{"id":303505,"date":"2015-05-22T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-05-22T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/hope-for-the-troubled-teen\/"},"modified":"2015-05-22T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-05-22T15:00:00","slug":"hope-for-the-troubled-teen","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-for-the-troubled-teen\/","title":{"rendered":"Hope for the Troubled Teen"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jim Subers talks to parents about rebellious and hurting teens. Jim explains that many troubled teens are just looking for answers and have believed lies about themselves and God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.33M","filesize_raw":"25507747","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2841,2839],"tags":[5658,5660,5659,5514,4358,4719,5661,5657],"podcast_series":[8079],"cwp_profile":[9384],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-303505","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-attitude-problems","tag-bootcamp","tag-faith-in-god","tag-substance-abuse","tag-teen-pregnancy","tag-teenage-problems","tag-teenagers","tag-the-word-of-god","tag-troubled-teen-programs","podcast_series-shelterwood","cwp_profile-jim-subers","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/303505\/hope-for-the-troubled-teen","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/303505\/hope-for-the-troubled-teen","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"D36XfHk19D\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-for-the-troubled-teen\/\">Hope for the Troubled Teen<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-for-the-troubled-teen\/embed\/#?secret=D36XfHk19D\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Hope for the Troubled Teen&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"D36XfHk19D\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is not unusual for a teenager to push back on parental authority. Here\u2019s Jim Subers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>There\u2019s no perfect kid \/ there is no perfect parent; but when it gets to a situation where in your heart of hearts, you are concerned about their future and their health because of the decisions they are making\u2014first, have a discussion with your child. If in that discussion\u2014where you\u2019re not accusing but you\u2019re just saying, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about it,\u201d\u2014the more defensive they are, the more a warning sign that is to you that you need to get them some help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, May 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can you tell if your son or daughter is simply stretching his or her wings or if something more serious is going on in that young person\u2019s life?\u00a0 We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019ve talked, over the years, about parents dealing with prodigals. There are various levels of prodigal kids. There are some times when the prodigal experience is so extreme that a mom and a dad look at each other and say, \u201cWe don\u2019t know what to do here.\u201d\u00a0 They need help from outside of the family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. Barbara and I wrote a book called <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em> where we talked about how there are different types of prodigals. One of them is in an in-house prodigal, where they are still living at home. They are not doing what Jesus talked about in the Book of Luke, where they are out slopping with the hogs\u2014they are just causing problems and difficulty within the family. Then, there are some who are out-of-house prodigals, where they leave\u2014and either they run away or they try to get away\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and they are full-blown prodigals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have a guest with us in the studio today, Jim Subers, who gives leadership to Shelterwood, which\u2014would you say you deal with prodigals or not because you made a statement, just before we came on air\u2014that made me go, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 Share with our listeners what you said about most of the kids who come to Shelterwood\u2014this residential treatment facility\u2014for teenagers: 13 to 18 years old. Explain what you said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>First, let me say, \u201cYes, we deal with prodigals.\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019ll get back to that too. But the statement I was saying off-air was that I could probably count on my fingers, on one hand, the number of kids that we\u2019ve had in the last three-and-a-half years at Shelterwood\u2014since I\u2019ve been there\u2014that I would consider truly <em>rebellious<\/em> troubled kids. Most of these kids are just really hurting and looking for answers. Through lies they\u2019ve believed about themselves or about God\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they\u2019ve embraced a direction in their life that has led them into these behaviors, and they are confused. They need help!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I tell them, regularly: \u201cYou guys don\u2019t realize what a <em>gift <\/em>you\u2019ve been given to be here at Shelterwood. You think your freedom has been curtailed, and you\u2019ve been sent away somewhere to be punished; but guys, you don\u2019t realize\u201490 percent of the kids in America could benefit from a year at a place like Shelterwood. You\u2019ve been removed from the matrix for a period of time where you can actually think about life, and the deep questions of life, and what\u2019s important. You can learn some tools that will help you <em>forever<\/em>. And Shelterwood may be your pigpen experience.\u201d\u00a0 We talk about the prodigal story and how that kid finally came to a place in the pigpen where he came to his senses; right? The Scripture says he <em>came to his senses<\/em> and, then, he went back to Mom and Dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Well, most of these moms and dads\u2014they just want their kid back; right?\u00a0 They want the child that they had before the teenage craziness happened. They want that kid back\u2014the joy, the life, the sparkle in their eyes\u2014and they don\u2019t know how to get it back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But Jim, as you look into the eyes of a child, who is not doing well \/ a troubled child\u2014you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014maybe, he has been hurt by the culture \/ maybe, he\u2019s been duped by the culture. You see anger. You see pushback on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014the boundaries \/ on\u2014you\u2019re asking them to do their homework, and they don\u2019t do it. That seems, to me, to be rebellion; but you must not be classifying it like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. It\u2019s probably just nuance in the way we\u2019re defining it. I would say their identity is not rebellious\u2014they are not <em>rebellious<\/em>, as a person. They\u2019re doing some rebellious behavior, but it\u2019s coming out of a place of confusion \/ a place of desperation. They want to be known\u2014they want to be loved. And most parents think it\u2019s their job to control their kid\u2019s behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t do that!