{"id":303567,"date":"2015-07-09T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-07-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/motherhood-a-rewarding-priority\/"},"modified":"2015-07-09T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-07-09T15:00:00","slug":"motherhood-a-rewarding-priority","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/motherhood-a-rewarding-priority\/","title":{"rendered":"Motherhood: A Rewarding Priority"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sandy Calwell decided to stay home with her son instead of pursuing her career as a media executive. Sandy and her husband, Ken, talk about her transition.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-07-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.55M","filesize_raw":"23647772","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2838],"tags":[5735,5736,4294,5737,5734,4621,5058,5738,5739],"podcast_series":[7882],"cwp_profile":[9269],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303567","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-mothers","tag-career-change","tag-changing-careers","tag-family","tag-family-life","tag-family-members","tag-stay-at-home-mom","tag-success","tag-work-at-home-moms","tag-working-mother","podcast_series-what-if-parenting-is-the-most-important-job-in-the-world","cwp_profile-sandy-and-ken-calwell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303567\/motherhood-a-rewarding-priority","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303567\/motherhood-a-rewarding-priority","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"LJ1Kl1Wqlj\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/motherhood-a-rewarding-priority\/\">Motherhood: A Rewarding Priority<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/motherhood-a-rewarding-priority\/embed\/#?secret=LJ1Kl1Wqlj\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Motherhood: A Rewarding Priority&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"LJ1Kl1Wqlj\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-07-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-07-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sandy Calwell had a new baby boy and an offer for a job\u2014the job she had always dreamed of. So, she got ready to juggle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>I really didn\u2019t know any stay-at-home moms. All the other women that I knew did both. I don\u2019t think I really thought too deeply about the idea of it. We had discussed it, and I thought that that was probably the way that we should go. I was going to try it; but in the back of my mind, I thought, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to give this a good couple-years\u2019 run and see how it goes. I\u2019m not really expecting it to be that much.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, July 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Sandy Calwell had never stopped to consider that she might choose to stay home and be a mom. We\u2019ll hear today how she wrestled with that choice. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>Family Life Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. You know, based on what we have already heard this week from our guests, I\u2019m just guessing there have been a lot of interesting moments in this relationship. Wouldn\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>[Laughter] They did say they had a lot of stories. [Laughter]\u00a0 Well, you heard earlier on the broadcast\u2014you heard the story of Ken and Sandy Calwell\u2014a most unusual dating relationship where Ken started leaving a rose outside on Sandy\u2019s car after each church service for six weeks. He built up from one rose to, finally, six roses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a great story because Sandy turned the tables on Ken\u2014had him investigated\u2014found out who he was, and then, left her card on his windshield. Then, he gave her a ticket; and then, finally, gave her the invitation to get married\u2014along with a 90-day invitation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u2014timeline.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to prepare for the wedding. The rest, as they say, is history. Ken\/Sandy, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is a great love story, no doubt about it. Sandy is the author of a book, <em>What if Parenting Is the Most Important Job in the World?: 20 Lessons You Want to Teach Your Own Children<\/em>. She\u2019s had ten years in the broadcast television industry. She\u2019s a full-time wife and mom, and they live in the Portland area. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou had a great career going as you started your marriage and this blue-eyed, handsome guy swept you off your feet. For a couple of years, things went pretty well; right?\u00a0 You were just continuing to climb the corporate ladder; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Well, like I said, we got married; and about nine months later, we ended up moving. I worked for a short time at a different station, right before that happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>But yes, moving to a different market meant I had to look for work all over again\u2014that started the process again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And when he came home and said, \u201cThey want to move me to Dallas,\u201d\u2014you were living in Wichita.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Well, it was funny. He actually\u2014the way I found out is\u2014I came back from a sales call. I went back to the station that I was working at, and my boss was standing at the back door. He goes, \u201cSo, you\u2019re moving to Dallas?\u201d\u00a0 I just looked him; and I go, \u201cWhat!\u201d because the news department had already heard about it. They heard about it before, really, Ken even had a chance to talk to me about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, there was a reason why they\u2019d heard about it first\u2014it made news.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is Pizza Hut corporate headquarters moving from Wichita, Kansas, to Dallas, Texas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Dallas, Texas; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you remember how you got the news of the transfer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Well, I got it on the radio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Yes. Basically, what happened was the news department got a leak on it\u2014found out about it. I had just come back from\u2014out looking at test markets for Pizza Hut\u2014had landed at the airport, gone back home, and turned the radio on. I heard, \u201cPizza Hut moves its headquarters to Dallas.\u201d\u00a0 I called the headquarters and I said, \u201cI think I just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cdid I hear this?\u201d\u00a0 The PR guy had his day full that day, and he confirmed it for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was there any question, at that point?\u00a0 Did the two of you talk about: \u201cShould we stay in Wichita?\u00a0 I\u2019ll find something else to do around here. You\u2019ve got a good job at the TV station.