em>own<\/em> parenting with my 14, 12, and 9-year-olds is that young people have adopted really toxic views of the faith itself. Too many young people graduate from high school with what Dallas Willard calls the gospel of sin management, which is a gospel that is all about behaviors\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a gospel that is some sort of checklist of things we\u2019re supposed to do and not do, as followers of Jesus. So, when young people graduate with that kind of view of the gospel\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>\u2014then, <em>when<\/em> they fail to live up to that list\u2014and note that I said <em>when<\/em> they fail \/ not<em> if<\/em> they fail\u2014when they fail to live up to that list, they end up running from God and the faith community just when they need both the most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You lay on top of the gospel of sin management what Christian Smith described as moralistic, therapeutic deism, which is kind of an aberrant view of who God is and what our purpose in life is\u2014but it\u2019s one that a lot of kids are growing up, thinking: \u201cThere is a God. He loves me. As long as I play by the rules,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014 \u201cI\u2019ll lead a\u2014I\u2019ll get a happy life out of that.\u201d\u00a0 You put the gospel of sin management over that\u2014it\u2019s no wonder that kids get to college and go, \u201cThis is a\u2014this doesn\u2019t work.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Absolutely. I\u2019ll be honest\u2014and this is going to sound a little heretical for a theology faculty member to say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but if our faith is only about behaviors, no wonder young people are drifting from the faith. I wouldn\u2019t want a faith that is only about behaviors either. The good news is what separates Christianity from ever other religion\u2014is grace. So, at the heart of <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> and what we long for\u2014for families\u2014is that we recapture what it means to embrace and have our family life be <em>permeated<\/em> with grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In Deuteronomy 6, it\u2019s real clear, when God wants to form a nation, He challenges parents to have these words on their hearts first\u2014not on their behaviors but on their hearts, and they shall pass them on\u2014it commands us in Deuteronomy 6\u2014to their children as they\u2019re getting up in the morning, as they\u2019re walking by the way, as they are retiring at night. Christian faith ought to be modeled by parents who have the real disease. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have a group of people in the Bible that are spoken of who were very behaviorally-oriented\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they are called the Pharisees. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Exactly! [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, they kept the law but missed God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>And that\u2019s not a group we want to aspire to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, they didn\u2019t have the real disease at all. Parents\u2014their challenge is to avoid turning out pharisaical children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014who are law-keepers but don\u2019t have the love of God in their heart and don\u2019t have a love <em>for<\/em> God in their heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>And Dennis, you are so right. That\u2019s one of the many ways that our research has impacted me <em>personally<\/em>\u2014not just as a parent \/ not just as a wife, but as a follower of Jesus. I mean, it\u2019s caused me to hold the mirror to myself and say, \u201cHow have I truncated the gospel to also being only about behaviors?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I do want to say this\u2014because I imagine some folks are wondering: \u201cWell, wait a second!\u00a0 Aren\u2019t behaviors a part of what it means to obey God?\u201d\u00a0 And sure enough, there are a lot of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts in Scripture; but one of the ways that I frame obedience for my kids at home\u2014and when I have a chance to talk with teenagers, and college students, and young adults\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I try to frame it this way: \u201cOur obedience flows out of our gratitude for God\u2019s grace.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Our lives are great big thank-you notes back to God. We\u2019re not trying to obey to make God love us more or like us more. It\u2019s because we are so <em>thankful<\/em> for what God has done for us in Jesus Christ\u2014<em>that\u2019s<\/em> what motivates our obedience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, honestly, I look back on us raising our kids. There is a lot of behavior that you\u2019re trying to correct, day in and day out,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014whether it\u2019s complaining, or grumbling, or griping, or sibling rivalry, or just getting them to act civilized. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Eye rolls \/ tone of voice\u2014you know it!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, it\u2019s easy to see how a parent can get so focused on, \u201cI\u2019ve got to get this behavior dealt with because it\u2019s driving everybody crazy.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes; yes. And I mean, if you had eaves-dropped in our house\u2014literally, last night, you would have seen some of that. [Laughter]\u00a0 That\u2019s where I want to weave in another important finding from our <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> research; and that is, the power of <em>warmth<\/em> in a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProbably, in the last six months in our research, what\u2019s impacted me more than anything else: \u201cIs my heart connected to my kids\u2019 hearts?\u201d\u2014and especially when it comes to discipline. One of the rules of thumb that we\u2019ve adopted out of our research is: \u201cConnect before you correct.\u201d\u00a0 I am all for correcting kids for their behaviors \/ I am all for consequences for kids\u2019 behaviors\u2014especially logical consequences\u2014but I\u2019m always trying to figure out: \u201cWhat is the <em>belief<\/em> that is motivating my kid\u2019s behavior?\u201d and \u201cHow can I connect with their deepest heart cries, their deepest insecurities, their deepest fears that are often <em>motivating<\/em> some of that disobedience?