\u00a0 You can control the consequences of their teenager\u2019s behavior, but the child\u2019s got to learn that; right?\u00a0 And so, the job of a parent is to manage the consequences of the behavior of their teenager so that, hopefully, they\u2019ll learn the lesson. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen it gets to the place where they are putting themselves at risk\u2014where they are going to make some decisions that could jeopardize their future\u2014that\u2019s when they often choose residential care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, as you think about the young men and the young women that you\u2019re working with at Shelterwood\u2014Dennis talked about in-house versus out-of-house prodigals. These are kids who have gotten to a point in their behavior where Mom and Dad say: \u201cWe can\u2019t control this anymore. We can\u2019t handle this.\u201d\u00a0 Or is it just Mom and Dad saying, \u201cWe think time away from the culture that you\u2019ve been involved with is going to be best\u201d?\u00a0 What\u2019s the typical scenario?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, the typical scenario is usually parents wait too long; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it would be ideal if they would move a little quicker; but you\u2019re always hoping that they\u2019ll just get over this\u2014they\u2019ll pass through this phase. But usually, Mom and Dad have delayed the decision because they don\u2019t want to make it because it is painful. It\u2019s painful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We are easily duped, as parents. Are we not?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. We see some wonderful examples of skilled manipulators when they get to Shelterwood. Some of the kids have <em>really learned<\/em> how to work their moms and dads. And on the phone calls, typically, the first few days that they are with us, they are telling their moms and dads every story they can tell\u2014pulling every trick out of the book, trying to get Mom and Dad to pull them\u2014you know: \u201cThe foods bad,\u201d \u201cMy roommate\u2019s crazy,\u201d \u201cThey hate me here,\u201d \u201cThey keep me locked up.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s all\u2014none of it is true; but they are trying <em>everything<\/em> they can to convince Mom and Dad to pull them from the program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the mom and dad that stay the course\u2014I mean, I see this at graduations <em>all the time<\/em>\u2014the kids will say: \u201cI tried to talk you into pulling me. I\u2019m so glad you didn\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 Oftentimes, they\u2019ll stand up and they\u2019ll talk about the tremendous friends they\u2019ve made. The thing that encourages me the most, though\u2014is the love for their mom and dad that often has been restored\u2014and then a renewed or sometimes a beginning faith in Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis last year, I took a team of 40 to Haiti. We had 25 kids and about 15 staff. As we got ready to go to Haiti, one of the little girls, Elizabeth, came up to me and said, \u201cI\u2019d like you to baptize me in the Caribbean in Haiti.\u201d\u00a0 She was really pursuing the Lord and become a real leader in the girls\u2019 house. I said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019d be happy to do that. The only condition I have is that you\u2019re willing to say that in front of your friends\u2014that you want to follow Jesus with your whole heart, and that\u2019s why you are doing this.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI\u2019m happy to do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Well, by the time the last full day that we were in Haiti came along\u2014this is the night before\u2014I had had 13 young people that had come to me and said they wanted to follow Jesus with their whole heart. A couple of these were the toughest nuts in the whole campus\u2014and that, one by one, as I prepared to baptize them in the Caribbean, they stood in front of their friends, and the staff that were there, and then all the visitors at the beach and proclaimed in a different way\u2014every one of them did it differently\u2014but it was all basically the same message: \u201cI\u2019m tired of doing it my way. I want to follow Jesus the rest of my life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019ve got to tell you that was the greatest\u2014apart from the birth of my kids and marrying my wife\u2014that was the greatest day of my life. I\u2019ve been in prisons all over the country\u2014I\u2019ve seen lots of inmates come to Jesus\u2014but watching these kids that we\u2019ve worked with for some many months stand in front of their friends and say, \u201cI want to follow Jesus,\u201d\u2014doesn\u2019t get any better than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have to see some of those kids\u2014maybe not those 13 yet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but some kids, who step up and say, \u201cI want to follow Jesus,\u201d and then, six months later, not so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Oh, six days later!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I mean, they\u2019ve come right back to Shelterwood and to the friends they\u2019ve created there, and they have to battle. They have to battle the reality. Some of them that came back from Haiti, after being baptized, struggled; but they had to learn to overcome that. So, we would have separate studies with them\u2014\u201cWell, what does it mean now that you\u2019ve made this decision to follow Jesus?\u00a0 What does it look like for you?\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019ve really been proud of these kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got to get over the shame of sending your child to a facility because there really is a community that occurs\u2014that\u2019s created\u2014by a ministry like Shelterwood that allows them to minister to each other and call one another up. It\u2019s the best kind of peer pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to go back to your trip to Haiti. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What\u2019s the thinking behind taking 25 troubled youth to a foreign country?\u00a0 What are you doing there?\u00a0 And how long are you there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, it does sound kind of crazy, but it\u2019s part of how God made me; right?