{"id":303537,"date":"2015-06-18T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-06-18T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/cohabitation-good-or-bad\/"},"modified":"2015-06-18T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-06-18T15:00:00","slug":"cohabitation-good-or-bad","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cohabitation-good-or-bad\/","title":{"rendered":"Cohabitation: Good or Bad?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Cohabitation has become a prerequisite for nearly 50% of marriages today. Is this trial and error living arrangement good or bad for marriage? Glenn Stanton, a leading spokesperson on marriage and family issues, talks about the growing trend of cohabitation and the downside to cohabitating that no one will tell you about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Glenn Stanton, a leading spokesperson on marriage and family issues, talks about the growing trend of cohabitation and the downside to cohabitating that no one will tell you about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.03M","filesize_raw":"25200096","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817,2848],"tags":[5696,5698,5201,5695,5697,4086,5700,5701,5699],"podcast_series":[7865],"cwp_profile":[3162],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303537","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","category-cultural-issues","tag-cohabit","tag-cohabitate","tag-cohabitation","tag-cohabitation-agreement","tag-cohabitation-before-marriage","tag-commitment","tag-divorce-statistics","tag-getting-engaged","tag-living-together-before-marriage","podcast_series-the-ring-makes-all-the-difference","cwp_profile-glenn-stanton","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303537\/cohabitation-good-or-bad","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303537\/cohabitation-good-or-bad","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Jx7W09Fc2w\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cohabitation-good-or-bad\/\">Cohabitation: Good or Bad?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cohabitation-good-or-bad\/embed\/#?secret=Jx7W09Fc2w\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Cohabitation: Good or Bad?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Jx7W09Fc2w\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you move in together \/ live together outside of marriage, Glenn Stanton says you start to learn some patterns that will not serve you well in the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> The cohabitating relationship is, qualitatively, a different kind of relationship than a marriage relationship. What it is\u2014is a couple coming together and negotiating under the terms of lack of total commitment. You\u2019re learning to build your relationship with that holding back, if you will\u2014you know, you\u2019ve still got cards behind your back, basically. The sociologists are telling us that cohabiting couples <em>learn<\/em>\u2014they learn the behavior of negotiating in less healthy ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If you want to be happily married someday, forever and ever, moving in together is a <em>bad <\/em>idea. We\u2019ll explain why today. Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I got all excited when I saw what we were going to be talking about today. I saw the title of the book and I thought, \u201cCool!\u2014going to get to talk about <em>The Lord of the Rings<\/em>\u2014I have always wanted to do! <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m thinking: \u201cThis is about Frodo. Cool!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad you used that as an illustration and didn\u2019t say, \u201cI thought we were going to talk about the circus.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The circus?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Oh, the ring\u2014yes! There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we do have the author of the book, <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>. Glenn Stanton joins us again on <em>FamilyLifeToday. <\/em>Glenn, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s good to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Glenn works with <em>Focus on the Family<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in Colorado Springs, where he and his wife and their five children live. He\u2019s a researcher\/debater, and he\u2019s a passionate follower of Christ who is a champion for commitment in marriages that go the distance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t think Tolkien was trying to make a statement\u2014\u201cthrow the ring in Mordor\u201d\u2014he wasn\u2019t trying to get rid of marriage with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> No, not at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just making sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> I do think he was trying to piggyback on the fame of <em>this book<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s where you\u2019re going! I was watching that; and I was going, \u201cWhere is he going to take that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> The fact that it was 40 years earlier is of no consequence to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was a premonition on his part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are talking about the prevalence of cohabitation in our culture. I want you to just quickly give a few statistics of how prevalent it is. Then, I want you to talk about the Christian community\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014how are we doing in terms of cohabiting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have a great story I want to tell you of a church that addressed the issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, back to the big picture: \u201cHow prevalent is cohabitation today?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Well, it has grown anywhere from 15- to 17-fold since 1960. Twenty-five percent of women today are living with somebody. An additional 25 percent have lived with somebody in the recent past. Nearly 60 percent\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Hold it! You said <em>50 percent<\/em> of women are either in a cohabiting relationship today\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> \u2014or have been in the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have to tell you\u2014I think I live in a bubble! There are some of our listeners going to go: \u201cOh my goodness. [Sounding like an old woman] He\u2019s down there in the hills of Arkansas. Bless his heart, back there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> But that does go to your other question\u2014is that, I mean\u2014the other point is that 60 percent of marriages today are preceded by some form of cohabitation\u2014that is, the great majority of couples marrying today have lived together before\u2014but sociologists will tell you that people with a serious religious conviction are significantly less likely to cohabit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got far too many young people cohabiting in the church today, but it is <em>not <\/em>similar that the cohabitation rate is as similar in the church as it is in the world. Just like\u2014and I wish that all pastors would know this\u2014the divorce rate is <em>not <\/em>as similar in the church as it is in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So that statistic\u2014that\u2019s kind of been batted around that says\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Absolutely; completely false.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cBut the statistic says that more people who are Christians have been divorced than people who are non-Christians.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s just not true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, what\u2019s true?