{"id":303648,"date":"2015-09-07T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-09-07T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/68-words-to-change-your-marriage\/"},"modified":"2015-09-07T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-09-07T15:00:00","slug":"68-words-to-change-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/68-words-to-change-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"68 Words to Change Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you regularly praying for your spouse? David Delk introduces the Marriage Prayer-68 powerful words that can change the direction of your marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.1M","filesize_raw":"25271383","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2810],"tags":[5817,2877,2210],"podcast_series":[7742],"cwp_profile":[9206],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303648","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-spiritually","tag-change-my-marriage","tag-marriage","tag-prayer","podcast_series-the-marriage-prayer","cwp_profile-david-delk","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303648\/68-words-to-change-your-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303648\/68-words-to-change-your-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"1tf0OB5Ke5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/68-words-to-change-your-marriage\/\">68 Words to Change Your Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/68-words-to-change-your-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=1tf0OB5Ke5\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;68 Words to Change Your Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"1tf0OB5Ke5\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The strongest marriages, according to David Delk, come when a husband and wife begin to see that ultimately their marriage is not about them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Ruthie and I did a retreat, and we had the couples break up\u2014men on one side \/ women on the other side\u2014and we had them fill out some Post-it<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> flip chart paper that said, \u201cIf only she\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d And then the women did, \u201cIf only he\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d The point that we made afterwards was\u2014we said: \u201cLook at the answers that you came up with. Most of them are funny \/ some of them are serious, but they\u2019re <em>all <\/em>me-focused.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, even as Christian couples, we tend to buy into the idea that I need my partner to do some things to make me happy. To think that there might be a deeper purpose beyond that is something that I think needs to happen, where we can lift our eyes to see something even more important than our own needs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey. I\u2019m Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we\u2019ll talk about how we can bring our thinking on the subject of marriage into alignment with what God thinks about marriage. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I should mention that today is Day 7 in our 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. I hope everybody, who\u2019s taking the challenge\u2014throughout the weekend, as you got your text message or your email\u2014I hope you continued the pattern of praying together each day. Here, on Day 7, we\u2019re encouraging husbands and wives to take a few minutes to think back to why you fell in love with one another\u2014then for a husband to pray, thanking God specifically for one special memory in your marriage\u2014and for a wife to pray, thanking God that He does indeed work all things according to His purposes and that our confidence is in Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not signed up for the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge, you can still join in with us. All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the link there for the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd speaking of prayer\u2014because we\u2019re going to be talking about that today\u2014I\u2019m sure many of our listeners have heard you tell this story, but we ought to tell it again. It\u2019s about, early in your relationship, when you and your wife Barbara sat down with Carl and\u2014what was his wife\u2019s name?\u2014was it Betty Jean\u2014Betty?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, no, no, no; Sarah Jo.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sarah? Okay. So, I knew it had a kind of a <em>Petticoat Junction<\/em> name to it\u2014so I was just trying to pull\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think she\u2019d appreciate that! [Laughing]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur listeners have heard me tell this story many, many times\u2014I asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s the greatest advice you can give me as I start out my marriage?\u201d We had been married for about four months at the time. And he looked at me and he said, \u201cOh, that\u2019s easy Denny!\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he called me Denny. He said, \u201cPray with your wife every day.\u201d I kind of looked at him. I remembered thinking\u2014and I don\u2019t think I said it to him, \u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were looking for something a little more profound?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThat\u2019s all you got?\u2014just praying together?\u201d [Laughter] But you know what? As I have shared with audiences, all around the world, that advice was the single best spiritual discipline that Barbara and I have practiced over the years. It really was\u2014I think the best advice you can give another couple\u2014to either begin each day, or sometime during the day, or end each day together in prayer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have gentleman with us who believes in a prayer in marriage. And it is 68 words that he says will change the course of your marriage. David Delk joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014David, welcome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Thank you! It\u2019s great to be with you today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>David is the President of Man in the Mirror ministries. A number of our listeners know about that through Patrick Morley, who wrote the book, <em>Man in the Mirror<\/em>, a number of years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and your wife Ruthie live in Orlando and have three children. And you have written a book that is called <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>\u2014and the 68 words that can change the direction of your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And this is not an obscure Old Testament prayer he found somewhere in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I was thinking it was the prayer of Jabez\u2019s marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right; right. It\u2019s Jabez\u2019s wife\u2014what she said. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No; tell me where the idea for this came up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, basically, Pat and I deal with guys, all around the country. We end up talking with them \/ we end up talking with their spouses. We hear where they are in their journey. If we were to take all of the problems that men suffer and struggle with\u2014and put them in one hand\u2014and then put marriage on the other side\u2014the marriage side would go way, way down because we just see it consistently in men\u2019s lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we were working on: \u201cHow could we help these couples?