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For years, we\u2019ve heard people say that, \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re just saying that \u201cConnect before you correct,\u201d is\u2014if you\u2019ve got a relationship \/ and it\u2019s a vibrant, thriving, warm relationship\u2014you can carry correction across that bridge a whole lot easier than if there is no heart-to-heart connection between parents and kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. And especially with our teenaged children\u2014when it comes to the gospel of grace and the power of warmth, I am always looking for opportunities to <em>apologize<\/em> to my kids. Out of our research, I feel like I\u2019m saying, \u201cI am sorry,\u201d to my kids two to three times a week. Especially when we\u2019re in conflict, normally, there is something that I\u2019ve done wrong\u2014it might be 90 percent them \/ but it is 10 percent me\u2014how I reacted too quickly \/ how I flared up. When I can apologize for that 10 percent, especially with our teenagers, it just changes the tone of the conversation. It kindles that warmth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You are hinting at what I want you to unpack. I want you to take the gospel of grace as a subject and let\u2019s coach parents on how to model the gospel of grace with their kids because I think grace can be a religious word for a lot of people in the evangelical community \/ in the religious community that they think they know what it is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but they have a tremendous opportunity to understand what it is as they model this with their children in every-day circumstances with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>You know, as a parent, I\u2019m pretty quick to say to my kids that I <em>love<\/em> them. Out of our research, I\u2019m trying to pair that phrase, \u201cI not only love you, but I really <em>like<\/em> you.\u201d\u00a0 I want my kids to know that I\u2019m especially fond of them \/ I\u2019m crazy about them, regardless of what they <em>do<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll too often, we, as parents\u2014we somewhat subtly, or maybe even blatantly, reward our kids for their performance. They grow up thinking: \u201cOh, as long as I get A\u2019s\u2026\u201d \/ \u201cAs long as I score soccer goals, Dad\u2014or Stepdad\u2014likes me.\u201d\u00a0 So, when our kids come home with report cards, we sit down with them, one at a time, on the couch in the living room. We go over their grades. If they\u2019ve gotten all \u201cA\u201d\u2019s, we go\u2014\u201cCongratulations on getting all \u2018A\u2019s!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cSo proud of you!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, yes; but what we say is, \u201cWould we feel any differently about <em>you<\/em> if you got all \u2018F\u2019s?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids are, I think, learning that my husband\u2019s and my love for them and our affection for them\u2014just like God\u2019s love for <em>us<\/em> isn\u2019t dependent upon what we do\u2014we\u2019re trying to communicate to our kids. In the midst of a culture that\u2019s all about performance, wouldn\u2019t it be great if our homes and our churches were the refuges where it wasn\u2019t about performance but it was simply about acceptance?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It may not have affected your feelings about your kids; but if your kids brought home all F\u2019s, the feelings about yourself, as a parent\u2014[Laughter]\u2014no, no!\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you\u2014I think this is where the performance thing kicks in gear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>That\u2019s for real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What do you say to the parent, who is taking it personally \/ who is absorbing the F\u2019s of their children and going, \u201cI\u2019m a failure\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, I think you\u2019ve really highlighted something important already, Dennis, which is we have to think about how our <em>own<\/em> issues are triggering our responses with our kids\u2014how are our own insecurities \/ our desire for validation\u2014how is that <em>infecting<\/em> how we interact with our kids?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The second thing I would say is\u2014one of my <em>favorite<\/em> theological truths is that all people are created in God\u2019s image\u2014all of us\u2014every child, \u201cF\u201d\u2019s, \u201cA\u201d\u2019s, soccer star, the kid who sits on the bench. What I\u2019m trying to do, as a parent, and what we want to help parents do, in general, is figure out: \u201cHow is <em>your<\/em> kid remarkable?\u201d\u2014I believe <em>every<\/em> kid is remarkable\u2014and \u201cHow do you help <em>your<\/em> kid with their unique talents shine?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The gospel of grace also steps in when there is an \u201cF\u201d\u2014not for not making the marks at school but an \u201cF\u201d for failure\u2014just: Mom and Dad set a boundary\u2014they make it clear what the expectations are. Maybe, it\u2019s the use of cell phone\u2014how often, how much, where you leave it. Maybe, they step over the boundaries and get over into some sites where they shouldn\u2019t be. Talk with parents, right now, about how you\u2019d coach them around their children not matching up to the standards that are being set for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m glad you raised that question because I want to be clear that I think families do need boundaries and that there needs to be consequences when kids cross over those boundaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our family, we do\u2014specifically with technology, we have the amount of time they get. You know, it\u2019s in a contract posted on our kitchen cabinet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes\u2014the amount of time they get to use their devices per day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Signed?\u2014fingerprints and all?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes, eye-scan\u2014the whole gamut. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>But\u2014no\u2014we want it to be clear, and public, and very overt for everybody. So, with technology, in particular, is a great example and a daily struggle for parents. We\u2019ve been very clear. And when our kids cross over boundaries, we have taken devices\u2014whether it\u2019s for an hour or two or whether it\u2019s for a day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019ll tell you this\u2014out of our research, every once in a while when Dave and I feel like our kids are particularly repentant \/ particularly open to growth\u2014sometimes, we will say to them: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 This one time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cjust like God shows us mercy\u2014we are going to show you mercy and grace,\u201d because we want them to connect that to the grace God shows us constantly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And that\u2019s a great illustration of it, by the way. And if you wouldn\u2019t mind, would you take a picture with your cell phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Of that contract?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014of that contract\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>You bet!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and would you send it back to me?\u00a0 We\u2019ll post it on our website if it\u2019s okay with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Of course!