{"id":303652,"date":"2015-09-09T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-09-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/cherishing-your-spouse\/"},"modified":"2015-09-09T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-09-09T15:00:00","slug":"cherishing-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cherishing-your-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"Cherishing Your Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Did you realize your wedding dress was really a cheerleader uniform? David Delk reminds us that in marriage we get the privilege of cheering for, encouraging, and cherishing our spouse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.69M","filesize_raw":"25887960","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2810],"tags":[5817,2877,2210],"podcast_series":[7742],"cwp_profile":[9206],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303652","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-spiritually","tag-change-my-marriage","tag-marriage","tag-prayer","podcast_series-the-marriage-prayer","cwp_profile-david-delk","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303652\/cherishing-your-spouse","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303652\/cherishing-your-spouse","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"WZ4iKyRTTy\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cherishing-your-spouse\/\">Cherishing Your Spouse<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cherishing-your-spouse\/embed\/#?secret=WZ4iKyRTTy\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Cherishing Your Spouse&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"WZ4iKyRTTy\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the effects of being in Christ \/ being a Christian and trusting Christ with your life is that you\u2019re freed from your addiction to yourself. Here\u2019s David Delk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>The paradox of the gospel that Jesus talks about, where He says, \u201cIf you try to save your life, you\u2019re going to lose it; but if you lose your life for My sake, then you\u2019ll find it again.\u201d It lives itself out in our marriages in such incredible ways if you start looking for it because, when you start having an other-person focus rather than a self-focus, it is amazing to see how God begins to use that. When we really focus on the other person, at some point, most of us begin to experience this blessing back that is so much greater than what we would\u2019ve gotten had we been focused on ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about how praying for one another and praying <em>with<\/em> one another in marriage is one way that God helps us break our addiction to self. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. This is Day 9 in the FamilyLife Oneness Prayer Challenge \/ our 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge going on during the month of September. Got a lot of husbands and wives, who are joining with us, each day\u2014we\u2019re excited about that\u2014praying together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we\u2019re talking about acknowledging, in our prayer time together, that there is someone who wants your marriage to fail\u2014understanding that you have an enemy who is opposed to your marriage being strong, and vibrant, and God-glorifying. We\u2019re encouraging husbands to pray today with your wife that God would help the two of you grow together in your understanding of His purpose and design for your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re encouraging wives to pray with an awareness that the devil is opposed to your marriage and asking God to help both of you be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might\u2014from Ephesians, Chapter 6, verse 10. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not receiving the daily prayer prompts that we\u2019re sending out via text and email, you can sign up and join us in this 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. Even though it\u2019s Day 9, you can hop right in the middle of it and start praying each day, together, for your marriage. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and then look for information about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. Sign up\u2014it\u2019s free. We\u2019ll send you the prayer prompts each day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to think that, when husbands and wives do start praying together, Dennis, there are certain things that kind of become routine\u2014that you wind up repeating in your prayers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s true for me, and I\u2019ve heard <em>you <\/em>pray enough to know that there are certain phrases that show up in your prayers regularly. When you pray with Barbara each day, do those prayers start to sound similar? Are you repeating a similar pattern as you guys pray together each day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. There\u2019s a pattern of giving thanks for her and for what He\u2019s given us the privilege of doing and being a part of. A lot of times there\u2019s\u2014before we ask anything, we try to be careful to give thanks and to really express appreciation to God for His benefits and His blessings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason I bring it up is because we\u2019ve been talking, this week, about this idea of a marriage prayer\u2014a pattern that you follow, on a daily basis, in praying for one another in marriage. The benefit of that is it does keep orienting your thinking around some core ideas that are important to keep top of mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was God who created marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He created marriage\u2014man and woman in His image\u2014and He commissioned us to reflect His glory. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping us talk about how we do that is David Delk. He joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. David, glad you could join us again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Thanks so much for the opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>David is the President of Man in the Mirror. He has written a book called <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>\u2014coauthored that with Patrick Morley. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been talking about his marriage prayer. I want to focus in on where the prayer is different because what a woman prays for her husband and you have a prayer that is 68 words long.Now, her prayer says, \u201cI want to hear him, support him, and serve him.\u201d His prayer for her, \u201cI want to hear her,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the same\u2014\u201ccherish her,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s different\u2014and \u201cserve her.\u201d\u00a0 Really, the only one term is different, but how they get worked out is very different. Let\u2019s start with the husband: \u201cHow can a man better <em>hear<\/em> his wife?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Communication is one of the issues that we hear about <em>constantly<\/em> as we work with men and women about marriage. You\u2019ve probably heard the old thing, \u201cMen don\u2019t communicate.