\u201d \/ \u201cHow could we help these men?\u201d\u2014this idea of getting men to pray for their wives \/ getting women to pray for their spouses\u2014their husbands\u2014every day would be a wonderful practical step that almost any person could take in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s where this idea of encapsulating the biblical teaching on marriage in a 68-word prayer that you can pray every day for your spouse. Hopefully, not only will it bring change in your marriage, but it also will bring some change in you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, one of the things that I\u2019ve had the privilege of doing, over my almost four decades of ministry, was speaking at Promise Keepers. There were moments that you just felt like were so powerful as images, during those gatherings of men in those stadiums, that you wish you could somehow capture and bottle it. But one of them was when Coach Mac \/ Coach Bill McCartney, who was the founder of Promise Keepers, asked his wife Lindy to come up on the stage; and he prayed for her. You just sensed in that audience of men a sense of hunger\/thirst to go, \u201cThat\u2019s what it looks like!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cI can do that!\u201d There was nothing particularly profound about his words\u2014he just spoke words, before God, in a prayer that expressed care, love, concern, some vision, and some hope for his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re not suggesting, with your 68 words in this prayer\u2014and by the way, there\u2019s a different prayer that you\u2019ve got for men and a different prayer for women; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re not suggesting that, if you will simply chant these, mantra-like, it will make some huge difference in your marriage? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>No; no magic formulas here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0It really is the attitude of your heart. As I listened to Coach Mac pray those words over his wife, I think that\u2019s what was communicated to those men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014here was a man who was passionate, before God, about his wife\u2014God not only heard him, but his wife heard him. You know, I think that\u2019s powerful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At the same time, I like what you\u2019ve done with your 68 words. I was thinking, actually, as I was reading through both of these prayers, I was thinking about Jesus\u2019 pattern for prayer given to us in Matthew, Chapter 6, or in Luke, Chapter 11, where He lays out kind of a pattern that we should follow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your 68 words are designed to spur men and women around the right things to be focused on as we pray for one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Absolutely. I love that picture, Dennis\u2014that you mentioned about Coach Mac\u2014because so many men want to do the right things \/ so many women want to have a good marriage\u2014but often, it\u2019s just a struggle to know exactly, \u201cWhat step do I take now?\u201d They\u2019ve gotten into habits \/ they\u2019ve gotten in patterns\u2014they feel stuck\u2014they wonder: \u201cHow can I do something different?\u201d \u201cWhat will she think?\u201d \u201cWill he accept it?\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo to model for them and give them a next step\u2014that\u2019s believable \/ that they can actually take\u2014that\u2019s what this prayer is. It\u2019s a simple prayer\u2014anybody can pray this in two or three minutes. It can become a pattern for a way of thinking and praying for your spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You actually mention in the beginning of the book that a lot of marriages are in a kind of a stage called a \u201cget-along marriage\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And then you illustrate it with a couple in a kind of a conflict that they had. Why don\u2019t you share that with our audience because I think this captures where a lot of marriages are\u2014but they get stuck there\u2014and it\u2019s why this prayer can move them out of the ditch and move them on to something greater.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. Well, one of the great privileges of working on this book was interviewing couples\u2014and got some case stories out of it. This is one of my favorites because the exact circumstances didn\u2019t hit home but the reality of it did. A couple was trying to deal with busy schedules. The wife needed her husband to try and pick up the kids. He said: \u201cNo. I have an association dinner tomorrow night, and I can\u2019t do it.\u201d So, she made some other arrangements. Then, for some reason, she decided to get online\u2014she checked. The dinner was actually the next week, but she didn\u2019t say anything\u2014she just let it go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, after he got home, she said, \u201cHoney, how was your association dinner?\u201d He said, \u201cOh, it was fine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo anyway\u2014about three in the morning\u2014she rolled over, and punched him in the shoulder, and said: \u201cYou dummy! I know you didn\u2019t go to the association dinner. It\u2019s next week!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what did he say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>They began to talk about it. He said: \u201cI was embarrassed because I messed up, and I thought you\u2019d never know. I was busy and I was working late.\u201d And she was like: \u201cWell, I should\u2019ve told you earlier. I\u2019m sorry I checked up and all this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So he wasn\u2019t off doing something that he shouldn\u2019t have been doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>No, he wasn\u2019t doing something he shouldn\u2019t have been doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But he did lie to his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes, he did. And the interesting thing about it was\u2014both of them were stuffing it because they were insecure about where it was going to go. They did not know how to deal with that conflict that was coming. So they both were putting it off until, finally, she couldn\u2019t put it off anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the get-along marriage is a marriage where we don\u2019t deal with some of these relational tensions that come up? Is that what you\u2019re saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Exactly: \u201cWe\u2019re getting along. It\u2019s good enough. It\u2019s okay,\u201d\u2014so we sort of stay there, thinking that\u2014especially, I think men have a tendency to do this\u2014we say, \u201cI don\u2019t really want to rock the boat because this is working pretty well.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>What we don\u2019t realize is\u2014if we leave it there, then eventually, all those little things that are festering and boiling beneath the surface eventually break through. Then we often have a problem on our hands that\u2019s a <em>lot bigger<\/em> than the one that we could\u2019ve dealt with months or years earlier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You mentioned a word that I think is, maybe not the root cause of why these things fester, but it can be a huge reason. You mentioned the word, \u201csecurity.