\u201d\u00a0 Did you have that conversation; do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think it was really ever a thought because, I think, pretty early on, it was easy to see that Ken\u2019s career was doing really, really well. Even as happy as I was, and as well as I was doing, really, I just couldn\u2019t compete with what Ken was doing. Really, just as leader of our family, even as new at it as we were, it just seemed real\u2014I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t think we gave it a lot of thought. I think it seemed just reasonable that we would do this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was unfortunate that it had to happen as quickly as it did. I think we had 30 days to respond to it. But, you know\u2014when they skimmed the top executives out of there and we all moved to Dallas\u2014to a certain degree, it was kind of an adventure because we had just been married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had been in Wichita\u2014I loved Wichita\u2014but I had been in Wichita my whole life. Moving to Dallas sounded fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>And I think, too, Dallas is a huge media market. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>It has that reputation. So, I think there was a little bit of an, \u201cOh, boy!\u201d\u00a0 Sandy was a very strong performer within the Wichita market\u2014so, I kind of the thought of, \u201cShe\u2019ll probably do well in finding a position there as well.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you left your business card at the top ABC affiliate; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes, I put r\u00e9sum\u00e9s out everywhere in Dallas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You had the ladder\u2014the corporate ladder\u2014that you were climbing. You still had it leaning against the wall, at that point; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes. That was the direction I was heading.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You moved there; and six months later, you get this phone call of really a phenomenal job offer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Had you been working somewhere else in the six months in between?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, I had not. We had just moved there \/ we had built a new house. Really, six months\u2014for anybody who can appreciate moving, it goes pretty quick\u2014there is a lot to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you like not having to get up and go to work?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, I mean, I think it was good that we were busy enough with everything else; but I missed it. I was busy interviewing\u2014so that was a job in and of itself. It was me just getting out and meeting folks and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you were itching to get back in the game.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Absolutely; absolutely. I was working, full-time, at getting back into the industry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Before you get the call about the job opening, you got another little call\u2014this one in the form of what I would imagine was one of those little white sticks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, actually, I just went in for just a normal\u2014just a normal checkup. She came out of the office and said, \u201cDo you realize you\u2019re pregnant?\u201d\u00a0 I go, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cWell, yes.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo, I had no idea.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys weren\u2019t trying to get pregnant \/ you weren\u2019t not trying?\u00a0 What was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>We weren\u2019t not trying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u2014but I guess didn\u2019t realize it was going to happen quite that quickly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, were you excited, at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Oh, yes, absolutely. I was thrilled, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did you immediately go to the career-thought, though, as you found out you were pregnant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>I think that I had just assumed, at that point, that all the other women that I knew did both. I really didn\u2019t know any stay-at-home moms. I don\u2019t think I really thought too deeply about the idea of it. We had discussed it, and I thought that that was probably the way that we should go\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Meaning to stay home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>To stay home. I was going to try it; but I think, to be completely honest, in the back of my mind, I thought, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to give this a good couple-years\u2019 run and see how it goes. I\u2019m not really expecting it to be that much; and I\u2019ll probably jump back in, at some point.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s really where I was, at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really where the book kind of came out of\u2014is that fact that I was just so pleasantly surprised at how rewarding staying at home was, and how much of the gifts and talents that God gave me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that I think made me good in broadcast sales\u2014translated to running a home and raising a child. I could take all that energy and focus it on something that was far more important. I think this book comes out of that whole idea that I was wrestling with the decision and not having a lot of resources to help guide me through it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ken, as a husband, and now as a new expectant father, how did you handle the news?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>First of all, incredibly excited that we were expecting a baby and thrilled with that. At the same time, yes, I think there was a little bit of a\u2014you know, at that point in your marriage, you\u2019re starting to know each other pretty well. I knew how important career was to Sandy. It\u2019s interesting. The very first thing I learned about Sandy was actually back at that church that I met her in\u2014the day that she became a new member\u2014it was Sandy Totten. One of the very first lines\u2014you have two lines to describe yourself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the line she used in there was \u201cmedia professional executive\u201d\u2014it talked about her career. That\u2019s how she\u2014that was a big part of how she defined herself, at the time. So, I knew this was going to be challenging\u2014I didn\u2019t know how challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, like a lot of things in life, it was really a journey. Sandy could talk about it far better than me. But I think it was, at the time\u2014once she made that decision that she was going to stay home\u2014to me, it is like, \u201cDecision made\u201d; you know?\u00a0 What I didn\u2019t realize was that was just the beginning of a journey that she had to fully\u2014maybe, at the time, it was a decision more in her head, and it had to become a decision in her heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. Sandy, I have to ask, \u201cYou had already determined before your son was born that you were going to, at least, try this stay-at-home thing for a while.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve talked to so many moms\u2014who have had that experience of the baby is born\/ placed in their arms\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s transcendent \/ it\u2019s an epiphany. It changes everything; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What do you remember about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Exactly like you said. I mean, you can never expect what happens to you\u2014it\u2019s just a change of heart. A friend of mine told me, when I was pregnant, she said that, \u201cYou think that you love Ken as much as your heart can hold,\u201d\u2014now, I\u2019m going to get emotional [emotion in voice]\u2014she goes, \u201cBut when you have a child, your heart expands; and somehow you have this capacity of loving even greater.