{"id":303535,"date":"2015-06-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-06-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/cohabitation-the-new-norm\/"},"modified":"2015-06-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-06-17T15:00:00","slug":"cohabitation-the-new-norm","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cohabitation-the-new-norm\/","title":{"rendered":"Cohabitation: The New Norm"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Does living together reap the same benefits as marriage? Focus on the Family&#8217;s Glenn Stanton doesn&#8217;t think so. In fact, Glenn, who&#8217;s done extensive research on this topic, tells why cohabitation almost guarantees divorce due to lack of commitment and relational ambiguity. He goes on to explain why cohabitation is a relationship on a man&#8217;s terms while marriage is a relationship on a woman&#8217;s terms.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does living together reap the same benefits as marriage?  Glenn Stanton, who has done extensive research on this topic, tells why cohabitation almost guarantees divorce.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.01M","filesize_raw":"24128107","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817,2848],"tags":[5696,5698,5201,5695,5697,4086,5700,5701,5699],"podcast_series":[7865],"cwp_profile":[3162],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303535","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","category-cultural-issues","tag-cohabit","tag-cohabitate","tag-cohabitation","tag-cohabitation-agreement","tag-cohabitation-before-marriage","tag-commitment","tag-divorce-statistics","tag-getting-engaged","tag-living-together-before-marriage","podcast_series-the-ring-makes-all-the-difference","cwp_profile-glenn-stanton","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303535\/cohabitation-the-new-norm","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303535\/cohabitation-the-new-norm","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"nz0bdN6l7u\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cohabitation-the-new-norm\/\">Cohabitation: The New Norm<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/cohabitation-the-new-norm\/embed\/#?secret=nz0bdN6l7u\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Cohabitation: The New Norm&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"nz0bdN6l7u\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Living together before you\u2019re married just isn\u2019t a good idea, especially if you\u2019re a woman. Here\u2019s Glenn Stanton.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Marriage is the relationship on the woman\u2019s terms. A <em>wife <\/em>is a more powerful player in the relationship than a live-in girlfriend is. In cohabitation, the <em>guy<\/em> is the one that has most of the relational influence and power. In marriage, it\u2019s the woman. Young ladies need to understand that. There is something about marriage that empowers the women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We came this close to playing that Beyonc\u00e9 song, <em>Put a Ring on It<\/em>, as a teaser for this radio program; but we used this generic blues riff instead. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. My first full-time job, working in radio\u2014I worked in an all-news station\u2014news and talk. I remember\u2014I <em>think<\/em> it was Valentine\u2019s Day. Our sister station carried a feature by a CBS newsman, Charles Osgood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you ever listened to <em>The Osgood Report<\/em>\u2014he was a great writer \/ great delivery. I mean, I loved listening to him as I drove in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think it was Valentine\u2019s Day, years ago, when I heard him recite a love poem. It was one he had written. He prefaced his love poem by talking about the fact that the census department had just come up with this new designation of people in the census and had called them \u201cpersons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters,\u201d\u2014that was the designation. You were either \u201cmarried,\u201d or you were \u201cdivorced,\u201d or you were \u201cpersons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe made that into an acronym: \u201cPOSSLQ\u201d. He wrote a love poem to his POSSLQ. I\u2019d like to read it to you\u2014may I do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You may.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>[Recites the poem, <em>POSSLQ<\/em>, by Charles Osgood. CBS Radio (1982)]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sounds like a rodent! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Continues reading <em>POSSLQ<\/em>] I\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t that sweet? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s sweet. Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s always stuck with me. We\u2019re talking about POSSLQs today; aren\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, a form of POSSLQs. [Laughter] We have the author of a book, <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference.<\/em> Glenn Stanton joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Don\u2019t you love radio? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>I <em>do <\/em>love radio!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, you can read a poem like that. I don\u2019t know about that poem!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGlenn is a friend who works at an organization we have the utmost respect for\u2014<em>Focus on the Family<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>. He and his wife Jackie were married in 1982. They have five children. He\u2019s the author of a number of books, including <em>this <\/em>book. He does a lot of research for <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>. In fact, you are the Director of Family Formation Studies\u2014do a lot of debating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>A lot of debating. I do a lot of reading \/ a lot of research. Then I get to go out and apply that research in making arguments for the things that we believe. I <em>love<\/em> to be able to engage people who don\u2019t necessarily believe what we believe and try to convince them that we have something going for us\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we have research, we have data, we have facts on our side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We also have, hopefully, grace and stability in that kind of an environment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely. And that\u2019s the big part of it as well. It\u2019s interesting\u2014I\u2019ll come back from debates and they\u2019ll be like, \u201cWho won?\u201d It\u2019s not about \u201cWho won?\u201d It\u2019s about \u201cWhat did you get to <em>say<\/em> and what <em>assumptions<\/em> did you get to <em>challenge<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Those sorts of things. It\u2019s not about winning arguments\u2014it\u2019s about winning hearts \/ it\u2019s about winning minds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It really is! You can win the debate and you can lose it very easily\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014by coming across as a finger-pointing\u2014against everything and anything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and just being negative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve written this book because of\u2014 not a new phenomenon \/ it\u2019s not new\u2014but it\u2019s a growing phenomenon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Cohabitation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Phenomenally growing! Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In 1960, a little over 400,000 people were cohabiting in America. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, it\u2019s grown 17 times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There are over 7.5 million cohabiting today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Couples! That\u2019s not just the individuals\u2014couples! I mean, that\u2019s <em>remarkable!<\/em> If you look at the projection line from the \u201860s, it is just straight up. If we\u2019re going to look at the family-formation trends that are really, really moving in a positive direction \/ upward direction\u2014I shouldn\u2019t say positive, necessarily\u2014it is cohabitation and out-of-wedlock child-bearing\u2014it\u2019s not marriage. Divorce is kind of leveling off. Cohabitation is the one that is really just spiking, and we need to pay attention to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are cohabiting couples growing faster\u2014at a greater percentage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014than any other form?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Than, really, anything else. And, more children are born into <em>cohabiting <\/em>situations than to truly single moms\u2014in terms of\u2014we think about out-of-wedlock child-bearing\u2014single women without a guy around. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, most of these are <em>cohabiting<\/em> situations. So, in terms of just the absolute, off-the-chart growth trends, it\u2019s those two things; and they\u2019re really related.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had somebody suggest to you the other day that this is the new norm\u2014that cohabitation is the new path to marriage\u2014it\u2019s almost the default.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>The <em>majority<\/em> of marriages happening today are preceded by some form of cohabitation\u2014just a little over 60 percent. I mean, that\u2019s <em>remarkable<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That was what was shared with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just kind of took a step back and I said, \u201cWhat?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what they said\u2014they said: \u201cCohabitation is now viewed as the model for marriage preparation. Before you get married, you have a test drive.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cTry before you buy!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes, and you know what? Here are the two things: First of all, cohabitation in the \u201860s and \u201870s came out of a <em>negative<\/em> attitude toward marriage\u2014it was: \u201cOh, it\u2019s just a piece of paper. We don\u2019t need some judge to qualify our love. Our love will speak for itself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut now, cohabitation is, if you will, motivated by a high view of marriage, curiously. It is: \u201cWe do not want to mess up marriage like our parents did. We want to get it right; so rather than jump in and mess it up, we are going to kind of wade into it.\u201d Cohabiting is the way that they wade into it. The great majority of young people today <em>think <\/em>that cohabitation <em>is <\/em>the smart way to wade into marriage, but the research tells a very different story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, it doesn\u2019t guarantee a divorce; but it increases the rate of divorce. Does it not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>You know what? Researchers will tell you that if divorce is your interest, you could not do worse than to cohabit together. Cohabitation is not the <em>only<\/em> thing that drives divorce\u2014but nothing will, in a curious way, guarantee divorce like cohabitation does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Peel that back for me: \u201cWhy is it that, if my girlfriend and I get together and live together for a couple of years before we decide to go ahead and get married, why would that create any issue for our marriage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI mean, it would seem like we kind of eased into it\u2014we had a test period.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWe decided: \u2018Yes. We really do love each other and want to be together.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Why is it a destructive force?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want you to answer that question\u2014but, just so our listeners understand, Bob\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s not my girlfriend!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Thank you, Bob. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I was speaking hypothetically! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That was big of you\u2014just to be so forthright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was a theoretical question that Bob has a girlfriend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, thank you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay! Now, go ahead and answer the question, Glenn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Dennis\u2019s face just dropped!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; yes\u2014right here on the radio\u2014Bob announcing it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Don\u2019t we have a statement of faith here that employees are supposed to sign?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We do; we do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Excuse me, Mary Ann\u2019s on the phone. I need to take this real quick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have a statement of faithfulness, too; and I can attest to Bob\u2019s faithfulness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, answer the question, Glenn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That\u2019s good!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, first of all, it\u2019s important to understand, just with secular sociologists\u2014if we went next week to, you know, the big meetings that they had\u2014and we asked them to comment on this phrase, \u201cthe cohabitational effect,\u201d\u2014that it\u2019s a term that they have developed to describe the fact that cohabiters, across the board, tend to have weaker, less healthy, more brittle relationships. Those relationships go on to tend to be associated with greater divorce within marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat fact is not contested among sociologists. It\u2019s just a fact. They have a phrase for it: \u201cthe cohabitation effect.\u201d The question is \/ the question that you\u2019re asking: \u201cWhy?\u2014why is that relationship there?\u201d It\u2019s interesting that that\u2019s where the real debate comes up. Some sociologists say that cohabitation shows greater negative effect because it selects into itself people who, by themselves, don\u2019t have as healthy a relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019re trying out marriage because they\u2019re scared \/ they\u2019re insecure. They didn\u2019t see it modeled well. So, you\u2019re starting with a sample group that\u2019s already predisposed in a wrong direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>And because these are people who are kind of a little more adventurous, if you will, sexually and relationally\u2014they don\u2019t tend to adhere to, kind of, traditional views. There\u2019s a bit of that\u2014but the researchers are coming up with that there\u2019s something about the cohabiting relationship itself. You ask the question: \u201cWhat is it about\u2014if me and my girlfriend get together and live together\u2014what difference does that make?