{"id":303517,"date":"2015-06-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-06-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/stepmoms-and-stepdads\/"},"modified":"2015-06-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-06-01T15:00:00","slug":"stepmoms-and-stepdads","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/stepmoms-and-stepdads\/","title":{"rendered":"Stepmoms and Stepdads"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Feeling like stepparenting is just not your thing?  Laura Petherbridge, and Gordon Taylor are here to offer hope. Laura and Gordon tell their stories and offer advice for blended families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-01.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.89M","filesize_raw":"29249237","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2882,2858],"tags":[2585,5675,5652,5674,2209,4633,5673,4509],"podcast_series":[8082],"cwp_profile":[9387,3308],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303517","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-developing-a-relationship-with-stepchildren","category-stepparenting-skills","tag-blended-family","tag-blended-family-advice","tag-blended-family-problems","tag-child-discipline","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-skills","tag-parenting-tips","tag-step-parenting","podcast_series-step-parenting-wisdom","cwp_profile-gordon-taylor","cwp_profile-laura-petherbridge","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303517\/stepmoms-and-stepdads","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303517\/stepmoms-and-stepdads","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"4nRtz1RgYA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/stepmoms-and-stepdads\/\">Stepmoms and Stepdads<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/stepmoms-and-stepdads\/embed\/#?secret=4nRtz1RgYA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Stepmoms and Stepdads&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"4nRtz1RgYA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-01.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-01.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If Laura Petherbridge was sitting down with a woman who was about to become a stepmom for the first time, what kind of counsel would she give to her?\u2014here\u2019s Laura.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> You are not going to believe everything I\u2019m going to tell you right now. You\u2019re going to think I\u2019m being very negative if you\u2019re not already in a stepfamily, or you\u2019re not going to think this is going to affect you. This is going to be more complex than you think it is going to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChildren of divorce and children of death are hurting \/ they are grieving. Their grief takes longer than adults \/ it comes out in different ways than adults\u2014so just get some resources \/ keep educating yourself. You spend thousands of dollars on a wedding\u2014make sure you keep spending that much on a marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>for Monday, June 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We have some very helpful coaching tips today for stepmoms and stepdads. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Has anybody told you that you are a great interviewer recently? I wish our listeners could have seen my cohort here, Bob Lepine, in action at the National Religious Broadcasters in Nashville. He emceed and interviewed\u2014he must have had <em>50 <\/em>different assignments over a period of four or five days\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014when you go from interviewing Eric Metaxas one day to interviewing Chuck Norris the next day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wish you folks could have heard the interview that Bob did right before I spoke. Eric Metaxas was in rare form. He was <em>selling the tar<\/em> out of his book\u2014and bad-mouthing us that we wouldn\u2019t\u2019 have him on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014trying to get a fight out of me, as I was getting ready to come up to speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wouldn\u2019t take the bait.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t go for the bait because I didn\u2019t have the time, in my message, to do it. You\u2019re not going to hear that message today, but you are going to hear a great interview that Bob Lepine did at the Blended and Blessed\u2122 Summit almost a year ago\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014in Washington D.C.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you think there\u2019s any dramatic difference between being a biological mom and being a stepmom?\u2014being a biological dad and being a stepdad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Pause] Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had to pause and think about that? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I just wanted to make sure I understood the question because it was like, \u201cOh yes,\u201d\u2014I mean, what a challenge. I have to say honestly\u2014those of you who are listeners right now\u2014and there are a ton of you who are \/ who are in blended families\u2014I have to tell you\u2014my hat goes off to you as to how you do what you do because it\u2019s a challenge to make a marriage work and a family work, at the same time, in those conditions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We were gathered in Washington, D.C., with about 200 people, who are engaged in ministry specifically aimed at blended families\/stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe decided to explore the challenges that stepmoms and stepdads face and had the chance to talk to Laura Petherbridge\u2014who\u2019s written the book, <em>The Smart Stepmom<\/em>\u2014and also Gordon Taylor, who has spent years as a stepdad and has done workshops on the subject. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe should mention to our listeners we have a Blended and Blessed event coming up this fall. It\u2019s going to be November 13<sup>th<\/sup> and 14<sup>th<\/sup> at Mariners Church in Irvine, California. If our listeners would like more information about the upcoming Blended and Blessed Summit\u2014if you have a heart to work with blended families \/ if you would like to get engaged in that kind of ministry\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the link for the Blended and Blessed Summit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re doing that, let\u2019s listen together to the conversation we had with Laura Petherbridge and Gordon Taylor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Blended and Blessed Summit Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want to talk about the challenges that stepmoms and stepdads experience and want to talk about the kind of counsel that you give to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLaura let me ask you first to share your own journey as a stepparent. Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes. Well, I grew up having two stepmoms\u2014my dad remarried two more times after the divorce from my mom. So, when my husband asked me to marry him, he had two sons, 11 and 13. I figured: \u201cI\u2019ve had two stepmoms. Certainly, that has taught me how to be a stepmom,\u201d\u2014that was just na\u00efve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been married almost 29 years. We did survive that, but it was <em>so much<\/em> more challenging than I thought it was going to be. It just took me by surprise. I truly was <em>ambushed<\/em> by how complicated\u2014I just wanted to love these kids \/ I just wanted to tell them about Jesus. I was a child of divorce\u2014so I wanted to bind up their wounds \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Psalm 147:3]. It was just so much more complicated than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gordon, how about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Well, my journey started when my first marriage broke up. I was a single parent\u2014stayed at the house \/ raised three teenage boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some advantages to being single because, when we dropped a towel, we knew it\u2019d be there three days later. [Laughter] But nobody starved\u2014we kept the four basic food groups: frozen, instant, rotten, and spoiled. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring that time, I was loved out of the church that I had grown up in. Fortunately, God hangs out in a lot of places\u2014I found a singles group \/ I went through divorce recovery. I led the singles group, as a lay minister. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of nine years, Carri and I met and remarried. That\u2019s when the chaos started\u2014inherited a 14-year-old stepdaughter. During that period of time, she led us on a wild chase, obviously; but during that period of time was real growth orientation for me. Then, during that time, my stepdaughter became pregnant\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014presented us with a granddaughter\u2014so I was thrown\u2014not only into the stepdad role but the stepgrandparent role\u2014raising this child. She just\u2014about two years ago, she left our home, finally. At that point in time, I had been parenting, with kids in the house, for 51 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crowd:<\/strong> [Exclaims]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Not well, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> A special place in heaven for you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Exactly\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crowd:<\/strong> [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> But all of this\u2014in a word is\u2014we really like the Principle of Inclusiveness: \u201cWe want to <em>include<\/em> everybody.\u201d That has included Carri\u2019s ex, his two ex-wives, her daughter that she adopted out, and her six kids\u2014so the stepfamily just keeps growing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a client, the other day, turn and look at me and said, \u201cDo things ever get better?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I said, \u201cNo, [Laughter] but you can get stronger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> That\u2019s what we\u2019re about\u2014the education and the support that we need from the church but from each other as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you as blindsided, as Laura was, by the challenges that being a stepdad brought?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> The intensity was a surprise. The complexity was a surprise. And the concept of time\u2014this is one thing that I think the stepfamily really misses\u2014we want things to happen instantly, and they\u2019re not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> So somebody said, \u201cYou grow a pumpkin in two months \/ an oak tree in twenty years.\u201d So we\u2019re developing and growing our stepfamily tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Laura, do you remember when it first hit you that this was going to be more complex than you imagined?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> About day five. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; pretty quick. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes, it just\u2014you know\u2014but I can tell you\u2014I\u2019m frequently asked, \u201cWhen did it sort of turn a corner?\u201d I will say that, for me, the moment the epiphany \/ the change came when I recognized that\u2014to Steve\u2019s two sons, I am their father\u2019s wife \/ I am not really <em>related<\/em> to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t love them \/ it doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t love me\u2014but to them, I am their <em>father\u2019s wife<\/em>. When that became okay\u2014when I stopped trying to be something to them other than what they <em>wanted<\/em> me to be\u2014and that that wasn\u2019t a bad thing. That wasn\u2019t\u2014the church doesn\u2019t get that. If I was in a group of people, who weren\u2019t stepfamily-related, they would think that it was <em>horrible<\/em> for me to say that. But stepfamilies get what that means\u2014it\u2019s not saying something negative \/ it is reality, and it is okay. They have a mother\u2014they don\u2019t need another one\u2014so that was the acceptance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I had one of you here share with me yesterday\u2014overhead somebody at work\u2014a young woman, 28, never married. She\u2019s about to get married to a guy who\u2019s got two kids. One of you said you went to her and said, \u201cYou know, do you think you\u2019re ready?\u201d She said: \u201cOh, I\u2019m ready. I know I\u2019m going to hear, \u2018You\u2019re not my mom.\u2019 I\u2019m ready for that.\u201d Most people go into it, imaging they\u2019re ready \/ thinking, \u201cI can do this.\u201d Why is it so much more difficult, Gordon, than we imagine it\u2019s going to be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Well, number one\u2014and Carri loves this\u2014she says, \u201cWhen you\u2019re in love, you are brain dead,\u201d\u2014you are, literally, on a cocaine-high, according to Daniel Amos [uncertain as to spelling]. We literally fake ourselves out\u2014what we want <em>so badly<\/em>, we are afraid to take the time. We\u2019re big into education\/preparation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur passion is remarried preparation\u2014not for first marriages but for us that are experiencing remarriage\u2014so that you can actually go into it with some semblance of reality and get your expectations down where we can handle them. The experience gets a chance to meet those expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, Laura, if you\u2019re sitting down with that 28-year-old woman about to become a stepmom, and a wife, for the first time\u2014and you\u2019re going to give her just kind of some basic wisdom \/ you\u2019ve got three minutes\u2014here\u2019s what you are going to tell her \/ what are you going to tell her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> \u201cRun, Forrest, run!