\u201d\u00a0 Actually, that\u2019s not true. If you have a guy that loves flying for a hobby and you start talking about planes, you\u2019ll get an earful\u2014[Laughter]\u2014or whatever it is. It\u2019s true that men communicate about what is interesting to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that we need to do in marriage\u2014and one of the things that this prayer is meant to do is\u2014if you\u2019re a man, who\u2019s never prayed before for his wife on a regular basis, and you start praying this prayer every day\u2014the idea is to help you understand that, when you listen to her, it\u2019s more than just about getting along with one another, or being happy, or whatever. God has granted you the privilege of helping your wife become everything that He wants her to be. A part of the way that\u2019s going to happen is by you communicating with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think you\u2019re making a great point here. If there are breakdowns in communication, it is oftentimes because we have not heard one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe may have heard the words\u2014I mean, MaryAnn will say to me\u2014sometimes, she\u2019ll think I\u2019m not listening; right?\u00a0 She\u2019ll say, \u201cAre you listening to me?\u201d\u00a0 I can feedback to her the line she just said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Generally, what she said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And she will say to me, \u201cThat\u2019s not the same as listening.\u201d [Laughter] The fact that you can spit back the line doesn\u2019t mean you were listening. The Apostle James says, \u201cLet everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve sometimes wondered if we were quick to listen and slow to speak, would that help us be slow to anger?\u00a0 I think it would. I think God\u2019s lining something out here, saying, \u201cLook, both of you, you just need to be listening well to each other.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really like the fact that you have put that in this prayer because, when we\u2019re talking about communication at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage conference, it\u2019s where we start\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we say, \u201cIf you want to improve your communication, it starts by being a better listener.\u201d Most of us think better communication means we do a better job at expressing ourselves. Well, that\u2019s important, too; but it starts with listening. If more couples would be committed to really hearing one another\u2014not just hearing the words \/ hearing what\u2019s behind the words and being able to say back to your spouse: \u201cI want to make sure I\u2019m hearing everything you\u2019re saying. Are you saying this\u2026?\u201d\u2014that can have a catalytic impact on a marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Oh, it\u2019s huge. The temptation is to give advice or an overly-quick reply. I remember, one day, we were struggling with something at the office. We had some decisions to make about computers, and we\u2019ve been researching for a couple of months and talked to four or five different experts. I came in at the end of the day; and Ruthie said, \u201cHow was your day?\u201d\u00a0 This was the last thing I was working on\u2014so I said, \u201cWe\u2019re about to make this big decision between this and the other thing.\u201d\u00a0 I explained it; and she said, \u201cWell, why don\u2019t you just\u2026?\u201d and she told me what she thought I should do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She went to fix-it mode; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, she would tell you\u2014she\u2019s not exactly a computer expert; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, all the things that immediately went through my mind\u2014I was smart enough not to say any of them. [Laughter] But here\u2019s what happened \/ here\u2019s where the Lord did\u2014the Lord turned it around on me and said: \u201cHow often, David, do you do that to her?\u00a0 How often has she been praying about something with the kids\u2014struggling with it, working on it every day, and she shares it with you\u2014and there, you\u2019ve got an answer?\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t need an answer. You need somebody to hear your heart and share that with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have a wife praying the same thing\u2014\u201cI want to hear him.\u201d What should a woman know in terms of hearing her husband because it seems, to me, that what it took Barbara 15 minutes to tell me about the yard\u2014if we\u2019d reversed this and I\u2019d done it\u2014I could have easily told you about the yard in 90 seconds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>[Laughter] You\u2019re pretty efficient with your words; aren\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>[Laughter] Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: \u201c<\/strong>Just cut to the chase\u2014get to the bottom line.\u201d Women need to realize, when her husband gives you the <em>Reader\u2019s Digest<\/em><sup>\u00a9<\/sup> version, she doesn\u2019t have to be satisfied with that\u2014she can follow up with a question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Peel the onion a little bit and find out what he\u2019s thinking about what\u2019s going on. Many times, if you ask those questions, he\u2019s going to find out what he\u2019s thinking. He may not know when he\u2019s sharing the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. Guys will give you that information because, often, guys are more about conveying data or information. If you called someone on the phone, and had to tell them something\u2014and the guy said, \u201cOh, John already told me,\u201d\u2014that would be a relief to you, as a man, probably. You\u2019d be like: \u201cOh great, I don\u2019t have to spend three minutes telling you about this meeting or whatever. Fantastic!\u00a0 See you.\u201d\u00a0 Now, the last time your wife started to tell you something and you said, \u201cOh, I already know what you\u2019re going to say.\u201d That probably didn\u2019t go so well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Because it\u2019s not about the information or the data\u2014it\u2019s about the experience and the sharing of the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: \u201cBe quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.\u201d Alright, so we both pray, \u201cI want to hear him,\u201d \/ \u201cI want to hear her.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a part of the marriage prayer that you suggested for us, as couples.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the next point is where it diverges. A wife prays, \u201cI want to support him.\u201d\u00a0 Why did you pick that word or that idea and put that in?\u00a0 I mean, this is the one departure point in the prayer between men and women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I want to know why you didn\u2019t put the word, \u201csubmission,\u201d right there! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, we really were looking at the biblical idea of men and women and how God has made us. There\u2019s lots of ways to talk about a man\u2019s greatest need\u2014respect or other things. One of the things that we say is \u201csignificance\u201d\u2014a man wants to believe that he\u2019s involved in something that matters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think about how you would relate to someone so that they would feel significant, to support them is going to help them experience that reality. That\u2019s one of the things that men need from their wives\u2014is that feeling of support, as a man, in what God\u2019s calling them to do\u2014as a husband, as a father, as a worker, as a church man, and all those relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the wives, who speaks at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage conferences\u2014her name\u2019s Robyn McKelvy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobyn lives in Nashville with her husband Ray. Ray\u2019s on a church staff there. They\u2019re a great couple\u2014they speak together at the conferences. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe shared an illustration that has just stuck with me, and I think that it is very true. She said, \u201cWhen I was in high school,\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cI was a cheerleader.\u201d\u00a0 She said: \u201cOur team didn\u2019t do very well. They tried hard \/ they worked hard,\u201d but she said, \u201cThere\u2014a lot of nights that\u2014there, in the fourth quarter, you were cheering for a lost cause. You knew the game was over. You knew if your guys were having a bad night.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cWhat you did\u2014was you kept cheering for them\u2014you kept encouraging them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe takes that illustration, and then she turns to the women at the conference, and she says: \u201cLadies, your wedding dress is a cheerleader uniform. Your husband needs you to be cheering him on.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Wow, that\u2019s powerful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The support you\u2019re talking about is really that encouragement, that affirmation,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat believing in him\u2014along with maybe some tangible ways that you can come alongside and support him\u2014but there is something really profound about a wife who says, \u201cI believe in you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. \u201cI\u2019m behind you,\u201d\u2014absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, here\u2019s a part of the prayer where Ruthie prays this over you, \u201cI want to hear him, support him, and serve him.\u201d\u00a0 Back to the support idea, how does she support you then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, I think one of the things that she demonstrates to me, consistently, is that she\u2019s willing to help me pursue the things that I believe that God wants me to do. For example, I teach the middle school boys at my church. We have the middle school Manhood Adventure on Sunday mornings. She\u2019s right there\u2014she\u2019s helping me with any kind of administrative stuff that we need. We do a party every year that\u2019s a rite-of-passage kind of thing for the guys\u2014she\u2019s right involved in that. I could on and on and on with the other things. What she\u2019s saying to me is, \u201cDavid, if you find some things that you think God wants you to do, you know I\u2019m going to be here with you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, let\u2019s go to the other side of the prayer. Men are praying over their wives, \u201cI want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her.\u201d The word, \u201ccherish,\u201d in Ephesians, Chapter 5, means to \u201cwarm up,\u201d\u2014it means to kind of nurture it so that it\u2019s pliable and it\u2019s ready to grow. How have you prayed this over your wife, and then cherished her, and warmed her up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, I think this gets at what we would talk about a woman\u2019s greatest need. Again, there are many ways to talk about these things. Some would say, \u201cSecurity\u201d; and another word might be \u201cintimacy.\u201d I think cherishing definitely creates that feeling of intimacy\u2014that they\u2019re valuable \/ that they\u2019re loved\u2014that there\u2019s that security that we\u2019ve talked about earlier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, with Ruthie, a lot of it gets back to the communication that we talked about\u2014hearing her\u2014demonstrating an interest in her, as a person. One of the things that God has done\u2014really through this prayer and other things in my life in the last five or six years\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014has helped me understand that I have a role in ministry \/ in my love for her to help her become everything that God wants her to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, it\u2019s not just loving her so we don\u2019t have arguments in the home, or that we get along together, or whatever; but there\u2019s a goal here, much like the Scriptures say, \u201cChrist loved the church.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m thinking: \u201cHow can I help Ruthie grow?\u00a0 What can I do?\u00a0 How can I contribute to that?\u00a0 What does she need to hear from me?\u00a0 What opportunities should she pursue?\u00a0 How can I show her that I cherish her and love her so that she has the freedom to grow into the person that God wants her to be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the things that we do at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014I hate to keep bringing this up\u2014but it just fits, hand in glove, with what you\u2019ve written here, in <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>. We give couples an opportunity, at the end of the conference, to restate their vows to one another. For many of them, it\u2019s more meaningful than the first time they shared their vows because the first time they didn\u2019t what they were getting themselves into and, now, they know. They will look one another in the eye and say, \u201c\u2026for better, for worse\u2026\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve had a little bit of that under your belt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was speaking at one of these conferences, not long ago. At the end of it, a couple came up to me; and the wife was a little put out. She said, \u201cI was upset in these vows that you had us say because for the husbands, you had them say, \u2018cherish,\u2019 for the wives, you had us say, \u2018support\u2019\u201d\u2014or\u2014\u201c\u2018submit,\u2019\u201d\u2014I forget which one it was. She said, \u201cThose don\u2019t feel like equivalent terms to me.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt feels like I am promising something bigger and more sacrificial than cherish.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked at her and I said, \u201cWhat do you think of when you think of the word, \u2018cherish\u2019? What does that unpack?\u201d\u00a0 The more we talked about it, tears started to come into her eyes. She started to well up; and she said, \u201cYou know, maybe the reason I haven\u2019t seen it as significant is because I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever felt cherished in my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Wow. Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She wasn\u2019t really pointing at her husband and saying, \u201cHe\u2019s a lousy guy,\u201d \/ she\u2019s just saying, \u201cI\u2019ve never felt valued.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve always felt like,\u201d\u2014as we talked about it, she\u2019s always felt like her worth was only valued if she performed a particular way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>To hear what we were talking about\u2014this idea that you are valuable just for who you are\u2014cherished, prized, important, set apart\u2014\u201cI pick you to be the one to cherish and lavish that on,\u201d\u2014by the time it was done, she felt a little different about saying, \u201cHe\u2019s promised to cherish me\u2014that\u2019s a big deal.