{"id":303519,"date":"2015-06-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-06-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/growing-up-as-a-stepchild\/"},"modified":"2015-06-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-06-02T15:00:00","slug":"growing-up-as-a-stepchild","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-up-as-a-stepchild\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing Up as a Stepchild"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you wondering what is going on in your stepchild&#8217;s mind?  Some stepchildren are here to tell you about their blended experience. Josh and Emily Gangl and Jenifer Thigpen tell their stories.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-02.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.53M","filesize_raw":"25720470","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2882,2858],"tags":[2585,5675,5652,5674,2209,4633,5673,4509],"podcast_series":[8082],"cwp_profile":[9388,9389,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303519","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-developing-a-relationship-with-stepchildren","category-stepparenting-skills","tag-blended-family","tag-blended-family-advice","tag-blended-family-problems","tag-child-discipline","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-skills","tag-parenting-tips","tag-step-parenting","podcast_series-step-parenting-wisdom","cwp_profile-jenifer-thigpen","cwp_profile-josh-gangl-and-emily-gangl","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303519\/growing-up-as-a-stepchild","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303519\/growing-up-as-a-stepchild","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"fQ6J3zKplF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-up-as-a-stepchild\/\">Growing Up as a Stepchild<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-up-as-a-stepchild\/embed\/#?secret=fQ6J3zKplF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Growing Up as a Stepchild&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"fQ6J3zKplF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Josh Gangl\u2019s dad started dating again after his divorce, Josh was excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>It was really fun, at first. We got to go over to Tammy\u2019s house, and we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>\u2014real food. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes, we got to eat. [Laughter] She had tacos\u2014she made tacos and milkshakes. It was the best thing in the world. My dad used to cook with a crockpot. He found this site called \u201cFive Ingredients or Less,\u201d and that\u2019s what he used\u2014five ingredients or less. [Laughter] So, we met Tammy. We were like: \u201cHey, she can cook! This is awesome!\u201d We loved it, and the girls went off and did their own thing. Then they actually got married; and we actually became a family. We figured out very quickly that: \u201cHey, these people are a lot different than us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, June 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear today from young people\u2014teenagers and young adults\u2014about what life in a blended family can be like for them. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. Most of the time, when we\u2019re talking to or talking about blended families, we\u2019re talking about moms and dads\u2014talking to the grown-ups in the relationship because they\u2019re the ones who have the most control over how the family blends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Supposedly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, they don\u2019t feel a lot in control, however; but one of the things that we\u2019re trying to do, here at FamilyLife, is also speak to the children who are in blended families because they need help and hope as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. We recently got together with about 200 people from all over the country\u2014who are engaged in stepfamily\/blended family ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis was our second gathering together with these leaders to talk about: \u201cWhat can churches and what can ministries be doing more effectively to help blended families thrive and help them go the distance in their marriage relationship?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt this most recent event, Ron Deal\u2014who gives leadership to the blended family ministry, here at FamilyLife, called FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u2122<\/sup>\u2014Ron sat down with two young women and a young man\u2014all three of them having grown up in a blended family. He talked with them, in front of the audience, about the realities that kids in blended families face. It was fascinating\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014as they shared the emotion and shared some of the practical issues that kids in these families face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want us to listen to that interview in just a moment, Bob; but I want our listeners to know we\u2019re getting ready to have our third annual Blended and Blessed<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Summit in Irvine, California, in November. Make sure you stay tuned all the way to the end to get information about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We should also say: \u201cThose folks who help support FamilyLife\u2014this is a part of what you\u2019re helping to support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou make these kinds of events possible through your financial support of this ministry, and we\u2019re grateful for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to give a shout-out to Legacy Partners\u2014these are monthly donors to FamilyLife. You are, indeed, helping us pioneer in some areas that are really very important; but they\u2019re pioneering areas\u2014we need folks to stand with us to do them. Thank you for giving, and thank you for your faithfulness to us over the years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Alright, let\u2019s listen now as Ron Deal sits down with Emily Gangl, Josh Gangl, and Jenifer Thigpen to talk about growing up in a blended family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Blended and Blessed Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>One of the most compelling statistics that I ever ran across was research that showed that children need more time to adjust to a parent\u2019s remarriage than they do time to adjust to a parental divorce. Now, just absorb that for a minute. The adults are happy \/ they\u2019re gaining\u2014they\u2019re on a trajectory towards passion planet. They\u2019re moving on, and the kids are on a different rocket\u2014going to maybe moon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight?\u2014not so sure about this: \u201cI\u2019m trying to figure this out as we go.\u201d So you\u2019re not traveling the same trajectory, at the same pace, in the same direction. You\u2019re traveling two different trajectories, at a different pace, and a different [direction]. It\u2019s just complicated to try to begin to figure it out and bridge that gap. So, we wanted to hear from some people to just share with us what it\u2019s like to be a stepkid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first person I\u2019d like to introduce is Jenifer Thigpen. Jenifer, would you come on up? [Applause] Thank you. Just come on up and have a seat. You were how old when your parents divorced?