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> What\u2019s true, first of all, is\u2014for people who really do take their faith seriously, there is a significant drop in risk of divorce. What they mean by that is\u2014and it\u2019s not just Christians \/ but people who go to church or religious services, not every Sunday, but more Sundays out of the month than not, read religious texts together \/ the Bible, pray together\u2014their risk of divorce is dramatically lower than people in the general population. We need to know that faith really does make a difference in our lives and in relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Casual church-going or casual church membership doesn\u2019t make the difference?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> See, that\u2019s the point. Okay: \u201cHave your name on a church roll? Guess what?\u00a0 It makes no difference whatsoever.\u201d I mean, that\u2019s not shocking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to go back to my illustration about how prevalent this is in the Christian community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is by no way any kind of a measurement of the overall problem; but I\u2019m in a mentoring relationship with a man in Dallas, who heads up a church of over 3,500 people. He was doing a series on being single. He decided, at the end of the series, he would make the offer to the singles, who were cohabiting\u2014he said: \u201cI would like to invite you out of your cohabiting relationship into marriage. What the church is willing to do\u2014I\u2019ve cleared it with the elder board of the church\u2014we\u2019re willing to pay for the wedding, with three weeks of marriage preparation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ll provide the rings, the tux, and the wedding gown. We\u2019ll provide the flowers around the wedding, but I want you to meet me here this afternoon.\u201d\u00a0 I think it was 4:00 or something in the afternoon\u2014ultimately, 20 couples came forward. He said, \u201cHere was the interesting thing.\u201d He said, \u201cThey were all ages.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You would think they would be under 35\/40\u2014somewhere in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That would be my guess, in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He said: \u201cNo; no. We had young ones living together\u2014all the way into their 60s.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I loved his approach, Glenn, because he didn\u2019t point a bony finger at the audience and say, \u201cYou wretched, dirty sinners out there,\u201d which we all are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We all have our issues; okay? But he uplifted marriage for singles; and he said, \u201cThe church believes in marriage so much, we\u2019re going to put our money where our mouth is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Glenn, I was at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>marriage getaways. We do some breakouts for singles during the getaway to talk about getting ready for marriage, and \u201cHow do you know if this is the right one?\u201d and \u201cHow can you work this out?\u201d\u00a0 My friend was doing the speaking, and I was in the back of the room. He was making the case that: \u201cIt\u2019s not a good idea to live together \/ to have sex together. You should keep the relationship pure.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis guy raised his hand and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got a question.\u201d He said: \u201cWe have a 2-year-old. We\u2019re planning on getting married in December,\u201d\u2014this was in May\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re planning on getting married in December; but we\u2019re living together, and we\u2019ve got a 2-year-old. Are you suggesting that I should move out until December?\u201d Before I tell you how <em>he<\/em> answered the question, what would you have said?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes. That\u2019s an interesting thing; and that\u2019s the other point\u2014is we see cohabitation, not just for the transitional college-age students. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> You know, people are having kids in these relationships\u2014they\u2019re like the couple down the street. I would say, in this sense, that: \u201cYes, you\u2019ve got a child together; but there would be something really wonderful to separate for a while \/ be separated, with the plan of coming together. Your coming together in marriage is going to be more precious \/ more valuable. You, sir, are making a comment about the woman in your life to say, \u2018I want to do what\u2019s right by you.\u2019 She\u2019s going to appreciate that. That\u2019s going to do <em>so <\/em>much for her heart\u2014to be the dignified guy \/ the valiant guy, to say, \u2018Okay, I want to start over now.\u2019\u00a0 Yes, okay; the water has been muddied up a bit, but you know what? You <em>can<\/em> start over\u2014not completely over\u2014but you can make that movement to say, \u2018I want to do it right from here on out.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great answer. My friend said, \u201cYes, you ought to move out; but I\u2019d hurry up the wedding date.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhy wait until December?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, that\u2019s the only time the family can get together.\u201d He said, \u201cYou go ahead and get married, and then get the family together in December and have some kind of a party.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes: \u201cMove out\u2014have there be a time of separation\u2014and then get back together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly. The little space-time is very good\u2014let the dust settle a little bit there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The only thing I would add to what our speaker counseled this couple would be to say: \u201cYou know what? Move out. Get someone to mentor you immediately into preparing to turn this relationship into a marriage. Go through our marriage preparation material. Establish a mentoring relationship now, move the wedding date up, and then have that same mentoring couple walk them through the first 12, 18, 24 months of their marriage because just saying, \u2018I do,\u2019 and getting committed to one another is not going to solve all the issues you\u2019ve created, just because you\u2019ve made a commitment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Talk about that because I\u2019m sitting here thinking, \u201cIf I\u2019m a guy, and we had been living together, and it\u2019s been going okay\u2014we get along \/ we\u2019re doing alright. Yes, we\u2019re going to get married; and we\u2019re looking forward to that,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the big whoop?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cOkay\u2014yes, we\u2019re going to get legal, and we\u2019re going to get a piece of paper; but it\u2019s basically going to be the same thing it\u2019s been\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> <em>No<\/em>, absolutely not. That\u2019s the point, Dennis, that the sociologists are finding out\u2014that a cohabiting relationship is, qualitatively, a different kind of relationship than a marriage relationship. What it is\u2014is a couple coming together and negotiating, under the terms of, \u201cHe\u2019s still holding stuff under the table,\u201d and \u201cShe\u2019s still holding stuff under the table.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s lack of total commitment. You\u2019re learning to build your relationship with that holding back, if you will. You\u2019ve still got cards behind your back, basically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe sociologists are telling us that cohabiting couples <em>learn<\/em>\u2014they learn the behavior of negotiating in less healthy ways \/ more destructive ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the thing\u2014it\u2019s not just, \u201cOkay, let\u2019s put rings into the situation,\u201d but \u201cWe\u2019ve got to relearn how we\u2019re negotiating with each other \/ how we\u2019re dealing with one another.