{"id":303700,"date":"2015-10-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-10-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/technology-and-our-core-needs\/"},"modified":"2015-10-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-10-13T15:00:00","slug":"technology-and-our-core-needs","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/technology-and-our-core-needs\/","title":{"rendered":"Technology and Our Core Needs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our kids are getting more than just information when they turn on their computer screens. Dr. Kathy Koch, author of &#8220;Screens and Teens&#8221; talks about the five emotional needs of teens-security, for example-and explains how technology is affecting and fulfilling those needs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Kathy Koch, author of &#8220;Screens and Teens&#8221; talks about the emotional needs of teens, and explains how technology is affecting and fulfilling those needs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.31M","filesize_raw":"24447287","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,10350],"tags":[4292,5831,5832,2209,5673,4483,5828],"podcast_series":[8104],"cwp_profile":[3534],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303700","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-digital-and-media-choices","tag-children","tag-how-technology-affects-us","tag-impact-of-technology","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-tips","tag-screen-time","tag-screen-time-limits","podcast_series-screens-and-teens","cwp_profile-kathy-koch","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303700\/technology-and-our-core-needs","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303700\/technology-and-our-core-needs","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5Psen167my\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/technology-and-our-core-needs\/\">Technology and Our Core Needs<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/technology-and-our-core-needs\/embed\/#?secret=5Psen167my\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Technology and Our Core Needs&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5Psen167my\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dr. Kathy Koch, author of \"Screens and Teens\" talks about the emotional needs of teens, and explains how technology is affecting and fulfilling those needs.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Author and speaker, Kathy Koch, has some pretty strong words for parents of teenagers, especially if your kids have cell phones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> They should not be sleeping with their cell phone. They need to get an alarm clock\u2014they don\u2019t need their phone in their room. It needs to be on a charging station that mom and dad control. No pads of any type \/ no rectangle\u2014no glowing rectangle in the bedroom at night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think parents need it either\u2014that\u2019s where there\u2019s hypocrisy, potentially. Again, I understand parents are different; but we\u2019ve got to be really careful in how we present that to our kids so that we don\u2019t give them an excuse to debate with us about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>for Tuesday, October 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. If you have a teenager listening with you, and he or she has not yet turned off the radio because they don\u2019t want you to hear what we have to talk about today, keep listening. We have a lot to talk about\u2014teens and tech straight ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Thanks for joining us. I\u2019m a little conflicted here in what we\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s not surprising. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When we look at the reality of how our world is shaped by technology today, we have to acknowledge we are reaping some <em>huge<\/em> benefits from the technology that connects us. I\u2019m here to say, \u201cIt\u2019s a good thing, and I like it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is a good thing when it\u2019s used right. It can be a challenging thing when our teenagers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014get their hands on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014\u2014and our young people get their hands on it. Dr. Kathy Koch is joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> to help equip parents to better know how to\u2014well, guide their children and help raise them to adulthood without getting too deeply wounded by technology. Welcome back, Kathy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> I\u2019m so glad to be here. Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: She has written a book called <em>Screens and Teens<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> See, it\u2019s not for me because I\u2019m not a teen anymore. So I can handle it. Let\u2019s just talk about the kids and how we deal with them; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Kids are connected to parents though, Bob. You may be, for the most part, done as a parent; but there are a lot of listeners who aren\u2019t done yet. Kathy\u2019s book is subtitled: <em>Connecting with Our Kids in a Wireless World<\/em>. She is the founder and president of Celebrate Kids and lives in Fort Worth, Texas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTell our listeners a little bit about Celebrate Kids. What does that ministry do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> We are passionate to help parents raise the children they were given and not the children they wish they had. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis and Bob:<\/strong> [Laughing]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> It makes a difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There were days when we thought about trading them in\u2014no doubt about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> We\u2019re passionate to help parents and teachers know their children and raise them up to be ambassadors for Christ and to glorify Him through who they become and what they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do teacher programs, and parent programs, and work with kids of all ages in school, and church, and convention programs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not a Luddite?