\u201d [Laughter] Actually, what I would say is: \u201cYou are not going to believe everything I\u2019m going to tell you right now. You\u2019re going to think I\u2019m being very negative if you\u2019re not already in a stepfamily, or you\u2019re not going to think this is going to affect you. In a couple of months you\u2019ll go, \u2018Okay, now, I know what she was talking about.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I just share with them: \u201cThis is going to be more complex than you think it is going to be. Children of divorce and children of death are hurting \/ they are grieving. Their grief takes longer than adults \/ it comes out in different ways than adults\u2014so just get some resources \/ keep educating yourself. You spend thousands of dollars on a wedding\u2014make sure you keep spending that much on a marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, one of the reasons you get faked out is because, prior to the wedding, those kids, who you describe as grieving, seem like, they are crazy about you coming into the family\u2014they are so excited! So, you think: \u201cThis is going to work <em>great<\/em> because they really want me here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> And it\u2019s even <em>adult <\/em>stepkids\u2014so many people think this is only when they\u2019re little\u2014but adult stepkids\u2014I mean, they will be, outwardly, weeping\/wailing during the wedding ceremony. That\u2019s because they realize that, to some degree, they are losing their parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe child\u2014adult or little\u2014has to be moved to the backseat to make room for that new spouse. If the biological parent doesn\u2019t move that child to the backseat\u2014now notice, I didn\u2019t say into the trunk but into the backseat\u2014then the marriage will not survive. So, they know they are losing their parent, in some way, to this new marriage. That\u2019s why they\u2019re grieving\u2014the reality hits them: \u201cHoly moly! This was more than I thought was going to happen!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> There is literally a book\u2014that title of which is <em>The Wedding Was Great, [But] When Does Chuck [Leave]?<\/em>\u2014and that\u2019s the reality. My stepdaughter\u2014she helped me make the big sign\u2014\u201cCarri, will you marry me?\u201d She wanted me to marry her mom; but the day of the wedding, we have pictures that show what you\u2019ve just said\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the illustration. We encourage people to go home and look at your wedding pictures\u2014but look at the children\u2019s faces because the reality of what you are talking about <em>really<\/em> sets in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Does it just not hit them, until the wedding, what is really happening?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> I think so. Sometimes, we adults get faked out because, to us, it\u2019s the joining of a partner\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cOh I\u2019m excited! I\u2019m going to be a couple again and married,\u201d\u2014to the kid\u2014it\u2019s just another readjustment \/ another displacement that you are describing. All of a sudden, the reality comes in: \u201cOh boy! Where do I belong?\u201d And the principle is that anytime anybody leaves or enters the stepsystem, then everybody in the system needs to adapt and adjust to that\u2014and the kids\u2014lot of awareness \/ low coping skills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Laura, what did you have to learn; and how long did it take you to learn it for that paradigm shift to happen in your family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Well, I was probably remarried maybe eight years when I started working on some of my own issues. The thing that often surprises us when we get remarried is it often triggers our own childhood pain. I had no idea that I had baggage from my own parents\u2019 divorce. I actually had blamed myself for my parents\u2019 divorce. I didn\u2019t know it until I was way into my 30s and 40s and got some counseling\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and recognized that I had some childhood wounds \/ some childhood pain that I had never known or dealt with. Being a stepmom, watching grieving kids, triggered that pain. I\u2019ve now found out that\u2019s fairly common.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> But it started coming out in different ways in my life. I got some therapy \/ I got some counseling and recognized that, until I healed the \u201cdaddy wound\u201d \/ the \u201cmommy wound\u201d in my own soul, I was never going to become a smart stepmom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gordon, what about the turning point in your relationship with your stepdaughter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> One big eureka for us was temperament identification\u2014where we found her temperament and my temperament\u2014I was the rule-keeper \/ she was the rule-breaker\u2014\u201cWell, she was irresponsible,\u201d you know\u2014I had her labeled and everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut as we got to know each other\u2014and this is a characteristic of the stepfamily\u2014that you\u2019re living with people that you don\u2019t know and you\u2019re not related to\u2014and yet there\u2019s a tension: \u201cI\u2019m supposed to be loving, and caring, and all of this; but where is that line of caring as a father, but I\u2019m not her father?\u201d So, the idea of learning, and just being open, and humble enough to where I, as a man\u2014maybe you guys can relate to this\u2014I didn\u2019t have to fix everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI heard one guy, one time, say that: \u201cIf you\u2019re leading and no one\u2019s following, you\u2019re just out for a walk anyway.\u201d [Laughter] Jesus was the <em>servant leader<\/em>\u2014so that helped to be my model of coming in a sacrificial way and a serving way instead of fixing this crew.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gordon, you work with the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you were to give counsel to pastors, and churches, and denominations about how they handle something like this\u2014I\u2019m thinking of a pastor who has 150\/200 people in his church\u2014and he says: \u201cI think we have three or four stepcouples in our church. What do I do?\u201d What would you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Well, first of all, raise your awareness a bit. Your congregation is probably closer to 50 percent stepfamilies. Be open to it\u2014being educated\u2014and above all, and this was my problem that I had to deal with when I first got divorced\u2014the first question I asked was: \u201cCould I be a Christian and be divorced?