\u201d\u00a0 I think we can throw that around kind of flippantly; but to say, \u201cI will cherish someone,\u201d is really a setting apart above all others. It\u2019s a statement of worth and nobility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>It is, and it is above self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get into that sacrifice\u2014that sacrificial love that Christ calls us to, as husbands \/ and I believe\u2014and wives as well\u2014that we would lay down our lives for our spouse because to cherish someone means that you\u2019re going to think about them before you think about yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. A part of what you write about in your book is a piece of this is romance. When men hear that word, they immediately think of sex. When a woman hears the word, she goes back to the word you used earlier\u2014which is intimacy \/ they\u2019re looking for relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a husband needs to realize, as he prays this over his wife \/ as he does cherish her\u2014if he wants to romance her, he needs to find a way to meet her on a romantic playing field that meets her needs\u2014for intimacy, for time together, for conversation\u2014which doesn\u2019t come naturally to a lot of us, as men, and lay aside what he\u2019d like to think romance is\u2014and meet her needs, as a wife, and as his friend, and partner in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s interesting because\u2014in the area of romance, and the area of sexuality, and so many of these places\u2014the paradox of the gospel that Jesus talks about\u2014where He says, \u201cIf you try to save your life, you\u2019re going to lose it; but if you lose your life for My sake, then you\u2019ll find it again,\u201d\u2014it lives itself out in our marriages in such incredible ways if you start looking for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you start having an other-person focus rather than a self-focus, it is amazing to see how God begins to use that in an area of romance, or an area of communication, or in an area of sexuality. When we really focus on the other person, at some point, most of us begin to experience this blessing back that is so much greater than what we would\u2019ve gotten had we been focused on ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and if I\u2019m using your marriage prayer\u2014your 68 words\u2014and every day, I am praying, \u201cI want to hear her,\u201d guess what? That\u2019s going to cause me to stop and think:\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay, I need to hear her today. I want to cherish her: \u2018How do I demonstrate that? How can I show her that she\u2019s valued?\u2019 And, I want to serve her.\u201d That really is that inverse kind of thing\u2014that\u2019s that Philippians 2, \u201cConsider one another as more important than yourself.\u201d If that\u2019s in place in a marriage, that\u2019s going to take care of 95 percent of the conflict issues that are going to come up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. It occurs to me that there may have been a listener, who tuned in a little bit later, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You weren\u2019t quite sure what we were talking about\u2014a marriage prayer. What David has done, along with Patrick Morley, is put together a prayer that he encourages a husband to pray over his wife and a wife to pray with her husband on a daily basis. You actually make a promise or some allusion in here\u2014that, if they\u2019ll do this for\u2014how many days?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>We try to get people started for 21 days because we want to take folks that\u2014you may be listening, and you may have never prayed for your spouse before. It only takes about 90 seconds \/ 2 minutes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do this every day. You can print out a copy of the prayer\u2014put it on your mirror, put it on your steering wheel, put it on your computer\u2014somewhere that you\u2019ll see it every day\u2014and begin that journey of praying for your spouse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t always have to do it <em>with <\/em>your spouse\u2014although, I\u2019d recommend maybe for the first 20 days\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I like it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that you pray out loud with your spouse and pray these words. As we\u2019ve said, repeatedly, on these broadcasts: \u201cIt\u2019s not the words of the prayer that matter. It\u2019s that the words are a reflection of a heart attitude.\u201d So, when you pray the prayer: \u201cI said, \u2018Till death do us part;\u2019\u2014I want to mean that.\u201d That really is the attitude of that prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid, I want to thank you for your work on your book\u2014and what you and Patrick have done\u2014and also for your work with the ministry, Man in the Mirror, with churches all over the country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got to strengthen, and equip, and do a better job of helping men fulfill their assignments in the home, in business, and in the culture because, frankly, a lot of the ills of our nation right now go back to a lack of male leadership. I just want to express my appreciation to you for all that you guys are doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Thank you so much. It\u2019s great to be here. I love the emphasis on the family and the role that it has, and it\u2019s just a pleasure and an honor to be with you today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And we love your emphasis on prayer and encouraging couples to pray together. Obviously, that\u2019s something that we feel passionately about as well. We\u2019ve got this 30- Day Oneness Prayer Challenge that\u2019s going on right now. I\u2019d encourage listeners\u2014if they\u2019re not signed up for it yet, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You can sign up to have a text message or an email sent to you each day with a prayer prompt that will give you step-by-step guidance on how you can pray together, as a couple, on that particular day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019ve got copies of that prayer we\u2019ve talked about with you this week\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the marriage prayer that is at the heart of the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>The Marriage Prayer.<\/em> If our listeners are interested in getting the prayer as a download or if they\u2019d like a copy of your book\u2014again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You can order David\u2019s book, <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>, or you can download the prayer we\u2019ve talked about this week and have that available as a pattern for praying together in your marriage each day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I want to finally remind folks that this is the last week we\u2019re making available a special offer for our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways that we\u2019re hosting this fall. We\u2019ve got about 30 of these events happening in cities all across the country. If you sign up this week, you pay the regular rate for yourself; and your spouse comes at no additional cost. If you want to take advantage of that special offer, we need to hear from this week. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we want to give a shout-out today to those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. We are listener-supported. The cost that is associated with producing and syndicating this daily radio program is covered by folks, like you, who will, occasionally, make a contribution in support of this ministry or those of you who, each month, provide financial support for us. We appreciate your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your support today,\u201d if you can help with a donation. We will send you the 2016 FamilyLife calendar. The focus of the calendar this year is prayer. This gives you an opportunity, each month, to pray together, as a family\u2014kind of directs your thinking and your praying together each month. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you support the ministry today with a donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation that way; or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. Just mention that you would like the prayer calendar when you call to make a donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about how we can pray together with God\u2019s Word at the center of our prayers. Sam Ingrassia is going to join us. We\u2019ll talk about husbands leading their wives in prayer and how he began this practice in his own marriage. Hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a ministry of Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.69M"],"filesize_raw":["25887960"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303652.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303652.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you realize your wedding dress was really a cheerleader uniform? David Delk reminds us that in marriage we get the privilege of cheering for, encouraging, and cherishing our spouse.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the effects of being in Christ \/ being a Christian and trusting Christ with your life is that you\u2019re freed from your addiction to yourself. Here\u2019s David Delk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>The paradox of the gospel that Jesus talks about, where He says, \u201cIf you try to save your life, you\u2019re going to lose it; but if you lose your life for My sake, then you\u2019ll find it again.\u201d It lives itself out in our marriages in such incredible ways if you start looking for it because, when you start having an other-person focus rather than a self-focus, it is amazing to see how God begins to use that. When we really focus on the other person, at some point, most of us begin to experience this blessing back that is so much greater than what we would\u2019ve gotten had we been focused on ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about how praying for one another and praying <em>with<\/em> one another in marriage is one way that God helps us break our addiction to self. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. This is Day 9 in the FamilyLife Oneness Prayer Challenge \/ our 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge going on during the month of September. Got a lot of husbands and wives, who are joining with us, each day\u2014we\u2019re excited about that\u2014praying together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we\u2019re talking about acknowledging, in our prayer time together, that there is someone who wants your marriage to fail\u2014understanding that you have an enemy who is opposed to your marriage being strong, and vibrant, and God-glorifying. We\u2019re encouraging husbands to pray today with your wife that God would help the two of you grow together in your understanding of His purpose and design for your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re encouraging wives to pray with an awareness that the devil is opposed to your marriage and asking God to help both of you be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might\u2014from Ephesians, Chapter 6, verse 10. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not receiving the daily prayer prompts that we\u2019re sending out via text and email, you can sign up and join us in this 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. Even though it\u2019s Day 9, you can hop right in the middle of it and start praying each day, together, for your marriage. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and then look for information about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. Sign up\u2014it\u2019s free. We\u2019ll send you the prayer prompts each day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to think that, when husbands and wives do start praying together, Dennis, there are certain things that kind of become routine\u2014that you wind up repeating in your prayers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s true for me, and I\u2019ve heard <em>you <\/em>pray enough to know that there are certain phrases that show up in your prayers regularly. When you pray with Barbara each day, do those prayers start to sound similar? Are you repeating a similar pattern as you guys pray together each day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. There\u2019s a pattern of giving thanks for her and for what He\u2019s given us the privilege of doing and being a part of. A lot of times there\u2019s\u2014before we ask anything, we try to be careful to give thanks and to really express appreciation to God for His benefits and His blessings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason I bring it up is because we\u2019ve been talking, this week, about this idea of a marriage prayer\u2014a pattern that you follow, on a daily basis, in praying for one another in marriage. The benefit of that is it does keep orienting your thinking around some core ideas that are important to keep top of mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was God who created marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He created marriage\u2014man and woman in His image\u2014and He commissioned us to reflect His glory. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelping us talk about how we do that is David Delk. He joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. David, glad you could join us again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Thanks so much for the opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>David is the President of Man in the Mirror. He has written a book called <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>\u2014coauthored that with Patrick Morley. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been talking about his marriage prayer. I want to focus in on where the prayer is different because what a woman prays for her husband and you have a prayer that is 68 words long.Now, her prayer says, \u201cI want to hear him, support him, and serve him.\u201d His prayer for her, \u201cI want to hear her,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the same\u2014\u201ccherish her,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s different\u2014and \u201cserve her.\u201d\u00a0 Really, the only one term is different, but how they get worked out is very different. Let\u2019s start with the husband: \u201cHow can a man better <em>hear<\/em> his wife?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Communication is one of the issues that we hear about <em>constantly<\/em> as we work with men and women about marriage. You\u2019ve probably heard the old thing, \u201cMen don\u2019t communicate.\u201d\u00a0 Actually, that\u2019s not true. If you have a guy that loves flying for a hobby and you start talking about planes, you\u2019ll get an earful\u2014[Laughter]\u2014or whatever it is. It\u2019s true that men communicate about what is interesting to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that we need to do in marriage\u2014and one of the things that this prayer is meant to do is\u2014if you\u2019re a man, who\u2019s never prayed before for his wife on a regular basis, and you start praying this prayer every day\u2014the idea is to help you understand that, when you listen to her, it\u2019s more than just about getting along with one another, or being happy, or whatever. God has granted you the privilege of helping your wife become everything that He wants her to be. A part of the way that\u2019s going to happen is by you communicating with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think you\u2019re making a great point here. If there are breakdowns in communication, it is oftentimes because we have not heard one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe may have heard the words\u2014I mean, MaryAnn will say to me\u2014sometimes, she\u2019ll think I\u2019m not listening; right?\u00a0 She\u2019ll say, \u201cAre you listening to me?\u201d\u00a0 I can feedback to her the line she just said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Generally, what she said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And she will say to me, \u201cThat\u2019s not the same as listening.