\u2014you have a smartphone; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Yes, I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You have Internet access at home; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What did you just call her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A Luddite\u2014are you familiar? Luddites are people who want typewriters in their home\u2014they don\u2019t want any technological change whatsoever. I mean, they want typewriters instead of computers, not in addition to computers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They want to function in the ways of the old world, and they don\u2019t want any progress. You\u2019re not one of those people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Absolutely <em>not<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m all about technology. I\u2019m very grateful for the auto-correct key on my word-processing program. I\u2019m very grateful for that, if I get home and my Internet\u2019s gone out, I can unplug it, wait 20 seconds, plug it back in, and it magically fixes itself\u2014I\u2019m amazed. I think pausing live TV is miraculous\u2014and I like it! I\u2019m not opposed to any of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019m concerned about is the character qualities that I\u2019m seeing in our young people and the things I\u2019m seeing them believe that has been caused by the amount of technology they are using.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk about some of the core spiritual and emotional needs that all of us have, growing up, and how technology is influencing that with children. Explain what you mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> I\u2019d love to. Security is the first core need we have. It should be met through people who are trustworthy\u2014certainly God\u2014and then trustworthy people that we surround ourselves with. Unfortunately, this tech-generation is having their security met by the speed of the Internet or by the score on the game that they played last night. They\u2019ve bought the lie that security is in their performance, related to the technology that they are using. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIdentity: \u201cWho am I?\u201d Well, they\u2019re not connecting with their parents as well as we were connected. They\u2019re not listening to their parents telling them they are bright, and creative, and beautiful, and outgoing, and generous, and kind, and thoughtful. Instead, they may be listening to somebody on Twitter that said that their generation was lost; and they believe that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s where a parent\u2014I just want moms and dads to listen up, at this point\u2014help your child understand what it means to be uniquely a boy and not a girl \/ and what it means to be a girl and not a boy because, if they\u2019re not getting those signals from you, that means they are wide open to get the signals from Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, which is going to give them this list of 60 bizarre \/ I mean, really bizarre choices of different sexual identities that they can begin to self-identify, along with their peers. The peers are going to win if the parents don\u2019t provide the plumb line.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Can I camp there for just a second?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> One of the things that is true of those of us, who are older, is we have beliefs that cause relationships. We knew when we were being raised \/ we still know our beliefs, and our beliefs drive our relationships. So the people whom we hang with, people whom we hire, the people whom we interact with and network with are going to be like-minded people. It doesn\u2019t mean that I don\u2019t have friends outside of my faith; but it does mean the people whom I connect with, at a deep level, and the people whom I hire are going to be believers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis younger generation has what we call \u201crelationship-based beliefs\u201d\u2014they <em>relate<\/em> and, therefore, they believe. That\u2019s because relationships have become so important to them because it\u2019s collecting the number of people they have in their sphere of influence. If you want to influence your children\u2019s belief systems, we have to be considered, by them, to have a relationship with them, which means moms and dads have <em>got<\/em> to stay connected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What you\u2019re saying is: \u201cWhen it comes to security and identity\u2014two of the needs you\u2019ve talked about\u2014mom and dad should be more important in influencing a child\u2019s sense of being safe and the child\u2019s sense of who he or she is\u2014more important than technology is.\u201d There\u2019s a concern today that mom and dad are less important than ever and that technology has taken over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Exactly. That\u2019s why the subtitle of the book is: <em>Connecting with Our Kids<\/em>. How do we have those kinds of conversations? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we keep the relationship healthy, even when there\u2019s a storm within the home?\u2014 which is going to happen, even in great families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You talk about issues like belonging or purpose: \u201cWhat am I good at?\u201d \u201cWhat am I here for?\u201d \u201c\u2026competence.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> These are the kinds of things that, again, a child is either going to find out answers to these issues from what mom, and dad, and the home provide; or they\u2019re going to get it from some other place. Now, technology has breached the wall as it were\u2014it\u2019s come over the walls of the embassy and said, \u201cHere, we\u2019re here with solutions to everything you\u2019re facing.\u201d Teens are going, \u201cI like your answers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Very good point. And it\u2019s not, again, that we\u2019re opposed to technology. I want the family to have belonging met in the family unit; <em>and<\/em> I want healthy technological relationships, if you will. It\u2019s okay to follow bands on You Tube<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. It\u2019s okay to know of a speaker at a church in another country that you want to watch on the Internet because his sermons are great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose are <em>great<\/em> belonging connections that can enhance our identity, and our security, and even our purpose and our competence\u2014we\u2019re not opposed to it; but it\u2018s in addition to the family being first, not instead of the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> When I taught my sixth-grade Sunday school class, I just pounded this verse with these preteens\u2014it\u2019s 1 Corinthians, Chapter 15\u2014I believe it\u2019s verse 33: \u201cBad company corrupts good morals.