{"id":303748,"date":"2015-11-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-11-20T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-is-a-mentor\/"},"modified":"2015-11-20T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-11-20T17:00:00","slug":"what-is-a-mentor","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-a-mentor\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is a Mentor?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Who are you pouring into? Authors and professors Barbara Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards describe what organic mentoring is: a natural, less contrived relationship where one woman listens, encourages, and builds up the other. Neumann and Edwards remind mentors that young women don&#8217;t really want &#8220;the Bible answer woman,&#8221; but rather a trusted friend who will share her own life stories.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barbara Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards describe what organic mentoring is: a natural, less contrived relationship where one woman listens, encourages, and builds up the other.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-20.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.16M","filesize_raw":"24289411","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821,2093],"tags":[4445,4446,4444,4443],"podcast_series":[7229],"cwp_profile":[8841,8840],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303748","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","category-women","tag-not-a-program","tag-organic","tag-relational","tag-titus-2-principles","podcast_series-organic-mentoring","cwp_profile-barbara-neumann","cwp_profile-sue-edwards","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303748\/what-is-a-mentor","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303748\/what-is-a-mentor","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OSPHNwFVa4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-a-mentor\/\">What Is a Mentor?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-a-mentor\/embed\/#?secret=OSPHNwFVa4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What Is a Mentor?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"OSPHNwFVa4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-20.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-20.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We often think that mentoring is like formal training\u2014like teaching a subject to someone younger than you. Barbara Neumann says, \u201cThat\u2019s not what younger women today are looking for when they are looking for an older woman to mentor them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>They want to hear stories from our life. They want to know: \u201cHow did your faith work for you in this difficult situation?\u201d and \u201cI want to hear what you did on that day when you wanted to walk out on your marriage,\u201d \u201cI want to hear about that time where you felt like you just couldn\u2019t deal with your kids another minute longer.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s these life-giving stories\u2014real stories\u2014where they soak up biblical truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Your life is full of examples\u2014both good and bad\u2014of what it means to follow Christ. As you\u2019ll open up and share those examples with younger people, that\u2019s what authentic mentoring looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll explore that more today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I had a friend of mine who\u2014I think he had this written on a notebook that he used to carry with him\u2014but I saw it, and I tweeted it out because I thought it was profound. He said, \u201cYou are or you will be a composite of the five people you spend the most time with.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s a pretty interesting insight.\u201d\u00a0 Who we become, as people, is a composite of who have been the five most influential people in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I heard someone say, \u201cThe people you know and the books you read are those influencers in our lives.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd people are the living books who impact our lives. <br><br>And we have a couple of Dallas Theological Seminary professors with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A couple of living books who are joining us. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Living books who teach the Book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>We do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014at Dallas Theological Seminary. Dr. Sue Edwards and Dr. Barbara Neumann join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Barbara, Sue, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. You know, the word, organic, just kind of brings a grin to my face because I have four daughters\u2014so, I can tell this anonymously. One of our daughters was dated by a guy who defined his relationship with my daughter\u2014he said, \u201cI just want us to have an <em>organic<\/em> relationship.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s not surprising. And you went, \u201cWhat is that?!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I did. I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cNo pesticides used.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No pesticides. And so, I kind of began to watch this thing evolve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBasically, what he was wanting was something without purpose\u2014something that just kind of meandered along and didn\u2019t want to have any direction to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, at some level, it sounds like what he wanted\u2014and I\u2019m not trying to put words in his mouth\u2014but you ladies have described what younger women often want today is something that is a little borderless \/ a little boundary-less. It\u2019s: \u201cI want access to this when I want it or need it, but I don\u2019t want to be bothered with it any other time.\u201d\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s okay in a mentor\/mentee relationship. It\u2019s maybe less okay in a dating\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014potential marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, at some point, you\u2019ve got to be\u2014you\u2019ve got to determine your intentions here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You all aren\u2019t saying that there can\u2019t be some intentionality in the mentoring relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely\u2014absolutely not. When they use the word, organic, what they are indicating is that they want something that is more <em>natural<\/em>\u2014something that fits into life more naturally\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014instead of something that is contrived. But you know, the whole organic movement started with food; but now, it\u2019s a lifestyle with many in this younger generation. It\u2019s the way they live. It\u2019s the\u2014it forms a lot of their preferences. So, yes\u2014even, maybe, extending into a dating relationship\u2014but we don\u2019t think that organic means without any kind of foundational structure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had a friend, who approached you awhile back and said: \u201cThere\u2019s a young woman I know who is struggling. Would you mind meeting with the two of us?