{"id":303788,"date":"2015-12-18T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-12-18T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-impact-of-depression-on-a-marriage\/"},"modified":"2015-12-18T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-12-18T17:00:00","slug":"the-impact-of-depression-on-a-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-impact-of-depression-on-a-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"The Impact of Depression on a Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Tommy and Teresa Nelson | Series: The Dark Hole of Depression | How does depression affect a marriage? Author and pastor Tommy Nelson and his wife, Teresa, talk about the debilitating depression that challenged Tommy&#8217;s health and ultimately their marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How does depression affect a marriage? Author and pastor Tommy Nelson and his wife, Teresa, talk about the debilitating depression that challenged Tommy&#8217;s health and ultimately their marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-12-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.71M","filesize_raw":"24860597","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2873],"tags":[4009,5907,2877,5906,5908],"podcast_series":[7536],"cwp_profile":[9083],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303788","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-depression","tag-despair","tag-marriage","tag-physical-pain","tag-spouse-of-depressed-person","podcast_series-the-dark-hole-of-depression","cwp_profile-tommy-and-teresa-nelson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303788\/the-impact-of-depression-on-a-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303788\/the-impact-of-depression-on-a-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"PCqWC8MfT2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-impact-of-depression-on-a-marriage\/\">The Impact of Depression on a Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-impact-of-depression-on-a-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=PCqWC8MfT2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Impact of Depression on a Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"PCqWC8MfT2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-12-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-12-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In the late spring of 2006, Tommy Nelson was in pain; and he had no idea what was causing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I hadn\u2019t been in a hospital since my knee operation in 1973. So, when I said, \u201cI\u2019ve got to go to a hospital,\u201d she knew something was wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I looked at the doctor that was taking care of him; and I said: \u201cWhat is really going on?\u00a0 This is something more than allergies. This is something more than sinus infection. This is an emotional\/mental something.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s when he said: \u201cThis isn\u2019t it\u2014it\u2019s depression.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear today how Tommy Nelson made it through the dark hole of depression and found himself on the other side. Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, depression can be de-habilitating. You will sometimes hear people talking about being depressed; and someone thinks, \u201cYou know they just need to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201csnap out of it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes\u2014\u201cGet over it and cheer up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You hear about people giving\u2014\u201cDo these three things,\u201d \u201cGet some exercise; and maybe, do this and do that.\u201d\u00a0 It just is not that simple. Depression can truly paralyze a person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have been listening all this week to a series of broadcasts we did a couple of years ago with Tommy and Teresa Nelson. Tommy is the pastor of Denton Bible Church in Denton, Texas. He and his wife Teresa had been married at the time for 33 years. They had never faced anything like this, as a couple, either in their marriage or in their ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is a compelling conversation about what they went through as we\u2019ve already heard this week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we dive back into that conversation, though, we want to remind our listeners about the special opportunity that we\u2019re facing, here at FamilyLife, during the month of December\u2014a matching-gift opportunity that, honestly, Dennis, couldn\u2019t come at a more strategic time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It couldn\u2019t. And what I want our listeners to hear: \u201cYour generosity changes lives.\u201d Listen to this letter from this guy by the name of Dean\u2014he said: \u201cThanks for all the encouraging and challenging programs on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. They brighten my day while I\u2019m working on airplanes, here in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. I appreciate all you do to spur me on and call me to be faithful, as a man, husband, and father.\u201d\u00a0 Then, he went on to add a P.S. and said he spent last February, with his 14-year-old-son, as they went through <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there is another letter, Bob\u2014I\u2019ve just got to share it with our listeners because this is why we do what we do here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a dad who\u2019s got a four-year-old \/ he describes her as a \u201cfour-year-old\u2014\u2018I\u2019m-going-to-be-five-\u2018 daughter.\u201d She\u2019s the only girl in the family. And he caught a glimpse of what a daddy\/daughter date ought to be, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I\u2019ll just read what he said here: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause of your radio program, I went ahead and invited her out on her very first special daddy\/daughter date. For nearly three-and-a-half hours, she talked non-stop over cheeseburgers, fries, and ice cream cones. All I had to do was sit there and look directly into those big blue eyes, smile and nod, and occasionally, brush back the stray curl that always seemed to escape that unruly mop of hers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur date was the first time I had deliberately treated my daughter like a little lady; and perhaps, the longest amount of time that she had ever had my undivided attention. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we got back home, she launched from the cab of my truck, wrapped her little arms tightly around my neck; and as she clung to me, unwilling to let go, she whispered, \u201cThank you, Daddy, for making me feel so special without the boys.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s got three brothers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe went on to say he had tears streaming down his face as he held onto her too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are all about helping men be men\u2014as single men, as married men, as fathers, as grandfathers. I believe there is a battle in our nation, as never before, of whether men are going to get it\u2014whether they are going to embrace their Savior and be the man God created them to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> has a history of doing here is\u2014not beating up on guys, but coming alongside them \/ putting our arm around them and showing them how they can be the man God created them to be. Your generosity makes that kind of ministry possible, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Will you stand with us, here in December?