{"id":303601,"date":"2015-08-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-08-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/connecting-well\/"},"modified":"2015-08-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-08-04T15:00:00","slug":"connecting-well","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-well\/","title":{"rendered":"Connecting Well"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Make a new friend and call me in the morning; a prescription for aging well, according to Dr. John Dunlop. Dunlop reminds us that healthy relationships are vital if we are going to age well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-08-04.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"35.38M","filesize_raw":"37093724","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2847,2873],"tags":[5786,5788,5787,5789],"podcast_series":[8095],"cwp_profile":[9396],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303601","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-death-and-dying","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-aging-well","tag-brain-health","tag-staying-healthy","tag-wellness","podcast_series-wellness-for-the-glory-of-god","cwp_profile-john-dunlop","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303601\/connecting-well","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303601\/connecting-well","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"9TC8CwBh8K\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-well\/\">Connecting Well<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-well\/embed\/#?secret=9TC8CwBh8K\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Connecting Well&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"9TC8CwBh8K\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-08-04.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-08-04.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is possible\u2014 as you grow old\u2014to be in good physical health and still not experience what Dr. John Dunlop calls wellness for a number of reasons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I had a series of interviews with some seniors at a Bible camp two years ago. I asked them\u2014these were folks in their 80s and 90s: \u201cWhat are the major obstacles to your emotional wellness?\u201d\u00a0 And without question, their first response was self-pity\u2014spending too much time in self-pity. I thought that was instructive because I\u2019m not sure I would have expected that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There is a lot more to wellness in life than just how your body is doing. We\u2019ll explore that today with Dr. John Dunlop. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I remember when it dawned on me what Solomon was talking about in Ecclesiastes, Chapter 12, when he says, \u201cRemember your Creator in the days of your youth before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, \u2018I have no pleasure in them,\u2019 before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars are darkened.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s talking about when you get old, and you lose your eyesight.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a challenge\u2014it\u2019s difficult to go through the aging process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. And we have a gentleman who is\u2014well, has studied the process of aging and how we\u2019re to better negotiate these challenging years. Dr. John Dunlop joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. John, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, thank you. It\u2019s a pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>John is a physician\u2014graduate of Johns Hopkins University. He practiced medicine for more than 38 years and continues to do so today. He and his wife Dorothy have been married 43 years\u2014have two sons \/ four grandchildren. He\u2019s written a book called <em>Wellness for the Glory of God<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things you cover in your book, John\u2014that I really liked\u2014was the importance of relationships as we age. Now, I think that\u2019d be an easy one to overlook; but you talk about how you\u2019ve run into people at various walks of life who minimize the importance of having in-depth relationships with others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a part of wellness; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 I mean\u2014how we\u2019re doing with others affects our wellness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, it is so integral to us. And I think of my dad. I mean, Dad was a very high-powered businessman. He was on a number of national boards, and he would\u2014all of his relationships were focused on what he had to do\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014what they were <em>doing<\/em> together. As he got older \/ after he retired, he started to form real friendships that were based, not on what they were <em>doing<\/em> together, but just on the fact that they were two people together; and Dad\u2019s life was richer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You had a patient\u2014he was 72 years old, running 20 miles a week; and yet, you questioned his wellness because of this issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. You know, Jim was running or going to the gym every day; but he had been divorced for 25 years. His children had nothing to do with him because of their bitterness because of the divorce. His whole life was taken up with being physically well, but he had no friends. He would go to the gym\u2014everybody knew his name, and he knew everybody else\u2019s name\u2014but he knew very well that if he wasn\u2019t there the next day, no one would miss him. You know, he was really kind of miserable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you\u2019re a doctor, and you\u2019re seeing a patient who is physically fit but relationally ill, what kind of prescription do you give to that individual? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim comes to your office; and you go, \u201cYour body is in great shape, but I don\u2019t think you\u2019re well.\u201d\u00a0 What do you say?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, I think we encourage them; but honestly, I think, at that stage, we\u2019re not going to make a big difference\u2014I think it is tragic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are you saying it\u2019s a habit, at that point, that they can\u2019t break?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It would be hard to, and Jim had no spiritual roots at all. So often, as we relate to God \/ as we experience His love, we are able to begin to open up to other people and experience their love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I remember a man that I talked to recently. He had just been through our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> video series, which is a ten-part video series for men to go through with other men\u2014where relationships like we\u2019re talking about can be forged\u2014heart to heart, man to man, shoulder to shoulder\u2014where some other men have access to your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this guy came up and he said, \u201cDennis, the main thing I got out of the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series was I realized I had no one I was responsible for.