\u201d When two people are in a relationship\u2014and I\u2019m talking about marriage\u2014where they\u2019ve said, \u201cI do,\u201d and \u201cI will,\u201d and \u201c\u2026till death do us part,\u201d there should be security in that relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUnfortunately, because of the culture we\u2019re in\u2014a culture of divorce and because many couples <em>threaten<\/em> one another with divorce\u2014some couples don\u2019t feel secure enough to be able to share maybe those small things that bother them or their mis-communications. So, they\u2019re hiding \/ they\u2019re stuffing, as you said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This prayer really does help build the walls around a marriage relationship; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s what I want to ask about\u2014\u201cSixty-eight words that I pray every day is somehow going to take me from a get-along marriage to something that is thriving?\u201d Is that your promise here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, obviously, it\u2019s a lot more than just that because God begins to work in our heart. Let me tell you a little story. This is a very minor story, but I think it\u2019s illustrative. I\u2019m getting ready to go out of town on a trip. I\u2019m packing up my computer bag. I\u2019m grabbing my power supply from the outlet, which happens to be tucked away behind the love seat near the sofa. As I\u2019m reaching down to get it, I see a little wrapper under there that is from some kind of a granola bar or something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m late for the airport. I need to get out the door, and I\u2019m trying to get all of my stuff together. I say, \u201cSomebody else will pick it up,\u201d\u2014you have to move the sofa to get to it\u2014\u201cForget it.\u201d I start to pack my stuff up. Then I said: \u201cWait a minute. Help me to serve her,\u201d\u2014part of the 68 words. I know who\u2019s going to get it\u2014my kids are not going to get it\/ my wife\u2019s going to have to get it! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I put my stuff down\u2014I pick up the sofa \/ move it over, grab the granola bar wrapper, put the sofa back\u2014throw it in the trash, get my stuff, and go to the airport. Now, that\u2019s a <em>tiny<\/em> little example; but it is illustrative of the way that God was working in my heart, as I began to pray this prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, I think we\u2019ve kept our listeners in suspense long enough. Since we\u2019ve been talking about men\u2014and since I think men ought to be the spiritual leaders of their families\u2014let\u2019s start with them. What I\u2019d like you to do is just read all the way through the prayer\u2014except, here\u2019s what I\u2019d like you to do\u2014rather than read the prayer, I\u2019d like you to pray the prayer the way you prayed it over Ruthie before you came here to be on the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Awesome; awesome. \u201cFather, I said, \u2018Til death do us part.\u2019 I want to mean it. Help me love You more than her and her more than anyone or anything else. Help me bring her into Your presence today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMake us one like you are three-in-one. I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her\u2014so she would love You more and we can bring You glory. Amen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what did Ruthie\u2019s face look like? Was it this morning or yesterday?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, it would have been, actually, the day before yesterday\u2014because of our schedules\u2014when we prayed together. She has been praying this for me\u2014just to know that we are bonded together in that and the connection that we have with one another because we\u2019re both trying to pursue the same thing in our relationship\u2014provides that security that you were talking about because I have a sense and she has a sense that we really are in this thing together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The prayer that you prayed is the same as the one you suggest for wives to pray for their husbands, with the exception of one line. Differentiate between what you direct husbands toward and what you direct wives toward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, in the one line, we ask the men to hear, cherish, and serve their spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor the wives, we switch that just a little to kind of nuance the reality of some of the differences between men and women\u2014to say, \u201cI want to hear him, <em>support<\/em> [emphasis added] him, and serve him,\u201d\u2014rather than \u201ccherish\u201d to \u201csupport him,\u201d\u2014because we know that that is such a vital thing for so many men\u2014to feel like their wives really do respect and value them, as men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you had anybody push back and say, \u201cWell, how come you\u2019re making women pray this and men pray that?\u201d Do people get ruffled about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, we really haven\u2019t had too much of that. It\u2019s really been a pretty well-received idea because I think most people understand that some of those generalities are generalities because they\u2019re basically true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Everything you\u2019ve got \/ every line in here may not have a verse cited by it\u2014but when you sat down to say, \u201cOkay, what would be a concise get-to-the-heart of what marriage ought to be about prayer?\u201d you went to pages of Scripture; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Absolutely. A couple of things we did that are pretty interesting\u2014is that we went to some of the bedrocks of where marriage comes from that maybe you don\u2019t normally think about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book does the same thing because we talk about\u2014for example, \u201cMake us one like you are three-in-one.\u201d Well, the Trinity is not usually brought up in a marriage conversation that often; but I believe the relational aspect of who we are, we see in Genesis 1 and 2: \u201cIt was good,\u201d \u201cIt was good,\u201d \u201cIt was good,\u201d\u2014six times\u2014then \u201cIt was very good,\u201d one time. All of a sudden, in Genesis 2:18: \u201cIt was not good.\u201d Well, how could something that a perfect God made be \u201cnot good\u201d?\u2014it was not good for a man to be alone. There\u2019s something about existing in isolation that doesn\u2019t allow us to fully represent the image of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen this idea, at the end, of bringing God glory\u2014just trying to lift a couple\u2019s eyes to something more than: \u201cAre our kids going to turn out alright? Are we going to be a good church family? Are we going to be secure in retirement?\u201d but \u201cHow can we actually, together in our marriage, bring glory to God?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m smiling because I\u2019m just reflecting back on the content of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage conferences. You mentioned some key words that we teach throughout the weekend. One of them is we talk about how marriage is a reflection of the unity of the Trinity. We talk about how marriage is not to be reduced to such a human level that we lose the distinctives that it was Almighty God creating marriage, as His personal model, that displays His glory. