{"id":303686,"date":"2015-10-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-10-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/money-and-your-mate\/"},"modified":"2015-10-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-10-02T15:00:00","slug":"money-and-your-mate","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/money-and-your-mate\/","title":{"rendered":"Money and Your Mate"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Should you handle your money any differently now that you&#8217;re married? Tommy Nelson, pastor of Denton Bible Church, gives couples advice about handling money after marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-02.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"37.77M","filesize_raw":"39606562","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2807,2851],"tags":[4525,2877],"podcast_series":[7860],"cwp_profile":[8887],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303686","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","category-finances","tag-finances","tag-marriage","podcast_series-in-laws-mates-and-money","cwp_profile-tom-nelson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303686\/money-and-your-mate","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303686\/money-and-your-mate","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Nclb1aWfq6\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/money-and-your-mate\/\">Money and Your Mate<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/money-and-your-mate\/embed\/#?secret=Nclb1aWfq6\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Money and Your Mate&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Nclb1aWfq6\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you remember the <em>best <\/em>advice or the best practices that you and Barbara began to employ around the subject of money, when you were first married? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I don't remember a specific piece of advice; but I do remember that I treated the money as <em>our<\/em> money, not <em>my <\/em>money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that was important because, as we got married, Barbara was used to having her money, and I was used to having my money. That's usually not a problem for the guy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because he just kind of takes over; you know? But I remember thinking, \"She really needs to be able to have some of her own money to be able to do with as she sees fit, but we need to treat this as our money.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was an accountability that we kind of had to learn and to grow into as we started out our marriage, where I realized I just couldn't go spend as I pleased. I had said, \u201cNo,\u201d to the single life and to living life on <em>my<\/em> own and doing things as <em>I <\/em>pleased. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd taken a wife, and that meant that I needed to think about pleasing her and needed to, as a couple, pull in the same direction and make decisions around the same set of values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that's actually the first piece of advice that Tommy gives as he spoke to his congregation, on this subject, several months ago. This is from a message on marriage and money from Pastor Tommy Nelson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Money is kind of a mine that goes off in marriage. The problems with money are problems that kind of fester down there. They form a lack of trust and a lack of the feeling of being respected and nurtured. Out of that grow great problems and alienation in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrust me on this\u2014these are not merely biblical principles. When I look at these, there is a particular face that I see behind each of them. There has been a historical conflict that we've had in one of our studies \/ in one of our counseling sessions with people that have violated these.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 1 Principle of Money\u2014well, this isn't a study on money\u2014it is a study on <em>mates<\/em> and money. The number one issue of mates and money is that it is not\u2014with my wife and me\u2014it's not <em>my<\/em> money \/ it's <em>our<\/em> money. My wife doesn't make money in the sense of having a job that makes money, but that makes no difference. The two become one flesh. The money that you men make is not <em>your <\/em>money. It's <em>ya'll's<\/em> money. [Laughter] A lot of times, a woman may have a career that out-earns her husband nowadays. Madam, it is not your money\u2014it is <em>ya'll's<\/em> money. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis statement, whenever I hear it in marriage, problems are on the way\u2014it goes like this: \u201cI pay the bills around here,\" or \"I make the money.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThat's why I can't be challenged\u201d\u2014is the assumption\u2014\u201con how I spend it.\u201d Like I say, my wife doesn't make money, but my wife can spend the money however she sees fit on the maintenance and the care of our home because it's our money. The two are one\u2014physically, financially, in all ways, emotionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 2: Even though it's <em>our<\/em> money, you check with your mate before you make a <em>major <\/em>expenditure\u2014underline the word, \"major.\" There is a sense in which you have the freedom to do what you need to do in certain areas\u2014and that's Number 3\u2014but on Number 2, you check with your mate, especially when you are about to put yourself in debt through a credit card.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn a major expenditure, you always check with your wife or your husband. You don't want to surprise your mate in the area of money. You don't want the credit company or the bank surprising your mate with what you did that you didn't tell them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a woman say to me one time\u2014I'll never forget this \/ I can just quote it to you verbatim\u2014she said, \"He will not give me the freedom to buy a $14 dress pattern, but he will come home with $800 in tires. Somehow, that's okay for him to do that; but it's not okay for me.