\u2014let alone remarried?\u201d The theology, hopefully, must wrap around that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI loved Dave Wilson yesterday\u2014he just hit it right on the nose that the church shoots its own wounded, but we need to incorporate them into the body. When I ran the singles group, our mission was to reintegrate singles and remarrieds back into the church life and the body of the church because there\u2019s so much to give. In the Bible that I read, everyone has come short.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe pastor\u2014and we really encourage the <em>senior<\/em> pastor to preach it from the pulpit because then you get this tension between God\u2019s ideal\u2014the paradigm of a first marriage\u2014and the reality of where all of us live in stepfamily land.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Final thought you\u2019d have for pastors \/ church leaders\u2014who have you seen doing it well and you\u2019d say, \u201cDo something like this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes, I have just liked what Pastor Dave said yesterday. I\u2019ve seen churches that do it really well and churches that just refuse. It can become discouraging. My encouragement would be: \u201cYou know, when we say divorce or remarriage is bigger than the price Christ paid to forgive us, we are saying that divorce is more powerful than the blood of Christ.\u201d It\u2019s really what we\u2019re saying\u2014that divorce is the only thing that\u2019s more powerful than what Jesus paid to forgive us\u2014we have to get rid of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to get rid of that because our Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page for stepmoms [http:\/\/facebook.com\/SisterhoodofStepmoms]\u2014I would say we\u2019re up to 2,000\u2014at least, half are un-churched. It\u2019s an untapped mission field\u2014the church has <em>got<\/em> to wake up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you thank these folks? Thank Gordon and Laura for their help. We appreciate you guys. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was a robust conversation, listening back to dialogue we had with Laura Petherbridge and Gordon Taylor at the Blended and Blessed Summit that was held in Washington, D.C., last October. These needs are real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that was a great reminder, Bob, that: \u201cYou know what? We\u2019re all broken \/ that life is all about redemption. You have to find redemption at the foot of the cross and then begin to experience it, over a lifetime, after you place your faith in Christ to save you from your sins. You\u2019ve got to experience that redemption <em>regardless<\/em> of what kind of marriage and family that you\u2019re in.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s just a good reminder that: \u201cYou know what? We just need to embrace the assignment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what I like about the Blended and Blessed ministry\u2014it produces hope for people who are outside the faith and really maybe haven\u2019t even come to church because they feel like they may be condemned because they\u2014perhaps they may have failed in a marriage, or they\u2019re in a blended family and just feel like there\u2019s a label to that\u2014that is kind of negative. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what we\u2019re trying to do, here at FamilyLife, is produce some hope and apply the Scriptures liberally and some grace to people who are in these situations\u2014who need help, they need hope, and they need training. Ron Deal and this Blended and Blessed Summit that\u2019s going to be in Irvine in November\u2014Bob, I think it\u2019s going to do a great job of doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t know of anyone else who is really focusing on this issue as clearly as Ron Deal is and as we\u2019re trying to do, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis summit is a great opportunity for folks who have interest, passion, concern\/care in this area to find out what resources are available and how we can begin to help folks around us who are in blended families. Or, if you\u2019re in a blended family yourself, how you can help yourself and others have a strong, healthy, thriving marriage and family relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to find out more about the Blended and Blessed Summit on stepfamily ministry, it\u2019s going to be taking place November 13<sup>th<\/sup> and 14<sup>th<\/sup> at Mariners Church in Irvine, California. For more information, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the link for the Blended and Blessed Summit. You can sign up now to attend. Or maybe you want to forward this information on to someone you know who would be interested in this event. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for information about the Blended and Blessed Summit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere will also be information on our website about resources available to help stepfamilies, including Laura Petherbridge\u2019s book, <em>The Smart Stepmom<\/em>, which she wrote, together with Ron Deal. Then there\u2019s Ron\u2019s book, <em>The Smart Stepdad<\/em>, as well, and the video on the smart stepfamily. Lots of resources we have for you if you\u2019re looking for help in this area in building a strong, healthy stepfamily. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I had to boil down what our goal is, here at FamilyLife, into a word\u2014the word would be \u201chelp.\u201d We exist to provide practical biblical help for marriages and for families. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about effectively developing godly families\u2014that\u2019s our goal \/ that\u2019s our mission. We are enabled in that mission by folks, like you, who see the value of what we\u2019re doing either because you\u2019ve experienced it personally or because you recognize how important this issue is in our culture today. You have pitched in to help make this radio program and all of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for your support, whether you make an occasional contribution or you\u2019ve joined with us as one of our Legacy Partners\u2014thank you for the part that you play. If you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a pair of books designed to help men and women understand exactly what God has in mind for us, as men and as women. One book is the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, by Dennis Rainey \/ the other is <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design<\/em> book written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian. These books are our thank-you gift to you when you are able to help with a donation today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are asking that that be a donation of at least $50. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d\u2014make an online donation. Or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Make a donation over the phone and ask for the books for men and women when you do that so we\u2019ll know to send them out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. And again, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you\u2019re able to do and for your continued support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk to three young people, who grew up in stepfamilies\u2014about the experience of being a part of a blended family. You\u2019ll hear from them tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.89M"],"filesize_raw":["29249237"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303517.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303517.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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like stepparenting is just not your thing? Laura Petherbridge, and Gordon Taylor are here to offer hope. Laura and Gordon tell their stories and offer advice for blended families.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-06-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If Laura Petherbridge was sitting down with a woman who was about to become a stepmom for the first time, what kind of counsel would she give to her?\u2014here\u2019s Laura.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> You are not going to believe everything I\u2019m going to tell you right now. You\u2019re going to think I\u2019m being very negative if you\u2019re not already in a stepfamily, or you\u2019re not going to think this is going to affect you. This is going to be more complex than you think it is going to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChildren of divorce and children of death are hurting \/ they are grieving. Their grief takes longer than adults \/ it comes out in different ways than adults\u2014so just get some resources \/ keep educating yourself. You spend thousands of dollars on a wedding\u2014make sure you keep spending that much on a marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>for Monday, June 1<sup>st<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We have some very helpful coaching tips today for stepmoms and stepdads. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Has anybody told you that you are a great interviewer recently? I wish our listeners could have seen my cohort here, Bob Lepine, in action at the National Religious Broadcasters in Nashville. He emceed and interviewed\u2014he must have had <em>50 <\/em>different assignments over a period of four or five days\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014when you go from interviewing Eric Metaxas one day to interviewing Chuck Norris the next day. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I wish you folks could have heard the interview that Bob did right before I spoke. Eric Metaxas was in rare form. He was <em>selling the tar<\/em> out of his book\u2014and bad-mouthing us that we wouldn\u2019t\u2019 have him on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014trying to get a fight out of me, as I was getting ready to come up to speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wouldn\u2019t take the bait.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t go for the bait because I didn\u2019t have the time, in my message, to do it. You\u2019re not going to hear that message today, but you are going to hear a great interview that Bob Lepine did at the Blended and Blessed\u2122 Summit almost a year ago\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014in Washington D.C.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you think there\u2019s any dramatic difference between being a biological mom and being a stepmom?\u2014being a biological dad and being a stepdad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Pause] Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had to pause and think about that? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I just wanted to make sure I understood the question because it was like, \u201cOh yes,\u201d\u2014I mean, what a challenge. I have to say honestly\u2014those of you who are listeners right now\u2014and there are a ton of you who are \/ who are in blended families\u2014I have to tell you\u2014my hat goes off to you as to how you do what you do because it\u2019s a challenge to make a marriage work and a family work, at the same time, in those conditions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We were gathered in Washington, D.C., with about 200 people, who are engaged in ministry specifically aimed at blended families\/stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe decided to explore the challenges that stepmoms and stepdads face and had the chance to talk to Laura Petherbridge\u2014who\u2019s written the book, <em>The Smart Stepmom<\/em>\u2014and also Gordon Taylor, who has spent years as a stepdad and has done workshops on the subject. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe should mention to our listeners we have a Blended and Blessed event coming up this fall. It\u2019s going to be November 13<sup>th<\/sup> and 14<sup>th<\/sup> at Mariners Church in Irvine, California. If our listeners would like more information about the upcoming Blended and Blessed Summit\u2014if you have a heart to work with blended families \/ if you would like to get engaged in that kind of ministry\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the link for the Blended and Blessed Summit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re doing that, let\u2019s listen together to the conversation we had with Laura Petherbridge and Gordon Taylor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Blended and Blessed Summit Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We want to talk about the challenges that stepmoms and stepdads experience and want to talk about the kind of counsel that you give to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLaura let me ask you first to share your own journey as a stepparent. Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes. Well, I grew up having two stepmoms\u2014my dad remarried two more times after the divorce from my mom. So, when my husband asked me to marry him, he had two sons, 11 and 13. I figured: \u201cI\u2019ve had two stepmoms. Certainly, that has taught me how to be a stepmom,\u201d\u2014that was just na\u00efve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been married almost 29 years. We did survive that, but it was <em>so much<\/em> more challenging than I thought it was going to be. It just took me by surprise. I truly was <em>ambushed<\/em> by how complicated\u2014I just wanted to love these kids \/ I just wanted to tell them about Jesus. I was a child of divorce\u2014so I wanted to bind up their wounds \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Psalm 147:3]. It was just so much more complicated than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gordon, how about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Well, my journey started when my first marriage broke up. I was a single parent\u2014stayed at the house \/ raised three teenage boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some advantages to being single because, when we dropped a towel, we knew it\u2019d be there three days later. [Laughter] But nobody starved\u2014we kept the four basic food groups: frozen, instant, rotten, and spoiled. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring that time, I was loved out of the church that I had grown up in. Fortunately, God hangs out in a lot of places\u2014I found a singles group \/ I went through divorce recovery. I led the singles group, as a lay minister. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of nine years, Carri and I met and remarried. That\u2019s when the chaos started\u2014inherited a 14-year-old stepdaughter. During that period of time, she led us on a wild chase, obviously; but during that period of time was real growth orientation for me. Then, during that time, my stepdaughter became pregnant\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014presented us with a granddaughter\u2014so I was thrown\u2014not only into the stepdad role but the stepgrandparent role\u2014raising this child. She just\u2014about two years ago, she left our home, finally. At that point in time, I had been parenting, with kids in the house, for 51 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crowd:<\/strong> [Exclaims]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Not well, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> A special place in heaven for you; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Exactly\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crowd:<\/strong> [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> But all of this\u2014in a word is\u2014we really like the Principle of Inclusiveness: \u201cWe want to <em>include<\/em> everybody.\u201d That has included Carri\u2019s ex, his two ex-wives, her daughter that she adopted out, and her six kids\u2014so the stepfamily just keeps growing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a client, the other day, turn and look at me and said, \u201cDo things ever get better?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I said, \u201cNo, [Laughter] but you can get stronger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> That\u2019s what we\u2019re about\u2014the education and the support that we need from the church but from each other as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you as blindsided, as Laura was, by the challenges that being a stepdad brought?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> The intensity was a surprise. The complexity was a surprise. And the concept of time\u2014this is one thing that I think the stepfamily really misses\u2014we want things to happen instantly, and they\u2019re not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> So somebody said, \u201cYou grow a pumpkin in two months \/ an oak tree in twenty years.\u201d So we\u2019re developing and growing our stepfamily tree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Laura, do you remember when it first hit you that this was going to be more complex than you imagined?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> About day five. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; pretty quick. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes, it just\u2014you know\u2014but I can tell you\u2014I\u2019m frequently asked, \u201cWhen did it sort of turn a corner?\u201d I will say that, for me, the moment the epiphany \/ the change came when I recognized that\u2014to Steve\u2019s two sons, I am their father\u2019s wife \/ I am not really <em>related<\/em> to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t love them \/ it doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t love me\u2014but to them, I am their <em>father\u2019s wife<\/em>. When that became okay\u2014when I stopped trying to be something to them other than what they <em>wanted<\/em> me to be\u2014and that that wasn\u2019t a bad thing. That wasn\u2019t\u2014the church doesn\u2019t get that. If I was in a group of people, who weren\u2019t stepfamily-related, they would think that it was <em>horrible<\/em> for me to say that. But stepfamilies get what that means\u2014it\u2019s not saying something negative \/ it is reality, and it is okay. They have a mother\u2014they don\u2019t need another one\u2014so that was the acceptance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I had one of you here share with me yesterday\u2014overhead somebody at work\u2014a young woman, 28, never married. She\u2019s about to get married to a guy who\u2019s got two kids. One of you said you went to her and said, \u201cYou know, do you think you\u2019re ready?\u201d She said: \u201cOh, I\u2019m ready. I know I\u2019m going to hear, \u2018You\u2019re not my mom.\u2019 I\u2019m ready for that.\u201d Most people go into it, imaging they\u2019re ready \/ thinking, \u201cI can do this.\u201d Why is it so much more difficult, Gordon, than we imagine it\u2019s going to be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Well, number one\u2014and Carri loves this\u2014she says, \u201cWhen you\u2019re in love, you are brain dead,\u201d\u2014you are, literally, on a cocaine-high, according to Daniel Amos [uncertain as to spelling]. We literally fake ourselves out\u2014what we want <em>so badly<\/em>, we are afraid to take the time. We\u2019re big into education\/preparation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur passion is remarried preparation\u2014not for first marriages but for us that are experiencing remarriage\u2014so that you can actually go into it with some semblance of reality and get your expectations down where we can handle them. The experience gets a chance to meet those expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, Laura, if you\u2019re sitting down with that 28-year-old woman about to become a stepmom, and a wife, for the first time\u2014and you\u2019re going to give her just kind of some basic wisdom \/ you\u2019ve got three minutes\u2014here\u2019s what you are going to tell her \/ what are you going to tell her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> \u201cRun, Forrest, run!\u201d [Laughter] Actually, what I would say is: \u201cYou are not going to believe everything I\u2019m going to tell you right now. You\u2019re going to think I\u2019m being very negative if you\u2019re not already in a stepfamily, or you\u2019re not going to think this is going to affect you. In a couple of months you\u2019ll go, \u2018Okay, now, I know what she was talking about.