\u201d I think what parents just need to understand is: \u201cYour child is a click away from bad company\u2014and not just bad company\u2014but evil company \/ tremendous forces to take your child away from your family. If you don\u2019t take the high ground with your child \/ if you\u2019re not proactively teaching your child the Bible, and how to view life, and how to be wise and not be a fool, then they\u2019re going to be susceptible to the fools who are out there, on the Internet\u2014they are out there, trust me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The bad company has lined the Internet highways. As your child navigates, the bad company is holding up signs, saying, \u201cHey come check us out!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cOver here! Over here!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Unless you\u2019re cultivating character in a child and unless you\u2019re helping to shepherd that path along the Internet highway, that child\u2019s going to be pulled aside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And help them understand the difference between a fool and a wise person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Exactly because, if we\u2019re open to them coming to us, then we are the wisdom; and we model for them discernment. That will prevent them\u2014hopefully \/ at least, in part\u2014from gravitating toward the fools that are trolling out there for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I keep thinking about this passage\u2014so I\u2019m going to mention it because this really kind of captures the Internet. It\u2019s a Proverb that says, \u201cA man of many friends comes to ruin [Proverbs 18:24].\u201d What can happen on the Internet is\u2014you can have a lot of surface relationships with people that you can\u2019t possibly know what their worldview is and how they\u2019re coming at life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTeenagers\u2014they just don\u2019t have the emotional\/the spiritual maturity <em>or<\/em> the discernment to know how to choose who they really do go deep with, in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> That\u2019s so true. Unfortunately, another reality about the Internet and technology, in general, is that they may not want to go deep with anyone. They might be very satisfied with themselves\u2014they can be their own authority \/ they\u2019re satisfied with information\u2014they don\u2019t crave wisdom. Many of them, unfortunately, have learned to treat people superficially because of texting and social media. Even young children, who aren\u2019t on social media, pick up clues from us in how quickly we disengage in conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my biggest concerns\u2014and one of my biggest motivations for writing the book is\u2014I don\u2019t want to treat God like that. I\u2019m very concerned that they begin typing a status update for God, and then go, \u201cOh, He won\u2019t like that,\u201d\u2014delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So speak to the parent, Kathy, who is listening to us right now. That mom \/ that dad is thinking: \u201cI don\u2019t know. I wonder, \u2018Could it be that my child has an addiction to the Internet \/ to social media?\u2019\u201d What are the signs that would give warning to a parent if they are seeing them occur in their children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re really doing this for parents, not for me; right? You didn\u2019t ask the question\u2014\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was not asking for you Bob, but we could\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If the shoe fits? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit, not from Dennis Rainey; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thank you. Thank you. We\u2019ve had a couple of profound moments here\u2014there\u2019s no doubt about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> I may never be invited back, but we\u2019ll see. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the first thing you do in the morning is check your Facebook feed, you\u2019re addicted. You\u2019re not that important to think that something happened in eight hours that you have to check up on. You know: \u201cWhat did my friends do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat post did I not get to \u2018like\u2019 because I was sleeping?\u201d and \u201cIf I don\u2019t like them, they\u2019re going to think that I wasn\u2019t engaged; and how horrible that will be.\u201d Adults have to be really careful of that. I\u2019m not saying that we don\u2019t necessarily wake up and <em>need<\/em> to check email\u2014there are \/ some of us have corporate executive things or family connections and there\u2019s a <em>need<\/em> to\u2014but there\u2019s a <em>want<\/em> to which then interferes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we take it away\u2014and they are argumentative, and angry, and throw a fit\u2014there\u2019s an addiction probably going on there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have a friend, who\u2019s a principal, who told me one of the most dangerous times in the life of the teens that go to his school is between the hours of 11 and 1 am. He says there are a lot of kids, online; and there\u2019s sexting \/ there\u2019s bullying\u2014there\u2019s all kinds of chatter taking place that is unhealthy. Comment on that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Most definitely. A lot of kids who game on online games are playing at night because there are kids on their team who live in another time zone. They are required to play, sometimes, in the middle of the night so that those kids can play in the middle of the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParents don\u2019t know that. They should not be sleeping with their cell phone. They need to get an alarm clock\u2014they don\u2019t need their phone in their room. It needs to be on a charging station that mom and dad control. No pads of any type \/ no rectangle\u2014no glowing rectangle in the bedroom at night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think parents need it either\u2014that\u2019s where there\u2019s hypocrisy, potentially. Again, I understand parents are different; but we\u2019ve got to be really careful in how we present that to our kids so that we don\u2019t give them an excuse to debate with us about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo take away the phone, take away the iPad, and take away the laptop. If they have a homework assignment, guess what? They do it in the den. They don\u2019t do it in their bedroom, where we\u2019re not supervising them. They should not have a glowing rectangle out of our sight often.