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve never forgotten a conversation we had with a guest, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who said he was concerned that, as parents, what we\u2019re doing is\u2014we\u2019re raising our children, when it comes to failure \/ when it comes to sin, to be sin avoiders and sin concealers\u2014so: \u201cStay away from sin. Don\u2019t go near it. And if you do go near it, make sure nobody finds out because, if they found out, you\u2019re in trouble.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He said, \u201cWhat we\u2019ve got to do is\u2014we\u2019ve got to teach our kids how to be sin confessors and sin repenters.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And he said: \u201cThe way you teach kids to do that is you show them what it looks like\u2014you become sin confessors and repenters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThey see Mom and Dad confessing sin to one another\u2014or you confessing to the kids: \u2018Dad blew it here. Will you forgive me?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And he said, \u201c<em>Now<\/em>, with our daughter, when she comes and says: \u2018I blew it. Will you forgive me?\u2019 we say, \u2018Yes.\u2019\u00a0 We hug, and we go get ice cream. She recognizes that we celebrate confession and repentance in this family. There may be consequences. It\u2019s not that you avoid any hardness,\u201d\u2014but he said, \u201cWe really want her to grow up, seeing: \u2018This is a good thing. When I\u2019m honest and I address this, there can be celebration around that.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>I\u2019m so glad you said that, Bob\u2014that one of the ways that <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> has impacted our own family is\u2014every night, at dinner, one of the questions we ask around the table is, \u201cWhat mistake did you make today?\u201d because we want\u2014and we started this when our youngest was about six years old\u2014because we want to make mistakes something that we talk about quite a bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, it\u2019s the mistake of overflowing the soap dispenser on the kitchen counter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut other times, there is actual confession to each other that we need to offer\u2014for tone of voice \/ anger\u2014whatever it might be. I love that ritual in our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You go all away around the table, including the parents?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Oh, yes!\u00a0 Yes; absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Would you be willing to share one that you\u2019ve recently shared at the dinner table?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Oh, yes; sure. I sound a little bit like a broken record, but probably the most recent one\u2014it wasn\u2019t last night because we had the youth group over last night\u2014but the night before would have been my tone of voice with one of my kids when this child frustrated me. I reacted in a tone of voice that didn\u2019t reflect the mom that I want to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just the modeling of that right there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for a mom\u2014because what mom doesn\u2019t struggle with tone of voice, and what kids don\u2019t notice when Mom or Dad are struggling with the tone of their voice?\u00a0 But what a great picture of repentance\u2014to be able to say it because the kids saw you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. And if you were to read a manuscript of what I said to my kids, it was probably okay; but the tone of voice was <em>not<\/em>. So, that\u2019s what I need to ask for forgiveness for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019ll tell you\u2014like I said, we started this when our youngest was about six. Boy, did she <em>love<\/em> keeping track of Mom\u2019s mistakes throughout the day!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>She came to dinner at night, with the four mistakes that I made\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve got a list for you, Mom.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>\u2014enumerated. So, she was very helpful!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At the core of all of this, you\u2019ve got to have a mom and dad who, first, really understand the gospel themselves; don\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019ve got to not be caught up in some half-baked \/ half-way to the real gospel\u2014performance-based approach to God\u2019s love and God\u2019s grace themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I run into a lot of moms and dads, who go, \u201cI haven\u2019t had my quiet time today,\u201d and you really wonder, \u201cDo you understand what the gospel is all about?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. And you\u2019re sitting with a mom who struggles with falling into behavioral understandings of the gospel. One of the really powerful experiences for me was\u2014one day, I printed out all of Paul\u2019s epistles. I just went through them with a pen, marking the uses of grace and how obedience is connected to grace. That was just so freeing for me to see <em>how<\/em> Paul wants his readers to <em>marinate<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014yes, in a sense, in our sin; absolutely\u2014but God\u2019s unmerited grace in response to that sin is breathtaking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, Kara, there is a listener, who is a mom or a dad\u2014they are in the throes of raising kids today. This is a tough time to be raising kids. Just out of what we\u2019ve talked about today, I want you to summarize it and just give a charge to parents to stay the course and keep passing on their faith, their love for Jesus Christ and the Scriptures, to their kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, the good news for parents, who are struggling with guilt or a feeling of failure, is\u2014as much as we love our kids, God loves our kids even more. Part of why we are passionate about sticky faith is because of Emmanuel who sticks with us. So, as we, as parents, experience that grace in our lives\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Kara: <\/strong>\u2014and our parenting, that\u2019s going to flow over into our relationships with our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No doubt about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If parents follow everything you say in the book, this guarantees\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong><em>No<\/em>!\u00a0 Thank you for bringing that up. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Because if you had answered, \u201cYes,\u201d to that, I was calling <em>60 Minutes<\/em>. I want them to do an\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>An expos\u00e9. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes\u2014around all your kids. We\u2019ll just see what perfect kids look like in Southern California. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Right; right. No, and that is the humbling reality\u2014is our research is about correlation \/ not causation. What we look at is\u2014the more that we tend to talk about \/ model grace, the more our students will; but there is <em>no<\/em> formula which, again, causes me, as a parent, to continue to be humble, and prayerful, and all the more desperate for God to guide me and guide our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There is no formula, but there is a command\u2014it is in Deuteronomy 6, [verses 4-9]: \u201cYou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I command you today, shall be on your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. Write them on the doorpost of your gates that go into your house.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is: \u201cDon\u2019t give up!\u201d\u00a0 You are battling for the soul of the next generation, and you have no idea how important your family is\u2014your child is\u2014to the next generation. They are, indeed, as Neil Postman said, \u201cThe living messengers we send to a time we will not see.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I really thought you were going to say: \u201cThere is no guarantee, but there is a command. And that\u2019s why you should go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get a copy of the book, <em>Sticky Faith<\/em>, by Kara Powell,\u201d\u2014which is not a command\u2014but it\u2019s a pretty good idea. We\u2019ve got copies of <em>The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family<\/em> with 100 practical, tested ideas for building lasting faith in kids. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to request your copy of the book; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014ask for <em>The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family<\/em>\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, during 2016, here at FamilyLife, we are all about anniversaries. I guess you could say, really, throughout the 40-year history of FamilyLife, we\u2019ve been all about anniversaries the whole time. We\u2019re celebrating 40 years of ministry this year, and the reason our ministry exists is so that more couples will have more anniversaries because their marriage is rooted and grounded in the kind of sticky faith we\u2019ve talked about here today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there are congratulations in order today for our friends, Royce and Ruth Ammon, who live in Potter, Nebraska. They are celebrating 32 years of marriage today, and they listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on KCMI. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just want to give a shout-out to the Ammons: \u201cCongratulations on 32 years together!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want you to know\u2014it\u2019s your anniversary and, for that matter, all of our anniversaries that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about. We\u2019re here to provide practical biblical help for marriages and families. We want to thank those of you who partner with us to make all of this happen. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. More than 65 percent of the revenue we need to operate this ministry comes from folks like you\u2014either as Legacy Partners or as occasional contributors to the ministry. <em>You<\/em> make it happen, and we\u2019re grateful for our partnership with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to make a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your donation.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you a CD that has a conversation we had recently with Francis and Lisa Chan about the subject of marriage. We\u2019ll send you a copy of the Chan\u2019s latest book on that subject\u2014it\u2019s called <em>You and Me Forever<\/em>. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make an online donation or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just mention that you\u2019d like the interview and the book. Or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll talk more about a sticky kind of faith in your family and how you make that happen with your kids. Hope you can tune in as we talk more with Kara Powell tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.2M"],"filesize_raw":["26428519"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303848.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303848.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Powell talks to parents about modeling grace to their kids. Kara explains that if our faith is only about behaviors then it's no wonder our youth are struggling.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2016-01-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ve heard the statistics that a lot of young people are leaving the faith when they head off to college. Kara Powell says, \u201cIt may be that the faith they are leaving was never the biblical gospel.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Too many young people graduate from high school with what Dallas Willard calls the gospel of sin management, which is a gospel that is all about behaviors\u2014a gospel that is some sort of checklist of things we\u2019re supposed to do and not do as followers of Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when young people graduate with that kind of view of the gospel, then, when they fail to live up to that list\u2014and note\u2014I said <em>when<\/em> they fail \/ not <em>if<\/em> they fail\u2014when they fail to live up to that list, they end up running from God and the faith community just when they need both the most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you want your kids to have a faith that sticks, you need to make sure that the faith you\u2019re sharing with them is the real thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll talk more about that with Kara Powell today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. A number of years ago, we asked\u2014a big survey\u2014we asked thousands of folks to tell us: \u201cAs parents, what are the most critical parenting issues you\u2019re facing?\u00a0 What would you like help with most?\u00a0 Is it sibling rivalry?\u00a0 Is it discipline?\u00a0 Is it bedtimes?\u00a0 Is it\u2026?\u201d\u2014whatever. I remember being surprised that far and away the number one thing parents were saying they wanted help with was spiritual formation in their kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right\u2014me too, Bob. I thought, \u201cSurely, the practical issues that parents face today\u2014some of the moral choices that kids are having to find their way around in the culture\u2014but overwhelmingly, this is what they said.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am pleased to report to you, as a listener, that we have an expert on the youth culture joining us today\u2014Dr. Kara Powell, who is well-versed in helping you understand where your children are spiritually and how you can help them develop\u2014shall we call it, Bob\u2014a sticky faith?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a great idea\u2014where did you come up with that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know!\u00a0 I think from, maybe\u2014maybe, it was from Dr. Powell. Welcome to the broadcast, Kara. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Thanks. It\u2019s great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She has written a book called <em>The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family<\/em>. I like the subtitle here\u2014it says, \u201c<em>Over 100 Practical and Tested Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Kids<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s needed today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKara and her husband Dave live in Southern California. They\u2019ve been married for \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t17 years \/ have three children. Kara gives leadership to the Fuller Youth Institute and is a faculty member at Fuller Theological Seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I liked about your book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you talked about how there were three sources of surveys that you did. One, you did a survey of 500 students\u2014a second one, you did of parents \/ a smaller survey of parents\u2014but then, third, you relied on research done by other leaders around the country that really helped you write <em>Sticky Faith<\/em>. What I would like you to do is take those three sources of research and give us, as parents, some coaching on what you found out from young people, their parents, and also from other researchers around the country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What were the big ideas?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, the reason that our team did the <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> research is we were <em>alarmed<\/em> by what actually happens to youth group graduates \/ to high school seniors from <em>great<\/em> families, like your listeners \/ from <em>great<\/em> churches once they graduate from high school. Really good research indicates that almost <em>half<\/em> of youth group graduates drift from God and the church after high school\u2014almost half. As a mom, and a leader, and a follower of Jesus, I am not satisfied with that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am sure that you and your listeners aren\u2019t either. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Some of them drift so far away\u2014they never come back to church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes, absolutely. And a good point there, Dennis, is about half of those who drift do return to the faith\u2014generally, when they get older, get married, and have kids. I celebrate the half that return to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But they come back with some scars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Exactly\u2014because you think about the <em>significant<\/em> life choices that are made in those college and emerging adult \/ young adult years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPlus, I\u2019m still grieving over the half who drift and never do return to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>So, that\u2019s why we studied young people and churches \/ that\u2019s why we integrated other people\u2019s research. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the major things that has impacted my <em>own<\/em> parenting with my 14, 12, and 9-year-olds is that young people have adopted really toxic views of the faith itself. Too many young people graduate from high school with what Dallas Willard calls the gospel of sin management, which is a gospel that is all about behaviors\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a gospel that is some sort of checklist of things we\u2019re supposed to do and not do, as followers of Jesus. So, when young people graduate with that kind of view of the gospel\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>\u2014then, <em>when<\/em> they fail to live up to that list\u2014and note that I said <em>when<\/em> they fail \/ not<em> if<\/em> they fail\u2014when they fail to live up to that list, they end up running from God and the faith community just when they need both the most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You lay on top of the gospel of sin management what Christian Smith described as moralistic, therapeutic deism, which is kind of an aberrant view of who God is and what our purpose in life is\u2014but it\u2019s one that a lot of kids are growing up, thinking: \u201cThere is a God. He loves me. As long as I play by the rules,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014 \u201cI\u2019ll lead a\u2014I\u2019ll get a happy life out of that.\u201d\u00a0 You put the gospel of sin management over that\u2014it\u2019s no wonder that kids get to college and go, \u201cThis is a\u2014this doesn\u2019t work.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Absolutely. I\u2019ll be honest\u2014and this is going to sound a little heretical for a theology faculty member to say\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but if our faith is only about behaviors, no wonder young people are drifting from the faith. I wouldn\u2019t want a faith that is only about behaviors either. The good news is what separates Christianity from ever other religion\u2014is grace. So, at the heart of <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> and what we long for\u2014for families\u2014is that we recapture what it means to embrace and have our family life be <em>permeated<\/em> with grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In Deuteronomy 6, it\u2019s real clear, when God wants to form a nation, He challenges parents to have these words on their hearts first\u2014not on their behaviors but on their hearts, and they shall pass them on\u2014it commands us in Deuteronomy 6\u2014to their children as they\u2019re getting up in the morning, as they\u2019re walking by the way, as they are retiring at night. Christian faith ought to be modeled by parents who have the real disease. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have a group of people in the Bible that are spoken of who were very behaviorally-oriented\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they are called the Pharisees. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Exactly! [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, they kept the law but missed God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>And that\u2019s not a group we want to aspire to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, they didn\u2019t have the real disease at all. Parents\u2014their challenge is to avoid turning out pharisaical children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014who are law-keepers but don\u2019t have the love of God in their heart and don\u2019t have a love <em>for<\/em> God in their heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>And Dennis, you are so right. That\u2019s one of the many ways that our research has impacted me <em>personally<\/em>\u2014not just as a parent \/ not just as a wife, but as a follower of Jesus. I mean, it\u2019s caused me to hold the mirror to myself and say, \u201cHow have I truncated the gospel to also being only about behaviors?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I do want to say this\u2014because I imagine some folks are wondering: \u201cWell, wait a second!\u00a0 Aren\u2019t behaviors a part of what it means to obey God?