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t understand what she was talking about, but it does. It happens <em>instantly<\/em> because, as soon as you see that little baby\u2014or even back it up to when they start kicking you or you see them on a sonogram or something\u2014I\u2019m still amazed. I look at my 15-year-old\u2019s size 12 feet, and I think, \u201cThat\u2019s the same little foot that kicked me in the ribs.\u201d\u00a0 It brings you to tears because it\u2019s so precious! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt does\u2014it just changes your heart \/ changes your focus. To that degree, it makes it somewhat easier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut once you\u2019re in the thick of having a newborn at home, and you feel like you don\u2019t have an owner\u2019s manual, and you\u2019re not living in a town where you have friends and family nearby, you\u2019re like: \u201cWhat am I doing?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t go to school for this. I have a little boy. I come from all sisters. I don\u2019t know the first thing about it, and I\u2019m going to really mess this up!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to mess this up. I want to do this right because I don\u2019t know how many chances we\u2019re going to have at this.\u201d\u00a0 As it\u2019s worked out, we had one\u2014we didn\u2019t know that, at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sandy, just speaking back to what you\u2019re talking about\u2014the emotions of that baby being placed in your arms, as a mother\u2014someone has said, \u201cA child is a mother\u2019s heart walking around outside her body.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes. And you still feel that way, even when they\u2019re grown, I\u2019m sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, no doubt\u2014no doubt about it. Then, it becomes grandchildren\u2014so, it really is a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u00a0Right. You\u2019ve got a lot of heart going around!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got a lot of heart going around. But there is the reality of moving from the corporate community, where the payoffs are instant and sometimes immediate, to now beginning to build into the life of a human being\u2014that is like a forest\u2014it takes a long time before you see the fruit of your hands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things you mention in your book\u2014you have 20 lessons you want to teach your own children. It\u2019s interesting\u2014the first one begins with yourself\u2014you said, \u201cLesson Number 1: Our Work Is <em>Not<\/em> Who We Are.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cOur Work Is <em>Not<\/em> Who We Are.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It may be I\u2019m writing that book for myself; you know?\u00a0 I\u2019m reaffirming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did you go through an identity crisis?\u00a0 Did that happen?\u00a0 Ken was talking about you being goal-oriented. There\u2019s a lot of parenting that doesn\u2019t fit into three objectives and wrapping things up at the end of the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, and I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I write in my book about there was one of those moments, where we were applying for the house loan. They have it on the line\u2014what your occupation is. Well, I\u2019ve never not had an occupation to put down. I\u2019m just sitting there, kind of stammering like, \u201cAh, what do I put down?\u201d\u00a0 The lady leans over; and she goes: \u201cYou know, you stay at home\u2014just \u2018homemaker.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cThat will be fine. Just put \u2018homemaker.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomehow, it just seemed so dismissive; you know?\u00a0 I sat there; and I was like: \u201cWhoa, okay. That\u2019s who I am now. It may not be who I am 20 years from now, but it\u2019s who I am now.\u201d\u00a0 It was kind of a moment like: \u201cAlright, well, if that\u2019s who I am, then, I need to give it my all. I need to figure out what I\u2019m doing and how I\u2019m going to do it.\u201d That\u2019s when I went in search of\u2014because I\u2019m a big reader\u2014I went in search of materials out there that would help me navigate this new role\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because like Ken said, whatever the goal is, I\u2019ve got to figure out quantifiable, measurable ways of getting to it or I feel like I\u2019m lost. I went to the library \/ I went to bookstores\u2014and perused them quite a bit\u2014and could not find anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re speaking now of books\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u00a0Books, yes, anything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that speak to women who have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u2014that were having that decision to make\u2014that were walking away from that kind of a life and trying to reinvent themselves and redefine what their purpose in life was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Even though there are an increasing number of women who are doing this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Absolutely, but 15 years ago, I think that\u2014at least, my impression was that the culture was still not quite there yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, 15 years ago, the books I remember are the books that said: \u201cYou can do this!\u00a0 You can be in the boardroom every day, and be a great wife and a great mom, and raise your kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Supermoms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m sure you had some thought, \u201cMaybe, that\u2019s what I\u2019m supposed to be doing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, you had said you were going to give this stay-at-home-mom thing a try for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was there a period when your son was six months, or a year, or two years when you started thinking, \u201cMaybe, it\u2019s time to get back in the game\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Actually, no. I think it became\u2014like I said, I had these goals set up; and I had given myself two years. I\u2019m glad I gave myself two years because, if it had been less than that, I may have done that very thing. But I knew I needed some breathing room. I needed to step away from it in a long enough period of time, where it would give me a perspective; and it did. At the end of two years, I was already committed to what I was doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ken had a good job\u2014was doing well. You guys weren\u2019t financially-pinched.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But at the same time, you had to stop and think, \u201cYou know, if I was making some decent money here, we could accelerate our lifestyle a little bit.