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of a sudden, marriage is not just these two imperfect people trying to get their needs met from one another \/ all of a sudden, this husband and wife\u2014they\u2019re together\u2014there\u2019s something at stake in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a companionship need that God\u2019s meeting in marriage, and there is the procreative aspect of marriage as well. But I think what you\u2019re saying is\u2014before you even get to those things, you got to recognize\u2014well, the way I heard one guy say it was\u2014the words of Psalm 34:3\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he proposed, saying, \u201cO, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together.\u201d There is something about being united in purpose \/ one-minded intent that reflects something of the character and unity of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When you take a spouse and say, \u201cI want to be your husband \/ I want you to be my wife,\u201d you\u2019re saying, \u201cOut of all the six billion people on the planet, I choose you to reflect the glory of God.\u201d I think this is one of the reasons why your prayer is effective\u2014is because it does turn a couple\u2019s heart upward and maybe a bit outward from being self-focused because this culture is all about \u201cMe, me, me, and me!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. Ruthie and I did a retreat\u2014and we had the couples break up\u2014men on one side \/ women on the other side. We had them fill out some Post-it flip chart paper that said, \u201cIf only she\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then the women did it: \u201cIf only he\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d They were having fun with it\u2014they were laughing and giggling. You can imagine all of the different things that came out on those sheets of paper. The point that we made afterwards was\u2014we said: \u201cLook at the answers that you came up with. Most of them are funny \/ some of them are serious, but they\u2019re <em>all<\/em> me-focused,\u201d\u2014even the premise, \u201cI\u2019d be happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, even as Christian couples, we tend to buy into the idea that: \u201cI need my partner to do some things to make me happy,\u201d and \u201cThat\u2019s kind of what marriage is about. That\u2019s why I\u2019m not single. That\u2019s why I\u2019m not living by myself.\u201d To think that there might be a deeper purpose, beyond that, is something that I think needs to happen, where we can lift our eyes to see something even more important than our own needs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You shared many times about how the discipline of regular prayer for one another in your marriage has pressed you back together and away from the isolation that can happen without that discipline in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I\u2019ve also said: \u201cYou can\u2019t have a couple, who are inviting Almighty God into their presence, or them going into His presence on a daily basis, without your life being changed because, where God shows up, He changes things. You can\u2019t be the same person.\u201d So, when I saw your book and this prayer, I thought, \u201cThere really can be a few words that can change the direction of your marriage <em>if<\/em> the words are expressed to the right person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand from the right heart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand from the right heart, where the words are expressed to Almighty God and say: \u2018Lord God, we\u2019re broken. I\u2019m selfish. I need help! I need You to help me fulfill my vows.\u2019\u201d That really is what the prayer does\u2014is it just, I think, walks you through the basics of what you\u2019ve promised when you stood before the pastor or the justice of the peace and words that, more than likely, you haven\u2019t said since. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Aren\u2019t sure what it is exactly you\u2019re getting yourself into! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Exactly! You didn\u2019t even know what you were saying because you were so numb from all the preparation around the ceremony. I think what it does is\u2014it re-cements commitment to create the safety and the security that every marriage needs if it\u2019s going to truly reflect the character of God and be used by Him to impact, not only their own children, but also succeeding generations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, the discipline that you\u2019re suggesting here is\u2014I mean, we\u2019ve seen the studies over the years that say couples who\u2019ve prayed together, regularly as a couple, marital satisfaction is higher and the divorce rate is lower. Now, I know that correlation isn\u2019t always causation and, yet, these kinds of patterns do indicate that God is at work in a special way in the lives of couples who pray together each day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd again, let me remind our listeners about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge we have going on, right now, where you can sign up to receive a text message each day and be praying with one another, regularly, in your marriage. We\u2019ll send you the prayer prompts each day. I\u2019ll also mention David Delk\u2019s book\u2014which is called <em>The Marriage Prayer: A Prescription to Change the Direction of Your Marriage<\/em>. We have that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. When you go to our website\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen \/ the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find information about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge when you go there. You can order copies of the book, <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>, from our website as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then let me also remind you that you can sign up to attend one of our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this fall. This is the last week you can take advantage of the special offer we\u2019re making to pay the regular rate for yourself, and your spouse comes free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat offer expires at the end of this week. So, this is a good time to visit FamilyLifeToday.com. Sign up for the prayer challenge, get David Delk\u2019s book, and get more information or get signed up for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. If you have any questions, call us, toll-free, at 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d; or again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our conviction, here at FamilyLife, is that the health of a marriage is really connected to the health of our relationship with the One who created marriage in the first place and the One who brought us together. Our relationship with God affects our relationship with one another. When we\u2019re not getting along in marriage, often, there\u2019s a link to what\u2019s going on or what\u2019s not going on in our relationship with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take just a minute here, Dennis, and thank the listeners who agree with us that this spiritual foundation of marriage is essential\u2014those of you who help support this ministry, either as Legacy Partners, who give a monthly gift, or those of you who will, from time to time, contact us and make a gift in support of this ministry. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us and appreciate your involvement in the mission and ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a gift, right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a FamilyLife calendar. This is our 2016 prayer calendar; and I know some of you are thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s not even near 2016.