\u00a0 We need people <em>now<\/em> to say, \u201cKeep these messages coming on strong to my community, to my state, to this nation, and around the world.\u201d\u00a0 The world needs to know how Jesus Christ can make a marriage and a family work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well\u2014and here\u2019s the great opportunity that you have, as a listener\u2014when you make a donation today, that donation is going to be matched with a second donation that is double whatever you give. I mean, I wish there was a stock like this; right?\u2014where\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought about that\u2014seriously. [Laughter]\u00a0 If <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> was a stock, invest!\u00a0 Frankly, Barbara and I do. You and Mary Ann give. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We invest in this ministry. I mean, we\u2019re talking about sending it on ahead. The family <em>is<\/em> God\u2019s smallest battle formation for this nation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m sorry, Bob, to pick it back up again; but <em>seriously<\/em>, folks, marriages and families are in trouble. And if we don\u2019t come alongside them now, you know\u2014what are we going to leave for our children \/ our grandchildren?\u00a0 This is an urgent, vital ministry to your community, your state, and your nation. We\u2019ve got to make this work now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me explain again how this matching gift works\u2014when you make a donation, during the month of December, we\u2019ve had some friends who have agreed that they will match your donation at twice whatever you give. So, you give $100 \/ they give $200 dollars. You give $500 \/ they give $1,000. Whatever you are able to give, they are going to match it with twice as much money\u2014up to a total of $2 million. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to take full advantage of that matching gift. To do so, we need you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation. Or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY, and make a donation over the phone. And pray for us, if you would, that we\u2019ll be able to take full advantage of this matching gift between now and the end of December. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright, let me move us into the conversation we\u2019ve been listening to this week with Tommy and Teresa Nelson. They joined us a number of years ago to talk about a period in Tommy\u2019s life when he had wrestled with depression. This took him out of the pulpit. He was out of the ministry for about six months\u2014pretty much non-functional during that period. In fact, they wondered, \u201cWhat was wrong with him?\u201d\u00a0 Finally, it was a doctor, who diagnosed that he was experiencing depression; and he was treated for depression. They shared with us what it was like for them as they went on this journey, experiencing this intense depression. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to talk for a few moments just about how depression impacted your marriage; but, more importantly, talk about\u2014Teresa\u2014how you helped love Tommy out of that depression. I\u2019m not saying you\u2019re the key or <em>the<\/em> solution\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you\u2019re shaking your head no\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but I\u2019ll bet he would say you were one of them; and without you, it wouldn\u2019t have been possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did depression impact this relationship with your sidekick for 33 years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, it turned it upside down because I became the strong person, I became the safe person, I became the decision-maker. Tommy totally depended upon me\u2014almost to a stranglehold on me. By the time he was well, I mean, I really felt like, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can go on.\u201d\u00a0 He had such a stranglehold on me, as far as dependence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Like the world\u2019s biggest tick\u2014big, massive, 600-pound tick. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I don\u2019t mean that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Tommy does not weigh 600 pounds\u2014lest people take that imagery here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>But I mean totally dependent upon me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was it different than if he was convalescing after surgery for four months?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, that would have been a piece of cake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Because, mentally, he was struggling. I didn\u2019t feel like he could make\u2014well, he couldn\u2019t make decisions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I could barely drive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>He couldn\u2019t drive. I drove him; and even then, that was difficult because he wanted to be in the house. Yes, it was just total dependence upon me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And it wasn\u2019t mutuality in the sense that I gave and she gave. It was parasitic to the point of\u2014I really thought, at times, Bob\u2014I thought: \u201cWhat would happen if, all of a sudden, Teresa had a stroke?\u2014if, all of a sudden, Teresa broke her hip and had to go in and have her hip pinned?\u00a0 What would I do?!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes\u2014well\u2014and it\u2019s one thing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And you can\u2019t get loose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0It is one thing if you\u2019re helping somebody who is, again, recovering from something physical; but you had somebody who had both a physical and an emotional thing going on. How do you keep that from being personal? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you know what I mean?\u00a0 I mean, there had to be times when\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And she did keep it from getting personal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014when his attitude, when his anger, when his frustration\u2014how did you keep from feeling like, \u201cYou just need to talk nicer to me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, to be honest\u2014when it first started\u2014before they said \u201cDepression \/ Clinical Depression\u201d\u2014whatever\u2014when it first started, and it looked just like an allergy or something like that, he got so panicky\u2014not panicky\u2014I don\u2019t know what to say\u2014just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Self-contained\u2014you\u2019re so\u2014your hand is on your pulse, continually, because you are trying to figure out what\u2019s wrong with you\u2014you are self-obsessed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He was self-obsessed\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>He was trying to make himself well because he wanted to do the Romans conference and he\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He was doing a teaching series through the Book of Romans?