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the big thing\u2014two things: lack of commitment. Clearly, cohabitation is a holding back. It\u2019s, \u201cI\u2019m not going to give completely everything to you.\u201d The sociologists are finding, when you hold something back in a relationship, it makes a difference! The other is what they call (it\u2019s kind of a fancy word) the \u201crelational ambiguity.\u201d That is\u2014researchers, when they look at men and women cohabiting, men will tend to have an expectation of what the relationship is and women tend to have an expectation of what the relationship is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCuriously, one of those partners is more likely to say, \u201cWe\u2019re just hanging out, and having fun, and seeing what happens.\u201d There\u2019s another partner who says: \u201cYou know what? We\u2019re in love, and we\u2019re kind of moving our way to marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, ask the question: \u201cWho do you think the guy is? Who do you think the gal is?\u201d You don\u2019t have to be so gender stereotypical to realize girls more likely think about love \/ they think about marriage. The guys are more likely to just be hanging out and having fun. That means that the relationship itself is on different settings with each of those different people. That is a serious, if you will, flat tire to the relationship that keeps the relationship from moving in a healthy way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Instead of watching Bill O\u2019Reilly the other night, I channel-surfed by some of the new television programs. I have to tell you\u2014I was astounded.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s like it\u2019s a wholesale sales job on the next generation what we are talking about here: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is healthy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is normative.\u201d And yet, it\u2019s a lie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting. Women are empowered. This is one thing that I like to say, and it\u2019s absolutely true. Cohabitation is the relationship on the guy\u2019s terms. Marriage is the relationship on the woman\u2019s terms. A <em>wife <\/em>is a more powerful player in the relationship than a live-in girlfriend is. In cohabitation, the <em>guy<\/em> is the one that has most of the relational influence and power\u2014in <em>marriage<\/em>, it\u2019s the woman. Young ladies need to understand that. There is something about marriage that empowers the women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the young woman, who is thinking to herself: \u201cBut if I don\u2019t move in\u2014he wants me to \/ he asked me to. I mean, he hasn\u2019t indicated any kind of commitment\u2014he said, \u2018What do you think about us living together?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIf I say, \u2018No,\u2019 to that, he\u2019s on to the next girl; and I\u2019m alone and starting over again. I don\u2019t want to start over again.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>But see the irony of that is\u2014back in the day, we would say: \u201cYou know what? If he\u2019s not ready, he\u2019s not the guy.\u201d It\u2019s interesting that the research is showing us\u2014at the University of Denver, these scholars have found out\u2014that for couples who move in together, there is a negative impact on the guy. The guy tends to be engrossed\u2014be less committed to the current relationship. When they do marry, he is a less-committed husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they found out was that there was no negative effect like that on the woman. She just comes into the relationship with a high-level of commitment. It\u2019s like: \u201cLadies, if you want the commitment level of your guy to decrease in the current relationship and in the future marriage relationship, then cohabitation is <em>exactly<\/em> what you\u2019re looking for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this is <em>secular<\/em> research that is finding this out. Cohabitation does not put our boyfriends on the track to domesticity in marriage\u2014it\u2019s not moving them in the marital direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s actually keeping them and cementing them more in the boyfriend direction. Girls need to understand it\u2019s not taking your guy in the direction that you want him to go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Glenn, I know that you are familiar with Dr. George Gilder and the book that he wrote.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was first called, I think, <em>Sexual Suicide.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Then it became <em>Men and Marriage.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the things that he wrote about, as a Harvard sociologist, was how women are giving up their sexual power and their power as women by moving in with guys and not holding out the gift of giving herself to him until the guy makes a commitment and moves into a committed marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>He was really the guy who put out the idea that\u2014I mean, ironically\u2014marriage is a feminist institution, in the best sense of the word. It is the relationship that <em>empowers<\/em> the woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would encourage anybody who is interested in understanding what marriage is about to read that book by George Gilder, <em>Men and Marriage.<\/em> It\u2019s a <em>powerful<\/em> classic book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what I want you to answer, though: \u201cWhat is taking place with our young ladies for this wholesale sell-out?\u201d I mean, is it what Bob just said\u2014is it they\u2019re afraid?\u2014they\u2019re looking around in the culture and seeing the average age of men going up to 27, 28, and beyond before they make a commitment to get married. Are they going, \u201cIf I want to have a chance of this happening\u2026\u201d\u2014is that the reason?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think they\u2019re thinking: \u201cI either get involved, sexually, and move in and do what the culture\u2019s saying to do, or I join a nunnery. Those are my options in today\u2019s modern world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI either participate or I\u2019m off the playing field and out of the picture.