\u201d Well, this calendar actually begins in October. It will give you suggestions on how you can continue to make prayer a discipline in your marriage and in your family throughout the year. Again, it\u2019s our gift to you when you support the ministry with a donation. You can do that, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the connection between our prayers and our priorities and how our prayers can help us make sure our priorities are what they ought to be\u2014focused on the right stuff. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.1M"],"filesize_raw":["25271383"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303648.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303648.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you regularly praying for your spouse? David Delk introduces the Marriage Prayer-68 powerful words that can change the direction of your marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-09-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The strongest marriages, according to David Delk, come when a husband and wife begin to see that ultimately their marriage is not about them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Ruthie and I did a retreat, and we had the couples break up\u2014men on one side \/ women on the other side\u2014and we had them fill out some Post-it<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> flip chart paper that said, \u201cIf only she\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d And then the women did, \u201cIf only he\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d The point that we made afterwards was\u2014we said: \u201cLook at the answers that you came up with. Most of them are funny \/ some of them are serious, but they\u2019re <em>all <\/em>me-focused.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, even as Christian couples, we tend to buy into the idea that I need my partner to do some things to make me happy. To think that there might be a deeper purpose beyond that is something that I think needs to happen, where we can lift our eyes to see something even more important than our own needs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, September 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey. I\u2019m Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we\u2019ll talk about how we can bring our thinking on the subject of marriage into alignment with what God thinks about marriage. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I should mention that today is Day 7 in our 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. I hope everybody, who\u2019s taking the challenge\u2014throughout the weekend, as you got your text message or your email\u2014I hope you continued the pattern of praying together each day. Here, on Day 7, we\u2019re encouraging husbands and wives to take a few minutes to think back to why you fell in love with one another\u2014then for a husband to pray, thanking God specifically for one special memory in your marriage\u2014and for a wife to pray, thanking God that He does indeed work all things according to His purposes and that our confidence is in Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re not signed up for the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge, you can still join in with us. All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the link there for the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd speaking of prayer\u2014because we\u2019re going to be talking about that today\u2014I\u2019m sure many of our listeners have heard you tell this story, but we ought to tell it again. It\u2019s about, early in your relationship, when you and your wife Barbara sat down with Carl and\u2014what was his wife\u2019s name?\u2014was it Betty Jean\u2014Betty?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No, no, no, no; Sarah Jo.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sarah? Okay. So, I knew it had a kind of a <em>Petticoat Junction<\/em> name to it\u2014so I was just trying to pull\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think she\u2019d appreciate that! [Laughing]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur listeners have heard me tell this story many, many times\u2014I asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s the greatest advice you can give me as I start out my marriage?\u201d We had been married for about four months at the time. And he looked at me and he said, \u201cOh, that\u2019s easy Denny!\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he called me Denny. He said, \u201cPray with your wife every day.\u201d I kind of looked at him. I remembered thinking\u2014and I don\u2019t think I said it to him, \u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You were looking for something a little more profound?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThat\u2019s all you got?\u2014just praying together?\u201d [Laughter] But you know what? As I have shared with audiences, all around the world, that advice was the single best spiritual discipline that Barbara and I have practiced over the years. It really was\u2014I think the best advice you can give another couple\u2014to either begin each day, or sometime during the day, or end each day together in prayer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previously Recorded Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have gentleman with us who believes in a prayer in marriage. And it is 68 words that he says will change the course of your marriage. David Delk joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014David, welcome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Thank you! It\u2019s great to be with you today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>David is the President of Man in the Mirror ministries. A number of our listeners know about that through Patrick Morley, who wrote the book, <em>Man in the Mirror<\/em>, a number of years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and your wife Ruthie live in Orlando and have three children. And you have written a book that is called <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>\u2014and the 68 words that can change the direction of your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And this is not an obscure Old Testament prayer he found somewhere in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I was thinking it was the prayer of Jabez\u2019s marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right; right. It\u2019s Jabez\u2019s wife\u2014what she said. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No; tell me where the idea for this came up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, basically, Pat and I deal with guys, all around the country. We end up talking with them \/ we end up talking with their spouses. We hear where they are in their journey. If we were to take all of the problems that men suffer and struggle with\u2014and put them in one hand\u2014and then put marriage on the other side\u2014the marriage side would go way, way down because we just see it consistently in men\u2019s lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we were working on: \u201cHow could we help these couples?\u201d \/ \u201cHow could we help these men?\u201d\u2014this idea of getting men to pray for their wives \/ getting women to pray for their spouses\u2014their husbands\u2014every day would be a wonderful practical step that almost any person could take in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s where this idea of encapsulating the biblical teaching on marriage in a 68-word prayer that you can pray every day for your spouse. Hopefully, not only will it bring change in your marriage, but it also will bring some change in you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, one of the things that I\u2019ve had the privilege of doing, over my almost four decades of ministry, was speaking at Promise Keepers. There were moments that you just felt like were so powerful as images, during those gatherings of men in those stadiums, that you wish you could somehow capture and bottle it. But one of them was when Coach Mac \/ Coach Bill McCartney, who was the founder of Promise Keepers, asked his wife Lindy to come up on the stage; and he prayed for her. You just sensed in that audience of men a sense of hunger\/thirst to go, \u201cThat\u2019s what it looks like!