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, it was kind of a three-way get-together for coffee. Tell us what happened in that situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>We had the highest hopes\u2014I knew how to help this young woman, who was struggling; and the third party that had invited us to meet knew that. So, she was <em>absolutely<\/em> sure that this was a partnership that would work well and that it was needed. So, yes, I agreed to meet. We had a great conversation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe young woman, who needed help, indicated that she would definitely get back in touch with me; but I never heard from her again. That didn\u2019t surprise me because I didn\u2019t know her; and mostly, she didn\u2019t know me\u2014the trust was not there. It was a pleasant conversation; but because\u2014again, it was a <em>contrived<\/em> relationship\u2014it didn\u2019t go anywhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, sometimes, these attempts to see if there is something there\u2014it\u2019s one cup of coffee; and then, nothing happens after that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Nothing may happen, and that is fine! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s part of the process of determining where the Holy Spirit is at work\u2014who He has for you in this natural opportunity. It\u2019s going to be all part of the process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting\u2014I was talking recently with an almond farmer in California. This guy has an almond grove about 60 acres. He grows almonds for a living. I said, \u201cAre your almond trees organic?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd he kind of smiled and said, \u201cOrganic is a big word.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWe use a minimum amount of pesticides.\u201d\u00a0 He explained that with the almond, the nut is so protected from the hull that the nut almost never gets any pesticide approaching it. But he said, \u201cWith organic farms, the yield is so much lower than it is with the cultivated farm.\u201d\u00a0 He said that the reason organic products cost so much more is because the yield is so much lower per acre. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When you talk about organic mentoring, it may be a lower yield; but it may be a higher quality kind of yield that you are getting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s a lower yield. I think it\u2019s something that young women and men\u2014the younger generation\u2014it\u2019s moved into their relationships. It doesn\u2019t mean they are without intentionality. It just means that there is a natural flow to it\u2014the same thing with a spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, you hear all these different people\u2014when you are young and you are looking for a life partner, and suddenly, there is this click. Sometimes, you can\u2019t even explain it\u2014it just is <em>there<\/em>. When that click is there, then, there is a natural likelihood that that relationship can blossom and thrive if it\u2019s based on the right things. It\u2019s the same thing with this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It may feel like a lower yield, though, because organic mentoring is harder to measure. <br><br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>When we had our structured programs, we could count\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. <br><br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>\u2014the number of women involved, we could look at the curriculum that was covered, and we felt like we could measure, \u201cOkay, this is what we\u2019ve accomplished.\u201d\u00a0 But with organic mentoring, that\u2019s not possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You can\u2019t measure what\u2019s happening in the younger person\u2019s life; but we know by talking to these women that every conversation is transformational. That\u2019s what they tell us: \u201cEvery time I talk to her\u2026\u201d or \u201cEvery time I talk to him, I learn something very important.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>About a dozen years ago, I was invited by a friend, Crawford Loritts, who had a burden for connecting an older generation of men with a bunch of younger guys. He established a mentoring relationship with four young men for me which, now, some 12 years later, continues on for two of the four. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, yes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This was more programmatic\u2014what Crawford was doing it. It\u2019s back to the old model. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, it was programmatic in how it kicked off\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because it formed a retreat where a bunch of guys got together. Some of the clicking that you ladies have talked about, where there\u2019s chemistry and kindred-spirit heard there\u2014and that became kind of how they allocated: \u201cThese four guys go with him. These four guys go with this other man.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it\u2019s interesting, now\u2014back to your point of measurement, Barbara\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s not always clear what kind of impact that\u2019s having; but it is having an impact, or these guys wouldn\u2019t continue to be meeting with me by phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. Yes\u2014exactly. We can measure our impact by the fact that this young person continues to invite us to be a part of their life \/ continues to engage in those conversations\u2014however random that may feel\u2014but it\u2019s a continued impact. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I recently asked a young man because he\u2019s kind of nibbling around the edges\u2014he\u2019s been writing me, and phoning me, and saying some things to me, asking questions about different matters at home, and at work, et cetera. Finally, I just put an email together and said, \u201cHey, how about you and I get together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201conce a month for a year? At the end of the year, we\u2019ll evaluate and we\u2019ll decide if we continue on\u2014how about that?\u201d\u00a0 So, I still haven\u2019t heard from him. He may decide not to do it\u2014that is okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really is okay, but it seemed like there was a mutual benefit that could occur in that relationship. I say, \u201cmutual,\u201d because the person who is doing the mentoring <em>always<\/em> benefits. He always \/ she always benefits; right?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, and that\u2019s one thing they are saying is\u2014that they even identify it as a reverse mentoring\u2014that even though they are younger and not as far along in some areas of their life, they expect that you, as a mentor, will benefit as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think Barbara and I would both say that we have gained\u2014I understand my daughters, I understand the younger generation, I understand a lot more about technology. If I have something that I need to know, as all of this crazy technology comes upon us and a tidal wave of: \u201cOh my goodness!\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve got to figure this out!