\u201d\u00a0 And sure enough, there are a lot of do\u2019s and don\u2019ts in Scripture; but one of the ways that I frame obedience for my kids at home\u2014and when I have a chance to talk with teenagers, and college students, and young adults\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I try to frame it this way: \u201cOur obedience flows out of our gratitude for God\u2019s grace.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Our lives are great big thank-you notes back to God. We\u2019re not trying to obey to make God love us more or like us more. It\u2019s because we are so <em>thankful<\/em> for what God has done for us in Jesus Christ\u2014<em>that\u2019s<\/em> what motivates our obedience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, honestly, I look back on us raising our kids. There is a lot of behavior that you\u2019re trying to correct, day in and day out,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014whether it\u2019s complaining, or grumbling, or griping, or sibling rivalry, or just getting them to act civilized. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Eye rolls \/ tone of voice\u2014you know it!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, it\u2019s easy to see how a parent can get so focused on, \u201cI\u2019ve got to get this behavior dealt with because it\u2019s driving everybody crazy.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes; yes. And I mean, if you had eaves-dropped in our house\u2014literally, last night, you would have seen some of that. [Laughter]\u00a0 That\u2019s where I want to weave in another important finding from our <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> research; and that is, the power of <em>warmth<\/em> in a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProbably, in the last six months in our research, what\u2019s impacted me more than anything else: \u201cIs my heart connected to my kids\u2019 hearts?\u201d\u2014and especially when it comes to discipline. One of the rules of thumb that we\u2019ve adopted out of our research is: \u201cConnect before you correct.\u201d\u00a0 I am all for correcting kids for their behaviors \/ I am all for consequences for kids\u2019 behaviors\u2014especially logical consequences\u2014but I\u2019m always trying to figure out: \u201cWhat is the <em>belief<\/em> that is motivating my kid\u2019s behavior?\u201d and \u201cHow can I connect with their deepest heart cries, their deepest insecurities, their deepest fears that are often <em>motivating<\/em> some of that disobedience?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>For years, we\u2019ve heard people say that, \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re just saying that \u201cConnect before you correct,\u201d is\u2014if you\u2019ve got a relationship \/ and it\u2019s a vibrant, thriving, warm relationship\u2014you can carry correction across that bridge a whole lot easier than if there is no heart-to-heart connection between parents and kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. And especially with our teenaged children\u2014when it comes to the gospel of grace and the power of warmth, I am always looking for opportunities to <em>apologize<\/em> to my kids. Out of our research, I feel like I\u2019m saying, \u201cI am sorry,\u201d to my kids two to three times a week. Especially when we\u2019re in conflict, normally, there is something that I\u2019ve done wrong\u2014it might be 90 percent them \/ but it is 10 percent me\u2014how I reacted too quickly \/ how I flared up. When I can apologize for that 10 percent, especially with our teenagers, it just changes the tone of the conversation. It kindles that warmth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You are hinting at what I want you to unpack. I want you to take the gospel of grace as a subject and let\u2019s coach parents on how to model the gospel of grace with their kids because I think grace can be a religious word for a lot of people in the evangelical community \/ in the religious community that they think they know what it is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but they have a tremendous opportunity to understand what it is as they model this with their children in every-day circumstances with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>You know, as a parent, I\u2019m pretty quick to say to my kids that I <em>love<\/em> them. Out of our research, I\u2019m trying to pair that phrase, \u201cI not only love you, but I really <em>like<\/em> you.\u201d\u00a0 I want my kids to know that I\u2019m especially fond of them \/ I\u2019m crazy about them, regardless of what they <em>do<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll too often, we, as parents\u2014we somewhat subtly, or maybe even blatantly, reward our kids for their performance. They grow up thinking: \u201cOh, as long as I get A\u2019s\u2026\u201d \/ \u201cAs long as I score soccer goals, Dad\u2014or Stepdad\u2014likes me.\u201d\u00a0 So, when our kids come home with report cards, we sit down with them, one at a time, on the couch in the living room. We go over their grades. If they\u2019ve gotten all \u201cA\u201d\u2019s, we go\u2014\u201cCongratulations on getting all \u2018A\u2019s!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cSo proud of you!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, yes; but what we say is, \u201cWould we feel any differently about <em>you<\/em> if you got all \u2018F\u2019s?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids are, I think, learning that my husband\u2019s and my love for them and our affection for them\u2014just like God\u2019s love for <em>us<\/em> isn\u2019t dependent upon what we do\u2014we\u2019re trying to communicate to our kids. In the midst of a culture that\u2019s all about performance, wouldn\u2019t it be great if our homes and our churches were the refuges where it wasn\u2019t about performance but it was simply about acceptance?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It may not have affected your feelings about your kids; but if your kids brought home all F\u2019s, the feelings about yourself, as a parent\u2014[Laughter]\u2014no, no!\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you\u2014I think this is where the performance thing kicks in gear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>That\u2019s for real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What do you say to the parent, who is taking it personally \/ who is absorbing the F\u2019s of their children and going, \u201cI\u2019m a failure\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, I think you\u2019ve really highlighted something important already, Dennis, which is we have to think about how our <em>own<\/em> issues are triggering our responses with our kids\u2014how are our own insecurities \/ our desire for validation\u2014how is that <em>infecting<\/em> how we interact with our kids?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The second thing I would say is\u2014one of my <em>favorite<\/em> theological truths is that all people are created in God\u2019s image\u2014all of us\u2014every child, \u201cF\u201d\u2019s, \u201cA\u201d\u2019s, soccer star, the kid who sits on the bench. What I\u2019m trying to do, as a parent, and what we want to help parents do, in general, is figure out: \u201cHow is <em>your<\/em> kid remarkable?\u201d\u2014I believe <em>every<\/em> kid is remarkable\u2014and \u201cHow do you help <em>your<\/em> kid with their unique talents shine?