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I just share with them: \u201cThis is going to be more complex than you think it is going to be. Children of divorce and children of death are hurting \/ they are grieving. Their grief takes longer than adults \/ it comes out in different ways than adults\u2014so just get some resources \/ keep educating yourself. You spend thousands of dollars on a wedding\u2014make sure you keep spending that much on a marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, one of the reasons you get faked out is because, prior to the wedding, those kids, who you describe as grieving, seem like, they are crazy about you coming into the family\u2014they are so excited! So, you think: \u201cThis is going to work <em>great<\/em> because they really want me here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> And it\u2019s even <em>adult <\/em>stepkids\u2014so many people think this is only when they\u2019re little\u2014but adult stepkids\u2014I mean, they will be, outwardly, weeping\/wailing during the wedding ceremony. That\u2019s because they realize that, to some degree, they are losing their parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe child\u2014adult or little\u2014has to be moved to the backseat to make room for that new spouse. If the biological parent doesn\u2019t move that child to the backseat\u2014now notice, I didn\u2019t say into the trunk but into the backseat\u2014then the marriage will not survive. So, they know they are losing their parent, in some way, to this new marriage. That\u2019s why they\u2019re grieving\u2014the reality hits them: \u201cHoly moly! This was more than I thought was going to happen!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> There is literally a book\u2014that title of which is <em>The Wedding Was Great, [But] When Does Chuck [Leave]?<\/em>\u2014and that\u2019s the reality. My stepdaughter\u2014she helped me make the big sign\u2014\u201cCarri, will you marry me?\u201d She wanted me to marry her mom; but the day of the wedding, we have pictures that show what you\u2019ve just said\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and the illustration. We encourage people to go home and look at your wedding pictures\u2014but look at the children\u2019s faces because the reality of what you are talking about <em>really<\/em> sets in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Does it just not hit them, until the wedding, what is really happening?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> I think so. Sometimes, we adults get faked out because, to us, it\u2019s the joining of a partner\u2014it\u2019s: \u201cOh I\u2019m excited! I\u2019m going to be a couple again and married,\u201d\u2014to the kid\u2014it\u2019s just another readjustment \/ another displacement that you are describing. All of a sudden, the reality comes in: \u201cOh boy! Where do I belong?\u201d And the principle is that anytime anybody leaves or enters the stepsystem, then everybody in the system needs to adapt and adjust to that\u2014and the kids\u2014lot of awareness \/ low coping skills. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Laura, what did you have to learn; and how long did it take you to learn it for that paradigm shift to happen in your family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Well, I was probably remarried maybe eight years when I started working on some of my own issues. The thing that often surprises us when we get remarried is it often triggers our own childhood pain. I had no idea that I had baggage from my own parents\u2019 divorce. I actually had blamed myself for my parents\u2019 divorce. I didn\u2019t know it until I was way into my 30s and 40s and got some counseling\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and recognized that I had some childhood wounds \/ some childhood pain that I had never known or dealt with. Being a stepmom, watching grieving kids, triggered that pain. I\u2019ve now found out that\u2019s fairly common.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> But it started coming out in different ways in my life. I got some therapy \/ I got some counseling and recognized that, until I healed the \u201cdaddy wound\u201d \/ the \u201cmommy wound\u201d in my own soul, I was never going to become a smart stepmom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gordon, what about the turning point in your relationship with your stepdaughter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> One big eureka for us was temperament identification\u2014where we found her temperament and my temperament\u2014I was the rule-keeper \/ she was the rule-breaker\u2014\u201cWell, she was irresponsible,\u201d you know\u2014I had her labeled and everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut as we got to know each other\u2014and this is a characteristic of the stepfamily\u2014that you\u2019re living with people that you don\u2019t know and you\u2019re not related to\u2014and yet there\u2019s a tension: \u201cI\u2019m supposed to be loving, and caring, and all of this; but where is that line of caring as a father, but I\u2019m not her father?\u201d So, the idea of learning, and just being open, and humble enough to where I, as a man\u2014maybe you guys can relate to this\u2014I didn\u2019t have to fix everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI heard one guy, one time, say that: \u201cIf you\u2019re leading and no one\u2019s following, you\u2019re just out for a walk anyway.\u201d [Laughter] Jesus was the <em>servant leader<\/em>\u2014so that helped to be my model of coming in a sacrificial way and a serving way instead of fixing this crew.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Gordon, you work with the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you were to give counsel to pastors, and churches, and denominations about how they handle something like this\u2014I\u2019m thinking of a pastor who has 150\/200 people in his church\u2014and he says: \u201cI think we have three or four stepcouples in our church. What do I do?\u201d What would you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gordon:<\/strong> Well, first of all, raise your awareness a bit. Your congregation is probably closer to 50 percent stepfamilies. Be open to it\u2014being educated\u2014and above all, and this was my problem that I had to deal with when I first got divorced\u2014the first question I asked was: \u201cCould I be a Christian and be divorced?\u2014let alone remarried?\u201d The theology, hopefully, must wrap around that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI loved Dave Wilson yesterday\u2014he just hit it right on the nose that the church shoots its own wounded, but we need to incorporate them into the body. When I ran the singles group, our mission was to reintegrate singles and remarrieds back into the church life and the body of the church because there\u2019s so much to give. In the Bible that I read, everyone has come short.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe pastor\u2014and we really encourage the <em>senior<\/em> pastor to preach it from the pulpit because then you get this tension between God\u2019s ideal\u2014the paradigm of a first marriage\u2014and the reality of where all of us live in stepfamily land.