{"id":303722,"date":"2015-10-28T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-10-28T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-matter-of-life-and-death\/"},"modified":"2025-01-09T13:34:22","modified_gmt":"2025-01-09T18:34:22","slug":"a-matter-of-life-and-death","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-matter-of-life-and-death\/","title":{"rendered":"A Matter of Life and Death"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There&#8217;s a deadly weapon you carry with you all the time. Do you know what it is? Your tongue! Pastor Nelson Searcy talks about the power of the tongue and the ability we have to speak life or death to others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There&#8217;s a deadly weapon you carry with you all the time. Do you know what it is? Your tongue! Pastor Nelson Searcy talks about the power of the tongue and the ability we have to speak life or death to others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-28.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.25M","filesize_raw":"25432764","date_recorded":"2015-10-28 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2082,2866],"tags":[4726,5850],"podcast_series":[8108],"cwp_profile":[3327],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303722","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-spiritual-disciplines-essentials-faith","tag-cursing","tag-how-to-stop-cursing","podcast_series-tongue-pierced","cwp_profile-nelson-searcy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303722\/a-matter-of-life-and-death","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303722\/a-matter-of-life-and-death","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2bNXp6eP5L\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-matter-of-life-and-death\/\">A Matter of Life and Death<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-matter-of-life-and-death\/embed\/#?secret=2bNXp6eP5L\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Matter of Life and Death&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2bNXp6eP5L\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"There's a deadly weapon you carry with you all the time. Do you know what it is? Your tongue! Pastor Nelson Searcy talks about the power of the tongue and the ability we have to speak life or death to others.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Pastor Nelson Searcy says, \u201cThat is so true.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Day to day, when we speak, our words can bring death\u2014maybe, not physical death\u2014but death to a relationship \/ death to a career. Then, words can bring life. I can build you up with my words \/ I can speak some encouragement into you\u2014speaking enthusiastically in your life. That can bring life to a marriage \/ can bring life to a relationship\u2014can bring life to a son, or daughter, or family member.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 28<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Over the last 24 hours, would you say that you used your tongue more often for good or for ill?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to explore that today. Stay tuned.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. I\u2019m guessing that what we\u2019re going to talk about today is something that\u2019s an issue for <em>everybody<\/em> listening.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And for those who are wondering whether you should listen to this broadcast or not, stay tuned. We\u2019re going to talk about tongue piercing. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>In a manner of speaking.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In a manner of speaking. Yes, we\u2019re going to talk about speaking, for sure. [Laughter] And we\u2019re going to hear an incredible illustration by our guest, Nelson Searcy; but first, I want to welcome him to the broadcast. Nelson, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Dennis\/Bob, great to be with you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Nelson and his wife Kelley live in Boca Raton, Florida. They\u2019ve been married 21 years\u2014have one child, Alexander, who is one inch away from being five feet tall. He\u2019s nine years old\u2014soon to go through <em>Passport2Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Listen carefully to my voice, Alexander, because you\u2019ll hear it again in <em>Passport2Purity<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019ll get sick of it, Alexander.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014with your dad. No, he won\u2019t!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 He\u2019s going to love it, Bob. He\u2019s going to love it.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, Nelson has started a church in New York City. It\u2019s called the Journey Church\u2014and did that back in 2002\u2014and has started a number of churches since then. How many have been spawned from that one church?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Well, I think about a dozen have been spawned from that. We keep four that are still Journey locations.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How about that?\u00a0 He\u2019s written a book\u2014no kidding, folks\u2014called <em>Tongue Pierced<\/em>. I\u2019m not going to unpack that yet because, before we came on the air, Bob was asking you about how you came to faith in Christ.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You were reading a book that, ultimately, brought some peace of God to your heart.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. I was an engineer major at North Carolina State University. I had been leaning that direction my entire life. Didn\u2019t grow up in a Christian family but had the opportunity to speak with a gentleman, who had written a book. I went to buy that book, thinking I would take it to the speaking engagement and have him sign it\u2014thought that would be a cool thing to do. While I was there, buying that book, I saw <em>Peace with God<\/em> by Billy Graham. Now, I was so unchurched, at the time, I actually thought Billy Graham was a historical figure. I didn\u2019t even realize he was still alive and still doing his ministry. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>I bought the book, and I took it to a little park there beside the school and began to engage it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you had no kind of background in Christianity at that point?