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s very, very wise information.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 24 says: \u201cTherefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.\u201d There\u2019s the process the Bible places.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You leave father and mother, you cleave\u2014you make a commitment \/ you become one\u2014and then you get involved in the process of nakedness, which is transparency\/intimacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> \u2014vulnerability.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not achieved on the wedding night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a process of getting to know another person and creating the safety. This is what drives me crazy for cohabiting couples\u2014I wonder how two people work out a relationship, where there aren\u2019t walls built around that relationship that are based on a promise?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even the shakiness of the promise \/ of the covenant that, \u201cI take you for the rest of my life,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s shaky enough, just to make good on that\u2014but to work out the relationship without a promise?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is like, \u201cHow does that work?\u201d You\u2019ve just said, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It <em>doesn\u2019t <\/em>work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It gets real dysfunctional and lots of bad habits that carry over into the marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It is interesting, Dennis and Bob. That verse\u2014it\u2019s funny\u2014when I sign books\u2014that\u2019s the verse that I write in there because that\u2019s what this book is about. The husband shall leave his mother and father. What that means is\u2014literally, leave mother and father\u2014but it means leave all other relationships that are important to you and focus on this <em>one<\/em>, which is your wife, and cleave to her. The King James says, \u201ccleave\u201d; others, \u201ccling to \/ hold fast to.\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s the only game in town now,\u201d\u2014that is what marriage is about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis book is the social science explanation of what God is saying in that truth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery one of these sociologists and psychiatrists are saying: \u201cYou know what? Yes\u2014leaving and cleaving\u2014saying, \u2018No,\u2019 to everybody else and clinging to that one person benefits you, it benefits your children, it benefits society, and it benefits the relationship.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You titled your book <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference;<\/em> and obviously, it\u2019s not the ring that makes the difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right. The ring is a symbol.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Is it essentially the commitment to one another \/ that unconditional commitment; or is there more to it than just, \u201cI\u2019m fully committed to you\u2014legally bound in my commitment to you\u201d; or is there something more than that that makes a difference?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It really is largely that commitment and the clarity that comes with the commitment. This is an interesting point that\u2019s more a part of the research itself. The scholars are finding out that\u2014and this isn\u2019t Christian orthodoxy per se\u2014but when couples move in together after the engagement, they do not tend to show the kind of negative consequences that pre-engagement couples do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is not because post-engagement co-habitation is just fine, but what it means is\u2014I like to say this: \u201cWhen mother-in-law has ordered her wedding dress, when the cake\u2019s being ordered, when the wedding hall has been rented, that guy is on the hook. Everybody knows what the nature of the relationship is.\u201d It\u2019s not right, morally; but it\u2019s a different kind of relationship than the regular cohabiting relationship. That is because, in a sense, the promise has been made\u2014it hasn\u2019t been consummated or culminated yet\u2014but it has been made there. The social scientists are telling us that: \u201cYes, that <em>promise<\/em> really does make the difference.\u201d That is what the ring is a symbol of\u2014this unending promise\u2014that: \u201cFor good and for bad, I am going to commit myself to you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the words of that promise that we say, in the traditional Christian wedding, \u201c...for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health, forsaking all others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we kind of go through this laundry list that most people think is just lovely poetry. No, we\u2019re really signing away a lot when we say that stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting\u2014Erich Fromm, this secular thinker, wrote this wonderful thing\u2014where he said, \u201cThe wedding vows are predicated on the expectation that things are not going to go well.\u201d It\u2019s not about, \u201cI\u2019m going to love you as long as I feel love for you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes! [Laughing]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s, \u201cI\u2019m going to love you, even when things turn south.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the thing about marriage, and that\u2019s why it\u2019s a public institution. My father-in-law heard me make the promise. So, when I later on say: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m out of here.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo, wait! You made the promise.\u201d Our friends hear the promise. It\u2019s this public declaration of: \u201cOkay; we are separating ourselves now from everybody else, and we\u2019re making ourselves into new kind of individuals, where we come together as one flesh. We are a new kind of entity, as a married couple.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The way you establish that new entity is by signing a pre-nuptial agreement. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly! That\u2019s the same sort of thing of like, \u201cOkay, I want to make sure that things work out in <em>my<\/em> best interest,\u201d which <em>poisons<\/em> the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s the pre-nup the culture wants you to sign. I\u2019m talking about the only pre-nup to sign, which is a marriage covenant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What is a pre-nup but the terms of agreement for, \u201cHow we\u2019re going to terminate this relationship\u201d? The nature of the Christian marriage covenant\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> You know what? That\u2019s an excellent point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u2014is a promise to another person, \u201cI, Dennis, take you, Barbara. Here are the terms under which we will terminate this relationship\u2014one or both of us will die.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019re sticking to this relationship.