{"id":303746,"date":"2015-11-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-11-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/mentoring-over-coffee\/"},"modified":"2015-11-19T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-11-19T17:00:00","slug":"mentoring-over-coffee","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mentoring-over-coffee\/","title":{"rendered":"Mentoring Over Coffee"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Think you&#8217;d like to be a mentor? Then why don&#8217;t you start with coffee. Seminary professors Barbara Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards encourage women to be attentive to the mentoring opportunities around them, and to forget the idea that mentoring has to be structured. They remind women that reaching a younger generation means they&#8217;ll need to enter the world\u00a0of\u00a0millennials.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barbara Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards encourage women to be attentive to the mentoring opportunities around them, and to forget the idea that mentoring has to be structured.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-19.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.67M","filesize_raw":"24815196","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821,2093],"tags":[4445,4446,4444,4443],"podcast_series":[7229],"cwp_profile":[8841,8840],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303746","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","category-women","tag-not-a-program","tag-organic","tag-relational","tag-titus-2-principles","podcast_series-organic-mentoring","cwp_profile-barbara-neumann","cwp_profile-sue-edwards","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303746\/mentoring-over-coffee","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303746\/mentoring-over-coffee","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"QAga8qF2T1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mentoring-over-coffee\/\">Mentoring Over Coffee<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/mentoring-over-coffee\/embed\/#?secret=QAga8qF2T1\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Mentoring Over Coffee&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"QAga8qF2T1\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A lot of younger women today say they would love to have older women, who are giving them counsel \/ who are pouring into their lives; but Barbara Neumann says, \u201cThey\u2019re not looking for someone to be the Bible-answer woman.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>What they tell me is that: \u201cWhat I want is someone who will listen to my life \/ listen to what I\u2019m saying. Help me process it and make biblical decisions,\u201d because many of them don\u2019t know the Bible\u2014they don\u2019t know how to think biblically.\u00a0 Just that opportunity to process life with a more-experienced person, many times, transforms the way they think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, November 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. What does it look like to effectively mentor a younger man or a younger woman?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to spend time exploring that subject today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob, I\u2019m still trying to get over a pronouncement that was made by one of our guests on the broadcasts earlier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What pronouncement?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, the guest, who is a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, said she wanted to deep-six the word, mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, I went and did a little research.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I feel a little bit better about deep-sixing the word, mentor. The reason is\u2014I used my Logos word study\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014which is powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The Bible study software; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s powerful. And the word, mentor, does not appear in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re okay getting rid of it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I feel a little better that a Dallas Seminary Prof wanted to deep-six the word, mentor. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How about mentee?\u00a0 We\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t look that one up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; well, I\u2019ve got the work down on this. Keith, the engineer, went to work, as you said \/ as you directed him to do earlier. He has the pronouncement. So, Keith, the engineer\u2014\u201cIs mentee\u2014is it an official word?\u00a0 Can we use that word?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Keith: <\/strong>It\u2019s an official slang word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Official slang\u2014it\u2019s in Urban Dictionary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Keith: <\/strong>But not in any gold-standard etymology. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dr. Barbara Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards join us again on the broadcast. Ladies, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They both teach at Dallas Theological Seminary, and they have coauthored a book called <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. I really am tempted to tell the story about organic, but I\u2019m not going to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad. I\u2019m just thinking, \u201cIf she\u2019s going to deep-six the word, mentor, she\u2019s got a problem with her book; doesn\u2019t she?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She\u2019s planting it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. There you go!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s what she\u2019s doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, okay; Sue, what word are you going to use if you\u2019re going to eliminate this from our vocabulary and you can\u2019t use it in this broadcast?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m using it in the broadcast, and I\u2019m using it in training, and we\u2019re using it in the book. We\u2019re just not using it when we attempt to invite someone to be your mentor. Actually, though, it\u2019s funny\u2014we just ask them to coffee. We just ask them to come and spend time with\u2014the younger woman does that for the older woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s an invitation to relationship; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>But it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> just a friendship. It\u2019s someone, who is more experienced, moving, helping, guiding, asking the right questions, praying with, listening to, and then, giving biblical perspective as it\u2019s needed to move them closer to Christ \/ to grow them up in the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And here\u2019s what I want to really underline here\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the concept of mentoring <em>is<\/em> taught from Genesis to Revelation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is the DNA of the Book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think of two particular passages that always come to mind for me\u2014I think the classic is Titus, Chapter 2\u2014there, older men are instructed to teach younger men certain things \/ older women to teach younger women certain things. Then, I also think of\u2014isn\u2019t it 2 Timothy 2:2 that says, \u201cThat which you have heard from me you are now to pass on to other men who will pass it on to others.