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>To say, \u201cNo,\u201d would be a little too strong. I had gone to church on occasion. My family would occasionally go to a revival meeting, or my parents would seek cheap childcare at a Vacation Bible School\u2014[Laughter]\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>4:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014but very little familiarity with Christianity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Describe your life. <em>Peace with God<\/em>\u2014were you in turmoil or just empty?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Empty would be the right word; but I think, when you are living apart from God, there is turmoil in your heart. I do remember lying awake at night, thinking, \u201cWhat would happen if I die?\u201d and being confronted with that. I was old enough, as a freshman in college, that I\u2019d experienced death\u2014had some friends who had had some tragic things happen. So, I do remember thinking, \u201cWhat would happen if I die?\u201d\u00a0 Graham answers that question. Also, understood that humanity was pretty broken, and I\u2019d made some decisions that were not the best decisions as well. So, all of that resonated.<\/p>\n<p>I prayed that prayer that day, and something phenomenal happened in my life. It wasn\u2019t an immediate change, but I knew the change was real enough for me to seek help\u2014to ask what it means to follow Jesus and to learn more about this new life. I haven\u2019t been perfect since I made that decision, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am forgiven.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I can say, now, when I lay my head on the pillow at night, I think: \u201cIf this is my last day, I\u2019m going to be with Jesus. I\u2019m going to be saved, and I have a home in heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There is an image in the Bible, where it has Christ speaking: \u201cBehold, I stand at the door and knock;\u201d\u2014[Knock, knock, knock]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Exactly. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014 if anyone hears My voice and opens the door,\u201d\u2014His promise is certain\u2014He says, \u201cI will come in to him\u2026[Revelation 3:20]\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And that\u2019s what happened to you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>It did. That verse means a lot to me because Jesus was knocking on the door of my heart that day. Maybe, He\u2019s knocking on the door of someone\u2019s heart, as we\u2019re talking here today. Words are powerful; and I said those words to God: \u201cGod, I\u2019m a sinner. I accept Your love. I want to follow Jesus as my Lord and Savior.\u201d Those words changed my eternity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I want us to fast-forward\u2014and this is going to sound like kind of an abrupt change of topics here\u2014but it really isn\u2019t. It\u2019s taking that same decision that you made to be a follower of Christ\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>6:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014and it\u2019s practically applying it around one of the most dangerous parts of our body\u2014our tongues.<\/p>\n<p>You were giving a sermon at your church in New York City, and you decided to illustrate this in an unusual way. Share that story with our listeners because\u2014I think, Bob, we\u2019ve introduced a lot of broadcasts in some unusual ways\u2014this may be the most unusual.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is one of them, right here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Well, it is an unusual story\u2014and this is not my normal pattern\u2014but I had this awakening of how many times the Bible talks about your tongue. I said: \u201cI\u2019ve got to teach on this. How did I miss all of these verses?\u201d\u00a0 Of course, I\u2019d hit on them over the course of the years; but really, wanted to drill down on that.<\/p>\n<p>At that time, all of these tattoo\/piercing shops were popping up all over the city. So, I thought to illustrate this: \u201cI\u2019m going to go and buy a tongue piercing.\u201d\u00a0 Now, to be clear, I was not going to get <em>my<\/em> tongue pierced\u2014no way am I going to do that!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>There\u2019s a kit you buy for this\u2014is that how it works?<\/p>\n<p><strong>7:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Well, I think they do it for you; but before they do it, you have to pick out the size, the diameter, and the different shapes of these piercings that you can receive. I\u2019d seen it\u2014I\u2019d seen the advertisements. So, I go to a little shop\u2014for those familiar with New York, it was on St. Mark\u2019s Street, down in the Village. I proceeded to tell the lady behind the counter, \u201cI would like to buy the largest tongue piercing that you have available.\u201d\u00a0 She sized me up, from top to bottom, and said: \u201cYou\u2019re not ready for the largest. You need to start with something smaller.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I, then, explained that this was for an illustration that I wanted to do on a teaching about the power of words. We had a nice conversation. So, I purchased this\u2014about the size of your thumb\u2014piercing that, literally, you have implanted in this muscle in your mouth.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is like a spacer or something that they put in there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Oh, my dentist friends tell me this is the worst possible thing you can do to your mouth; but yes, that\u2019s exactly right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, it makes a hole\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Like a bolt.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014in your tongue the size of your thumb?!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>The portion that goes through your tongue may be slightly smaller; but the portion that you see on the top was probably the size of your thumb.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, how do you talk?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>No idea\u2014I have no personal experience with this. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, Sunday morning comes around?