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>He was going to do a whole conference on the weekend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>We were going to put it on video, and we were going to put Romans on video. I thought,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>So, he wanted to be well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cIf I can do this and die, I\u2019ll be happy. I\u2019ve got to get this Romans down.\u201d\u00a0 It <em>nailed<\/em> me, and I couldn\u2019t get it done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>But when it was just that\u2014where we thought it was allergies or something else\u2014he was just\u2014to the doctors: \u201cGive me this. Give me that,\u201d\u2014trying to make himself well. Well, it was just getting kind of <em>annoying<\/em> because it was just so: \u201cHelp me,\u201d \u201cHelp me,\u201d \u201cHelp me,\u201d \u201cDo this for me.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne Sunday evening, I was at prayer\u2014I went to prayer, and I left him at home. He called the church and got the guy in charge of sound to take him to Louisville, which is about 20 miles from Denton, to a doctor's office to get medication. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u2014to help me sleep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I felt like he was going <em>around<\/em> me because that\u2019s what I started feeling\u2014was he was going around me on medication \/ going around me on everything. I was beginning to be very irritated with him\u2014to be honest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I came out of prayer, one of the church secretaries was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and my daughter-in-law \/ my youngest daughter-in-law\u2014were standing outside of prayer, with this just horrific look on their face, like, \u201cOh, my gosh!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u201cTommy\u2019s gone nuts.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>\u201cSomething\u2019s wrong with Tommy.\u201d\u00a0 I felt immediate anger\u2014I really did. I felt it up to here\u2014I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to start calling you COTU\u2014the \u2018Center of the Universe.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I mean, I was really angry because I felt like he was going <em>around<\/em> me \/ he was being deceptive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here is the question I want to ask you at this point\u2014how does the Center of the Universe live out the Song of Solomon in the midst of depression?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Let\u2019s break to a commercial right here. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Tommy, quit it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, the truth must come out, my friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, he didn\u2019t <em>stay<\/em> the Center of the Universe. I mean, it was just\u2014he was trying to fix everything, and he was trying to make it right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, he went into a true clinical depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Would it be fair to say that from the middle of May\u2014maybe even before that\u2014until the middle of November, you had a romance-less marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, yes. It was a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019d say from the middle of May to, at least, October.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Teresa\u2014and I know there are a lot of folks, who are listening, who are going, \u201cI know that sounds like a long time, but I\u2019ve been at it for two years\u201d or \u201c\u2026three years\u201d or \u201c\u2026five years in a romance-less marriage.\u201d Did it cause you to begin to go: \u201cI don\u2019t know that there\u2019s hope. This may be worse until he dies or I die\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>There were a couple of times I thought\u2014helpless\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but <em>not<\/em> <em>really<\/em>. There were a couple of times I just thought\u2014I guess I thought, \u201cI hope it\u2019s not this way forever,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Forever\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>\u2014because to touch him was painful to him\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>\u2014to just rub his arm or anything like that was just painful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t wear a watch \/ I couldn\u2019t wear a wedding ring\u2014it hurt. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I mean, he had real, true pain\u2014that they had to give him medication that they give diabetics a lot of time for neuropathy to help their arm and leg pain \/ they gave him that for a while. But yes\u2014it was not odd\u2014it was like, \u201cThis is not just my duty, but I love this man.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is your assignment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Yes: \u201cBut this is what has been dealt to you right now.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m listening to you\u2014and I know Bob is thinking the same thing\u2014what a courageous love. It is one thing to love when you\u2019re being loved in return; but it\u2019s another thing to keep on loving and stepping into adversity, and caring, and sacrificing, and loving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve not allowed Tommy to speak much on this broadcast, and I\u2019m still not going to let him talk. [Laughter] Instead, I\u2019m going to ask Keith to play a little something for you, Teresa. You\u2019ve probably heard this,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy:<\/strong> Oh, no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but I want you to hear what he said before this happened because there have really been a lot of holy moments on the broadcast. This was really a pretty sacred moment, as we turned to your husband and asked him to just kind of give you a verbal love letter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We were asking him to model for the rest of the audience: \u201cHow do you write a love letter?\u00a0 How do you express romance to your wife?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And this was impromptu\u2014it\u2019s not like you told me, two weeks previous: \u201cNow, listen, we\u2019re going to do Valentine\u2019s. So, be ready.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When you\u2019ve been in gear, like you have on the Song of Solomon for so many years, you don\u2019t need warning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No, you don\u2019t need a warm-up\u2014we just bring you in out of the bullpen and say, \u201cStart throwing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And I said, \u201cThis will be cake\u2014no problem.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cNo problem.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Mr. Stoic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for my two faithful boys who are faithful because of the continual model and devotion of their mother. Thank you for the freedom I have in ministry\u2014not to be taken out because my wife\u2014I\u2019m choking up \/ this is hard to do. Thank you that I can minister and never worry about being canceled out because you are so faithful. No matter whatever happens to me in life, it will be because of you. I love you. Tommy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I drove you to depression?