\u201d\u00a0 He said: \u201cMy parents are dead. I\u2019m not married. I have no children. I have no living relatives. I realized I need some other friends. I need some people to roll up my sleeves and be real with.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s so devastating. I\u2019ve seen it over and over again. I admit I\u2019ve led a pretty busy life in my 38 years of medical practice\u2014I mean, I was up at 5:30 and at the hospital before 7, often getting home late\u2014and didn\u2019t have a lot of time for deep friendships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow that I\u2019ve \u201cretired\u201d and am only working three days a week, I have a little more discretionary time. In moving to Connecticut, I have listed my priorities\u2014one of them is to have a group of men I can meet with, at least, one morning a week for accountability and sharing life together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m still in the process of putting that together, but that\u2019s one of my goals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You recognize that\u2019s an essential part of wellness and finishing life to the glory of God; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Indeed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It certainly is\u2014yes. And a lot of that, as people get further down the line and become less independent, is where they choose to live. I make a big deal with my elderly patients\u2014helping them to see the advantage of getting out of the family home before they have to quit driving and getting into some type of living facility where they are close enough to walk to people to continue to build relationships once they get old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This was one of the smart things my mom did. She moved to the retirement center\u2014not the nursing home\u2014it wasn\u2019t the nursing home. I mean, it was assisted living, but it was independent assisted living.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe moved there, honestly, a little earlier than I thought she should have moved there. She was vibrant. She was active. She was still driving. But she was very wise because\u2014while she was vibrant, and active, and alert\u2014she could build relationships and community. I think it helped her in those years when her faculties began to fail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly why, at 67, I gave up my whole life in Chicago to move to Connecticut because that\u2019s where we felt we wanted to be when we were older to give us time to really develop relationships\u2014get into a church \/ build friendships so that we have a support base when we need it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the things you shared earlier, John\u2014that I just want you to do again because I thought this was so good. You talked about your living will and how it was a reflection of the values you have sought to live by your entire life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re defining the <em>end<\/em> of your life around the concept of serving others?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>My power of attorney for medical purposes states that I want all done possible to prolong my life if it looks reasonable\u2014like I will be able to continue to help other people\u2014but if by reason of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual causes, it doesn\u2019t look like I will be able to help other people, don\u2019t just keep me alive. Now, recognizing that the nature of my service may change and I may be lying in a nursing home, praying for people or encouraging them\u2014but that\u2019s fine. I don\u2019t need to be teaching and writing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, earlier, I had a hymn come to mind as we were talking about wellness in the midst of grief. It was the hymn, <em>It Is Well with My Soul<\/em>. As we\u2019re talking about wellness in relationships, I had another song come to mind. It\u2019s\u2014honestly, it\u2019s not a hymn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but I keep thinking about: \u201cEleanor Rigby who died in the church and was buried along with her name\u2014nobody came. Father McKenzie, who wiped the dirt from his hands as he walked from the grave\u2014no one was saved. All the lonely people; where do they all come from, and where do they all belong?\u201d\u00a0 That Beatles song really captures the sadness that comes as you age without relationships being an integral part of your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I never listened to that in that context. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, really does. When my kids were juniors in high school, I\u2019d take them to a restaurant. We\u2019d get some donuts, or some bacon and eggs, and we went through the Book of Proverbs. We became friends with some guys who used to meet for breakfast, and I suppose they were there Monday through Friday\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Because\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because they were always there, no matter what day of the week we showed up; and it wasn\u2019t always the same day. It was clear that those men were enjoying sharing life with one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s what you\u2019re talking about. And you don\u2019t end up there without being intentional about pursuing people. That\u2019s what I\u2019m hearing you saying here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It is. It isn\u2019t the default of our culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have to ask you about issues related to aging well physically because my wife said, \u201cIf you go through that interview and you don\u2019t ask him about how you can stay healthy into old age, I\u2019m not going to be happy with you.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Save his marriage\u2014would you, John?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. So, what are the basics that I need to know if I want to age well physically?\u00a0 Here, let me what\u2019s been my default: My mom lived until she was 92 years old. All four of my grandparents lived into their 90s. I told you my dad died when he was 68 from melanoma. So, I go see the dermatologist\u2014I get my moles checked. I\u2019m counting on the fact that my genes are going to carry me into the mature years without any problem. Am I safe?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s certainly a part of it\u2014not necessarily a credit to <em>your<\/em> choice\u2014[Laughter] \u2014but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ll\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Spoken as a true doc! [Laughter] Way to go!\u00a0 Give me a fist bump, John. Come on\u2014there you go!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>There are things that are more related to your choices, and they are the things that we need to emphasize. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So emphasize away\u2014I\u2019m ready. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, Robert Butler was one of the great geriatricians of several years ago. His famous statement was: \u201cExercise, if available as a prescription, would be the most widely used and effective drug,\u201d\u2014now, that\u2019s a paraphrase; but yes, I think we need to start with exercise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I admit to you: \u201cMy wife, who is a professor of medicine, does all her research on the role of exercise as we get older.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m kind of caught. I don\u2019t really use a \u201cWhat do we choose?\u201d\u2014I don\u2019t think I have a choice! [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what is your regiment?\u00a0 You\u2019re a busy doc up until you moved from six days a week to three days a week. You were getting up early. How were you fitting exercise into what you were doing?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019ve\u2014for years, I love to run. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And I\u2019ve probably run 30,000 miles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And I do 25 a week, at this point; but I had the privilege of constructing my own schedule. So, I would work 12-hour days, Monday and Friday\u2014but only a 2-hour day on Tuesday\u2014and I would do a 10-mile run. I would work a 6-hour day on Thursday, and then, a 16-hour day on Wednesday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, for those of us who can\u2019t do that, what is your prescription for us?\u00a0 What should we be doing?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, you should be spending, at least, 30 minutes a day in some aerobic exercise. You should be doing something anaerobic\u2014throwing around some weights \/ doing a little bit of weight training. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I can\u2019t say that without remembering the lady who\u2014I said, \u201cWell, at least, you could walk, carrying some dumbbells, and do some arm work while you\u2019re walking.\u201d\u00a0 She said: \u201cWell, I walk with my husband. Is that enough?\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThat\u2019s the dumbbell I walk with.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>So, we should do some stretching, and we should do something to help us with our balance because that\u2019s how we prevent falls. So, walking, or swimming, or\u2014if you are going to the gym\u2014getting on the treadmill or an elliptical\u2014something like that\u2014some type of weights, stretching, and balance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What\u2019s the balance exercise?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, just standing on one foot helps. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>For how long?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>For a minute or so. We have this\u2014it\u2019s a rubber, inflated disc that\u2019s about four inches high \/ about twelve inches wide in diameter. When I get out of the shower, I stand a minute on it on one foot\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that just incredibly helps your balance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This sounds like\u2014I mean, by the time I\u2019m doing 30 minutes of aerobic, then, some anaerobic, then, some balance\u2014sounds like I better schedule an hour-plus a day to be doing exercise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, if you can do that, it\u2019s worth it. And it takes me longer to run three miles than it takes me to walk three miles. Of course, they always look kind of quizzically at me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you a slow runner?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Walking three miles is just as good as running three miles; but when you walk, you go out for a walk. When you run, you go change your clothes, you warm up, you do your run, you cool down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014take the shower. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014you shower, you change, and you\u2019ve spent more time than walking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, I need to be doing exercise\u2014anything else that I need to be doing to age well?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You need to eat a good well-balanced diet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And you need to get your fruits, and your veggies, and your grains, and your dairy products. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou go easy on the red meats \/ go easy on the fats\u2014and very heavy on the veggies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob wants to know, \u201cDoes cheesecake fit into the dairy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That counts as a dairy\u2014yes, I\u2019ve already checked. I\u2019m good on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It counts as a dairy. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; so, exercise and diet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And if you run 25 miles a week, you can enjoy it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I knew I never should have asked you those questions in the first place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Mary Ann knew what she was doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Exercise, diet\u2014anything else that\u2019s going to promote good longevity?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You need to have good preventative medical care. You need to have your cancer screenings. You see your dermatologist. You want to make sure you\u2019ve had your colon screening up to date. If you\u2019re a woman\u2014your breasts\u2014[have your] mammogram up to date. The other thing that a lot of people wonder about is supplements. I think they are way overdone. I think the good Lord allowed us great nutrition if we eat wisely\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014except for vitamin D, which is the only supplement I take. I don\u2019t think you need a lot of supplements. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think this is kind of switching subjects, in a way; but then, as I think about it, it\u2019s not. Emotionally, we need to also practice wellness there; don\u2019t we?\u2014because that does impact us mentally, physically, and spiritually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It does. One of the ways we do it emotionally is we don\u2019t talk to the doctor about good health practices because that just makes us feel guilty. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. I was depressed from the last five minutes we\u2019ve been having this conversation!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, talk to us a bit about practicing healthy emotional wellness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I had a series of interviews with some seniors at a Bible camp two years ago. I asked them\u2014these were folks in their 80s and 90s: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat are the major obstacles to your emotional wellness?