{"id":303654,"date":"2015-09-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-09-10T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/united-in-prayer\/"},"modified":"2015-09-10T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-09-10T15:00:00","slug":"united-in-prayer","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/united-in-prayer\/","title":{"rendered":"United in Prayer"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sam Ingrassia and his wife had hit a rough patch in their 37-year marriage. Sam tells how he and his wife began infusing new life into their marriage by praying together daily.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-10.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.79M","filesize_raw":"28090661","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2810],"tags":[5817,2877,2210],"podcast_series":[7996],"cwp_profile":[9329],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303654","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-spiritually","tag-change-my-marriage","tag-marriage","tag-prayer","podcast_series-just-say-the-word","cwp_profile-sam-ingrassia","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303654\/united-in-prayer","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303654\/united-in-prayer","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"WEg8Pu66sY\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/united-in-prayer\/\">United in Prayer<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/united-in-prayer\/embed\/#?secret=WEg8Pu66sY\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;United in Prayer&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"WEg8Pu66sY\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hi! It\u2019s Bob Lepine from <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Before we start our program today, I want to remind you that this is Day 10 in FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2019s 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge, where we are encouraging husbands and wives to pray together every day for 30 days. We\u2019re not just encouraging you to do that\u2014we\u2019re helping to make it happen by sending you a daily prayer prompt via text message or email. You can sign up to receive these prayer prompts when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and then sign up from there to receive your daily prayer prompt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, our focus is on how we can address the spiritual issues in our marriage\u2014our relationship with God\u2014and how that affects our relationship with one another. We\u2019re encouraging husbands to pray that God would help you to give attention to the spiritual side of your marriage and asking wives to pray that God would give you wisdom and courage to walk in obedience to Him each day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, today, we\u2019re going to introduce you to a guy named Sam Ingrassia. Sam is a seminary graduate who has gone on to pastor a local church and who now plants churches in third world countries. As committed as he was to the things of God, there was still one area in his life where that commitment was waning\u2014that area was daily praying with his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> The fact of the matter is that I was really dropping the ball in that area of our spiritual intimacy together. We really were not praying together with much intentionality or even much regularity at all. It\u2019s not that we didn\u2019t have any spiritual connection, but I would describe it as a haphazard connectivity\u2014sort of bumping along. We\u2019re in life and ministry\u2014it\u2019s busy \/ we\u2019re moving fast\u2014it was just kind of hit and miss. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, September 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear today from Sam Ingrassia about the wake-up call that came in his marriage and about the change that took place as well. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob, I know you don\u2019t like to hunt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know you don\u2019t like to hunt, but what about fishing? Have you ever fished in your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Fishing is\u2014you\u2019ve taken me fishing! We\u2019ve been fishing together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh yes; that\u2019s right!\u2014but beyond that, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. Fishing is just hunting for fish\u2014is all it is. [Laughter] So, it\u2019s the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you know what a backlash is?\u2014when it comes to fishing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When it comes to fishing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you know what a backlash is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I do not know what a backlash is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s not as bad as it used to be; but they used to have these open-faced reels that line in them, where you would cast, and the spool would spin faster\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u2014than the lure going out. So, when the lure hit the water, the spool would still be spinning. There would just be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014line everywhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014a rat\u2019s nest of line\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I get the picture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014in the reel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Our guest on today\u2019s broadcast had a backlash moment, with his wife, in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. The bait hit the water but the reel kept spinning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, the reel kept spinning. By his own confession, it was a backlash moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. We\u2019re going to have to get some explanation on this one, just to bring it all home for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ll do that in a few moments. Sam Ingrassia joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Sam, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Great to be with you guys. Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You did have a backlash moment; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> We did have a backlash moment\u2014maybe, more than one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, I think that\u2019s true. Let me just tell you a little bit about who Sam is. He and his wife Vicki have been married for 39 years. They have three adult children. He is a graduate of <em>The<\/em> Dallas Theological Seminary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Laughter] Now, it\u2019s <em>The<\/em> Dallas Theological Seminary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>The<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s right; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He works as a church planter with e3 Partners Ministry and has a great outreach to Colombia, taking groups of people down there to show them how to plant churches and evangelize neighborhoods in a foreign country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Exactly right\u2014e3 Partners stands for three key \u201ce\u201d words: equip, evangelize, and establish. We\u2019re all about helping establish the church, internationally, in terms of both strengthening the church and starting new churches. Our ministry is all about mobilizing teams to about 40 different countries, actually. I serve as the Strategy Coordinator for the work in Colombia in South America. I\u2019ve been working there for 20 years, in fact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> About how many adults a year will you take on one of these trips?