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cI can do that!\u201d There was nothing particularly profound about his words\u2014he just spoke words, before God, in a prayer that expressed care, love, concern, some vision, and some hope for his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re not suggesting, with your 68 words in this prayer\u2014and by the way, there\u2019s a different prayer that you\u2019ve got for men and a different prayer for women; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re not suggesting that, if you will simply chant these, mantra-like, it will make some huge difference in your marriage? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>No; no magic formulas here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0It really is the attitude of your heart. As I listened to Coach Mac pray those words over his wife, I think that\u2019s what was communicated to those men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014here was a man who was passionate, before God, about his wife\u2014God not only heard him, but his wife heard him. You know, I think that\u2019s powerful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At the same time, I like what you\u2019ve done with your 68 words. I was thinking, actually, as I was reading through both of these prayers, I was thinking about Jesus\u2019 pattern for prayer given to us in Matthew, Chapter 6, or in Luke, Chapter 11, where He lays out kind of a pattern that we should follow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your 68 words are designed to spur men and women around the right things to be focused on as we pray for one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Absolutely. I love that picture, Dennis\u2014that you mentioned about Coach Mac\u2014because so many men want to do the right things \/ so many women want to have a good marriage\u2014but often, it\u2019s just a struggle to know exactly, \u201cWhat step do I take now?\u201d They\u2019ve gotten into habits \/ they\u2019ve gotten in patterns\u2014they feel stuck\u2014they wonder: \u201cHow can I do something different?\u201d \u201cWhat will she think?\u201d \u201cWill he accept it?\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo to model for them and give them a next step\u2014that\u2019s believable \/ that they can actually take\u2014that\u2019s what this prayer is. It\u2019s a simple prayer\u2014anybody can pray this in two or three minutes. It can become a pattern for a way of thinking and praying for your spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You actually mention in the beginning of the book that a lot of marriages are in a kind of a stage called a \u201cget-along marriage\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And then you illustrate it with a couple in a kind of a conflict that they had. Why don\u2019t you share that with our audience because I think this captures where a lot of marriages are\u2014but they get stuck there\u2014and it\u2019s why this prayer can move them out of the ditch and move them on to something greater.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. Well, one of the great privileges of working on this book was interviewing couples\u2014and got some case stories out of it. This is one of my favorites because the exact circumstances didn\u2019t hit home but the reality of it did. A couple was trying to deal with busy schedules. The wife needed her husband to try and pick up the kids. He said: \u201cNo. I have an association dinner tomorrow night, and I can\u2019t do it.\u201d So, she made some other arrangements. Then, for some reason, she decided to get online\u2014she checked. The dinner was actually the next week, but she didn\u2019t say anything\u2014she just let it go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, after he got home, she said, \u201cHoney, how was your association dinner?\u201d He said, \u201cOh, it was fine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo anyway\u2014about three in the morning\u2014she rolled over, and punched him in the shoulder, and said: \u201cYou dummy! I know you didn\u2019t go to the association dinner. It\u2019s next week!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what did he say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>They began to talk about it. He said: \u201cI was embarrassed because I messed up, and I thought you\u2019d never know. I was busy and I was working late.\u201d And she was like: \u201cWell, I should\u2019ve told you earlier. I\u2019m sorry I checked up and all this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So he wasn\u2019t off doing something that he shouldn\u2019t have been doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>No, he wasn\u2019t doing something he shouldn\u2019t have been doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But he did lie to his wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes, he did. And the interesting thing about it was\u2014both of them were stuffing it because they were insecure about where it was going to go. They did not know how to deal with that conflict that was coming. So they both were putting it off until, finally, she couldn\u2019t put it off anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the get-along marriage is a marriage where we don\u2019t deal with some of these relational tensions that come up? Is that what you\u2019re saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Exactly: \u201cWe\u2019re getting along. It\u2019s good enough. It\u2019s okay,\u201d\u2014so we sort of stay there, thinking that\u2014especially, I think men have a tendency to do this\u2014we say, \u201cI don\u2019t really want to rock the boat because this is working pretty well.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>What we don\u2019t realize is\u2014if we leave it there, then eventually, all those little things that are festering and boiling beneath the surface eventually break through. Then we often have a problem on our hands that\u2019s a <em>lot bigger<\/em> than the one that we could\u2019ve dealt with months or years earlier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You mentioned a word that I think is, maybe not the root cause of why these things fester, but it can be a huge reason. You mentioned the word, \u201csecurity.\u201d When two people are in a relationship\u2014and I\u2019m talking about marriage\u2014where they\u2019ve said, \u201cI do,\u201d and \u201cI will,\u201d and \u201c\u2026till death do us part,\u201d there should be security in that relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUnfortunately, because of the culture we\u2019re in\u2014a culture of divorce and because many couples <em>threaten<\/em> one another with divorce\u2014some couples don\u2019t feel secure enough to be able to share maybe those small things that bother them or their mis-communications. So, they\u2019re hiding \/ they\u2019re stuffing, as you said.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>This prayer really does help build the walls around a marriage relationship; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s what I want to ask about\u2014\u201cSixty-eight words that I pray every day is somehow going to take me from a get-along marriage to something that is thriving?