\u201d\u00a0 And without question, their first response was self-pity\u2014spending too much time in self-pity. I thought that was instructive, but depression is a huge\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, now, I want to stop you there. What\u2019s behind the self-pity statement?\u00a0 Is it regrets for what they didn\u2019t do right?\u00a0 Is it loneliness taking over and just somebody shrinking and becoming self-absorbed?\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I would have even listed that in my top ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. Honestly, I think I\u2019d have to ask them; but I\u2019m sure there are a lot of different things going into it. But a lot of times, people just have false expectations of what the later years of life should be like and false expectations of what other people\u2014specifically, like their children owe them\u2014and they begin to feel like they are being neglected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey feel cut off from other people and not dealing well with the losses of life, and accepting them, and going on from there; and therefore, pitying themselves for the losses that they\u2019ve endured. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara and I have talked many times about how we really desire, as we grow older, to be positive\u2014not gripey, complaining, self-absorbed like you\u2019re talking about. It makes sense\u2014if we have expectations of others that are too high, and then, we turn it around and make it where it\u2019s self-pity, that can turn into something ugly if you stay in that condition for a decade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And there are other things too. They talked about boredom\u2014that their lives just weren\u2019t full enough. They talked about just being discontented. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey would have waves of spiritual doubt that would come over them\u2014which they would have some struggle with. At times, they would really experience fear. All of those things would add up to rob them of a real emotional wellness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, if you are writing a prescription for someone in this area\u2014and again, this is kind of tricky because it\u2019s easier to write a prescription for high-blood pressure medicine than it is to write a prescription for anxiety, or fear, or loneliness. What kind of a prescription would you write for somebody?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, I think I\u2019d probably quote Paul in Philippians, where he said, \u201cThink on these things\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWhatever is true, whatever is pure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cwhatever is lovely\u2026\u201d\u2014that whole list that he\u2019s got in Philippians 4:8. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It\u2019s a choice of where we focus our minds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I would add Paul\u2019s other prescription for us\u2014it\u2019s found in Galatians 5, verse 22: \u201cBut the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got at the bottom of this passage, John\u2014a quote by D.L. Moody, the famous evangelist\u2014he said, \u201cI\u2019ve had more problems with myself than I\u2019ve had with any other man.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter] I think, if we are allowing the Holy Spirit in our lives access to our hearts to produce this fruit, as we grow older, the fruit ought to get riper. It ought to become delicious; and instead of growing old, negatively, we ought to live lives that are attractive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just appreciate you, as a physician, and your many years of faithful service to so many folks back in Illinois; but also, now, to us\u2014to help us finish our own course and finish it well. Some of our listeners are younger. This is a good word for them to hear as they run their own race. I want to thank you for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>My pleasure. Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and I hope a lot of our listeners will get a copy of your book as well. I passed it around to some friends. In fact, I took it to a physician friend of mine, who I thought: \u201cHe\u2019s working with a lot of patients who are getting older,\u201d and I thought he might want to recommend this book to them. The book is called <em>Wellness for the Glory of God<\/em>. The subtitle is <em>Living Well after 40 with Joy and Contentment in All of Life<\/em>. We have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com and request your copy of the book\u2014order it from us at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you\u2019ll see information about the book available there. You can also order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY if that\u2019s easier\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I\u2019ve been reflecting in recent days on what a busy summer it has been for us personally and for this ministry\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there has been a lot going on this summer. There are times when it feels like the direction our culture is headed\u2014the ground is shifting underneath our feet. I want our listeners to know that things may be shifting in the culture; but things are not shifting, here at FamilyLife. We remain committed to what the Bible teaches about marriage and family. We believe that God\u2019s Word is the firm foundation on which we ought to plant our lives and on which we ought to plant our communities. And we seek, every day, to provide listeners with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and for your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019re grateful for those of you who join with us in this endeavor. We are listener-supported. All that we do, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, could not happen if it weren\u2019t for folks, like you, making a donation\u2014either occasionally or those of you who are Legacy Partners, pitching in each month. We are grateful for your support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One<\/em>. It\u2019s a book about praying together in marriage; and that\u2019s going to be a focus for us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. In the coming weeks, we\u2019re going to be talking more about the importance of prayer in marriage. So, this would be a good book to have as we wrap up summer and start to head into fall together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request a copy of the book when you make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make your donation over the phone; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at Post Office Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne additional note\u2014if this donation is the first donation you\u2019ve given us during 2015\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019d like to send along a special prayer card for you and your family about how you can pray together, as a family, during challenging times. Again, it\u2019s our thank-you for being a part of what God is doing through this ministry as you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And I hope you can be back with us tomorrow\u2014especially, if you are a grandmother, or about to be a grandmother, or you know somebody who is. We are going to talk to a couple of grandmas about what grandma can do to stay better connected with her grandchildren. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["35.38M"],"filesize_raw":["37093724"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303601.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303601.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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a new friend and call me in the morning; a prescription for aging well, according to Dr. John Dunlop. Dunlop reminds us that healthy relationships are vital if we are going to age well.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-08-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is possible\u2014 as you grow old\u2014to be in good physical health and still not experience what Dr. John Dunlop calls wellness for a number of reasons. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I had a series of interviews with some seniors at a Bible camp two years ago. I asked them\u2014these were folks in their 80s and 90s: \u201cWhat are the major obstacles to your emotional wellness?\u201d\u00a0 And without question, their first response was self-pity\u2014spending too much time in self-pity. I thought that was instructive because I\u2019m not sure I would have expected that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There is a lot more to wellness in life than just how your body is doing. We\u2019ll explore that today with Dr. John Dunlop. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I remember when it dawned on me what Solomon was talking about in Ecclesiastes, Chapter 12, when he says, \u201cRemember your Creator in the days of your youth before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, \u2018I have no pleasure in them,\u2019 before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars are darkened.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cHe\u2019s talking about when you get old, and you lose your eyesight.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a challenge\u2014it\u2019s difficult to go through the aging process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. And we have a gentleman who is\u2014well, has studied the process of aging and how we\u2019re to better negotiate these challenging years. Dr. John Dunlop joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. John, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, thank you. It\u2019s a pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>John is a physician\u2014graduate of Johns Hopkins University. He practiced medicine for more than 38 years and continues to do so today. He and his wife Dorothy have been married 43 years\u2014have two sons \/ four grandchildren. He\u2019s written a book called <em>Wellness for the Glory of God<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things you cover in your book, John\u2014that I really liked\u2014was the importance of relationships as we age. Now, I think that\u2019d be an easy one to overlook; but you talk about how you\u2019ve run into people at various walks of life who minimize the importance of having in-depth relationships with others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a part of wellness; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 I mean\u2014how we\u2019re doing with others affects our wellness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Oh, it is so integral to us. And I think of my dad. I mean, Dad was a very high-powered businessman. He was on a number of national boards, and he would\u2014all of his relationships were focused on what he had to do\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014what they were <em>doing<\/em> together. As he got older \/ after he retired, he started to form real friendships that were based, not on what they were <em>doing<\/em> together, but just on the fact that they were two people together; and Dad\u2019s life was richer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You had a patient\u2014he was 72 years old, running 20 miles a week; and yet, you questioned his wellness because of this issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. You know, Jim was running or going to the gym every day; but he had been divorced for 25 years. His children had nothing to do with him because of their bitterness because of the divorce. His whole life was taken up with being physically well, but he had no friends. He would go to the gym\u2014everybody knew his name, and he knew everybody else\u2019s name\u2014but he knew very well that if he wasn\u2019t there the next day, no one would miss him. You know, he was really kind of miserable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you\u2019re a doctor, and you\u2019re seeing a patient who is physically fit but relationally ill, what kind of prescription do you give to that individual? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJim comes to your office; and you go, \u201cYour body is in great shape, but I don\u2019t think you\u2019re well.\u201d\u00a0 What do you say?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, I think we encourage them; but honestly, I think, at that stage, we\u2019re not going to make a big difference\u2014I think it is tragic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are you saying it\u2019s a habit, at that point, that they can\u2019t break?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It would be hard to, and Jim had no spiritual roots at all. So often, as we relate to God \/ as we experience His love, we are able to begin to open up to other people and experience their love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I remember a man that I talked to recently. He had just been through our <em>Stepping Up<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> video series, which is a ten-part video series for men to go through with other men\u2014where relationships like we\u2019re talking about can be forged\u2014heart to heart, man to man, shoulder to shoulder\u2014where some other men have access to your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this guy came up and he said, \u201cDennis, the main thing I got out of the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series was I realized I had no one I was responsible for.\u201d\u00a0 He said: \u201cMy parents are dead. I\u2019m not married. I have no children. I have no living relatives. I realized I need some other friends. I need some people to roll up my sleeves and be real with.