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Twenty-five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>And then one of your parents remarried when you were how old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Twenty-seven\/twenty-eight?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay. Was that dad or mom that remarried?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>My mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay, so she represents kind of the adult stepchild experience. She\u2019s going to be sharing with us from that worldview. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo introduce the next two, I want to just pause and back up for a second. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose of you that ever\u2014not many of you have a hard-back copy of <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> \/ the first edition that came out in 2002\u2014had in it something that I called \u201cThe Stepparents\u2019 Serenity Prayer.\u201d I don\u2019t know if anybody ever saw that\u2014you\u2019d have to have that edition to have seen that. It goes something like this\u2014\u201cThe Stepparents\u2019 Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to make my mate\u2019s ex-spouse vanish into thin air, and the power to force my stepchildren to love and honor me so that my mate and I will live happily ever after.\u201d Does that work? [Laughter] Yes; yes\u2014we got an \u201cAmen,\u201d out of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought about this\u2014and I was reflecting on this interview\u2014and I thought: \u201cYou know what? Maybe it\u2019s time for The Stepchild\u2019s Serenity Prayer.\u201d So, Emily and Josh Gangl are going to join us here in just a minute. I sent them that \u201cStepparents\u2019 Serenity Prayer\u201d; and I invited them to write for us\u2014to be revealed for the first time ever in the history of mankind today\u2014The Stepchild\u2019s Serenity Prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s read Emily\u2019s first. \u201cLord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the power to send my stepsiblings home from this extended sleepover, and the wisdom to know which house I\u2019m living at this week so that I may make it to adulthood sane.\u201d [Laughter] Would you welcome Emily Gangl? [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, her brother, Josh, took a crack at it too. Here\u2019s his: \u201cLord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the power to endure their cooking so that I might make it out of this house alive.\u201d [Laughter] Welcome Josh Gangl\u2014come on up. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just kind of start with you, Jenifer. Can you maybe share a story with us that kind of represents maybe what it felt like to go through the transitions and the changes?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the divorce \/ single-parent years when mom and dad weren\u2019t together again. You were an adult \/ you\u2019re on your own, and then somebody new comes into Mom\u2019s life; right?\u2014Mom remarried? Kind of walk us through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>My parents separated when I was about 23. They were separated for about two years. One year of that, they were working very hard to try to make it work \/ get back together. I got married, and my mom and dad officially divorced two weeks later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, at my wedding, it was a little bit odd and strange because things were very tense between my mom and dad on what was to be the happiest day of my life\u2014and it was\u2014but that was a strange element that was going on behind the scenes\u2014my mom actually had met her husband and started dating him pretty quickly after my parents got divorced. I think it was two years later she got remarried. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat process was a little strange because it was so quickly\u2014of being over\u2014and then this new person comes into the picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes\u2014it\u2019s strange.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Yes! So, I, even as an adult\u2014when you were talking about how it takes the children longer\u2014they actually can accept the divorce easier than they can a new person in the whole scenario because, even as an adult, I had all those emotions and then some.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Absolutely; absolutely. So what was it like to meet that person for the first time? \u2014to just kind of wrap your head around the idea: \u201cMom\u2019s going to be married to somebody different\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Very strange and very hard for me to accept. I would like to say that, even as a grown adult, I handled it maturely; but I didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had many immature moments in that whole process. Thankfully, he\u2019s like the most wonderful man and loves my mom to death. He\u2019s such a great, godly person that cherishes her\u2014so for that, I\u2019m so thankful\u2014but yes, it was just still very strange.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Emily\/Josh, can you think of a story that kind of characterizes what it was like for you to go through the divorce?\u2014and then life after and new people entering into your world?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>I think the craziest thing I went through was\u2014it\u2019s not like a specific story\u2014but it is kind of an outlook. I had a younger sister, Megan; and then Tammy had Kylie\u2014that was her daughter. So, when our parents started dating and then they decided to marry, we all thought: \u201cHey, it\u2019s going to be a big sleepover,\u201d you know. \u201cI\u2019m going to have Kylie\u2014I\u2019m going to have an older \/ I\u2019m going to have a little sister. We\u2019re all going to stay in the same room\u2014it\u2019s going to be great!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, come to find out, Kylie doesn\u2019t go to bed until like ten o\u2019clock; but at eight years old, that\u2019s one in the morning; you know? So, for a week we were having fun\u2014I don\u2019t even think it lasted a week. There were a few days we were like, \u201cThis is great\u201d; and then that fourth day, I was like, \u201cI\u2019m not getting any sleep anymore.\u201d I was like, \u201cI can\u2019t do this!\u201d It kind of hit home then that we were going to be going through a lot. It was going to really conflict\u2014like the different ways we had been raised, even though we\u2019re only eight years old, conflicted so much because we had gotten so used to that. I guess that was kind of like the wake-up moment for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay; yes. It\u2019s definitely like, \u201cOkay, the fantasy is not necessarily what reality is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. Josh, how about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>I\u2019d probably say\u2014while [they] were going through the divorce, I tended to blame myself for it. I was thinking: \u201cWas there anything I could have done to possibly have made this work? Was there anything that I did wrong?