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, on any one of these trips, it could be anywhere from 20 to 40\u2014even 50 people\u2014but over the course of this year, we\u2019ll probably take almost 200 people to Colombia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow. Wow. Well, you\u2019ve written a book called <em>Just Say the Word<\/em>. We\u2019ll find out more about what that\u2019s all about after you explain the backlash in your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes, the backlash happened a couple of years ago, now. What I call it is\u2014Vicki and I had come into, I guess, what I would call kind of\u2014a rough patch. It was a time of some tension, where some things just weren\u2019t quite feeling right the way they normally would feel. After a little bit of a season of that, it was like, finally, we needed to sit down and find out, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember very well that fateful day\u2014sitting in our living room, to say: \u201cOkay, Honey, what\u2019s up? What\u2019s really going on?\u201d As we began to think about that and talk, I guess I\u2019d say a realization arose from Vicki\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014she looked at me and said four words that about blew me out of the water. She said: \u201cYou know what? I think part of the problem that I\u2019m struggling with, Sam, is I\u2019ve just sort of realized that you have failed me. You have failed me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan you imagine? Here I\u2019m married 39 years, almost. At that time, it was about 37 years; but I\u2019ve adored Vicki since we were juniors in high school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re theologically-trained by <em>The<\/em> Dallas Seminary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Of course\u2014<em>The<\/em> Dallas Seminary. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen she hit me with those words, it just really blew me away. I\u2019ll tell you the back story\u2014what happened was\u2014a couple of our adult daughters were going through a season of difficult time. The pressures of life were squeezing on them. My wife really <em>knew<\/em> that we needed to be praying for those girls more consistently than we were. The fact of the matter is that I was really dropping the ball in that area of our spiritual intimacy together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe really were not praying together\u2014it was just kind of hit and miss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; your wife kind of put it in a graphic term about: \u201cIf we had sex together as often as we prayed together\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly what she said. In the scope of that conversation, she said, \u201cYou know, if we were intimate as often as we prayed together, you\u2019d be pretty disappointed.\u201d And so, what happened was\u2014as we got into that conversation, I just put my hands up and I said: \u201cVicki\u2014guilty\/guilty. And this has got to stop.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod just shined a light on my heart, at that moment\u2014and not only gave me a repentance about it\u2014but where <em>Just Say the Word<\/em> was born\u2014was because God really, by His grace, gave me a revelation about how to solve this backlash. Right there, on the spot, God spoke to my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let me back you up, though, because I want to know about the pattern in your marriage. Were you believers when you got married\u2014both of you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> We were believers when we got married. We were both the first Christians in our homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe came together. In 1975\u2014we were married\u2014brand-new Christians. We started out going to Bible college. We knew the Lord\u2014bumping along in our life \/ finding our way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You told us\u2014in 1984, you guys were at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>marriage getaway; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. By that time, I was pastoring in New Jersey, at a church called Jacksonville Chapel. I told Dennis, earlier, that was the last time I had seen him. I was there at the Parsippany Hilton Hotel at a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>there \/ a FamilyLife weekend. Vicki and I were there. We had just started our pastorate in New Jersey. Right before I came over here, I dug that old notebook out of the closet\u2014sure enough, it was still there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, did you have any sense, as a husband, of what role prayer ought to play in your relationship with Vicki?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh, I think most all of us\u2014Christian husbands\u2014have a sense of what role it <em>ought<\/em> to be playing in our lives. But I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014as God has called me out, based on my own failure, to speak out to other men about this issue, I\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019ve been finding is\u2014almost, almost unanimously, across the board, men are struggling with this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost Christian men are struggling with some level of burden that they\u2019re not quite cutting it in spiritual leadership at home and in their marriage. They\u2019re just kind of nursing this burden along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Over the years, we have surveyed well over a thousand churches\u2014and I don\u2019t know how many tens of thousands of people\u2014asking questions about spiritual life, especially, as it shows up in a marriage relationship. These are not the exact numbers, but they are generally true. About 75 percent of us pray <em>for<\/em> our kids. About 35 percent of us pray <em>with<\/em> our kids. About 10 percent of married couples pray together occasionally, but less than 5 percent pray with their spouse every day, as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what you described there is that there are a lot of wives, right now, moving near the radio, going: \u201cOh, yes! You\u2019re talking about the longing of my soul.\u201d It really is what wives want from their husband. They want to be connected to God, but they want to be connected to Him <em>with<\/em> their husband. They want the journey to be together. You talked about walking side-by-side. What would you say to that wife, who is listening to us right now, who is losing heart in well-doing? She says: \u201cYou\u2019re describing my husband. He doesn\u2019t get it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve talked to a lot of women after speaking in different churches and different venues. A lot of the main messaging has gone to the men, but I\u2019ve been finding venues to speak where it\u2019s couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I would say to you is: \u201cCan you have the opportunity \/ find the opportunity to speak the truth in love, at the right time, to your husband\u2014to share your heart with him? The need you really have in your heart\u2014he already knows it. Bring it to bear\u2014not in a way of bashing him or guilting him out. He\u2019s already dealing with a lot of that, probably;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cbut to call him out, in a loving way, and to express your need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIn terms of the resource of this little book called <em>Just Say the Word<\/em>\u2014is there a way to put this in his hands?