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s so devastating. I\u2019ve seen it over and over again. I admit I\u2019ve led a pretty busy life in my 38 years of medical practice\u2014I mean, I was up at 5:30 and at the hospital before 7, often getting home late\u2014and didn\u2019t have a lot of time for deep friendships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow that I\u2019ve \u201cretired\u201d and am only working three days a week, I have a little more discretionary time. In moving to Connecticut, I have listed my priorities\u2014one of them is to have a group of men I can meet with, at least, one morning a week for accountability and sharing life together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m still in the process of putting that together, but that\u2019s one of my goals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You recognize that\u2019s an essential part of wellness and finishing life to the glory of God; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Indeed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It certainly is\u2014yes. And a lot of that, as people get further down the line and become less independent, is where they choose to live. I make a big deal with my elderly patients\u2014helping them to see the advantage of getting out of the family home before they have to quit driving and getting into some type of living facility where they are close enough to walk to people to continue to build relationships once they get old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This was one of the smart things my mom did. She moved to the retirement center\u2014not the nursing home\u2014it wasn\u2019t the nursing home. I mean, it was assisted living, but it was independent assisted living.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe moved there, honestly, a little earlier than I thought she should have moved there. She was vibrant. She was active. She was still driving. But she was very wise because\u2014while she was vibrant, and active, and alert\u2014she could build relationships and community. I think it helped her in those years when her faculties began to fail. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly why, at 67, I gave up my whole life in Chicago to move to Connecticut because that\u2019s where we felt we wanted to be when we were older to give us time to really develop relationships\u2014get into a church \/ build friendships so that we have a support base when we need it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the things you shared earlier, John\u2014that I just want you to do again because I thought this was so good. You talked about your living will and how it was a reflection of the values you have sought to live by your entire life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re defining the <em>end<\/em> of your life around the concept of serving others?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>My power of attorney for medical purposes states that I want all done possible to prolong my life if it looks reasonable\u2014like I will be able to continue to help other people\u2014but if by reason of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual causes, it doesn\u2019t look like I will be able to help other people, don\u2019t just keep me alive. Now, recognizing that the nature of my service may change and I may be lying in a nursing home, praying for people or encouraging them\u2014but that\u2019s fine. I don\u2019t need to be teaching and writing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, earlier, I had a hymn come to mind as we were talking about wellness in the midst of grief. It was the hymn, <em>It Is Well with My Soul<\/em>. As we\u2019re talking about wellness in relationships, I had another song come to mind. It\u2019s\u2014honestly, it\u2019s not a hymn\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but I keep thinking about: \u201cEleanor Rigby who died in the church and was buried along with her name\u2014nobody came. Father McKenzie, who wiped the dirt from his hands as he walked from the grave\u2014no one was saved. All the lonely people; where do they all come from, and where do they all belong?\u201d\u00a0 That Beatles song really captures the sadness that comes as you age without relationships being an integral part of your life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I never listened to that in that context. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, really does. When my kids were juniors in high school, I\u2019d take them to a restaurant. We\u2019d get some donuts, or some bacon and eggs, and we went through the Book of Proverbs. We became friends with some guys who used to meet for breakfast, and I suppose they were there Monday through Friday\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Because\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014because they were always there, no matter what day of the week we showed up; and it wasn\u2019t always the same day. It was clear that those men were enjoying sharing life with one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s what you\u2019re talking about. And you don\u2019t end up there without being intentional about pursuing people. That\u2019s what I\u2019m hearing you saying here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It is. It isn\u2019t the default of our culture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I have to ask you about issues related to aging well physically because my wife said, \u201cIf you go through that interview and you don\u2019t ask him about how you can stay healthy into old age, I\u2019m not going to be happy with you.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Save his marriage\u2014would you, John?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. So, what are the basics that I need to know if I want to age well physically?\u00a0 Here, let me what\u2019s been my default: My mom lived until she was 92 years old. All four of my grandparents lived into their 90s. I told you my dad died when he was 68 from melanoma. So, I go see the dermatologist\u2014I get my moles checked. I\u2019m counting on the fact that my genes are going to carry me into the mature years without any problem. Am I safe?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>John: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s certainly a part of it\u2014not necessarily a credit to <em>your<\/em> choice\u2014[Laughter] \u2014but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ll\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Spoken as a true doc! [Laughter] Way to go!\u00a0 Give me a fist bump, John. Come on\u2014there you go!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>There are things that are more related to your choices, and they are the things that we need to emphasize. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So emphasize away\u2014I\u2019m ready. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, Robert Butler was one of the great geriatricians of several years ago. His famous statement was: \u201cExercise, if available as a prescription, would be the most widely used and effective drug,\u201d\u2014now, that\u2019s a paraphrase; but yes, I think we need to start with exercise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I admit to you: \u201cMy wife, who is a professor of medicine, does all her research on the role of exercise as we get older.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m kind of caught. I don\u2019t really use a \u201cWhat do we choose?\u201d\u2014I don\u2019t think I have a choice! [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You don\u2019t!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what is your regiment?\u00a0 You\u2019re a busy doc up until you moved from six days a week to three days a week. You were getting up early. How were you fitting exercise into what you were doing?