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s this cycle of: You learn \/ you pass on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I tell\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019ve got two more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, Deuteronomy 6\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s our flagship verse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014parents and children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you\u2019ve got to pass on your experience of God and your knowledge of God to the next generation. The other is the Great Commission. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jesus called us to make disciples. I think, at the heart of discipleship is that dreaded word, mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, it is one person passing onto another, sharpening their life to become like Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But Barbara, here\u2019s how I\u2019ve said it to folks at our church\u2014I\u2019ve said: \u201cEverybody in our church should be able to answer the question: \u2018Who is pouring into you?\u2019\u00a0 Then, you should be able to answer the question: \u2018Who are you pouring into?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And I said, \u201cIf somebody is not pouring into you, and you\u2019re not pouring into somebody, there\u2019s a swamp occurring somewhere; and that will just stink up the place.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s a great picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you need somebody pouring into you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and you need to be pouring into somebody. <em>That\u2019s<\/em> what this is all about; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. And going back to the Deuteronomy 6 passage\u2014Moses was speaking to the entire nation of Israel. We normally see that in the context of parents teaching their children; but if you look at it carefully, he was speaking to the entire community\u2014believing community \/ the people of God.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u201cHear, O Israel.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. So, this charge, I believe, was given to <em>all<\/em> people of God to be a part of this movement to grow the next generation of people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s important for us to read this and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014just let you ladies comment on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDeuteronomy 6:4:\u201c\u2019Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the Lord is one!\u00a0 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, that I command you today, shall be on your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children and talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s a way of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, it\u2019s a way\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s natural \/ it\u2019s organic. It\u2019s something that happens in the teachable moments when you are doing life together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right, we have called this organic mentoring because it\u2019s essentially attentiveness to opportunities that arise in normal everyday life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are attentive to that\u2014if you\u2019re attentive to opportunities\u2014they pop up everywhere. So, we retrain\u2014bringing women out of the idea that: \u201cThis is a structured program, where you have to be qualified,\u201d or \u201c\u2026something you must sign up for and make a commitment to.\u201d\u00a0 We want to set\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014all of that aside and say, \u201cJust be attentive to the natural opportunities that are going to pop up every day of your life, as a believer.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, we\u2019re talking today to Sue Edwards and Barbara Neumann, authors of the book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had three older women at our church come to the leadership recently. They said, \u201cWe would like to get something started with mentoring younger women in our church.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, they have the desire. They\u2014I think it\u2019s a Holy Spirit-given unction in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They are in a stage in life where they want to be pouring in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey said: \u201cWe\u2019d like to do this. We\u2019d like to set up a meeting, invite the younger women to come and talk about how we could initiate mentoring relationships.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, at first, they\u2019ve got to call Sue and see if they can get permission to use the word, mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>No!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I would like to\u2014and I\u2019m just going to pass on to them whatever you tell me. So, if you are sitting down with these three ladies\u2014and they\u2019re saying: \u201cWe have this desire,\u201d\u2014how would you direct us to get started and to start doing something?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s wonderful that they have the desire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I worked in churches, as a women\u2019s leader for a number of years, where we set up a program. That, for older women, is the first thing they think of: \u201cI\u2019ve got to set up a program. How will we do this?\u201d Kind of, in our modern way of thinking: \u201cWell, we\u2019ll match them up artificially. We\u2019ll tell them how long to meet. We\u2019ll give them curriculum.\u201d\u00a0 The intent is good; but it is exactly what I saw not working, even 15 years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOccasionally, it works. There are probably listeners out there: \u201cWell, wait a minute!\u00a0 This worked for me.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt <em>can<\/em> work \/ sometimes, it works; but take your energy that you were using in this program and, instead, create a mentoring culture in your faith community. That <em>is<\/em> <em>needed<\/em> because in\u2014especially in a lot of our communities today \/ a lot of our churches\u2014we never come across women who are of a different generation. Show them, challenge them, teach them; but don\u2019t try to artificially match them. And counsel them\u2014then, you can give help. There are lots of other things that\u2014Barbara, what else?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, I think the place we need to start is to build bridges between the two generations because we\u2019re in a situation today where we have <em>remarkable<\/em> differences and preferences in the two generations. We have an older generation that doesn\u2019t understand the younger; but the younger ones don\u2019t understand the older ones. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe place to start is simply training\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014particularly our older women, who want to step into this kind of a role\u2014in what that younger woman is like\u2014that she\u2019s growing and developing in. I think it starts there. Generational differences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And it\u2019s more than a generation gap. We\u2014I had a generation gap between my builder parents and me. This is, I believe, an era shift where we are moving out of a modern print era\u2014500 years, we\u2019ve been thinking systematically \/ we\u2019ve been living a particular way. We are moving into a digital era, which is affecting <em>everything<\/em>. It\u2019s affecting the way people learn, the way they communicate, the way they do family. It is a very different woman\u2014many of them\u2014even those who have grown up in Christian homes. <br><br>George Barna, in 2013, did a very interesting study, in which he looked at how we are losing our young people. It said six in ten of our young people, who come up through our youth ministries, are walking away from the church in the first decade of adult life <em>unless<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014<em>unless<\/em> they experience or have a personal mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And then, the numbers are way down. We believe this could be the answer to retaining, and building into, and bringing back\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014those young people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t agree more. About a decade ago, FamilyLife started\u2014we actually created an e-mentoring guide to equip men and women who would like to be a mentor in other people\u2019s lives. Right now, we have about a hundred e-mentors, who connect with over 3,000 people, currently\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014being mentored through this ministry. I asked Gary Blunier, who heads up this area for FamilyLife\u2014I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the number one thing someone who wants to be a mentor needs to understand?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cOh, that\u2019s real easy.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cYou must enter their world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What you\u2019ve just been talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have to enter their world, and that\u2019s uncomfortable\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for us of an older generation because their world looks at morality, sex, and gender with a whole lot different experience than we had. He was quick to make this observation\u2014he said, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to enter their world, hear their story, know where they are coming from, and then, not be shocked and not be judgmental.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And it gets <em>raw<\/em>, and it\u2019s\u2014it\u2019s\u2014it\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what he said. I asked him\u2014I said, \u201cSo, what are the issues you are dealing with?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cTons of pornography \/ tons of sexual abuse.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, particularly for women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One in three, many believe, have been sexually abused\u2014date-rape \/ maybe, sexual abuse as a child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you have to be able to enter these conversations with wisdom, being led by the Spirit of God, and develop that relationship that can be a safe place for somebody to develop an authentic relationship with an older person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s absolutely what it is, and they don\u2019t want the Bible-answer woman. They don\u2019t want you to start spouting Bible verses. Women who say, \u201cI can\u2019t mentor because I don\u2019t know enough Bible verses,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s being the Bible-answer woman that throws them off. Now, yes, you should give biblical content once you have their trust; but you don\u2019t\u2014it\u2019s not about spouting Bible verses. It\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> what you\u2019ve said\u2014but we have to understand them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of us, as a boomer\u2014in my mid-twenties, I had my family started. I kind of knew where I was going in life. My husband was on his career path. Things were pretty set, and people did things in order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, young people spend most of their twenties trying to figure out what life is <em>about<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and into their thirties. They marry later. Some have children. Some choose not to\u2014it\u2019s a <em>crazy<\/em> world now, and they are faced with all of that. They\u2019re so needing guidance and help, but it\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> the way that you have described it\u2014is what we\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It really makes sense why so many of the younger generation are leaving the church because, if you don\u2019t have this relationship with someone, what is there to connect you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to a body of believers?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>What they tell me is that: \u201cWhat I want is someone who will listen to my life\u2014listen to my life \/ listen to what I\u2019m saying\u2014help me process it, and make biblical decisions,\u201d because, again, they\u2014many of them don\u2019t know the Bible. They don\u2019t know what the Bible says. They don\u2019t know how to think biblically. Just that opportunity to process life with a more-experienced person, many times, transforms the way they think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and some of us older, more-experienced people, want to jump right in and fix.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, and that\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We hear their story, and it\u2019s like: \u201cOh, oh, oh!\u00a0 I know the answer!\u00a0 Here\u2019s what you do, \u2018\u201dA\u201d, \u201cB\u201d, \u201cC.\u201d\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, and that just\u2014that absolutely is the <em>wrong<\/em> approach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a turnoff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>They head for the exit as fast as possible. They don\u2019t want you to try to impose your life on theirs. That\u2019s another thing\u2014is that we heard them say: \u201cI\u2019m not a ditto of you. I\u2019m not a makeover project to make into the person <em>you<\/em> think I should be. I\u2019m God\u2019s creation. I may be looking at a different path. I want you to help me find that, but not impose on me exactly who <em>you<\/em> are.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the stories that came from our e-mentoring team was a couple came for some mentoring. It very quickly became apparent during the first session that they were sleeping together; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Very common. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They are not married. And two or three times a week, he goes over to her house; and they just spend the night together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe parents, on both sides, are silent. So, here you are, as a mentor\u2014what are you going to do?\u00a0 Do you pull out the Bible at that point?\u00a0 How do you address this?\u00a0 Well, ultimately, you will. How soon you do that depends on the depth of the relationship \/ the trust that\u2019s established; but this is\u2014this generation\u2014the way they think. Casual sex\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014prior to marriage is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014no big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014no big deal. So, we, as an older generation, have to keep our Bible-thumping\u2014not paralyzed but tempered\u2014and be careful how quickly we move to a Bible solution before we say to them: \u201cDo you understand what God thinks about premarital sex?\u201d\u00a0 And the reality is they ultimately do\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>I was going to say\u2014they probably do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but they really don\u2019t care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you have to move them to a decision, which is what happened in this circumstance. The guy, who was mentoring them, said, \u201cI\u2019d like to challenge you\u201d\u2014after a number of times together\u2014\u201cI\u2019d like to challenge you to abstain from sex until the wedding night.