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did that factor in on some of this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It\u2019s tempting\u2014I mean, it\u2019s very tempting. You see how much money you can make in certain arenas. Broadcast sales can be a very lucrative position. It was tempting because it was difficult for me to switch gears from providing for myself to having\u2014being\u2014what I felt was being provided for. Even though Ken, from the moment I met him, it was all about \u201cus,\u201d \u201cus,\u201d \u201cus,\u201d\u2014\u201cour money\u201d \/ \u201cour plans\u201d\u2014and \u201cWhat is mine is yours,\u201d\u2014it took me a while before I could really adopt that, truly in my head, because it just felt like I wasn\u2019t contributing. I thought, \u201cIf only I was making this kind of money, think of what I could do and we could do.\u201d\u00a0 It was just so wrong-minded. I don\u2019t know\u2014I was just so trapped in the way that I\u2019d always thought.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. There is also the sense that, if you\u2019re in the workplace, at the end of a month, you can look back and say, \u201cThis is what I did,\u201d and, \u201cHere\u2019s the scorecard,\u201d and, \u201cI succeeded this month.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes. That\u2019s where a lot of the frustration came, early on, as any parent can attest\u2014is when they\u2019re little\u2014and the toddler years, in particular, were a challenge for me because I\u2019m like, \u201cAm I making any difference here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThese are the diapers I changed. Look at here\u2014wow!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes, it just didn\u2019t seem like you were\u2014the checks on my list were not very many. I had a lot that I wanted to accomplish, and it didn\u2019t feel like I was really doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ken, as a husband and a provider of your family, what coaching tips would you have for another husband\/father as he\u2019s attempting to love his wife, and really care for her, and maximize who she is?\u00a0 What would you say to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s a couple of things. One thing is listening really well\u2014really listening and trying to understand where she\u2019s coming from on things. I think, also, it\u2019s easy to come home from work\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and you haven\u2019t been there all day\u2014you haven\u2019t been there all day. I think it\u2019s easy to come, right from work, and be in that mode. So, I think a tip is just being able to come home\u2014and in your trip home, if you can stop and think a little bit about: \u201cOkay, what\u2019s her day been like today?\u00a0 Where has she been?\u201d Try to guess what her day\u2014where she\u2019s coming from. So, when you walk in the door, you\u2019re trying to think: \u201cGet in her world as soon as you can. Try to understand what she did today,\u201d and \u201cWhat does she think are the high points and low points?\u201d and things like that. It\u2019s having a time, between work and home, to think about that so, when you come in the door, you\u2019re asking questions\u2014not telling her about you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, exactly. I think what most men really miss is\u2014they miss the power of words\u2014that they can esteem their wife and the mother of their children for the value of investing in the next generation and investing in our family and children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, on more than one occasion, I\u2019d come home, and I\u2019d find Barbara\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it was the equivalent of her being tied up in a corner by the kids. They had mugged her, emotionally, and had gotten the upper hand. She just needed someone to say: \u201cYou know what, Sweetheart?\u00a0 You\u2019re doing <em>the <\/em>most important job in the world. You are investing in our children. Thank you for keeping our home a place of peace,\u201d\u2014even though, at points, it may not seem like it, with a family\u2014but \u201cThank you for investing in the next generation.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think a man needs to realize, with his wife, he has to esteem her because the world is not going to applaud her rescuing a two-year-old from throwing a fit on the floor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No, but of course, our focus ought to be, not on what the world will give us accolades for, but on: \u201cWhat will honor and please God?\u00a0 What is it He\u2019s called us to?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s where you\u2019ve got to wrestle with the decision: \u201cWhat are you going to do, as a mom and as a family?\u00a0 How are you going to make this work once you have kids?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFolks may come to a conclusion that is different than the one Sandy came to. There may be circumstances in your life that are very different; but it does help, I think, to have the wisdom and counsel of others who have wrestled with this decision to try to decide what is right for you to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Sandy has written a book that\u2019s called <em>What if Parenting Is the Most Important Job in the World?<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It\u2019s a book that walks through how she processed the choice in her life. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ll find Sandy\u2019s book there; and you can order it from us, online, if you\u2019d like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Look for the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d to order a copy of Sandy Calwell\u2019s book, <em>What if Parenting Is the Most Important Job in the World?<\/em>\u00a0 You can also call to order. Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I was just recently with a friend of mine. His daughter and new son-in-law had just come back from one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways. He was smiling\u2014he said: \u201cAfter the event, the couple came over to Mom and Dad\u2019s house. They sat down, and they were talking and debriefing.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cMy daughter could not quit talking about the getaway\u2014what she\u2019d learned and the things she\u2019d realized.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was smiling and laughing as he was telling the story; but then, he looked at me and said: \u201cI\u2019m just so grateful for FamilyLife. I\u2019m grateful for all that you guys do. I\u2019m grateful that there is a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> to send my daughter and son-in-law to\u2014to help them get pointed in the right direction as they start their marriage together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this friend, by the way, is somebody who I know is also a financial supporter of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe is somebody who has said, \u201cI am grateful for what you do, and I want to express that gratitude in a tangible way.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, that\u2019s encouraging to us because, as a listener-supported ministry, we couldn\u2019t do all that we\u2019re doing without folks, like you, who pitch in, from time to time, so that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> can continue. We\u2019re grateful to have you as part of the team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you\u2019d like to make a donation to help support this ministry today, you can do that by going to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d\u2014 make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make your donation over the phone. Or you can mail a donation to us, if you\u2019d like, at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. And we\u2019re always encouraged when we hear from listeners. So, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for getting in touch with us and for whatever you\u2019re able to do in support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to go in a little different direction in our conversation with Ken and Sandy Calwell. We want to hear about an event that took place in Ken\u2019s life\u2014I think this was before the two of you even met\u2014but this was a life-altering \/ actually, a life-threatening event\u2014and we\u2019ll hear about it tomorrow. Hope you can join us back for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.55M"],"filesize_raw":["23647772"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303567.