\u201d Is that your promise here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, obviously, it\u2019s a lot more than just that because God begins to work in our heart. Let me tell you a little story. This is a very minor story, but I think it\u2019s illustrative. I\u2019m getting ready to go out of town on a trip. I\u2019m packing up my computer bag. I\u2019m grabbing my power supply from the outlet, which happens to be tucked away behind the love seat near the sofa. As I\u2019m reaching down to get it, I see a little wrapper under there that is from some kind of a granola bar or something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m late for the airport. I need to get out the door, and I\u2019m trying to get all of my stuff together. I say, \u201cSomebody else will pick it up,\u201d\u2014you have to move the sofa to get to it\u2014\u201cForget it.\u201d I start to pack my stuff up. Then I said: \u201cWait a minute. Help me to serve her,\u201d\u2014part of the 68 words. I know who\u2019s going to get it\u2014my kids are not going to get it\/ my wife\u2019s going to have to get it! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I put my stuff down\u2014I pick up the sofa \/ move it over, grab the granola bar wrapper, put the sofa back\u2014throw it in the trash, get my stuff, and go to the airport. Now, that\u2019s a <em>tiny<\/em> little example; but it is illustrative of the way that God was working in my heart, as I began to pray this prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay, I think we\u2019ve kept our listeners in suspense long enough. Since we\u2019ve been talking about men\u2014and since I think men ought to be the spiritual leaders of their families\u2014let\u2019s start with them. What I\u2019d like you to do is just read all the way through the prayer\u2014except, here\u2019s what I\u2019d like you to do\u2014rather than read the prayer, I\u2019d like you to pray the prayer the way you prayed it over Ruthie before you came here to be on the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Awesome; awesome. \u201cFather, I said, \u2018Til death do us part.\u2019 I want to mean it. Help me love You more than her and her more than anyone or anything else. Help me bring her into Your presence today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMake us one like you are three-in-one. I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her\u2014so she would love You more and we can bring You glory. Amen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And what did Ruthie\u2019s face look like? Was it this morning or yesterday?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, it would have been, actually, the day before yesterday\u2014because of our schedules\u2014when we prayed together. She has been praying this for me\u2014just to know that we are bonded together in that and the connection that we have with one another because we\u2019re both trying to pursue the same thing in our relationship\u2014provides that security that you were talking about because I have a sense and she has a sense that we really are in this thing together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The prayer that you prayed is the same as the one you suggest for wives to pray for their husbands, with the exception of one line. Differentiate between what you direct husbands toward and what you direct wives toward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, in the one line, we ask the men to hear, cherish, and serve their spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor the wives, we switch that just a little to kind of nuance the reality of some of the differences between men and women\u2014to say, \u201cI want to hear him, <em>support<\/em> [emphasis added] him, and serve him,\u201d\u2014rather than \u201ccherish\u201d to \u201csupport him,\u201d\u2014because we know that that is such a vital thing for so many men\u2014to feel like their wives really do respect and value them, as men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you had anybody push back and say, \u201cWell, how come you\u2019re making women pray this and men pray that?\u201d Do people get ruffled about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Well, we really haven\u2019t had too much of that. It\u2019s really been a pretty well-received idea because I think most people understand that some of those generalities are generalities because they\u2019re basically true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Everything you\u2019ve got \/ every line in here may not have a verse cited by it\u2014but when you sat down to say, \u201cOkay, what would be a concise get-to-the-heart of what marriage ought to be about prayer?\u201d you went to pages of Scripture; didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Absolutely. A couple of things we did that are pretty interesting\u2014is that we went to some of the bedrocks of where marriage comes from that maybe you don\u2019t normally think about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book does the same thing because we talk about\u2014for example, \u201cMake us one like you are three-in-one.\u201d Well, the Trinity is not usually brought up in a marriage conversation that often; but I believe the relational aspect of who we are, we see in Genesis 1 and 2: \u201cIt was good,\u201d \u201cIt was good,\u201d \u201cIt was good,\u201d\u2014six times\u2014then \u201cIt was very good,\u201d one time. All of a sudden, in Genesis 2:18: \u201cIt was not good.\u201d Well, how could something that a perfect God made be \u201cnot good\u201d?\u2014it was not good for a man to be alone. There\u2019s something about existing in isolation that doesn\u2019t allow us to fully represent the image of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen this idea, at the end, of bringing God glory\u2014just trying to lift a couple\u2019s eyes to something more than: \u201cAre our kids going to turn out alright? Are we going to be a good church family? Are we going to be secure in retirement?\u201d but \u201cHow can we actually, together in our marriage, bring glory to God?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m smiling because I\u2019m just reflecting back on the content of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage conferences. You mentioned some key words that we teach throughout the weekend. One of them is we talk about how marriage is a reflection of the unity of the Trinity. We talk about how marriage is not to be reduced to such a human level that we lose the distinctives that it was Almighty God creating marriage, as His personal model, that displays His glory. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of a sudden, marriage is not just these two imperfect people trying to get their needs met from one another \/ all of a sudden, this husband and wife\u2014they\u2019re together\u2014there\u2019s something at stake in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There is a companionship need that God\u2019s meeting in marriage, and there is the procreative aspect of marriage as well. But I think what you\u2019re saying is\u2014before you even get to those things, you got to recognize\u2014well, the way I heard one guy say it was\u2014the words of Psalm 34:3\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014he proposed, saying, \u201cO, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together.\u201d There is something about being united in purpose \/ one-minded intent that reflects something of the character and unity of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>When you take a spouse and say, \u201cI want to be your husband \/ I want you to be my wife,\u201d you\u2019re saying, \u201cOut of all the six billion people on the planet, I choose you to reflect the glory of God.