\u00a0 I mean, my background was missionary in Japan for five years and, then, business and ministry in 40 different countries. So, I love the nations. I <em>love<\/em> what it does in your heart when you take Jesus to the nations. So, our kids need to get out of their comfort zone \/ their own world experience and touch the third world. The closest you can get to the third world or the developing world is Haiti right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a tremendous partnership with a ministry called Global Orphan Project. We\u2019ve now done six trips with them over the last few years. We\u2019ve got another one scheduled in June. It has been <em>phenomenal<\/em> to watch what happens in the hearts of our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou basically go to Haiti and work in their orphanages, loving on kids. What happens is\u2014well, I can give you a couple of stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne little girl felt unloved, unworthy, worthless\u2014a lot of suicidal ideation. We\u2019ll call her Cindy. She went to Haiti. The fact that little orphan kids swarmed her and loved on her, and she was able to love on them for several days, just kind of broke the barriers in her heart. She came back a different person and has continued in her pursuit of Jesus ever since with a new vision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Another little girl\u2014we\u2019ll call her Lisa\u2014she came to us as a 15-year-old who had gotten involved into drug abuse\u2014gotten involved with an older boy that led to inappropriate sexual relationships\u2014and that led into abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEventually, she learned to manipulate both sets of parents\u2014step-parents \/ real parents\u2014to where there was in-fighting between the family. It was a disaster in that home. She came to Shelterwood really feeling used. At the beginning of her time with us, she was asking questions like: \u201cWhy would anybody love me?\u00a0 Why would I love anybody else?\u201d\u00a0 Over a period of time, she began\u2014her questions began to change to: \u201cWhy would God love me?\u00a0 Why should I love God?\u201d\u00a0 She told me, on that trip to Haiti\u2014she said: \u201cI think I know why I\u2019m created now. God created me to love others.\u201d\u00a0 She is <em>just<\/em> the most beautiful young woman; and now, she graduated from our program. She\u2019s just finished her junior year in her high school back home and is doing very well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it is kind of unusual to think that we would\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and kind of crazy that we would take what the world would say is 25 troubled teens to a foreign country\u2014but it\u2019s one of the most important things we do. And we do domestic mission trips as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There have got to be some young men and women, who come to Shelterwood\u2014and after a while, you say: \u201cThis is beyond us. We can\u2019t help these kids.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s going on with those kids, and what do you do when Shelterwood doesn\u2019t work for them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s one of the hardest to deal with for us. Because we are not a lockdown facility and we\u2019re not a medical facility\u2014when a kid is very serious about suicide, for example, or there are cutting issues, or putting their health at risk\u2014then, we\u2019re not the place for them. But as long as we believe we can help them, we\u2019re going to keep them with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve had a number of kids that\u2014while over the course of time they are with us, they\u2019ll have to exit out and go to a medical facility for a period of time before they can come back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had one young man\u2014I\u2019ll call him Jerry\u2014that just about a month ago\u2014had to leave our program. His issues were such that we didn\u2019t think that we were the best place for him to stay \/ his parents agreed. But before he left that day, I said, \u201cJerry, tell me why you think you are at Shelterwood and what happened in your heart and in your life while you were here.\u201d\u00a0 He said: \u201cThe most important thing is I met Jesus, here at Shelterwood. It\u2019s totally transformed my life. I didn\u2019t believe my life was worth anything\u2014that I had purpose. I didn\u2019t believe I should live before I came here. Now, I know that I have a future\u2014that I have a hope\u2014and that there is a good future for me. So, I want to thank you for what you\u2019ve done.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we\u2019re always recognizing that graduation from our program is only one indicator of whether we\u2019ve been successful. When a kid does leave Shelterwood and hasn\u2019t come to faith in Jesus\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I don\u2019t consider that a failure if we\u2019ve sowed truth in their heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we\u2019ve got\u2014I take the boys to dinner before they graduate. I\u2019ll ask them the question\u2014I\u2019ll say, \u201cTell me where you were in your interest in Jesus and in spiritual things on a scale of one to ten\u2014just give me a ranking of where you were before you came to Shelterwood.\u201d\u00a0 Typically, the number is below five\u2014it\u2019s usually a one. Sometimes, a kid will say, \u201cNegative 10\u201d; you know?\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s the animosity they have towards anything their parents are associated with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014they\u2019ve just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Lump it together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014lumped it together. So, then, I ask the question: \u201cOkay, where are you now?\u00a0 Now, as you are graduating\u2014in terms of your level of interest in Jesus and things spiritual, where would you be?\u201d\u00a0 And almost every kid\u2014it\u2019s six, seven, eight, nine, or ten. That\u2019s all I can ask for. If I can move them along the bar toward their interest in Jesus\u2014sow the Word of truth into their hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014God\u2019s Word doesn\u2019t return void. It\u2019ll accomplish what He sent it forth to do; you know?\u00a0 We\u2019re part of their journey toward Jesus, but some\u2014one sows, one waters, one reaps\u2014I <em>love<\/em> it when we get to reap. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose trips to Haiti\u2014I kind of feel a little bit guilty that all of my staff doesn\u2019t get to baptize the kids. I\u2019m the one that gets the benefit of actually that moment, but everyone of us are engaged together in the process of bringing them toward change and toward that decision. That\u2019s why I think I\u2019ve got the greatest job in the world because I\u2019m the one that gets to benefit from the reaping. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m going to ask you a tough question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What would you encourage parents to make sure that they absolutely do with their teenagers as they enter the teenage years\u201412, 13, 14?\u00a0 And I threw in 12 because, for young people today, the teenage years are starting at a younger age. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Starting earlier\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They really are. What would you say is really\u2014if you want to make sure you do one thing, as a parent, with your son or your daughter, what one thing would you encourage parents to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, I can\u2019t answer that as one thing without saying, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be in agreeing prayer with your spouse,\u201d if you\u2019re married. If you are a single parent, it\u2019s a little tougher; but prayer for your child is absolutely dead-on the most important thing you are doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, agreement\u2014if you are married\u2014agreement with your spouse on the consequences and the enforcement of the consequences for behavior that you don\u2019t believe is appropriate. It is absolutely critical that the authority of mom and dad is established in that home. If not, then, you\u2019re going to be dealing with Shelterwood down the road, or a program like ours, or you\u2019re going to be having some pretty serious heartache at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you really believe that a lot of the kids who arrive at Shelterwood are there because their parents did not enforce the boundaries and bring about consequences from their children\u2019s disobedience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, sometimes, you are dealing with great parents who\u2019ve tried to do everything right; but a child is a freewill, moral agent. And sometimes, they don\u2019t get it quick; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Sometimes, it\u2019s in their 20\u2019s they\u2019re going to get it. And so, I quite honestly think that parents, who send their kids to Shelterwood, are some of the finest parents in the world. You\u2019re only reading the parenting books \/ you\u2019re only sending your kid to Shelterwood if you care\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014if you really <em>want<\/em> to do it right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re not saying that having boundaries will indemnify you against a child pushing against them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Not at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re just saying that the parents who don\u2019t have the boundaries are headed for a rockier road than the parents who are trying to establish those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>That\u2019s a very good way to put it, Bob. It\u2019s both; right. Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I want to thank you for your ministry. It\u2019s a needed ministry today, unfortunately. But you know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m glad it exists because parents, at points, reach a place where they can no longer do it. They need a community\u2014a believing community\u2014that calls their children to follow Jesus Christ and the teachings of Scripture, and that\u2019s what Shelterwood does. Just appreciate you and your ministry there in Kansas City. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Great. Can we pray for the moms and dads who are out there listening to the program, who may be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Why don\u2019t you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014dealing with troubled teens?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Please. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jim: <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGracious Heavenly Father, we come to You. We thank You for the love that You\u2019ve given us for our kids. Father, I pray for these moms and dads, that are listening now, who may be struggling with a teenager that\u2019s kind of gone off the rails that they\u2019re really concerned about. I just pray that You would come alongside them and give them faith and hope for the future of their child and give them wise counsel into how to go forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod, I pray that hopelessness, despair, fear would be driven from these homes\u2014that You would give these moms and dads the courage to make the decisions that they need to make to do the job of parenting that You\u2019ve given them. God, we\u2019ve got the confidence that You love these kids even more than these moms and dads do. You do have answers \/ You do have solutions, and they are not to give up hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we thank You, God, that You say, \u201cNow, faith, hope, and love\u2026\u201d and that You would give these parents hope and love\u2014never to give up on these children \/ these prodigals. God, encourage their hearts today. We pray in Jesus\u2019 name. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I agree. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jim\u2014thanks again for being with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf our listeners are interested in finding out more about Shelterwood, probably the easiest thing for them to do is to go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and we\u2019ve got a link to the Shelterwood website there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey can find out more about the work you are doing and how to get in touch with you. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find out more about Shelterwood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll also see information about Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>. This is a book that Dennis and Barbara wrote to help moms and dads navigate their teenager through some of the tough issues teens are facing today\u2014whether it is things like part-time jobs, and sports, and busyness, or whether it\u2019s some of the more destructive kinds of things that teens are involved with today. The book, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>, helps parents get on the same team\u2014clarify your values \/ decide how you are going to address these issues with your son or your daughter as they go through the teen years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and you click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d in the upper left-hand corner of the screen, you can order a copy of the book, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and place your order over the phone\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Or again, find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I know most of our listeners are headed toward a holiday weekend. Can I ask you, over the course of the holiday, to talk about the possibility of making a contribution in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\u00a0 Here is the reason why\u2014I think most of you know we are listener-supported. The cost of producing and syndicating the radio program is covered from donations from folks, just like you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou may not be aware that this month we have a matching-gift fund that has been established. Every donation we are receiving this month is being matched, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $300,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as we head in toward the end of the month, we\u2019re trying to make sure we take full advantage of the matching-gift opportunity that has been offered to us. That\u2019s why any donation you make this weekend\u2014the impact of that donation is going to be doubled. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in some way in your life\u2014in your marriage \/ in your family\u2014over the last several months, would you consider making a special donation this weekend, knowing that the impact of that donation is going to be doubled because of the matching-gift fund?\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you are able to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a <em>great <\/em>weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend. Hope you can join us on Monday when we are going to talk to a couple of young men, who\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014during their teen years \/ actually, during their late teen years\u2014they veered away from the faith they had been taught, growing up. In fact, dad was a pastor. Mom and dad raised them with a solid understanding of their faith. You\u2019ll meet the Shook brothers on Monday and hear their story. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.33M"],"filesize_raw":["25507747"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-303505.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-303505.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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});\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1781149558;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Jim Subers talks to parents about rebellious and hurting teens. Jim explains that many troubled teens are just looking for answers and have believed lies about themselves and God.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2015-05-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is not unusual for a teenager to push back on parental authority. Here\u2019s Jim Subers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>There\u2019s no perfect kid \/ there is no perfect parent; but when it gets to a situation where in your heart of hearts, you are concerned about their future and their health because of the decisions they are making\u2014first, have a discussion with your child. If in that discussion\u2014where you\u2019re not accusing but you\u2019re just saying, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about it,\u201d\u2014the more defensive they are, the more a warning sign that is to you that you need to get them some help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, May 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. How can you tell if your son or daughter is simply stretching his or her wings or if something more serious is going on in that young person\u2019s life?\u00a0 We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019ve talked, over the years, about parents dealing with prodigals. There are various levels of prodigal kids. There are some times when the prodigal experience is so extreme that a mom and a dad look at each other and say, \u201cWe don\u2019t know what to do here.\u201d\u00a0 They need help from outside of the family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. Barbara and I wrote a book called <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em> where we talked about how there are different types of prodigals. One of them is in an in-house prodigal, where they are still living at home. They are not doing what Jesus talked about in the Book of Luke, where they are out slopping with the hogs\u2014they are just causing problems and difficulty within the family. Then, there are some who are out-of-house prodigals, where they leave\u2014and either they run away or they try to get away\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and they are full-blown prodigals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have a guest with us in the studio today, Jim Subers, who gives leadership to Shelterwood, which\u2014would you say you deal with prodigals or not because you made a statement, just before we came on air\u2014that made me go, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 Share with our listeners what you said about most of the kids who come to Shelterwood\u2014this residential treatment facility\u2014for teenagers: 13 to 18 years old. Explain what you said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>First, let me say, \u201cYes, we deal with prodigals.\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019ll get back to that too. But the statement I was saying off-air was that I could probably count on my fingers, on one hand, the number of kids that we\u2019ve had in the last three-and-a-half years at Shelterwood\u2014since I\u2019ve been there\u2014that I would consider truly <em>rebellious<\/em> troubled kids. Most of these kids are just really hurting and looking for answers. Through lies they\u2019ve believed about themselves or about God\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they\u2019ve embraced a direction in their life that has led them into these behaviors, and they are confused. They need help!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I tell them, regularly: \u201cYou guys don\u2019t realize what a <em>gift <\/em>you\u2019ve been given to be here at Shelterwood. You think your freedom has been curtailed, and you\u2019ve been sent away somewhere to be punished; but guys, you don\u2019t realize\u201490 percent of the kids in America could benefit from a year at a place like Shelterwood. You\u2019ve been removed from the matrix for a period of time where you can actually think about life, and the deep questions of life, and what\u2019s important. You can learn some tools that will help you <em>forever<\/em>. And Shelterwood may be your pigpen experience.\u201d\u00a0 We talk about the prodigal story and how that kid finally came to a place in the pigpen where he came to his senses; right? The Scripture says he <em>came to his senses<\/em> and, then, he went back to Mom and Dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Well, most of these moms and dads\u2014they just want their kid back; right?\u00a0 They want the child that they had before the teenage craziness happened. They want that kid back\u2014the joy, the life, the sparkle in their eyes\u2014and they don\u2019t know how to get it back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But Jim, as you look into the eyes of a child, who is not doing well \/ a troubled child\u2014you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014maybe, he has been hurt by the culture \/ maybe, he\u2019s been duped by the culture. You see anger. You see pushback on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014the boundaries \/ on\u2014you\u2019re asking them to do their homework, and they don\u2019t do it. That seems, to me, to be rebellion; but you must not be classifying it like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. It\u2019s probably just nuance in the way we\u2019re defining it. I would say their identity is not rebellious\u2014they are not <em>rebellious<\/em>, as a person. They\u2019re doing some rebellious behavior, but it\u2019s coming out of a place of confusion \/ a place of desperation. They want to be known\u2014they want to be loved. And most parents think it\u2019s their job to control their kid\u2019s behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t do that!\u00a0 You can control the consequences of their teenager\u2019s behavior, but the child\u2019s got to learn that; right?\u00a0 And so, the job of a parent is to manage the consequences of the behavior of their teenager so that, hopefully, they\u2019ll learn the lesson. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen it gets to the place where they are putting themselves at risk\u2014where they are going to make some decisions that could jeopardize their future\u2014that\u2019s when they often choose residential care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, as you think about the young men and the young women that you\u2019re working with at Shelterwood\u2014Dennis talked about in-house versus out-of-house prodigals. These are kids who have gotten to a point in their behavior where Mom and Dad say: \u201cWe can\u2019t control this anymore. We can\u2019t handle this.\u201d\u00a0 Or is it just Mom and Dad saying, \u201cWe think time away from the culture that you\u2019ve been involved with is going to be best\u201d?