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303567.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Calwell decided to stay home with her son instead of pursuing her career as a media executive. Sandy and her husband, Ken, talk about her transition.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-07-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sandy Calwell had a new baby boy and an offer for a job\u2014the job she had always dreamed of. So, she got ready to juggle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>I really didn\u2019t know any stay-at-home moms. All the other women that I knew did both. I don\u2019t think I really thought too deeply about the idea of it. We had discussed it, and I thought that that was probably the way that we should go. I was going to try it; but in the back of my mind, I thought, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to give this a good couple-years\u2019 run and see how it goes. I\u2019m not really expecting it to be that much.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, July 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Sandy Calwell had never stopped to consider that she might choose to stay home and be a mom. We\u2019ll hear today how she wrestled with that choice. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>Family Life Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. You know, based on what we have already heard this week from our guests, I\u2019m just guessing there have been a lot of interesting moments in this relationship. Wouldn\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>[Laughter] They did say they had a lot of stories. [Laughter]\u00a0 Well, you heard earlier on the broadcast\u2014you heard the story of Ken and Sandy Calwell\u2014a most unusual dating relationship where Ken started leaving a rose outside on Sandy\u2019s car after each church service for six weeks. He built up from one rose to, finally, six roses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a great story because Sandy turned the tables on Ken\u2014had him investigated\u2014found out who he was, and then, left her card on his windshield. Then, he gave her a ticket; and then, finally, gave her the invitation to get married\u2014along with a 90-day invitation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u2014timeline.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to prepare for the wedding. The rest, as they say, is history. Ken\/Sandy, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is a great love story, no doubt about it. Sandy is the author of a book, <em>What if Parenting Is the Most Important Job in the World?: 20 Lessons You Want to Teach Your Own Children<\/em>. She\u2019s had ten years in the broadcast television industry. She\u2019s a full-time wife and mom, and they live in the Portland area. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou had a great career going as you started your marriage and this blue-eyed, handsome guy swept you off your feet. For a couple of years, things went pretty well; right?\u00a0 You were just continuing to climb the corporate ladder; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Well, like I said, we got married; and about nine months later, we ended up moving. I worked for a short time at a different station, right before that happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>But yes, moving to a different market meant I had to look for work all over again\u2014that started the process again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And when he came home and said, \u201cThey want to move me to Dallas,\u201d\u2014you were living in Wichita.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong> Well, it was funny. He actually\u2014the way I found out is\u2014I came back from a sales call. I went back to the station that I was working at, and my boss was standing at the back door. He goes, \u201cSo, you\u2019re moving to Dallas?\u201d\u00a0 I just looked him; and I go, \u201cWhat!\u201d because the news department had already heard about it. They heard about it before, really, Ken even had a chance to talk to me about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, there was a reason why they\u2019d heard about it first\u2014it made news.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is Pizza Hut corporate headquarters moving from Wichita, Kansas, to Dallas, Texas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Dallas, Texas; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Do you remember how you got the news of the transfer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Well, I got it on the radio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Yes. Basically, what happened was the news department got a leak on it\u2014found out about it. I had just come back from\u2014out looking at test markets for Pizza Hut\u2014had landed at the airport, gone back home, and turned the radio on. I heard, \u201cPizza Hut moves its headquarters to Dallas.\u201d\u00a0 I called the headquarters and I said, \u201cI think I just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cdid I hear this?\u201d\u00a0 The PR guy had his day full that day, and he confirmed it for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was there any question, at that point?\u00a0 Did the two of you talk about: \u201cShould we stay in Wichita?\u00a0 I\u2019ll find something else to do around here. You\u2019ve got a good job at the TV station.\u201d\u00a0 Did you have that conversation; do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think it was really ever a thought because, I think, pretty early on, it was easy to see that Ken\u2019s career was doing really, really well. Even as happy as I was, and as well as I was doing, really, I just couldn\u2019t compete with what Ken was doing. Really, just as leader of our family, even as new at it as we were, it just seemed real\u2014I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t think we gave it a lot of thought. I think it seemed just reasonable that we would do this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was unfortunate that it had to happen as quickly as it did. I think we had 30 days to respond to it. But, you know\u2014when they skimmed the top executives out of there and we all moved to Dallas\u2014to a certain degree, it was kind of an adventure because we had just been married. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had been in Wichita\u2014I loved Wichita\u2014but I had been in Wichita my whole life. Moving to Dallas sounded fun. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>And I think, too, Dallas is a huge media market. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>It has that reputation. So, I think there was a little bit of an, \u201cOh, boy!\u201d\u00a0 Sandy was a very strong performer within the Wichita market\u2014so, I kind of the thought of, \u201cShe\u2019ll probably do well in finding a position there as well.