\u201d I think this is one of the reasons why your prayer is effective\u2014is because it does turn a couple\u2019s heart upward and maybe a bit outward from being self-focused because this culture is all about \u201cMe, me, me, and me!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. Ruthie and I did a retreat\u2014and we had the couples break up\u2014men on one side \/ women on the other side. We had them fill out some Post-it flip chart paper that said, \u201cIf only she\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then the women did it: \u201cIf only he\u2019d (blank), I\u2019d be happy.\u201d They were having fun with it\u2014they were laughing and giggling. You can imagine all of the different things that came out on those sheets of paper. The point that we made afterwards was\u2014we said: \u201cLook at the answers that you came up with. Most of them are funny \/ some of them are serious, but they\u2019re <em>all<\/em> me-focused,\u201d\u2014even the premise, \u201cI\u2019d be happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, even as Christian couples, we tend to buy into the idea that: \u201cI need my partner to do some things to make me happy,\u201d and \u201cThat\u2019s kind of what marriage is about. That\u2019s why I\u2019m not single. That\u2019s why I\u2019m not living by myself.\u201d To think that there might be a deeper purpose, beyond that, is something that I think needs to happen, where we can lift our eyes to see something even more important than our own needs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You shared many times about how the discipline of regular prayer for one another in your marriage has pressed you back together and away from the isolation that can happen without that discipline in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. I\u2019ve also said: \u201cYou can\u2019t have a couple, who are inviting Almighty God into their presence, or them going into His presence on a daily basis, without your life being changed because, where God shows up, He changes things. You can\u2019t be the same person.\u201d So, when I saw your book and this prayer, I thought, \u201cThere really can be a few words that can change the direction of your marriage <em>if<\/em> the words are expressed to the right person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>There you go!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand from the right heart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand from the right heart, where the words are expressed to Almighty God and say: \u2018Lord God, we\u2019re broken. I\u2019m selfish. I need help! I need You to help me fulfill my vows.\u2019\u201d That really is what the prayer does\u2014is it just, I think, walks you through the basics of what you\u2019ve promised when you stood before the pastor or the justice of the peace and words that, more than likely, you haven\u2019t said since. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Aren\u2019t sure what it is exactly you\u2019re getting yourself into! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Exactly! You didn\u2019t even know what you were saying because you were so numb from all the preparation around the ceremony. I think what it does is\u2014it re-cements commitment to create the safety and the security that every marriage needs if it\u2019s going to truly reflect the character of God and be used by Him to impact, not only their own children, but also succeeding generations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, the discipline that you\u2019re suggesting here is\u2014I mean, we\u2019ve seen the studies over the years that say couples who\u2019ve prayed together, regularly as a couple, marital satisfaction is higher and the divorce rate is lower. Now, I know that correlation isn\u2019t always causation and, yet, these kinds of patterns do indicate that God is at work in a special way in the lives of couples who pray together each day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd again, let me remind our listeners about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge we have going on, right now, where you can sign up to receive a text message each day and be praying with one another, regularly, in your marriage. We\u2019ll send you the prayer prompts each day. I\u2019ll also mention David Delk\u2019s book\u2014which is called <em>The Marriage Prayer: A Prescription to Change the Direction of Your Marriage<\/em>. We have that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. When you go to our website\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen \/ the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find information about the 30-Day Oneness Prayer Challenge when you go there. You can order copies of the book, <em>The Marriage Prayer<\/em>, from our website as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then let me also remind you that you can sign up to attend one of our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this fall. This is the last week you can take advantage of the special offer we\u2019re making to pay the regular rate for yourself, and your spouse comes free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat offer expires at the end of this week. So, this is a good time to visit FamilyLifeToday.com. Sign up for the prayer challenge, get David Delk\u2019s book, and get more information or get signed up for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. If you have any questions, call us, toll-free, at 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d; or again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our conviction, here at FamilyLife, is that the health of a marriage is really connected to the health of our relationship with the One who created marriage in the first place and the One who brought us together. Our relationship with God affects our relationship with one another. When we\u2019re not getting along in marriage, often, there\u2019s a link to what\u2019s going on or what\u2019s not going on in our relationship with God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take just a minute here, Dennis, and thank the listeners who agree with us that this spiritual foundation of marriage is essential\u2014those of you who help support this ministry, either as Legacy Partners, who give a monthly gift, or those of you who will, from time to time, contact us and make a gift in support of this ministry. We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us and appreciate your involvement in the mission and ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a gift, right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a FamilyLife calendar. This is our 2016 prayer calendar; and I know some of you are thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s not even near 2016.\u201d Well, this calendar actually begins in October. It will give you suggestions on how you can continue to make prayer a discipline in your marriage and in your family throughout the year. Again, it\u2019s our gift to you when you support the ministry with a donation. You can do that, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI Care,\u201d and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the connection between our prayers and our priorities and how our prayers can help us make sure our priorities are what they ought to be\u2014focused on the right stuff. We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303648"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303648"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303648"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303648"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}