\u201d Single people, who are getting ready to get married, and who are about to sign any other kind of pre-nup\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014forget it! Toss the other pre-nups and come to the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway. At the end of the getaway, you know what you\u2019ll receive? You will receive a hard copy of the marriage covenant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to tell you\u2014I\u2019ve been all over the country, in a lot of people\u2019s homes, because we\u2019ve trained over two million people at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. A bunch of them have these covenants hanging up in their home. I\u2019ve had some couples tell me\u2014when they\u2019ve had arguments, they\u2019ve both stopped and pointed up at the covenant to say: \u201cI\u2019m in. I\u2019m in. We may disagree. We may not be able to get this worked out right now, at this moment, but you know what? I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To the single people that we\u2019re talking to here today\u2014this ought to scare you to <em>death<\/em>\u2014all this stuff about cohabitation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, if you can\u2019t trust anyone <em>before<\/em> you get married, how are you going to trust them just because they say, \u201cI do\u201d? It needs to be built upon a discipline of two people, who build trust into one another\u2019s lives, and then they make the most sacred pledge and promise two people ever make in a lifetime. They make it before Almighty God and they say, \u201cBefore God, I take you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> I\u2019m not a big, big fan of arranged marriages; but there is a very important thing to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You will be by the time you get those five\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When those girls get older; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You will change your tune because I didn\u2019t start out that way; but I thought, \u201cIf I could arrange this, this would be a whole lot better than this whole dating thing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Go ahead though, Glenn\u2014make your point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your girls did just fine on their own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They did just fine; but I\u2019m talking about, in the midst of the dating deal, as it was occurring in the teenage years. It was like: \u201cOh, my goodness! This is not a good system right now.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes, you\u2019re right; but it is this idea that we tend to leave the most important decision that people make in their life, after their decision for Christ\u2014their marriage relationship is: \u201cYou know what, kids? It\u2019s all up to you. You just decide what you think is best for you,\u201d\u2014whereas, for all other cultures\u2014they consult the parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not the parents\u2019 decision, but it\u2019s not that the parents don\u2019t have any say in it. The parents, the extended family, the spiritual family around you\u2014ask people: \u201cDo you think this guy\u2019s right for me?\u201d \u201cDo you think this gal is right for me?\u201d Get the wisdom \/ get the insight\u2014these people care for you \/ they love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say: \u201cConsult the people around you\u2014who have a little more wisdom, a little more experience with life, a little more experience with relationships\u2014get <em>their<\/em> feedback on: \u2018What do you think we need to work on? What do we need to be aware of? What do we need to be mindful of?\u2019 rather than just saying, \u2018Okay, it\u2019s just about you kids, who have no experience in life whatsoever.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to make it more of a community sort of thing, which is exactly what marriage is. It\u2019s exactly why we invite the community to our weddings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think we need more people, who understand the implications of cohabitation, because, again, the culture is saying, \u201cLook, this is a great thing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFolks just need to understand: \u201cNo, if you look at it carefully, this is like a Fifth Avenue watch\u2014not one they sell in a store\u2014but the kind a guy has got under his coat\u2014it looks good \/ looks really good, but buy it and see how long it lasts!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cIt says it\u2019s Rolex<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> \u201cAnd they couldn\u2019t say it if it wasn\u2019t true.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right! I would say, coupled with that: \u201cThey need to understand the negative consequences of cohabiting; but they also need to understand the benefits of marriage, as God designed it in the Scripture. It is <em>not<\/em> the perfect institution because it\u2019s made of two imperfect people.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cBut that\u2019s why the Bible was written\u2014to help two imperfect people know how to live out, in relationship with their God, and with one another, and with their offspring for a lifetime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If folks want more information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, we still have a couple of them going on this summer. Then, in the fall, we\u2019ll kick off a full season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tClick the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll see information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, along with information about the video event that we\u2019ve put together called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. If there\u2019s not a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> happening in a location near where you live, you can host your very own <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>Friday night\/Saturday video conference. Invite friends and have a great focus on marriage in your church, in your neighborhood, in your community. Do it wherever it makes sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> \/ there\u2019s information about <em>The<\/em> Art of Marriage. And there\u2019s information about Glenn Stanton\u2019s book, which is called <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>. You can order a copy of that book from us, online. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You\u2019ll get information about all of these things when you click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Or, if you\u2019d prefer to order a copy of Glenn\u2019s book by phone, the toll-free number is 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of the verses in the Bible that has always stuck with me\u2014and I remember learning this Bible verse, back when I was in my twenties\u2014Romans, Chapter 12, verses 1 and 2, where it says that we are to present our bodies as a \u201cliving sacrifice.\u201d It\u2019s our \u201cspiritual service of worship to God.\u201d But then, in verse two, it goes on to say we are \u201cnot to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife, our commitment is to hold up God\u2019s Word \/ God\u2019s truth about marriage and family. Wherever the culture is going, just to say, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s what the culture is telling you; but here\u2019s what the Bible has been telling us for thousands of years.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to thank those of you who partner with us in making this possible, either as\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLegacy Partners \/ donating to the ministry each month or as folks who occasionally make a donation in support of this ministry. Maybe God has used <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>in some significant way in your marriage and your family, and you\u2019d like to make a donation today\u2014you can do that. Go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail a donation to us at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today of, at least, $50, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a book from Dennis Rainey for men called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood, <\/em>and a book for women from Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian called <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design. <\/em>Both books are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d when you support the ministry today with a donation of, at least, $50.