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you left your business card at the top ABC affiliate; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes, I put r\u00e9sum\u00e9s out everywhere in Dallas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You had the ladder\u2014the corporate ladder\u2014that you were climbing. You still had it leaning against the wall, at that point; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes. That was the direction I was heading.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You moved there; and six months later, you get this phone call of really a phenomenal job offer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Had you been working somewhere else in the six months in between?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, I had not. We had just moved there \/ we had built a new house. Really, six months\u2014for anybody who can appreciate moving, it goes pretty quick\u2014there is a lot to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you like not having to get up and go to work?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, I mean, I think it was good that we were busy enough with everything else; but I missed it. I was busy interviewing\u2014so that was a job in and of itself. It was me just getting out and meeting folks and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you were itching to get back in the game.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Absolutely; absolutely. I was working, full-time, at getting back into the industry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Before you get the call about the job opening, you got another little call\u2014this one in the form of what I would imagine was one of those little white sticks?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, actually, I just went in for just a normal\u2014just a normal checkup. She came out of the office and said, \u201cDo you realize you\u2019re pregnant?\u201d\u00a0 I go, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cWell, yes.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo, I had no idea.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys weren\u2019t trying to get pregnant \/ you weren\u2019t not trying?\u00a0 What was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>We weren\u2019t not trying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u2014but I guess didn\u2019t realize it was going to happen quite that quickly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, were you excited, at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Oh, yes, absolutely. I was thrilled, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did you immediately go to the career-thought, though, as you found out you were pregnant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>I think that I had just assumed, at that point, that all the other women that I knew did both. I really didn\u2019t know any stay-at-home moms. I don\u2019t think I really thought too deeply about the idea of it. We had discussed it, and I thought that that was probably the way that we should go\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Meaning to stay home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>To stay home. I was going to try it; but I think, to be completely honest, in the back of my mind, I thought, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to give this a good couple-years\u2019 run and see how it goes. I\u2019m not really expecting it to be that much; and I\u2019ll probably jump back in, at some point.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s really where I was, at that point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really where the book kind of came out of\u2014is that fact that I was just so pleasantly surprised at how rewarding staying at home was, and how much of the gifts and talents that God gave me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that I think made me good in broadcast sales\u2014translated to running a home and raising a child. I could take all that energy and focus it on something that was far more important. I think this book comes out of that whole idea that I was wrestling with the decision and not having a lot of resources to help guide me through it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ken, as a husband, and now as a new expectant father, how did you handle the news?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>First of all, incredibly excited that we were expecting a baby and thrilled with that. At the same time, yes, I think there was a little bit of a\u2014you know, at that point in your marriage, you\u2019re starting to know each other pretty well. I knew how important career was to Sandy. It\u2019s interesting. The very first thing I learned about Sandy was actually back at that church that I met her in\u2014the day that she became a new member\u2014it was Sandy Totten. One of the very first lines\u2014you have two lines to describe yourself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the line she used in there was \u201cmedia professional executive\u201d\u2014it talked about her career. That\u2019s how she\u2014that was a big part of how she defined herself, at the time. So, I knew this was going to be challenging\u2014I didn\u2019t know how challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, like a lot of things in life, it was really a journey. Sandy could talk about it far better than me. But I think it was, at the time\u2014once she made that decision that she was going to stay home\u2014to me, it is like, \u201cDecision made\u201d; you know?\u00a0 What I didn\u2019t realize was that was just the beginning of a journey that she had to fully\u2014maybe, at the time, it was a decision more in her head, and it had to become a decision in her heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. Sandy, I have to ask, \u201cYou had already determined before your son was born that you were going to, at least, try this stay-at-home thing for a while.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019ve talked to so many moms\u2014who have had that experience of the baby is born\/ placed in their arms\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s transcendent \/ it\u2019s an epiphany. It changes everything; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What do you remember about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Exactly like you said. I mean, you can never expect what happens to you\u2014it\u2019s just a change of heart. A friend of mine told me, when I was pregnant, she said that, \u201cYou think that you love Ken as much as your heart can hold,\u201d\u2014now, I\u2019m going to get emotional [emotion in voice]\u2014she goes, \u201cBut when you have a child, your heart expands; and somehow you have this capacity of loving even greater.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t understand what she was talking about, but it does. It happens <em>instantly<\/em> because, as soon as you see that little baby\u2014or even back it up to when they start kicking you or you see them on a sonogram or something\u2014I\u2019m still amazed. I look at my 15-year-old\u2019s size 12 feet, and I think, \u201cThat\u2019s the same little foot that kicked me in the ribs.\u201d\u00a0 It brings you to tears because it\u2019s so precious! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt does\u2014it just changes your heart \/ changes your focus. To that degree, it makes it somewhat easier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut once you\u2019re in the thick of having a newborn at home, and you feel like you don\u2019t have an owner\u2019s manual, and you\u2019re not living in a town where you have friends and family nearby, you\u2019re like: \u201cWhat am I doing?