\u201d\u2014a short read \/ an easy read, challenging men to look at this compelling story\u2014a simple, doable path\u2014to step toward your wife for more regular and intentional spiritual connectedness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; your wife did that with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> She sure did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She had a backlash. She said: \u201cThis is a mess. This is a rat\u2019s nest here in our marriage. I need you to step up.\u201d You said you raised your hands and said, \u201cGuilty as charged.\u201d What did you do then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Exactly. When God gave me that revelation, I said: \u201cVicki, honey, look\u2014I get it, and I commit to you.\u201d I raised my hand, like a vow\u2014almost like being back at the wedding altar again\u2014I said: \u201cVicki, we are going to pray together, but what we\u2019re going to do is we\u2019re going to pray the Word of God. Let\u2019s let the Word of God show us what to pray about rather than trying to make up prayers off the top of our head like we do extemporaneously.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam: <\/strong>That\u2019s fine, but you know what? I guess I\u2019m either not creative enough or not spiritual enough to pray with her on a really regular basis\u2014like sweeping the heavens with all kinds of impressive Thee\u2019s, and Thou\u2019s, and creative intercessions\u2014but <em>now<\/em>, we allow the Word of God to <em>show<\/em> us what to pray about. That was the path that we began on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe model is just very simple. It goes something like this\u2014there are three key words\u2014read, observe, and pray. For us, we started in the book of Hebrews; but I really recommend, oftentimes, men start with the book of Philippians. What you do is\u2014you sit down with your wife. You begin to read the Word of God. You read just a few verses\u2014not very many\u2014not a paragraph. We sit quietly to listen for the Holy Spirit\u2014to listen to how He speaks to our hearts: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLord, what is in this passage?\u201d\u2014not as a Bible study\u2014but, \u201cWhat do You want us to pray about from this text?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOftentimes, I ask my wife one of these profound theological questions\u2014something like this: \u201cHoney, what jumps out at you?\u201d It\u2019s just that simple: \u201cWhat jumps out at you?\u201d So, we\u2019re looking for a key word, an idea, a topic, a doctrine, a command, a blessing, praise\u2014whatever it might be\u2014then we use those prayer points as prayer <em>points<\/em>. We pray those things. We pray them, in particular, over our marriage and our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what\u2019s really exciting about <em>Just Say the Word<\/em> is\u2014I\u2019m calling men out to pray the Word, with their wife, over their kids\u2014to be a spiritual umbrella, as it were\u2014to call the Word of God and pray the Word over our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let\u2019s do that right here. I want you to illustrate. Obviously, your wife\u2019s not here to tell you what jumps out at her, but let\u2019s take one of Bob\u2019s favorite passages: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians, Chapter 2\u2014the first four verses\u2014is that good enough, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. I like those verses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s just illustrate how that would work with your wife, Vicki, in your marriage; and then I want you to illustrate how you\u2019d pray for her; okay? Bob, I\u2019ll let you pretend that you\u2019re Vicki. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, so let\u2019s read this text, then. It is Philippians, Chapter 2, verses 1 through 4:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.\u201d What a rich, full text this is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You think that applies to marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh, man. This is right on the mark\u2014but here\u2019s the point\u2014there\u2019s so much there. We\u2019re not trying to do a Bible study. So, I would say to: \u201cVicki\/Bob, what jumps out at you? What hits you from this passage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWell, I think the priority of unity that\u2019s talked about in verse 2, where it talks about being like-minded and having the same heart \/ the same interests.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I could hear a wife saying something like that, \u201cLike for us to be more unified, as a couple.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnd then, just the issue of selfishness in verse 3\u2014that jumped out\u2014just because I\u2019m so aware of how often that\u2019s what\u2019s driving my own heart is my selfishness. So, probably, those two things are what jumped out at me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes, so Paul is calling us to a unity\u2014a like-mindedness in spirit and purpose. What jumps out at me is in verse 4: \u201cEach of you should look not <em>only<\/em> [emphasis added]to your own interests, but also the interests of others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would note those things; and we would say, \u201cNow, let\u2019s pray together.\u201d By the way, I would try to encourage husband and wife to both pray, of course. We might pray something like this: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFather, we thank You for what we see today from the book of Philippians, in these first four verses of Chapter 2. Father, we pray that You would give Vicki and me, in our marriage, a united love in Jesus Christ; that this fellowship of the Spirit that you\u2019ve given to us\u2014this tenderness and compassion\u2014would become real. Lord, make our joy complete.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLord, fulfill like-mindedness in us with the same love that we, Lord, would be one in spirit and purpose, together and in our marriage. Lord, help us not to be so selfish. We are so given to that in our flesh\u2014to be selfish and have our own ambition \/ our own needs met as the focus\u2014vain conceit. Lord, fill us up for humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLord, help me to consider Vicki better than myself. Help Vicki to consider me better than her. Lord, help us <em>not<\/em> to look for our own interests, as we confess we are apt to do, but help us to look for the interests of others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Father, today, we pray over Christina, Nicole, and Stephanie. We pray over our son-in-law Brian and even our little granddaughter, Lila. We pray that this spirit of love and unity would cover their lives as well. I pray that this giving spirit\u2014this looking-out spirit\u2014would fill them to look out for the interests of other people that are around their lives\u2014that they not be selfish and have this vain conceit. Father\u2014call on us and our family\u2014to this unity, to this love, to this humility. We pray this today in Jesus\u2019 name. Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, you would lead and, then, Vicki would typically pray after you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh, we take turns\u2014it just depends. Sometimes, I only pray. Sometimes, she only prays. Sometimes, we pray together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would pray a little bit \/ stay quiet\u2014she would pray a few words\u2014whatever God leads us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell guys: \u201cDo what\u2019s comfortable in your marriage,\u201d\u2014there are all kinds of different situations that people are dealing with, especially when it comes to prayer and the Word\u2014but: \u201cCan you get to the Word of God together?\u2014because, sir, <em>this<\/em> <em>is<\/em> the Sword of the Spirit \/ this is the Word of God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re praying His will\u2014He wants to accomplish this in our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Exactly; exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to comment on a statement you made because I think a lot of guys think this way\u2014that you, somehow, have to scrape the Milky Way galaxy with theological terms and noble and lofty words. That\u2019s not what prayer is all about. Prayer is a conversation with God. Sometimes, you speak; and sometimes, you listen\u2014He speaks through His Word. He also speaks by His Spirit to us and convicts us of things that need to be confessed. I\u2019m sure, many times, with your wife\u2014you\u2019ve found yourself confessing selfishness after you\u2019ve read a passage like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Sure. You come to the Word of God, and it is convicting. It\u2019s the Sword of the Spirit\u2014the double-edged sword that pierces, dividing asunder of soul and spirit, joints and marrow\u2014a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Let\u2019s let the Word of God do the work in our marriage and going before our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We should just point out, too, that you call this expository prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes\u2014the book\u2014we know what expository preaching is. Expository preaching is when the preacher takes us through the Word, line by line \/ word by word: \u201cWhat is the text saying?\u201d Well, expository praying is the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Very powerful stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and what I want to ask you is\u2014what every fisherman knows: \u201cIf you have a backlash on your reel,\u201d\u2014and Bob, you wouldn\u2019t know this because you\u2019ve not had a backlash.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It takes some work to undo all the mess you\u2019ve got in your reel after you get a backlash. I just want to know: \u201cWhat did this do for your backlash, Sam? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat about what your wife, Vicki, was feeling about, \u2018You have failed me\u2019?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> To say it, in brief, I guess I\u2019d say it truly has been a game-changer. We\u2019re approaching 40 years of marriage. In the last two years, I thank God that He has restored the years the locusts have eaten. As I\u2019ve shared this messaging over and over again with men, there have been many times when I\u2019ve actually just come to tears again, feeling like I\u2019ve lost so much time, for we\u2019d not prayed, regularly, for so many years, and, certainly, not prayed the Word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> But I tell guys, \u201cGod can restore the years the locusts have eaten.\u201d He\u2019s done that for us. It\u2019s just been a game-changer. Quite frankly, we\u2019ve always had a good marriage. It wasn\u2019t a struggle or a battle. We\u2019ve always had a good, loving marriage; but this dimension of a more\u2014again, spiritual connectedness \/ an enhanced walk with Christ, together\u2014it\u2019s just been a game-changer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know what I\u2019m going to do tonight. We always pray together before we go to bed at night. I\u2019m going to pray the Word\u2014pray expository.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Pray the Word\u2014pray the Word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And frankly, this is good for somebody who feels like they may be in a rut in their prayer life, which we can all get into from time to time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you said that your book is a simple read \/ an easy read for guys. It\u2019s about 70 pages long\u2014it\u2019s not going to take you a long time. It is going to lay out for you, practically, how you can begin to cultivate this pattern in your marriage of praying together on a more regular basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there a lot of guys who are just under the pile on this\u2014they\u2019re thinking: \u201cI don\u2019t know. It\u2019s too late. We should have done this years ago.\u201d Well, there\u2019s no time like the present. We\u2019ve got this 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge going on right now. We\u2019re trying to equip husbands and wives to make it easier for you to be praying together in marriage. If our listeners want to sign up, they can get the daily prayer prompt that we\u2019re sending out via text message or via email so that you\u2019ve got some directions each day on how to pray for one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, get a copy of Sam\u2019s book and start this discipline of praying God\u2019s Word together every day. Sam\u2019s book is called <em>Just Say the Word. <\/em>If you want to sign up for the 30-Day Prayer Challenge, or if you want to order a copy of Sam\u2019s book, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information you need is available right there to either sign up for the prayer prompts each day or to order a copy of Sam Ingrassia\u2019s book, <em>Just Say the Word. <\/em>Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also quickly mention that this is the last week for those of you who want to sign up to attend one of our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this fall. We\u2019ve got a lot of great locations \/ great weekends set aside. If you sign up this week, you pay the regular rate for yourself; and your spouse comes at no additional cost. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s a buy one\/get one free opportunity that expires this weekend. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the information about the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway and the special offer that\u2019s available right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne last thing before we\u2019re done\u2014and that is a word of thanks to those of you who partner with us to make the ministry of FamilyLife possible. We\u2019re listener-supported. In fact, if you can help with a donation right now, we\u2019d like to send you our 2016 FamilyLife calendar. This calendar actually begins in October\u2014so it will give you a jumpstart on the year. The focus each month on this calendar is praying together, as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation either, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d to make an online donation\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your donation over the phone\u20141-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how using God\u2019s Word as the template for your prayers can have a huge impact on your praying together in marriage. Sam Ingrassia is going to be back with us. I hope you can be back as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. 