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Sunday morning comes around. I\u2019m teaching\u2014I share the example of how people are piercing their tongues. I made the point that you should really pierce your tongue to the cross of Jesus Christ\u2014not literally. You don\u2019t have to have a tongue piercing, per se, but imagine what it would look like, if every word came out of our mouth was filtered through the cross of Christ, and we spoke the way God would have us speak. That was part of what the book is about and different things.<\/p>\n<p>But about two weeks later, I\u2019m in my office. I receive a call from our human resources department. My credit card statement had come in for the month, and I was called into give justification\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Accountability; accountability!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>\u2014for why I would invest $35 \/ $38 in this particular shop\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>9:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014which, unbeknownst to me, had a rather unusual name that I will not share on the broadcast. [Laughter]\u00a0 Needless to say, I had to justify my actions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, that\u2019s so funny. Well, Bob quoted a passage of Scripture that\u2014it\u2019s Proverbs 18:21\u2014you write about it in your book: \u201cDeath and life are in the power of the tongue.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cAnd those who love it will eat its fruits.\u201d\u00a0 The tongue really is one of the most powerful members of our bodies because of the impact our words have on people.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes, to use language and to speak like we speak, it is almost a godlike power. You know, if you go to the very first chapter in the book of Genesis, it says that God spoke creation into existence\u2014that\u2019s how we all came about. So, this very power that God used to bring all of creation about is now the same power He gives to us. Now, we\u2019re not gods, and we don\u2019t have <em>that<\/em> kind of power in our language; but we do have the ability to speak life and to speak death.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now, in my case, when I prayed that prayer, back in the park\u2014in reading that book by Billy Graham\u2014my words \/ when I confessed, with my mouth, that Jesus is Lord\u2014that gave eternal life to me. That\u2019s pretty powerful. At the same time, day to day, when we speak, our words can bring death\u2014maybe, not physical death\u2014but death to a relationship \/ death to a career. We\u2019ve seen politicians give speeches where it brought the death of their campaign; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Then, words can bring life. I can build you up with my words. I can speak some encouragement into you\u2014speaking enthusiastically in your life to build you up \/ to give you a higher state of life. That can bring life to a marriage \/ can bring life to a relationship\u2014can bring life to a son, or daughter, or a family member.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Years ago, you [Dennis] used a different metaphor about the power of words. You talked about them as seeds that get planted in a garden.<\/p>\n<p><strong>11:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They grow something. They are either going to grow weeds, or they are going to grow vegetables \/ good fruit. And the little song goes: \u201cWhat you plant is what you grow. So, be careful what you sow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>And we remember those seeds that were planted. If we had the time\u2014we could go around, just this room today, or we could ask those listening\u2014to recall words that were spoken to them\u2014sometimes, 20 years ago, 40 years ago, 50 years ago. Those seeds were planted, and they\u2019re still bearing fruit today.<\/p>\n<p>Now, unfortunately, we often remember the negative words in our life\u2014but as we work on this, as followers of Jesus, moving away from that kind of seed to a much more positive seed\u2014words that give life. And many of us, if we are pushed, we can remember a teacher that spoke life into us\u2014perhaps, it changed the course of our career. Or we can remember a pastor who spoke life into us\u2014or even from this broadcast \/ things that have been said here, that have given life to people. Those are <em>powerful<\/em> things.<\/p>\n<p><strong>12:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me give you an illustration; okay?\u00a0 So, I was\u2014this would have been the fall of 1974. I\u2019m a freshman at the University of Tulsa. I went down to the local campus radio station because I wanted to be on the radio. I went down, and I asked if I could get a shift. They\u2014you had to pass a test, and they tried you out. They ultimately concluded that I could do the 9 pm until 1 in the morning shift every Tuesday\u2014play records and do all of that.<\/p>\n<p>First time I ever had\u2014I was so excited. I\u2019m getting four hours on the radio, playing whatever records I want to. It was\u2014nobody was listening\u2014so it was fine. [Laughter] I could play whatever I wanted to play. So, I\u2019m there, doing my shift, every Tuesday night. Well, I\u2019d been on the air, maybe, four or five times. I walked into the station one day in the daylight hours, and the station manager was in there. He said, \u201cYou\u2019re the guy doing Tuesday night; right?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhere did you work before you worked here?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cThis is my first time to do radio.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>13:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>He said, \u201cReally?!\u00a0 Well, you\u2019re doing a good job.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Wow!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I can show you the spot on the carpet where I was standing when he said that. I remember Gary Chu\u2019s words ringing in my ears. There are things like that that mark a person for life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>And think of how that has impacted you\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>\u2014all of these years. You\u2019re here in radio today\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>\u2014because he said you did a good job.<\/p>\n<p>I bet all of us, if we think about it, we can remember a teacher who said: \u201cYou are leader. You have ability.\u201d\u00a0 We can remember a pastor\u2014I remember, right after I went in ministry, a pastor came up to me, at altar time in a church, put his arm around me, and said, \u201cMake prayer the center of your ministry.