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t go to school for this. I have a little boy. I come from all sisters. I don\u2019t know the first thing about it, and I\u2019m going to really mess this up!\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to mess this up. I want to do this right because I don\u2019t know how many chances we\u2019re going to have at this.\u201d\u00a0 As it\u2019s worked out, we had one\u2014we didn\u2019t know that, at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sandy, just speaking back to what you\u2019re talking about\u2014the emotions of that baby being placed in your arms, as a mother\u2014someone has said, \u201cA child is a mother\u2019s heart walking around outside her body.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes. And you still feel that way, even when they\u2019re grown, I\u2019m sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, no doubt\u2014no doubt about it. Then, it becomes grandchildren\u2014so, it really is a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u00a0Right. You\u2019ve got a lot of heart going around!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got a lot of heart going around. But there is the reality of moving from the corporate community, where the payoffs are instant and sometimes immediate, to now beginning to build into the life of a human being\u2014that is like a forest\u2014it takes a long time before you see the fruit of your hands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things you mention in your book\u2014you have 20 lessons you want to teach your own children. It\u2019s interesting\u2014the first one begins with yourself\u2014you said, \u201cLesson Number 1: Our Work Is <em>Not<\/em> Who We Are.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cOur Work Is <em>Not<\/em> Who We Are.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It may be I\u2019m writing that book for myself; you know?\u00a0 I\u2019m reaffirming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did you go through an identity crisis?\u00a0 Did that happen?\u00a0 Ken was talking about you being goal-oriented. There\u2019s a lot of parenting that doesn\u2019t fit into three objectives and wrapping things up at the end of the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No, and I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I write in my book about there was one of those moments, where we were applying for the house loan. They have it on the line\u2014what your occupation is. Well, I\u2019ve never not had an occupation to put down. I\u2019m just sitting there, kind of stammering like, \u201cAh, what do I put down?\u201d\u00a0 The lady leans over; and she goes: \u201cYou know, you stay at home\u2014just \u2018homemaker.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 She goes, \u201cThat will be fine. Just put \u2018homemaker.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomehow, it just seemed so dismissive; you know?\u00a0 I sat there; and I was like: \u201cWhoa, okay. That\u2019s who I am now. It may not be who I am 20 years from now, but it\u2019s who I am now.\u201d\u00a0 It was kind of a moment like: \u201cAlright, well, if that\u2019s who I am, then, I need to give it my all. I need to figure out what I\u2019m doing and how I\u2019m going to do it.\u201d That\u2019s when I went in search of\u2014because I\u2019m a big reader\u2014I went in search of materials out there that would help me navigate this new role\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014because like Ken said, whatever the goal is, I\u2019ve got to figure out quantifiable, measurable ways of getting to it or I feel like I\u2019m lost. I went to the library \/ I went to bookstores\u2014and perused them quite a bit\u2014and could not find anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re speaking now of books\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u00a0Books, yes, anything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014that speak to women who have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u2014that were having that decision to make\u2014that were walking away from that kind of a life and trying to reinvent themselves and redefine what their purpose in life was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Even though there are an increasing number of women who are doing this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Absolutely, but 15 years ago, I think that\u2014at least, my impression was that the culture was still not quite there yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, 15 years ago, the books I remember are the books that said: \u201cYou can do this!\u00a0 You can be in the boardroom every day, and be a great wife and a great mom, and raise your kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>Supermoms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m sure you had some thought, \u201cMaybe, that\u2019s what I\u2019m supposed to be doing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, you had said you were going to give this stay-at-home-mom thing a try for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Was there a period when your son was six months, or a year, or two years when you started thinking, \u201cMaybe, it\u2019s time to get back in the game\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Actually, no. I think it became\u2014like I said, I had these goals set up; and I had given myself two years. I\u2019m glad I gave myself two years because, if it had been less than that, I may have done that very thing. But I knew I needed some breathing room. I needed to step away from it in a long enough period of time, where it would give me a perspective; and it did. At the end of two years, I was already committed to what I was doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ken had a good job\u2014was doing well. You guys weren\u2019t financially-pinched.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But at the same time, you had to stop and think, \u201cYou know, if I was making some decent money here, we could accelerate our lifestyle a little bit.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did that factor in on some of this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>It\u2019s tempting\u2014I mean, it\u2019s very tempting. You see how much money you can make in certain arenas. Broadcast sales can be a very lucrative position. It was tempting because it was difficult for me to switch gears from providing for myself to having\u2014being\u2014what I felt was being provided for. Even though Ken, from the moment I met him, it was all about \u201cus,\u201d \u201cus,\u201d \u201cus,\u201d\u2014\u201cour money\u201d \/ \u201cour plans\u201d\u2014and \u201cWhat is mine is yours,\u201d\u2014it took me a while before I could really adopt that, truly in my head, because it just felt like I wasn\u2019t contributing. I thought, \u201cIf only I was making this kind of money, think of what I could do and we could do.\u201d\u00a0 It was just so wrong-minded. I don\u2019t know\u2014I was just so trapped in the way that I\u2019d always thought.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. There is also the sense that, if you\u2019re in the workplace, at the end of a month, you can look back and say, \u201cThis is what I did,\u201d and, \u201cHere\u2019s the scorecard,\u201d and, \u201cI succeeded this month.