\u201d\u2014I have women that can help me with that. And they love it, and they expect it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2014it\u2019s much more of a sense of mutuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt used to be that the spotlight was on the mentor. It was all about sitting at the mentor\u2019s feet, and you giving out all of your wisdom, and they soaking it up. And that picture\u2014to them, puts them off. They are much more about mutuality. They feel like they have something to give in this, and I\u2019ve found they really do. It takes the pressure\u2014I don\u2019t have to feel like this tower of wisdom that: \u201cIf I somehow\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cam not everything to everybody, and I actually\u2026\u201d\u2014they don\u2019t like that. If I tried to be the Bible-answer woman, they head for the exit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>They do. What they want to hear from us is not the Bible answer that we might want to give them, but they want to hear stories from our life. They want to know: \u201cHow did your faith work for you in this difficult situation?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand \u201cI want to hear what you did on that day when you wanted to walk out on your marriage,\u201d \u201cI want to hear about that time where you felt like you just couldn\u2019t deal with your kids another minute longer.\u201d It\u2019s these life-giving stories \/ real stories where they soak up biblical truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And you can say\u2014you can refer to the Scripture\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Of course; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014but they want to know: \u201cHow does it work?\u201d \u201cHow does it look?\u201d \u201cHow did it actually play out?\u201d\u00a0 If you say, \u201cI have peace because of the Holy Spirit,\u201d they want to say: \u201cWell, when did that happen?\u201d and \u201cHow does that look in your life?\u201d and \u201cGive me an example.\u201d\u00a0 So, they want to know how life works. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We are talking today to Sue Edwards and Barbara Neumann, authors of the book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. And you ladies have been around Dallas Seminary long enough to know that the best professors at a seminary\u2014there is a little mentoring going on, not just in the classroom, but outside the classroom as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In fact, Dennis would identify one of the primary mentors in his life having been somebody whose classes he has sat in, back in the early \u201870s. And I\u2019m guessing you could pick which professor that was; couldn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>It was probably\u2014he was a mentor to me too\u2014Howard Hendricks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But it continued beyond the classroom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It may have started there from kind of a getting-to-know-you standpoint; but he showed personal interest in me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, he brought a lot of life just by believing in me and encouraging me along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I want you ladies to comment on here because I think a lot of women today\u2014and men\u2014don\u2019t see themselves as mentors because they don\u2019t think they are smart enough. I mean, Howard Hendricks\u2014okay, you can understand why he would be a mentor. He taught for 60 years \/ had 13,000 students in his classes. I mean\u2014okay, he\u2019s a mentor\u2014but the person, who is listening to this broadcast, and driving a truck or on her way to school, taking the kids to drop them off: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do they know if they have something they can pass on to a younger generation?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, I think this is our biggest obstacle today in the whole mentoring culture; and that is our older women, overwhelmingly, do not feel qualified. As a result, they will <em>not<\/em> respond to the natural opportunities that are popping up with the women around them. So, this is what we need to address. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, Dennis, helping our older women to understand that\u2014if you are following Christ and you\u2019ve been doing that for a little while, then, you know some things. You have worked out some things. You have found the Bible to be true in your life in a number of different ways, and this is what our younger women are absolutely hungry to hear. They want to hear about your life, your life with God, how the Bible has worked for you. Any woman can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But here is part of the reason that feels intimidating\u2014is because you know, at some point, you are going to be sitting across the table from a younger woman, who is going to say, \u201cI\u2019m struggling with this in my life,\u201d and you\u2019re going to think: \u201cI have no clue how to help you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI don\u2019t know what to say to that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>You know, I think that\u2019s alright\u2014you can learn this together. You can kick this around. You don\u2019t have to have the answers. In fact, if you always come across with the answers, they feel that you\u2019re not honest. They actually respond \/ almost <em>demand<\/em> that you be real with them. Authenticity is <em>huge<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of them come from broken homes today. We are looking at a generation where words don\u2019t mean that much \/ promises don\u2019t mean that much. It\u2019s going to take some time with some of these women to trust you. You don\u2019t just say, \u201cWell, I\u2019m still a sinner,\u201d but then, you will never will say how; or \u201cYou know, many years ago, when I was <em>your<\/em> age, I messed up here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>They are going: \u201cWhat?!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u201cAren\u2019t you still a real person?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and I\u2019ve got to stop you there and ask Barbara this question because you scooted by a statement. I thought, \u201cWas that something that you thought about doing?\u201d\u00a0 You scooted by a statement, where you said, \u201cYes, they want to know when you almost walked out on your marriage.\u201d\u00a0 Was that true of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It was true of me\u2014very definitely. I came to that point where I thought: \u201cThis is <em>not<\/em> what I thought it was going to be. I can\u2019t do this anymore. I don\u2019t know what to do!\u00a0 I feel trapped.\u201d\u00a0 But I did sit down\u2014it was on my front porch. I went outside, and I sat down. I thought, \u201cHow do I get out of this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How many years had you been married?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, probably about ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Had some kids?