\u201d\u00a0 Now, that was of the Lord. That was a life-giving word to me. I haven\u2019t always obeyed it; but I remember it and have tried to make prayer the center of my ministry\u2014the power of words.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes\u2014and positive words like you\u2019re talking about. Someone said that praise owes its value to its scarcity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>14:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think we don\u2019t spend enough time praising people, thanking people, appreciating people\u2014especially those in our immediate family. Maybe, the challenge right now, for the listener is: \u201cWhy don\u2019t you, for the rest of the day \/ the rest of the week, find ways to express appreciation to your spouse \/ to each of your children\u2014not necessarily for their performance\u2014but just for who they are and for maybe some positive quality about them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And even if the kids aren\u2019t at home with you today\u2014even if they are grown and have kids of their own\u2014you can still be planting those kinds of seeds in the lives of your children.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You can. In fact, this past weekend, I drove to Houston, Texas, to perform a wedding. I helped marry my nephew, which is still amazing that he asked me to marry him since I took him snipe hunting\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but he forgave me for that\u2014still is amazing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>15:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Anyway, we went down there and back with Barbara\u2019s mom, who is 89 years old\u2014and she does email. I just thought, at the end of the day yesterday\u2014I thought, \u201cI think I\u2019m just going to write her a note and tell her what a delight she was to travel with.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, think about being 89 years old\u2014it\u2019s seven-and-a-half hours down there and back. I wrote her a note and guess what was waiting in my inbox this morning when I came to work?\u00a0 It was a note from her. It said, \u201cIt really was fun, and you helped make it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was just an exchange of pleasant words; but I think, many times, we go through life, <em>thinking<\/em> those thoughts \/ having them\u2014some fond memories about someone\u2014but we don\u2019t express them. What you are saying in your book, \u201cGo ahead and say it.\u201d\u00a0 Find a way\u2014 either through a handwritten note, phone call, or a kind word, face to face\u2014to express appreciation to another person.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes. I don\u2019t recall if I tell this story in the book or not, but I remember sitting in a restaurant.<\/p>\n<p><strong>16:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My wife and I had been married about ten years at the time. That particular evening\u2014there were two couples\u2014in my mind, one was on the left \/ one was on the right. One represented the sheep \/ one represented the goats. We watched this one couple that had clearly been married for a long time. The whole evening, they picked at each other\u2014they were sarcastic toward one another \/ they were a bit critical of one another. Then, on the other side, there was a couple\u2014they said, \u201cThank you,\u201d they said, \u201cPlease,\u201d they had manners with one another. I remember my wife and I walking away from that restaurant, saying, \u201cWe get to choose which of those couples we\u2019re going to be.\u201d\u00a0 We had spoken vows \/ powerful words to one another\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>\u2014words that have to be remembered \/ have to be restated. I talk in the book about stating your vows over and over to your spouse; but to make the decision that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to continue to be gracious, to say, \u2018Thank you,\u2019 to be nice to those that are closest to us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>17:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Why is it?\u2014that it\u2019s those that we\u2019re closest to\u2014we sometimes take for granted the most?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and you point out in your book that the reason that this is a challenge has less to do with the mucous membrane in our mouths and more to do with the heart it\u2019s connected to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes. Jesus said that so profoundly in Matthew 15\u2014He says, \u201cThe words you speak come from the heart.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a challenging statement because, if my words are more negative than positive, what does that say about my heart?\u00a0 When I get my heart right, and then from that heart flows these powerful words.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We used go on vacations, as a family\u2014this was back when our kids were preteens and teenagers. Sometimes\u2014and I don\u2019t know if it was a genetic disorder tied to me\u2014but our kids would just gripe and complain. Finally, Barbara and I would have enough of it. We would get a jar\u2014we would set it on the dashboard of\u2014I forget what kind of vehicle we had for six kids, but it was a big one\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>18:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014and we would set that jar of quarters on the dashboard. We would say: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 When we get to the location, we\u2019re going to take the remaining quarters that are left in the jar, and we\u2019re going to get ice cream.\u201d\u00a0 Bob knows that\u2019s the biblically-approved way to celebrate good behavior. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, when we were driving down the road, and when there was bickering between them\u2014snipey comments, critical griping\/complaining: \u201cWhen are we going to get there?\u00a0 How long?\u00a0 I need to do this. I need to do that,\u201d\u2014we\u2019d take a quarter. Then, there would be: \u201cOh! I can\u2019t believe he took a quarter!\u201d\u2014I\u2019d take another one. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>He\u2019s tough.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So\u2014oh, yes, I was tough. I want you to know it didn\u2019t take many miles before the disappearing quarters stopped. [Laughter] I mean, we know what we\u2019re doing; but we get in habits and we need leadership. We need someone to instruct them, and that\u2019s what you\u2019ve done in the book. You\u2019re instructing us about what to do with our words.