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the whole issue of how cohabiting couples handle money. I mean: \u201cWhat do you do if you move in together? Do you keep \u2018my money\u2019 \/ \u2018your money\u2019? How do you handle the groceries?\u201d We\u2019ll find out what most couples are doing and how that can be a challenge when we talk tomorrow to Glenn Stanton. I hope you can be here with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.03M"],"filesize_raw":["25200096"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303537.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303537.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Stanton, a leading spokesperson on marriage and family issues, talks about the growing trend of cohabitation and the downside to cohabitating that no one will tell you about.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you move in together \/ live together outside of marriage, Glenn Stanton says you start to learn some patterns that will not serve you well in the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> The cohabitating relationship is, qualitatively, a different kind of relationship than a marriage relationship. What it is\u2014is a couple coming together and negotiating under the terms of lack of total commitment. You\u2019re learning to build your relationship with that holding back, if you will\u2014you know, you\u2019ve still got cards behind your back, basically. The sociologists are telling us that cohabiting couples <em>learn<\/em>\u2014they learn the behavior of negotiating in less healthy ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. If you want to be happily married someday, forever and ever, moving in together is a <em>bad <\/em>idea. We\u2019ll explain why today. Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I got all excited when I saw what we were going to be talking about today. I saw the title of the book and I thought, \u201cCool!\u2014going to get to talk about <em>The Lord of the Rings<\/em>\u2014I have always wanted to do! <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m thinking: \u201cThis is about Frodo. Cool!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad you used that as an illustration and didn\u2019t say, \u201cI thought we were going to talk about the circus.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The circus?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Oh, the ring\u2014yes! There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, we do have the author of the book, <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>. Glenn Stanton joins us again on <em>FamilyLifeToday. <\/em>Glenn, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s good to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Glenn works with <em>Focus on the Family<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> in Colorado Springs, where he and his wife and their five children live. He\u2019s a researcher\/debater, and he\u2019s a passionate follower of Christ who is a champion for commitment in marriages that go the distance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t think Tolkien was trying to make a statement\u2014\u201cthrow the ring in Mordor\u201d\u2014he wasn\u2019t trying to get rid of marriage with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> No, not at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just making sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> I do think he was trying to piggyback on the fame of <em>this book<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s where you\u2019re going! I was watching that; and I was going, \u201cWhere is he going to take that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> The fact that it was 40 years earlier is of no consequence to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was a premonition on his part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are talking about the prevalence of cohabitation in our culture. I want you to just quickly give a few statistics of how prevalent it is. Then, I want you to talk about the Christian community\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014how are we doing in terms of cohabiting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have a great story I want to tell you of a church that addressed the issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, back to the big picture: \u201cHow prevalent is cohabitation today?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Well, it has grown anywhere from 15- to 17-fold since 1960. Twenty-five percent of women today are living with somebody. An additional 25 percent have lived with somebody in the recent past. Nearly 60 percent\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Hold it! You said <em>50 percent<\/em> of women are either in a cohabiting relationship today\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> \u2014or have been in the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I have to tell you\u2014I think I live in a bubble! There are some of our listeners going to go: \u201cOh my goodness. [Sounding like an old woman] He\u2019s down there in the hills of Arkansas. Bless his heart, back there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> But that does go to your other question\u2014is that, I mean\u2014the other point is that 60 percent of marriages today are preceded by some form of cohabitation\u2014that is, the great majority of couples marrying today have lived together before\u2014but sociologists will tell you that people with a serious religious conviction are significantly less likely to cohabit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got far too many young people cohabiting in the church today, but it is <em>not <\/em>similar that the cohabitation rate is as similar in the church as it is in the world. Just like\u2014and I wish that all pastors would know this\u2014the divorce rate is <em>not <\/em>as similar in the church as it is in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So that statistic\u2014that\u2019s kind of been batted around that says\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Absolutely; completely false.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cBut the statistic says that more people who are Christians have been divorced than people who are non-Christians.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s just not true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, what\u2019s true?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> What\u2019s true, first of all, is\u2014for people who really do take their faith seriously, there is a significant drop in risk of divorce. What they mean by that is\u2014and it\u2019s not just Christians \/ but people who go to church or religious services, not every Sunday, but more Sundays out of the month than not, read religious texts together \/ the Bible, pray together\u2014their risk of divorce is dramatically lower than people in the general population. We need to know that faith really does make a difference in our lives and in relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Casual church-going or casual church membership doesn\u2019t make the difference?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> See, that\u2019s the point. Okay: \u201cHave your name on a church roll? Guess what?\u00a0 It makes no difference whatsoever.