\u201d [Laughter] The fact that you can spit back the line doesn\u2019t mean you were listening. The Apostle James says, \u201cLet everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve sometimes wondered if we were quick to listen and slow to speak, would that help us be slow to anger?\u00a0 I think it would. I think God\u2019s lining something out here, saying, \u201cLook, both of you, you just need to be listening well to each other.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really like the fact that you have put that in this prayer because, when we\u2019re talking about communication at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage conference, it\u2019s where we start\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we say, \u201cIf you want to improve your communication, it starts by being a better listener.\u201d Most of us think better communication means we do a better job at expressing ourselves. Well, that\u2019s important, too; but it starts with listening. If more couples would be committed to really hearing one another\u2014not just hearing the words \/ hearing what\u2019s behind the words and being able to say back to your spouse: \u201cI want to make sure I\u2019m hearing everything you\u2019re saying. Are you saying this\u2026?\u201d\u2014that can have a catalytic impact on a marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Oh, it\u2019s huge. The temptation is to give advice or an overly-quick reply. I remember, one day, we were struggling with something at the office. We had some decisions to make about computers, and we\u2019ve been researching for a couple of months and talked to four or five different experts. I came in at the end of the day; and Ruthie said, \u201cHow was your day?\u201d\u00a0 This was the last thing I was working on\u2014so I said, \u201cWe\u2019re about to make this big decision between this and the other thing.\u201d\u00a0 I explained it; and she said, \u201cWell, why don\u2019t you just\u2026?\u201d and she told me what she thought I should do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She went to fix-it mode; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, she would tell you\u2014she\u2019s not exactly a computer expert; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, all the things that immediately went through my mind\u2014I was smart enough not to say any of them. [Laughter] But here\u2019s what happened \/ here\u2019s where the Lord did\u2014the Lord turned it around on me and said: \u201cHow often, David, do you do that to her?\u00a0 How often has she been praying about something with the kids\u2014struggling with it, working on it every day, and she shares it with you\u2014and there, you\u2019ve got an answer?\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t need an answer. You need somebody to hear your heart and share that with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have a wife praying the same thing\u2014\u201cI want to hear him.\u201d What should a woman know in terms of hearing her husband because it seems, to me, that what it took Barbara 15 minutes to tell me about the yard\u2014if we\u2019d reversed this and I\u2019d done it\u2014I could have easily told you about the yard in 90 seconds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>[Laughter] You\u2019re pretty efficient with your words; aren\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>[Laughter] Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: \u201c<\/strong>Just cut to the chase\u2014get to the bottom line.\u201d Women need to realize, when her husband gives you the <em>Reader\u2019s Digest<\/em><sup>\u00a9<\/sup> version, she doesn\u2019t have to be satisfied with that\u2014she can follow up with a question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Peel the onion a little bit and find out what he\u2019s thinking about what\u2019s going on. Many times, if you ask those questions, he\u2019s going to find out what he\u2019s thinking. He may not know when he\u2019s sharing the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right. Guys will give you that information because, often, guys are more about conveying data or information. If you called someone on the phone, and had to tell them something\u2014and the guy said, \u201cOh, John already told me,\u201d\u2014that would be a relief to you, as a man, probably. You\u2019d be like: \u201cOh great, I don\u2019t have to spend three minutes telling you about this meeting or whatever. Fantastic!\u00a0 See you.\u201d\u00a0 Now, the last time your wife started to tell you something and you said, \u201cOh, I already know what you\u2019re going to say.\u201d That probably didn\u2019t go so well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Because it\u2019s not about the information or the data\u2014it\u2019s about the experience and the sharing of the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: \u201cBe quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.\u201d Alright, so we both pray, \u201cI want to hear him,\u201d \/ \u201cI want to hear her.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a part of the marriage prayer that you suggested for us, as couples.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the next point is where it diverges. A wife prays, \u201cI want to support him.\u201d\u00a0 Why did you pick that word or that idea and put that in?\u00a0 I mean, this is the one departure point in the prayer between men and women.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, I want to know why you didn\u2019t put the word, \u201csubmission,\u201d right there! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, we really were looking at the biblical idea of men and women and how God has made us. There\u2019s lots of ways to talk about a man\u2019s greatest need\u2014respect or other things. One of the things that we say is \u201csignificance\u201d\u2014a man wants to believe that he\u2019s involved in something that matters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think about how you would relate to someone so that they would feel significant, to support them is going to help them experience that reality. That\u2019s one of the things that men need from their wives\u2014is that feeling of support, as a man, in what God\u2019s calling them to do\u2014as a husband, as a father, as a worker, as a church man, and all those relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the wives, who speaks at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage conferences\u2014her name\u2019s Robyn McKelvy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRobyn lives in Nashville with her husband Ray. Ray\u2019s on a church staff there. They\u2019re a great couple\u2014they speak together at the conferences. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe shared an illustration that has just stuck with me, and I think that it is very true. She said, \u201cWhen I was in high school,\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cI was a cheerleader.\u201d\u00a0 She said: \u201cOur team didn\u2019t do very well. They tried hard \/ they worked hard,\u201d but she said, \u201cThere\u2014a lot of nights that\u2014there, in the fourth quarter, you were cheering for a lost cause. You knew the game was over. You knew if your guys were having a bad night.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cWhat you did\u2014was you kept cheering for them\u2014you kept encouraging them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe takes that illustration, and then she turns to the women at the conference, and she says: \u201cLadies, your wedding dress is a cheerleader uniform. Your husband needs you to be cheering him on.