\u201d\u00a0 A couple weeks later, they were with that couple. The young man said, \u201cWe\u2019re doing it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Good! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWe made the commitment.\u201d\u00a0 So, there is a place to bring the standard of Scripture to bear in those mentoring relationships; but what you ladies are pointing out is it occurs <em>from<\/em> a relationship with that person. <br><br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dennis has written into his Bible in Ecclesiastes 3: \u201cA time to thump and a time to refrain from thumping.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. Well, it\u2019s <em>absolutely<\/em> true; and it\u2019s <em>so<\/em> important. That wisdom comes from the Holy Spirit who guides you as you love this person \/ as you think long-term about how to help <em>them<\/em> in their particular situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, as we\u2019re talking, I\u2019m thinking about the number of times that\u2014Dennis and I have both had this experience\u2014people we meet at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways or events where we\u2019re speaking\u2014but they\u2019ll come up to us. They will say, \u201cYou guys have mentored me, as a husband \/ as a dad.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019m just sitting here, thinking with all the conversation we\u2019ve had about mentoring, \u201cDoes that really fit?\u201d I mean, what we\u2019re doing here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014it seems like we would need to have more one-on-one for it to really qualify as mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong><em>No<\/em>, it doesn\u2019t. And that\u2019s what you need\u2014the flexibility. They said, \u201cWe want to take away all these rules,\u201d\u2014that really are not biblical \/ they are just things we have made up\u2014and it actually does qualify for mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I will have the same thing happen\u2014they haven\u2019t asked me to be their mentor\u2014and yet, a year later, they\u2019ll introduce me to somebody and say, \u201cThis is my mentor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI immediately go: \u201cOh my goodness!\u00a0 Have I done all the things I\u2019m supposed to?\u201d\u00a0 No! Stop! Those are the old tapes. I don\u2019t need\u2014actually, what you are doing in FamilyLife \/ what we do with students\u2014it\u2019s more casual, but <em>it<\/em> <em>is<\/em> mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And they like a lot of options. This is what they\u2014they are used to a lot of options. So, when they see the whole field of mentoring, they do not see just one one-on-one relationship. They see opportunities like you offer\u2014they do see the one-on-one coffees \/ they see the group things. For them, it\u2019s a much broader experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s important to note because mentoring can occur one-to-many. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, it can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, it often does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Having some young ladies over to your home for tea or coffee and just talking about life and doing life together\u2014that can be a mentoring relationship that is <em>highly<\/em> effective. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I know this\u2014it\u2019s <em>highly<\/em> needed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>It\u2019s highly needed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because hospitality is one of the missing gifts today in this culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right, and that\u2019s part of it. Also, they\u2014I have women that I mentor around a particular topic. In other words, I teach the Bible. I have women, who see me teach the Bible and go, \u201cI want her to help me learn to teach the Bible,\u201d or \u201cTell me what it\u2019s like to be a woman who teaches the Bible.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t get into the personal areas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother woman knows that I had a difficult relationship with my mother: \u201cHow was that overcome?\u201d\u2014maybe, it\u2019ll be about that. So, it doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be about her whole life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>And she may have multiple mentors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>A young woman told me that, if we are able to establish a mentoring culture\u2014which means that everybody is in on this\u2014our older women are attentive to the needs of the younger ones \/ they are paying attention\u2014the younger ones are asking \/ initiating coffee dates. She said: \u201cWhat I want to do is Google<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI want to look at the community of mentors, and then, discover which one I can talk to about this \/ which one I can talk to about that\u2014you know: \u2018Who\u2019s strong in this area?\u00a0 Who is strong in parenting?\u00a0 Who is strong in marriage?\u00a0 Who\u2019s strong in work-related issues?\u2019\u00a0 I want to Google that and find the woman that I can talk to.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Everybody is creating her own advisory board. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. Exactly, and that works for them. They feel that freedom and that movement to basically extract what they need from this community of believing women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, if you\u2019re an older woman, you need to step up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014can I use that term, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>With older women\u2014yes, I think so. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think we can\u2014and if you are a younger woman, you need to find someone you can lean into and get their wisdom and advice\u2014maybe, multiple women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Multiple women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWho is pouring into you?\u201d and \u201cWho are you pouring into?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Those are the two questions you need to be asking. And if you are going to pour into the lives of others, it will be helpful for you to read through the book that Sue and Barbara have written. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>It\u2019s called Organic Mentoring: A Mentor\u2019s Guide to Relationships with Next Generation Women<\/em>. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. I have passed this out to women in our church and said, \u201cThis is a great book for you to catch the vision for what mentoring ought to look like\u2014what Titus 2\u2014how it ought to be lived out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the title of the book is <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you can order your copy of the book; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can request a copy of the book when you get in touch with us. Again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or our toll-free number is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to take a minute and say a quick word of thanks, if I can, to those of you who have made today\u2019s program possible\u2014those of you who are supporters of this ministry\u2014Legacy Partners, who make a donation each month, to help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or those of you who will call in, from time to time, or go online and make an online donation. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to provide practical biblical help and hope around issues facing couples in marriages and families. And if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to express our gratitude by sending you a book about gratitude. Barbara Rainey has written a series of stories all about being thankful. These are designed to be read aloud at the dinner table. Older kids can read them to younger kids. It\u2019s just a great way to focus on giving thanks in all things, and this is a good time of the year to be doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI care\u201d; or you can donate by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can also mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how some of the most effective mentoring you may ever do will come as you share from your failures with the younger people in your life. We\u2019ll explore that tomorrow. Hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.67M"],"filesize_raw":["24815196"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303746.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303746.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards encourage women to be attentive to the mentoring opportunities around them, and to forget the idea that mentoring has to be structured.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-11-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>A lot of younger women today say they would love to have older women, who are giving them counsel \/ who are pouring into their lives; but Barbara Neumann says, \u201cThey\u2019re not looking for someone to be the Bible-answer woman.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>What they tell me is that: \u201cWhat I want is someone who will listen to my life \/ listen to what I\u2019m saying. Help me process it and make biblical decisions,\u201d because many of them don\u2019t know the Bible\u2014they don\u2019t know how to think biblically.\u00a0 Just that opportunity to process life with a more-experienced person, many times, transforms the way they think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, November 19<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. What does it look like to effectively mentor a younger man or a younger woman?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to spend time exploring that subject today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob, I\u2019m still trying to get over a pronouncement that was made by one of our guests on the broadcasts earlier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What pronouncement?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, the guest, who is a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, said she wanted to deep-six the word, mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, I went and did a little research.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I feel a little bit better about deep-sixing the word, mentor. The reason is\u2014I used my Logos word study\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014which is powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The Bible study software; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s powerful. And the word, mentor, does not appear in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you\u2019re okay getting rid of it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I feel a little better that a Dallas Seminary Prof wanted to deep-six the word, mentor. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How about mentee?\u00a0 We\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I didn\u2019t look that one up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; well, I\u2019ve got the work down on this. Keith, the engineer, went to work, as you said \/ as you directed him to do earlier. He has the pronouncement. So, Keith, the engineer\u2014\u201cIs mentee\u2014is it an official word?\u00a0 Can we use that word?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Keith: <\/strong>It\u2019s an official slang word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Official slang\u2014it\u2019s in Urban Dictionary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Keith: <\/strong>But not in any gold-standard etymology. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Dr. Barbara Neumann and Dr. Sue Edwards join us again on the broadcast. Ladies, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They both teach at Dallas Theological Seminary, and they have coauthored a book called <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. I really am tempted to tell the story about organic, but I\u2019m not going to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m glad. I\u2019m just thinking, \u201cIf she\u2019s going to deep-six the word, mentor, she\u2019s got a problem with her book; doesn\u2019t she?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She\u2019s planting it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. There you go!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s what she\u2019s doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, okay; Sue, what word are you going to use if you\u2019re going to eliminate this from our vocabulary and you can\u2019t use it in this broadcast?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m using it in the broadcast, and I\u2019m using it in training, and we\u2019re using it in the book. We\u2019re just not using it when we attempt to invite someone to be your mentor. Actually, though, it\u2019s funny\u2014we just ask them to coffee. We just ask them to come and spend time with\u2014the younger woman does that for the older woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s an invitation to relationship; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>But it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> just a friendship. It\u2019s someone, who is more experienced, moving, helping, guiding, asking the right questions, praying with, listening to, and then, giving biblical perspective as it\u2019s needed to move them closer to Christ \/ to grow them up in the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And here\u2019s what I want to really underline here\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the concept of mentoring <em>is<\/em> taught from Genesis to Revelation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is the DNA of the Book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think of two particular passages that always come to mind for me\u2014I think the classic is Titus, Chapter 2\u2014there, older men are instructed to teach younger men certain things \/ older women to teach younger women certain things. Then, I also think of\u2014isn\u2019t it 2 Timothy 2:2 that says, \u201cThat which you have heard from me you are now to pass on to other men who will pass it on to others.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s this cycle of: You learn \/ you pass on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I tell\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019ve got two more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, Deuteronomy 6\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s our flagship verse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014parents and children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you\u2019ve got to pass on your experience of God and your knowledge of God to the next generation. The other is the Great Commission. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jesus called us to make disciples. I think, at the heart of discipleship is that dreaded word, mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, it is one person passing onto another, sharpening their life to become like Jesus Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But Barbara, here\u2019s how I\u2019ve said it to folks at our church\u2014I\u2019ve said: \u201cEverybody in our church should be able to answer the question: \u2018Who is pouring into you?\u2019\u00a0 Then, you should be able to answer the question: \u2018Who are you pouring into?