\u201d I mean, that\u2019s not shocking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I want to go back to my illustration about how prevalent this is in the Christian community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is by no way any kind of a measurement of the overall problem; but I\u2019m in a mentoring relationship with a man in Dallas, who heads up a church of over 3,500 people. He was doing a series on being single. He decided, at the end of the series, he would make the offer to the singles, who were cohabiting\u2014he said: \u201cI would like to invite you out of your cohabiting relationship into marriage. What the church is willing to do\u2014I\u2019ve cleared it with the elder board of the church\u2014we\u2019re willing to pay for the wedding, with three weeks of marriage preparation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ll provide the rings, the tux, and the wedding gown. We\u2019ll provide the flowers around the wedding, but I want you to meet me here this afternoon.\u201d\u00a0 I think it was 4:00 or something in the afternoon\u2014ultimately, 20 couples came forward. He said, \u201cHere was the interesting thing.\u201d He said, \u201cThey were all ages.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You would think they would be under 35\/40\u2014somewhere in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That would be my guess, in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He said: \u201cNo; no. We had young ones living together\u2014all the way into their 60s.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I loved his approach, Glenn, because he didn\u2019t point a bony finger at the audience and say, \u201cYou wretched, dirty sinners out there,\u201d which we all are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We all have our issues; okay? But he uplifted marriage for singles; and he said, \u201cThe church believes in marriage so much, we\u2019re going to put our money where our mouth is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Glenn, I was at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>marriage getaways. We do some breakouts for singles during the getaway to talk about getting ready for marriage, and \u201cHow do you know if this is the right one?\u201d and \u201cHow can you work this out?\u201d\u00a0 My friend was doing the speaking, and I was in the back of the room. He was making the case that: \u201cIt\u2019s not a good idea to live together \/ to have sex together. You should keep the relationship pure.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis guy raised his hand and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got a question.\u201d He said: \u201cWe have a 2-year-old. We\u2019re planning on getting married in December,\u201d\u2014this was in May\u2014\u201cWe\u2019re planning on getting married in December; but we\u2019re living together, and we\u2019ve got a 2-year-old. Are you suggesting that I should move out until December?\u201d Before I tell you how <em>he<\/em> answered the question, what would you have said?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes. That\u2019s an interesting thing; and that\u2019s the other point\u2014is we see cohabitation, not just for the transitional college-age students. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> You know, people are having kids in these relationships\u2014they\u2019re like the couple down the street. I would say, in this sense, that: \u201cYes, you\u2019ve got a child together; but there would be something really wonderful to separate for a while \/ be separated, with the plan of coming together. Your coming together in marriage is going to be more precious \/ more valuable. You, sir, are making a comment about the woman in your life to say, \u2018I want to do what\u2019s right by you.\u2019 She\u2019s going to appreciate that. That\u2019s going to do <em>so <\/em>much for her heart\u2014to be the dignified guy \/ the valiant guy, to say, \u2018Okay, I want to start over now.\u2019\u00a0 Yes, okay; the water has been muddied up a bit, but you know what? You <em>can<\/em> start over\u2014not completely over\u2014but you can make that movement to say, \u2018I want to do it right from here on out.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great answer. My friend said, \u201cYes, you ought to move out; but I\u2019d hurry up the wedding date.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhy wait until December?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, that\u2019s the only time the family can get together.\u201d He said, \u201cYou go ahead and get married, and then get the family together in December and have some kind of a party.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes: \u201cMove out\u2014have there be a time of separation\u2014and then get back together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly. The little space-time is very good\u2014let the dust settle a little bit there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The only thing I would add to what our speaker counseled this couple would be to say: \u201cYou know what? Move out. Get someone to mentor you immediately into preparing to turn this relationship into a marriage. Go through our marriage preparation material. Establish a mentoring relationship now, move the wedding date up, and then have that same mentoring couple walk them through the first 12, 18, 24 months of their marriage because just saying, \u2018I do,\u2019 and getting committed to one another is not going to solve all the issues you\u2019ve created, just because you\u2019ve made a commitment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Talk about that because I\u2019m sitting here thinking, \u201cIf I\u2019m a guy, and we had been living together, and it\u2019s been going okay\u2014we get along \/ we\u2019re doing alright. Yes, we\u2019re going to get married; and we\u2019re looking forward to that,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the big whoop?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cOkay\u2014yes, we\u2019re going to get legal, and we\u2019re going to get a piece of paper; but it\u2019s basically going to be the same thing it\u2019s been\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> <em>No<\/em>, absolutely not. That\u2019s the point, Dennis, that the sociologists are finding out\u2014that a cohabiting relationship is, qualitatively, a different kind of relationship than a marriage relationship. What it is\u2014is a couple coming together and negotiating, under the terms of, \u201cHe\u2019s still holding stuff under the table,\u201d and \u201cShe\u2019s still holding stuff under the table.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s lack of total commitment. You\u2019re learning to build your relationship with that holding back, if you will. You\u2019ve still got cards behind your back, basically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe sociologists are telling us that cohabiting couples <em>learn<\/em>\u2014they learn the behavior of negotiating in less healthy ways \/ more destructive ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the thing\u2014it\u2019s not just, \u201cOkay, let\u2019s put rings into the situation,\u201d but \u201cWe\u2019ve got to relearn how we\u2019re negotiating with each other \/ how we\u2019re dealing with one another.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s very, very wise information.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 24 says: \u201cTherefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.\u201d There\u2019s the process the Bible places.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You leave father and mother, you cleave\u2014you make a commitment \/ you become one\u2014and then you get involved in the process of nakedness, which is transparency\/intimacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> \u2014vulnerability.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s not achieved on the wedding night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s a process of getting to know another person and creating the safety. This is what drives me crazy for cohabiting couples\u2014I wonder how two people work out a relationship, where there aren\u2019t walls built around that relationship that are based on a promise?