\u00a0 What\u2019s the typical scenario?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, the typical scenario is usually parents wait too long; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it would be ideal if they would move a little quicker; but you\u2019re always hoping that they\u2019ll just get over this\u2014they\u2019ll pass through this phase. But usually, Mom and Dad have delayed the decision because they don\u2019t want to make it because it is painful. It\u2019s painful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We are easily duped, as parents. Are we not?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes. We see some wonderful examples of skilled manipulators when they get to Shelterwood. Some of the kids have <em>really learned<\/em> how to work their moms and dads. And on the phone calls, typically, the first few days that they are with us, they are telling their moms and dads every story they can tell\u2014pulling every trick out of the book, trying to get Mom and Dad to pull them\u2014you know: \u201cThe foods bad,\u201d \u201cMy roommate\u2019s crazy,\u201d \u201cThey hate me here,\u201d \u201cThey keep me locked up.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s all\u2014none of it is true; but they are trying <em>everything<\/em> they can to convince Mom and Dad to pull them from the program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the mom and dad that stay the course\u2014I mean, I see this at graduations <em>all the time<\/em>\u2014the kids will say: \u201cI tried to talk you into pulling me. I\u2019m so glad you didn\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 Oftentimes, they\u2019ll stand up and they\u2019ll talk about the tremendous friends they\u2019ve made. The thing that encourages me the most, though\u2014is the love for their mom and dad that often has been restored\u2014and then a renewed or sometimes a beginning faith in Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis last year, I took a team of 40 to Haiti. We had 25 kids and about 15 staff. As we got ready to go to Haiti, one of the little girls, Elizabeth, came up to me and said, \u201cI\u2019d like you to baptize me in the Caribbean in Haiti.\u201d\u00a0 She was really pursuing the Lord and become a real leader in the girls\u2019 house. I said: \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019d be happy to do that. The only condition I have is that you\u2019re willing to say that in front of your friends\u2014that you want to follow Jesus with your whole heart, and that\u2019s why you are doing this.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI\u2019m happy to do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Well, by the time the last full day that we were in Haiti came along\u2014this is the night before\u2014I had had 13 young people that had come to me and said they wanted to follow Jesus with their whole heart. A couple of these were the toughest nuts in the whole campus\u2014and that, one by one, as I prepared to baptize them in the Caribbean, they stood in front of their friends, and the staff that were there, and then all the visitors at the beach and proclaimed in a different way\u2014every one of them did it differently\u2014but it was all basically the same message: \u201cI\u2019m tired of doing it my way. I want to follow Jesus the rest of my life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019ve got to tell you that was the greatest\u2014apart from the birth of my kids and marrying my wife\u2014that was the greatest day of my life. I\u2019ve been in prisons all over the country\u2014I\u2019ve seen lots of inmates come to Jesus\u2014but watching these kids that we\u2019ve worked with for some many months stand in front of their friends and say, \u201cI want to follow Jesus,\u201d\u2014doesn\u2019t get any better than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have to see some of those kids\u2014maybe not those 13 yet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but some kids, who step up and say, \u201cI want to follow Jesus,\u201d and then, six months later, not so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Oh, six days later!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I mean, they\u2019ve come right back to Shelterwood and to the friends they\u2019ve created there, and they have to battle. They have to battle the reality. Some of them that came back from Haiti, after being baptized, struggled; but they had to learn to overcome that. So, we would have separate studies with them\u2014\u201cWell, what does it mean now that you\u2019ve made this decision to follow Jesus?\u00a0 What does it look like for you?\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019ve really been proud of these kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got to get over the shame of sending your child to a facility because there really is a community that occurs\u2014that\u2019s created\u2014by a ministry like Shelterwood that allows them to minister to each other and call one another up. It\u2019s the best kind of peer pressure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to go back to your trip to Haiti. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What\u2019s the thinking behind taking 25 troubled youth to a foreign country?\u00a0 What are you doing there?\u00a0 And how long are you there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, it does sound kind of crazy, but it\u2019s part of how God made me; right?\u00a0 I mean, my background was missionary in Japan for five years and, then, business and ministry in 40 different countries. So, I love the nations. I <em>love<\/em> what it does in your heart when you take Jesus to the nations. So, our kids need to get out of their comfort zone \/ their own world experience and touch the third world. The closest you can get to the third world or the developing world is Haiti right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a tremendous partnership with a ministry called Global Orphan Project. We\u2019ve now done six trips with them over the last few years. We\u2019ve got another one scheduled in June. It has been <em>phenomenal<\/em> to watch what happens in the hearts of our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou basically go to Haiti and work in their orphanages, loving on kids. What happens is\u2014well, I can give you a couple of stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne little girl felt unloved, unworthy, worthless\u2014a lot of suicidal ideation. We\u2019ll call her Cindy. She went to Haiti. The fact that little orphan kids swarmed her and loved on her, and she was able to love on them for several days, just kind of broke the barriers in her heart. She came back a different person and has continued in her pursuit of Jesus ever since with a new vision. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Another little girl\u2014we\u2019ll call her Lisa\u2014she came to us as a 15-year-old who had gotten involved into drug abuse\u2014gotten involved with an older boy that led to inappropriate sexual relationships\u2014and that led into abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEventually, she learned to manipulate both sets of parents\u2014step-parents \/ real parents\u2014to where there was in-fighting between the family. It was a disaster in that home. She came to Shelterwood really feeling used. At the beginning of her time with us, she was asking questions like: \u201cWhy would anybody love me?