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Ingrassia and his wife had hit a rough patch in their 37-year marriage. Sam tells how he and his wife began infusing new life into their marriage by praying together daily.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Hi! It\u2019s Bob Lepine from <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Before we start our program today, I want to remind you that this is Day 10 in FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2019s 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge, where we are encouraging husbands and wives to pray together every day for 30 days. We\u2019re not just encouraging you to do that\u2014we\u2019re helping to make it happen by sending you a daily prayer prompt via text message or email. You can sign up to receive these prayer prompts when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and then sign up from there to receive your daily prayer prompt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, our focus is on how we can address the spiritual issues in our marriage\u2014our relationship with God\u2014and how that affects our relationship with one another. We\u2019re encouraging husbands to pray that God would help you to give attention to the spiritual side of your marriage and asking wives to pray that God would give you wisdom and courage to walk in obedience to Him each day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Again, click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, today, we\u2019re going to introduce you to a guy named Sam Ingrassia. Sam is a seminary graduate who has gone on to pastor a local church and who now plants churches in third world countries. As committed as he was to the things of God, there was still one area in his life where that commitment was waning\u2014that area was daily praying with his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> The fact of the matter is that I was really dropping the ball in that area of our spiritual intimacy together. We really were not praying together with much intentionality or even much regularity at all. It\u2019s not that we didn\u2019t have any spiritual connection, but I would describe it as a haphazard connectivity\u2014sort of bumping along. We\u2019re in life and ministry\u2014it\u2019s busy \/ we\u2019re moving fast\u2014it was just kind of hit and miss. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, September 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear today from Sam Ingrassia about the wake-up call that came in his marriage and about the change that took place as well. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob, I know you don\u2019t like to hunt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know you don\u2019t like to hunt, but what about fishing? Have you ever fished in your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Fishing is\u2014you\u2019ve taken me fishing! We\u2019ve been fishing together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh yes; that\u2019s right!\u2014but beyond that, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. Fishing is just hunting for fish\u2014is all it is. [Laughter] So, it\u2019s the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you know what a backlash is?\u2014when it comes to fishing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When it comes to fishing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Do you know what a backlash is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I do not know what a backlash is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s not as bad as it used to be; but they used to have these open-faced reels that line in them, where you would cast, and the spool would spin faster\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u2014than the lure going out. So, when the lure hit the water, the spool would still be spinning. There would just be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014line everywhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014a rat\u2019s nest of line\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I get the picture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014in the reel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Our guest on today\u2019s broadcast had a backlash moment, with his wife, in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. The bait hit the water but the reel kept spinning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, the reel kept spinning. By his own confession, it was a backlash moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. We\u2019re going to have to get some explanation on this one, just to bring it all home for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019ll do that in a few moments. Sam Ingrassia joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Sam, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Great to be with you guys. Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You did have a backlash moment; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> We did have a backlash moment\u2014maybe, more than one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes, I think that\u2019s true. Let me just tell you a little bit about who Sam is. He and his wife Vicki have been married for 39 years. They have three adult children. He is a graduate of <em>The<\/em> Dallas Theological Seminary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Laughter] Now, it\u2019s <em>The<\/em> Dallas Theological Seminary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>The<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s right; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He works as a church planter with e3 Partners Ministry and has a great outreach to Colombia, taking groups of people down there to show them how to plant churches and evangelize neighborhoods in a foreign country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Exactly right\u2014e3 Partners stands for three key \u201ce\u201d words: equip, evangelize, and establish. We\u2019re all about helping establish the church, internationally, in terms of both strengthening the church and starting new churches. Our ministry is all about mobilizing teams to about 40 different countries, actually. I serve as the Strategy Coordinator for the work in Colombia in South America. I\u2019ve been working there for 20 years, in fact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> About how many adults a year will you take on one of these trips?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, on any one of these trips, it could be anywhere from 20 to 40\u2014even 50 people\u2014but over the course of this year, we\u2019ll probably take almost 200 people to Colombia.