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Even the shakiness of the promise \/ of the covenant that, \u201cI take you for the rest of my life,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s shaky enough, just to make good on that\u2014but to work out the relationship without a promise?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is like, \u201cHow does that work?\u201d You\u2019ve just said, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It <em>doesn\u2019t <\/em>work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It gets real dysfunctional and lots of bad habits that carry over into the marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It is interesting, Dennis and Bob. That verse\u2014it\u2019s funny\u2014when I sign books\u2014that\u2019s the verse that I write in there because that\u2019s what this book is about. The husband shall leave his mother and father. What that means is\u2014literally, leave mother and father\u2014but it means leave all other relationships that are important to you and focus on this <em>one<\/em>, which is your wife, and cleave to her. The King James says, \u201ccleave\u201d; others, \u201ccling to \/ hold fast to.\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s the only game in town now,\u201d\u2014that is what marriage is about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis book is the social science explanation of what God is saying in that truth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery one of these sociologists and psychiatrists are saying: \u201cYou know what? Yes\u2014leaving and cleaving\u2014saying, \u2018No,\u2019 to everybody else and clinging to that one person benefits you, it benefits your children, it benefits society, and it benefits the relationship.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You titled your book <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference;<\/em> and obviously, it\u2019s not the ring that makes the difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right. The ring is a symbol.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Is it essentially the commitment to one another \/ that unconditional commitment; or is there more to it than just, \u201cI\u2019m fully committed to you\u2014legally bound in my commitment to you\u201d; or is there something more than that that makes a difference?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It really is largely that commitment and the clarity that comes with the commitment. This is an interesting point that\u2019s more a part of the research itself. The scholars are finding out that\u2014and this isn\u2019t Christian orthodoxy per se\u2014but when couples move in together after the engagement, they do not tend to show the kind of negative consequences that pre-engagement couples do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is not because post-engagement co-habitation is just fine, but what it means is\u2014I like to say this: \u201cWhen mother-in-law has ordered her wedding dress, when the cake\u2019s being ordered, when the wedding hall has been rented, that guy is on the hook. Everybody knows what the nature of the relationship is.\u201d It\u2019s not right, morally; but it\u2019s a different kind of relationship than the regular cohabiting relationship. That is because, in a sense, the promise has been made\u2014it hasn\u2019t been consummated or culminated yet\u2014but it has been made there. The social scientists are telling us that: \u201cYes, that <em>promise<\/em> really does make the difference.\u201d That is what the ring is a symbol of\u2014this unending promise\u2014that: \u201cFor good and for bad, I am going to commit myself to you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And the words of that promise that we say, in the traditional Christian wedding, \u201c...for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health, forsaking all others.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we kind of go through this laundry list that most people think is just lovely poetry. No, we\u2019re really signing away a lot when we say that stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting\u2014Erich Fromm, this secular thinker, wrote this wonderful thing\u2014where he said, \u201cThe wedding vows are predicated on the expectation that things are not going to go well.\u201d It\u2019s not about, \u201cI\u2019m going to love you as long as I feel love for you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes! [Laughing]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s, \u201cI\u2019m going to love you, even when things turn south.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the thing about marriage, and that\u2019s why it\u2019s a public institution. My father-in-law heard me make the promise. So, when I later on say: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m out of here.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo, wait! You made the promise.\u201d Our friends hear the promise. It\u2019s this public declaration of: \u201cOkay; we are separating ourselves now from everybody else, and we\u2019re making ourselves into new kind of individuals, where we come together as one flesh. We are a new kind of entity, as a married couple.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The way you establish that new entity is by signing a pre-nuptial agreement. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly! That\u2019s the same sort of thing of like, \u201cOkay, I want to make sure that things work out in <em>my<\/em> best interest,\u201d which <em>poisons<\/em> the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s the pre-nup the culture wants you to sign. I\u2019m talking about the only pre-nup to sign, which is a marriage covenant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What is a pre-nup but the terms of agreement for, \u201cHow we\u2019re going to terminate this relationship\u201d? The nature of the Christian marriage covenant\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> You know what? That\u2019s an excellent point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u2014is a promise to another person, \u201cI, Dennis, take you, Barbara. Here are the terms under which we will terminate this relationship\u2014one or both of us will die.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019re sticking to this relationship.\u201d Single people, who are getting ready to get married, and who are about to sign any other kind of pre-nup\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014forget it! Toss the other pre-nups and come to the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway. At the end of the getaway, you know what you\u2019ll receive? You will receive a hard copy of the marriage covenant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to tell you\u2014I\u2019ve been all over the country, in a lot of people\u2019s homes, because we\u2019ve trained over two million people at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. A bunch of them have these covenants hanging up in their home. I\u2019ve had some couples tell me\u2014when they\u2019ve had arguments, they\u2019ve both stopped and pointed up at the covenant to say: \u201cI\u2019m in. I\u2019m in. We may disagree. We may not be able to get this worked out right now, at this moment, but you know what? I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> To the single people that we\u2019re talking to here today\u2014this ought to scare you to <em>death<\/em>\u2014all this stuff about cohabitation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I mean, if you can\u2019t trust anyone <em>before<\/em> you get married, how are you going to trust them just because they say, \u201cI do\u201d? It needs to be built upon a discipline of two people, who build trust into one another\u2019s lives, and then they make the most sacred pledge and promise two people ever make in a lifetime. They make it before Almighty God and they say, \u201cBefore God, I take you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> I\u2019m not a big, big fan of arranged marriages; but there is a very important thing to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You will be by the time you get those five\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When those girls get older; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You will change your tune because I didn\u2019t start out that way; but I thought, \u201cIf I could arrange this, this would be a whole lot better than this whole dating thing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Go ahead though, Glenn\u2014make your point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your girls did just fine on their own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They did just fine; but I\u2019m talking about, in the midst of the dating deal, as it was occurring in the teenage years. It was like: \u201cOh, my goodness! This is not a good system right now.