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes. That\u2019s where a lot of the frustration came, early on, as any parent can attest\u2014is when they\u2019re little\u2014and the toddler years, in particular, were a challenge for me because I\u2019m like, \u201cAm I making any difference here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThese are the diapers I changed. Look at here\u2014wow!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>Yes, it just didn\u2019t seem like you were\u2014the checks on my list were not very many. I had a lot that I wanted to accomplish, and it didn\u2019t feel like I was really doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Ken, as a husband and a provider of your family, what coaching tips would you have for another husband\/father as he\u2019s attempting to love his wife, and really care for her, and maximize who she is?\u00a0 What would you say to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ken: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s a couple of things. One thing is listening really well\u2014really listening and trying to understand where she\u2019s coming from on things. I think, also, it\u2019s easy to come home from work\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and you haven\u2019t been there all day\u2014you haven\u2019t been there all day. I think it\u2019s easy to come, right from work, and be in that mode. So, I think a tip is just being able to come home\u2014and in your trip home, if you can stop and think a little bit about: \u201cOkay, what\u2019s her day been like today?\u00a0 Where has she been?\u201d Try to guess what her day\u2014where she\u2019s coming from. So, when you walk in the door, you\u2019re trying to think: \u201cGet in her world as soon as you can. Try to understand what she did today,\u201d and \u201cWhat does she think are the high points and low points?\u201d and things like that. It\u2019s having a time, between work and home, to think about that so, when you come in the door, you\u2019re asking questions\u2014not telling her about you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, exactly. I think what most men really miss is\u2014they miss the power of words\u2014that they can esteem their wife and the mother of their children for the value of investing in the next generation and investing in our family and children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, on more than one occasion, I\u2019d come home, and I\u2019d find Barbara\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it was the equivalent of her being tied up in a corner by the kids. They had mugged her, emotionally, and had gotten the upper hand. She just needed someone to say: \u201cYou know what, Sweetheart?\u00a0 You\u2019re doing <em>the <\/em>most important job in the world. You are investing in our children. Thank you for keeping our home a place of peace,\u201d\u2014even though, at points, it may not seem like it, with a family\u2014but \u201cThank you for investing in the next generation.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think a man needs to realize, with his wife, he has to esteem her because the world is not going to applaud her rescuing a two-year-old from throwing a fit on the floor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No, but of course, our focus ought to be, not on what the world will give us accolades for, but on: \u201cWhat will honor and please God?\u00a0 What is it He\u2019s called us to?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s where you\u2019ve got to wrestle with the decision: \u201cWhat are you going to do, as a mom and as a family?\u00a0 How are you going to make this work once you have kids?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFolks may come to a conclusion that is different than the one Sandy came to. There may be circumstances in your life that are very different; but it does help, I think, to have the wisdom and counsel of others who have wrestled with this decision to try to decide what is right for you to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Sandy has written a book that\u2019s called <em>What if Parenting Is the Most Important Job in the World?<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It\u2019s a book that walks through how she processed the choice in her life. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ll find Sandy\u2019s book there; and you can order it from us, online, if you\u2019d like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Look for the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d to order a copy of Sandy Calwell\u2019s book, <em>What if Parenting Is the Most Important Job in the World?<\/em>\u00a0 You can also call to order. Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I was just recently with a friend of mine. His daughter and new son-in-law had just come back from one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways. He was smiling\u2014he said: \u201cAfter the event, the couple came over to Mom and Dad\u2019s house. They sat down, and they were talking and debriefing.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cMy daughter could not quit talking about the getaway\u2014what she\u2019d learned and the things she\u2019d realized.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was smiling and laughing as he was telling the story; but then, he looked at me and said: \u201cI\u2019m just so grateful for FamilyLife. I\u2019m grateful for all that you guys do. I\u2019m grateful that there is a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> to send my daughter and son-in-law to\u2014to help them get pointed in the right direction as they start their marriage together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this friend, by the way, is somebody who I know is also a financial supporter of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe is somebody who has said, \u201cI am grateful for what you do, and I want to express that gratitude in a tangible way.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, that\u2019s encouraging to us because, as a listener-supported ministry, we couldn\u2019t do all that we\u2019re doing without folks, like you, who pitch in, from time to time, so that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> can continue. We\u2019re grateful to have you as part of the team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you\u2019d like to make a donation to help support this ministry today, you can do that by going to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d\u2014 make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Make your donation over the phone. Or you can mail a donation to us, if you\u2019d like, at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. And we\u2019re always encouraged when we hear from listeners. So, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for getting in touch with us and for whatever you\u2019re able to do in support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to go in a little different direction in our conversation with Ken and Sandy Calwell. We want to hear about an event that took place in Ken\u2019s life\u2014I think this was before the two of you even met\u2014but this was a life-altering \/ actually, a life-threatening event\u2014and we\u2019ll hear about it tomorrow. Hope you can join us back for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303567","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303567"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303567"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303567"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303567"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}