\" So, you always check with your mate when you make a major expenditure\u2014guys as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 3: A woman needs the freedom to run a home. There is a certain margin that a woman has to spend independently for the maintenance of that house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to give my wife the freedom to be what Paul calls her\u2014the <em>oikodespotes<\/em>\u2014the house despot. What a word! [Laughter] My wife has to have a sense of leeway. When I take care of the mowers and all the stuff that guys do\u2014Tom the Tool Man\u2014I've got to have a sense of freedom to maintain all of those things that are my responsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a woman one time\u2014this is a fact\u2014she came in, saying, \"Whenever I have to buy,\"\u2014and she mentioned a piece of lingerie\u2014she said: \"When I have to buy this, my husband drops me off at the mall. I go inside and get the exact figure, plus tax, to the penny. I come out and give it to him. He gives me the exact change, to the penny. I go inside and pay for it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the man that she was saying that about did not feel that he was being demeaning to that woman. He felt he was being <em>holy<\/em>. I said to him, \"No, you're what's called <em>dumb<\/em>.\"\u00a0 [Laughter] \u201cYou're <em>dumb <\/em>because, in your seeking to control, you are treating your wife like a child! Whatever you think you're gaining, you are <em>losing<\/em> the affinity of your wife for you. If she's not that trustworthy, you shouldn't have married her. You trust her with things.\u201d But he thought he was some kind of frugal, smart husband. Well, you have to give your mate that kind of freedom to do what she\/he needs to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA woman\u2014Number 4\u2014<em>can<\/em> have <em>her <\/em>money. Proverbs 31: \"She considers a field from her earnings, and she buys it.\" Fellas, that woman of Proverbs 31\u2014if you'll excuse the term \/ you're not supposed to use it in evangelicalism\u2014but you'll find she is an extremely independent and liberated woman. She sells belts to the tradesmen. She considers a field from her earnings, and she buys it. As long as it has consent and is not breaching the husband's place, it's good to let a woman do what she would like to do with <em>ya'll's<\/em> money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 5: Decide who does the books in your family. It may not be the man \/ it may not be the wage-earner. In my family, my wife does the books. She does a wonderful job, and I let her do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me give you a bit of guidance on this. If you're the one who does the books, you have to do them well. You can't mess up in the area of finances and where your money is going. You have to do it well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, number two, if your mate is the one who does the books, then you, in a sense, have to submit yourself to what works best for her. My wife does the books. In that area of life, I have to be, in a sense, submissive to what works best for her. If she needs me to bring in certain receipts and whatever, then I have to go by what she thinks is right. I can't use my position to usurp her. Fellas, if you have your wife keep the finances, then, you have to be acquiescent and make sure that it's easy for her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, ladies, if your husband keeps the finances, then you, especially in that area, have to make life easy for him to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 6: Debt distracts. Debt\u2014not just debt \/ but credit cards\u2014the whole essence of debt is that you have what you haven't earned. Now, you obligate yourself, in the future, to pay that person back. That's what the root word of credit is\u2014<em>credo<\/em>\u2014that means, \"I believe,\"\u2014\u201cThey believe, and they trust me, that I will pay them back.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible says that the borrower is the lender's slave. Stay out of debt all that you can because, when you take debt, you give up an equal amount of freedom. There are certain things that you can't do anymore because you are obligated, in future days, to pay back that money. The Bible tells you to pay what you owe them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDebt is like a pet anaconda. Anacondas are very pretty\u2014they really are. But when you have one, as a pet, and you begin to feed him, he gets bigger, and he wraps around you\u2014it can now crush the life out of you. The Bible allows for debt, but not debt that you don't pay. You have to keep up with your debt. When you go into debt, you have now obligated yourself for future days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 7: First things first. There are rules of where your money goes that you need to understand. Are you all familiar with where the Bible says the first fruits of your income go? Proverbs: \u201cHonor the Lord with the first of your income, and He will cause your vats to overflow and your barns to be filled [Proverbs 3:9].\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am <em>amazed<\/em> how God uses money to make us honor Him. That's why it is said that your treasure is where your heart is. You can talk all you want to about spirituality, but if it doesn't get into your lifeblood\u2014which is your money that keeps you alive \/ that keeps stuff on your table\u2014your religion is just an intellectual or a doctrinal issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Campus Crusade<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> guy told me, early in my marriage\u2014I'm so glad he did\u2014he said, \"Whatever you make, you honor God right off the top.\" My wife and I began doing that\u2014if we had $10, we'd honor God with a buck. God has <em>always<\/em> taken care of us: \u201cGod is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having a sufficiency, you'll have abundance for every good deed [2 Cor. 9:8].\u201d \u201cHe who sows abundantly shall reap abundantly [2 Cor. 9:6].