\u2014or anything like that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing the oldest, that\u2019s kind of like what I just automatically took upon myself to think: \u201cIt was my fault,\u201d or something like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember my dad got this book\u2014I don\u2019t even remember the name of it\u2014but it was some little children\u2019s story. It was all about this kid who goes through a divorce, or whatever, and how he blames himself, and that sort of thing. It just answers a whole bunch of different questions that kids normally go through with divorce. I remember reading through that story with my dad. He kind of sat all of us down in the living room and read this story to us. We kind of talked about it afterwards. I remember that very vividly, while going through the divorce, and that sort of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>How old were you at the time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Around seven or eight\u2014give or take.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Seven or eight. So, did reading that story\u2014looking back, was that helpful?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes. Very helpful because, after reading that story and after thinking about it for awhile by myself\u2014it still took a couple of years to finally accept the fact\u2014but it solidified in my mind that it wasn\u2019t my fault.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. It\u2019s a really important message for kids to be able to hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what was it like when Tammy came into the picture?\u2014\u201cDad\u2019s dating somebody now!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>It was really fun, at first. I mean, we got to go over to Tammy\u2019s house, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>\u2014real food. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes, we got to eat. [Laughter] She had tacos\u2014she made tacos and milkshakes. It was the best thing in the world. My dad used to cook with a crockpot. He found this site called \u201cFive Ingredients or Less,\u201d and that\u2019s what he used\u2014five ingredients or less. [Laughter] So, we met Tammy. We were like: \u201cHey, she can cook! This is awesome!\u201d We loved spending time with Aaron because he had video games and different stuff\u2014we loved it\u2014and the girls went off and did their own thing. Then they actually got married; and we actually became a family. We figured out very quickly that: \u201cHey, these people are a lot different than us. They like to stay up a lot later. They enjoy just kind of doing things on their own or whatever.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, what did that feel like? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re caught between those two cultures\u2014right?\u2014and now, you\u2019re figuring out: \u201cOkay, this is not as easy\u2014it\u2019s not necessarily a fun sleepover. It\u2019s hard.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>The Gangls would go over to their mom\u2019s house every other weekend. The Wheeleses never really saw their dad. I vividly remember\u2014whenever I would come home from my mom\u2019s house, I would get really, really uncomfortable and really annoyed. It was like over really nothing\u2014Kylie wouldn\u2019t have done anything. She could have just come up and talked to me, and I would just get really annoyed. I think it was coming to terms with the fact that everything\u2019s so different. You know, at eight years old, you don\u2019t really know how to cope with that\u2014I would get frustrated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talked to Tammy and my dad about it. I was telling them because they noticed I would get frustrated. I think it was the fact that you\u2019re changing roles\u2014you are having to blend the two families, so your parents are changing their parenting type. The only way I could deal with all that, and take it all in, was I would get annoyed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found out that, when I came back from my mom\u2019s house, I would have to be by myself for an hour or two and kind of like switch gears back to: \u201cOkay, our life isn\u2019t the same anymore,\u201d and that kind of thing. That kind of helped me cope with it, but a lot of talking with the parents helped too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s great \/ that\u2019s wonderful. I think that\u2019s really insightful\u2014the idea that you needed an adjustment period\u2014some grace space.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, you kind of figured that out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So what do you guys think?\u2014let me just ask this open question: \u201cWhat do you wish stepparents understood about being you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>I would probably say\u2014one thing that I really would like stepparents to understand is\u2014it\u2019s kind of a gain for you; but it\u2019s a loss for the kids because\u2014for all of us, up until the time where you get remarried\u2014we still have this fantasy \/ this dream of: \u201cMaybe my parents will get back together.\u201d Regardless of whether the parent is still alive or not, that fantasy still exists because you\u2019re still the dad or mom, and they are still the dad or mom, or whatever. It\u2019s a loss for the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to come across times where they just aren\u2019t going to accept you or whatever for probably several years. You\u2019re just going to have to be okay with it because there\u2019s really nothing that you can do until they accept you. You have to be open and be willing to be whatever they need you to be until that time comes where you can become what they need. It\u2019s really just kind of a loss\u2014period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, essentially, I hear you saying to the stepparents: \u201cBe patient with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u201cWe\u2019re trying to figure it out, and we\u2019re trying to get there. Sorry, but it just takes us awhile.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Yes, I would totally agree. I would say: \u201cJust give us a minute. Don\u2019t take it personally.\u201d I mean, you just heard me describe my mom\u2019s husband\u2014I give him the utmost praise of who he is, as a person; but just the idea of him was what I had to\u2014\u201cJust give me a minute.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Wow. Distinguish between <em>the idea<\/em> of him versus who <em>he is<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s not necessarily personal. Yes\u2014it\u2019s adjusting to the whole concept \/ the idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWas there anything about becoming a stepchild or even your life now\u2014after some period of time\u2014that is <em>easy <\/em>for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>I\u2019ll speak to that. I was an only child. My mom\u2019s husband had two children. He had actually been divorced a lot longer than my mom had been\u2014he\u2019d been divorced for 11 years before he met my mom. His two children were very\u2014more into the idea of it all and just kind of used to life \/ the new normal that they had\u2014but when I met them, it was just strange to think\u2014for a long time, my husband would tease me and say, \u201cYour brother and your sister\u2026\u201d I would always get mad because I was like: \u201cI don\u2019t have a brother or sister! I\u2019m an only child\u2014uuhh!\u201d [Laughter] There\u2019s the immaturity! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, now, it\u2019s been ten years; and I love them <em>so much<\/em>. I\u2019m proud to call them my brother and sister. Now that I have a son and they have kids, it\u2019s so fun for me that my son has an aunt, and an uncle, and cousins. [Applause] I love\u2014I get so excited on holidays because I know that we\u2019re all going to be together. I look so forward to spending time with all of them. So it\u2019s made this new element of family\u2014that I never had, growing up\u2014which was sharing holidays with brothers, and sisters, and cousins, and all of the extended family that you have. I love that for my son\u2014that he now has that element to his life as well\u2014that he would not have had before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>I completely agree with you. My stepsister, Kylie\u2014I could not imagine life without her right now. Through high school, she was my support\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I could always go to her. At the beginning, it was really rough \/ for a few years, it was really rough\u2014but literally, after that seven-year mark, we all started to kind of just mesh together\u2014and we all found our little spaces in the family. It really is a beautiful thing now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou had asked a question about \u201cbehind closed doors.\u201d Well, literally, we are the <em>craziest<\/em> people behind closed doors\u2014we goof off <em>all the time<\/em>\u2014it is great. When the parents go upstairs, all the kids\u2014stepsisters\/stepbrothers\u2014we all mesh well together, and we crack each other up. It\u2019s really, really nice <em>now<\/em> that we\u2019ve gone through all this; and we\u2019ve had all that to relate together to. I wouldn\u2019t trade it for the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s what I would call promised-land payoffs; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you guys for joining us. Thanks for being here. [Applause] Would you please thank them for coming up \/ their courage? [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, what we\u2019ve been listening to was a conversation between Ron Deal and three young adults, all of whom grew up in blended families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s hope for those folks who are in the middle of a blended family right now\u2014and the kids aren\u2019t getting along, and they\u2019re not happy with the circumstances, and they\u2019re\u2014whatever they\u2019re processing emotionally\u2014there is hope. God can do a work in the midst of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He can; and in fact, that\u2019s what Jesus Christ is all about. He is about redeeming broken people. Certainly, those who are in blended families, whether children or whether adults, are not exempt from needing redemption as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, this year, at the Blended and Blessed Summit\u2014the third annual summit like this that we\u2019ve held\u2014it\u2019s going to be in southern California\u2014we\u2019re going to feature a certain portion of the content and the time there talking to churches and church leaders about how they can minister to the youth that are growing up in blended families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. We\u2019re hoping that, alongside folks who have a primary interest in blended families, there will be a lot of youth pastors and student ministry leaders who will join us for this event because a lot of the young people, who are showing up in youth groups all across the country, are young people like the young man and the young women we\u2019ve heard from today\u2014they\u2019re in the midst of this \/ they\u2019re dealing with loss, and with fear, and with guilt, and confusion, and sadness. For you to know how you can apply the gospel in their lives\u2014knowing what they\u2019re going through\u2014we think it will be really beneficial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe event\u2019s taking place at Mariner\u2019s Church in Irvine, California, November 13<sup>th<\/sup> and 14<sup>th<\/sup>. There\u2019ll be folks traveling from all across the country to be a part of the Blended and Blessed Summit. You can get more information about how you can attend by going to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for the link for the Blended and Blessed 2015 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call if you have any questions: 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that Ron Deal\u2014who heads FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u2122<\/sup> and who we heard from today\u2014has written a small book for teenagers called <em>Life in a Blender<\/em>, where he addresses what he calls \u201cThe Big Five\u201d\u2014the challenges that children in blended families often experience. You can order a copy of <em>Life in a Blender<\/em>, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know\u2014 one of the things we have come to recognize, here at FamilyLife, is that marriage and family is an international language\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s something that doesn\u2019t matter where you live, it doesn\u2019t matter how you grew up, it doesn\u2019t matter the cultural differences that may exist between you and your neighbor. Relationships all have some common elements. There are some common challenges that face husbands and wives, moms and dads, folks in a first-time marriage, folks who are in a blended marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, our goal is to offer help. We believe that the Bible speaks to the issue of relationships\u2014talks first about our relationship with God and then, second, about our relationships with one another, flowing out of a healthy relationship with God. That\u2019s our focus here\u2014is to provide practical biblical help for marriages and families. Whatever the situation you\u2019re in, we want to be a source for that kind of help. We trust that that\u2019s what we\u2019re providing each day on this radio program. Those of you who are visit our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, we trust that you\u2019re finding the help you need there\u2014the articles \/ the resources we have. Those of you who order materials from us, we trust that you\u2019re finding those helpful as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to thank those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible. More than two-thirds of the money that we need to operate this ministry comes from folks, like you, making donations so that we can be here each day. If you can help out with a donation right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a couple of books that we think will be very helpful for you, as husbands and wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to send you Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, the hardback, and we\u2019re also going to send you the <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design<\/em> book from Mary Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss. And I should add\u2014this is not about the interior design of your home\u2014it\u2019s about the interior design of your heart, as a woman. So there\u2019s a book for guys, and there\u2019s a book for ladies. They\u2019re our gift to you when you make a donation today to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d ask that it be a donation of at least $50 or more. You can make your donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Make your online donation, and request the resources. Or ask for the two books when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make a donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could also mail your donation to us and request the books. Send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. The zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to take you into a recent FamilyLife staff meeting. We got our whole team together and had a chance to visit with singer and songwriter, Jeremy Camp. We\u2019ll hear a part of his story on tomorrow\u2019s program. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.53M"],"filesize_raw":["25720470"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303519.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303519.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you wondering what is going on in your stepchild's mind? Some stepchildren are here to tell you about their blended experience. Josh and Emily Gangl and Jenifer Thigpen tell their stories.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When Josh Gangl\u2019s dad started dating again after his divorce, Josh was excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>It was really fun, at first. We got to go over to Tammy\u2019s house, and we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>\u2014real food. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes, we got to eat. [Laughter] She had tacos\u2014she made tacos and milkshakes. It was the best thing in the world. My dad used to cook with a crockpot. He found this site called \u201cFive Ingredients or Less,\u201d and that\u2019s what he used\u2014five ingredients or less. [Laughter] So, we met Tammy. We were like: \u201cHey, she can cook! This is awesome!\u201d We loved it, and the girls went off and did their own thing. Then they actually got married; and we actually became a family. We figured out very quickly that: \u201cHey, these people are a lot different than us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, June 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear today from young people\u2014teenagers and young adults\u2014about what life in a blended family can be like for them. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. Most of the time, when we\u2019re talking to or talking about blended families, we\u2019re talking about moms and dads\u2014talking to the grown-ups in the relationship because they\u2019re the ones who have the most control over how the family blends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Supposedly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, they don\u2019t feel a lot in control, however; but one of the things that we\u2019re trying to do, here at FamilyLife, is also speak to the children who are in blended families because they need help and hope as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. We recently got together with about 200 people from all over the country\u2014who are engaged in stepfamily\/blended family ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis was our second gathering together with these leaders to talk about: \u201cWhat can churches and what can ministries be doing more effectively to help blended families thrive and help them go the distance in their marriage relationship?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt this most recent event, Ron Deal\u2014who gives leadership to the blended family ministry, here at FamilyLife, called FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u2122<\/sup>\u2014Ron sat down with two young women and a young man\u2014all three of them having grown up in a blended family. He talked with them, in front of the audience, about the realities that kids in blended families face. It was fascinating\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014as they shared the emotion and shared some of the practical issues that kids in these families face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want us to listen to that interview in just a moment, Bob; but I want our listeners to know we\u2019re getting ready to have our third annual Blended and Blessed<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Summit in Irvine, California, in November. Make sure you stay tuned all the way to the end to get information about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We should also say: \u201cThose folks who help support FamilyLife\u2014this is a part of what you\u2019re helping to support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou make these kinds of events possible through your financial support of this ministry, and we\u2019re grateful for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want to give a shout-out to Legacy Partners\u2014these are monthly donors to FamilyLife. You are, indeed, helping us pioneer in some areas that are really very important; but they\u2019re pioneering areas\u2014we need folks to stand with us to do them. Thank you for giving, and thank you for your faithfulness to us over the years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Alright, let\u2019s listen now as Ron Deal sits down with Emily Gangl, Josh Gangl, and Jenifer Thigpen to talk about growing up in a blended family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Blended and Blessed Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>One of the most compelling statistics that I ever ran across was research that showed that children need more time to adjust to a parent\u2019s remarriage than they do time to adjust to a parental divorce. Now, just absorb that for a minute. The adults are happy \/ they\u2019re gaining\u2014they\u2019re on a trajectory towards passion planet. They\u2019re moving on, and the kids are on a different rocket\u2014going to maybe moon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight?\u2014not so sure about this: \u201cI\u2019m trying to figure this out as we go.\u201d So you\u2019re not traveling the same trajectory, at the same pace, in the same direction. You\u2019re traveling two different trajectories, at a different pace, and a different [direction]. It\u2019s just complicated to try to begin to figure it out and bridge that gap. So, we wanted to hear from some people to just share with us what it\u2019s like to be a stepkid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first person I\u2019d like to introduce is Jenifer Thigpen. Jenifer, would you come on up? [Applause] Thank you. Just come on up and have a seat. You were how old when your parents divorced?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Twenty-five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>And then one of your parents remarried when you were how old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Twenty-seven\/twenty-eight?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay. Was that dad or mom that remarried?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>My mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay, so she represents kind of the adult stepchild experience. She\u2019s going to be sharing with us from that worldview. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo introduce the next two, I want to just pause and back up for a second. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose of you that ever\u2014not many of you have a hard-back copy of <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> \/ the first edition that came out in 2002\u2014had in it something that I called \u201cThe Stepparents\u2019 Serenity Prayer.\u201d I don\u2019t know if anybody ever saw that\u2014you\u2019d have to have that edition to have seen that. It goes something like this\u2014\u201cThe Stepparents\u2019 Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to make my mate\u2019s ex-spouse vanish into thin air, and the power to force my stepchildren to love and honor me so that my mate and I will live happily ever after.