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, we had three kids\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, there was a lot at stake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>There was a lot at stake. That\u2019s why I knew that I had a <em>huge<\/em> dilemma on my hands. Being a believer, I knew that I couldn\u2019t walk away from my marriage without problems before God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew that, but I also didn\u2019t know how to stay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what happened on the steps, as you sat there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. I cried. [Laughter]\u00a0 I prayed. I pleaded for help. I decided that for the sake of my children \/ for the sake of my faith that I couldn\u2019t walk away. I had to go back in, and I had to figure out a way to make this work. I did \/ my husband did, but it was a process. You know, we had some dysfunctional things going on in our marriage that we needed to work on. So, yes, there were some dark days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m so glad you ladies brought this up because I mentioned on an earlier broadcast that FamilyLife started an e-mentoring guide to both equip folks who want to be a mentor\u2014some training to walk them through to give them confidence because the confidence issue is the number-one obstacle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but also a place for those who wanted to sign up to be mentored to do that. And we\u2019ve got 3,000 people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014this year that will be touched by this ministry\u2014some for a lot of hours \/ some for, perhaps, just a few hours. But I asked Gary Blunier, who heads this up, here at FamilyLife\u2014I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the number-one issue?\u201d This was fascinating what he said\u2014he said, \u201cThe number-one issue is\u2014 you have got a generation of young people coming out of broken homes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cwho have never seen it modeled.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, that is true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they are coming to our website\u2014they are coming in search of a mentor because they are saying, \u201cWe want to make it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWe don\u2019t want to walk out. We don\u2019t want to quit because we bore the pain of those who did. Help us figure this out. Coach us. Encourage us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut to your point, Barbara, they\u2019re going to demand that we be authentic, and take them into the interior of our lives, and let them know when we struggled, where we blew it, where we weren\u2019t doing what we were supposed to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s your most powerful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. It is. You know, I think, Dennis, that when we tell stories that are authentic like this, we normalize the difficulty and pain of human life and human experience. We, also, give hope, \u201cIf you made it through that tough time, I can too.\u201d\u00a0 And it\u2019s these real stories from our life that do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>And not just in the past\u2014but you know, sometimes, we struggle today. And I think it helps them to even know that we\u2019re still making it, even though we don\u2019t have all the answers. That gives them hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, could I have my soapbox back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Absolutely. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>I\u2019ll stand on the side and just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Thank you, Sue. It\u2019s been wrestled away by some very good people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>These women want to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they want to plant an orchard \/ an organic orchard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>We do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what I want to say to the listener, though: \u201cThis is not a side issue.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We can grouse and gripe about politics, and what\u2019s happening in our country, and the moral decay and moral decline; and you know what?\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t fix a thing. All it does is, I think, just kind of sour all of us; but instead, why not be a part of the orchard\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and decide to plant where you are, and grow some fruit in the lives of some young women\/young men and begin to mentor them and disciple them in the Book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if they are looking for a great way to do that, this book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>, is really an excellent guide. It\u2019s not going to solve every problem you are going to face; but we\u2019ve just said\u2014it\u2019s okay that you don\u2019t have the answers. That\u2019s a part of mentoring\u2014knowing you do not have the answers but knowing where to go to get them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website. Check it out!\u00a0 Over 8 million last year\u20148 million unique people came to our website, looking for help and hope, biblically, around issues they\u2019re facing. A mentor can do that and guide a young person through some thorny issues in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd ladies, I just want to say, \u201cThanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and thanks for your ministry at Dallas Theological Seminary as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, thanks for inviting us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>We have benefited much. Thank you <em>so<\/em> <em>much<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And when you are ready to start planting some seeds and doing some organic mentoring, we\u2019ve got the gardening book for you right here. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob will come to your home, and he will help you plant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Till the soil\u2014[Laughter]\u2014absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He will help you plant the orchard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Thank you for offering that on my behalf. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t have a whole lot going on in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you can order a copy of the book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Or again, find us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think about the assignment that God has given us, as a ministry, here at FamilyLife. Our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. And that\u2019s really a mentoring goal. It really ties in with what we\u2019ve been talking about. And I\u2019ve heard you say a lot of times, Dennis: \u201cThis is not something that an organization like FamilyLife can do. This is something that we\u2019ve all got to be a part of.\u201d\u00a0 We need listeners joining with us in this mission. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways listeners join us in the mission of FamilyLife is by helping to cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. We\u2019re grateful for our Legacy Partners, who contribute each month to help make that happen; and we\u2019re grateful for those of you, who will occasionally stop by and either make an online donation, or call to make a donation, or mail your donation to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour support is what makes <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible, and we are very grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, we\u2019d like to express our gratitude for your support of this ministry. If you make a donation today, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>\u2014seven stories you can read aloud to the kids as a way to help build a culture of gratefulness in your family and in your home. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI care.\u201d You can make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church. And I hope you can join us back on Monday. Do you know the name Ginny Owens?\u00a0 Ginny is a singer \/ songwriter, and she has been blind since she was a child. She\u2019s going to stop by with her keyboard and share her story and share some music with us as well. So, I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.16M"],"filesize_raw":["24289411"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303748.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303748.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards describe what organic mentoring is: a natural, less contrived relationship where one woman listens, encourages, and builds up the other.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We often think that mentoring is like formal training\u2014like teaching a subject to someone younger than you. Barbara Neumann says, \u201cThat\u2019s not what younger women today are looking for when they are looking for an older woman to mentor them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>They want to hear stories from our life. They want to know: \u201cHow did your faith work for you in this difficult situation?\u201d and \u201cI want to hear what you did on that day when you wanted to walk out on your marriage,\u201d \u201cI want to hear about that time where you felt like you just couldn\u2019t deal with your kids another minute longer.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s these life-giving stories\u2014real stories\u2014where they soak up biblical truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Your life is full of examples\u2014both good and bad\u2014of what it means to follow Christ. As you\u2019ll open up and share those examples with younger people, that\u2019s what authentic mentoring looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll explore that more today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I had a friend of mine who\u2014I think he had this written on a notebook that he used to carry with him\u2014but I saw it, and I tweeted it out because I thought it was profound. He said, \u201cYou are or you will be a composite of the five people you spend the most time with.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s a pretty interesting insight.\u201d\u00a0 Who we become, as people, is a composite of who have been the five most influential people in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I heard someone say, \u201cThe people you know and the books you read are those influencers in our lives.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd people are the living books who impact our lives. <br><br>And we have a couple of Dallas Theological Seminary professors with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A couple of living books who are joining us. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Living books who teach the Book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>We do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014at Dallas Theological Seminary. Dr. Sue Edwards and Dr. Barbara Neumann join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Barbara, Sue, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. You know, the word, organic, just kind of brings a grin to my face because I have four daughters\u2014so, I can tell this anonymously. One of our daughters was dated by a guy who defined his relationship with my daughter\u2014he said, \u201cI just want us to have an <em>organic<\/em> relationship.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s not surprising. And you went, \u201cWhat is that?!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I did. I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cNo pesticides used.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No pesticides. And so, I kind of began to watch this thing evolve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBasically, what he was wanting was something without purpose\u2014something that just kind of meandered along and didn\u2019t want to have any direction to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, at some level, it sounds like what he wanted\u2014and I\u2019m not trying to put words in his mouth\u2014but you ladies have described what younger women often want today is something that is a little borderless \/ a little boundary-less. It\u2019s: \u201cI want access to this when I want it or need it, but I don\u2019t want to be bothered with it any other time.\u201d\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s okay in a mentor\/mentee relationship. It\u2019s maybe less okay in a dating\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014potential marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, at some point, you\u2019ve got to be\u2014you\u2019ve got to determine your intentions here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You all aren\u2019t saying that there can\u2019t be some intentionality in the mentoring relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely\u2014absolutely not. When they use the word, organic, what they are indicating is that they want something that is more <em>natural<\/em>\u2014something that fits into life more naturally\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014instead of something that is contrived. But you know, the whole organic movement started with food; but now, it\u2019s a lifestyle with many in this younger generation. It\u2019s the way they live. It\u2019s the\u2014it forms a lot of their preferences. So, yes\u2014even, maybe, extending into a dating relationship\u2014but we don\u2019t think that organic means without any kind of foundational structure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had a friend, who approached you awhile back and said: \u201cThere\u2019s a young woman I know who is struggling. Would you mind meeting with the two of us?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, it was kind of a three-way get-together for coffee. Tell us what happened in that situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>We had the highest hopes\u2014I knew how to help this young woman, who was struggling; and the third party that had invited us to meet knew that. So, she was <em>absolutely<\/em> sure that this was a partnership that would work well and that it was needed. So, yes, I agreed to meet. We had a great conversation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe young woman, who needed help, indicated that she would definitely get back in touch with me; but I never heard from her again. That didn\u2019t surprise me because I didn\u2019t know her; and mostly, she didn\u2019t know me\u2014the trust was not there. It was a pleasant conversation; but because\u2014again, it was a <em>contrived<\/em> relationship\u2014it didn\u2019t go anywhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, sometimes, these attempts to see if there is something there\u2014it\u2019s one cup of coffee; and then, nothing happens after that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Nothing may happen, and that is fine! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s part of the process of determining where the Holy Spirit is at work\u2014who He has for you in this natural opportunity. It\u2019s going to be all part of the process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting\u2014I was talking recently with an almond farmer in California. This guy has an almond grove about 60 acres. He grows almonds for a living. I said, \u201cAre your almond trees organic?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd he kind of smiled and said, \u201cOrganic is a big word.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWe use a minimum amount of pesticides.\u201d\u00a0 He explained that with the almond, the nut is so protected from the hull that the nut almost never gets any pesticide approaching it. But he said, \u201cWith organic farms, the yield is so much lower than it is with the cultivated farm.\u201d\u00a0 He said that the reason organic products cost so much more is because the yield is so much lower per acre. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When you talk about organic mentoring, it may be a lower yield; but it may be a higher quality kind of yield that you are getting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s a lower yield. I think it\u2019s something that young women and men\u2014the younger generation\u2014it\u2019s moved into their relationships. It doesn\u2019t mean they are without intentionality. It just means that there is a natural flow to it\u2014the same thing with a spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, you hear all these different people\u2014when you are young and you are looking for a life partner, and suddenly, there is this click. Sometimes, you can\u2019t even explain it\u2014it just is <em>there<\/em>. When that click is there, then, there is a natural likelihood that that relationship can blossom and thrive if it\u2019s based on the right things. It\u2019s the same thing with this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It may feel like a lower yield, though, because organic mentoring is harder to measure. <br><br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>When we had our structured programs, we could count\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. <br><br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>\u2014the number of women involved, we could look at the curriculum that was covered, and we felt like we could measure, \u201cOkay, this is what we\u2019ve accomplished.\u201d\u00a0 But with organic mentoring, that\u2019s not possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>You can\u2019t measure what\u2019s happening in the younger person\u2019s life; but we know by talking to these women that every conversation is transformational. That\u2019s what they tell us: \u201cEvery time I talk to her\u2026\u201d or \u201cEvery time I talk to him, I learn something very important.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. <br><br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>About a dozen years ago, I was invited by a friend, Crawford Loritts, who had a burden for connecting an older generation of men with a bunch of younger guys. He established a mentoring relationship with four young men for me which, now, some 12 years later, continues on for two of the four. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, yes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This was more programmatic\u2014what Crawford was doing it. It\u2019s back to the old model. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, it was programmatic in how it kicked off\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because it formed a retreat where a bunch of guys got together. Some of the clicking that you ladies have talked about, where there\u2019s chemistry and kindred-spirit heard there\u2014and that became kind of how they allocated: \u201cThese four guys go with him. These four guys go with this other man.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it\u2019s interesting, now\u2014back to your point of measurement, Barbara\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s not always clear what kind of impact that\u2019s having; but it is having an impact, or these guys wouldn\u2019t continue to be meeting with me by phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Exactly. Yes\u2014exactly. We can measure our impact by the fact that this young person continues to invite us to be a part of their life \/ continues to engage in those conversations\u2014however random that may feel\u2014but it\u2019s a continued impact. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I recently asked a young man because he\u2019s kind of nibbling around the edges\u2014he\u2019s been writing me, and phoning me, and saying some things to me, asking questions about different matters at home, and at work, et cetera. Finally, I just put an email together and said, \u201cHey, how about you and I get together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201conce a month for a year? At the end of the year, we\u2019ll evaluate and we\u2019ll decide if we continue on\u2014how about that?\u201d\u00a0 So, I still haven\u2019t heard from him. He may decide not to do it\u2014that is okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really is okay, but it seemed like there was a mutual benefit that could occur in that relationship. I say, \u201cmutual,\u201d because the person who is doing the mentoring <em>always<\/em> benefits. He always \/ she always benefits; right?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, and that\u2019s one thing they are saying is\u2014that they even identify it as a reverse mentoring\u2014that even though they are younger and not as far along in some areas of their life, they expect that you, as a mentor, will benefit as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think Barbara and I would both say that we have gained\u2014I understand my daughters, I understand the younger generation, I understand a lot more about technology. If I have something that I need to know, as all of this crazy technology comes upon us and a tidal wave of: \u201cOh my goodness!\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve got to figure this out!\u201d\u2014I have women that can help me with that. And they love it, and they expect it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2014it\u2019s much more of a sense of mutuality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt used to be that the spotlight was on the mentor. It was all about sitting at the mentor\u2019s feet, and you giving out all of your wisdom, and they soaking it up. And that picture\u2014to them, puts them off. They are much more about mutuality. They feel like they have something to give in this, and I\u2019ve found they really do. It takes the pressure\u2014I don\u2019t have to feel like this tower of wisdom that: \u201cIf I somehow\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cam not everything to everybody, and I actually\u2026\u201d\u2014they don\u2019t like that. If I tried to be the Bible-answer woman, they head for the exit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>They do. What they want to hear from us is not the Bible answer that we might want to give them, but they want to hear stories from our life. They want to know: \u201cHow did your faith work for you in this difficult situation?