\u00a0 Why would I love anybody else?\u201d\u00a0 Over a period of time, she began\u2014her questions began to change to: \u201cWhy would God love me?\u00a0 Why should I love God?\u201d\u00a0 She told me, on that trip to Haiti\u2014she said: \u201cI think I know why I\u2019m created now. God created me to love others.\u201d\u00a0 She is <em>just<\/em> the most beautiful young woman; and now, she graduated from our program. She\u2019s just finished her junior year in her high school back home and is doing very well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it is kind of unusual to think that we would\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and kind of crazy that we would take what the world would say is 25 troubled teens to a foreign country\u2014but it\u2019s one of the most important things we do. And we do domestic mission trips as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There have got to be some young men and women, who come to Shelterwood\u2014and after a while, you say: \u201cThis is beyond us. We can\u2019t help these kids.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s going on with those kids, and what do you do when Shelterwood doesn\u2019t work for them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s one of the hardest to deal with for us. Because we are not a lockdown facility and we\u2019re not a medical facility\u2014when a kid is very serious about suicide, for example, or there are cutting issues, or putting their health at risk\u2014then, we\u2019re not the place for them. But as long as we believe we can help them, we\u2019re going to keep them with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019ve had a number of kids that\u2014while over the course of time they are with us, they\u2019ll have to exit out and go to a medical facility for a period of time before they can come back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had one young man\u2014I\u2019ll call him Jerry\u2014that just about a month ago\u2014had to leave our program. His issues were such that we didn\u2019t think that we were the best place for him to stay \/ his parents agreed. But before he left that day, I said, \u201cJerry, tell me why you think you are at Shelterwood and what happened in your heart and in your life while you were here.\u201d\u00a0 He said: \u201cThe most important thing is I met Jesus, here at Shelterwood. It\u2019s totally transformed my life. I didn\u2019t believe my life was worth anything\u2014that I had purpose. I didn\u2019t believe I should live before I came here. Now, I know that I have a future\u2014that I have a hope\u2014and that there is a good future for me. So, I want to thank you for what you\u2019ve done.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we\u2019re always recognizing that graduation from our program is only one indicator of whether we\u2019ve been successful. When a kid does leave Shelterwood and hasn\u2019t come to faith in Jesus\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014I don\u2019t consider that a failure if we\u2019ve sowed truth in their heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we\u2019ve got\u2014I take the boys to dinner before they graduate. I\u2019ll ask them the question\u2014I\u2019ll say, \u201cTell me where you were in your interest in Jesus and in spiritual things on a scale of one to ten\u2014just give me a ranking of where you were before you came to Shelterwood.\u201d\u00a0 Typically, the number is below five\u2014it\u2019s usually a one. Sometimes, a kid will say, \u201cNegative 10\u201d; you know?\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s the animosity they have towards anything their parents are associated with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014they\u2019ve just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Lump it together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014lumped it together. So, then, I ask the question: \u201cOkay, where are you now?\u00a0 Now, as you are graduating\u2014in terms of your level of interest in Jesus and things spiritual, where would you be?\u201d\u00a0 And almost every kid\u2014it\u2019s six, seven, eight, nine, or ten. That\u2019s all I can ask for. If I can move them along the bar toward their interest in Jesus\u2014sow the Word of truth into their hearts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014God\u2019s Word doesn\u2019t return void. It\u2019ll accomplish what He sent it forth to do; you know?\u00a0 We\u2019re part of their journey toward Jesus, but some\u2014one sows, one waters, one reaps\u2014I <em>love<\/em> it when we get to reap. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose trips to Haiti\u2014I kind of feel a little bit guilty that all of my staff doesn\u2019t get to baptize the kids. I\u2019m the one that gets the benefit of actually that moment, but everyone of us are engaged together in the process of bringing them toward change and toward that decision. That\u2019s why I think I\u2019ve got the greatest job in the world because I\u2019m the one that gets to benefit from the reaping. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m going to ask you a tough question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What would you encourage parents to make sure that they absolutely do with their teenagers as they enter the teenage years\u201412, 13, 14?\u00a0 And I threw in 12 because, for young people today, the teenage years are starting at a younger age. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Starting earlier\u2014right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>They really are. What would you say is really\u2014if you want to make sure you do one thing, as a parent, with your son or your daughter, what one thing would you encourage parents to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, I can\u2019t answer that as one thing without saying, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be in agreeing prayer with your spouse,\u201d if you\u2019re married. If you are a single parent, it\u2019s a little tougher; but prayer for your child is absolutely dead-on the most important thing you are doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, agreement\u2014if you are married\u2014agreement with your spouse on the consequences and the enforcement of the consequences for behavior that you don\u2019t believe is appropriate. It is absolutely critical that the authority of mom and dad is established in that home. If not, then, you\u2019re going to be dealing with Shelterwood down the road, or a program like ours, or you\u2019re going to be having some pretty serious heartache at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you really believe that a lot of the kids who arrive at Shelterwood are there because their parents did not enforce the boundaries and bring about consequences from their children\u2019s disobedience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, sometimes, you are dealing with great parents who\u2019ve tried to do everything right; but a child is a freewill, moral agent. And sometimes, they don\u2019t get it quick; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Sometimes, it\u2019s in their 20\u2019s they\u2019re going to get it. And so, I quite honestly think that parents, who send their kids to Shelterwood, are some of the finest parents in the world. You\u2019re only reading the parenting books \/ you\u2019re only sending your kid to Shelterwood if you care\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014if you really <em>want<\/em> to do it right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re not saying that having boundaries will indemnify you against a child pushing against them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Not at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You\u2019re just saying that the parents who don\u2019t have the boundaries are headed for a rockier road than the parents who are trying to establish those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>That\u2019s a very good way to put it, Bob. It\u2019s both; right. Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I want to thank you for your ministry. It\u2019s a needed ministry today, unfortunately. But you know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m glad it exists because parents, at points, reach a place where they can no longer do it. They need a community\u2014a believing community\u2014that calls their children to follow Jesus Christ and the teachings of Scripture, and that\u2019s what Shelterwood does. Just appreciate you and your ministry there in Kansas City. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Great. Can we pray for the moms and dads who are out there listening to the program, who may be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Why don\u2019t you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014dealing with troubled teens?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Please. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jim: <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGracious Heavenly Father, we come to You. We thank You for the love that You\u2019ve given us for our kids. Father, I pray for these moms and dads, that are listening now, who may be struggling with a teenager that\u2019s kind of gone off the rails that they\u2019re really concerned about. I just pray that You would come alongside them and give them faith and hope for the future of their child and give them wise counsel into how to go forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod, I pray that hopelessness, despair, fear would be driven from these homes\u2014that You would give these moms and dads the courage to make the decisions that they need to make to do the job of parenting that You\u2019ve given them. God, we\u2019ve got the confidence that You love these kids even more than these moms and dads do. You do have answers \/ You do have solutions, and they are not to give up hope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we thank You, God, that You say, \u201cNow, faith, hope, and love\u2026\u201d and that You would give these parents hope and love\u2014never to give up on these children \/ these prodigals. God, encourage their hearts today. We pray in Jesus\u2019 name. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I agree. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jim\u2014thanks again for being with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf our listeners are interested in finding out more about Shelterwood, probably the easiest thing for them to do is to go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link in the upper left-hand corner of the screen that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d and we\u2019ve got a link to the Shelterwood website there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey can find out more about the work you are doing and how to get in touch with you. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER.\u201d You\u2019ll find out more about Shelterwood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ll also see information about Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>. This is a book that Dennis and Barbara wrote to help moms and dads navigate their teenager through some of the tough issues teens are facing today\u2014whether it is things like part-time jobs, and sports, and busyness, or whether it\u2019s some of the more destructive kinds of things that teens are involved with today. The book, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>, helps parents get on the same team\u2014clarify your values \/ decide how you are going to address these issues with your son or your daughter as they go through the teen years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and you click the link that says, \u201cGO DEEPER,\u201d in the upper left-hand corner of the screen, you can order a copy of the book, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and place your order over the phone\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Or again, find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I know most of our listeners are headed toward a holiday weekend. Can I ask you, over the course of the holiday, to talk about the possibility of making a contribution in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\u00a0 Here is the reason why\u2014I think most of you know we are listener-supported. The cost of producing and syndicating the radio program is covered from donations from folks, just like you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou may not be aware that this month we have a matching-gift fund that has been established. Every donation we are receiving this month is being matched, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $300,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as we head in toward the end of the month, we\u2019re trying to make sure we take full advantage of the matching-gift opportunity that has been offered to us. That\u2019s why any donation you make this weekend\u2014the impact of that donation is going to be doubled. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. Or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and the zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in some way in your life\u2014in your marriage \/ in your family\u2014over the last several months, would you consider making a special donation this weekend, knowing that the impact of that donation is going to be doubled because of the matching-gift fund?\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for whatever you are able to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a <em>great <\/em>weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend. Hope you can join us on Monday when we are going to talk to a couple of young men, who\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014during their teen years \/ actually, during their late teen years\u2014they veered away from the faith they had been taught, growing up. In fact, dad was a pastor. Mom and dad raised them with a solid understanding of their faith. You\u2019ll meet the Shook brothers on Monday and hear their story. Hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2015 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/303505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=303505"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=303505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=303505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=303505"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=303505"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=303505"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=303505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}