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Wow, that\u2019s powerful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The support you\u2019re talking about is really that encouragement, that affirmation,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat believing in him\u2014along with maybe some tangible ways that you can come alongside and support him\u2014but there is something really profound about a wife who says, \u201cI believe in you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. \u201cI\u2019m behind you,\u201d\u2014absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, here\u2019s a part of the prayer where Ruthie prays this over you, \u201cI want to hear him, support him, and serve him.\u201d\u00a0 Back to the support idea, how does she support you then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, I think one of the things that she demonstrates to me, consistently, is that she\u2019s willing to help me pursue the things that I believe that God wants me to do. For example, I teach the middle school boys at my church. We have the middle school Manhood Adventure on Sunday mornings. She\u2019s right there\u2014she\u2019s helping me with any kind of administrative stuff that we need. We do a party every year that\u2019s a rite-of-passage kind of thing for the guys\u2014she\u2019s right involved in that. I could on and on and on with the other things. What she\u2019s saying to me is, \u201cDavid, if you find some things that you think God wants you to do, you know I\u2019m going to be here with you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, let\u2019s go to the other side of the prayer. Men are praying over their wives, \u201cI want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her.\u201d The word, \u201ccherish,\u201d in Ephesians, Chapter 5, means to \u201cwarm up,\u201d\u2014it means to kind of nurture it so that it\u2019s pliable and it\u2019s ready to grow. How have you prayed this over your wife, and then cherished her, and warmed her up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, I think this gets at what we would talk about a woman\u2019s greatest need. Again, there are many ways to talk about these things. Some would say, \u201cSecurity\u201d; and another word might be \u201cintimacy.\u201d I think cherishing definitely creates that feeling of intimacy\u2014that they\u2019re valuable \/ that they\u2019re loved\u2014that there\u2019s that security that we\u2019ve talked about earlier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, with Ruthie, a lot of it gets back to the communication that we talked about\u2014hearing her\u2014demonstrating an interest in her, as a person. One of the things that God has done\u2014really through this prayer and other things in my life in the last five or six years\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014has helped me understand that I have a role in ministry \/ in my love for her to help her become everything that God wants her to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, it\u2019s not just loving her so we don\u2019t have arguments in the home, or that we get along together, or whatever; but there\u2019s a goal here, much like the Scriptures say, \u201cChrist loved the church.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m thinking: \u201cHow can I help Ruthie grow?\u00a0 What can I do?\u00a0 How can I contribute to that?\u00a0 What does she need to hear from me?\u00a0 What opportunities should she pursue?\u00a0 How can I show her that I cherish her and love her so that she has the freedom to grow into the person that God wants her to be?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the things that we do at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014I hate to keep bringing this up\u2014but it just fits, hand in glove, with what you\u2019ve written here, in <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>. We give couples an opportunity, at the end of the conference, to restate their vows to one another. For many of them, it\u2019s more meaningful than the first time they shared their vows because the first time they didn\u2019t what they were getting themselves into and, now, they know. They will look one another in the eye and say, \u201c\u2026for better, for worse\u2026\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve had a little bit of that under your belt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was speaking at one of these conferences, not long ago. At the end of it, a couple came up to me; and the wife was a little put out. She said, \u201cI was upset in these vows that you had us say because for the husbands, you had them say, \u2018cherish,\u2019 for the wives, you had us say, \u2018support\u2019\u201d\u2014or\u2014\u201c\u2018submit,\u2019\u201d\u2014I forget which one it was. She said, \u201cThose don\u2019t feel like equivalent terms to me.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt feels like I am promising something bigger and more sacrificial than cherish.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked at her and I said, \u201cWhat do you think of when you think of the word, \u2018cherish\u2019? What does that unpack?\u201d\u00a0 The more we talked about it, tears started to come into her eyes. She started to well up; and she said, \u201cYou know, maybe the reason I haven\u2019t seen it as significant is because I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever felt cherished in my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Wow. Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She wasn\u2019t really pointing at her husband and saying, \u201cHe\u2019s a lousy guy,\u201d \/ she\u2019s just saying, \u201cI\u2019ve never felt valued.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019ve always felt like,\u201d\u2014as we talked about it, she\u2019s always felt like her worth was only valued if she performed a particular way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>To hear what we were talking about\u2014this idea that you are valuable just for who you are\u2014cherished, prized, important, set apart\u2014\u201cI pick you to be the one to cherish and lavish that on,\u201d\u2014by the time it was done, she felt a little different about saying, \u201cHe\u2019s promised to cherish me\u2014that\u2019s a big deal.\u201d\u00a0 I think we can throw that around kind of flippantly; but to say, \u201cI will cherish someone,\u201d is really a setting apart above all others. It\u2019s a statement of worth and nobility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>It is, and it is above self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get into that sacrifice\u2014that sacrificial love that Christ calls us to, as husbands \/ and I believe\u2014and wives as well\u2014that we would lay down our lives for our spouse because to cherish someone means that you\u2019re going to think about them before you think about yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. A part of what you write about in your book is a piece of this is romance. When men hear that word, they immediately think of sex. When a woman hears the word, she goes back to the word you used earlier\u2014which is intimacy \/ they\u2019re looking for relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a husband needs to realize, as he prays this over his wife \/ as he does cherish her\u2014if he wants to romance her, he needs to find a way to meet her on a romantic playing field that meets her needs\u2014for intimacy, for time together, for conversation\u2014which doesn\u2019t come naturally to a lot of us, as men, and lay aside what he\u2019d like to think romance is\u2014and meet her needs, as a wife, and as his friend, and partner in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s interesting because\u2014in the area of romance, and the area of sexuality, and so many of these places\u2014the paradox of the gospel that Jesus talks about\u2014where He says, \u201cIf you try to save your life, you\u2019re going to lose it; but if you lose your life for My sake, then you\u2019ll find it again,\u201d\u2014it lives itself out in our marriages in such incredible ways if you start looking for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you start having an other-person focus rather than a self-focus, it is amazing to see how God begins to use that in an area of romance, or an area of communication, or in an area of sexuality. When we really focus on the other person, at some point, most of us begin to experience this blessing back that is so much greater than what we would\u2019ve gotten had we been focused on ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and if I\u2019m using your marriage prayer\u2014your 68 words\u2014and every day, I am praying, \u201cI want to hear her,\u201d guess what? That\u2019s going to cause me to stop and think:\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay, I need to hear her today. I want to cherish her: \u2018How do I demonstrate that? How can I show her that she\u2019s valued?