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhatever happens\u2026\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>What a man of God!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, now, here is the rest of the assignment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, I knew this was going to happen as sure as I came here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That was then;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014this is now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. It ain\u2019t Valentine\u2019s, though, you know, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, but you\u2019ve got to make up for a six-month drought, Tommy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right. Am I to sign-off this time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just\u2014yes\u2014I mean, I\u2019ve got to think that what you can express today is deeper and richer than what you could express\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and it was pretty good back then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. Give me your finger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes, you\u2019ve got to touch my finger right here. I would say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTJ \/ Teresa Jo, \u201c\u2026where sin increases, grace abounds...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Romans 5:20]\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe way we know of God\u2019s love is through struggle and pain\u2014we find the depth of who He is. That\u2019s what I\u2019ve found in you\u2014that you said, \u201c\u2026til death do us part,\u201d and you said, \u201c\u2026for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer\u2026\u201d I had about a year of just the poorer and the worst, and my strength through all of it was you. You never moved\/ you never faltered\u2014you never stopped loving me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou told me things that I didn\u2019t want to hear. You took me to the Word. You let me follow you around, buying at Kroger\u2019s, just like your idiot accomplice\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and you <em>never<\/em> \/ you never faltered\u2014that you always loved me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd when I doubted my health and I even doubted, at times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cGod, like David, You take <em>no<\/em> <em>pleasure<\/em> in me anymore,\u201d\u2014but one thing I never doubted was you. So, <em>thank<\/em> <em>you<\/em> for sounding the depths of your love. And now, I have more to love, more to praise you for, and a greater sermon for a greater day. Thank you, Baby. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You guys have been so gracious to allow us to peer into a tough spot; and yet, you all know\u2014because you\u2019ve talked to people\u2014you are comforting others with the comfort with which you have been comforted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know, we all go through these times. We all look like we\u2019ve got it together\u2014you\u2019ve got your nice shirt, and I\u2019ve got mine. We\u2019re all dressed like everything is wired, and life is great, and all is well; but scratch it underneath the surface an inch, and there\u2019s pain in every life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just appreciate both of you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>You bet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014coming and being real. And I think mostly, though, out of it, pointing people back to the King and the sovereign God\u2014and, like Job, you know, in the last chapter, when he said, \u201cI used to say I knew You; but now, I\u2019ve seen You.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I read that paragraph 60,000 times\u2014that you\u2019re talking about\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve heard of You with the hearing of an ear; but now, I see You.\u201d\u00a0 That there was a depth that Job went to in that\u2014that transcended everything he had ever been to. I went through that <em>so<\/em> <em>many<\/em> <em>times<\/em>\u2014I never tried to memorize the text, but it\u2019s on my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you a better man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, yes\u2014well, a long way to go\u2014but I\u2019ll tell you what, Bob, it will give you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014every pastor needs to go through some kind of gut-check like this because it will take away your bionic image, and it will make you compassionate. I mean, when you see people that are going through struggles, even if it\u2019s not depression\u2014no matter what kind of pain they\u2019re going through\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u2014it will make you very sensitive to help those people because you know what it was to be there when there was no way out \/ when there was no light at the end of that tunnel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We had an opportunity, not long ago, to sit down with a physician, Dr. Charles Hodges, and here\u2019s what was helpful\u2014he helped us see that there\u2019s a difference between somebody feeling profoundly sad about something and clinical depression. It\u2019s good to try to know what you\u2019re dealing with rather than simply lumping everything into the diagnosis of depression. It may just be a profound sadness over some life circumstance or some life event that you are dealing with. He wrote a book called <em>Good Mood Bad Mood:<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Help and Hope for Depression and Bipolar Disorder<\/em>. A lot of our listeners have told us that the interviews that we did with him and his book were very helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if you\u2019d like to listen to the interviews, they are posted on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to order a copy of the book, you can also order that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Again, the title of the book is <em>Good Mood Bad Mood<\/em> by Dr. Charles Hodges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me just mention, again, something Dennis said earlier in today\u2019s program\u2014it\u2019s about the matching-gift fund that has been established for us, here at FamilyLife. December is a critical month of the year for us. So, we\u2019re hoping to hear from as many listeners as possible to help us take advantage of a $2 million matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s how it works\u2014when you make a donation in support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, your donation is matched with a donation that is double whatever you give. So, if you made a donation of $100 to FamilyLife, we would receive an additional donation worth $200. That gives us a $300 donation value, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are hoping to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity; but to do that, we need to hear from you. So, would you consider going online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014making an online donation today?