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And I said, \u201cIf somebody is not pouring into you, and you\u2019re not pouring into somebody, there\u2019s a swamp occurring somewhere; and that will just stink up the place.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s a great picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you need somebody pouring into you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and you need to be pouring into somebody. <em>That\u2019s<\/em> what this is all about; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It is. And going back to the Deuteronomy 6 passage\u2014Moses was speaking to the entire nation of Israel. We normally see that in the context of parents teaching their children; but if you look at it carefully, he was speaking to the entire community\u2014believing community \/ the people of God.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u201cHear, O Israel.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. So, this charge, I believe, was given to <em>all<\/em> people of God to be a part of this movement to grow the next generation of people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s important for us to read this and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014just let you ladies comment on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDeuteronomy 6:4:\u201c\u2019Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the Lord is one!\u00a0 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, that I command you today, shall be on your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children and talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s a way of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, it\u2019s a way\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s natural \/ it\u2019s organic. It\u2019s something that happens in the teachable moments when you are doing life together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right, we have called this organic mentoring because it\u2019s essentially attentiveness to opportunities that arise in normal everyday life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are attentive to that\u2014if you\u2019re attentive to opportunities\u2014they pop up everywhere. So, we retrain\u2014bringing women out of the idea that: \u201cThis is a structured program, where you have to be qualified,\u201d or \u201c\u2026something you must sign up for and make a commitment to.\u201d\u00a0 We want to set\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014all of that aside and say, \u201cJust be attentive to the natural opportunities that are going to pop up every day of your life, as a believer.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, we\u2019re talking today to Sue Edwards and Barbara Neumann, authors of the book, <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had three older women at our church come to the leadership recently. They said, \u201cWe would like to get something started with mentoring younger women in our church.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, they have the desire. They\u2014I think it\u2019s a Holy Spirit-given unction in their lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They are in a stage in life where they want to be pouring in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey said: \u201cWe\u2019d like to do this. We\u2019d like to set up a meeting, invite the younger women to come and talk about how we could initiate mentoring relationships.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, at first, they\u2019ve got to call Sue and see if they can get permission to use the word, mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>No!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I would like to\u2014and I\u2019m just going to pass on to them whatever you tell me. So, if you are sitting down with these three ladies\u2014and they\u2019re saying: \u201cWe have this desire,\u201d\u2014how would you direct us to get started and to start doing something?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s wonderful that they have the desire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I worked in churches, as a women\u2019s leader for a number of years, where we set up a program. That, for older women, is the first thing they think of: \u201cI\u2019ve got to set up a program. How will we do this?\u201d Kind of, in our modern way of thinking: \u201cWell, we\u2019ll match them up artificially. We\u2019ll tell them how long to meet. We\u2019ll give them curriculum.\u201d\u00a0 The intent is good; but it is exactly what I saw not working, even 15 years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOccasionally, it works. There are probably listeners out there: \u201cWell, wait a minute!\u00a0 This worked for me.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt <em>can<\/em> work \/ sometimes, it works; but take your energy that you were using in this program and, instead, create a mentoring culture in your faith community. That <em>is<\/em> <em>needed<\/em> because in\u2014especially in a lot of our communities today \/ a lot of our churches\u2014we never come across women who are of a different generation. Show them, challenge them, teach them; but don\u2019t try to artificially match them. And counsel them\u2014then, you can give help. There are lots of other things that\u2014Barbara, what else?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, I think the place we need to start is to build bridges between the two generations because we\u2019re in a situation today where we have <em>remarkable<\/em> differences and preferences in the two generations. We have an older generation that doesn\u2019t understand the younger; but the younger ones don\u2019t understand the older ones. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe place to start is simply training\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014particularly our older women, who want to step into this kind of a role\u2014in what that younger woman is like\u2014that she\u2019s growing and developing in. I think it starts there. Generational differences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And it\u2019s more than a generation gap. We\u2014I had a generation gap between my builder parents and me. This is, I believe, an era shift where we are moving out of a modern print era\u2014500 years, we\u2019ve been thinking systematically \/ we\u2019ve been living a particular way. We are moving into a digital era, which is affecting <em>everything<\/em>. It\u2019s affecting the way people learn, the way they communicate, the way they do family. It is a very different woman\u2014many of them\u2014even those who have grown up in Christian homes. <br><br>George Barna, in 2013, did a very interesting study, in which he looked at how we are losing our young people. It said six in ten of our young people, who come up through our youth ministries, are walking away from the church in the first decade of adult life <em>unless<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014<em>unless<\/em> they experience or have a personal mentor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And then, the numbers are way down. We believe this could be the answer to retaining, and building into, and bringing back\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014those young people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I couldn\u2019t agree more. About a decade ago, FamilyLife started\u2014we actually created an e-mentoring guide to equip men and women who would like to be a mentor in other people\u2019s lives. Right now, we have about a hundred e-mentors, who connect with over 3,000 people, currently\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014being mentored through this ministry. I asked Gary Blunier, who heads up this area for FamilyLife\u2014I said, \u201cWhat\u2019s the number one thing someone who wants to be a mentor needs to understand?