\u201d Does that work? [Laughter] Yes; yes\u2014we got an \u201cAmen,\u201d out of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought about this\u2014and I was reflecting on this interview\u2014and I thought: \u201cYou know what? Maybe it\u2019s time for The Stepchild\u2019s Serenity Prayer.\u201d So, Emily and Josh Gangl are going to join us here in just a minute. I sent them that \u201cStepparents\u2019 Serenity Prayer\u201d; and I invited them to write for us\u2014to be revealed for the first time ever in the history of mankind today\u2014The Stepchild\u2019s Serenity Prayer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s read Emily\u2019s first. \u201cLord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the power to send my stepsiblings home from this extended sleepover, and the wisdom to know which house I\u2019m living at this week so that I may make it to adulthood sane.\u201d [Laughter] Would you welcome Emily Gangl? [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, her brother, Josh, took a crack at it too. Here\u2019s his: \u201cLord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the power to endure their cooking so that I might make it out of this house alive.\u201d [Laughter] Welcome Josh Gangl\u2014come on up. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just kind of start with you, Jenifer. Can you maybe share a story with us that kind of represents maybe what it felt like to go through the transitions and the changes?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the divorce \/ single-parent years when mom and dad weren\u2019t together again. You were an adult \/ you\u2019re on your own, and then somebody new comes into Mom\u2019s life; right?\u2014Mom remarried? Kind of walk us through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>My parents separated when I was about 23. They were separated for about two years. One year of that, they were working very hard to try to make it work \/ get back together. I got married, and my mom and dad officially divorced two weeks later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, at my wedding, it was a little bit odd and strange because things were very tense between my mom and dad on what was to be the happiest day of my life\u2014and it was\u2014but that was a strange element that was going on behind the scenes\u2014my mom actually had met her husband and started dating him pretty quickly after my parents got divorced. I think it was two years later she got remarried. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat process was a little strange because it was so quickly\u2014of being over\u2014and then this new person comes into the picture. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes\u2014it\u2019s strange.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Yes! So, I, even as an adult\u2014when you were talking about how it takes the children longer\u2014they actually can accept the divorce easier than they can a new person in the whole scenario because, even as an adult, I had all those emotions and then some.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Absolutely; absolutely. So what was it like to meet that person for the first time? \u2014to just kind of wrap your head around the idea: \u201cMom\u2019s going to be married to somebody different\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Very strange and very hard for me to accept. I would like to say that, even as a grown adult, I handled it maturely; but I didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had many immature moments in that whole process. Thankfully, he\u2019s like the most wonderful man and loves my mom to death. He\u2019s such a great, godly person that cherishes her\u2014so for that, I\u2019m so thankful\u2014but yes, it was just still very strange.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Emily\/Josh, can you think of a story that kind of characterizes what it was like for you to go through the divorce?\u2014and then life after and new people entering into your world?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>I think the craziest thing I went through was\u2014it\u2019s not like a specific story\u2014but it is kind of an outlook. I had a younger sister, Megan; and then Tammy had Kylie\u2014that was her daughter. So, when our parents started dating and then they decided to marry, we all thought: \u201cHey, it\u2019s going to be a big sleepover,\u201d you know. \u201cI\u2019m going to have Kylie\u2014I\u2019m going to have an older \/ I\u2019m going to have a little sister. We\u2019re all going to stay in the same room\u2014it\u2019s going to be great!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, come to find out, Kylie doesn\u2019t go to bed until like ten o\u2019clock; but at eight years old, that\u2019s one in the morning; you know? So, for a week we were having fun\u2014I don\u2019t even think it lasted a week. There were a few days we were like, \u201cThis is great\u201d; and then that fourth day, I was like, \u201cI\u2019m not getting any sleep anymore.\u201d I was like, \u201cI can\u2019t do this!\u201d It kind of hit home then that we were going to be going through a lot. It was going to really conflict\u2014like the different ways we had been raised, even though we\u2019re only eight years old, conflicted so much because we had gotten so used to that. I guess that was kind of like the wake-up moment for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Okay; yes. It\u2019s definitely like, \u201cOkay, the fantasy is not necessarily what reality is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. Josh, how about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>I\u2019d probably say\u2014while [they] were going through the divorce, I tended to blame myself for it. I was thinking: \u201cWas there anything I could have done to possibly have made this work? Was there anything that I did wrong?\u2014or anything like that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing the oldest, that\u2019s kind of like what I just automatically took upon myself to think: \u201cIt was my fault,\u201d or something like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember my dad got this book\u2014I don\u2019t even remember the name of it\u2014but it was some little children\u2019s story. It was all about this kid who goes through a divorce, or whatever, and how he blames himself, and that sort of thing. It just answers a whole bunch of different questions that kids normally go through with divorce. I remember reading through that story with my dad. He kind of sat all of us down in the living room and read this story to us. We kind of talked about it afterwards. I remember that very vividly, while going through the divorce, and that sort of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>How old were you at the time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Around seven or eight\u2014give or take.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Seven or eight. So, did reading that story\u2014looking back, was that helpful?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes. Very helpful because, after reading that story and after thinking about it for awhile by myself\u2014it still took a couple of years to finally accept the fact\u2014but it solidified in my mind that it wasn\u2019t my fault.