<\/p>\n<p><strong>19:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes, the big idea I\u2019m trying to make in the book is that there is a stewardship responsibility to our words. Just as we would be a steward of other aspects of our life\u2014whether it\u2019s our time, our talent, our treasure, as we often teach in the church\u2014there is a stewardship responsibility toward our tongue.<\/p>\n<p>And what you were talking about there is breaking a behavioral pattern that the world instills in us, almost from day one. If that is a pattern that has been instilled by the world\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I appreciate you blaming the world on it. That\u2019s good. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>It certainly wasn\u2019t parents; right? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t my DNA.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 No\u2014not at all!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>I also wanted to say, \u201cToday, I don\u2019t know if you could do that because they would just text the criticism back and forth on their phones.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes. You\u2019d have to have an inspection of the phone at that point.<\/p>\n<p>You use a four-word phrase at the beginning of your book that just talks about the power of four words and the life they can give.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes. Probably the most powerful four words in the English language are the words:<\/p>\n<p><strong>20:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cOnce upon a time\u2026\u201d\u00a0 If I said that appropriately, or you said it appropriately, in everybody\u2019s mind, right now, we went back to that childlike state of hearing stories. You know, we are a story-driven culture. Jesus spoke in parables\u2014connected with that. So, we think about the power of those four words\u2014\u201cOnce upon a time,\u201d\u2014and what a magical place that can take us to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Takes us to Disneyland\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nelson: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. Really\u2014Disney World, where you had great childhood memories. They were fueled by, hopefully, good words \/ pleasant words between family members instead of the negative words and the disappearing quarters from the jar on the dashboard.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, I think the point you\u2019re making here is that there is more in our words than we give our words credit for. We need to be more intentional, more purposeful, have a better understanding; but also recognize, as you said, that our tongue is connected to our heart.<\/p>\n<p><strong>21:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If the wrong words are coming out, it tells us something about the condition of our heart.<\/p>\n<p>This is a great book for helping diagnose our hearts. It\u2019s a book called <em>Tongue Pierced<\/em>, and it\u2019s by Nelson Searcy. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for information about the book, <em>Tongue Pierced: How the Words You Speak Transform the Life You Live<\/em>. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also order a copy of the book by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Let me also mention\u2014we have a study guide that we\u2019ve designed for couples to go through together with other couples called <em>Improving Communication in Your Marriage<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>22:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2014and another one called <em>Building Up Your Spouse<\/em>. You may want to get together some other couples and address this issue in community by going through one of our <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>Connect studies\u2014either the <em>Improving Communication in Your Marriage<\/em> study or the <em>Building Up Your Spouse<\/em> study. Find out more, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, I think all of us can understand, at a gut level, how powerful words are because all of us can think of hurtful words that have been said to us in the past or words of praise that gave life to us in the past. One of the things we try to do, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, is to remind you, every day, that your words matter, your actions matter, and the choices you\u2019re making in your marriage and your family\u2014it all matters for you and for future generations.<\/p>\n<p><strong>23:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Our goal here is to daily provide you with practical biblical guidance \/ help and hope to help strengthen your marriage and your family.<\/p>\n<p>And we\u2019re grateful that many of you partner with us to help make this happen\u2014either as Legacy Partners or as folks who contribute occasionally to this ministry. It\u2019s always good to hear from a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and we\u2019re grateful for your support.<\/p>\n<p>If you can make a donation, right now, we\u2019d like to express our thanks by sending you a resource that Barbara Rainey has developed called \u201cUntie Your Story.\u201d\u00a0 The goal of this resource is to help equip you \/ make it easier for you to have dinnertime conversations that go deeper than normal. You can use this for holiday meals, or you can use it at the family dinner table any evening. It\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation in support of this ministry.<\/p>\n<p>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI care,\u201d to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make your donation over the phone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>24:00<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about cussing\/cursing. So, if that\u2019s an issue for you or for one of your kids, you might want to tune in. I hope you can be back with us.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303722","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303722"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303722"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303722"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303722"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303722"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303722"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303722"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}