\u201d God has always taken care of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, right off the top, you honor God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter you do that, you always pay what you owe\u2014you pay your bills. Then, right after that, you pay you\u2014and the idea of a savings: \u201cMuch wine and delight is in the house of the righteous, but the wicked swallows it up [Proverbs 21:20].\u201d Wicked people spend quickly anything that they get, quite often.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo honor God with your first fruits, then pay your bills, set aside some for savings, and the rest\u2014enjoy it and use it. Have fun with it! When you'll make rules where your money goes, as a priority, the budgeting process takes care of itself. Once you honor God, Caesar, and the future, now you can enjoy today with the money that's allotted to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you won't go into debt, you can actually make it through life without a lot of financial problems. I'll be honest with you\u2014my wife and I don't have, really, a budget \/ we have a recognition of where we are\u2014but we honor God, pay our bills, and then we set some aside. Then, the rest of it\u2014Rocky Road, skiing, crunchy peanut butter\u2014see? You <em>enjoy<\/em> it\u2014and incidentally\u2014both have to be onboard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what do I mean? Whenever I do women's Q&amp;As, one of the major questions that is asked is: \"Tom, my husband doesn't give to the Lord's work. What should I do?\"\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014meaning, \"Should I \/ do I have to usurp my husband and take over the reins of our home?\" My answer always is: \"Our church doesn't need your money, but you need to be obedient.\u00a0 Don't make your husband give\u2014let God fix him.\" God can. God can fix him real quickly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, fellas\u2014and if the shoe fits on this, you wear it. I hope that your wife is not put in a continual place of not seeing the blessing of God because of the lack of leadership and trust of a materialistic and self-willed husband.\u00a0 You honor God and lead your family\u2014so both have to be onboard with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that is Pastor Tom Nelson. We've been calling him \"Tommy\" this week. He's Tom now\u2014Pastor Tom Nelson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Is he really Tom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That's what it said on the CD\u2014he\u2019s Tom Nelson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He was real unclear on what he was just saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Laughter] I was just thinking, \u201cSome of our listeners just got a divine spanking from Pastor Tom Nelson.\u201d It's probably a good thing; right?\u2014\u201c\u2026whom the Lord loves, He chastens\u2026[Proverbs 3:12]\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I'm telling you\u2014I really believe what we have done today is we have allowed the culture to take the subject of giving out of the Christian community's teaching repertoire.\u00a0 We need a fresh visit to the Scriptures to take a look at what the Bible says is true about giving. It is a privilege to give \/ it's a responsibility to give\u2014and, as he just mentioned\u2014it should be <em>our<\/em> decision to give.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRecently, Barbara and I received a little extra money, which meant we had to decide how we were going to allocate some of that extra money, in terms of giving. I could have just done it\u2014it's real easy for a man, I think, to just do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Instead, I kept asking and, at points, kind of pestering Barbara: \"What do you want to do with this? We need to give a portion of this money away. How much do you think we should give? Where should we give it, and how should we go about it?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, that process, not only honored God, but it also honored my wife\u2014that we did it together. Now, that comes, Bob, at the end of doing it wrong many, many times. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I hear you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just need you [listeners] to hear\u2014there is the capability, ladies, that your husband can get it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He can grow! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It just may take a <em>long time<\/em> before he gets there, and I'm making fun here. It's no laughing matter to some, who are listening; but I have grown a lot in this area. This is an area that I've wanted to be an area of strength in our marriage and family\u2014and wanted to send a signal to our kids that, \u201cWe're a giving family.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know why?\u2014because I can still remember my southpaw father, my left-handed dad, curling that arm around and writing that magnificent signature of \u201cWard A. Rainey\u201d on the check. Sunday morning, you could set your clock by it. Sunday school started at 10:00\u201410:30, the check was written. [Laughter] You could go to the bank with the check being written by that time. That, frankly, sticks in my mind as a model for how Barbara and I started giving, early in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and part of the key to that was that you and Barbara were on the same page. I mean, this was an area where there was not conflict\u2014the two had become one on this subject. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think about that, Dennis, because one of the major themes of the video series that we put together, called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, which is designed to be a Friday night\/Saturday event for churches to have their own marriage retreat, either right there at the church or if you want to get away for a weekend somewhere. You can use these videos to be your marriage content for the weekend, and you can help build oneness in the marriages in your church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need some of our listeners to partner with us to make this happen. Here\u2019s what we\u2019ll do\u2014if you\u2019ll get in touch with us and say: \u201cWe\u2019ll host this at our church,\u201d or \u201c\u2026in our community,\u201d and \u201cWe will go ahead and order workbooks for, at least, five couples\u201d\u2014 get the workbooks on order\u2014if you\u2019ll do that\u2014we\u2019ll send you the event kit for free \/ with the DVDs and everything you need to be able to host one of these events.