\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a yearend gift; or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. And of course, all donations to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> are tax deductible. And we hope to hear from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family can worship together in church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear a powerful message from David Platt. Many of you know him as an author \/ as a pastor. He gives leadership to the International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention. He was with us, not long ago, to talk about the importance of bringing the Word of God to bear on the issues that we face in our culture every day. We\u2019ll hear from David Platt Monday, and I hope you can be here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.71M"],"filesize_raw":["24860597"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303788.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303788.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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does depression affect a marriage? Author and pastor Tommy Nelson and his wife, Teresa, talk about the debilitating depression that challenged Tommy's health and ultimately their marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-12-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In the late spring of 2006, Tommy Nelson was in pain; and he had no idea what was causing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I hadn\u2019t been in a hospital since my knee operation in 1973. So, when I said, \u201cI\u2019ve got to go to a hospital,\u201d she knew something was wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I looked at the doctor that was taking care of him; and I said: \u201cWhat is really going on?\u00a0 This is something more than allergies. This is something more than sinus infection. This is an emotional\/mental something.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s when he said: \u201cThis isn\u2019t it\u2014it\u2019s depression.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear today how Tommy Nelson made it through the dark hole of depression and found himself on the other side. Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. You know, depression can be de-habilitating. You will sometimes hear people talking about being depressed; and someone thinks, \u201cYou know they just need to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201csnap out of it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes\u2014\u201cGet over it and cheer up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You hear about people giving\u2014\u201cDo these three things,\u201d \u201cGet some exercise; and maybe, do this and do that.\u201d\u00a0 It just is not that simple. Depression can truly paralyze a person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have been listening all this week to a series of broadcasts we did a couple of years ago with Tommy and Teresa Nelson. Tommy is the pastor of Denton Bible Church in Denton, Texas. He and his wife Teresa had been married at the time for 33 years. They had never faced anything like this, as a couple, either in their marriage or in their ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, this is a compelling conversation about what they went through as we\u2019ve already heard this week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we dive back into that conversation, though, we want to remind our listeners about the special opportunity that we\u2019re facing, here at FamilyLife, during the month of December\u2014a matching-gift opportunity that, honestly, Dennis, couldn\u2019t come at a more strategic time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It couldn\u2019t. And what I want our listeners to hear: \u201cYour generosity changes lives.\u201d Listen to this letter from this guy by the name of Dean\u2014he said: \u201cThanks for all the encouraging and challenging programs on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. They brighten my day while I\u2019m working on airplanes, here in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. I appreciate all you do to spur me on and call me to be faithful, as a man, husband, and father.\u201d\u00a0 Then, he went on to add a P.S. and said he spent last February, with his 14-year-old-son, as they went through <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there is another letter, Bob\u2014I\u2019ve just got to share it with our listeners because this is why we do what we do here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a dad who\u2019s got a four-year-old \/ he describes her as a \u201cfour-year-old\u2014\u2018I\u2019m-going-to-be-five-\u2018 daughter.\u201d She\u2019s the only girl in the family. And he caught a glimpse of what a daddy\/daughter date ought to be, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I\u2019ll just read what he said here: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause of your radio program, I went ahead and invited her out on her very first special daddy\/daughter date. For nearly three-and-a-half hours, she talked non-stop over cheeseburgers, fries, and ice cream cones. All I had to do was sit there and look directly into those big blue eyes, smile and nod, and occasionally, brush back the stray curl that always seemed to escape that unruly mop of hers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur date was the first time I had deliberately treated my daughter like a little lady; and perhaps, the longest amount of time that she had ever had my undivided attention. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we got back home, she launched from the cab of my truck, wrapped her little arms tightly around my neck; and as she clung to me, unwilling to let go, she whispered, \u201cThank you, Daddy, for making me feel so special without the boys.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s got three brothers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe went on to say he had tears streaming down his face as he held onto her too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are all about helping men be men\u2014as single men, as married men, as fathers, as grandfathers. I believe there is a battle in our nation, as never before, of whether men are going to get it\u2014whether they are going to embrace their Savior and be the man God created them to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> has a history of doing here is\u2014not beating up on guys, but coming alongside them \/ putting our arm around them and showing them how they can be the man God created them to be. Your generosity makes that kind of ministry possible, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Will you stand with us, here in December?\u00a0 We need people <em>now<\/em> to say, \u201cKeep these messages coming on strong to my community, to my state, to this nation, and around the world.\u201d\u00a0 The world needs to know how Jesus Christ can make a marriage and a family work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well\u2014and here\u2019s the great opportunity that you have, as a listener\u2014when you make a donation today, that donation is going to be matched with a second donation that is double whatever you give. I mean, I wish there was a stock like this; right?\u2014where\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I thought about that\u2014seriously. [Laughter]\u00a0 If <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> was a stock, invest!\u00a0 Frankly, Barbara and I do. You and Mary Ann give. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We invest in this ministry. I mean, we\u2019re talking about sending it on ahead. The family <em>is<\/em> God\u2019s smallest battle formation for this nation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m sorry, Bob, to pick it back up again; but <em>seriously<\/em>, folks, marriages and families are in trouble. And if we don\u2019t come alongside them now, you know\u2014what are we going to leave for our children \/ our grandchildren?\u00a0 This is an urgent, vital ministry to your community, your state, and your nation. We\u2019ve got to make this work now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me explain again how this matching gift works\u2014when you make a donation, during the month of December, we\u2019ve had some friends who have agreed that they will match your donation at twice whatever you give. So, you give $100 \/ they give $200 dollars. You give $500 \/ they give $1,000. Whatever you are able to give, they are going to match it with twice as much money\u2014up to a total of $2 million. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to take full advantage of that matching gift. To do so, we need you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation. Or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY, and make a donation over the phone. And pray for us, if you would, that we\u2019ll be able to take full advantage of this matching gift between now and the end of December. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright, let me move us into the conversation we\u2019ve been listening to this week with Tommy and Teresa Nelson. They joined us a number of years ago to talk about a period in Tommy\u2019s life when he had wrestled with depression. This took him out of the pulpit. He was out of the ministry for about six months\u2014pretty much non-functional during that period. In fact, they wondered, \u201cWhat was wrong with him?\u201d\u00a0 Finally, it was a doctor, who diagnosed that he was experiencing depression; and he was treated for depression. They shared with us what it was like for them as they went on this journey, experiencing this intense depression. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to talk for a few moments just about how depression impacted your marriage; but, more importantly, talk about\u2014Teresa\u2014how you helped love Tommy out of that depression. I\u2019m not saying you\u2019re the key or <em>the<\/em> solution\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you\u2019re shaking your head no\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but I\u2019ll bet he would say you were one of them; and without you, it wouldn\u2019t have been possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did depression impact this relationship with your sidekick for 33 years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, it turned it upside down because I became the strong person, I became the safe person, I became the decision-maker. Tommy totally depended upon me\u2014almost to a stranglehold on me. By the time he was well, I mean, I really felt like, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can go on.\u201d\u00a0 He had such a stranglehold on me, as far as dependence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Like the world\u2019s biggest tick\u2014big, massive, 600-pound tick. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I don\u2019t mean that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Tommy does not weigh 600 pounds\u2014lest people take that imagery here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>But I mean totally dependent upon me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was it different than if he was convalescing after surgery for four months?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, that would have been a piece of cake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Because, mentally, he was struggling. I didn\u2019t feel like he could make\u2014well, he couldn\u2019t make decisions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I could barely drive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>He couldn\u2019t drive. I drove him; and even then, that was difficult because he wanted to be in the house. Yes, it was just total dependence upon me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And it wasn\u2019t mutuality in the sense that I gave and she gave. It was parasitic to the point of\u2014I really thought, at times, Bob\u2014I thought: \u201cWhat would happen if, all of a sudden, Teresa had a stroke?\u2014if, all of a sudden, Teresa broke her hip and had to go in and have her hip pinned?\u00a0 What would I do?!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes\u2014well\u2014and it\u2019s one thing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And you can\u2019t get loose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0It is one thing if you\u2019re helping somebody who is, again, recovering from something physical; but you had somebody who had both a physical and an emotional thing going on. How do you keep that from being personal? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you know what I mean?\u00a0 I mean, there had to be times when\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And she did keep it from getting personal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014when his attitude, when his anger, when his frustration\u2014how did you keep from feeling like, \u201cYou just need to talk nicer to me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, to be honest\u2014when it first started\u2014before they said \u201cDepression \/ Clinical Depression\u201d\u2014whatever\u2014when it first started, and it looked just like an allergy or something like that, he got so panicky\u2014not panicky\u2014I don\u2019t know what to say\u2014just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Self-contained\u2014you\u2019re so\u2014your hand is on your pulse, continually, because you are trying to figure out what\u2019s wrong with you\u2014you are self-obsessed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He was self-obsessed\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>He was trying to make himself well because he wanted to do the Romans conference and he\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He was doing a teaching series through the Book of Romans?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>He was going to do a whole conference on the weekend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>We were going to put it on video, and we were going to put Romans on video. I thought,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>So, he wanted to be well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cIf I can do this and die, I\u2019ll be happy. I\u2019ve got to get this Romans down.\u201d\u00a0 It <em>nailed<\/em> me, and I couldn\u2019t get it done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>But when it was just that\u2014where we thought it was allergies or something else\u2014he was just\u2014to the doctors: \u201cGive me this. Give me that,\u201d\u2014trying to make himself well. Well, it was just getting kind of <em>annoying<\/em> because it was just so: \u201cHelp me,\u201d \u201cHelp me,\u201d \u201cHelp me,\u201d \u201cDo this for me.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne Sunday evening, I was at prayer\u2014I went to prayer, and I left him at home. He called the church and got the guy in charge of sound to take him to Louisville, which is about 20 miles from Denton, to a doctor's office to get medication. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u2014to help me sleep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I felt like he was going <em>around<\/em> me because that\u2019s what I started feeling\u2014was he was going around me on medication \/ going around me on everything. I was beginning to be very irritated with him\u2014to be honest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I came out of prayer, one of the church secretaries was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and my daughter-in-law \/ my youngest daughter-in-law\u2014were standing outside of prayer, with this just horrific look on their face, like, \u201cOh, my gosh!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u201cTommy\u2019s gone nuts.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>\u201cSomething\u2019s wrong with Tommy.\u201d\u00a0 I felt immediate anger\u2014I really did. I felt it up to here\u2014I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to start calling you COTU\u2014the \u2018Center of the Universe.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I mean, I was really angry because I felt like he was going <em>around<\/em> me \/ he was being deceptive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here is the question I want to ask you at this point\u2014how does the Center of the Universe live out the Song of Solomon in the midst of depression?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Let\u2019s break to a commercial right here. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Tommy, quit it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, the truth must come out, my friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, he didn\u2019t <em>stay<\/em> the Center of the Universe. I mean, it was just\u2014he was trying to fix everything, and he was trying to make it right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, he went into a true clinical depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Would it be fair to say that from the middle of May\u2014maybe even before that\u2014until the middle of November, you had a romance-less marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, yes. It was a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019d say from the middle of May to, at least, October.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Teresa\u2014and I know there are a lot of folks, who are listening, who are going, \u201cI know that sounds like a long time, but I\u2019ve been at it for two years\u201d or \u201c\u2026three years\u201d or \u201c\u2026five years in a romance-less marriage.\u201d Did it cause you to begin to go: \u201cI don\u2019t know that there\u2019s hope. This may be worse until he dies or I die\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>There were a couple of times I thought\u2014helpless\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but <em>not<\/em> <em>really<\/em>. There were a couple of times I just thought\u2014I guess I thought, \u201cI hope it\u2019s not this way forever,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Forever\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>\u2014because to touch him was painful to him\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>\u2014to just rub his arm or anything like that was just painful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t wear a watch \/ I couldn\u2019t wear a wedding ring\u2014it hurt. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I mean, he had real, true pain\u2014that they had to give him medication that they give diabetics a lot of time for neuropathy to help their arm and leg pain \/ they gave him that for a while. But yes\u2014it was not odd\u2014it was like, \u201cThis is not just my duty, but I love this man.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is your assignment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Yes: \u201cBut this is what has been dealt to you right now.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m listening to you\u2014and I know Bob is thinking the same thing\u2014what a courageous love. It is one thing to love when you\u2019re being loved in return; but it\u2019s another thing to keep on loving and stepping into adversity, and caring, and sacrificing, and loving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve not allowed Tommy to speak much on this broadcast, and I\u2019m still not going to let him talk. [Laughter] Instead, I\u2019m going to ask Keith to play a little something for you, Teresa. You\u2019ve probably heard this,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy:<\/strong> Oh, no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but I want you to hear what he said before this happened because there have really been a lot of holy moments on the broadcast. This was really a pretty sacred moment, as we turned to your husband and asked him to just kind of give you a verbal love letter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We were asking him to model for the rest of the audience: \u201cHow do you write a love letter?\u00a0 How do you express romance to your wife?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And this was impromptu\u2014it\u2019s not like you told me, two weeks previous: \u201cNow, listen, we\u2019re going to do Valentine\u2019s. So, be ready.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When you\u2019ve been in gear, like you have on the Song of Solomon for so many years, you don\u2019t need warning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No, you don\u2019t need a warm-up\u2014we just bring you in out of the bullpen and say, \u201cStart throwing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>And I said, \u201cThis will be cake\u2014no problem.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cNo problem.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Mr. Stoic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for my two faithful boys who are faithful because of the continual model and devotion of their mother. Thank you for the freedom I have in ministry\u2014not to be taken out because my wife\u2014I\u2019m choking up \/ this is hard to do. Thank you that I can minister and never worry about being canceled out because you are so faithful. No matter whatever happens to me in life, it will be because of you. I love you. Tommy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>I drove you to depression?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhatever happens\u2026\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>What a man of God!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, now, here is the rest of the assignment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, I knew this was going to happen as sure as I came here. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That was then;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014this is now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. It ain\u2019t Valentine\u2019s, though, you know, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, but you\u2019ve got to make up for a six-month drought, Tommy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. That\u2019s right. Am I to sign-off this time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just\u2014yes\u2014I mean, I\u2019ve got to think that what you can express today is deeper and richer than what you could express\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and it was pretty good back then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes. Give me your finger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Yes, you\u2019ve got to touch my finger right here. I would say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTJ \/ Teresa Jo, \u201c\u2026where sin increases, grace abounds...