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The gospel of grace also steps in when there is an \u201cF\u201d\u2014not for not making the marks at school but an \u201cF\u201d for failure\u2014just: Mom and Dad set a boundary\u2014they make it clear what the expectations are. Maybe, it\u2019s the use of cell phone\u2014how often, how much, where you leave it. Maybe, they step over the boundaries and get over into some sites where they shouldn\u2019t be. Talk with parents, right now, about how you\u2019d coach them around their children not matching up to the standards that are being set for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m glad you raised that question because I want to be clear that I think families do need boundaries and that there needs to be consequences when kids cross over those boundaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our family, we do\u2014specifically with technology, we have the amount of time they get. You know, it\u2019s in a contract posted on our kitchen cabinet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes\u2014the amount of time they get to use their devices per day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Signed?\u2014fingerprints and all?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes, eye-scan\u2014the whole gamut. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>But\u2014no\u2014we want it to be clear, and public, and very overt for everybody. So, with technology, in particular, is a great example and a daily struggle for parents. We\u2019ve been very clear. And when our kids cross over boundaries, we have taken devices\u2014whether it\u2019s for an hour or two or whether it\u2019s for a day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019ll tell you this\u2014out of our research, every once in a while when Dave and I feel like our kids are particularly repentant \/ particularly open to growth\u2014sometimes, we will say to them: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 This one time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cjust like God shows us mercy\u2014we are going to show you mercy and grace,\u201d because we want them to connect that to the grace God shows us constantly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And that\u2019s a great illustration of it, by the way. And if you wouldn\u2019t mind, would you take a picture with your cell phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Of that contract?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014of that contract\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>You bet!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and would you send it back to me?\u00a0 We\u2019ll post it on our website if it\u2019s okay with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Of course!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve never forgotten a conversation we had with a guest, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who said he was concerned that, as parents, what we\u2019re doing is\u2014we\u2019re raising our children, when it comes to failure \/ when it comes to sin, to be sin avoiders and sin concealers\u2014so: \u201cStay away from sin. Don\u2019t go near it. And if you do go near it, make sure nobody finds out because, if they found out, you\u2019re in trouble.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He said, \u201cWhat we\u2019ve got to do is\u2014we\u2019ve got to teach our kids how to be sin confessors and sin repenters.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And he said: \u201cThe way you teach kids to do that is you show them what it looks like\u2014you become sin confessors and repenters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThey see Mom and Dad confessing sin to one another\u2014or you confessing to the kids: \u2018Dad blew it here. Will you forgive me?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And he said, \u201c<em>Now<\/em>, with our daughter, when she comes and says: \u2018I blew it. Will you forgive me?\u2019 we say, \u2018Yes.\u2019\u00a0 We hug, and we go get ice cream. She recognizes that we celebrate confession and repentance in this family. There may be consequences. It\u2019s not that you avoid any hardness,\u201d\u2014but he said, \u201cWe really want her to grow up, seeing: \u2018This is a good thing. When I\u2019m honest and I address this, there can be celebration around that.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>I\u2019m so glad you said that, Bob\u2014that one of the ways that <em>Sticky Faith<\/em> has impacted our own family is\u2014every night, at dinner, one of the questions we ask around the table is, \u201cWhat mistake did you make today?\u201d because we want\u2014and we started this when our youngest was about six years old\u2014because we want to make mistakes something that we talk about quite a bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, it\u2019s the mistake of overflowing the soap dispenser on the kitchen counter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut other times, there is actual confession to each other that we need to offer\u2014for tone of voice \/ anger\u2014whatever it might be. I love that ritual in our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You go all away around the table, including the parents?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Oh, yes!\u00a0 Yes; absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Would you be willing to share one that you\u2019ve recently shared at the dinner table?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Oh, yes; sure. I sound a little bit like a broken record, but probably the most recent one\u2014it wasn\u2019t last night because we had the youth group over last night\u2014but the night before would have been my tone of voice with one of my kids when this child frustrated me. I reacted in a tone of voice that didn\u2019t reflect the mom that I want to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Just the modeling of that right there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for a mom\u2014because what mom doesn\u2019t struggle with tone of voice, and what kids don\u2019t notice when Mom or Dad are struggling with the tone of their voice?\u00a0 But what a great picture of repentance\u2014to be able to say it because the kids saw you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. And if you were to read a manuscript of what I said to my kids, it was probably okay; but the tone of voice was <em>not<\/em>. So, that\u2019s what I need to ask for forgiveness for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019ll tell you\u2014like I said, we started this when our youngest was about six. Boy, did she <em>love<\/em> keeping track of Mom\u2019s mistakes throughout the day!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>She came to dinner at night, with the four mistakes that I made\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve got a list for you, Mom.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>\u2014enumerated. So, she was very helpful!