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand \u201cI want to hear what you did on that day when you wanted to walk out on your marriage,\u201d \u201cI want to hear about that time where you felt like you just couldn\u2019t deal with your kids another minute longer.\u201d It\u2019s these life-giving stories \/ real stories where they soak up biblical truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And you can say\u2014you can refer to the Scripture\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Of course; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014but they want to know: \u201cHow does it work?\u201d \u201cHow does it look?\u201d \u201cHow did it actually play out?\u201d\u00a0 If you say, \u201cI have peace because of the Holy Spirit,\u201d they want to say: \u201cWell, when did that happen?\u201d and \u201cHow does that look in your life?\u201d and \u201cGive me an example.\u201d\u00a0 So, they want to know how life works. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We are talking today to Sue Edwards and Barbara Neumann, authors of the book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. And you ladies have been around Dallas Seminary long enough to know that the best professors at a seminary\u2014there is a little mentoring going on, not just in the classroom, but outside the classroom as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In fact, Dennis would identify one of the primary mentors in his life having been somebody whose classes he has sat in, back in the early \u201870s. And I\u2019m guessing you could pick which professor that was; couldn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>It was probably\u2014he was a mentor to me too\u2014Howard Hendricks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But it continued beyond the classroom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It may have started there from kind of a getting-to-know-you standpoint; but he showed personal interest in me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, he brought a lot of life just by believing in me and encouraging me along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I want you ladies to comment on here because I think a lot of women today\u2014and men\u2014don\u2019t see themselves as mentors because they don\u2019t think they are smart enough. I mean, Howard Hendricks\u2014okay, you can understand why he would be a mentor. He taught for 60 years \/ had 13,000 students in his classes. I mean\u2014okay, he\u2019s a mentor\u2014but the person, who is listening to this broadcast, and driving a truck or on her way to school, taking the kids to drop them off: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do they know if they have something they can pass on to a younger generation?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, I think this is our biggest obstacle today in the whole mentoring culture; and that is our older women, overwhelmingly, do not feel qualified. As a result, they will <em>not<\/em> respond to the natural opportunities that are popping up with the women around them. So, this is what we need to address. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, Dennis, helping our older women to understand that\u2014if you are following Christ and you\u2019ve been doing that for a little while, then, you know some things. You have worked out some things. You have found the Bible to be true in your life in a number of different ways, and this is what our younger women are absolutely hungry to hear. They want to hear about your life, your life with God, how the Bible has worked for you. Any woman can do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But here is part of the reason that feels intimidating\u2014is because you know, at some point, you are going to be sitting across the table from a younger woman, who is going to say, \u201cI\u2019m struggling with this in my life,\u201d and you\u2019re going to think: \u201cI have no clue how to help you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI don\u2019t know what to say to that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>You know, I think that\u2019s alright\u2014you can learn this together. You can kick this around. You don\u2019t have to have the answers. In fact, if you always come across with the answers, they feel that you\u2019re not honest. They actually respond \/ almost <em>demand<\/em> that you be real with them. Authenticity is <em>huge<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of them come from broken homes today. We are looking at a generation where words don\u2019t mean that much \/ promises don\u2019t mean that much. It\u2019s going to take some time with some of these women to trust you. You don\u2019t just say, \u201cWell, I\u2019m still a sinner,\u201d but then, you will never will say how; or \u201cYou know, many years ago, when I was <em>your<\/em> age, I messed up here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>They are going: \u201cWhat?!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u201cAren\u2019t you still a real person?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and I\u2019ve got to stop you there and ask Barbara this question because you scooted by a statement. I thought, \u201cWas that something that you thought about doing?\u201d\u00a0 You scooted by a statement, where you said, \u201cYes, they want to know when you almost walked out on your marriage.\u201d\u00a0 Was that true of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It was true of me\u2014very definitely. I came to that point where I thought: \u201cThis is <em>not<\/em> what I thought it was going to be. I can\u2019t do this anymore. I don\u2019t know what to do!\u00a0 I feel trapped.\u201d\u00a0 But I did sit down\u2014it was on my front porch. I went outside, and I sat down. I thought, \u201cHow do I get out of this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How many years had you been married?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, probably about ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Had some kids?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Oh, we had three kids\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, there was a lot at stake. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>There was a lot at stake. That\u2019s why I knew that I had a <em>huge<\/em> dilemma on my hands. Being a believer, I knew that I couldn\u2019t walk away from my marriage without problems before God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew that, but I also didn\u2019t know how to stay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, what happened on the steps, as you sat there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. I cried. [Laughter]\u00a0 I prayed. I pleaded for help. I decided that for the sake of my children \/ for the sake of my faith that I couldn\u2019t walk away. I had to go back in, and I had to figure out a way to make this work. I did \/ my husband did, but it was a process. You know, we had some dysfunctional things going on in our marriage that we needed to work on. So, yes, there were some dark days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I\u2019m so glad you ladies brought this up because I mentioned on an earlier broadcast that FamilyLife started an e-mentoring guide to both equip folks who want to be a mentor\u2014some training to walk them through to give them confidence because the confidence issue is the number-one obstacle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but also a place for those who wanted to sign up to be mentored to do that. And we\u2019ve got 3,000 people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014this year that will be touched by this ministry\u2014some for a lot of hours \/ some for, perhaps, just a few hours. But I asked Gary Blunier, who heads this up, here at FamilyLife\u2014I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the number-one issue?