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019ve\u2014for years, I love to run. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And I\u2019ve probably run 30,000 miles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And I do 25 a week, at this point; but I had the privilege of constructing my own schedule. So, I would work 12-hour days, Monday and Friday\u2014but only a 2-hour day on Tuesday\u2014and I would do a 10-mile run. I would work a 6-hour day on Thursday, and then, a 16-hour day on Wednesday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, for those of us who can\u2019t do that, what is your prescription for us?\u00a0 What should we be doing?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, you should be spending, at least, 30 minutes a day in some aerobic exercise. You should be doing something anaerobic\u2014throwing around some weights \/ doing a little bit of weight training. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I can\u2019t say that without remembering the lady who\u2014I said, \u201cWell, at least, you could walk, carrying some dumbbells, and do some arm work while you\u2019re walking.\u201d\u00a0 She said: \u201cWell, I walk with my husband. Is that enough?\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThat\u2019s the dumbbell I walk with.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>So, we should do some stretching, and we should do something to help us with our balance because that\u2019s how we prevent falls. So, walking, or swimming, or\u2014if you are going to the gym\u2014getting on the treadmill or an elliptical\u2014something like that\u2014some type of weights, stretching, and balance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What\u2019s the balance exercise?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You know, just standing on one foot helps. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>For how long?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>For a minute or so. We have this\u2014it\u2019s a rubber, inflated disc that\u2019s about four inches high \/ about twelve inches wide in diameter. When I get out of the shower, I stand a minute on it on one foot\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that just incredibly helps your balance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This sounds like\u2014I mean, by the time I\u2019m doing 30 minutes of aerobic, then, some anaerobic, then, some balance\u2014sounds like I better schedule an hour-plus a day to be doing exercise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, if you can do that, it\u2019s worth it. And it takes me longer to run three miles than it takes me to walk three miles. Of course, they always look kind of quizzically at me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you a slow runner?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Walking three miles is just as good as running three miles; but when you walk, you go out for a walk. When you run, you go change your clothes, you warm up, you do your run, you cool down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014take the shower. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>\u2014you shower, you change, and you\u2019ve spent more time than walking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. So, I need to be doing exercise\u2014anything else that I need to be doing to age well?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You need to eat a good well-balanced diet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And you need to get your fruits, and your veggies, and your grains, and your dairy products. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou go easy on the red meats \/ go easy on the fats\u2014and very heavy on the veggies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Bob wants to know, \u201cDoes cheesecake fit into the dairy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That counts as a dairy\u2014yes, I\u2019ve already checked. I\u2019m good on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It counts as a dairy. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay; so, exercise and diet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And if you run 25 miles a week, you can enjoy it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I knew I never should have asked you those questions in the first place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Mary Ann knew what she was doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Exercise, diet\u2014anything else that\u2019s going to promote good longevity?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>You need to have good preventative medical care. You need to have your cancer screenings. You see your dermatologist. You want to make sure you\u2019ve had your colon screening up to date. If you\u2019re a woman\u2014your breasts\u2014[have your] mammogram up to date. The other thing that a lot of people wonder about is supplements. I think they are way overdone. I think the good Lord allowed us great nutrition if we eat wisely\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014except for vitamin D, which is the only supplement I take. I don\u2019t think you need a lot of supplements. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think this is kind of switching subjects, in a way; but then, as I think about it, it\u2019s not. Emotionally, we need to also practice wellness there; don\u2019t we?\u2014because that does impact us mentally, physically, and spiritually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It does. One of the ways we do it emotionally is we don\u2019t talk to the doctor about good health practices because that just makes us feel guilty. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. I was depressed from the last five minutes we\u2019ve been having this conversation!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, talk to us a bit about practicing healthy emotional wellness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>I had a series of interviews with some seniors at a Bible camp two years ago. I asked them\u2014these were folks in their 80s and 90s: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat are the major obstacles to your emotional wellness?\u201d\u00a0 And without question, their first response was self-pity\u2014spending too much time in self-pity. I thought that was instructive, but depression is a huge\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, now, I want to stop you there. What\u2019s behind the self-pity statement?\u00a0 Is it regrets for what they didn\u2019t do right?\u00a0 Is it loneliness taking over and just somebody shrinking and becoming self-absorbed?\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I would have even listed that in my top ten. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. Honestly, I think I\u2019d have to ask them; but I\u2019m sure there are a lot of different things going into it. But a lot of times, people just have false expectations of what the later years of life should be like and false expectations of what other people\u2014specifically, like their children owe them\u2014and they begin to feel like they are being neglected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey feel cut off from other people and not dealing well with the losses of life, and accepting them, and going on from there; and therefore, pitying themselves for the losses that they\u2019ve endured. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara and I have talked many times about how we really desire, as we grow older, to be positive\u2014not gripey, complaining, self-absorbed like you\u2019re talking about. It makes sense\u2014if we have expectations of others that are too high, and then, we turn it around and make it where it\u2019s self-pity, that can turn into something ugly if you stay in that condition for a decade. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>And there are other things too. They talked about boredom\u2014that their lives just weren\u2019t full enough. They talked about just being discontented. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey would have waves of spiritual doubt that would come over them\u2014which they would have some struggle with. At times, they would really experience fear. All of those things would add up to rob them of a real emotional wellness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, if you are writing a prescription for someone in this area\u2014and again, this is kind of tricky because it\u2019s easier to write a prescription for high-blood pressure medicine than it is to write a prescription for anxiety, or fear, or loneliness. What kind of a prescription would you write for somebody?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Well, I think I\u2019d probably quote Paul in Philippians, where he said, \u201cThink on these things\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWhatever is true, whatever is pure\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cwhatever is lovely\u2026\u201d\u2014that whole list that he\u2019s got in Philippians 4:8. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>It\u2019s a choice of where we focus our minds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And I would add Paul\u2019s other prescription for us\u2014it\u2019s found in Galatians 5, verse 22: \u201cBut the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got at the bottom of this passage, John\u2014a quote by D.L. Moody, the famous evangelist\u2014he said, \u201cI\u2019ve had more problems with myself than I\u2019ve had with any other man.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter] I think, if we are allowing the Holy Spirit in our lives access to our hearts to produce this fruit, as we grow older, the fruit ought to get riper. It ought to become delicious; and instead of growing old, negatively, we ought to live lives that are attractive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just appreciate you, as a physician, and your many years of faithful service to so many folks back in Illinois; but also, now, to us\u2014to help us finish our own course and finish it well. Some of our listeners are younger. This is a good word for them to hear as they run their own race. I want to thank you for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John: <\/strong>My pleasure. Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and I hope a lot of our listeners will get a copy of your book as well. I passed it around to some friends. In fact, I took it to a physician friend of mine, who I thought: \u201cHe\u2019s working with a lot of patients who are getting older,\u201d and I thought he might want to recommend this book to them. The book is called <em>Wellness for the Glory of God<\/em>. The subtitle is <em>Living Well after 40 with Joy and Contentment in All of Life<\/em>. We have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com and request your copy of the book\u2014order it from us at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and you\u2019ll see information about the book available there. You can also order by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY if that\u2019s easier\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I\u2019ve been reflecting in recent days on what a busy summer it has been for us personally and for this ministry\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there has been a lot going on this summer. There are times when it feels like the direction our culture is headed\u2014the ground is shifting underneath our feet. I want our listeners to know that things may be shifting in the culture; but things are not shifting, here at FamilyLife. We remain committed to what the Bible teaches about marriage and family. We believe that God\u2019s Word is the firm foundation on which we ought to plant our lives and on which we ought to plant our communities. And we seek, every day, to provide listeners with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and for your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019re grateful for those of you who join with us in this endeavor. We are listener-supported. All that we do, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, could not happen if it weren\u2019t for folks, like you, making a donation\u2014either occasionally or those of you who are Legacy Partners, pitching in each month. We are grateful for your support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One<\/em>. It\u2019s a book about praying together in marriage; and that\u2019s going to be a focus for us, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. In the coming weeks, we\u2019re going to be talking more about the importance of prayer in marriage. So, this would be a good book to have as we wrap up summer and start to head into fall together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request a copy of the book when you make a donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Just click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. You can make your donation over the phone; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at Post Office Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne additional note\u2014if this donation is the first donation you\u2019ve given us during 2015\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019d like to send along a special prayer card for you and your family about how you can pray together, as a family, during challenging times. Again, it\u2019s our thank-you for being a part of what God is doing through this ministry as you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And I hope you can be back with us tomorrow\u2014especially, if you are a grandmother, or about to be a grandmother, or you know somebody who is. We are going to talk to a couple of grandmas about what grandma can do to stay better connected with her grandchildren. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303601","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303601"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303601"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303601"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303601"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303601"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303601"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303601"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}