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen\u2014it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for information about T<em>he Art of Marriage<\/em> video event\u201440<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary offer. Click on that and find out how you can get the event kit for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, all you have to do is go ahead and order workbooks for five couples; and we\u2019ll include the event kit at no additional charge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when I think about the whole issue of oneness in marriage, that\u2019s really what\u2019s been at the heart of what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> has been all about since we began, back in 1992, and what FamilyLife has been about, all the way back to 1976, when we hosted our very first <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway for couples. Our goal, at FamilyLife, is to provide you with the kind of practical biblical help you need to achieve the oneness that the Bible calls us to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe only way that\u2019s possible is when friends, like you, join with us to make it possible. Your support of this ministry helps cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program, operating our website, creating our resources, hosting our events. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible when you make a donation in support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation, right now, we\u2019d love to send you, as a thank-you gift, something new from Barbara Rainey, designed to make family meals a richer time for your family. These are napkin wraps that each have a different question printed on them. They\u2019re designed to spark conversation at the dinner table. We\u2019ll send you Barbara Rainey\u2019s brand-new, \u201cUntie Your Story\u201d napkin wraps\u2014it\u2019s the \u201cMemories\u201d edition\u2014when you make a donation today in support of the ministry. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care\u201d; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Or mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family can worship in church together this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday, when we\u2019re going to talk to a woman who\u2014well, she got the news that no mom ever wants to get\u2014a word from her doctor that the lump in her breast was, indeed, cancer. We\u2019ll talk with Vivian Mabuni about how she dealt with that news and how her family dealt with that news. That comes up Monday. I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0 <em>For the Love of Money<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The O\u2019Jays\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0 <em>Ship Ahoy <\/em>(p) 1973, 1974 Sony BMG Music Entertainment\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["37.77M"],"filesize_raw":["39606562"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303686.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303686.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you handle your money any differently now that you're married? Tommy Nelson, pastor of Denton Bible Church, gives couples advice about handling money after marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-10-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you remember the <em>best <\/em>advice or the best practices that you and Barbara began to employ around the subject of money, when you were first married? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, I don't remember a specific piece of advice; but I do remember that I treated the money as <em>our<\/em> money, not <em>my <\/em>money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I think that was important because, as we got married, Barbara was used to having her money, and I was used to having my money. That's usually not a problem for the guy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because he just kind of takes over; you know? But I remember thinking, \"She really needs to be able to have some of her own money to be able to do with as she sees fit, but we need to treat this as our money.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was an accountability that we kind of had to learn and to grow into as we started out our marriage, where I realized I just couldn't go spend as I pleased. I had said, \u201cNo,\u201d to the single life and to living life on <em>my<\/em> own and doing things as <em>I <\/em>pleased. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd taken a wife, and that meant that I needed to think about pleasing her and needed to, as a couple, pull in the same direction and make decisions around the same set of values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that's actually the first piece of advice that Tommy gives as he spoke to his congregation, on this subject, several months ago. This is from a message on marriage and money from Pastor Tommy Nelson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tommy: <\/strong>Money is kind of a mine that goes off in marriage. The problems with money are problems that kind of fester down there. They form a lack of trust and a lack of the feeling of being respected and nurtured. Out of that grow great problems and alienation in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTrust me on this\u2014these are not merely biblical principles. When I look at these, there is a particular face that I see behind each of them. There has been a historical conflict that we've had in one of our studies \/ in one of our counseling sessions with people that have violated these.