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Parents ought to take that device and maybe do a little past-history checkup to see where their children have been and when their children have been using the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Not maybe, most definitely. I totally do agree with that. Here\u2019s what I have to say about that because kids will say, \u201cOh Dr. Kathy, that\u2019s an invasion of my privacy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like: \u201cGood! Praise God you have a parent who loves you enough to be concerned with the state of your heart and your mind. You are so blessed, because I\u2019ve been to places in the world where kids didn\u2019t have <em>anybody<\/em> who cares. You have somebody who cares enough about you to put up with your anger? You are blessed! Now, go sit down.\u201d The kids kind of laugh, but they get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ten years ago, we would say to parents, \u201cYou should have the computer out in the family room.\u201d In those days, the computer was big enough that it had to be in one place in the house. How things have changed because nobody has a desktop anymore\u2014everybody has laptops\u2014it\u2019s all portable \/ you take it where you\u2019re going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven if you leave the laptops out on the kitchen table, there\u2019s still as you said, the glowing rectangle\u2014whether that\u2019s the tablet or the phone. You\u2019re saying: \u201cAt bedtime\u2014at nighttime \/ at ten or eleven o\u2019clock\u2014you put all that stuff out in public, and you go to your bedroom, and you\u2019re away from it\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I recommend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s research that says all of us\u2014even adults\u2014sleep better if, in the last hour, we\u2019re not staring at a screen because they mess with our eye, and our visual field, and the sleep patterns of the brain. This is the most sleep-deprived generation in the history of America. It\u2019s partly because they are very busy; and they\u2019re not using their time wisely because they are multitasking, and using tech to play games and do things that are irrelevant, maybe, to their schooling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Okay. Talk about other boundaries that you might put in place for a child that you fear is addicted? Would you take the phone away, the iPad, the computer for a period of time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> \u201cFor a period of time\u201d\u2014that\u2019s a great recommendation because I wouldn\u2019t do it long-term because they need to learn how to use it with responsibility. You can take back the screen, and you can take back your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Absolutely, there\u2019s no reason not to. You\u2019ll have to deal with pushback \/ you\u2019ll have to be a strong enough parent to handle their anger, but you\u2019ve got to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The United Nations may come on behalf of your child and say, \u201cYou\u2019re a terrible parent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Oh my goodness! \u201cBe a parent.\u201d I actually am brave enough in my book several times to say: \u201cBe a parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLearn to say, \u2018No,\u2019 and learn to say, \u2018Yes,\u2019 appropriately.\u201d Many kids, by the way, have said, \u201cThank you, Dr Kathy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay. I\u2019m just telling our listeners: \u201cDon\u2019t turn the radio off because of what she just said\u2014just stay with us\u201d; alright? Here\u2019s the warning though\u2014it has been proven in research that addictions developed by teens, as they are growing up, make them more susceptible\u2014some believe that 90 percent of all addictions are developed, somehow, back to the teen years. What\u2019s the warning that parents need to hear about feeding this beast and allowing their children to do what they want to do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Man, you just said it so well. When the addiction channels in the brain are awakened, they will need to be fed. If we allow them to be addicted to gaming \/ to social media, then even if we take the phone away and even if they develop a habit to game less because they are going to go to college and they want to be a little bit more serious\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014those channels have been awakened. Something else is going to fill it\u2014it\u2019s going to be an illegal drug or an over-the-counter drug, it\u2019ll be a sexual addiction \/ it could be an alcohol addiction\u2014that\u2019s so dangerous. What we do today <em>matters<\/em> for tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, I totally agree with you. I think a lot of parents are agreeing with us as well. But here\u2019s what we miss sometimes\u2014our kids secretly may be agreeing too. Don\u2019t miss the opportunity\u2014your child is listening right now. He may go, \u201cOh I don\u2019t like this at <em>all<\/em>\u201d; but, in reality, he may <em>really<\/em> like it. You tell a story about a ten-year-old\u2014is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Yes, I think he was nine or ten. I recommended to his parents that they choose one or two days a week to be free of all technology\u2014I said, \u201cPlug it in if you need it to cook by or see by,\u201d\u2014so the oven, the stove, and the light was all that I was recommending.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No TV, no Internet, no radio, no nothing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kathy:<\/strong> Exactly\u2014one day during the week and one day during the weekend because the quiet is good \/ the rest is good, and the connection is more likely to occur. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese parents picked up their nine-year-old and their four-year-old from day care after they heard me speak. They were walking out to the car and they explained to their children what they were going to do because of me. They said, \u201cYou\u2019re old enough, son\u2014you choose the days.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, he wisely chose Wednesday and Sunday because they\u2019re in church a lot anyways. He\u2019s thinking, \u201cYou know, this will be okay.