\u201d This was fascinating what he said\u2014he said, \u201cThe number-one issue is\u2014 you have got a generation of young people coming out of broken homes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cwho have never seen it modeled.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, that is true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And they are coming to our website\u2014they are coming in search of a mentor because they are saying, \u201cWe want to make it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWe don\u2019t want to walk out. We don\u2019t want to quit because we bore the pain of those who did. Help us figure this out. Coach us. Encourage us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut to your point, Barbara, they\u2019re going to demand that we be authentic, and take them into the interior of our lives, and let them know when we struggled, where we blew it, where we weren\u2019t doing what we were supposed to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s your most powerful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. It is. You know, I think, Dennis, that when we tell stories that are authentic like this, we normalize the difficulty and pain of human life and human experience. We, also, give hope, \u201cIf you made it through that tough time, I can too.\u201d\u00a0 And it\u2019s these real stories from our life that do that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>And not just in the past\u2014but you know, sometimes, we struggle today. And I think it helps them to even know that we\u2019re still making it, even though we don\u2019t have all the answers. That gives them hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, could I have my soapbox back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Absolutely. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>I\u2019ll stand on the side and just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Thank you, Sue. It\u2019s been wrestled away by some very good people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>These women want to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they want to plant an orchard \/ an organic orchard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>We do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what I want to say to the listener, though: \u201cThis is not a side issue.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We can grouse and gripe about politics, and what\u2019s happening in our country, and the moral decay and moral decline; and you know what?\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t fix a thing. All it does is, I think, just kind of sour all of us; but instead, why not be a part of the orchard\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and decide to plant where you are, and grow some fruit in the lives of some young women\/young men and begin to mentor them and disciple them in the Book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if they are looking for a great way to do that, this book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>, is really an excellent guide. It\u2019s not going to solve every problem you are going to face; but we\u2019ve just said\u2014it\u2019s okay that you don\u2019t have the answers. That\u2019s a part of mentoring\u2014knowing you do not have the answers but knowing where to go to get them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website. Check it out!\u00a0 Over 8 million last year\u20148 million unique people came to our website, looking for help and hope, biblically, around issues they\u2019re facing. A mentor can do that and guide a young person through some thorny issues in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd ladies, I just want to say, \u201cThanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and thanks for your ministry at Dallas Theological Seminary as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, thanks for inviting us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>We have benefited much. Thank you <em>so<\/em> <em>much<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And when you are ready to start planting some seeds and doing some organic mentoring, we\u2019ve got the gardening book for you right here. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob will come to your home, and he will help you plant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Till the soil\u2014[Laughter]\u2014absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He will help you plant the orchard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Thank you for offering that on my behalf. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t have a whole lot going on in your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you can order a copy of the book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Or again, find us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think about the assignment that God has given us, as a ministry, here at FamilyLife. Our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. And that\u2019s really a mentoring goal. It really ties in with what we\u2019ve been talking about. And I\u2019ve heard you say a lot of times, Dennis: \u201cThis is not something that an organization like FamilyLife can do. This is something that we\u2019ve all got to be a part of.\u201d\u00a0 We need listeners joining with us in this mission. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways listeners join us in the mission of FamilyLife is by helping to cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. We\u2019re grateful for our Legacy Partners, who contribute each month to help make that happen; and we\u2019re grateful for those of you, who will occasionally stop by and either make an online donation, or call to make a donation, or mail your donation to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour support is what makes <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible, and we are very grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, we\u2019d like to express our gratitude for your support of this ministry. If you make a donation today, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>\u2014seven stories you can read aloud to the kids as a way to help build a culture of gratefulness in your family and in your home. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI care.\u201d You can make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Or mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd with that, we hope you have a great weekend this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church. And I hope you can join us back on Monday. Do you know the name Ginny Owens?\u00a0 Ginny is a singer \/ songwriter, and she has been blind since she was a child. She\u2019s going to stop by with her keyboard and share her story and share some music with us as well. So, I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. 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