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 1 Principle of Money\u2014well, this isn't a study on money\u2014it is a study on <em>mates<\/em> and money. The number one issue of mates and money is that it is not\u2014with my wife and me\u2014it's not <em>my<\/em> money \/ it's <em>our<\/em> money. My wife doesn't make money in the sense of having a job that makes money, but that makes no difference. The two become one flesh. The money that you men make is not <em>your <\/em>money. It's <em>ya'll's<\/em> money. [Laughter] A lot of times, a woman may have a career that out-earns her husband nowadays. Madam, it is not your money\u2014it is <em>ya'll's<\/em> money. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis statement, whenever I hear it in marriage, problems are on the way\u2014it goes like this: \u201cI pay the bills around here,\" or \"I make the money.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThat's why I can't be challenged\u201d\u2014is the assumption\u2014\u201con how I spend it.\u201d Like I say, my wife doesn't make money, but my wife can spend the money however she sees fit on the maintenance and the care of our home because it's our money. The two are one\u2014physically, financially, in all ways, emotionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 2: Even though it's <em>our<\/em> money, you check with your mate before you make a <em>major <\/em>expenditure\u2014underline the word, \"major.\" There is a sense in which you have the freedom to do what you need to do in certain areas\u2014and that's Number 3\u2014but on Number 2, you check with your mate, especially when you are about to put yourself in debt through a credit card.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn a major expenditure, you always check with your wife or your husband. You don't want to surprise your mate in the area of money. You don't want the credit company or the bank surprising your mate with what you did that you didn't tell them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a woman say to me one time\u2014I'll never forget this \/ I can just quote it to you verbatim\u2014she said, \"He will not give me the freedom to buy a $14 dress pattern, but he will come home with $800 in tires. Somehow, that's okay for him to do that; but it's not okay for me.\" So, you always check with your mate when you make a major expenditure\u2014guys as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 3: A woman needs the freedom to run a home. There is a certain margin that a woman has to spend independently for the maintenance of that house. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to give my wife the freedom to be what Paul calls her\u2014the <em>oikodespotes<\/em>\u2014the house despot. What a word! [Laughter] My wife has to have a sense of leeway. When I take care of the mowers and all the stuff that guys do\u2014Tom the Tool Man\u2014I've got to have a sense of freedom to maintain all of those things that are my responsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a woman one time\u2014this is a fact\u2014she came in, saying, \"Whenever I have to buy,\"\u2014and she mentioned a piece of lingerie\u2014she said: \"When I have to buy this, my husband drops me off at the mall. I go inside and get the exact figure, plus tax, to the penny. I come out and give it to him. He gives me the exact change, to the penny. I go inside and pay for it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the man that she was saying that about did not feel that he was being demeaning to that woman. He felt he was being <em>holy<\/em>. I said to him, \"No, you're what's called <em>dumb<\/em>.\"\u00a0 [Laughter] \u201cYou're <em>dumb <\/em>because, in your seeking to control, you are treating your wife like a child! Whatever you think you're gaining, you are <em>losing<\/em> the affinity of your wife for you. If she's not that trustworthy, you shouldn't have married her. You trust her with things.\u201d But he thought he was some kind of frugal, smart husband. Well, you have to give your mate that kind of freedom to do what she\/he needs to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA woman\u2014Number 4\u2014<em>can<\/em> have <em>her <\/em>money. Proverbs 31: \"She considers a field from her earnings, and she buys it.\" Fellas, that woman of Proverbs 31\u2014if you'll excuse the term \/ you're not supposed to use it in evangelicalism\u2014but you'll find she is an extremely independent and liberated woman. She sells belts to the tradesmen. She considers a field from her earnings, and she buys it. As long as it has consent and is not breaching the husband's place, it's good to let a woman do what she would like to do with <em>ya'll's<\/em> money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 5: Decide who does the books in your family. It may not be the man \/ it may not be the wage-earner. In my family, my wife does the books. She does a wonderful job, and I let her do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me give you a bit of guidance on this. If you're the one who does the books, you have to do them well. You can't mess up in the area of finances and where your money is going. You have to do it well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, number two, if your mate is the one who does the books, then you, in a sense, have to submit yourself to what works best for her. My wife does the books. In that area of life, I have to be, in a sense, submissive to what works best for her. If she needs me to bring in certain receipts and whatever, then I have to go by what she thinks is right. I can't use my position to usurp her. Fellas, if you have your wife keep the finances, then, you have to be acquiescent and make sure that it's easy for her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, ladies, if your husband keeps the finances, then you, especially in that area, have to make life easy for him to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 6: Debt distracts. Debt\u2014not just debt \/ but credit cards\u2014the whole essence of debt is that you have what you haven't earned. Now, you obligate yourself, in the future, to pay that person back. That's what the root word of credit is\u2014<em>credo<\/em>\u2014that means, \"I believe,\"\u2014\u201cThey believe, and they trust me, that I will pay them back.