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cOh, that\u2019s real easy.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cYou must enter their world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What you\u2019ve just been talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have to enter their world, and that\u2019s uncomfortable\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014for us of an older generation because their world looks at morality, sex, and gender with a whole lot different experience than we had. He was quick to make this observation\u2014he said, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to enter their world, hear their story, know where they are coming from, and then, not be shocked and not be judgmental.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>And it gets <em>raw<\/em>, and it\u2019s\u2014it\u2019s\u2014it\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s what he said. I asked him\u2014I said, \u201cSo, what are the issues you are dealing with?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cTons of pornography \/ tons of sexual abuse.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, particularly for women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One in three, many believe, have been sexually abused\u2014date-rape \/ maybe, sexual abuse as a child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you have to be able to enter these conversations with wisdom, being led by the Spirit of God, and develop that relationship that can be a safe place for somebody to develop an authentic relationship with an older person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s absolutely what it is, and they don\u2019t want the Bible-answer woman. They don\u2019t want you to start spouting Bible verses. Women who say, \u201cI can\u2019t mentor because I don\u2019t know enough Bible verses,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s being the Bible-answer woman that throws them off. Now, yes, you should give biblical content once you have their trust; but you don\u2019t\u2014it\u2019s not about spouting Bible verses. It\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> what you\u2019ve said\u2014but we have to understand them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of us, as a boomer\u2014in my mid-twenties, I had my family started. I kind of knew where I was going in life. My husband was on his career path. Things were pretty set, and people did things in order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, young people spend most of their twenties trying to figure out what life is <em>about<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and into their thirties. They marry later. Some have children. Some choose not to\u2014it\u2019s a <em>crazy<\/em> world now, and they are faced with all of that. They\u2019re so needing guidance and help, but it\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> the way that you have described it\u2014is what we\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It really makes sense why so many of the younger generation are leaving the church because, if you don\u2019t have this relationship with someone, what is there to connect you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to a body of believers?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>What they tell me is that: \u201cWhat I want is someone who will listen to my life\u2014listen to my life \/ listen to what I\u2019m saying\u2014help me process it, and make biblical decisions,\u201d because, again, they\u2014many of them don\u2019t know the Bible. They don\u2019t know what the Bible says. They don\u2019t know how to think biblically. Just that opportunity to process life with a more-experienced person, many times, transforms the way they think. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and some of us older, more-experienced people, want to jump right in and fix.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, and that\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We hear their story, and it\u2019s like: \u201cOh, oh, oh!\u00a0 I know the answer!\u00a0 Here\u2019s what you do, \u2018\u201dA\u201d, \u201cB\u201d, \u201cC.\u201d\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, and that just\u2014that absolutely is the <em>wrong<\/em> approach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s a turnoff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>They head for the exit as fast as possible. They don\u2019t want you to try to impose your life on theirs. That\u2019s another thing\u2014is that we heard them say: \u201cI\u2019m not a ditto of you. I\u2019m not a makeover project to make into the person <em>you<\/em> think I should be. I\u2019m God\u2019s creation. I may be looking at a different path. I want you to help me find that, but not impose on me exactly who <em>you<\/em> are.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the stories that came from our e-mentoring team was a couple came for some mentoring. It very quickly became apparent during the first session that they were sleeping together; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Very common. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They are not married. And two or three times a week, he goes over to her house; and they just spend the night together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe parents, on both sides, are silent. So, here you are, as a mentor\u2014what are you going to do?\u00a0 Do you pull out the Bible at that point?\u00a0 How do you address this?\u00a0 Well, ultimately, you will. How soon you do that depends on the depth of the relationship \/ the trust that\u2019s established; but this is\u2014this generation\u2014the way they think. Casual sex\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014prior to marriage is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>\u2014no big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014no big deal. So, we, as an older generation, have to keep our Bible-thumping\u2014not paralyzed but tempered\u2014and be careful how quickly we move to a Bible solution before we say to them: \u201cDo you understand what God thinks about premarital sex?\u201d\u00a0 And the reality is they ultimately do\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>I was going to say\u2014they probably do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014but they really don\u2019t care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you have to move them to a decision, which is what happened in this circumstance. The guy, who was mentoring them, said, \u201cI\u2019d like to challenge you\u201d\u2014after a number of times together\u2014\u201cI\u2019d like to challenge you to abstain from sex until the wedding night.\u201d\u00a0 A couple weeks later, they were with that couple. The young man said, \u201cWe\u2019re doing it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Good! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cWe made the commitment.\u201d\u00a0 So, there is a place to bring the standard of Scripture to bear in those mentoring relationships; but what you ladies are pointing out is it occurs <em>from<\/em> a relationship with that person. <br><br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dennis has written into his Bible in Ecclesiastes 3: \u201cA time to thump and a time to refrain from thumping.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. Well, it\u2019s <em>absolutely<\/em> true; and it\u2019s <em>so<\/em> important. That wisdom comes from the Holy Spirit who guides you as you love this person \/ as you think long-term about how to help <em>them<\/em> in their particular situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, as we\u2019re talking, I\u2019m thinking about the number of times that\u2014Dennis and I have both had this experience\u2014people we meet at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways or events where we\u2019re speaking\u2014but they\u2019ll come up to us. They will say, \u201cYou guys have mentored me, as a husband \/ as a dad.