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s the big $64,000 question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a number of answers to it, and we can debate about what the right answers are; but first of all, we do need to understand that this generation\u2014the Pugh Research Group said, last year, that the millennial generation \/ the generation coming of age today\u2014is <em>the most<\/em> pro-marriage group alive today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That\u2019s a remarkable thing. They\u2019re pro-marriage because of what they were denied. They saw most of their parents\u2019 marriages fall apart; and none of them are going: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m going to give that same gift to <em>my <\/em>kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>They want marriage to work. So, the women want to marry. I think too many of them see these kind-of-delayed adolescent guys\u2014the gamer guys, with their hats turned around backwards\u2014and like: \u201cOkay, how am I going to get my guy to the marriage stage? Well, if I move in with him\u2026\u201d They tend to think of cohabitation as the on-ramp to marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Like: \u201cIf you move in with him, you can domesticate him\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand he\u2019ll move toward marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely! It\u2019s the conveyor belt, if you will, or the escalator to marriage\u2014once you get on it, it\u2019s just inevitable. But, again, what the research is showing is\u2014a cohabiting woman has <em>less<\/em> influence upon where the relationship goes than a woman who is not cohabiting. Women who move in with a guy have a harder time moving that relationship towards marriage because, again, the relationship is on the guy\u2019s terms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s got what he wants! He\u2019s got access to regular sex. He\u2019s got somebody to care for him\u2014to cook for him and to clean for him. That\u2019s another thing! In cohabiting relationships, guys\u2014it is shown\u2014help out with the housework less often. A husband\u2014a man with a ring on his finger\u2014helps out with housework eight hours more a week than a live-in boyfriend does, and he complains less about it. In a way, marriage is the institution\u2014this is Gilder\u2019s point\u2014marriage domesticates men. Cohabitation does not domesticate men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Gilder\u2019s point was cohabitation allows a man to be a barbarian\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to keep his options open. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, now, I\u2019m going to move us out of the\u2014we\u2019ve been hitting some statistics and the sociologists.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want Glenn Stanton to put on his \u201cdaddy\u201d hat. You\u2019ve got five kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How many of them are daughters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>I\u2019ve got four girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Fourgirls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Alright. Knowing all of this, Glenn, as their daddy, what in the world are you and Jackie doing in their lives to prepare them for this culture, and the messaging of this culture, and the <em>men<\/em> that they\u2019re going to rub shoulders with in this culture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Well, Dennis, that\u2019s the other part of the answer to your question is\u2014it is a daddy issue; okay? \u201cWhy are these girls moving in with guys?\u201d I was talking to one of your folks here. She was telling me about a lot of people in her extended family\u2014beautiful young girls\u2014who are moving in with guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI asked her, \u201cTell me their daddy stories.\u201d She said: \u201cYou know what? For a number of them, their daddies were just not on the scene.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe main thing that I want to do with my girls is to say: \u201cYou are <em>amazing<\/em>! I feel sorry for you,\u201d\u2014I say this jokingly\u2014\u201cI feel sorry for you because there is no guy out there that is good enough for you.\u201d [Laughter] You know? They\u2019re getting that message that: \u201cOkay. It\u2019s going to be a pretty special guy who deserves my affection.\u201d Girls who cohabit and girls who are willing to make the compromise are girls who haven\u2019t had the kind of good father-love to say: \u201cI have a man in my life who cares for me, who would die for me, who would take a bullet for me\u2014no question. I am not going to settle for the first kind of suave guy who comes along.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What I hear you saying is for daddies, first of all, to be there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And secondly, to be connected\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014heart to heart \/ tethered into his daughter\u2019s life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014knowing what\u2019s going on \/ helping her navigate difficult issues and all the traps of the culture. The real challenge for dads is to not unplug and to not be afraid because this little girl he used to hold in his lap now grows up and becomes a beautiful woman. He\u2019s going: \u201cMan, she\u2019s beautiful! I\u2019ve got to be careful here, you know, as a dad, physically\u2014still hugging her, and loving on her, and speaking truth to her \/ coaching her and preparing her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s the key thing I want to say: \u201cDaddies need to be intentional to prepare their daughters for this culture.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and I think the point is\u2014we\u2019re raising children today in a culture where the norm is going to be living together before you get married. Why do we think our kids are not going to do what everybody else is doing unless we have given them some compelling reasons about why that\u2019s a bad idea? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGlenn, I think your book does a great job of spelling it out. Hopefully, the things we\u2019ve talked about today are going to help a lot of moms and dads\u2014and also a lot of young people\u2014think about this issue because\u2014whether you look at it sociologically or spiritually\u2014this is a <em>bad<\/em> choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of Glenn\u2019s book, <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>. It\u2019s available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll see Glenn\u2019s book right there. Again, you can order it online. The website is: FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also request a copy of the book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I\u2019m thinking, Dennis, about the times that you and I speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>marriagegetaways. We get to speak to the engaged couples, who are coming to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. There are almost always engaged couples, who are there, who are living together\u2014they\u2019ve been living together for awhile. Our goal in that time together with them is to try to get them to adjust their thinking and to start thinking about marriage from God\u2019s perspective rather than from the cultural perspective. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re committed, here at FamilyLife, to pointing people in a biblical direction when it comes to issues related to marriage and family. We want to provide practical biblical encouragement\/coaching and, ultimately, help for your marriage and for your family. There are a group of people who share that vision with us\u2014it\u2019s those of you who support this ministry with occasional donations or those of you who are Legacy Partners, who donate each month to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us; and we just want to say, \u201cThank you for being part of the team.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to express our thanks by making available a couple of books\u2014one from Dennis Rainey for men\u2014a book called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em> \/ one from Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian\u2014it\u2019s a book for women called <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design.