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible says that the borrower is the lender's slave. Stay out of debt all that you can because, when you take debt, you give up an equal amount of freedom. There are certain things that you can't do anymore because you are obligated, in future days, to pay back that money. The Bible tells you to pay what you owe them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDebt is like a pet anaconda. Anacondas are very pretty\u2014they really are. But when you have one, as a pet, and you begin to feed him, he gets bigger, and he wraps around you\u2014it can now crush the life out of you. The Bible allows for debt, but not debt that you don't pay. You have to keep up with your debt. When you go into debt, you have now obligated yourself for future days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 7: First things first. There are rules of where your money goes that you need to understand. Are you all familiar with where the Bible says the first fruits of your income go? Proverbs: \u201cHonor the Lord with the first of your income, and He will cause your vats to overflow and your barns to be filled [Proverbs 3:9].\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am <em>amazed<\/em> how God uses money to make us honor Him. That's why it is said that your treasure is where your heart is. You can talk all you want to about spirituality, but if it doesn't get into your lifeblood\u2014which is your money that keeps you alive \/ that keeps stuff on your table\u2014your religion is just an intellectual or a doctrinal issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA Campus Crusade<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> guy told me, early in my marriage\u2014I'm so glad he did\u2014he said, \"Whatever you make, you honor God right off the top.\" My wife and I began doing that\u2014if we had $10, we'd honor God with a buck. God has <em>always<\/em> taken care of us: \u201cGod is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having a sufficiency, you'll have abundance for every good deed [2 Cor. 9:8].\u201d \u201cHe who sows abundantly shall reap abundantly [2 Cor. 9:6].\u201d God has always taken care of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, right off the top, you honor God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter you do that, you always pay what you owe\u2014you pay your bills. Then, right after that, you pay you\u2014and the idea of a savings: \u201cMuch wine and delight is in the house of the righteous, but the wicked swallows it up [Proverbs 21:20].\u201d Wicked people spend quickly anything that they get, quite often.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo honor God with your first fruits, then pay your bills, set aside some for savings, and the rest\u2014enjoy it and use it. Have fun with it! When you'll make rules where your money goes, as a priority, the budgeting process takes care of itself. Once you honor God, Caesar, and the future, now you can enjoy today with the money that's allotted to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you won't go into debt, you can actually make it through life without a lot of financial problems. I'll be honest with you\u2014my wife and I don't have, really, a budget \/ we have a recognition of where we are\u2014but we honor God, pay our bills, and then we set some aside. Then, the rest of it\u2014Rocky Road, skiing, crunchy peanut butter\u2014see? You <em>enjoy<\/em> it\u2014and incidentally\u2014both have to be onboard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what do I mean? Whenever I do women's Q&amp;As, one of the major questions that is asked is: \"Tom, my husband doesn't give to the Lord's work. What should I do?\"\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014meaning, \"Should I \/ do I have to usurp my husband and take over the reins of our home?\" My answer always is: \"Our church doesn't need your money, but you need to be obedient.\u00a0 Don't make your husband give\u2014let God fix him.\" God can. God can fix him real quickly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, fellas\u2014and if the shoe fits on this, you wear it. I hope that your wife is not put in a continual place of not seeing the blessing of God because of the lack of leadership and trust of a materialistic and self-willed husband.\u00a0 You honor God and lead your family\u2014so both have to be onboard with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that is Pastor Tom Nelson. We've been calling him \"Tommy\" this week. He's Tom now\u2014Pastor Tom Nelson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Is he really Tom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That's what it said on the CD\u2014he\u2019s Tom Nelson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He was real unclear on what he was just saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Laughter] I was just thinking, \u201cSome of our listeners just got a divine spanking from Pastor Tom Nelson.\u201d It's probably a good thing; right?\u2014\u201c\u2026whom the Lord loves, He chastens\u2026[Proverbs 3:12]\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I'm telling you\u2014I really believe what we have done today is we have allowed the culture to take the subject of giving out of the Christian community's teaching repertoire.\u00a0 We need a fresh visit to the Scriptures to take a look at what the Bible says is true about giving. It is a privilege to give \/ it's a responsibility to give\u2014and, as he just mentioned\u2014it should be <em>our<\/em> decision to give.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRecently, Barbara and I received a little extra money, which meant we had to decide how we were going to allocate some of that extra money, in terms of giving. I could have just done it\u2014it's real easy for a man, I think, to just do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Instead, I kept asking and, at points, kind of pestering Barbara: \"What do you want to do with this? We need to give a portion of this money away. How much do you think we should give? Where should we give it, and how should we go about it?