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Wow. Wow. Well, you\u2019ve written a book called <em>Just Say the Word<\/em>. We\u2019ll find out more about what that\u2019s all about after you explain the backlash in your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes, the backlash happened a couple of years ago, now. What I call it is\u2014Vicki and I had come into, I guess, what I would call kind of\u2014a rough patch. It was a time of some tension, where some things just weren\u2019t quite feeling right the way they normally would feel. After a little bit of a season of that, it was like, finally, we needed to sit down and find out, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember very well that fateful day\u2014sitting in our living room, to say: \u201cOkay, Honey, what\u2019s up? What\u2019s really going on?\u201d As we began to think about that and talk, I guess I\u2019d say a realization arose from Vicki\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014she looked at me and said four words that about blew me out of the water. She said: \u201cYou know what? I think part of the problem that I\u2019m struggling with, Sam, is I\u2019ve just sort of realized that you have failed me. You have failed me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan you imagine? Here I\u2019m married 39 years, almost. At that time, it was about 37 years; but I\u2019ve adored Vicki since we were juniors in high school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re theologically-trained by <em>The<\/em> Dallas Seminary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Of course\u2014<em>The<\/em> Dallas Seminary. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen she hit me with those words, it just really blew me away. I\u2019ll tell you the back story\u2014what happened was\u2014a couple of our adult daughters were going through a season of difficult time. The pressures of life were squeezing on them. My wife really <em>knew<\/em> that we needed to be praying for those girls more consistently than we were. The fact of the matter is that I was really dropping the ball in that area of our spiritual intimacy together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe really were not praying together\u2014it was just kind of hit and miss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; your wife kind of put it in a graphic term about: \u201cIf we had sex together as often as we prayed together\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly what she said. In the scope of that conversation, she said, \u201cYou know, if we were intimate as often as we prayed together, you\u2019d be pretty disappointed.\u201d And so, what happened was\u2014as we got into that conversation, I just put my hands up and I said: \u201cVicki\u2014guilty\/guilty. And this has got to stop.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod just shined a light on my heart, at that moment\u2014and not only gave me a repentance about it\u2014but where <em>Just Say the Word<\/em> was born\u2014was because God really, by His grace, gave me a revelation about how to solve this backlash. Right there, on the spot, God spoke to my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let me back you up, though, because I want to know about the pattern in your marriage. Were you believers when you got married\u2014both of you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> We were believers when we got married. We were both the first Christians in our homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe came together. In 1975\u2014we were married\u2014brand-new Christians. We started out going to Bible college. We knew the Lord\u2014bumping along in our life \/ finding our way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You told us\u2014in 1984, you guys were at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>marriage getaway; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. By that time, I was pastoring in New Jersey, at a church called Jacksonville Chapel. I told Dennis, earlier, that was the last time I had seen him. I was there at the Parsippany Hilton Hotel at a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>there \/ a FamilyLife weekend. Vicki and I were there. We had just started our pastorate in New Jersey. Right before I came over here, I dug that old notebook out of the closet\u2014sure enough, it was still there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, did you have any sense, as a husband, of what role prayer ought to play in your relationship with Vicki?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh, I think most all of us\u2014Christian husbands\u2014have a sense of what role it <em>ought<\/em> to be playing in our lives. But I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014as God has called me out, based on my own failure, to speak out to other men about this issue, I\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019ve been finding is\u2014almost, almost unanimously, across the board, men are struggling with this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost Christian men are struggling with some level of burden that they\u2019re not quite cutting it in spiritual leadership at home and in their marriage. They\u2019re just kind of nursing this burden along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Over the years, we have surveyed well over a thousand churches\u2014and I don\u2019t know how many tens of thousands of people\u2014asking questions about spiritual life, especially, as it shows up in a marriage relationship. These are not the exact numbers, but they are generally true. About 75 percent of us pray <em>for<\/em> our kids. About 35 percent of us pray <em>with<\/em> our kids. About 10 percent of married couples pray together occasionally, but less than 5 percent pray with their spouse every day, as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what you described there is that there are a lot of wives, right now, moving near the radio, going: \u201cOh, yes! You\u2019re talking about the longing of my soul.\u201d It really is what wives want from their husband. They want to be connected to God, but they want to be connected to Him <em>with<\/em> their husband. They want the journey to be together. You talked about walking side-by-side. What would you say to that wife, who is listening to us right now, who is losing heart in well-doing? She says: \u201cYou\u2019re describing my husband. He doesn\u2019t get it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve talked to a lot of women after speaking in different churches and different venues. A lot of the main messaging has gone to the men, but I\u2019ve been finding venues to speak where it\u2019s couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I would say to you is: \u201cCan you have the opportunity \/ find the opportunity to speak the truth in love, at the right time, to your husband\u2014to share your heart with him? The need you really have in your heart\u2014he already knows it. Bring it to bear\u2014not in a way of bashing him or guilting him out. He\u2019s already dealing with a lot of that, probably;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cbut to call him out, in a loving way, and to express your need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIn terms of the resource of this little book called <em>Just Say the Word<\/em>\u2014is there a way to put this in his hands?\u201d\u2014a short read \/ an easy read, challenging men to look at this compelling story\u2014a simple, doable path\u2014to step toward your wife for more regular and intentional spiritual connectedness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; your wife did that with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> She sure did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> She had a backlash. She said: \u201cThis is a mess. This is a rat\u2019s nest here in our marriage. I need you to step up.