<\/em> We\u2019re going to send you both books as a thank-you gift when you make a donation of, at least, $50 in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, which you can do by going to FamilyLifeToday.com and clicking the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d\u2014make an online donation and request the books; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make a donation over the phone and request these two books; or you can mail your donation to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about why living together is fundamentally a qualitatively different kind of relationship than being married. We\u2019ll explore that tomorrow with Glenn Stanton. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.01M"],"filesize_raw":["24128107"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303535.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303535.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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living together reap the same benefits as marriage? Glenn Stanton, who has done extensive research on this topic, tells why cohabitation almost guarantees divorce.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Living together before you\u2019re married just isn\u2019t a good idea, especially if you\u2019re a woman. Here\u2019s Glenn Stanton.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Marriage is the relationship on the woman\u2019s terms. A <em>wife <\/em>is a more powerful player in the relationship than a live-in girlfriend is. In cohabitation, the <em>guy<\/em> is the one that has most of the relational influence and power. In marriage, it\u2019s the woman. Young ladies need to understand that. There is something about marriage that empowers the women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We came this close to playing that Beyonc\u00e9 song, <em>Put a Ring on It<\/em>, as a teaser for this radio program; but we used this generic blues riff instead. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition. My first full-time job, working in radio\u2014I worked in an all-news station\u2014news and talk. I remember\u2014I <em>think<\/em> it was Valentine\u2019s Day. Our sister station carried a feature by a CBS newsman, Charles Osgood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you ever listened to <em>The Osgood Report<\/em>\u2014he was a great writer \/ great delivery. I mean, I loved listening to him as I drove in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think it was Valentine\u2019s Day, years ago, when I heard him recite a love poem. It was one he had written. He prefaced his love poem by talking about the fact that the census department had just come up with this new designation of people in the census and had called them \u201cpersons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters,\u201d\u2014that was the designation. You were either \u201cmarried,\u201d or you were \u201cdivorced,\u201d or you were \u201cpersons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe made that into an acronym: \u201cPOSSLQ\u201d. He wrote a love poem to his POSSLQ. I\u2019d like to read it to you\u2014may I do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You may.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>[Recites the poem, <em>POSSLQ<\/em>, by Charles Osgood. CBS Radio (1982)]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Sounds like a rodent! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Continues reading <em>POSSLQ<\/em>] I\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t that sweet? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s sweet. Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s always stuck with me. We\u2019re talking about POSSLQs today; aren\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, a form of POSSLQs. [Laughter] We have the author of a book, <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference.<\/em> Glenn Stanton joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Don\u2019t you love radio? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>I <em>do <\/em>love radio!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean, you can read a poem like that. I don\u2019t know about that poem!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGlenn is a friend who works at an organization we have the utmost respect for\u2014<em>Focus on the Family<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>. He and his wife Jackie were married in 1982. They have five children. He\u2019s the author of a number of books, including <em>this <\/em>book. He does a lot of research for <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>. In fact, you are the Director of Family Formation Studies\u2014do a lot of debating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>A lot of debating. I do a lot of reading \/ a lot of research. Then I get to go out and apply that research in making arguments for the things that we believe. I <em>love<\/em> to be able to engage people who don\u2019t necessarily believe what we believe and try to convince them that we have something going for us\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we have research, we have data, we have facts on our side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We also have, hopefully, grace and stability in that kind of an environment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely. And that\u2019s the big part of it as well. It\u2019s interesting\u2014I\u2019ll come back from debates and they\u2019ll be like, \u201cWho won?\u201d It\u2019s not about \u201cWho won?\u201d It\u2019s about \u201cWhat did you get to <em>say<\/em> and what <em>assumptions<\/em> did you get to <em>challenge<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Those sorts of things. It\u2019s not about winning arguments\u2014it\u2019s about winning hearts \/ it\u2019s about winning minds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It really is! You can win the debate and you can lose it very easily\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014by coming across as a finger-pointing\u2014against everything and anything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and just being negative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve written this book because of\u2014 not a new phenomenon \/ it\u2019s not new\u2014but it\u2019s a growing phenomenon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Cohabitation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Phenomenally growing! Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In 1960, a little over 400,000 people were cohabiting in America. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, it\u2019s grown 17 times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There are over 7.5 million cohabiting today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Couples! That\u2019s not just the individuals\u2014couples! I mean, that\u2019s <em>remarkable!<\/em> If you look at the projection line from the \u201860s, it is just straight up. If we\u2019re going to look at the family-formation trends that are really, really moving in a positive direction \/ upward direction\u2014I shouldn\u2019t say positive, necessarily\u2014it is cohabitation and out-of-wedlock child-bearing\u2014it\u2019s not marriage. Divorce is kind of leveling off. Cohabitation is the one that is really just spiking, and we need to pay attention to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Are cohabiting couples growing faster\u2014at a greater percentage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014than any other form?