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Yes. It\u2019s a really important message for kids to be able to hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what was it like when Tammy came into the picture?\u2014\u201cDad\u2019s dating somebody now!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>It was really fun, at first. I mean, we got to go over to Tammy\u2019s house, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>\u2014real food. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes, we got to eat. [Laughter] She had tacos\u2014she made tacos and milkshakes. It was the best thing in the world. My dad used to cook with a crockpot. He found this site called \u201cFive Ingredients or Less,\u201d and that\u2019s what he used\u2014five ingredients or less. [Laughter] So, we met Tammy. We were like: \u201cHey, she can cook! This is awesome!\u201d We loved spending time with Aaron because he had video games and different stuff\u2014we loved it\u2014and the girls went off and did their own thing. Then they actually got married; and we actually became a family. We figured out very quickly that: \u201cHey, these people are a lot different than us. They like to stay up a lot later. They enjoy just kind of doing things on their own or whatever.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, what did that feel like? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re caught between those two cultures\u2014right?\u2014and now, you\u2019re figuring out: \u201cOkay, this is not as easy\u2014it\u2019s not necessarily a fun sleepover. It\u2019s hard.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>The Gangls would go over to their mom\u2019s house every other weekend. The Wheeleses never really saw their dad. I vividly remember\u2014whenever I would come home from my mom\u2019s house, I would get really, really uncomfortable and really annoyed. It was like over really nothing\u2014Kylie wouldn\u2019t have done anything. She could have just come up and talked to me, and I would just get really annoyed. I think it was coming to terms with the fact that everything\u2019s so different. You know, at eight years old, you don\u2019t really know how to cope with that\u2014I would get frustrated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talked to Tammy and my dad about it. I was telling them because they noticed I would get frustrated. I think it was the fact that you\u2019re changing roles\u2014you are having to blend the two families, so your parents are changing their parenting type. The only way I could deal with all that, and take it all in, was I would get annoyed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found out that, when I came back from my mom\u2019s house, I would have to be by myself for an hour or two and kind of like switch gears back to: \u201cOkay, our life isn\u2019t the same anymore,\u201d and that kind of thing. That kind of helped me cope with it, but a lot of talking with the parents helped too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s great \/ that\u2019s wonderful. I think that\u2019s really insightful\u2014the idea that you needed an adjustment period\u2014some grace space.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, you kind of figured that out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So what do you guys think?\u2014let me just ask this open question: \u201cWhat do you wish stepparents understood about being you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>I would probably say\u2014one thing that I really would like stepparents to understand is\u2014it\u2019s kind of a gain for you; but it\u2019s a loss for the kids because\u2014for all of us, up until the time where you get remarried\u2014we still have this fantasy \/ this dream of: \u201cMaybe my parents will get back together.\u201d Regardless of whether the parent is still alive or not, that fantasy still exists because you\u2019re still the dad or mom, and they are still the dad or mom, or whatever. It\u2019s a loss for the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to come across times where they just aren\u2019t going to accept you or whatever for probably several years. You\u2019re just going to have to be okay with it because there\u2019s really nothing that you can do until they accept you. You have to be open and be willing to be whatever they need you to be until that time comes where you can become what they need. It\u2019s really just kind of a loss\u2014period.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>So, essentially, I hear you saying to the stepparents: \u201cBe patient with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>\u201cWe\u2019re trying to figure it out, and we\u2019re trying to get there. Sorry, but it just takes us awhile.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>Yes, I would totally agree. I would say: \u201cJust give us a minute. Don\u2019t take it personally.\u201d I mean, you just heard me describe my mom\u2019s husband\u2014I give him the utmost praise of who he is, as a person; but just the idea of him was what I had to\u2014\u201cJust give me a minute.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Wow. Distinguish between <em>the idea<\/em> of him versus who <em>he is<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s not necessarily personal. Yes\u2014it\u2019s adjusting to the whole concept \/ the idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWas there anything about becoming a stepchild or even your life now\u2014after some period of time\u2014that is <em>easy <\/em>for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenifer: <\/strong>I\u2019ll speak to that. I was an only child. My mom\u2019s husband had two children. He had actually been divorced a lot longer than my mom had been\u2014he\u2019d been divorced for 11 years before he met my mom. His two children were very\u2014more into the idea of it all and just kind of used to life \/ the new normal that they had\u2014but when I met them, it was just strange to think\u2014for a long time, my husband would tease me and say, \u201cYour brother and your sister\u2026\u201d I would always get mad because I was like: \u201cI don\u2019t have a brother or sister! I\u2019m an only child\u2014uuhh!\u201d [Laughter] There\u2019s the immaturity! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, now, it\u2019s been ten years; and I love them <em>so much<\/em>. I\u2019m proud to call them my brother and sister. Now that I have a son and they have kids, it\u2019s so fun for me that my son has an aunt, and an uncle, and cousins. [Applause] I love\u2014I get so excited on holidays because I know that we\u2019re all going to be together. I look so forward to spending time with all of them. So it\u2019s made this new element of family\u2014that I never had, growing up\u2014which was sharing holidays with brothers, and sisters, and cousins, and all of the extended family that you have. I love that for my son\u2014that he now has that element to his life as well\u2014that he would not have had before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>I completely agree with you. My stepsister, Kylie\u2014I could not imagine life without her right now. Through high school, she was my support\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I could always go to her. At the beginning, it was really rough \/ for a few years, it was really rough\u2014but literally, after that seven-year mark, we all started to kind of just mesh together\u2014and we all found our little spaces in the family. It really is a beautiful thing now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou had asked a question about \u201cbehind closed doors.