\u201d You said you raised your hands and said, \u201cGuilty as charged.\u201d What did you do then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Exactly. When God gave me that revelation, I said: \u201cVicki, honey, look\u2014I get it, and I commit to you.\u201d I raised my hand, like a vow\u2014almost like being back at the wedding altar again\u2014I said: \u201cVicki, we are going to pray together, but what we\u2019re going to do is we\u2019re going to pray the Word of God. Let\u2019s let the Word of God show us what to pray about rather than trying to make up prayers off the top of our head like we do extemporaneously.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam: <\/strong>That\u2019s fine, but you know what? I guess I\u2019m either not creative enough or not spiritual enough to pray with her on a really regular basis\u2014like sweeping the heavens with all kinds of impressive Thee\u2019s, and Thou\u2019s, and creative intercessions\u2014but <em>now<\/em>, we allow the Word of God to <em>show<\/em> us what to pray about. That was the path that we began on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe model is just very simple. It goes something like this\u2014there are three key words\u2014read, observe, and pray. For us, we started in the book of Hebrews; but I really recommend, oftentimes, men start with the book of Philippians. What you do is\u2014you sit down with your wife. You begin to read the Word of God. You read just a few verses\u2014not very many\u2014not a paragraph. We sit quietly to listen for the Holy Spirit\u2014to listen to how He speaks to our hearts: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLord, what is in this passage?\u201d\u2014not as a Bible study\u2014but, \u201cWhat do You want us to pray about from this text?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOftentimes, I ask my wife one of these profound theological questions\u2014something like this: \u201cHoney, what jumps out at you?\u201d It\u2019s just that simple: \u201cWhat jumps out at you?\u201d So, we\u2019re looking for a key word, an idea, a topic, a doctrine, a command, a blessing, praise\u2014whatever it might be\u2014then we use those prayer points as prayer <em>points<\/em>. We pray those things. We pray them, in particular, over our marriage and our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what\u2019s really exciting about <em>Just Say the Word<\/em> is\u2014I\u2019m calling men out to pray the Word, with their wife, over their kids\u2014to be a spiritual umbrella, as it were\u2014to call the Word of God and pray the Word over our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay, let\u2019s do that right here. I want you to illustrate. Obviously, your wife\u2019s not here to tell you what jumps out at her, but let\u2019s take one of Bob\u2019s favorite passages: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians, Chapter 2\u2014the first four verses\u2014is that good enough, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. I like those verses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Let\u2019s just illustrate how that would work with your wife, Vicki, in your marriage; and then I want you to illustrate how you\u2019d pray for her; okay? Bob, I\u2019ll let you pretend that you\u2019re Vicki. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Well, so let\u2019s read this text, then. It is Philippians, Chapter 2, verses 1 through 4:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.\u201d What a rich, full text this is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You think that applies to marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh, man. This is right on the mark\u2014but here\u2019s the point\u2014there\u2019s so much there. We\u2019re not trying to do a Bible study. So, I would say to: \u201cVicki\/Bob, what jumps out at you? What hits you from this passage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWell, I think the priority of unity that\u2019s talked about in verse 2, where it talks about being like-minded and having the same heart \/ the same interests.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I could hear a wife saying something like that, \u201cLike for us to be more unified, as a couple.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cAnd then, just the issue of selfishness in verse 3\u2014that jumped out\u2014just because I\u2019m so aware of how often that\u2019s what\u2019s driving my own heart is my selfishness. So, probably, those two things are what jumped out at me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes, so Paul is calling us to a unity\u2014a like-mindedness in spirit and purpose. What jumps out at me is in verse 4: \u201cEach of you should look not <em>only<\/em> [emphasis added]to your own interests, but also the interests of others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would note those things; and we would say, \u201cNow, let\u2019s pray together.\u201d By the way, I would try to encourage husband and wife to both pray, of course. We might pray something like this: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFather, we thank You for what we see today from the book of Philippians, in these first four verses of Chapter 2. Father, we pray that You would give Vicki and me, in our marriage, a united love in Jesus Christ; that this fellowship of the Spirit that you\u2019ve given to us\u2014this tenderness and compassion\u2014would become real. Lord, make our joy complete.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLord, fulfill like-mindedness in us with the same love that we, Lord, would be one in spirit and purpose, together and in our marriage. Lord, help us not to be so selfish. We are so given to that in our flesh\u2014to be selfish and have our own ambition \/ our own needs met as the focus\u2014vain conceit. Lord, fill us up for humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLord, help me to consider Vicki better than myself. Help Vicki to consider me better than her. Lord, help us <em>not<\/em> to look for our own interests, as we confess we are apt to do, but help us to look for the interests of others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Father, today, we pray over Christina, Nicole, and Stephanie. We pray over our son-in-law Brian and even our little granddaughter, Lila. We pray that this spirit of love and unity would cover their lives as well. I pray that this giving spirit\u2014this looking-out spirit\u2014would fill them to look out for the interests of other people that are around their lives\u2014that they not be selfish and have this vain conceit. Father\u2014call on us and our family\u2014to this unity, to this love, to this humility. We pray this today in Jesus\u2019 name. Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, you would lead and, then, Vicki would typically pray after you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Oh, we take turns\u2014it just depends. Sometimes, I only pray. Sometimes, she only prays. Sometimes, we pray together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would pray a little bit \/ stay quiet\u2014she would pray a few words\u2014whatever God leads us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell guys: \u201cDo what\u2019s comfortable in your marriage,\u201d\u2014there are all kinds of different situations that people are dealing with, especially when it comes to prayer and the Word\u2014but: \u201cCan you get to the Word of God together?