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes, you\u2019re right; but it is this idea that we tend to leave the most important decision that people make in their life, after their decision for Christ\u2014their marriage relationship is: \u201cYou know what, kids? It\u2019s all up to you. You just decide what you think is best for you,\u201d\u2014whereas, for all other cultures\u2014they consult the parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not the parents\u2019 decision, but it\u2019s not that the parents don\u2019t have any say in it. The parents, the extended family, the spiritual family around you\u2014ask people: \u201cDo you think this guy\u2019s right for me?\u201d \u201cDo you think this gal is right for me?\u201d Get the wisdom \/ get the insight\u2014these people care for you \/ they love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say: \u201cConsult the people around you\u2014who have a little more wisdom, a little more experience with life, a little more experience with relationships\u2014get <em>their<\/em> feedback on: \u2018What do you think we need to work on? What do we need to be aware of? What do we need to be mindful of?\u2019 rather than just saying, \u2018Okay, it\u2019s just about you kids, who have no experience in life whatsoever.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to make it more of a community sort of thing, which is exactly what marriage is. It\u2019s exactly why we invite the community to our weddings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think we need more people, who understand the implications of cohabitation, because, again, the culture is saying, \u201cLook, this is a great thing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFolks just need to understand: \u201cNo, if you look at it carefully, this is like a Fifth Avenue watch\u2014not one they sell in a store\u2014but the kind a guy has got under his coat\u2014it looks good \/ looks really good, but buy it and see how long it lasts!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cIt says it\u2019s Rolex<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> \u201cAnd they couldn\u2019t say it if it wasn\u2019t true.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right! I would say, coupled with that: \u201cThey need to understand the negative consequences of cohabiting; but they also need to understand the benefits of marriage, as God designed it in the Scripture. It is <em>not<\/em> the perfect institution because it\u2019s made of two imperfect people.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cBut that\u2019s why the Bible was written\u2014to help two imperfect people know how to live out, in relationship with their God, and with one another, and with their offspring for a lifetime.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If folks want more information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, we still have a couple of them going on this summer. Then, in the fall, we\u2019ll kick off a full season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tClick the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll see information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, along with information about the video event that we\u2019ve put together called <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. If there\u2019s not a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> happening in a location near where you live, you can host your very own <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>Friday night\/Saturday video conference. Invite friends and have a great focus on marriage in your church, in your neighborhood, in your community. Do it wherever it makes sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> \/ there\u2019s information about <em>The<\/em> Art of Marriage. And there\u2019s information about Glenn Stanton\u2019s book, which is called <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>. You can order a copy of that book from us, online. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You\u2019ll get information about all of these things when you click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Or, if you\u2019d prefer to order a copy of Glenn\u2019s book by phone, the toll-free number is 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, one of the verses in the Bible that has always stuck with me\u2014and I remember learning this Bible verse, back when I was in my twenties\u2014Romans, Chapter 12, verses 1 and 2, where it says that we are to present our bodies as a \u201cliving sacrifice.\u201d It\u2019s our \u201cspiritual service of worship to God.\u201d But then, in verse two, it goes on to say we are \u201cnot to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife, our commitment is to hold up God\u2019s Word \/ God\u2019s truth about marriage and family. Wherever the culture is going, just to say, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s what the culture is telling you; but here\u2019s what the Bible has been telling us for thousands of years.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to thank those of you who partner with us in making this possible, either as\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLegacy Partners \/ donating to the ministry each month or as folks who occasionally make a donation in support of this ministry. Maybe God has used <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>in some significant way in your marriage and your family, and you\u2019d like to make a donation today\u2014you can do that. Go, online, to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make an online donation. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone. Or you can mail a donation to us at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today of, at least, $50, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a book from Dennis Rainey for men called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood, <\/em>and a book for women from Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian called <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design. <\/em>Both books are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d when you support the ministry today with a donation of, at least, $50.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about the whole issue of how cohabiting couples handle money. I mean: \u201cWhat do you do if you move in together? Do you keep \u2018my money\u2019 \/ \u2018your money\u2019? How do you handle the groceries?\u201d We\u2019ll find out what most couples are doing and how that can be a challenge when we talk tomorrow to Glenn Stanton. I hope you can be here with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303537"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303537"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303537"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303537"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}