\u201d Well, a week-and-a-half later\u2014so only after a Wednesday, Sunday, Wednesday\u2014he comes up to me in the lobby at the church\u2014makes a beeline for me: \u201cAre you the lady?!\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat lady?\u201d \u201cAre you the lady that made us turn it all off?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m thinking: \u201cOh no. He\u2019s not going to be happy with me, and I don\u2019t know if I want to tell the truth; I am like, \u2018Yes, I\u2019m Dr. Kathy; and I was the one.\u2019\u201d Then he looked up at me and said: \u201cThank you. I got my Daddy back.\u201d I watched the mom and the dad\u2014that were leaning against the wall over here\u2014and they both had tears in their eyes. He said to me: \u201cMy daddy\u2014he took me to the park, and we played catch. My daddy\u2014he taught me how to play checkers on a checker board that\u2019s real. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnd because you said we could turn the oven on, my mom\u2014she let me help her make chocolate chip cookies, and they were <em>really<\/em> <em>good<\/em>. I got my daddy back.\u201d When I made that recommendation, I did it for the sake of the children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn reality, the little boy skipped off down to children\u2019s church\u2014his parents came up to me. The man looked at me and said: \u201cKathy, I did not know how disengaged with my family I had become until I heard you speak. And now\u2014I used to come home from work, and I would just want to check the bank account, but then I would go to espn.go.com, then I\u2019d go to FoxNews.com, and then I\u2019d go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Before I knew it, I was not helping my wife prepare the meal \/ I was not alert to my children when they were awake. Now, because of you, I do all of that when they are in bed. Even on the days that are not tech-free, we don\u2019t use it as much because we\u2019ve rediscovered the joy of each other\u2019s company.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m so grateful that I get to do what I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m so <em>grateful<\/em> for those parents to believe me to try something for the sake of their kids that ended up benefiting them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Parents today need your voice to really help them have courage to fight against what is really the swift current of the culture. Colossians, Chapter 3, verse 20 says, \u201cChildren, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord.\u201d That assumes\u2014that passage assumes the parents have given commands, directives, boundaries\u2014that they\u2019ve taught and that they are calling the children to action. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just want to close the broadcast by saying to you, as a parent: \u201cBe the parent. Don\u2019t let the child become the authority. You are the parent \/ they are the child\u2014they need you desperately. This is not a time to go AWOL.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is a good time for you to be on the same page\u2014that you\u2019re communicating with the same values and the same standards. It is definitely a good time for the two of you to make sure that, when it comes to technology, you\u2019ve got some guidelines in place \/ some house rules for how technology is going to be handled at your home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s where Kathy Koch\u2019s book comes in\u2014it\u2019s called <em>Screens and Teens<\/em>. We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You can get a copy of Kathy\u2019s book\u2014again, it\u2019s called <em>Screens and Teens<\/em>. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Request a copy of the book when you get in touch with us. Again, the toll-free number is 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201dF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Or find us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the issues we\u2019ve talked about today\u2014when our oldest child was going through the teen years, most of this was not a factor. I remember we had one big box computer, down in the living room, and that was about it. People were just starting to do instant messaging, and there were chat rooms online. I mean, there were technology issues back then; but not like there are today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe truth is that our world is changing. Parents need ongoing help and hope for how to raise their kids \/ what kind of strategies to employ\u2014that\u2019s what we\u2019re here for, at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We want to provide you with consistent, practical biblical help for your marriage and for your family so that, no matter how much the culture changes, you\u2019re still being guided by the unchanging truth of God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who make this radio program possible. You help by underwriting the cost of producing and syndicating this daily program. Whether you are someone who makes a donation occasionally or you\u2019re one of our regular monthly Legacy Partners\u2014in either case, we are grateful for your participation with this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d like to express our gratitude today when you make a donation by sending you Barbara Rainey\u2019s latest resource called \u201cUntie Your Story.\u201d This is a tool that she\u2019s put together to help promote conversation around the dinner table\u2014either at holidays or, just if you have a family meal, and you\u2019d like to have a little meaningful conversation. You can use these napkin ties that have questions on them, and then everybody engages with the question. You have a little more in-depth conversation than, \u201cHow was your day?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is our thank-you gift. When you make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d to make your online donation. Or call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to continue to talk about parenting, and technology, and standards, and all of the things we\u2019ve been exploring this week. Dr. Kathy Koch will be back with us. Hope you can be here as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you to our engineer, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303700"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303700"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303700"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303700"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}