\u2014because, sir, <em>this<\/em> <em>is<\/em> the Sword of the Spirit \/ this is the Word of God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re praying His will\u2014He wants to accomplish this in our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Exactly; exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to comment on a statement you made because I think a lot of guys think this way\u2014that you, somehow, have to scrape the Milky Way galaxy with theological terms and noble and lofty words. That\u2019s not what prayer is all about. Prayer is a conversation with God. Sometimes, you speak; and sometimes, you listen\u2014He speaks through His Word. He also speaks by His Spirit to us and convicts us of things that need to be confessed. I\u2019m sure, many times, with your wife\u2014you\u2019ve found yourself confessing selfishness after you\u2019ve read a passage like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Sure. You come to the Word of God, and it is convicting. It\u2019s the Sword of the Spirit\u2014the double-edged sword that pierces, dividing asunder of soul and spirit, joints and marrow\u2014a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Let\u2019s let the Word of God do the work in our marriage and going before our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We should just point out, too, that you call this expository prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Yes\u2014the book\u2014we know what expository preaching is. Expository preaching is when the preacher takes us through the Word, line by line \/ word by word: \u201cWhat is the text saying?\u201d Well, expository praying is the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I like it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Very powerful stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; and what I want to ask you is\u2014what every fisherman knows: \u201cIf you have a backlash on your reel,\u201d\u2014and Bob, you wouldn\u2019t know this because you\u2019ve not had a backlash.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It takes some work to undo all the mess you\u2019ve got in your reel after you get a backlash. I just want to know: \u201cWhat did this do for your backlash, Sam? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat about what your wife, Vicki, was feeling about, \u2018You have failed me\u2019?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> To say it, in brief, I guess I\u2019d say it truly has been a game-changer. We\u2019re approaching 40 years of marriage. In the last two years, I thank God that He has restored the years the locusts have eaten. As I\u2019ve shared this messaging over and over again with men, there have been many times when I\u2019ve actually just come to tears again, feeling like I\u2019ve lost so much time, for we\u2019d not prayed, regularly, for so many years, and, certainly, not prayed the Word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> But I tell guys, \u201cGod can restore the years the locusts have eaten.\u201d He\u2019s done that for us. It\u2019s just been a game-changer. Quite frankly, we\u2019ve always had a good marriage. It wasn\u2019t a struggle or a battle. We\u2019ve always had a good, loving marriage; but this dimension of a more\u2014again, spiritual connectedness \/ an enhanced walk with Christ, together\u2014it\u2019s just been a game-changer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know what I\u2019m going to do tonight. We always pray together before we go to bed at night. I\u2019m going to pray the Word\u2014pray expository.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sam:<\/strong> Pray the Word\u2014pray the Word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And frankly, this is good for somebody who feels like they may be in a rut in their prayer life, which we can all get into from time to time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you said that your book is a simple read \/ an easy read for guys. It\u2019s about 70 pages long\u2014it\u2019s not going to take you a long time. It is going to lay out for you, practically, how you can begin to cultivate this pattern in your marriage of praying together on a more regular basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there a lot of guys who are just under the pile on this\u2014they\u2019re thinking: \u201cI don\u2019t know. It\u2019s too late. We should have done this years ago.\u201d Well, there\u2019s no time like the present. We\u2019ve got this 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge going on right now. We\u2019re trying to equip husbands and wives to make it easier for you to be praying together in marriage. If our listeners want to sign up, they can get the daily prayer prompt that we\u2019re sending out via text message or via email so that you\u2019ve got some directions each day on how to pray for one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, get a copy of Sam\u2019s book and start this discipline of praying God\u2019s Word together every day. Sam\u2019s book is called <em>Just Say the Word. <\/em>If you want to sign up for the 30-Day Prayer Challenge, or if you want to order a copy of Sam\u2019s book, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d The information you need is available right there to either sign up for the prayer prompts each day or to order a copy of Sam Ingrassia\u2019s book, <em>Just Say the Word. <\/em>Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also quickly mention that this is the last week for those of you who want to sign up to attend one of our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this fall. We\u2019ve got a lot of great locations \/ great weekends set aside. If you sign up this week, you pay the regular rate for yourself; and your spouse comes at no additional cost. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s a buy one\/get one free opportunity that expires this weekend. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the information about the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway and the special offer that\u2019s available right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne last thing before we\u2019re done\u2014and that is a word of thanks to those of you who partner with us to make the ministry of FamilyLife possible. We\u2019re listener-supported. In fact, if you can help with a donation right now, we\u2019d like to send you our 2016 FamilyLife calendar. This calendar actually begins in October\u2014so it will give you a jumpstart on the year. The focus each month on this calendar is praying together, as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s our gift to you when you make a donation either, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d to make an online donation\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your donation over the phone\u20141-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how using God\u2019s Word as the template for your prayers can have a huge impact on your praying together in marriage. Sam Ingrassia is going to be back with us. I hope you can be back as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303654"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303654"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303654"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303654"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}