\u201d Well, literally, we are the <em>craziest<\/em> people behind closed doors\u2014we goof off <em>all the time<\/em>\u2014it is great. When the parents go upstairs, all the kids\u2014stepsisters\/stepbrothers\u2014we all mesh well together, and we crack each other up. It\u2019s really, really nice <em>now<\/em> that we\u2019ve gone through all this; and we\u2019ve had all that to relate together to. I wouldn\u2019t trade it for the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>That\u2019s what I would call promised-land payoffs; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily: <\/strong>Yes. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Thank you guys for joining us. Thanks for being here. [Applause] Would you please thank them for coming up \/ their courage? [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, again, what we\u2019ve been listening to was a conversation between Ron Deal and three young adults, all of whom grew up in blended families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s hope for those folks who are in the middle of a blended family right now\u2014and the kids aren\u2019t getting along, and they\u2019re not happy with the circumstances, and they\u2019re\u2014whatever they\u2019re processing emotionally\u2014there is hope. God can do a work in the midst of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He can; and in fact, that\u2019s what Jesus Christ is all about. He is about redeeming broken people. Certainly, those who are in blended families, whether children or whether adults, are not exempt from needing redemption as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, this year, at the Blended and Blessed Summit\u2014the third annual summit like this that we\u2019ve held\u2014it\u2019s going to be in southern California\u2014we\u2019re going to feature a certain portion of the content and the time there talking to churches and church leaders about how they can minister to the youth that are growing up in blended families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. We\u2019re hoping that, alongside folks who have a primary interest in blended families, there will be a lot of youth pastors and student ministry leaders who will join us for this event because a lot of the young people, who are showing up in youth groups all across the country, are young people like the young man and the young women we\u2019ve heard from today\u2014they\u2019re in the midst of this \/ they\u2019re dealing with loss, and with fear, and with guilt, and confusion, and sadness. For you to know how you can apply the gospel in their lives\u2014knowing what they\u2019re going through\u2014we think it will be really beneficial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe event\u2019s taking place at Mariner\u2019s Church in Irvine, California, November 13<sup>th<\/sup> and 14<sup>th<\/sup>. There\u2019ll be folks traveling from all across the country to be a part of the Blended and Blessed Summit. You can get more information about how you can attend by going to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d Look for the link for the Blended and Blessed 2015 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call if you have any questions: 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that Ron Deal\u2014who heads FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u2122<\/sup> and who we heard from today\u2014has written a small book for teenagers called <em>Life in a Blender<\/em>, where he addresses what he calls \u201cThe Big Five\u201d\u2014the challenges that children in blended families often experience. You can order a copy of <em>Life in a Blender<\/em>, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information. That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know\u2014 one of the things we have come to recognize, here at FamilyLife, is that marriage and family is an international language\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014it\u2019s something that doesn\u2019t matter where you live, it doesn\u2019t matter how you grew up, it doesn\u2019t matter the cultural differences that may exist between you and your neighbor. Relationships all have some common elements. There are some common challenges that face husbands and wives, moms and dads, folks in a first-time marriage, folks who are in a blended marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife, our goal is to offer help. We believe that the Bible speaks to the issue of relationships\u2014talks first about our relationship with God and then, second, about our relationships with one another, flowing out of a healthy relationship with God. That\u2019s our focus here\u2014is to provide practical biblical help for marriages and families. Whatever the situation you\u2019re in, we want to be a source for that kind of help. We trust that that\u2019s what we\u2019re providing each day on this radio program. Those of you who are visit our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, we trust that you\u2019re finding the help you need there\u2014the articles \/ the resources we have. Those of you who order materials from us, we trust that you\u2019re finding those helpful as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to thank those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>possible. More than two-thirds of the money that we need to operate this ministry comes from folks, like you, making donations so that we can be here each day. If you can help out with a donation right now, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a couple of books that we think will be very helpful for you, as husbands and wives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to send you Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, the hardback, and we\u2019re also going to send you the <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design<\/em> book from Mary Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss. And I should add\u2014this is not about the interior design of your home\u2014it\u2019s about the interior design of your heart, as a woman. So there\u2019s a book for guys, and there\u2019s a book for ladies. They\u2019re our gift to you when you make a donation today to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d ask that it be a donation of at least $50 or more. You can make your donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE.\u201d Make your online donation, and request the resources. Or ask for the two books when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make a donation over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou could also mail your donation to us and request the books. Send your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. The zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to take you into a recent FamilyLife staff meeting. We got our whole team together and had a chance to visit with singer and songwriter, Jeremy Camp. We\u2019ll hear a part of his story on tomorrow\u2019s program. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303519","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303519"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303519"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303519"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303519"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303519"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303519"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303519"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}