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019m just sitting here, thinking with all the conversation we\u2019ve had about mentoring, \u201cDoes that really fit?\u201d I mean, what we\u2019re doing here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014it seems like we would need to have more one-on-one for it to really qualify as mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong><em>No<\/em>, it doesn\u2019t. And that\u2019s what you need\u2014the flexibility. They said, \u201cWe want to take away all these rules,\u201d\u2014that really are not biblical \/ they are just things we have made up\u2014and it actually does qualify for mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I will have the same thing happen\u2014they haven\u2019t asked me to be their mentor\u2014and yet, a year later, they\u2019ll introduce me to somebody and say, \u201cThis is my mentor.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI immediately go: \u201cOh my goodness!\u00a0 Have I done all the things I\u2019m supposed to?\u201d\u00a0 No! Stop! Those are the old tapes. I don\u2019t need\u2014actually, what you are doing in FamilyLife \/ what we do with students\u2014it\u2019s more casual, but <em>it<\/em> <em>is<\/em> mentoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And they like a lot of options. This is what they\u2014they are used to a lot of options. So, when they see the whole field of mentoring, they do not see just one one-on-one relationship. They see opportunities like you offer\u2014they do see the one-on-one coffees \/ they see the group things. For them, it\u2019s a much broader experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s important to note because mentoring can occur one-to-many. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, it can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Yes, it often does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Having some young ladies over to your home for tea or coffee and just talking about life and doing life together\u2014that can be a mentoring relationship that is <em>highly<\/em> effective. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I know this\u2014it\u2019s <em>highly<\/em> needed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>It\u2019s highly needed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because hospitality is one of the missing gifts today in this culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Right, and that\u2019s part of it. Also, they\u2014I have women that I mentor around a particular topic. In other words, I teach the Bible. I have women, who see me teach the Bible and go, \u201cI want her to help me learn to teach the Bible,\u201d or \u201cTell me what it\u2019s like to be a woman who teaches the Bible.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t get into the personal areas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother woman knows that I had a difficult relationship with my mother: \u201cHow was that overcome?\u201d\u2014maybe, it\u2019ll be about that. So, it doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be about her whole life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sue: <\/strong>And she may have multiple mentors. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>A young woman told me that, if we are able to establish a mentoring culture\u2014which means that everybody is in on this\u2014our older women are attentive to the needs of the younger ones \/ they are paying attention\u2014the younger ones are asking \/ initiating coffee dates. She said: \u201cWhat I want to do is Google<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI want to look at the community of mentors, and then, discover which one I can talk to about this \/ which one I can talk to about that\u2014you know: \u2018Who\u2019s strong in this area?\u00a0 Who is strong in parenting?\u00a0 Who is strong in marriage?\u00a0 Who\u2019s strong in work-related issues?\u2019\u00a0 I want to Google that and find the woman that I can talk to.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Everybody is creating her own advisory board. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes. Exactly, and that works for them. They feel that freedom and that movement to basically extract what they need from this community of believing women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, if you\u2019re an older woman, you need to step up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014can I use that term, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>With older women\u2014yes, I think so. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think we can\u2014and if you are a younger woman, you need to find someone you can lean into and get their wisdom and advice\u2014maybe, multiple women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue: <\/strong>Multiple women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWho is pouring into you?\u201d and \u201cWho are you pouring into?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Those are the two questions you need to be asking. And if you are going to pour into the lives of others, it will be helpful for you to read through the book that Sue and Barbara have written. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>It\u2019s called Organic Mentoring: A Mentor\u2019s Guide to Relationships with Next Generation Women<\/em>. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. I have passed this out to women in our church and said, \u201cThis is a great book for you to catch the vision for what mentoring ought to look like\u2014what Titus 2\u2014how it ought to be lived out.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the title of the book is <em>Organic Mentoring<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you can order your copy of the book; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can request a copy of the book when you get in touch with us. Again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or our toll-free number is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to take a minute and say a quick word of thanks, if I can, to those of you who have made today\u2019s program possible\u2014those of you who are supporters of this ministry\u2014Legacy Partners, who make a donation each month, to help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014or those of you who will call in, from time to time, or go online and make an online donation. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to provide practical biblical help and hope around issues facing couples in marriages and families. And if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to express our gratitude by sending you a book about gratitude. Barbara Rainey has written a series of stories all about being thankful. These are designed to be read aloud at the dinner table. Older kids can read them to younger kids. It\u2019s just a great way to focus on giving thanks in all things, and this is a good time of the year to be doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI care\u201d; or you can donate by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can also mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how some of the most effective mentoring you may ever do will come as you share from your failures with the younger people in your life. We\u2019ll explore that tomorrow. Hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303746","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303746"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303746"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303746"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303746"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}