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, that process, not only honored God, but it also honored my wife\u2014that we did it together. Now, that comes, Bob, at the end of doing it wrong many, many times. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I hear you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just need you [listeners] to hear\u2014there is the capability, ladies, that your husband can get it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He can grow! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It just may take a <em>long time<\/em> before he gets there, and I'm making fun here. It's no laughing matter to some, who are listening; but I have grown a lot in this area. This is an area that I've wanted to be an area of strength in our marriage and family\u2014and wanted to send a signal to our kids that, \u201cWe're a giving family.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know why?\u2014because I can still remember my southpaw father, my left-handed dad, curling that arm around and writing that magnificent signature of \u201cWard A. Rainey\u201d on the check. Sunday morning, you could set your clock by it. Sunday school started at 10:00\u201410:30, the check was written. [Laughter] You could go to the bank with the check being written by that time. That, frankly, sticks in my mind as a model for how Barbara and I started giving, early in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and part of the key to that was that you and Barbara were on the same page. I mean, this was an area where there was not conflict\u2014the two had become one on this subject. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think about that, Dennis, because one of the major themes of the video series that we put together, called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, which is designed to be a Friday night\/Saturday event for churches to have their own marriage retreat, either right there at the church or if you want to get away for a weekend somewhere. You can use these videos to be your marriage content for the weekend, and you can help build oneness in the marriages in your church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need some of our listeners to partner with us to make this happen. Here\u2019s what we\u2019ll do\u2014if you\u2019ll get in touch with us and say: \u201cWe\u2019ll host this at our church,\u201d or \u201c\u2026in our community,\u201d and \u201cWe will go ahead and order workbooks for, at least, five couples\u201d\u2014 get the workbooks on order\u2014if you\u2019ll do that\u2014we\u2019ll send you the event kit for free \/ with the DVDs and everything you need to be able to host one of these events.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen\u2014it says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for information about T<em>he Art of Marriage<\/em> video event\u201440<sup>th<\/sup> Anniversary offer. Click on that and find out how you can get the event kit for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, all you have to do is go ahead and order workbooks for five couples; and we\u2019ll include the event kit at no additional charge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when I think about the whole issue of oneness in marriage, that\u2019s really what\u2019s been at the heart of what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> has been all about since we began, back in 1992, and what FamilyLife has been about, all the way back to 1976, when we hosted our very first <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway for couples. Our goal, at FamilyLife, is to provide you with the kind of practical biblical help you need to achieve the oneness that the Bible calls us to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe only way that\u2019s possible is when friends, like you, join with us to make it possible. Your support of this ministry helps cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program, operating our website, creating our resources, hosting our events. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou make <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible when you make a donation in support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation, right now, we\u2019d love to send you, as a thank-you gift, something new from Barbara Rainey, designed to make family meals a richer time for your family. These are napkin wraps that each have a different question printed on them. They\u2019re designed to spark conversation at the dinner table. We\u2019ll send you Barbara Rainey\u2019s brand-new, \u201cUntie Your Story\u201d napkin wraps\u2014it\u2019s the \u201cMemories\u201d edition\u2014when you make a donation today in support of the ministry. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care\u201d; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Or mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. And our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for this week. Thanks for being with us. Hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family can worship in church together this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday, when we\u2019re going to talk to a woman who\u2014well, she got the news that no mom ever wants to get\u2014a word from her doctor that the lump in her breast was, indeed, cancer. We\u2019ll talk with Vivian Mabuni about how she dealt with that news and how her family dealt with that news. That comes up Monday. I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup>Song:\u00a0 <em>For the Love of Money<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The O\u2019Jays\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0 <em>Ship Ahoy <\/em>(p) 1973, 1974 Sony BMG Music Entertainment\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303686","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303686"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303686"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303686"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303686"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303686"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303686"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303686"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}