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Romans 5:20]\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe way we know of God\u2019s love is through struggle and pain\u2014we find the depth of who He is. That\u2019s what I\u2019ve found in you\u2014that you said, \u201c\u2026til death do us part,\u201d and you said, \u201c\u2026for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer\u2026\u201d I had about a year of just the poorer and the worst, and my strength through all of it was you. You never moved\/ you never faltered\u2014you never stopped loving me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou told me things that I didn\u2019t want to hear. You took me to the Word. You let me follow you around, buying at Kroger\u2019s, just like your idiot accomplice\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and you <em>never<\/em> \/ you never faltered\u2014that you always loved me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd when I doubted my health and I even doubted, at times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cGod, like David, You take <em>no<\/em> <em>pleasure<\/em> in me anymore,\u201d\u2014but one thing I never doubted was you. So, <em>thank<\/em> <em>you<\/em> for sounding the depths of your love. And now, I have more to love, more to praise you for, and a greater sermon for a greater day. Thank you, Baby. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Teresa: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You guys have been so gracious to allow us to peer into a tough spot; and yet, you all know\u2014because you\u2019ve talked to people\u2014you are comforting others with the comfort with which you have been comforted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know, we all go through these times. We all look like we\u2019ve got it together\u2014you\u2019ve got your nice shirt, and I\u2019ve got mine. We\u2019re all dressed like everything is wired, and life is great, and all is well; but scratch it underneath the surface an inch, and there\u2019s pain in every life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just appreciate both of you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>You bet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014coming and being real. And I think mostly, though, out of it, pointing people back to the King and the sovereign God\u2014and, like Job, you know, in the last chapter, when he said, \u201cI used to say I knew You; but now, I\u2019ve seen You.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>I read that paragraph 60,000 times\u2014that you\u2019re talking about\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve heard of You with the hearing of an ear; but now, I see You.\u201d\u00a0 That there was a depth that Job went to in that\u2014that transcended everything he had ever been to. I went through that <em>so<\/em> <em>many<\/em> <em>times<\/em>\u2014I never tried to memorize the text, but it\u2019s on my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you a better man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Oh, yes\u2014well, a long way to go\u2014but I\u2019ll tell you what, Bob, it will give you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014every pastor needs to go through some kind of gut-check like this because it will take away your bionic image, and it will make you compassionate. I mean, when you see people that are going through struggles, even if it\u2019s not depression\u2014no matter what kind of pain they\u2019re going through\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>\u2014it will make you very sensitive to help those people because you know what it was to be there when there was no way out \/ when there was no light at the end of that tunnel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We had an opportunity, not long ago, to sit down with a physician, Dr. Charles Hodges, and here\u2019s what was helpful\u2014he helped us see that there\u2019s a difference between somebody feeling profoundly sad about something and clinical depression. It\u2019s good to try to know what you\u2019re dealing with rather than simply lumping everything into the diagnosis of depression. It may just be a profound sadness over some life circumstance or some life event that you are dealing with. He wrote a book called <em>Good Mood Bad Mood:<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Help and Hope for Depression and Bipolar Disorder<\/em>. A lot of our listeners have told us that the interviews that we did with him and his book were very helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if you\u2019d like to listen to the interviews, they are posted on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019d like to order a copy of the book, you can also order that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Again, the title of the book is <em>Good Mood Bad Mood<\/em> by Dr. Charles Hodges. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me just mention, again, something Dennis said earlier in today\u2019s program\u2014it\u2019s about the matching-gift fund that has been established for us, here at FamilyLife. December is a critical month of the year for us. So, we\u2019re hoping to hear from as many listeners as possible to help us take advantage of a $2 million matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s how it works\u2014when you make a donation in support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, your donation is matched with a donation that is double whatever you give. So, if you made a donation of $100 to FamilyLife, we would receive an additional donation worth $200. That gives us a $300 donation value, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are hoping to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity; but to do that, we need to hear from you. So, would you consider going online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014making an online donation today?\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a yearend gift; or you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. And of course, all donations to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> are tax deductible. And we hope to hear from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family can worship together in church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to hear a powerful message from David Platt. Many of you know him as an author \/ as a pastor. He gives leadership to the International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention. He was with us, not long ago, to talk about the importance of bringing the Word of God to bear on the issues that we face in our culture every day. We\u2019ll hear from David Platt Monday, and I hope you can be here for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303788","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303788"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303788"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303788"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303788"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303788"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303788"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303788"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}