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Than, really, anything else. And, more children are born into <em>cohabiting <\/em>situations than to truly single moms\u2014in terms of\u2014we think about out-of-wedlock child-bearing\u2014single women without a guy around. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, most of these are <em>cohabiting<\/em> situations. So, in terms of just the absolute, off-the-chart growth trends, it\u2019s those two things; and they\u2019re really related.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had somebody suggest to you the other day that this is the new norm\u2014that cohabitation is the new path to marriage\u2014it\u2019s almost the default.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>The <em>majority<\/em> of marriages happening today are preceded by some form of cohabitation\u2014just a little over 60 percent. I mean, that\u2019s <em>remarkable<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That was what was shared with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I just kind of took a step back and I said, \u201cWhat?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what they said\u2014they said: \u201cCohabitation is now viewed as the model for marriage preparation. Before you get married, you have a test drive.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cTry before you buy!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes, and you know what? Here are the two things: First of all, cohabitation in the \u201860s and \u201870s came out of a <em>negative<\/em> attitude toward marriage\u2014it was: \u201cOh, it\u2019s just a piece of paper. We don\u2019t need some judge to qualify our love. Our love will speak for itself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut now, cohabitation is, if you will, motivated by a high view of marriage, curiously. It is: \u201cWe do not want to mess up marriage like our parents did. We want to get it right; so rather than jump in and mess it up, we are going to kind of wade into it.\u201d Cohabiting is the way that they wade into it. The great majority of young people today <em>think <\/em>that cohabitation <em>is <\/em>the smart way to wade into marriage, but the research tells a very different story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In fact, it doesn\u2019t guarantee a divorce; but it increases the rate of divorce. Does it not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>You know what? Researchers will tell you that if divorce is your interest, you could not do worse than to cohabit together. Cohabitation is not the <em>only<\/em> thing that drives divorce\u2014but nothing will, in a curious way, guarantee divorce like cohabitation does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Peel that back for me: \u201cWhy is it that, if my girlfriend and I get together and live together for a couple of years before we decide to go ahead and get married, why would that create any issue for our marriage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI mean, it would seem like we kind of eased into it\u2014we had a test period.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cWe decided: \u2018Yes. We really do love each other and want to be together.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Why is it a destructive force?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want you to answer that question\u2014but, just so our listeners understand, Bob\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s not my girlfriend!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Thank you, Bob. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I was speaking hypothetically! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That was big of you\u2014just to be so forthright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was a theoretical question that Bob has a girlfriend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, thank you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Okay! Now, go ahead and answer the question, Glenn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Dennis\u2019s face just dropped!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; yes\u2014right here on the radio\u2014Bob announcing it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Don\u2019t we have a statement of faith here that employees are supposed to sign?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We do; we do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Excuse me, Mary Ann\u2019s on the phone. I need to take this real quick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We have a statement of faithfulness, too; and I can attest to Bob\u2019s faithfulness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, answer the question, Glenn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That\u2019s good!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, first of all, it\u2019s important to understand, just with secular sociologists\u2014if we went next week to, you know, the big meetings that they had\u2014and we asked them to comment on this phrase, \u201cthe cohabitational effect,\u201d\u2014that it\u2019s a term that they have developed to describe the fact that cohabiters, across the board, tend to have weaker, less healthy, more brittle relationships. Those relationships go on to tend to be associated with greater divorce within marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat fact is not contested among sociologists. It\u2019s just a fact. They have a phrase for it: \u201cthe cohabitation effect.\u201d The question is \/ the question that you\u2019re asking: \u201cWhy?\u2014why is that relationship there?\u201d It\u2019s interesting that that\u2019s where the real debate comes up. Some sociologists say that cohabitation shows greater negative effect because it selects into itself people who, by themselves, don\u2019t have as healthy a relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019re trying out marriage because they\u2019re scared \/ they\u2019re insecure. They didn\u2019t see it modeled well. So, you\u2019re starting with a sample group that\u2019s already predisposed in a wrong direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>And because these are people who are kind of a little more adventurous, if you will, sexually and relationally\u2014they don\u2019t tend to adhere to, kind of, traditional views. There\u2019s a bit of that\u2014but the researchers are coming up with that there\u2019s something about the cohabiting relationship itself. You ask the question: \u201cWhat is it about\u2014if me and my girlfriend get together and live together\u2014what difference does that make?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the big thing\u2014two things: lack of commitment. Clearly, cohabitation is a holding back. It\u2019s, \u201cI\u2019m not going to give completely everything to you.\u201d The sociologists are finding, when you hold something back in a relationship, it makes a difference! The other is what they call (it\u2019s kind of a fancy word) the \u201crelational ambiguity.\u201d That is\u2014researchers, when they look at men and women cohabiting, men will tend to have an expectation of what the relationship is and women tend to have an expectation of what the relationship is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCuriously, one of those partners is more likely to say, \u201cWe\u2019re just hanging out, and having fun, and seeing what happens.