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At the core of all of this, you\u2019ve got to have a mom and dad who, first, really understand the gospel themselves; don\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019ve got to not be caught up in some half-baked \/ half-way to the real gospel\u2014performance-based approach to God\u2019s love and God\u2019s grace themselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I run into a lot of moms and dads, who go, \u201cI haven\u2019t had my quiet time today,\u201d and you really wonder, \u201cDo you understand what the gospel is all about?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Yes. And you\u2019re sitting with a mom who struggles with falling into behavioral understandings of the gospel. One of the really powerful experiences for me was\u2014one day, I printed out all of Paul\u2019s epistles. I just went through them with a pen, marking the uses of grace and how obedience is connected to grace. That was just so freeing for me to see <em>how<\/em> Paul wants his readers to <em>marinate<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014yes, in a sense, in our sin; absolutely\u2014but God\u2019s unmerited grace in response to that sin is breathtaking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, Kara, there is a listener, who is a mom or a dad\u2014they are in the throes of raising kids today. This is a tough time to be raising kids. Just out of what we\u2019ve talked about today, I want you to summarize it and just give a charge to parents to stay the course and keep passing on their faith, their love for Jesus Christ and the Scriptures, to their kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Well, the good news for parents, who are struggling with guilt or a feeling of failure, is\u2014as much as we love our kids, God loves our kids even more. Part of why we are passionate about sticky faith is because of Emmanuel who sticks with us. So, as we, as parents, experience that grace in our lives\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Kara: <\/strong>\u2014and our parenting, that\u2019s going to flow over into our relationships with our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No doubt about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If parents follow everything you say in the book, this guarantees\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong><em>No<\/em>!\u00a0 Thank you for bringing that up. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Because if you had answered, \u201cYes,\u201d to that, I was calling <em>60 Minutes<\/em>. I want them to do an\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>An expos\u00e9. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes\u2014around all your kids. We\u2019ll just see what perfect kids look like in Southern California. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara: <\/strong>Right; right. No, and that is the humbling reality\u2014is our research is about correlation \/ not causation. What we look at is\u2014the more that we tend to talk about \/ model grace, the more our students will; but there is <em>no<\/em> formula which, again, causes me, as a parent, to continue to be humble, and prayerful, and all the more desperate for God to guide me and guide our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There is no formula, but there is a command\u2014it is in Deuteronomy 6, [verses 4-9]: \u201cYou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I command you today, shall be on your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. Write them on the doorpost of your gates that go into your house.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is: \u201cDon\u2019t give up!\u201d\u00a0 You are battling for the soul of the next generation, and you have no idea how important your family is\u2014your child is\u2014to the next generation. They are, indeed, as Neil Postman said, \u201cThe living messengers we send to a time we will not see.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I really thought you were going to say: \u201cThere is no guarantee, but there is a command. And that\u2019s why you should go to FamilyLifeToday.com and get a copy of the book, <em>Sticky Faith<\/em>, by Kara Powell,\u201d\u2014which is not a command\u2014but it\u2019s a pretty good idea. We\u2019ve got copies of <em>The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family<\/em> with 100 practical, tested ideas for building lasting faith in kids. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to request your copy of the book; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014ask for <em>The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family<\/em>\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, during 2016, here at FamilyLife, we are all about anniversaries. I guess you could say, really, throughout the 40-year history of FamilyLife, we\u2019ve been all about anniversaries the whole time. We\u2019re celebrating 40 years of ministry this year, and the reason our ministry exists is so that more couples will have more anniversaries because their marriage is rooted and grounded in the kind of sticky faith we\u2019ve talked about here today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there are congratulations in order today for our friends, Royce and Ruth Ammon, who live in Potter, Nebraska. They are celebrating 32 years of marriage today, and they listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on KCMI. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just want to give a shout-out to the Ammons: \u201cCongratulations on 32 years together!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want you to know\u2014it\u2019s your anniversary and, for that matter, all of our anniversaries that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about. We\u2019re here to provide practical biblical help for marriages and families. We want to thank those of you who partner with us to make all of this happen. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. More than 65 percent of the revenue we need to operate this ministry comes from folks like you\u2014either as Legacy Partners or as occasional contributors to the ministry. <em>You<\/em> make it happen, and we\u2019re grateful for our partnership with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to make a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your donation.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you a CD that has a conversation we had recently with Francis and Lisa Chan about the subject of marriage. We\u2019ll send you a copy of the Chan\u2019s latest book on that subject\u2014it\u2019s called <em>You and Me Forever<\/em>. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make an online donation or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just mention that you\u2019d like the interview and the book. Or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll talk more about a sticky kind of faith in your family and how you make that happen with your kids. Hope you can tune in as we talk more with Kara Powell tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2016 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303848"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303848"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303848"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303848"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}