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Final thought you\u2019d have for pastors \/ church leaders\u2014who have you seen doing it well and you\u2019d say, \u201cDo something like this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong> Yes, I have just liked what Pastor Dave said yesterday. I\u2019ve seen churches that do it really well and churches that just refuse. It can become discouraging. My encouragement would be: \u201cYou know, when we say divorce or remarriage is bigger than the price Christ paid to forgive us, we are saying that divorce is more powerful than the blood of Christ.\u201d It\u2019s really what we\u2019re saying\u2014that divorce is the only thing that\u2019s more powerful than what Jesus paid to forgive us\u2014we have to get rid of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have to get rid of that because our Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> page for stepmoms [http:\/\/facebook.com\/SisterhoodofStepmoms]\u2014I would say we\u2019re up to 2,000\u2014at least, half are un-churched. It\u2019s an untapped mission field\u2014the church has <em>got<\/em> to wake up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you thank these folks? Thank Gordon and Laura for their help. We appreciate you guys. [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was a robust conversation, listening back to dialogue we had with Laura Petherbridge and Gordon Taylor at the Blended and Blessed Summit that was held in Washington, D.C., last October. These needs are real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that was a great reminder, Bob, that: \u201cYou know what? We\u2019re all broken \/ that life is all about redemption. You have to find redemption at the foot of the cross and then begin to experience it, over a lifetime, after you place your faith in Christ to save you from your sins. You\u2019ve got to experience that redemption <em>regardless<\/em> of what kind of marriage and family that you\u2019re in.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s just a good reminder that: \u201cYou know what? We just need to embrace the assignment.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what I like about the Blended and Blessed ministry\u2014it produces hope for people who are outside the faith and really maybe haven\u2019t even come to church because they feel like they may be condemned because they\u2014perhaps they may have failed in a marriage, or they\u2019re in a blended family and just feel like there\u2019s a label to that\u2014that is kind of negative. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what we\u2019re trying to do, here at FamilyLife, is produce some hope and apply the Scriptures liberally and some grace to people who are in these situations\u2014who need help, they need hope, and they need training. Ron Deal and this Blended and Blessed Summit that\u2019s going to be in Irvine in November\u2014Bob, I think it\u2019s going to do a great job of doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t know of anyone else who is really focusing on this issue as clearly as Ron Deal is and as we\u2019re trying to do, here at FamilyLife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis summit is a great opportunity for folks who have interest, passion, concern\/care in this area to find out what resources are available and how we can begin to help folks around us who are in blended families. Or, if you\u2019re in a blended family yourself, how you can help yourself and others have a strong, healthy, thriving marriage and family relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to find out more about the Blended and Blessed Summit on stepfamily ministry, it\u2019s going to be taking place November 13<sup>th<\/sup> and 14<sup>th<\/sup> at Mariners Church in Irvine, California. For more information, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the button that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for the link for the Blended and Blessed Summit. You can sign up now to attend. Or maybe you want to forward this information on to someone you know who would be interested in this event. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and look for information about the Blended and Blessed Summit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere will also be information on our website about resources available to help stepfamilies, including Laura Petherbridge\u2019s book, <em>The Smart Stepmom<\/em>, which she wrote, together with Ron Deal. Then there\u2019s Ron\u2019s book, <em>The Smart Stepdad<\/em>, as well, and the video on the smart stepfamily. Lots of resources we have for you if you\u2019re looking for help in this area in building a strong, healthy stepfamily. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I had to boil down what our goal is, here at FamilyLife, into a word\u2014the word would be \u201chelp.\u201d We exist to provide practical biblical help for marriages and for families. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about effectively developing godly families\u2014that\u2019s our goal \/ that\u2019s our mission. We are enabled in that mission by folks, like you, who see the value of what we\u2019re doing either because you\u2019ve experienced it personally or because you recognize how important this issue is in our culture today. You have pitched in to help make this radio program and all of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for your support, whether you make an occasional contribution or you\u2019ve joined with us as one of our Legacy Partners\u2014thank you for the part that you play. If you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a pair of books designed to help men and women understand exactly what God has in mind for us, as men and as women. One book is the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, by Dennis Rainey \/ the other is <em>True Woman 201: Interior Design<\/em> book written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian. These books are our thank-you gift to you when you are able to help with a donation today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are asking that that be a donation of at least $50. You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper right-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d\u2014make an online donation. Or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Make a donation over the phone and ask for the books for men and women when you do that so we\u2019ll know to send them out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. And again, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you\u2019re able to do and for your continued support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk to three young people, who grew up in stepfamilies\u2014about the experience of being a part of a blended family. You\u2019ll hear from them tomorrow. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303517"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303517"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303517"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303517"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}