\u2019 And, I want to serve her.\u201d That really is that inverse kind of thing\u2014that\u2019s that Philippians 2, \u201cConsider one another as more important than yourself.\u201d If that\u2019s in place in a marriage, that\u2019s going to take care of 95 percent of the conflict issues that are going to come up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. It occurs to me that there may have been a listener, who tuned in a little bit later, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You weren\u2019t quite sure what we were talking about\u2014a marriage prayer. What David has done, along with Patrick Morley, is put together a prayer that he encourages a husband to pray over his wife and a wife to pray with her husband on a daily basis. You actually make a promise or some allusion in here\u2014that, if they\u2019ll do this for\u2014how many days?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>We try to get people started for 21 days because we want to take folks that\u2014you may be listening, and you may have never prayed for your spouse before. It only takes about 90 seconds \/ 2 minutes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do this every day. You can print out a copy of the prayer\u2014put it on your mirror, put it on your steering wheel, put it on your computer\u2014somewhere that you\u2019ll see it every day\u2014and begin that journey of praying for your spouse.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t always have to do it <em>with <\/em>your spouse\u2014although, I\u2019d recommend maybe for the first 20 days\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I like it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that you pray out loud with your spouse and pray these words. As we\u2019ve said, repeatedly, on these broadcasts: \u201cIt\u2019s not the words of the prayer that matter. It\u2019s that the words are a reflection of a heart attitude.\u201d So, when you pray the prayer: \u201cI said, \u2018Till death do us part;\u2019\u2014I want to mean that.\u201d That really is the attitude of that prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid, I want to thank you for your work on your book\u2014and what you and Patrick have done\u2014and also for your work with the ministry, Man in the Mirror, with churches all over the country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got to strengthen, and equip, and do a better job of helping men fulfill their assignments in the home, in business, and in the culture because, frankly, a lot of the ills of our nation right now go back to a lack of male leadership. I just want to express my appreciation to you for all that you guys are doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Thank you so much. It\u2019s great to be here. I love the emphasis on the family and the role that it has, and it\u2019s just a pleasure and an honor to be with you today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And we love your emphasis on prayer and encouraging couples to pray together. Obviously, that\u2019s something that we feel passionately about as well. We\u2019ve got this 30- Day Oneness Prayer Challenge that\u2019s going on right now. I\u2019d encourage listeners\u2014if they\u2019re not signed up for it yet, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You can sign up to have a text message or an email sent to you each day with a prayer prompt that will give you step-by-step guidance on how you can pray together, as a couple, on that particular day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019ve got copies of that prayer we\u2019ve talked about with you this week\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the marriage prayer that is at the heart of the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>The Marriage Prayer.<\/em> If our listeners are interested in getting the prayer as a download or if they\u2019d like a copy of your book\u2014again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You can order David\u2019s book, <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>, or you can download the prayer we\u2019ve talked about this week and have that available as a pattern for praying together in your marriage each day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I want to finally remind folks that this is the last week we\u2019re making available a special offer for our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways that we\u2019re hosting this fall. We\u2019ve got about 30 of these events happening in cities all across the country. If you sign up this week, you pay the regular rate for yourself; and your spouse comes at no additional cost. If you want to take advantage of that special offer, we need to hear from this week. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and find out more about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we want to give a shout-out today to those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. We are listener-supported. The cost that is associated with producing and syndicating this daily radio program is covered by folks, like you, who will, occasionally, make a contribution in support of this ministry or those of you who, each month, provide financial support for us. We appreciate your partnership with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your support today,\u201d if you can help with a donation. We will send you the 2016 FamilyLife calendar. The focus of the calendar this year is prayer. This gives you an opportunity, each month, to pray together, as a family\u2014kind of directs your thinking and your praying together each month. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you support the ministry today with a donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d You can make an online donation that way; or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-FL-TODAY. Just mention that you would like the prayer calendar when you call to make a donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about how we can pray together with God\u2019s Word at the center of our prayers. Sam Ingrassia is going to join us. We\u2019ll talk about husbands leading their wives in prayer and how he began this practice in his own marriage. Hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a ministry of Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303652","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303652"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303652"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303652"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303652"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303652"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303652"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303652"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}