\u201d There\u2019s another partner who says: \u201cYou know what? We\u2019re in love, and we\u2019re kind of moving our way to marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, ask the question: \u201cWho do you think the guy is? Who do you think the gal is?\u201d You don\u2019t have to be so gender stereotypical to realize girls more likely think about love \/ they think about marriage. The guys are more likely to just be hanging out and having fun. That means that the relationship itself is on different settings with each of those different people. That is a serious, if you will, flat tire to the relationship that keeps the relationship from moving in a healthy way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Instead of watching Bill O\u2019Reilly the other night, I channel-surfed by some of the new television programs. I have to tell you\u2014I was astounded.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s like it\u2019s a wholesale sales job on the next generation what we are talking about here: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThis is healthy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cThis is normative.\u201d And yet, it\u2019s a lie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting. Women are empowered. This is one thing that I like to say, and it\u2019s absolutely true. Cohabitation is the relationship on the guy\u2019s terms. Marriage is the relationship on the woman\u2019s terms. A <em>wife <\/em>is a more powerful player in the relationship than a live-in girlfriend is. In cohabitation, the <em>guy<\/em> is the one that has most of the relational influence and power\u2014in <em>marriage<\/em>, it\u2019s the woman. Young ladies need to understand that. There is something about marriage that empowers the women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, the young woman, who is thinking to herself: \u201cBut if I don\u2019t move in\u2014he wants me to \/ he asked me to. I mean, he hasn\u2019t indicated any kind of commitment\u2014he said, \u2018What do you think about us living together?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cIf I say, \u2018No,\u2019 to that, he\u2019s on to the next girl; and I\u2019m alone and starting over again. I don\u2019t want to start over again.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>But see the irony of that is\u2014back in the day, we would say: \u201cYou know what? If he\u2019s not ready, he\u2019s not the guy.\u201d It\u2019s interesting that the research is showing us\u2014at the University of Denver, these scholars have found out\u2014that for couples who move in together, there is a negative impact on the guy. The guy tends to be engrossed\u2014be less committed to the current relationship. When they do marry, he is a less-committed husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they found out was that there was no negative effect like that on the woman. She just comes into the relationship with a high-level of commitment. It\u2019s like: \u201cLadies, if you want the commitment level of your guy to decrease in the current relationship and in the future marriage relationship, then cohabitation is <em>exactly<\/em> what you\u2019re looking for.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this is <em>secular<\/em> research that is finding this out. Cohabitation does not put our boyfriends on the track to domesticity in marriage\u2014it\u2019s not moving them in the marital direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s actually keeping them and cementing them more in the boyfriend direction. Girls need to understand it\u2019s not taking your guy in the direction that you want him to go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Glenn, I know that you are familiar with Dr. George Gilder and the book that he wrote.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was first called, I think, <em>Sexual Suicide.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Then it became <em>Men and Marriage.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the things that he wrote about, as a Harvard sociologist, was how women are giving up their sexual power and their power as women by moving in with guys and not holding out the gift of giving herself to him until the guy makes a commitment and moves into a committed marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>He was really the guy who put out the idea that\u2014I mean, ironically\u2014marriage is a feminist institution, in the best sense of the word. It is the relationship that <em>empowers<\/em> the woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would encourage anybody who is interested in understanding what marriage is about to read that book by George Gilder, <em>Men and Marriage.<\/em> It\u2019s a <em>powerful<\/em> classic book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what I want you to answer, though: \u201cWhat is taking place with our young ladies for this wholesale sell-out?\u201d I mean, is it what Bob just said\u2014is it they\u2019re afraid?\u2014they\u2019re looking around in the culture and seeing the average age of men going up to 27, 28, and beyond before they make a commitment to get married. Are they going, \u201cIf I want to have a chance of this happening\u2026\u201d\u2014is that the reason?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think they\u2019re thinking: \u201cI either get involved, sexually, and move in and do what the culture\u2019s saying to do, or I join a nunnery. Those are my options in today\u2019s modern world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI either participate or I\u2019m off the playing field and out of the picture.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s the big $64,000 question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a number of answers to it, and we can debate about what the right answers are; but first of all, we do need to understand that this generation\u2014the Pugh Research Group said, last year, that the millennial generation \/ the generation coming of age today\u2014is <em>the most<\/em> pro-marriage group alive today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That\u2019s a remarkable thing. They\u2019re pro-marriage because of what they were denied. They saw most of their parents\u2019 marriages fall apart; and none of them are going: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m going to give that same gift to <em>my <\/em>kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>They want marriage to work. So, the women want to marry. I think too many of them see these kind-of-delayed adolescent guys\u2014the gamer guys, with their hats turned around backwards\u2014and like: \u201cOkay, how am I going to get my guy to the marriage stage? Well, if I move in with him\u2026\u201d They tend to think of cohabitation as the on-ramp to marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Like: \u201cIf you move in with him, you can domesticate him\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand he\u2019ll move toward marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely! It\u2019s the conveyor belt, if you will, or the escalator to marriage\u2014once you get on it, it\u2019s just inevitable. But, again, what the research is showing is\u2014a cohabiting woman has <em>less<\/em> influence upon where the relationship goes than a woman who is not cohabiting. Women who move in with a guy have a harder time moving that relationship towards marriage because, again, the relationship is on the guy\u2019s terms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s got what he wants! He\u2019s got access to regular sex. He\u2019s got somebody to care for him\u2014to cook for him and to clean for him. That\u2019s another thing! In cohabiting relationships, guys\u2014it is shown\u2014help out with the housework less often. A husband\u2014a man with a ring on his finger\u2014helps out with housework eight hours more a week than a live-in boyfriend does, and he complains less about it. In a way, marriage is the institution\u2014this is Gilder\u2019s point\u2014marriage domesticates men. Cohabitation does not domesticate men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Gilder\u2019s point was cohabitation allows a man to be a barbarian\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014to keep his options open. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, now, I\u2019m going to move us out of the\u2014we\u2019ve been hitting some statistics and the sociologists.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want Glenn Stanton to put on his \u201cdaddy\u201d hat. You\u2019ve got five kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How many of them are daughters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>I\u2019ve got four girls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Fourgirls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Alright. Knowing all of this, Glenn, as their daddy, what in the world are you and Jackie doing in their lives to prepare them for this culture, and the messaging of this culture, and the <em>men<\/em> that they\u2019re going to rub shoulders with in this culture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Well, Dennis, that\u2019s the other part of the answer to your question is\u2014it is a daddy issue; okay? \u201cWhy are these girls moving in with guys?\u201d I was talking to one of your folks here. She was telling me about a lot of people in her extended family\u2014beautiful young girls\u2014who are moving in with guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI asked her, \u201cTell me their daddy stories.\u201d She said: \u201cYou know what? For a number of them, their daddies were just not on the scene.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe main thing that I want to do with my girls is to say: \u201cYou are <em>amazing<\/em>! I feel sorry for you,\u201d\u2014I say this jokingly\u2014\u201cI feel sorry for you because there is no guy out there that is good enough for you.\u201d [Laughter] You know? They\u2019re getting that message that: \u201cOkay. It\u2019s going to be a pretty special guy who deserves my affection.\u201d Girls who cohabit and girls who are willing to make the compromise are girls who haven\u2019t had the kind of good father-love to say: \u201cI have a man in my life who cares for me, who would die for me, who would take a bullet for me\u2014no question. I am not going to settle for the first kind of suave guy who comes along.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What I hear you saying is for daddies, first of all, to be there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And secondly, to be connected\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014heart to heart \/ tethered into his daughter\u2019s life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014knowing what\u2019s going on \/ helping her navigate difficult issues and all the traps of the culture. The real challenge for dads is to not unplug and to not be afraid because this little girl he used to hold in his lap now grows up and becomes a beautiful woman. He\u2019s going: \u201cMan, she\u2019s beautiful! I\u2019ve got to be careful here, you know, as a dad, physically\u2014still hugging her, and loving on her, and speaking truth to her \/ coaching her and preparing her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s the key thing I want to say: \u201cDaddies need to be intentional to prepare their daughters for this culture.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and I think the point is\u2014we\u2019re raising children today in a culture where the norm is going to be living together before you get married. Why do we think our kids are not going to do what everybody else is doing unless we have given them some compelling reasons about why that\u2019s a bad idea? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGlenn, I think your book does a great job of spelling it out. Hopefully, the things we\u2019ve talked about today are going to help a lot of moms and dads\u2014and also a lot of young people\u2014think about this issue because\u2014whether you look at it sociologically or spiritually\u2014this is a <em>bad<\/em> choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of Glenn\u2019s book, <em>The Ring Makes All the Difference<\/em>. It\u2019s available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll see Glenn\u2019s book right there. Again, you can order it online. The website is: FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also request a copy of the book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY: 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I\u2019m thinking, Dennis, about the times that you and I speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>marriagegetaways. We get to speak to the engaged couples, who are coming to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. There are almost always engaged couples, who are there, who are living together\u2014they\u2019ve been living together for awhile. Our goal in that time together with them is to try to get them to adjust their thinking and to start thinking about marriage from God\u2019s perspective rather than from the cultural perspective. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re committed, here at FamilyLife, to pointing people in a biblical direction when it comes to issues related to marriage and family. We want to provide practical biblical encouragement\/coaching and, ultimately, help for your marriage and for your family. There are a group of people who share that vision with us\u2014it\u2019s those of you who support this ministry with occasional donations or those of you who are Legacy Partners, who donate each month to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us; and we just want to say, \u201cThank you for being part of the team.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to express our thanks by making available a couple of books\u2014one from Dennis Rainey for men\u2014a book called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em> \/ one from Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian\u2014it\u2019s a book for women called <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design.<\/em> We\u2019re going to send you both books as a thank-you gift when you make a donation of, at least, $50 in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, which you can do by going to FamilyLifeToday.com and clicking the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d\u2014make an online donation and request the books; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make a donation over the phone and request these two books; or you can mail your donation to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about why living together is fundamentally a qualitatively different kind of relationship than being married. We\u2019ll explore that tomorrow with Glenn Stanton. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303535"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303535"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303535"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303535"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}